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Sam decided that today is the perfect day to talk to Dean.
They have defeated Chuck, Jack took over, Cas is back from the Empty and the Winchester brothers are really taking a pause from hunting.
They are on vacation, a long one.
To rest and to figure out what they are gonna do with their lives.
&&&
Dean’s alarm clock goes off.
He seats up, Miracle walks to up the side of his bed, waggling his tail:” Morning to you too, boy.” He gives him a good scratch behind the ear.
Then Dean turns to his left, where his beautiful angel is laying, still asleep:” Good morning, darlin’” He lowers down, kissing him on the head.
Cas slowly opens his eyes:” Good morning Dean.” He sits up, to give Dean a proper kiss, still his eyes are only half open.
Dean smiles:” You should go back to sleep.” Dean says.
Cas doesn’t need to sleep, he is back at been a full angel and his Grace at full force, but he enjoys sleeping a lot.
“Then stay.” Cas leans over, putting his head in the crook of Dean neck:” I need to take Miracle out on a walk.” Cas grumbles:” Let Sam do it.”
Dean giggles, he never thought that he would have ever see Cas get clingy like this.
He feels like the luckiest man alive to witness it.
“Miracle doesn’t like the running with Sam.” Miracle isn’t exactly a young dog, from what Cas says, he is eight years old. And he isn’t an athletic one either.
“Look.” Dean makes Cas stand a bit straight, so he can look at him in the eyes:” I will go out with Miracle. I will buy you the grape jelly you finished yesterday, and I will come back with breakfast in bed and me at your complete disposal.” Dean has his usual flirty glint in the eyes, hoping for a good time.
Cas fakes pondering over the proposition:”Mmmh… Alright.” He smiles:” But be fast.” Dean smiles:” As lighting.”
Dean gives Cas one last kiss, before getting up.
&&&
Dean arrives in the kitchen.
Miracle goes to his bowls, already filled by Sam, to have his breakfast.
Sam is also having breakfast after his morning run:” ‘Morning, Sammy.” Dean takes a cup of coffee:” Hey…”
Sam clearly has something on his mind, but Dean doesn’t insists, if it’s something that concerns him, he will tell him.
“I am gonna go out for a walk with Miracle.” Dean is ready to go but Sam’s stops him:” Wait! Can we-uhm- talk? Before you go.”
Dean looks at his brother a moment, by reading his expression, Sam seems nervous.
“Is Eileen pregnant?”
“What?! No!” Sam shouts:” Why would you ask that?” “Dude, you are acting weird and nervous! What should I think?”
“What you is so urgent you want to talk about and chick-flick over?” Dean seats down in front of his brother, at this point they are going to talk.
“Nothing of actually urgent or bad… I just want to talk about you and Cas.”
Dean looks confused, raising an eyebrow:” What about us?”
“Look. I am gonna be as direct a possible.” Sam takes a deep breath:” You need to take your head out of your ass and talk. Both of you need to.”
“About?” Dean is still not getting where this conversation is going.
“Come on, man!” Sam exclaims:” About how you are head over heels for each other!”
Sam starts to ramble:” For the last ten years of our lives I have seen you two dance around this so much! At this point is a whole ass choreography!”
“I always left it alone because our lives were much more complicated. Cas and you both were too preoccupied with an apocalypses, or one of you was dead. We didn’t have time for normal stuff.”
“But now. We are fine! There isn’t any big bad looming over us and, with Jack taking over, stuff is going back into order.”
“I was hoping you two will get over it. We got Cas back almost… 10 months ago! And you two still haven’t talked about it.”
“So I am taking action.”
Sam finishes his speech.
He was expecting Dean to put up wall, telling him to fuck off or deflect somehow, instead Dean starts to laugh loudly.
Dean’s laughing annoys him so much, especially after he let out ten years of frustration created by him and Cas: “Why are you laughing?” Sam asks not understanding.
“Sam-Sammy. Please tell me what you think you know.” Dean still haven’t stopped laughing, just smirking and struggling to keep calm enough to listen to his brother.
Sam is so shocked that he stumbles on his words:” I-you- I be-”
Dean takes pity over him and helps him out:” You believe that Cas and I have been pining over each other for whole time together?” “Exactly!”
Dean laughs again, Sam has enough and decide to resume his speech:” Dean can we talk seriously a moment?” He is starting to loose his cool.
He expected Dean’s reaction to be a bit frustraiting, but not like this!
“I know you are so far in the closet that you found fucking Narnia!” Sam exclaims:” But we all know you are bisexual and it’s fine-” “I am in the what??” Dean interrupts him.
“In the closet?” Sam ask, to get clarification:” What the fuck does that mean???”
Sam squints to Dean, trying to understand if he is fucking with him:” It means when a person hides their sexuality, in this case I am referring to you been both into men and women.”
“Oh right.” Dean doesn’t really know much about the LGBT community, apart from the basic stuff.
He never really got time to look in human-centric political or sociological issues, especially since he was already so involved with Heaven and Hell’s politics (more than he liked to)
He did talk with Charlie about this stuff, she did tried to update him on a few things but nothing really sticked.
She probably told him what “being in the closet” means, but he must have forgotten it.
He knows he is technically bisexual, but he really doesn’t care for that type of label. He will be happy to pass a good time with whoever feels interesting to him.
And does it still count as been bisexual when you partner is actually a wave of light, impossible to look at or process, stuffed in the meat suit of guy who died a decade ago? Doesn’t seem so important in the create scheme of things.
“I am not hiding anything though.”
“What?” Sam looks stunned.
“Yeah dude! You know that I don’t care about that stuff.” By Sam’s expression, he isn’t getting it.
“Sam I pretty sure you have seen me flirt with guys at the pubs and you have closed enough porn tabs on you laptop to know what I am into.” Dean deadpans, he is starting to worry that Sam got some very serious brain damage after years of hunting and getting hurt.
“I was being polite about the porn! And I saw you looking at guys weird, just thought it was a you thing!” Sam exclaims, is view of reality is being shattered into pieces.
“And you are the smart one.” Dean says sarcastic:” Then I guess this is my “coming out of the closet” to you.”
“Sam I play for both teams. I am into chicks and dudes!” He says moving his hands around has in saying ‘surprise’
Sam stays silence, clearly going over his whole life.
Dean decides to leave him to it:” Alright gonna take out Miracle.” He is about to leave but Sam stops him once more:” Wait!” Dean sighs, starting to find Sam’s charade boring:” What now?”
“Can we like… Talk about this a moment?” Dean raises an eyebrow:” What there is to talk about?”
“I just need to contextualize some stuff. Please.” Dean gives up and seats back down:” Alright. But let’s be quick.”
“So… How long have you known?” Dean rolls his eyes, still he humors Sam since it seems like he is going through a crisis:” Probably since I was like… sixteen years old? Around that time.”
“And... there has been many guys?” Dean shrugs:” Depends in which way you mean.”
“Like hookups or boyfriends. Anyone that was more than a friend.”
“Ah. Well… hookups plenty! Less than women probably… But it’s not like we were often in gay bars.” The kind of pubs they went mostly for work weren’t the most friendly for folks like him.
“And like actual relationship?” Sam asks, his tone careful since relationship are a sore spot for him:” Some. Lee and I tried for a while but we decided it was best to keep it casual.” Honestly, Lee wasn’t in a good mental space and not ready for a serious relationship, especially after the cult case.
“There were few others. But you never met them… Or if you did, you didn’t know.” Dean is still shock that is super smart brother, who has been attached to his hip for their whole lives, didn’t realize he was out and proud.
“And dad…” This question Dean was expecting:”… was fine with it?”
Dean ponders a moment, thinking about how to explain it:” Dad…” It’s never easy to talk anything about John Winchester:” Dad never was the most open minded person.”
“But at least on this he wasn’t a complete ass.” He was more the type to just didn’t care about anything, apart from hunting and revenge.
“We did talk about it only once, and he just gave some rules…” Dean remembers he was very scared of that conversation, he expect to be disowned after John walked in on him and the guy he was hooking out for the night.
Instead his father only give him three rules:” Don’t get any disease. Don’t do it in our motel room. Don’t get anyone pregnant.” He just realized that those rules where for both men and women.
“As long as I could hunt and take care of you, I could fuck anyone I wanted.”
Sam nods, deep in his thoughts, probably going over what he knew of their father.
The conversation became a bit too heavy after this, so Dean decided to light up things:” Anyway. You meet a few guys I got with.” Sam interests is peaked:” Who?”
Dean smirks devilish:” Guess.” Sam groans:” Come on!” Dean doesn’t budge.
Sam decides to takes the obvious one out the way:” Benny?” Dean nods:” Never nothing serious though, he still loved his wife too much.” And Dean himself was tearing through Purgatory to find Cas:” But it can get pretty lonely a year in Purgatory.”
Sam makes a grossed out face:” Too many information.” Dean smirks:” You are the one who wants to know about this.”
Sam continues to guess:” Crowley?” Dean nods.
“I am not really surprised.” Sam has suspected that there was something more between the two, especially in the period that Dean was a demon.
Also, he believes that Crowley liked Castiel and Dean more than the King liked to admit, but he is gonna keep that detail to himself.
Dean doesn’t like to talk about his situation-ship with Crowley.
Like every other type of relationship in his life it was complex and messy, but this one was also extremely toxic.
Dean knows it was because he himself was a demon, a very cruel one and, while Crowley wasn’t better, in that period he was also more vulnerable (at least as much as the King of Hell could be)
He never was the same after Sam tried to cure him, he became a little less demon and more human.
Also, demon or not, Crowley had a number of issues and red flag that don’t mix well with Dean’s, equally as messy, personality.
Even if Dean knows Crowley was sincere in his feelings, and Dean was as well, more than he will ever be willing to admit, things would had never worked between them, even if they were humans.
Dean decides to move on from thinking about that chapter of his life:” You are only missing one.”
Sam thinks a moment, but nobody in particular comes to mind.
“I have no idea.” Dean grins a bit to wildly:” This one is impossible to guess.”
Sam is both very curious and very scared:” Who?”
“Garth.”
The confession hangs a moment in the air, just enough time for Sam’s brain to catch up:” Garth?!” Dean nods, he looks even a bit proud of the reaction he got.
“Yup.” Sam stares at him in absolute shock:” How? When? Wha-” Dean is very amused.
“It was obliviously before he got turned and met Bess.” Dean specifies, before Sam has any strange idea:” I was traveling alone, don’t remember why but I wasn’t on a job.”
“Met him in a pub, we talked, drank something together.” Well Dean drank a beer, obviously Garth didn’t, and Dean remembers insisting that he didn’t.
“We caught up, talked a lot and then we ended up in the backseat of the Impala.”
Dean did have a lot of good one night stands, but Garth was for sure in top ten.
“It was a one time thing, it was a clear deal between us.” Dean says:” But… damn. Bess is one lucky lady.”
If Sam looked grossed out before, now is absolutely green:” Alright! I get it! Now shut up!”
Dean laughs and gets up:” I repeat: you asked!” Miracle as waited enough:” If you want to talk more, we are going to do it outside.”
Sam downs his coffee quickly and follows him.
&&&
After a brief walk outside the entrance of the bunker, to give Miracle the time to his things, the three of them get in the Impala and drive into town, to the grocery store.
Dean main objective was to buy the grape jelly, Sam stocked on a few other things that they needed.
“Come on boy.” Dean opens the backdoor of the Impala and Miracle jumps in, Sam puts away the bags in the trunk.
“So what about you and Cas?” Sam asks as they get in the car:” What about us?”
“It was my original question.” Sam reminds him:” Did you guys actually… like anything over the years? Or you really never talked about your… everything.”
“We are fine.” Dean says:” Since you are so concerned. Cas and I are fine, yes we talked.” Sam doesn’t know about Cas’ confession before the Empty, but he doesn’t need to, Dean was a mess anyway.
“So you to are… like together together?” Dean scoffs:” Why you talk like a middle-schooler? Yes! We are together together.”
Sam still has questions:” Is that a recent development or?” But Dean is tired of all these questions.
“Look. Cas and I had a very complex relationship, before now at least.”
That is one way to put it.
“There were various… moments through the years but we never really could do anything.”
“Now we are together, but honestly with him it doesn’t matter.” Dean just wants to have Cas in his life forever, as partners or friends, doesn’t matter:” He is just Cas, that is enough.”
Sam nods, understanding:” Good. I happy for you.”
They finally go back home.
Dean finally prepares Cas a breakfast in bed.
When he got in the room, the angel was still deeply asleep.
Dean smiles, places the breakfast on his desk a moment to turn on the bedside lamp.
The light disturbs Cas, who makes a sounds of annoyance as he wakes up:” Dean?” He says, voice groggy:” Good morning, my darlin’” He leans down, giving Cas a light kiss on the forehead:” Brought you coffee and PB&J.” Cas smiles sweetly, making Dean’s day even brighter.