Work Text:
“I think I’m gonna be sick”
Immediately Emily's heart started racing. She forced herself to remain composed though her hands were shaking as she held Linda’s hair back and comforted her.
The rest of the interview went relatively smoothly though Emily was on high alert the whole time just in case the girl was sick again
By the time she left the room she was shaking slightly. The team was busy bustling around informing police officers of what to do and going out with the teams of sniffer dogs.
It was easy for Emily to slip away to the bathroom. She splashed water over her face at the sink trying to ground herself and calm herself down.
“Emily?”
Emily turned to see JJ standing at the door. A worried expression on her face.
“Are you okay?” JJ’s voice was soft, worried.
“I-I’m fine. It’s stupid anyway, don't worry about it.” Emily said, wiping the water off her face with her sleeve.
“Emily, you're shaking. How stupid can it be? Come on Em, tell me.”
Emily swallowed, words tumbling out in a rush. “We moved around a lot as a kid, ‘cause of my mum’s postings. When I was seven, we moved somewhere in the Middle East. I don’t remember which country—we didn’t stay long, and I was too young to remember properly. But I do remember getting sick while we were there… and my mum refused to take time off work, she said that time off ruined her image. She told me not to bother her while she was at work, not to call her on the home phone. By mid-afternoon, I was… I was sick, and I just… I had to sit in it. I was- am autistic, so I didn’t really know how to handle that, and I struggled to get changed when I was that age so I just had to sit in my dirty clothes and wait. When my mum came home, she didn’t even check on me—she went straight to bed. She didn’t find me until morning when she came to get me for school, and… and she yelled at me for not helping myself even though I couldn’t. Ever since then… I’ve been petrified of sick. So when Linda was sick, I just… panicked internally. I know it’s… stupid, Jayje, but it sort of brought me back to being that helpless little kid.”
JJ stepped in from the doorway a bit still giving Emily space but being close enough that if Emily needed her she was there. “It’s not stupid Em. With what your mom put you through it makes perfect sense that seeing someone sick would trigger that. You were a kid Emily and a disabled one at that so no matter what your mum said it wasn’t your responsibility, it was hers. It’s not your fault that she’s a shit parent. And despite being scared you still managed to comfort Linda, you still put her and the case above yourself despite how scared you were, I’m proud of you Em.
“Yeah?” Emily asked the fact that her voice was wavering adding a certain vulnerability to her tone.
“Yes of course. Always.”
Emily leant forward, pressing her forehead into JJ’s shoulder. In response JJ wrapped her arms around the shorter woman. And for a while that was enough.