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Chapter Text

When the night came, the performance began. 

In the middle of the quietness, only the sound of the piano resounded. The opening act was melodious and gentle, like a whisper, an invitation to a dreamland. Entering deeper into that land, the piano gradually changed its rhythm. It gradually transformed into a more violent and chaotic sound, as if a throbbing heart could not speak, could only express itself through the keys. It was intemse as each rolling wave. But the magical beauty of this vast ocean overshadowed its ferocity. Like the song of the sirens, they had a strangely enchanting attraction, wanting to lure the sailors to explore themselves. And then when they went deeper, they were caught in a vortex with no way out. The piano sounds changed from strong to soft, and sometimes lingering, leaving echoes in the space. 

It was the same every day. When the night fell Lu Guang would come here, played music and enjoying his own space. He usually didn't follow the score, nor did he prepare anything. He simply let himself go with the flow of his mood, letting it completely guided his melody. Although completely improvised, the sounds from his were always smooth and wonderful that they can be considered works of art. It's just that no one had ever really paid attention to them. His audience had always been the night sky, the bright moonlight and the stars. That's all he needed. He just wanted something to express his feelings, to express his unspeakable emotions, without anyone needing to listen or understand. He only played music for himself. 

But perhaps, those melodies were always looking for a soulmate. 

From the bottom of his heart, that heart always longs for a kindred spirit. 

The performance gradually came to an end. The high and low sounds resounded continuously, echoing throughout the space. Not only the sound of the piano, but also the temperature, the breath, and the beat were all bursting forth. They all blended together, leading to a climax. For a moment, everything seemed to stand still, giving all the glory to this moment. A silence began to spread and cover. And then, the piano sounded again. The last notes, slow and gentle like the way it had begun. It ended with a long, round note, as if lingering, then stopped completely, returning the room to its original state. 

"Excellent. It’s really amazing." 

After a moment of silence, a burst of applause suddenly echoed throughout the room. Lu Guang turned around in surprise and saw someone standing at the entrance. Only then did he realize that he had not been alone in the room. Because of the distance and darkness, he could not see the person's face clearly, only a glimpse of a tall and slender figure. The other person was wearing a shirt similar to his school uniform, a long black coat, and a fedora. This appearance gave off a rather strange impression? An elegant demeanor, an overly formal way of dressing, even a bit fussy. On his hands were silver rings of various designs that were swinging with each clap, under the moonlight they were even more dazzling, giving off a mysterious and inexplicable feeling.

It seemed that Lu Guang knew this person.

“So what everyone said was true. There is a ghost in the school’s music room.”

There was a rumor about a strange phenomenon in the school recently.

Every late night, the room at the end of the corridor of Building B would emit a mysterious musical sound.

This rumor started when a student forgot something and went back to look for it, but as soon as she stepped onto the stairs, she heard a creepy sound and ran away. A group of male students heard this and were determined to find out what was going on. They sneaked into the school at night, going room by room to find the source of the sound. It led them to the school's music room. The creepy sound mentioned was actually the sound of a piano. It wasn't that scary, in fact it was quite nice. They looked into the room to see who was the owner of the piano sound, saw a blurry white shadow and were scared to death, scrambling to escape. From then on, the information about the haunted music room spread so much that it became an urban legend in the area. It was said that the entity would use the sound of the piano to lure its prey into a trap. Those who were curious and fell into the trap would have their souls sucked out of it, forever stuck on the piano keys. From then on, no one dared to go near that room at night.

No one, except Liu Xiao.

He was interested in this ghost, especially its piano sound. It seemed very confident in its abilities. He wanted to see what it looked like, listen to how good its music was. He had always been a freak, doing a few more strange things wouldn't be unusual, so no one bothered to stop him. The vague sounds rang out in the dark night, guiding the traveler into its land. The sound became more clearly when he got close to it, forming melodies. Just as people said, the music was exquisite, drawing people closer to it. As if hypnotized, Liu Xiao continued to walk towards, ignoring the hidden dangers that had been warned of before. He just kept walking, following the notes in the air. The sound grew louder, amplifying in his ears. Until he reached his destination, all that remained in Liu Xiao's mind was the faint sound of the music. This piece of music was so strange, he had never heard it before. Was this self-composed? Or was it improvised? He didn't know, and didn't care. He only knew that this was a very melodious and beautiful piece of music. Its tone was sometimes clear and soft like dew drops falling gently on the surface of a lake, sometimes fierce and intense like a long waterfall. It was not noisy, not ostentatious, just quietly entwined, pulling the listeners closer, then holding them tightly, keeping them there forever.

Liu Xiao was truly captivated by the soul.

But this still seemed to be not enough. The sound of the piano still wanted him to come closer. The temptation could not be resisted. Liu Xiao was not satisfied either. He wanted more, wanted to know who its owner was, wanted it to reach deeper, wanted it belong to him. Therefore, he accepted the call, opening the door to that land.

Once again, Liu Xiao was overwhelmed by the scene before his eyes.

A graceful figure sat before the piano under the silver moonlight. White, too white, and bright, to the point of being hazy. The moonlight poured a layer of night mist into the space, covering it with a faint layer of dew. But at the same time, it also illuminated the centerpiece, like a spotlight highlighting the star of the show. Liu Xiao couldn't see clearly, only vaguely seeing a white shadow. However, he could still make out a pair of slender hands constantly gliding over the piano keys. The scene before his eyes was as unreal as a painting, along with the lively sounds, leaving him stuck between reality and fantasy. But at this moment, he didn't care about that. Whether it was a human or a ghost didn't matter. It didn't matter if his soul was taken away. It was a price too worthy for what he was witnessing. He just wanted to enjoy it, to immerse himself in the masterpiece before his eyes. It was truly too perfect and satisfying. He couldn't remember the last time he had this feeling of excitement. Liu Xiao remained silent, continuing to watch the performance. Until the end, he was still absent-minded for a few seconds, feeling as if he had truly been captivated. But that creature still didn't make any moves, just sitting there. It seemed like it had no intention of harming him. Liu Xiao gradually regained his senses. He couldn't help but give it a round of applause for this wonderful performance. 

Hearing the noise, the figure began to move, turning around. It wasn't a ghost, but it didn't look like an ordinary person either. It had a face, a very delicate and beautiful face. A slender figure, straight back, giving an elegant vibe. Porcelain-white skin, without a single blemish. Everything was the characteristics of an ordinary human. Only that snow-white hair was different. Too strange and outstanding. No wonder the others were scared. But it was also very special and unmistakable. Liu Xiao could identify its identity. 

He walked closer to the figure step by step. It also slowly looked up at him. Only then did Lu Guang see the other person clearly. The shirt was unbuttoned, revealing a strange mark in the middle of the collarbone. Behind the glasses were deep violet pupils, along with a pair of moles at the corners of the eyes that were too attractive. Without a doubt, this was the person Lu Guang had thought of.

The person in front of him smiled kindly, spreading his hands in front of him.

“Ghostboy. Want to make music with me?”

Lu Guang’s face darkened.

“No. Get out.”

Calling him a ghost when they just met. There was nothing scarier than ghost to Lu Guang. That man came and watched people at night. He was more like a ghost than Lu Guang, yet he didn’t know to look at himself.

“Do you know who I am? How can you treat your senior like that? I’m serious about it.”

Because Lu Guang already knew who he was that he didn’t agree.

“You said I’m a ghost. Aren’t you afraid I’ll eat you?”

Liu Xiao laughed, not expecting the talented musician to have such a childish temperament.

“I was just joking. You’re not a ghost. How can a ghost be as gorgeous as you. So, beauty, make music with me, Lu Guang.”

It wasn’t much better.

This glib and eccentric guy, just like what people said about him. Liu Xiao was very popular in school, even Lu Guang was familiar with this name. He stood out from the crowd with his jewelry and the hat he always wore on his head, as if he wanted to attract all eyes to him. Everyone knew that he had a strange tattoo on his neck hidden under his uniform, there were rumors that it was related to an underground organization and that he had connections with the underworld. If you ignore the unusual things, Liu Xiao was actually a very outstanding person. He was good-looking, with a handsome face that was always smiling, exuding a mysterious but very attractive aura. His academic performance has always been excellent, his family background is not ordinary, and he is also a member of the student council, although there is information that he bribed his way into that position. His personality is not bad either. Basically, he is always gentle and kind to those around him. For those who first meet him, they will feel that he is completely opposite to the rumors about him. But most of them, after a while, gradually avoid him because of his weird personality. Such stories have been spread throughout the school for a long time. Until now, no one has been with him long enough and close enough to know Liu Xiao's true self.

Lu Guang absolutely should not get involved with such a person. He still firmly refused.

But Liu Xiao naturally would not let him go. He had just discovered a new prey, and it was especially interesting, how could he easily let it go.

From that day on, Liu Xiao had been clinging to him. As long as it wasn't during class, he would appear at Lu Guang's place, whether it was the library, the cafeteria, or even the rooftop - the secret place where he often went to take a nap. Every break time, he would appear in front of his class, following him everywhere like a tail. It seemed that Liu Xiao had studied him very carefully. He often bought him milk tea, and his lunch began to have more desserts. He knew that Lu Guang liked to read, so he often followed him to the library and watched him, sometimes discussing the content of the books with him. This annoying senior turned out to be very knowledgeable. Although he had heard of that before, Lu Guang didn't think he had such profound knowledge. Liu Xiao also knew that he liked playing chess, and often played with him. Just like that, the time they spent together increased day by day. Without knowing when, Lu Guang had gotten used to the purple-haired figure beside him. At school, it was no longer strange for the two of them to appear together. Many of his classmates often advised him to stay away from Liu Xiao, to limit his close relationship with him, it would not end well. But Lu Guang didn't really care. He knew that from the beginning, and thought that this whole thing would not work. He was a tough and stubborn person, and once he made up his mind, it was hard to change it. After a while, he would get bored and leave, Lu Guang thought. But Liu Xiao seemed to not hear all his rejections, and was more persistent than he thought. After a long time, he gradually got used to it. The two of them had a lot in common. The time spent with him was even very comfortable. Maybe it was because he was also a freak? But until now, Lu Guang still didn't see anything too strange about Liu Xiao, so he just let him continue to be by his side. 

If you think about that, Liu Xiao’s actions seemed more like flirting than asking a friend to make music, right?

In fact, he had always mentioned it to Lu Guang. In the middle of the conversation, he would occasionally interject, “Make music with me” or “Start a band with me”, as if he wanted to hypnotize or implant some kind of suggestion in his head. Lu Guang gradually formed a reflex, immediately replying “No” whenever that topic was brought up. But Liu Xiao still didn’t seem discouraged and had no intention of giving up. Lu Guang couldn’t help but ask.

“Why don’t you find someone who is interested, and keep following me. You know I will always say no.”

“Because I’m only interested in you. Besides, I know you like this too. You will have to agree some day.” Liu Xiao replied confidently.

One day, he suddenly appeared in front of Lu Guang's dormitory door. He must have bribed someone to get this information. From then on, not only at school, but Lu Guang's daily life also began to be disturbed. Almost every day, Liu Xiao would come and take him out somewhere. There were days when he went to the music room, and he would also be there, listening to the piano with great interest.

"This piano was gifted to the school by my family. You use it a lot but don’t know how to behave with me." Hearing the sarcasm, Lu Guang stood up in frustration and was about to leave. Liu Xiao had to quickly apologize and hold him back, afraid that he would really be angry and not play for him anymore. They especially frequented live houses or concerts. Lu Guang had said that he didn't like crowded places like this, but his opinion didn't affect Liu Xiao's decision. The first time he came here, amidst the bustling atmosphere, he turned around and whispered into the heated ear of the person next to him.

“What do you think? Do you want to stand up there with me?”

Lu Guang couldn’t answer. This overwhelmed him too much. The dazzling stage lights reflected in his eyes like stars. His heartbeat increased, and each stream of adrenaline flowed through his boiling blood. There was an indescribable feeling growing in his heart.

From then on, Lu Guang no longer refused Liu Xiao’s invitations.

Then one day, he actually agreed to his proposal.

That night, Liu Xiao pulled Lu Guang to the music room and asked him to play the song in the first time they met. This was a very strange and unreasonable request. He usually just sat far away and listened, and had never suggested a specific song. They had known each other for quite a long time, the number of times he had played was countless, and now he was asking him to play the first piece of music that had been around for who knows how long. Lu Guang was annoyed by this unreasonable request.

“I just play randomly. You say that suddenly, how could I remember?”

“I remember. It’s like this.”

Liu Xiao’s fingers slid across the piano keys. Lu Guang looked up at the person above him, unable to hide his surprise. They had known each other for so long but Liu Xiao had never told him that he also knew how to play the piano. Besides, wasn’t this distance a little too close? The young man with the hat leaned over Lu Guang’s shoulder, his broad chest pressed so close to his back that he could feel every heartbeat transmitted to his body. Lu Guang felt uncomfortable, trying to find another position, but when he turned around, he saw the other person’s face right next to him. From here, he could clearly see every detail, from the drooping eyelashes, the meticulously carved eyebrows, the straight high nose, the inviting thin lips, to the tear moles as drawn on the corners of the eyes. This appearance really couldn’t just be called “good-looking”. Lu Guang took a deep breath, regulated his heartbeat, tried to dispel the thoughts in his head and focused on remembering the melody. “Like this?”

“That’s it. Could you please play it again from the beginning for me.” Liu Xiao whispered into the ear of the person in his arms.

“… Can you move a little further? It’s too close, I can’t concentrate.”

A chuckle rang out behind him. Liu Xiao stood up straight, giving him back his space.

The performance began. The first notes sounded. It was still as beautiful as ever. Suddenly, another sound rang out. It was Liu Xiao, singing. The lyrics blended with the sound of the piano, becoming the music of the night. In an instant, Lu Guang's eyes lit up, sparkling like the myriad of stars in the sky. The songs he had played before were all just improvisations, his momentary emotions. He had only played on instinct. He himself had not really paid attention to what he had played and how it had happened. Even so, he had always poured his thoughts into each key, hoping that it could reach someone. But the music he played was just scattered sounds, it couldn’t be called a song. Yet Liu Xiao remembered it clearly after only hearing it once, carving it into his heart. Lu Guang was very touched that someone cherished his melody like this. But not only that, Liu Xiao also understood, and spoke his heart on his behalf. Liu Xiao's words, along with his deep and charming voice, breathed life into each note of Lu Guang's music. His monotonous and bland sound world suddenly became more vivid with the embellishment of words. The lyrics and melody were in harmony, intertwined like soul and body, creating the life of a song.

At that moment, the smoldering fire from before ignited in Lu Guang's heart.

The lonely sound had found a soulmate.

The song ended. Lu Guang was still stunned by what had happened. Liu Xiao held his trembling hands and said firmly.

"We will write many more songs together."

"And one day, you and I will shine together on stage."

The two eyes met. There was no need for another word between them.

They started working together from then on.

However, Lu Guang also made it clear that he would only make music with Liu Xiao and not perform with him. Wasn’t like Liu Xiao, he was not used to being on stage, and did not like being the center of attention among thousands of people. Liu Xiao also agreed. He would find a way to convince him later.

The appointments between the two were even more frequent than before. They would meet whenever they had the chance. Even Lu Guang would take the initiative to look for Liu Xiao when he was free now. The music room was of course the best choice, where there was a grand piano that any pianist would dream of, and the atmosphere there was also good for inspiration. But they couldn't always go there. Therefore, working on the rooftop with music apps or going to Lu Guang's room with an electric piano would often be more optimal places. They had also been to Liu Xiao's house a few times, and Lu Guang was completely overwhelmed by the recording studio filled with modern equipment there. It turned out that he was really serious about music, not just a momentary hobby. However, Liu Xiao told him that staying in Lu Guang's room helped him come up with more ideas, so that was still their main place of activity.

Lu Guang was the composer, and Liu Xiao was in charge of writing the lyrics. Usually, Lu Guang would play the music first, and Liu Xiao would write the lyrics based on the melodies. This was because he said that his playing always gave him ideas, it was easier than writing vaguely. Lu Guang was better at initiating inspiration, he said. But it wasn't always like that. The opposite also happened occasionally. Sometimes, random thoughts would pop up in Liu Xiao's head, maybe a few words, or a theme. Lu Guang could also create some music from there. In fact, he really liked Liu Xiao's lyrics, just like how he loved his melody. The words he used were profound and beautiful, as if they could capture the whole world. And they always coincided surprisingly well with Lu Guang's thoughts, as if he had read his mind and written them. Therefore, he always felt a special sympathy for Liu Xiao's lyrics. There was a connection between them, strange but tight. 

The work sessions did not always go smoothly. For some reason, Liu Xiao liked to tease him. It was not a normal joke but a provocation, making him angry to satisfy. Lu Guang was originally a calm and emotionless person, but at times like this, he could not keep his composure at all. It only ended when he got angry and wanted to kick the other person out that Liu Xiao hurriedly apologized and held him back, his face still unable to hide his joy. 

Sometimes they also reached a dead end because of lacking ideas. At times like this, Liu Xiao would drive out, go here and there to find inspiration. Of course, he also brought Lu Guang along, even though he felt something was wrong. 

"You don't have a license, right?" he questioned. 

"I'm old enough." 

“Don’t lie to me. It’s still far from your birthday.”

“It’s okay. I’ll drive safely. You’re too rigid, like an old man. Don’t be so principled, you can’t control everything in the world.”

Tch. Having done something illegal and still wanting to lecture him. Lu Guang glared at the person beside him, still not giving up.

“Then if you get caught by the police, you’ll have to take care of it yourself. I have nothing to do with it.”

“Hey, don’t shirk all responsibility. You’re accomplice with me.”

Lu Guang fell silent, not wanting to argue anymore. He could never win against him in an argument.

The two of them couldn’t get along, he thought to himself.

But their songs said otherwise. They always had a strong bond, as if they were born for each other and nothing could replace them.

Lu Guang also loved listening to Liu Xiao sing their songs. Especially when it sings along with the sound of his piano. The sounds blended into one, resounding in the air. It is the bond between soul and body, the voice between two souls in harmony.

Their first real performance was at a coffee shop. It is a kind of live music cafe, with a small stage above and a number of musical instruments available. Of course Lu Guang initially refused the invitation. He told Liu Xiao that unlike him, he didn't like being in the spotlight. If he wanted, you could sing alone. But Liu Xiao kept begging him, saying he needed an accompanist, no one else could do it except him. Looking back, the cafe wasn't too crowded that day, so he softened and agreed. 

The feeling at that time was really different, very different from when I was in his room or in the music room. 

Looking down from above, Lu Guang saw many eyes watching him. He began to feel restless and insecure. He wanted to run away from here. 

Liu Xiao realized it. He gradually approached, held the pale hand that was constantly trembling, and calmly reassured.

"It's okay. Do it like usual."

“Just look at me.”

Breathing was still heavy, heart rate was still rapid, but Lu Guang gradually calmed down. Anyway, he had no way back. Then just get it done.

As soon as his hands touched the keys, all his worries suddenly disappeared. It's like returning to the familiar flow. It seemed like they were used to it, but it was no longer the small world that belonged to just the two of them. In an instant, it suddenly became larger, lively, and more brilliant. It made Lu Guang feel overwhelmed. Lu Guang was confused by this change, unfamiliar in the land that was his. 

But Liu Xiao is also here. Little by little he guided him down that path. 

With Liu Xiao by his side, he was no longer afraid. 

When the song ended, the space was silent for a while, then applause rang out. Not many customers came to the cafe that day, but they all gave positive feedback. Liu Xiao suddenly turned around to look at the person behind him. He narrowed his eyes and smiled brightly. Has Lu Guang ever seen such a joyful and sincere smile from him? It shines and sparkles without the need for flashy lights. Like the brightest star in the middle of the night, lighting up the sky and his heart.

Lu Guang will never forget that moment.

He still couldn't name what that strange feeling was. Just know that he didn't hate it. And wanted to feel it more.

The song was well received beyond expectations. The owner posted the recording on the shop's homepage and it got a lot of interaction. Although they weren't very famous, the two of them received a lot of attention. More and more invitations to perform began to appear, from small cafes, opening performances at live houses, small school festivals,... Lu Guang had also gradually gotten used to being on stage. Because Liu Xiao was the main performer, people usually only focused on him. No matter how outstanding his white hair was, it couldn't be as attractive as that man’s charm on stage. He only saw himself as an accompanist, and in fact, that was true. He was a shadow for Liu Xiao's light. Lu Guang didn't care too much about this. Maybe it was better for someone like him. Although he didn't want to admit it, he really liked seeing Liu Xiao enjoy himself on stage. 

That was more than enough for him. Even if it wasn't together.

Over time, the two of them got used to the lively atmosphere, the flashing lights and the cheers of the crowd. Their combination also became more and more compatible, both on stage and in their compositions. There were still teasings and arguments, but from there they connected and understood each other more. 

The harmony of souls gradually formed a desire to be physically attached. 

It started with a kiss 

The passionate excitement on stage did not disappear even after the performance ended. The heart beat rapidly like a drum, the breath was rapid, the body temperature rose to an unbearable level because of the lingering echoes of passion. It always happened like that. Every time he stepped down from the stage, Lu Guang always felt a burning gaze fixed on him. Until one day, it really burned him. 

That day, as soon as he left the stage, Liu Xiao suddenly pulled him to a hidden corner and pushed him against the wall. Before Lu Guang could react, the other person's lips locked tightly, the strong smell of alcohol spreading across his tongue, gradually numbing his brain. The intense desire that Liu Xiao had always cleverly hidden in his heart, burst out and exploded in an instant. Perhaps it was the amorous atmosphere of the bar they went to today, or the alcohol from the cocktail he had sipped before the performance, urging him to act on instinct, ignoring all the reasoning and barriers he had built in his mind. 

Liu Xiao was just trying to find a reason to justify his actions. An explanation for Lu Guang right after this was over. But for now, let him enjoy this moment to the fullest.

Liu Xiao didn't know how many times he looked at the adorable cat's mouth that was always frowning at him and longing to taste it. Soft. And sweet. Just as he expected. The lips that were always pale after a while of intimacy quickly turned red, shiny and sparkling like a delicious berry inviting people to enjoy. So he did not hesitate to take a light bite, tasting the intoxicating flavor of temptation. The small mouth that always scolded him, mocking him, could only surrender to the strong possession, making intermittent, helpless sounds that were very flattering to the ears. Who knew how much worse words he would be cursed with after this kiss ended. The delicate face that always showed a cold and frowning expression every time she looked at him became increasingly hot because of the intimate contact, red with shyness. The cat pupils that always appeared indifferent to everything around them opened wide in surprise, gradually covered with a layer of tears, sparkling like mist on the surface of a lake. The pitiful and seductive look made Liu Xiao want to bully the person in his chest even more. 

Lu Guang was completely petrified, stunned by Liu Xiao's invasion. His mind was as numb as a madman, he couldn't think of anything at this moment, he could only let the other person take advantage of him as he pleased. After a while, he regained his senses, realizing what kind of situation he was in. Liu Xiao still hadn't let go of his thin lips. The warning words from before vaguely appeared in his mind like a red alert. His brain screamed at him to push him away. His hand was already on the chest of the person in front of him, but he still didn't move even a little bit. Lu Guang told himself that it was clearly because this bastard was stronger than him. Even though he knew it in his heart, he didn't use any strength or effort in those hands. 

Liu Xiao finally pulled away. The surroundings were filled with rapid panting and a warm heat that seemed to be about to evaporate. He clearly saw the killing intent in that sharp gaze, it said that Lu Guang would kill him right here. That seemed to be about to come true when Liu Xiao saw the blue veined hand tightly gripping his collar. Realizing the danger was near, he quickly spoke up to hold on to his fragile life.

“I’m sorry. Let me expl-“

Something blocked Liu Xiao’s mouth before he could finish his sentence. Something soft and sweet. The most addicted feeling he had ever felt in the world. He couldn’t believe what was happening. Liu Xiao stiffened, those violet eyes that had always calmed, widened in surprise, just like Lu Guang had before. It seemed like he had succeeded in his revenge. Didn’t know when the hand on his collar had left, but now, it was on Liu Xiao’s face, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

Lu Guang really wanted to drown Liu Xiao in the sweetness of love. If that was the case, he wouldn’t resist anymore. He would enjoy it to the fullest and respond with all he got.

Liu Xiao was willing to die for it. And wanted to pull Lu Guang deeper into it with him.

From that moment on, the warnings had completely disappeared from Lu Guang's mind, as if they had never existed.

Later, he always regreted it. If only he had really, really paid attention to those words even once.

But at this moment, he couldn't, and didn't want to think about them. In fact, he couldn't think about anything else. He could only focus on what was happening before his eyes, which was the passionate and intense kiss with Liu Xiao. Why could the trivial pleasure he had once taken for granted bring him such a comfortable and satisfying feeling as if he was in the clouds? Lu Guang thought he would never touch it, the temptation called love and desire. But the curious little cat tasted it once and was immediately infatuated with its flavor. It kept asking for more and more until there was no way to stop. It was absorbed in nibbling to fill its hungry stomach. It loved the shiny appearance and alluring sweetness of the apple. It didn't know, or didn't care, that inside the apple was hidden a deadly poison.

The frequency of the kisses increased. The seeds of desire had been planted, waiting to sprout and multiply. It had grown to the point where simple and clumsy contact was no longer able to satisfy the desire for intimacy. The passionate fire of youth could not be extinguished, but instead burned more intensely and fiercely over time. At some point, it had completely exceeded its limits and control.

That day was no different from any other. After school, Liu Xiao went to the familiar room, trying to finish the song. There were still teasing words, quarrels. There were still touches and glances, along with kisses.

By the time the two finished their work, it was already dark outside. Before Liu Xiao left, the two pairs of lips found each other to say goodbye. Despite their lingering reluctance, they still had to part in the end. Liu Xiao kissed the cheek of the person in his arms once again and prepared to leave. But before he could open the door, a gentle force pulled him back.

“Hey. It’s already late, sleep here tonight.”

Lu Guang said in a soft voice that he had never heard before. Liu Xiao chuckled, already knowing the other person’s intentions but still wanting to tease the cat a little.

“It’s not late yet, just like the usual. Is there something, Lu Guang.”

This jerk, clearly knew what he meant but still pretending. Lu Guang frowned in annoyance, immediately changing his tone.

“Tsk. What are you playing a fool for. If you don’t want to, then get out.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Lu Guang’s mouth was covered. This little cat was so adorable, Liu Xiao decided to reward it with what it wanted. 

Of course, they didn’t sleep that night.

Sex was no longer a strange thing between them. Things tended to develop in an increasingly crazier direction. It did not stop in Lu Guang’s private and cozy little room. They could go to a secluded corner on the windy rooftop, caress each other in the moonlight-filled music room, or even in narrow and risky places like the school restroom, the dressing room behind the stage, or even Liu Xiao’s expensive luxury car. They always made out with each other after each performance. Perhaps it was the only way to relieve the boiling fever between the two bodies were so excited that they were aroused. They don’t know why things turned out like this, they only know that their physical desires could no longer be restrained.

Their lives were not so boring that they only revolved around making music and making love. Liu Xiao often took his partner on dates, although it was impossible to know how much truth was in those words. But Lu Guang didn't care too much about it. He had to admit that he liked being around him. Liu Xiao gave him a very different feeling, he had never known before. A strong, new, and weird feeling of passion. But all of them carried a bit of peace and gentleness. It could be called an interesting experience. Liu Xiao would take him to cafes, remembering exactly his orders in each place, teasing his sweet tooth but not forgetting to order an extra pastry for him. Liu Xiao would take him to the library, find a book to read, even though he knew the attentive eyes behind the pages were only directed at him. Liu Xiao would take him to the cinema, telling him he wanted to see the movie he had been waiting for. He really liked watching movies, but what he liked most was when the little cat secretly leaned his soft, snow-white head on his shoulder. He was especially attentive when watching movies, but he never missed the slight shivers of the person beside him. He would cover the other person with his coat, put his hat on him, and pull him into his arms, moving his hands to warm the cold skin. There were also times when Liu Xiao didn't take him anywhere. They just stayed in the room, small but cozy. Who knew how many things they did there. Studying together, eating together, playing chess together, or simply being silent, letting their bodies overlap, feeling the warmth gradually spread. Sometimes they would meet by chance in school, just for fleeting moments. Liu Xiao would always give him a meaningful look, and there was always a lingering feeling of skin when they passed each other. When Lu Guang played the piano, he would look at him intently. Not like an audience watching a performance, but like someone admiring the most perfect and greatest masterpiece in his heart, as if he wanted to spend his whole life interpreting and honoring it. He loved to caress those beautiful hands. He fondled them, caressed them down to every inch of skin. Every time he finished his song, Liu Xiao would always gently take his hand, bend down and place kisses on each of his fingertips, respectfully and reverently as if it were the most precious treasure he had. 

This time of year was when Lu Guang hated the most. The temperature rose abnormally high, the weather was unbearably hot all day long. He couldn't stand this heat. That day, he had exercise class, the lesson he hated the most. Liu Xiao's class also occurred at the same time, he knew that, but it didn't make things any better. Lu Guang couldn't pay attention to the affectionate looks that the other person was secretly sending him. He was thinking of ways to overcome this torture. Why did he feel like today was even hotter than usual? The bright sunlight shone directly into his face to tease and torment him, as if he wasn't tired enough with his legs aching from running a long distance. His panting was uncontrollable, along with the sweat that kept pouring out. Lu Guang was afraid that he wouldn't be able to make it. Everything in his eyes suddenly blurred, then suddenly turned black. 

When Lu Guang opened his eyes again, all he saw was the white cell. The smell of rust and disinfectant rushed to his brain, making him dizzy. A hand came from somewhere placed on his forehead, bringing warmth that gradually spread. Lu Guang gradually regained consciousness. Only then did he realize who was beside him.

"Awake yet?"

He only nodded slightly, before he could say anything, the other person continued to talk.

"You, what’s wrong with you, huh? You're not this weak when we are in the bed, but you fainted after doing a little exercise. If you weren't feeling well, you should have asked to go out, why did you have to try on doing it? I didn't know you were so stubborn. You suddenly fell down, scared me to death. Luckily I was there today, otherwise-"

"It’s alright. I understand now. Don't scold me anymore, please." Lu Guang interrupted, hurriedly hugging the hand of the person beside him, stroking it to show his apologies. Liu Xiao also softened, patted his head, and toned down his voice.

“I didn’t scold you. I just want you to know, don’t do that again.” Liu Xiao said, his hand movements still not stopping, gradually moving down to his soft cheek. Lu Guang understood, continuously rubbing his cheek against the warm palm like a kitten pleasing its owner.

“This won’t happen again.”

The two of them were intimate like that after a while, Lu Guang suddenly realized.

“Are you okay here? Don’t you need to go to class?”

“It’s okay, I asked for permission. I can’t leave you alone. That lesson isn’t important anyway.”

Liar. Lu Guang knew very well that he just wanted to find an excuse to skip class. He gave him a long glance. Liu Xiao realized that he had been caught, so he pulled him into his arms and kissed to distract him.

“School’s almost over. Let’s get ready to go home.”

Lu Guang still hadn’t made any new moves, just sitting still on the bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“… My legs hurt.”

Actually, he was completely fine. But because of the recent heatstroke, he was still tired, wanting to lean on Liu Xiao a little. This was his own fault, who told him to pamper him all day long, letting him become spoiled, Lu Guang thought to himself. Liu Xiao smiled lightly, seeming to have known his intentions but didn’t expose him. He knelt down, bowing low.

“Come here. I’ll carry you.”

Liu Xiao was still full of energy at first, but he quickly became tired. Each step gradually became difficult, accompanied by heavy breathing. Lu Guang used his sleeve to wipe the sweat that was sliding down his temple anxiously.

“Why you sweat so much. Am I really that heavy?”

“You’re not heavy, but your backpack is.” Liu Xiao’s voice stopped mid-sentence. “What did you put in there, how do you carry it everyday with that strength.”

Hearing this, Lu Guang curled down his lips. “Who told you to keep bringing it with you? I already said you could leave it there.”

“I don’t need to know. You have to reward me later.” Liu Xiao paused for a moment to adjust his posture, lifting him up. Because of this movement, Lu Guang’s head, which was resting on his shoulder, was suddenly pushed forward, close to his face. So close that if he moved just a little, he would…

Maybe, it wasn’t bad to treat him a little bit.

Liu Xiao felt something lightly touch his cheek. Something extremely soft, leaving behind a vague, fleeting feeling.

“Thank you so much, Xiao gē .”

They suddenly stopped moving. Lu Guang looked over and saw that the other person’s ears were red, gradually spreading to his entire face. He chuckled to himself, it turned out that today wasn’t that bad.

“Why are you so stiff? Don’t you like that?”

“Why not? I love it. Just call me that.”

So he forced him to call him gē gē all day long.

There was a time when Lu Guang no longer hated the heat.

Those things planted an indescribable feeling in Lu Guang’s heart. At first, he didn’t really care about things with Liu Xiao that much. It was true that they kissed, made love, and were together a lot. He also called him by intimate and embarrassing names like little cat, darling, or baby, but he thought that those were just temporary feelings. He admitted that those things were very interesting and stimulating, a new flavor that he had never tasted in his life. However, in the end, it could also be due to the abundant energy of passionate youth who always wanted to explore the world and themselves. That led to the emergence of impulsive actions, because of the desire to be satisfied. Those were the rain of passionate youth that everyone experienced, not just him. If he kept stay still and didn't enjoy it, he might lose a beautiful part of his memories. But the rain was slow to penetrate. Lu Guang had taken the rain that Liu Xiao had created for him too lightly. He kept struggling and playing in it, not realizing that his whole body was soaked and would soon be drowned by it. He was sick already.

One day, the two of them were in Lu Guang’s room writing songs, like usual. The composer leaned against the warmth beside him, his fingers randomly touching the keys, he still had no idea in mind. Feeling the weight on his shoulder, Liu Xiao put down the notebook he was holding. He looked at the depressed cat and laughed, stroking its drooping fur. After a long while, he spoke.

“Lu Guang, promise that you only compose music for me.”

Lu Guang sat up straight, looking up with his wide open eyes in confusion.

“What… what are you saying. Why so sudden? Is there something wrong.”

“I’m serious.” Liu Xiao’s eyes were filled with determination and certainty. “I like your sound, I like your melody. My music can only be complete with you. My words were born for you and were sung by your melody. Only with it, I can do what I have always wanted to do. Do you see how wonderful our song is? My words and your melody, they were born for each other.”

“Your melody, I want it to only resonate with my lyrics. The way you create it, I want to be the only one who can witness it. I want it to belong to me, to be mine only. Is that fine?”

Lu Guang’s heart was pounding so hard that it could be heard echoing in both of his ears. But on the outside, he still tried to act normal.

“Then wouldn’t I be at a loss? What about you? Why am I the only one tied to you?”

“Then I just make music with you. My lyrics are only written for your melody.” Liu Xiao lifted his face, narrowing the distance between them until their foreheads touched. Warm breaths spread across their skin. “Only for you.” The violet hue from his deep eyes pinned Lu Guang’s body, as if he wanted to see through his heart, carrying a serious and determined tone that he had never seen before. Lu Guang was silent for a while before replying. “Up to you.” He wrapped his arms around the neck of the person in front of him, continuing to pull him closer, until there was no longer any distance between them.

At that moment, Lu Guang actually felt very weird and some kind of hilarious. As if Liu Xiao loved the melody he created rather than Lu Guang himself.

Wait, did Liu Xiao love him?

When they had never written love songs.

What exactly was their relationship? It was definitely not just teammates or partners. They had crossed the line of those things for a long time, even exceeding the limit. But that didn’t mean they had reached the threshold of lovers, right? What they did was no different from the couples that Lu Guang had observed in theory and practice, but even more than that. He had also looked through the list of actions that lovers often did to each other all over the internet. Surprisingly and embarrassingly, they had done almost all of them. There was only one thing. A clear confirmation. They had never had it. 

In the end, Lu Guang still couldn’t name this relationship. 

But that didn’t matter. He was fine with what was going on and he didn’t see anything wrong or that needed to be changed. He didn’t need love. It was a meaningless and fragile concept to him. Why should he tie himself to someone who wasn’t even his blood. He didn't believe in a deep and lasting bond with a complete stranger. Nothing lasted forever. Before, he had always been alone and still lived well. Even though Liu Xiao's presence had changed his life drastically, it would still be remained. He didn't want to love anyone, nor did he need anyone to love him.

That was what his mind told him.

But it couldn't explain the reactions in his heart. Every time he met Liu Xiao, it felt like it wanted to fly out of his chest. They had been close to each other many times. But every time, it still beat as fast and excited as the first time. Liu Xiao always satisfied and delighted him to the point that he became more greedy, more demanding. Every second and minute with him gave him such a comfortable and pleasant feeling, no matter what he did or said. Lu Guang felt that the time they spent together was never enough.

It also couldn't explain the discomfort and bitterness he felt whenever he saw other people around Liu Xiao. After their performances, they were also famous in school and received a lot of attention. Occasionally, people would come over to talk to them, wanting to interact or take pictures, and so on. Liu Xiao always kept him close, not letting him interact with anyone, saying that he was worried that he would be shy to interact with strangers. That wasn't wrong, but Lu Guang felt annoyed that he was being treated like a child. He was even more annoyed when he saw Liu Xiao acting so casually and intimately with others. Actually, that was a bit exaggerated. Liu Xiao had always only interacted at a normal social level and had never had anything more than a handshake, but Lu Guang didn't care, it still made him uncomfortable. He also didn't like having too many people around Liu Xiao, especially women. Although he was already famous for being a weirdo, his beauty and attraction were undeniable. It was even more obvious and powerful when he was on stage. People gradually forgot how strange he was and only cared about his deadly charm and always tried to approach him. Lu Guang knew that he wouldn't treat anyone like him. Lu Guang was very confident and certain about that, but it didn't stop him from feeling resentful. But that man, whether intentionally or unintentionally, didn't notice his attitude, always indifferent as if nothing was happening. 

It was raining heavily that day, to the point that it dyed the sky gray. It was almost time to leave school, but the rain still hadn't stopped. Lu Guang didn't bring an umbrella. He knew that Liu Xiao always had one in his bag, so since he met him, he didn't bring one anymore. There were still ten minutes left before the end of class, but he didn't want to pay much attention to it. He absentmindedly looked out the window, his mind filled with random thoughts, the melody he had just thought of for their new song, what to eat later, what he and Liu Xiao would do today. The scene in the schoolyard suddenly interrupted Lu Guang's status line. The person he had just thought of was there. But there seemed to be someone else beside him? Were they sharing a coat? Wasn't that Liu Xiao's coat? Why were they so close to each other? Didn't Liu Xiao have an umbrella, why wasn't he using it? And they looked so happy, right? 

It made Lu Guang's mood sink. 

He couldn't understand why he was like this. What was this itchy feeling in his heart called? Jealousy? But they were nothing to each other, why should he be jealous? Anger? But there was nothing wrong with what Liu Xiao did. He had no right to control his affairs. So why did he feel so upset and bitter when he saw him being intimate with someone else? Just thinking about it made him feel pain, in his head, and in his heart. 

After school, he didn't wait for Liu Xiao. His phone vibrated continuously from the notifications of messages and calls, but he didn't bother to pick up. He just walked aimlessly without a destination. The rain still hadn't stopped, weighing down his every step. Lu Guang knew that he was acting extremely foolishly and impulsively. But he allowed himself to do so, just for today. 

When Lu Guang returned to the dormitory, it was already midnight. Someone was already waiting in front of his room. That person, who had been bowing his head in worry and silence, smiled warmly and charmingly as soon as he saw him. Lu Guang just looked at him and opened the door, walking in silence. 

"Aren't you going to say anything?" 

"What do you want to say?" 

“You even asked me back. I didn’t see you in class. I texted but you didn’t reply. I called but you didn’t answer. Don’t you think you need to explain? I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.” Liu Xiao crossed his arms and questioned. His voice was still steady and warm as usual, but his tone was much more stern. He was really pissed. But Lu Guang didn’t want to talk much to him at this time.

“You have the key. If you want to, just come in, there’s no need to wait.”

Liu Xiao shook his head. This guy, why did he suddenly get irritated today. He couldn’t continue to argue with him at this time. Looking at the wet cat that was sulking in front of him, he couldn’t help but soften his heart, so he had to go down and soothe him first. He covered Lu Guang’s head with a towel, and went into the bathroom himself.

“I’ll prepare a hot bath for you. Dry yourself first, you’ll catch a cold.”

When Liu Xiao came out, the little cat was still sitting sadly on the bed. It wasn’t good. He had to quickly handle it before the water filled up. He sat down on the floor, using a towel to continue wiping the remaining drops of water on the white hair. Lu Guang hadn't said a word since then. After a while, Liu Xiao lifted his face that had been lowered so that he could face him. He said, sweet and soft.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"Can you tell me."

"Did someone mess with my kitty?"

"Or did I make you sad."

Lu Guang remained silent. So he was really upset with him. Liu Xiao tried to remember what he had done to make the cat bristle. But he really couldn't think of anything that had upset him. He had no choice but to let him speak for himself.

"Lu Guang, at least tell me what's wrong, okay? If you don't tell me, I don't know what to do. Please, tell me."

After a while, Lu Guang spoke, so low, as if he didn't want anyone to hear. "Why don't you use an umbrella?"

“Huh?” Liu Xiao still didn’t understand what he was talking about.

“You have an umbrella, why don’t you use it.”

Liu Xiao only now vaguely remembered. He did indeed take a student to the class this afternoon. He didn’t know that he saw, and thought so much about it.

“So you’re angry with me about that.”

“… Not angry.”

Lu Guang really wasn’t angry with him. He was only angry with himself, for being so weak. Liu Xiao just smiled.

“I had just finished my lab class, and I didn’t bring an umbrella. I didn’t know who that was. She asked me which room I was going to and asked to take shelter from the rain with me. I couldn’t refuse her, right.”

Liu Xiao also had no obligation to explain to him. He knew he wasn’t at fault. He was the childish one here.

“Are you jealous?”

There was no reply. So the little cat was really jealous. As usual, he would have teased him until he was embarrassed. But seeing such a pitiful appearance, Liu Xiao really couldn't bear it. Moreover, he felt that he was also partly responsible for it. His voice became even gentler than before.

"I won't do that again."

"You don’t have to."

Because you didn't do anything wrong.

"But it makes you sad, right? Then I won't do it again."

"Why you have to do that?"

We are nothing to each other.

"Because I want you to be happy."

Liu Xiao, why are you saying these words to me?

Why are you always this gentle with me?

Do you know that kindness is crushing my heart?

In the end, Lu Guang still couldn't say the questions in his heart.

Perhaps, he was afraid of hearing the answers.

So he just let the confusion and doubts swallow him.

Even how much it was hurting him.

Lu Guang quietly snuggled into the chest of the person below. The steady heartbeat echoed in his ears, as if it had never been disturbed by anything. Yet he foolishly tried to decode it, trying to find a bit of truth in each beat. Liu Xiao looked at the little cat lying on his lap, his hand constantly stroking it. It was still upset, but at least it seemed like it was no longer angry with him. He would slowly make it up to it later. 

He was crazy about Lu Guang. That was an undeniable fact, even though he could not understand why. He came to him because of the sound of the piano, which had attracted him from the very beginning. But Lu Guang himself was even more than that. Without knowing when, he had been drawn to him. He was infatuated with him even more than the beautiful sounds he made. He loved looking at him, whether he was laughing, sulking, or simply silently staying by his side. He loved the way he shyly buried his head in his chest, the way he clumsily tried to place a kiss on his lips, the way he lost his mind in the clouds when they did embarrassing things. He remembered his unconcealable outburst when he first heard his song. He remembered how he always seemed focused on his work despite his teasing, even though his ears were already red. He remembered the way his eyes sparkled every time they were on stage, as if there had never been a more glorious night sky. He knew its brilliance was always for him and only because of him. Every moment with him was so happy and beautiful. Even when they had problems like now, he still didn't hate it. He always felt like he hadn't spent enough time with him. Whether it was his eyes, his lips, his voice, his body, he wanted everyone to know that it belonged to him alone, and at the same time wanted to keep it all to himself forever. 

A friend told Liu Xiao that he was too busy talking to Lu Guang that he was neglecting his composing. That person advised him that if he was really serious about this path, he should reconsider making music with Lu Guang again. He kept talking about how bandmates dating each other would cause a lot of trouble, but Liu Xiao couldn’t remember clearly. He had already distracted from the second sentence of the conversation. He just found it funny. He was truly passionate about music and wanted to pursue it seriously. That was why he sought out Lu Guang in the first place, and that goal would not change. He was the perfect partner for him. That was for sure, and it was clearly shown through their songs. Their melodies and lyrics were always harmonious and deeply connected, as if they came from the same soul. The fact that he and the white-hair boy had an intimate relationship was completely unexpected, although he sometimes had some indecent intentions towards Lu Guang in the beginning, and luckily for him, they all came true. But that wasn’t the main point here. The core thing was that the quality of their songs was always guaranteed, even getting better, perhaps thanks to the bond between them. Even their performances became more energetic and explosive. However, he had to admit that their work productivity had declined compared to before, mainly because they were busy doing other things. It was as if there was a magnet in them, every time they met, they stuck together. Couldn't blame him for this, it was because Lu Guang was too attractive, he didn't believe anyone could resist his charm. He couldn't blame Lu Guang either. Perhaps a tough person like him couldn't stand it and had to surrender to his attraction. Besides, he didn't see any problem with this. After all, there was nothing wrong with spending more time to find inspiration and polish the song. Especially when its effectiveness had already been clearly demonstrated.

Well, let's put that aside. Right now, he still had to focus on this person.

They just hugged each other silently for a while. Feeling that the little cat in his arms had calmed down a bit, Liu Xiao slowly said.

"Let me take a bath with you later. Okay?"

"Uhm."

That night, he took care of Lu Guang very well.

Liu Xiao was an expert at pampering cat after all. The little cat finally brightened up after seeing the marks he left on the other person. But these marks, even if he buttoned his shirt, he couldn't hide them all.

Well, it's okay, as long as his cat was happy

Lu Guang was the type of person who was obsessed with controlling everything that happened in his life. He always made a plan and was determined to follow it to the end. Therefore, there was hardly any change that he could not handle. He always considered the possibilities and action in each situation. That was his life for the past 17 years, peaceful and calm like a river without any ripples, just flowing slowly. Some people would find it boring, but Lu Guang was extremely satisfied with it and wished nothing more than it to stay like that forever. It was better to be well-prepared than to act blindly. He could easily solve any problem, no matter how difficult, thanks to that caution. Everything was programmed and operated smoothly and without any errors. But then Liu Xiao appeared, like a big rock that God threw into the calm water, forcing it to change its flow. It flowed faster, more urgently. Lu Guang thought he would never get used to it, but he quickly adapted and gradually got caught up in it. His normally orderly life was going off the rails and was always full of unpredictable things. The scary thing was that he found himself addicted to the feeling he once hated to the core. He liked the way Liu Xiao always brought him unexpected surprises, the way he led him from the most passionate passion to the most naked desires. He brought him to the vast sky with bright lights, as well as exploring forbidden lands of temptation that he would never have found on his own. He lost himself whenever he was with him. A heart that was always indifferent to everything was suddenly injected with a stimulant that made his blood boil. It gave him a feeling of excitement and ecstasy, like a dose of drugs. Questions and problems had never been difficult for him. But Liu Xiao’ appearance was like an unpredictable variable, leading to countless probabilities that he could not calculate. He also left him with thousands of different questions. He was absorbed and engrossed in trying to figure it out, even though he never found the answer. But there was one thing he was sure of, something he had learned from his encounter with Liu Xiao, thing that Liu Xiao had told him. That he couldn’t control everything in the world.

That’s right. He couldn’t control everything in the world.

It was near the end of the school year. For seniors, this was the time to rush to prepare for the upcoming stressful and important exams. But Liu Xiao didn’t seem worried at all. He was even with Lu Guang more than before. Not to the point of being together for 24 hours a day, but close enough. Although this satisfied both of their needs to always be close, Lu Guang began to get impatient at the other’s calmness. He also didn’t see him making any moves to prepare for the exams. He kept urging him to study, afraid that if he didn’t get into a certain school, it would be his fault. The only response he got was Liu Xiao's indifferent attitude.

"Don't you believe in my ability, honey. I thought you should know that best."

Lu Guang could only shake his head in defeat. He had asked him many times about his future plans, but he only answered half-heartedly, like anything as long as with you. He didn't ask anymore.

It wasn't until later that he learned about Liu Xiao's real plan. It was nothing like what he told him.

The day of the Graduation Ceremony finally came. Lu Guang tried to find a familiar figure among the crowd. As soon as he saw Liu Xiao, before he could even hand him the bouquet, he pulled him into his arms. The warmth that had always surrounded him was still there, the smile that had always pampered him was still there. Today, Liu Xiao was a bit different from usual. Perhaps because when he took off the cumbersome jewelry and didn't wear the ridiculous hat on his head, the mysterious look disappeared, he looked much more normal and youthful. The gaze that looked at him still didn't change, still deep and passionate. But today, he felt something different in those violet pupils. A quiet and reserved look. He had never seen it like this before. Did it look a bit... sad? He wasn't sure if someone like him could have this kind of feeling. That day, he had also secretly observed Liu Xiao, but in the end, he was still the same, still teasing, flirting, and being intimate like every day. Maybe it was just because he thought too much. 

The bright sunlight of the new day shone directly on Lu Guang to wake him up. His body was sore and burning due to the trace of last night, making him not fully awake yet. He dreamily reached out to search for the familiar warmth, then suddenly realized that the other side of the bed was completely empty. This was strange, because Liu Xiao had never let him wake up alone. In his memory, he still clearly remembered that person carrying him to the bathroom to take care of him like always. The oversized shirt told him that it was Liu Xiao's. Why was Lu Guang wearing his shirt even though this was his own room? Normally, he would always dress Lu Guang in his clothes, and they didn't often exchange clothes unless they were at Liu Xiao's place. His instincts told him that something was wrong. He rushed into the bathroom only to find that all of his belongings were gone. The clothes in the closet were also gone. It was as if Liu Xiao had disappeared from his world without leaving a trace. Lu Guang was extremely confused and scared, but he still tried to suppress the emotions that were about to explode in his heart, looking around for a reasonable reason for this incident.

He suddenly realized that there was a notebook on the table, the notebook that Liu Xiao often used to write lyrics. But when he opened each page, he realized that it was more than that. There were pages filled with words written in a messy and scribbled manner, and there were pages rewritten with complete music, with neatly arranged music sheets and neat handwriting. Most of them were complete songs, and there were also some lyrics he had never seen before. Sometimes, he would come across pictures of himself, even if they were just some basic sketches. Sometimes it was when he was dozing off, when he was walking in the schoolyard, when he was playing the piano, or when he was doing nothing, just sitting with his chin in his hands and thinking. Each ink stroke filled the notebook like that. Until the last page, it ended with a message.

My kitty, is everything too sudden? I'm sorry for that.

An agency came to me. They wanted me to debut for them, but I had to go abroad for training.

I wanted to tell you many times, but I couldn't. I was afraid of seeing how sad you were. Or maybe I was just too arrogant and delusional. You told me how much you like being alone and always complained that I'm affecting you. Maybe now you're thinking that I'm such an idiot for thinking that you care about me so much and laughing happily because you finally free now, right? I can't be sure anyway. So I want to make a bet with you.

Lu Guang, I'm sorry that I chose such a cowardly way to leave. I don't have the right to ask you to forgive me. But if you can, please contact me, at least let me know the result of this bet.

I'll always wait for you, my love.

A few stains gradually fell down, blurring the words, until they soaked the entire page.

Lu Guang wanted to crumple the page and throw it away, but he also wanted to hold it tightly.

An indescribable feeling of brokenness and emptiness rose in Lu Guang's heart. Only pain and bitterness filled, to the point that those sweetness the other person once gave him before could not make it up. 

In the end, is there any truth in Liu Xiao’s words.

In the end, what is Lu Guang to him. 

What is the meaning of those together and as long as with you that he used to said.

In the end, their promises are because of what.

But is it important. The fact that Liu Xiao did nothing wrong. He has the right to do anything to his life without notifying Lu Guang. Especially when he encountered such a good thing, he must be the most happy and proud person. Why didn’t he have any of those emotions? Why is everything he felt just painful and disappointed? Why did he become such a selfish person? Why was his heart so weak?

If only he could prevent those negative emotions, so that it couldn't flow anymore. But he could not do it. He completely lost control of both his mind and heart. Only the rules are constantly active, tears kept pouring out. 

Lu Guang opened the message box between them. The status symbol of that account was lightning now. His fingers stopped before the calling icon. He didn’t want everything to end here. He wanted to hear an explanation from Liu Xiao, wanted a clear answer to everything between them. But that means Lu Guang would follow what that man has arranged. He didn’t want that. He could not let Liu Xiao win this game again. Then, he had to accept the feeling he had always run away. Actually, he knew what it was a long time ago. He just did not allow himself to name it and refuse to face it. And if he did not call him, it would mean that everything would end, whether dreaming, passion or youth. All relationships between them would be erased.

Lu Guang's hand kept hesitating. He decided to face this and click.

Blocked. Then delete the user from the contacts.

In the end, his ego was too big. He could not accept himself as a loser. He had always been such a stubborn and selfish kid like that.

Lu Guang lied on the floor, his arms on his wet teary eyes. Every memory, every moment running out of his head like a film. 

He suddenly remembered what the people around him said. If he listened to those warnings even once, everything would not end up like this.

It turned out that he was just a fool. He was arrogant that he knew everything but actually did not know anything. He thought he had held it tightly, but his hand was just a handful of sand, quietly flowing out of his fingers, far away from him. He just realized when it already ran out. In the end, he had nothing left.

But at least he was right about one thing. Nothing lasted forever. 

He still had to move on. He would start a new beginning.

The first step, he needed to forget Liu Xiao. 

The beginning was already too difficult and challenging. It seems that Liu Xiao has left his trace everywhere in his life, from the most basic things to the most private things. Whatever he did, he saw his silhouette. Because Liu Xiao became a big part of his life, when he left, it left a void that there was no way to fill. 

But Lu Guang still had to admit that he helped him find something. His passion for music.

Initially, music was merely a personal hobby to kill time and relieve himself, he thought so. Since he met Liu Xiao, he gradually became more interested in it, focused on making and playing music more seriously, practicing more. Until the point that his passion for music became intense. And he would continue to pursue it, whether with Liu Xiao or not.

How could Lu Guang do it without him, when this is the deepest connection between them?

The first thing he did was selling the piano in the room. And never touched them again. 

This is too contradictory with what he said. It is the very first beginning after all. But that's why he could not continue. Every time he saw it, his heart lost a beat, let alone playing it. He was afraid that as long as he touched the keyboard, his heart would be broken again.

It's okay.

No one wanted to hear his piano anymore, he had no reason to continue.

Lu Guang still went to concerts and livehouses as a habit. Part of him was also used to the vibrant atmosphere and the spotlight. When he missed them, he felt empty. If it was before, he would never go to these places himself. But the flow of unforeseen change, he had to force himself to adapt. He had been used to being alone for a long time anyway.

The piano had been sold in a short time. Right after he posted it, someone contacted immediately. This person was not too concerned about its current situation, quickly sent him the address to receive the goods. The customer in foreign countries, while Lu Guang had no experience in this, so he intended to refuse. But the opponent was very enthusiastic and generous, to the point that he felt a bit strange. This person guided him little by little, and actively contacted the transport unit to take care of everything for him. He was also a little afraid this was a scam or a conspiracy behind him. He felt that this strange customer always made an excuse to text him, and too intimate. Since he was a seller, he had to show his affection and hospitality, but in his heart always vigilant. Until the other person took a photo to receive the goods and the transaction was completed, Lu Guang breathed a sigh of relief. The other guest also sent a sentence.

I wish I could hear you play it. It must be really wonderful ^^

Lu Guang only seen it without any more response. In fact, he had to try to suppress himself not to send two words "You psycho". He was not suitable for the service industry

Later, Lu Guang wanted to start again with a new instrument. After considering for a while, he thought the bass was the most reasonable choice for him. Low, deep, not too prominent. Really suitable for him. He had experience in advance, so getting used to it was not difficult. It still took a long time to handle it nicely, like the way he used to be with the keyboard. 

But there was a problem. He couldn't compose it.

It didn't matter anyway. He promised a specific person, so he had to keep his word. Although he did not know if that man really cared or remembered about it.

So Lu Guang's life returned to its initial rhythm. The river continued to flow, slowly and quietly, without ripples. Now, there was no effect on its flow anymore.

This is what he always wanted. He needs nothing more than his own peaceful sky. How much he loved and enjoyed the time alone. 

He should have been familiar with this. But why is it so difficult now.

He had never known the feeling of loneliness. But now little by little gnawing at him from deep inside.

It also made his enthusiasm fade away. He was still listening, still playing music, like an uncertain wandering who lost his light. Even so, that flame had never turned off. Despite being weak and shaking, it was always burning, and was waiting for the day to be blown up.

That wind came to his life in the first year of college.

That day was a welcoming ceremony for the freshmen. The campus was crowded and full of people. Entering the new environment, Lu Guang was still strange and confused. He still could not get used to this hustle and bustle. The clubs were actively recruiting new members, those around them gathered in groups, chatting and laughing. Everyone had their own purpose, except him. He knew he did not belong to this place and was just struggling to find a way out of the crowd.

Lu Guang suddenly hit an obstacle in front of him, fell to the ground. He was still rubbing his forehead painfully when it moved, making a sound.

"Are you okay? You have to be careful!"

A guy with black hair, very young and dynamic. The person hurriedly pulled him up, his hands constantly rubbing the swollen spot that made him dumbfounded for a moment.

"I ... I'm okay." Lu Guang stammered, confused by the touch but did not know what to do. He was focusing on what that boy was wearing behind. Realizing his avoidance intention, the opponent stopped his movements. He laughed shyly, giving him the cold soda he was holding.

"I invite you. Take it as an apology."

The other waved at him and turned away. If it was usual, everything had ended here. But today, something has urged Luang. It told him that this was the light he was looking for and could not miss it. He held the hand in front of him.

"Wait!"

"You, you play music?"

The other person stumbled a bit, then suddenly his face brightened, smiling excitedly.

"That’s right! You really notice. huh. I play guitar. I tend to form a band with my friend. But we are still lacking people."

Lu Guang's hand tightened, the voice was trembling but full of determination.

"Actually, I also have ..."

There was no eternal bond, yet people shared more than just one connection

Together with Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling, they founded Timel. Since then, a new door has opened for Lu Guang, bringing him back to the enthusiasm of the previous day. 

The other two were childhood friends, who were already close to each other but still treated him very well, never letting him feel lost or lonely. So enthusiastic and friendly that they seemed to know each other for a long time. Especially Xiaoshi, perhaps because he was worried that he felt abandoned, he kept clinging to him, whether he was practicing, at school or his whole life, carefreely. But thanks to that, the pain in him gradually calmed down and the blank was previously faded. Not knowing when, he was accustomed to two silhouettes appearing in his life.

He would continue on his new path, with new companions. Although the goal had not changed.

Lu Guang once again stood on the stage, under the bright lights, in front of the lively crowd. He didn't think he would miss this atmosphere that much. 

When he stood in this position, he realized.

He didn't need to be the shadow of anyone.

Because he is the light himself.