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A Dummy's Guide To First Time Parenting by caumad
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
01 Sep 2025
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Summary
Chuuya’s head snapped towards the door just as it swung open to reveal Dazai Osamu himself. His hair was slightly damp from the summer rain, his shirt clinging wetly to the broad expanse of his shoulders, but clutched to his chest, almost miraculously dry in the face of it all, was a small bundle of pink blankets.
Blankets that, on closer inspection, seemed to be grabbing right back onto him, a handful of the brunette's damp dress shirt fabric clenched in an equally pink little fist.
“Hi, honey, I’m home!”
“That’s a baby.” Chuuya sputtered.
“Nope. It’s actually a teeny tiny elephant. Can’t you tell? Look at her trunk.” He tapped the infant’s nose for good measure, and given the fact she didn’t spontaneously disappear, there went any and all of Chuuya’s hope that this was just some Ability created illusion.
“But what are you doing with a baby? What happened to the meeting you were supposed to go to? Did you find anything out about our mission?”
“Ohh, right. I almost forgot. Chibi, meet the mission.”
OR
After escaping Meursault, Dazai and Chuuya are assigned a new mission in the form of a 6 month old baby. They decide it's in the mission's best interest to move in together.