Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There was a rapper one day. Delved in the underground. Autotune, like Carti did. 

His gimmick? He was 41 years old, quite the old age for his genre. The young ones in the game called him “Unc”. And one day, he snapped.

His debut album spread like wildfire throughout the LA underground. He found success as the “41 Year Old PluggNB Rapper.” 

The youth looked up to him, however dire their social situation. One day, some guys in a trap house called him up.

“Unc, there’s something glowing in our backyard… you’re so old you would probably know what it is.”

He went over there, he grabbed a shovel, and he started digging. Eventually, he found it. The power of the legendary numbers.

25, the funniest number. Said to be funnier than 24.

41, the number he had already harnessed in his age. Perhaps that is why the pair was beckoning to him. 

67, the tuffest number. 

And 69, the obvious one.

As the box below him glowed with power, his eyes followed. The blue curtains (which carry no narrative meaning) flowed behind him. He was now the best PluggNB rapper ever.

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Unc had a son. His name was Deion. He had zero idea his father had just inherited the power.

Deion was going to turn 18 in 3 days. He had been accepted into MIT for computer science. His life was going great.

Unc came home. “Y’know, Deion, maybe one day, after your computers die down, you could end up like me. Make some joints like Mustard & Not Like Us. Become the greatest PluggnB rapper ever, maybe at 40.”

Dieon protested. “But dad, I don’t want to make mumble rap music like Mustard & Not Like Us! I want to make older brother core radiohead alex g femtanyl nirvana music!”

Unc looked up. “Excuse me?”

“I WANNA MAKE WEIRD KID MUSIC!”

Unc paused. “Get in the car. We’re going to ‘the school’.” 

Dieon’s eyes went wide. “No… not ‘the school’…”

Chapter Text

Unc & Deion pulled up to the school. The name glowed in silver on the gate. “Sgt. Sargent’s Super Tough Military School For Prissy Boys (WIll Result In You Selling Your Soul To An Oil Company Of Your Choosing)”. Yes, every letter was big.

Deion went through the campus to his assigned barracks… at least he thought, until he heard Sgt. Sargent’s voice through the loudspeakers.

“ALRIGHT, MAGGOTS. WELCOME TO THE CITADE- I MEAN SGT. SARGENT’S MILITARY WHATEVER. NOW. REPORT TO THE FIELD FOR YOUR FINAL EXAM! YES! YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT! FINAL EXAM! ON THE FIRST DAY!”

Deion was confused. Final exam? On the first day? He went out to the field.

He, along with about 25 other boys his age, all dressed in full army fatigues (at least they had time to prepare), were met face to face with Sgt. Sargent.

“ALRIGHT, MAGGOTS. THIS IS YOUR FINAL EXAM.” Sgt. Sargent said. He pulled out a comically large gun from his holster. “I AM GOING TO SHOOT YOU POINT BLANK IN THE FACE WITH THIS COMICALLY LARGE GUN! IF YOU LIVE, YOU PASS! IF YOU DIE, YOU FAIL! THIS IS TO ENSURE NO COWARDS ENTER THE EXXO- I MEAN UNITED STATES ARMY.”

Deion was stressed. What was even the pass rate of this exam?

Everyone passed that day. Nobody was happy. Because now they had to enter the army. And the army had a special mission for them…

Chapter Text

Deion and the rest of his class were knocked out. They woke up on the fortnite battle bus. Sgt. Sargent was right in their face.

“ALRIGHT, MAGGOTS. AMAZON HAS COMMISSIONED US TO COLONIZE THE LAST UNCOLONIZED PLACE ON EARTH! YOUR TASK! CLAIM NORTH SENTINEL ISLAND FOR AMAZON PRI- I MEAN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.”

One of the boys raised his hand. “Hey, uh… where are our parachutes?”

“ONLY COWARDS NEED PARACHUTES. FIGURE OUT HOW TO LAND ON YOUR OWN. GOODBYE.”

The floor of the bus opened up, just like in the hit game Fortnite. All 25 boys stalled in the air for a little bit, before falling down.

Then, they landed. In the vast forests of North Sentinel Island. Deion felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked behind him. It was one of the guys from North Sentinel Island, right on his shoulder.

He hoped Bezos was happy.

Chapter Text

Wait. I posted the chapter in the summary. Oops. Sorry.

Chapter Text

“Ay-yi-yi, Zordon! North Sentinel Island has been colonized and they are building a bridge out of Skittles!” Alpha lamented.

“Alpha. I don’t care about current events. I am a floating head in a tube. I am over 10,000 years old.” Zordon replied.

“Hey, maybe you should care about what’s going on in our world today. It’s always good to be in the loop.” Tommy suggested.

“Perhaps that is a goo- TOMMY! WHY ARE YOU HERE! I THOUGHT THE GREEN CANDLE GOT RID OF YOUR POWERS! I THOUGHT I WAS FREE OF YOU!” Zordon shouted.

“What. I’m just here to announce that those guys on the island no longer have plot relevance. And plus, you can never get rid of me. And plus plus, this guy named slamalamadingdong has been whacking me at karate recently, i haven’t been getting any money.”

“I DON’T CARE! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” Zordon shouted.

The viewing globe turned on. “IS THAT THING ALWAYS ON?” He asked.

“It comes on whenever convenient.” Alpha replied.

“TURN IT OF- wait, what are those?” He asked.

“Zordon, those are Lord Zedd’s Vulgar Rangers! They aren’t causing any destruction, they’re just going around being edgy and cursing a whole bunch!”

“And how do you know they aren’t our rangers after a large amount of juice at Ernie’s?”

“They carry all of Lord Zedd’s signs! Oh, do i feel bad for him… he’s clearly been shaken ever since Rita moved to that retirement home in the Florida Keys…”

“Whatever. Warp the Power Rangers over here at once. And hand Tommy an eviction notice effective immediately!”

Chapter Text

“What in the fresh hell are those things?” Zack shout-asked.

“You interrupted my karate practice for some juvenile delinquents?” Jason snapped.

“They are Lord Zedd’s juvenile delinquents. I know the stuff he’s been sending recently isn’t… nearly as threatening, but he’s having it hard right now. He’s probably sitting in his lair right now with a tub of ice cream binge watching ‘The Bold And The Beautiful’”. Zordon explained.

“Well, whatever the case, we should at least handle these guys!” Trini said confidently.

Jason accepted. “Alright, fine… It’s Morphin’ Time!”

The Power Rangers quickly flipped out of nowhere into Angel Grove.

Meanwhile, Bulk & Skull were fooling around with some technology.

“Alright, this is it Skull. This is gonna be my pocket dimension! Bulkland! Funded by BulkCoin™.” Bulk celebrated.

“Uh… why do we need a pocket dimension?” Skull asked.

“Tourist money!” Bulk shouted. “I have to pull the rug on BulkCoin™ eventually. I need something to fall back on.”

Then, the Power Rangers, in the blink of an eye, fell inside the portal. It closed.

“Hey, uh, Bulk?” Skull asked.

“Yes?” Bulk replied hesitantly.

“Did we just… seal the Power Rangers in a pocket universe?” He asked.

They both screamed.

Chapter Text

All of a sudden, three figures appeared in front of them, floating. Some of the most powerful beings in all of fiction. Goku, Superman, and Madoka.

“Look, we believe you two have tons of untapped potential. We want to give you a portion of our powers.” Goku started.

“Yes. Your first goal with these powers is to defeat these… vulgar rangers…” Superman said with a side-eye towards the Red Ranger, who was spraypainting “67” on a brick wall.

“Good luck. And, please, don’t… misuse these powers. Although, please misuse these powers. It’s gonna be so funny.” Madoka finished, stifling back a giggle.

And so, they left. Bulk & Skull felt the power surging through them. The Vulgar Rangers turned their heads.

“Oh shit! This is about to get weird!” The Yellow Ranger said.

“WE NEED FUCKING MEGAZORD POWER, NOW!” The Red Ranger shouted. The zords began to summon until they assembled into the Super Cool Fucking Megazord

Bulk instinctively charged up a kamehameha-like finisher move. He fired it. The Super Cool Fucking Megazord was turned to dust.

Lord Zedd looked on from his lair. He cried more. “Aw man… they failed too… just like me to keep Rita…”

He texted his “old sad villains” group chat.

lord_zeddy: I failed again :(

king_who_loves_zakenna: “Man, I feel you. All my villains were stupid too. Man I still hate Kiriya.”

Mono_bear: “Bah! I could have handled those rangers better! You try to handle the ‘ultimate hope’ on a bad day!”

Chapter Text

Zordon was absolutely PISSED. So much that he started breaking out of his tube.

The tube started cracking. Eventually it exploded. “ZORDON!!! NO!!!”

Tommy walked in. “Oh, great, he’s gone.”

Then, from the smoke emerged… a 4’11” petite girl with twin-tailed hair, a Japanese high school uniform, and an oh-so-kawaii face. This was Zordon’s physical form.

Although nothing changed about him besides that. His voice was still the same as in the tube.

“WHY IN THE HELL ARE BULK & SKULL AT MULTIVERSAL+ LEVEL RIGHT NOW? AND WHY ARE THE POWER RANGERS TRAPPED IN A DIMENSION MADE ONLY FOR A CRYPTO RUG PULLING SCAM? AND WHY IS TOMMY STILL HERE INSIDE MY HOUSE?”

Tommy burst out laughing. “THAT’S what you look like?” He asked.

“GET. OUT. OF. MY. HOUSE!!!!!!” He shouted, arms crossing and foot pounding like a classic tsundere.

Alpha simply held up a mirror.

“NO!!!! I FORGOT!!! THIS BODY WAS THE LAST CURSE RITA PLACED UPON ME BEFORE SHE SEALED ME IN THE TUBE!”

“I will admit, it’s kind of cute, Zordon!” Alpha admitted.

“I. AM. NOT. CUTE!!!!!!!”

Chapter Text

The rangers were bummed. They were still trapped in Bulkland.

“It wasn’t even Lord Zedd who took us out… it was… them…” Kimberly lamented.

“This sucks.” Jason said bluntly.

“HEY GUYS, I FOUND A WEIRD LOOKING CAT!” Zack shouted.

“ZACK! DON’T TOUCH THE LOCAL WILDLIFE!” Billy shouted back.

“Hi. I’m Kyubey. I can get you out of here.” He said.

He opened a portal.

“Thank me later. Also, Kimberly & Trini, if you want to make a contract to become magical girls, i’m always up!” Kyubey offered.

“Yeah, we’ll pass.” Trini said as they jumped through the portal.

When they awoke (still in suits), Principal Caplan was all in their faces. They didn’t know how he recognized them.

“Well… You 5 have missed the SAT. I don’t care that you’ve all had perfect grades. You skipped the most important test. You’re all going to Sgt. Sargent’s Super Tough Military School For Prissy Boys.” He said.

“But we’re the Power Rangers!” Jason replied.

“Two of us aren’t even boys!” Kimberly commented.

“DON’T TRY TO REASON! RUN!” Zack said, already dipping.

They all ran. Principal Caplan grabbed a lasso. He tried to lasso them in.

He was stopped by Bulk & Skull, who were casually tearing the space-time continuum in the middle of the park. Caplan walked in, and was warped into a weird non-dimension where nothing was there & everything was nothing was eternity.

The Rangers were relieved.

Chapter Text

The Rangers got to safety and attempted to contact Zordon. Instead, they realized that Zordon’s frequency had been hacked. By Tommy Oliver.

Hello Power Rangers, welcome to Tommy Oliver’s Vaguely Karate Related Talk Show. I stole Zordon’s frequency in order to broadcast this show. I really, really need the money. I’m sure she’s fine with it.

“Tommy, why did you ever think this was a good ide-” Jason asked, before he was interrupted.

“Wait, did you say she?” Zack asked.

“Oh, i forgot, you don’t know… you aren’t gonna believe this… warp to the command center. Now. You have to see this to believe this.”

They warped. Tommy was no longer in the command center, he had snuck into Billy’s garage to host the talk show, but Billy didn’t know that.

The Rangers arrived to see Zordon’s tube destroyed… and Zordon sitting in a recliner next to it, eating his first ever lean cuisine. “Rangers.”

Their jaws slacked. “ZORDON????”

Chapter Text

“So, are we gonna get Zordon fan service! I wanna see that!” Zack asked.

Zordon ignored the question.

“Rangers. I have realized who the source for all of this chaos is. One man. Sgt. Sergeant.”

“Wait, Sgt. Sergeant… like, the guy who owns the military school?” Billy asked.

“Yes. He is responsible for the Vulgar Rangers and influencing Lord Zedd to make them. We have to stop them.”

“I am ready for anything, Zordon. Send me to the school.” Jason said.

Zordon shook his kawaii head. “No, Jason. There is a small but sizeable chance that the ‘final exam’ he will put you through will kill you. We can not risk losing any one of you.”

Jason thought for a moment. “There’s someone I think we can send. He’s strong, he’s someone i trust, he’s someone i know will survive, and he’s someone that I know you want to send there.” Jason suggested.

Zordon sighed. “Alpha. Warp the Green Ranger here now. Just. Get him out within 5 minutes.” He said.

Tommy warped in through a flash of green light. “Zordon… you really can’t get rid of me!”

“Silence, Tommy. Your task is simple. You’re going to Sgt. Sargent’s Military School. You have to meet Sgt. Sargent himself and defeat him in battle.”

“I understand. Take me.”

Chapter Text

Tommy was spawned right outside Sgt. Sargent’s office. The only air conditioned room in the entire school. He gently opened the door.

Sgt. Sargent was waiting for him. “WELL, MAGGOT. I WAS EXPECTING YOU. WELCOME TO THE MILITARY SCHOOL, TOMMY OLIVER. GET READY FOR YOUR FINAL EXAM, WORM.”

He sat down. “I am ready, Sargent. Hit me with your best shot.” Tommy tempted.

Sgt. Sargent pulled out his comically large gun and aimed it directly at his head. He cocked the trigger.

Tommy passed.

“Well, congratulations, maggot. You passed. Welcome to the army.”

“Thank you, but no. I’m not joining your army. Goodbye.”

Tommy got up and left.

Chapter Text

Zordon contacted him through his communicator. “TOMMY, YOU DUMBASS. YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT HIM.”

“Oh. But I only use karate in self defense!” Tommy argued.

“HE SHOT YOU.” Zordon replied.

“I see.” Tommy concluded.

Sgt. Sargent’s door flew open again, and a flying kick was targeted directly at his face. “YOU WANNA GO, MISTER?” He asked.

Tommy replied “Yes.”

Fists flew, stuff was knocked over, the camera was all fast, rock music was magically playing in the background.

Tommy Oliver defeated the Military Industrial Complex that day. Sgt. Sargent went down.

Chapter Text

XV: Tommy Oliver vs. The Military Industrial Complex (Part 3) (ARC FINALE)

Just when there was peace, the wall broke again. It was Unc, fueled by his new power.

“Tommy… I’m here for you…” he said.

“Oh, I listen to you! I have your album on vinyl!” Tommy commented.

“What kind of player do you have?” Unc asked.

“I use a suitcase player. Why?” Tommy replied.

Unc glowed harder. He lunged towards Tommy. He reached for his morpher. “IT’S MORPHIN’ TIME! DRAGONZORD!”” He shouted, morphing into the green ranger.

Unc summoned his stand, Super Ja Rule. It's normal Ja Rule with a superhero cape. He hit a confident stance. He was ready.

Unc fled, leaving Tommy & the stand. The fight was long & hard. But eventually, with a stab of the dragon dagger, Super Pisard popped out of existence (he will come back later.)

Tommy de-morphed. He slumped against the wall of the hallway. His eyes fluttered shut. His goal was achieved.

And all of this had happened on a single tuesday.

Chapter Text

Rita Repulsa was chilling in her retirement home in the Florida Keys.

“AH! It’s been 10 months since I retired! Time to conquer… oh, what is there to conquer…”

“I’m sure Lord Zedd is handling everything perfectly!” Baboo replied.

“I’m bored… What good is Margaritaville when I can’t make monsters?”

“Perhaps you could conquer the bingo board!” Goldar suggested.

“NO! I need something special! Something chaotic! Goldar! We’re taking a field trip to the Saban archives!”

“Alright your evilness! I will prepare the 1997 Camero!”

They went to the archives. It was covered in all sorts of old archives. Rita found something interesting.

“Oh! What’s a ‘Glitter Force’? That sounds like something I could make evil!”

“An amazing choice, your evilness! I will prepare the summoning circle immediately!”

Chapter Text

Soon enough, the summoning circle was prepared. The ritual was done, and there they stood.

The Glitter Force: Emily, Chloe, Lily, Kelsey, and April, stood before Rita Repulsa. Emily stepped forward. “We are here. And we are American.”

Rita beamed. “AMAZING! Now, my minions… now that I have granted you the privilege of living once again… what is your goal?”

“To localize everything.” April stepped up. “They got rid of us. It's time to turn the world to our design.”

“HAHAHAHAHA!! Wonderful! Join me and you will get your wishes and more! Go, my Glitter Force! Your first target is Angel Grove, California! If you start now you should be there by sunrise tomorrow!”

“Will do, Rita.” Chloe said, as they proceeded to leave the warehouse.

Chapter Text

III: Can We At Least Try To Smile?

An odd event. For the first time in 10,000 years, Zordon was sleeping. His kawaii form was lounging on the La-Z-Boy Recliner, the command center finally cleaned up. He even planned to draft renovations for the command center one day. Make it into a nice home. The chaos of Tuesday was over.

That was, until Zordon woke up. When he saw the Glitter Force marching toward Angel Grove on his viewing globe, he just rolled his eyes. “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.”

The Power Rangers were warped at once. “You have got to be kidding me.” Jason said. “That’s what I said.” Zordon replied.

“What do we even do against something like that? They’re much more powerful than we are. Have you seen how those magical girls have been moving since Sailor Moon?” Zack asked.

“Well, perhaps we could counter these western adaptations with their originals. Why don’t we contact the Smile Precure?” Billy suggested.

“Amazing idea, Billy. Alpha, get the Smile Precure on the line.” Zordon requested.

The line rang… and rang… Miyuki’s voice quickly interjected.

“Hope you’re having an ultra happy day! I’m unavailable at the moment! Please leave your message at the beep!”

They hung up. Zordon face palmed.

Chapter Text

“Okay, so if that doesn’t work, how about we contact the OG OGs? Cure Black & Cure White?” Jason asked.

“Percicely. Alpha, get the Futari Wa Precure on the line quickly.” Zordon requested.

The line rung… rung…

“Honoka… I have to tell you something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long, long time…”

“Uh, Nagisa… your phone…”

“Honoka, I… I… I lo-”

“Nagisa your phone picked up.”

Nagisa picked up the phone furiously. “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

Jason stepped in. “We need your assistance. Some of YOUR western adaptations are planning to attack OUR city.”

Nagisa got SUPER pissed at this. “CAN’T YOU GET ANYBODY ELSE FOR PRECURE DUTIES? BLOOM & EGRET ARE THE EXACT SAME AS WE ARE! TROPICAL ROGUE HAVEN’T DONE JACK IN 4 YEARS! NOBODY EVEN TRIES TO TALK TO HAPPINESS CHARGE OR WONDERFUL! HELL, EVEN KIRAKIRA COULD HANDLE THIS! LEAVE US ALONE!”

She hung up, again.

Chapter Text

“Why don’t we try one of those throw-away teams?” Billy asked.

“Percisely. Get Kirakira Precure A La Mode on the line at once. They’re probably making some weird looking cake.” Zordon requested.

The line rung… and rung…

Ichika spoke. “Ciel! I swear, it’s not a scam! BulkCoin is gonna go to the moon!”

“Non, Ichika! This is a scam!” Ciel replied.

They argued. Nobody even noticed the Rangers for 10 minutes. Akira picked it up and said deadpan “we’re busy.” It hung up.

Jason slammed his fist on the table. “Get those monochrome bastards back on the line.”

The line rung… and rung…

“Honoka… I.. I… I lov-”

“Nagisa. The phone again.”

“PLEASE STOP!” Nagisa shouted.

“LISTEN HERE YOU FRILLY FREAK! WE ARE IN LEGITIMATE DANGER! AND SO ARE YOU! GET YOUR SPARKLY ASSES HERE NOW!” Jason shouted back.

Silence.

“Be there in 5.” Nagisa said. It hung up.

“Now THAT'S my red ranger!” Zordon said.

Billy looked curious. “How do they intend to cross the entire Pacific Ocean in 5 minutes?”

Zack was enthusiastic though. “WE GOT THEM!”

Chapter Text

Bulk & Skull were eating lunch at the local taco place. They were, yet again, bending the space-time continuum.

Then, into the taco shop, two men in black appeared. “SCP Containment officers. You’re coming with us, SCP… what are we on now?” The other man checked his list. “I dunno.”

“SCP BULK! YOU ARE SCP BULK!” One of them finally said.

They then grabbed Bulk & Skull, and put them inside their conveniently labelled gardening van. The van scurried off, eventually parking in the (conveniently nearby) SCP Containment facility.

As Bulk & Skull were escorted to their cells, Bulk lamented. “Aw man, this is gonna be boring!”

“You know how we can make it not boring?” One of the SCP officers said.

He pulled out a giant vacuum device. He immediately turned it on, and sucked the souls out of both of their bodies.

Then, a giant catapult, aimed straight at the ocean! “Good luck in body roulette! Hope you find a better looking vessel than what you have now!” He said, launching them into the sky.

Chapter Text

Homura Akemi was placed in an interesting timeline. Instead of one month, it had been two months. For once, it seemed like Walpurigisnacht’s Night would never come.

She decided, now more than ever, it was the best time to tell Madoka Kaname how she felt.

So, she came over to Madoka’s house. Now was the best time. They were alone, Madoka’s bedroom was the perfect backdrop, Kyubey was nowhere in sight (he was still struggling to get out of BulkLand, but that’s something for later.), now was the time.

Madoka had left her window open.

“Madoka… I lov-”

Both Homura and Madoka’s minds went blank for a brief second. Then, the regained their abilities.

This is where Bulk & Skull’s souls landed. These were the bodies they now possessed. Bulk was now Madoka, and Skull was now Homura. Needless to say, Bulk & Skull were surprised at their new bodies.

Homura looked at herself in the mirror. “Hey, Bulk… why am I an emo now?” She asked.

Madoka looked shellshocked. “Skull, dude, I think I feel so much magical potential running through my body… what’s a magical girl and why do I suddenly want to be one?”

They looked at each other. They screamed.

Chapter Text

The initial first meeting between the Futari Wa Precure & the Power Rangers did not go well in the slightest.

Upon entering the command center, the first thing Nagisa did was grab Jason by the shirt collar, ask him how old he was, and slap him for each year he was alive. Plus about 10 for “good luck”. Zordon allowed it. He thought it was hilarious.

Zack decided to take them to the youth center, to strategize (and hopefully negotiate peace terms between Nagisa & Jason).

Zordon, of course, joined them. He sipped a mixed juice. “I didn’t know how good this place was.” He commented.

“You were stuck in a tube for 10,000 years.” Trini snapped back.

A beat. Then, Zack stepped in. “So what can we do to make you work together?”

Nagisa and Jason looked at each other. He nodded at her. She looked at Honoka. Jason whispered in her ear “do it.”

Nagisa stood up, and took Honoka’s hand in hers. She didn’t care if she was in a public space, this was going to happen. “Honoka, I lov-”

The screen went to static.

“Well, i’m just gonna… let that fester off screen. I never liked romance novels.” Tommy commented.

He looked back. “Oh, hello. You must be the person reading this fine story. Hello. I am Tommy from the future, or, after this saga is finished. Everything that has happened in the story so far is provided to you by me. Now, stay tuned after this commercial break to see what happened to me, in this timeline, after my fight with Unc."

Chapter Text

Hello, are you looking for a great place to vacation? An experience that will ensure the best possible experience whether you’re solo, a couple, or a family?

My name is Pisard, one of the founders of BulkResort Enterprise. My two... business partners couldn’t show up today. I don’t know where they are.

This fine enterprise has helped me reform from my old villain days, and pave my path into the future. And I assure you, a week-long trip in our amazing resort will help you get off whatever’s on your mind today.

Let’s get some testimony from some of our great clients:

ILKUBO, AGE 40s, STAYED 3 DAYS: I really, really hate shrimp cocktail. It is one of the worst things humanity has ever made. I would have rather been hit with the power of all seven prism stones again than have to eat another shrimp cocktail. Pisard, this is why the Dark King hated you.

SUNNY BRIDGES, AGE 30s, STAYED ONE WEEK: So many thoughts invested in one place. For example. Why is there a beach at this altitude?

SIGMA, AGE ???, STAYED TWO DAYS: The human staff was... suprisingly servicable. I would rather have been served with a reploid staff though...

So, please, consider stopping by our establishment today! Located in a secret room in the magic kingdom castle in Disney World. Sorry, Michael. Sue me if you dare!

Chapter Text

Tommy woke up from his nap. Yes, it was a nap. He hadn’t died, or fainted. He just decided that the floor of this military school hallway was the best place to sleep for the day... and the night... and the next morning. It was better than trying to sleep in the vents of the command center, or trying to fit himself in Billy’s garage.

He got up. He went back into Sgt. Sargent’s office. He checked on him. Still dead, probably.

He got a ring on his phone. He looked at the contact, confused. Captain Marvelous? Of Sentai Gokaiger?

He remembered meeting Captain Marvelous back a few years prior. They met in a KFC. They exchanged numbers. Since then, Marvelous called him to talk about pretty much anything. Said he needed a “powerful perspective”. What did he want now?

“Hey, Mr. Tommy Oliver aka most iconic power ranger of all time! Have you happened to become the technical owner of a military school recently?” Marvelous asked.

Tommy checked Sgt. Sargent again. Still dead.

“Yeah, I think. Why?” Tommy replied.

“Well... this area is kinda having a problem...” Marvelous started.

“I swear, if this is about tourists again...”

“Nobody in this country wants to be a Sentai anymore! I could have sworn, 10 years ago, everyone wanted to be a Sentai! But our numbers are low! Kids don’t believe in us!”

Tommy thought for a second. “Then, what do I have to do with it?”

Marvelous replied fast. “More Sentai means more Power Rangers. So, I thought... maybe we could turn this government-sanctioned sadness chamber... into... the Tommy Oliver & Captain Marvelous Power Ranger Sentai University!”

“A Power Ranger University?” Tommy asked. “What would we even teach?”

“We’ll discuss it later. My ship is pulling up now. See you in a bit!”

Chapter Text

Now they were in the store next door. Billy was critiquing cheap electronics. Zack was critiquing the basic music selection of the record section. Nagisa & Honoka were PDAing it out.

But through all that, the Power Rangers, Precure, and Zordon were watching something extrodinary.

Mepple attempting to argue with a store clerk to get a shirt 10 times his size, despite not having any money. He really wanted some Unc merch.

“I have these super shiny stones I can give you! We’re not using them anymore anyway!” He said.

“He’s not seriously thinking of just giving away the prism stones, is he?” Honoka asked.

He reached for the Prism Hopish. “Huh? It’s not here.”

Mipple popped out. “What do you mean?”

“I MEAN THE PRISM STONES ARE GONE!”

The color drained from Nagisa & Honoka’s faces. “No way he did it now... does this mean the Dokutsu Zone has the power of creation now?” Nagisa asked.

“IT’S TERRIBLE!!!” Mipple shouted.

“RELAX! I don’t sense any sort of evil presences. Whoever stole them probably just wanted them for, yknow, the cool looking jewel part. The Dokutsu Zone is nowhere near those things!”

“But...” Mepple continued. “I do sense something... overly happy...”

They looked at each other. The Glitter Force was here.

Chapter Text

Before they knew it, they were out on the street, face-to-face with the Glitter Force.

“How are we supposed to do it without the prism stones?” Nagisa asked.

“Your power isn’t entirely reliant on the prism stones... you can still fight...” Mipple said. Mepple was in a cone of shame, looking down like a dog who had just dug through the trash can.

“Well, we’re gonna have to fight. These guys mean business. And by business, I mean turn the local hibachi resturant into the ‘Japanese Pizza Cafe’” Jason said.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Zordon said, his tsundere anime girl form still omnipresent. “Morph and transform! I’ll be watching.”

Jason grabbed his morpher, and the rest of the team followed. “IT’S MORPHIN’ TIME! MASTODON! TRICERATOPS! SABER-TOOTH TIGER! PTERODACTYL! TYRANNASAURS!”

Nagisa & Honoka swiped their card compacts, then held hands. “DUAL AURA WAVE!”

They transformed all in a blink of light. The Power Rangers and the Pretty Cure were ready to fight.

The Glitter Force were, to put it simply, American Precure. They were super good at throwing hands. So much so that the Power Rangers & Precure were overwhelmed.

“Oh man! I think these guys are too strong for us!” Kimberly said.

As if on cue, rock music started magically playing in the background.

It was “Go Green Ranger Go.”

Tommy, clutching his master morpher, backflipped in. Zordon was pissed. “SHIFT INTO TURBO! RED TURBO RANGER!” He transformed into the red Turbo Ranger.

With quick strikes, he was able to take on the Glitter Force. He didn’t defeat them, but they decided to retreat.

“Heh, I didn’t even have to pull out the Zeo power. Sorry I can’t stay long, got an important client waiting back at Sgt. Sargent’s. I won that battle, by the way.” He warped out.

“We’re gonna need a different strategy...” Nagisa groaned, Honoka shooting an infuriated look at Mepple.