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Reaper's eyes opened slowly, and he was immediately aware of his limbs.
"How are you feeling, Gabriel?" Dr. Ziegler's head popped into his vision, blocking out the blinding white ceiling lights.
No one called him that any more. Reaper squinted a little, his eyes adjusting. A steady beeping pierced his temples, and he reached up to rub them with his palms. Shackles clanked around his wrists.
Reaper jolted upwards bellowing, his head snapping back as his chest met with leather restraints. He focused, trying to dissolve his body, and was panicked when he found that he couldn't. "Fuck! I'm going to kill you! Let me go!"
Dr. Ziegler regarded him with a calm, disapproving look, pulling a syringe out of her coat pocket. A pinch in the neck, and then blackness.
-
He awoke again, groggier this time. The weight of his body was unbearable. Hushed arguing voices, a man's and a woman's, floated increasingly more clearly around him.
"He's awake, Angela."
"Ah." Her heels clacked on the floor, and Reaper was met again with the doctor's gentle gaze. "Easy, Gabriel. I apologize, but we had to sedate you. Do you remember what happened?"
That name again. Reaper's tongue felt like heavy rubber in his throat, and he fruitlessly tried to struggle. "Let me go," He managed weakly.
"You're not going anywhere until you calm the hell down, so shut up and think." The man's voice growled.
"Language." Dr. Ziegler warned.
"Jesus, we're all adults."
"John, please, he is a patient."
"I can't believe you're keeping him alive. He's a terrorist, Angela!"
"And I am a doctor."
John. Jack. A memory twitched like a fishbone in his throat.
"I..." The two abruptly stopped bickering as Reaper began to speak, his croaking voice sounding strange, still too clear. "They were ready. They had an airborne weapon."
His body burned as his volatile cells mixed with the toxic gas, dying and regenerating more rapidly than he ever had. It always hurt, that was true, but now it was like his skin and muscle were turning to fire and being extinguished over and over, like a flaying, full-body scabs being ripped off and raw flesh incinerated...
"Gibraltar... Winston was there. Reforming Overwatch."
He was a black amorphous cloud, keeping shape only for the full body suit as everything formed and reformed. His metal claws scrabbled against metal, alternating wet and hard sounds ringing out as he slammed his fists on the door, a bag of blood and a bag of meat.
Reaper slumped against the hospital bed, exhausted. Even after years, the world still found a way to torture me. He heaved out a shuddering breath.
Breath.
"I'm leaving. I can't fucking take this. Maybe you don't care anymore, but I do." Reaper could hear the echo of stomping boots. "And you should."
The room filled up with a drowning silence.
"Leave me, Doctor. It still hurts."
A flicker of guilt passed over Angela's eyes. She tapped a new IV bag and hooked it up. "As you say."
Reaper could feel the cool rush of painkillers in his veins. It was soothing, a sensation he had nearly forgot existed. His eyelids felt heavy as his body grew warm with relief, the unfamiliar ache of flesh and bone melting away.
"Gabriel, do you remember everything? Do you remember... us?" Her voice sounded far away.
"Yeah. Dr. Ziegler." He paused. "And Jack."
-
"John, he asked for you again today."
"Tell him to fuck off."
"John, please..."
"Don't use me to fix your regret." Jack immediately regretted it as Angela wilted in front of him. His voice softened and he looked away. "He tried to kill me, Angela. He sabotaged Overwatch."
Angela took a deep breath to steady herself. Tensions in their team had run high ever since Gabriel returned to them. She'd even seen Lena walking in the corridors. It wasn't fair of her to tell John to let it go- especially as some of the team's encounters had been more recent than others- but she truly believed Gabriel had gone back to his old self.
And John wasn't wrong about the regrets.
"I think you should talk to him. He said he would wear the restraints if you wanted."
Jack's brow wrinkled at that. "I'm not afraid of him hurting me. I just don't want to see him."
"Please, just once. He is changed. I promise I will not ask again."
Jack sighed with unmasked exasperation. "Fine." He pushed past Angela and began stalking towards the infirmary, muttering curses under his breath. The door looked more imposing than it had any right to.
It felt like going to war. And if he knew Reaper, it wasn't going to be pretty.
Reaper was lying in the hospital bed, head turned away from the door. A blanket was wrapped around his waist. The light blue gown looked too bright against his scarred skin. Gabriel Reyes.
It was like seeing a ghost.
Gabriel turned to look at him, eyes widening slightly as he saw Jack in the doorway. Now that the moment had finally come, he was lost for words. Truth be told, he never actually expected Jack to show up at all.
"Jack." He breathed.
"Don't you fucking dare call me that." Jack spat out. He dragged the metal stool out, the screech of its legs on the floor shooting through Reaper's head. Reaper winced. Good. "You have five minutes. What the hell did you want."
"Can't I drop in to see an old friend?" Gabriel smiled crookedly. A vein popped in Jack's forehead, the only part of his face he could see. When had it gotten so wrinkled?
"If you've got nothing to say, I'm leaving."
Gabriel's hand shot out, closing around Jack's wrist. Jack reflexively turned on him, and Reaper saw stars from the floor as his breath fled his body. He hacked and coughed, his face pounding with pain against the floor, Jack's knee in the small of his back with his hands pinned behind it.
Jack snorted with disgust and stood up. "Don't touch me." He hissed.
His nose was bleeding for sure. Warm liquid pooled around his face. The metallic smell was comforting in a way. Reaper choked out a barking laugh and rolled onto his back. Blood smudged all over his bare back and his gown. With Jack looking down his nose at him, it all felt so fucking familiar.
"Goodbye, Reaper."
Gabriel grabbed Jack's ankle only to get kicked in the face, the blood dripping even faster down his cheeks. He couldn't stop snickering. After all his years of suffering from just his body, having someone else hurt him was... refreshing. He kept clinging on until he couldn't any more, lying facedown on bruises. "Get... it... all... out?"
"Jesus, you never know when to shut up." Jack growled. Angela was going to be so pissed at him, but it did feel good.
"Guess not." Gabriel smiled bitterly through torn lips. He turned onto his shoulder, wincing. "I'm glad to see you again, Jack. Really. I always wanted to apologize-"
"Fuck you."
Anger flared up in his chest. "I get it, Jack, okay? I was young, we both know I'm fucking petty, and I was in fucking pain all the time from the- the--- abomination she made me into! If you'd just listen for fucking once-"
"No. Fuck your excuses, Reaper. I knew this was gonna be a shitshow. I did this for Angela. She's been working all these years because she felt so guilty. You should be fucking grateful for even being an 'abomination.' She tried so hard to save you, even though she was the only one who wanted you alive!" He was screaming now. Jack's boot came down hard on Reaper's throat, causing him to wheeze and cough violently. Roaring he ground the toe in, Reaper weakly trying to repel him.
Angela burst in at that moment, her eyes wide with fear. "John, stop!" She grabbed him by the waist, using all her weight to pull him back. Gabriel rolled over, forehead pressed into the floor as he gasped for air.
Jack snatched his arms back. He tore off his mask to spit loudly onto Reaper and stomped out of the room.
"Gabriel, I am so sorry, I did not think for a moment he would become violent--"
"It's fine, Dr. Ziegler." His voice deflated. "I deserve it."
"That is not true..."
"I don't need that kind of pity. You know damn well it's my fault he's like this."
Angela couldn't respond. She slung Gabriel's arm around her shoulder to help him back into the bed, then turned to dig around for medical supplies.
"Thanks, Doc." Gabriel said softly as Dr. Ziegler began to patch him up. He was an absolute mess. "For everything."
She shook her head. "I failed you the first time."
Jack's words rang in his ears. "No. You're... you're a good doctor."
Dr. Ziegler looked like she would cry.
-
"Don't you dare do this to me-"
"I--- Damn it all, you nearly killed him!" Angela seemed more fazed by her swearing than Jack did.
"I guess that makes us even!"
"Please do not be this way. You cannot tell me you don't think he's changed..."
"I get it, but there's no point in waiting for Gabe to come back to us! Jesus fuck, he's gone, Reaper's just waiting for his moment to strike-"
"Did he fight you, John? I only saw one person in that room with bruises and cuts, being choked. Under someone's foot."
Jack went silent.
"It is-- irresponsible of me to let you back in there. Understand that. But he asked."
"He's an idiot."
"You always thought so." Angela smiled at him. John just grunted sheepishly in response, averting his eyes and crossing his arms. "Please, just try again. He has had days to reflect on the past."
"You said you wouldn't ask again." Jack grumbled.
"I recall asking you to talk to him, not to put him back on an IV."
Angela had a Ph. D. She was too quick for him. Jack relented. "... and what if we do end up fighting again?"
She looked him square in the eyes. "I trust you, John."
Jack threw his hands up in the air. Angela knew him too damn well.
-
A knock came from the door. "Gabriel? John is here to see you." Dr. Ziegler walked in with Jack in tow. He didn't look happy. She nudged him forward, giving him a stern look. "Behave."
The door slid shut. An awkward silence fell between them. "You look terrible."
"No thanks to you."
Jack rolled his eyes, but sat down. His gaze bored into Gabriel's, daring him to speak.
After a few minutes, Gabriel cleared his throat. "You can put the restraints on. Did Dr. Ziegler tell you?"
Jack looked disgusted at that.
"I was serious."
Now he looked bored. He began picking at his nails.
"Say something."
"I'm only here because you asked to talk to me."
"I don't know. I think you killed half my brain cells last time."
"Only one left, then."
This was going nowhere. Gabriel almost preferred getting the shit kicked out of him. He sat back, studying Jack's naked face. He still remembered gentle, blonde Jack, still saw his brilliant smile in Soldier: 76's timeworn, hardened frown.
His pride had been shattered such a long time ago. He suddenly aware of just how weary he was, now. The lack of pain at his every movement softened him, brought him back to the man he thought he'd lost.
"Jack." The man's brow twitched at the unwanted use of his name. "I have no excuses. I'm sorry."
Jack let out a labored sigh. "You done?"
Gabriel frowned. He wanted to grab Jack's face and make him look at him, but he knew what would happen if he tried. "No. Can't we go back? To how we were?"
"We're too damn old for this, Reaper. It's too late."
It felt to Gabriel like he had fallen into a time machine, where he watched himself grow cruel but it wasn't him. He remembered their days as teammates so clearly now, and all his feelings had come flooding back. He was possessed with a regret like a ghost, for not being stronger or more mature. For losing care for himself that led to him getting captured and tortured. For losing care for the organization he helped build from the ground, and selling them out. For Dr. Ziegler bringing him back as a vengeful shadow of himself, out of her faith in him, of not wanting to lose him. And now the person he once was was back, craving more normality.
"Can you call me 'Gabriel' again at least?"
Jack snorted. "Gabriel Reyes is dead to me."
That one hurt, but hearing Jack say his name out loud made him a little happy. He'd take it as a small victory. He was so tired, tired of being Reaper, of letting his hatred consume him.
"You were a better commander than my punk ass ever would've been."
Jack's head snapped up, jaw clenched. "Why the hell did you care so much about that?"
"My job was everything to me."
"Clearly." Jack scoffed, looking down at his nails again. He felt a small tinge of pain in his heart to hear what he'd known for years.
"It's true," Gabriel screwed up his mouth and placed his face in his hands. "I cared too much about myself."
"Got that right."
"Can't I make it up to you?" He placed an unsure hand on Jack's thigh, which flinched away like it had been touched with a hot poker.
"You're being so fucking sappy." Jack narrowed his eyes. "What could you possibly do? I told you, it's too late. You should be happy enough that I don't gun you down now."
"C'mon..."
"Like I can forgive you. You," Jack gulped. He was making a mistake by letting himself be vulnerable, he knew. But everything had been bottled up for so long, and now that Reyes was in front of him again, he couldn't stop the words from tumbling out. He shoved his mask back on hastily to hide his expression. "You took advantage of my feelings. God, I let myself think..."
Gabriel felt guilty at the long-suffering pain in his voice, even through his visor's distortion. It was true. He couldn't even remember or count the number of times had he coaxed Jack to use his position to get his way. He had used him, and he could only see now that it hadn't been worth it.
"It'll be different this time."
"I'm not gonna let you make me regret this again."
"It'll be different." Gabriel insisted.
Jack was too weak. He looked up.
Leaning forward, Gabriel stroked the metal of Jack's mask and then pressed down to remove it. It let out a soft sigh as it fell away to reveal Jack's reddening face, brow knitted over quickly averted eyes, and he tossed it aside on the bed. That huge scar Gabriel had given him burned in front of him. Gently reaching behind Jack's neck with one hand, he deliberately laid a kiss on his forehead where the scar began.
"Why do I keep letting you do this to me?" Jack looked at him desperately, his gaze as innocent as when he was young. Gabriel was filled with bittersweet regret.
"It'll be different. I promise, it'll be different this time." He repeated again and again like a mantra, like a prayer, thumbing Jack's sagging cheeks, feeling the rough stubble where his skin was once so smooth. They had gotten so old. There were bags under Jack's eyes from the years wearing him down, wrinkles running along his forehead like dusty ravines, and he kissed along them as if to heal them, to bridge the canyon he'd left between them.
Gabriel grasped Jack's chin in his fingers, feeling the strong jaw he hadn't realized he'd missed. With a look he leaned in, his heart pounding as Jack's eyelids fluttered closed helplessly. Their teeth clicked together, their noses mashed against each other, and it was all too nostalgic.
He slid his hand down to rub his back, and Jack let out a shuddering breath at the touch. His body was softer than he remembered, even through his trademark thick leather jacket. Gabriel's hand wandered down further to the small of his back, gently pushing him closer. Jack tasted mildly of tobacco now but under it was that familiar sweetness. Gabriel's tongue probed carefully, more deeply into his mouth, and Jack couldn't help but moan softly.
Jack jerked up to his feet in resistance, and Gabriel released him. Jack deserved gentleness, had always deserved gentleness, and he finally had the clarity of mind to give it. His mouth hung open and he was panting slightly, looking angry and flustered with his eyes flicking back and forth wildly. "This always fucking happens. You always do this."
"Not this time. It's not a trick. I'll show you, I promise, god, Jack, just let me show you." He pleaded. He didn't want Jack to run. He'd let him go, stupidly, before. "God, I don't want anything, I just want to be with you again."
It sent a thrill up Jack's spine. He was so goddamn weak. With both fists he grabbed the front of the other man's hospital gown. "This is the last fucking time. You betray me, and I'm going to fucking kill you for real." He growled, but his threat was tinted with fear. With that he slammed his lips into Reyes', foreheads bumping painfully in the process. He'd reopened the wounds from a few days ago for sure. He nipped at his mouth fiercely, rough scabs scratching across his tongue as he went.
They both started growing dizzy from breathing each other's air. Jack pushed himself away from Reyes, stumbling back to sit on the stool. He tore his eyes away, staring into his lap.
"You suck at kissing now."
"It's been a long time, okay?" He shot back.
"What, were you waiting all these years for me?" Gabriel teased. The decades-old ache in his heart was gently starting to subside. He pulled Jack in, his back seeming so much smaller than it used to be.
"Maybe I should just kick your ass again, Reyes." Jack's grumpy voice came muffled against his shoulder.
"Love you too." He was determined to say it enough this time. It wasn't too late. He nuzzled into Jack's hair, taking the familiar, nostalgic scent in deeply. "I love you, Jack."