Archive of Our Own ^beta

The idea occurs to him on a Wednesday afternoon as they're taking a break during a joint training session with the second-years. Megumi can't really say why he has this idea or where it comes from. It just pops into his head as he's sitting in the grass with Yuji, both of them drinking water and trying to cool down in the shade.

The thing is, Megumi was upset when Yuji died. He blamed himself a little, since the only reason Yuji ever got involved in the jujutsu world in the first place was because of him. He knows what happened wasn't his fault, exactly—after all, Yuji didn't eat Sukuna's finger to save him personally. The guy didn't even know him back then. He just kind of has a saving-people-thing. That's the type of guy he is. It could've been anyone else there that day, and the outcome would've been the same.

Besides, Megumi has always thought people make their own choices. You're born, you fuck up, you suffer, you die. Anything you do in between is up to you. He didn't go to Sendai intending to drag someone else into this mess with him. Yuji made his own decision, and it killed him. Not the first time that's happened, and it won't be the last.

Still, it was upsetting when it happened right in front of him. Sometimes he felt like Yuji had taken part of him when he died, whatever small part still believed there was good in this world. Threw him for a loop when his supposedly-dead classmate jumped out of a box (brilliant idea, all credit to Gojo he's sure). And then the exchange event had been… well. A clusterfuck? To put it lightly. But Megumi is glad he's back.

He likes Yuji. Not the brightest crayon in the box, maybe, but he has a good heart and balls of steel. Megumi can appreciate that in an abstract sort of way, even if it's probably going to get him killed. Again. (At least Megumi will be prepared this time. Maybe he'll even be strong enough to stop it.)

Megumi ponders the question for a moment before he asks. He thinks it's probably a stupid question, but he's not afraid of asking stupid questions. His never-ending search to the answer of whether life has any inherent meaning sometimes requires thinking and asking things that make him sound like an idiot. Megumi knows he's smart, and that's how he knows that even stupid questions can have surprisingly meaningful answers when asked in the right way.

All the same, he can admit in hindsight that the "right" way is probably not to just cock his head at Yuji and ask him mid-drink, apropos of nothing, "Have you ever thought about dating me?"

Yuji chokes on his water, which shoots from his mouth and spills down the front of his uniform. "Um." He regards Megumi's single raised eyebrow with a panicked expression while dabbing his shirt. Megumi waits. "I- I… yeah? Um. Why? Have you?"

"Not really," Megumi replies. "But I think the idea has merit."

Those wide, brown eyes blink at him for a moment. "Fushiguro…" Yuji says slowly. "Are you trying to say you like me?"

Megumi shrugs and says, "I like you well enough." Yuji is clearly confused. Megumi frowns. He's not explaining this very well, is he? "Have you ever dated someone?" he asks.

The pink-haired boy rubs the back of his neck, glancing at Maki and Kugisaki still sparring in the grass. He's nervous. This line of questioning is making him uncomfortable. But the question has already been asked, and Megumi kind of wants an answer. "I haven't," says Yuji.

"But you want to."

"Well, yeah." He sips his water carefully. "But I mean- Why do you want to date me?"

Megumi starts counting the reasons on his fingers. "You have an incredible physique. Your hair always smells nice. You're mildly entertaining on occasion. You're ridiculously strong. You-"

"Okay, stop," he says under his breath, holding up his hands. He's blushing. Why is he blushing? These are objectively true facts. "So… you find me… attractive?"

"I wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with you."

Yuji shakes his head back and forth quickly. "I can't tell if I'm supposed to feel complimented or insulted right now, and to be honest, I'm a little weirded out by this conversation." The pace of his breathing has picked up a bit. "I don't know what you're trying to say."

"I'm asking if you want to be my boyfriend," Megumi explains.

"This… is a really weird way to ask that question, Fushiguro."

"Oh." Megumi's brow furrows. "I just thought it would be a good idea. Since we're already friends."

The other boy leans forward to put his head in his hands. "I really don't know what to say to that."

"A simple yes or no would suffice."

Yuji lets out of a couple of deep breaths. Megumi is not going about this the right way at all. He gets the feeling he's missed one or two social cues, here. He thinks back on what he's said so far, and it all seems pretty straightforward. Yuji is reacting as if this question is difficult to answer. Megumi does not understand, it's a simple inquiry.

"It doesn't necessarily have to be you," he clarifies, and Yuji shoots him a bewildered look. "I just don't know what it's like to date someone. You're one of the few people I can stand to be around. It only makes sense to ask you."

"So…" Yuji's eyes flit back and forth as if he's doing rapid calculations in his head. "You don't actually like me. You just want me to be your boyfriend because… you don't hate me, and I'm not horrible to look at?" Megumi shrugs in reply, and Yuji's eyes bulge further. "Well, that's kind of mean."

Mean? Megumi is not being mean. "You can just say no," he says, a little testily.

"No," Yuji replies emphatically.

Megumi holds up both hands and says, "Alright, fine. That's all you had to say." He gets up.

"Wait, but-" Yuji scrambles to his feet.

"Break time's over!" Maki calls. Her foot is planted on Kugisaki's back, crushing her face into the dirt. "Itadori, get over here! Megumi, you're with Inumaki."

From beneath her, Kugisaki makes an attempt to grab Maki by the ankle. She succeeds, yet Maki does not budge. Kugisaki lets out a scream of frustration and kicks her feet. "You had better not get a footprint on my uniform!"

Megumi ignores them and makes his way over to Toge, who glances between him and Yuji and says, "Tuna?"

"Don't worry about it," he mumbles. 

He finds his eyes lingering on Yuji for the rest of the day. Why did he say no? And why does Megumi care so much what his answer was, anyway? It was just a stupid question.

***

Yuji knows that Megumi is… kind of odd. He's a little moody and never laughs at anyone's jokes, never engages in small talk. Still, Yuji considers him a friend. He's a weird guy, but Yuji is weird in a lot of ways too. Vastly different ways, but still. He's not going to hold a little social awkwardness against Megumi. Somewhere behind all the brooding and spiky hair, Megumi is a good guy.

The first years have this kind of- bond. At least, Yuji thought they did. They've grown close in the short time they've known each other (with a little break in between, when he was dead) and he'd risk his life for either of them in a heartbeat. But it's different with Megumi. It's different because… Well, it's obviously because…

Okay, so he likes Megumi! So what? He's cute and smart and cooler than Yuji will ever be. And he's never cared that Megumi doesn't like him back, barely even tolerates him most of the time, because it's just a crush. Yuji's had crushes before. He knows how this goes. You suffer in silence until you are absolutely 100% sure they like you back because if they don't and you make a move, it will be so beyond embarrassing and ruin your friendship forever.

Now Megumi has confirmed he doesn't like Yuji back. And he did it by asking Yuji to be his boyfriend in the most Megumi way possible.

The thing was, despite all that, Yuji almost said yes.

It took every ounce of willpower he possessed to say no to being Megumi's practice boyfriend—or whatever he was suggesting, because it's still not clear—and even though he knows it's super undignified, he's still tempted to go knock on Megumi's door right now and tell him he's changed his mind. Because. It's Megumi. He makes Yuji's heart flutter, and Yuji has wanted to kiss him for several long, torturous months, and now it's actually on the table. Maybe. Does Megumi want to kiss him? Because Yuji really, really wants that.

Yuji glaces over at the digital clock by his bedside. It's two in the morning. He's been waking up every twenty minutes since he went to bed. He sighs and pulls the pillow out from under his head so he can suffocate himself with it instead. It sounds preferable to ruminating on how the hell his crush could've asked him out while admitting he has no feelings for Yuji whatsoever. How does that happen? Only Megumi, he swears…

There's a knock at the door. Yuji bolts upright. It takes him a moment to get to his feet and cross the room. He hesitates before opening the door slowly.

It's Megumi. Standing there in his sleep clothes in the wee hours of the morning. He looks so cute Yuji wants to die.

"Fushiguro?" Yuji asks, heart pounding in his throat. "Is something wrong?"

"Why don't you want to be my boyfriend?" Megumi asks.

Yuji freezes. What… the hell. "It's two in the morning," he replies.

"I know what time it is." Megumi crosses his arms over his chest. "You're obviously not sleeping. So answer the question."

All the air leaves Yuji in a sigh. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want to know why," he insists. "Am I unattractive? Is it because of my hair? Do I smell weird? Was I too forceful? Should I have asked differently?"

"No, no, no, no, and yes, Fushiguro, you should've asked differently!"

"Can I try again?"

Yuji whines in his throat, slumping against the doorframe. "I don't know if I can handle you trying again."

Megumi cocks his head, wordlessly asking for an explanation.

Another sigh, and Yuji is pressing on the door to open it wider. "Just come in," he says, resigned to whatever dumbfuckery this invitation will bring.

Yuji walks over to the bed and sits down while Megumi leans up against the wall. He looks casual and effortlessly beautiful, dressed in loose black clothing with his hair mussed. He lets his upper arm and shoulder rest against the wall, ankles crossed with his arms folded over his chest. Yuji can barely stand to look at him for how badly he wants him.

"I've never had a boyfriend," Megumi starts. "Or a girlfriend. Or friends. People don't like me. That's fine, because I don't care. I don't need you to like me. I just think we should try dating."

"Fushiguro…" Yuji rubs the back of his neck. "The whole point of dating someone is because you like them. Think about it. Would you want to kiss someone you didn't like?"

"No," he answers.

"So there. You don't want to kiss me. So why would you want to date me?"

"I do want to kiss you, though."

Yuji give him a deer-in-the-headlights look, traitorous heart thumping away in his chest. "You do?"

"Yes." Megumi pushes off the wall. "Can I?"

Yuji shakes his head back and forth rapidly, holding out his hands to stop Megumi from advancing. "No, no. You don't understand. Why would I want to kiss someone that doesn't even like me?"

Megumi's brow furrows. "I do like you," he says.

"But not the way I-" Not the way I like you. Yuji doesn't finish the rest. He clenches his hand into a fist and digs it into his forehead. "You don't get it. You're not supposed to just kiss everyone you can tolerate kissing. You're supposed to kiss someone because you… think they're beautiful, and they make your eyes light up when you walk into a room, and you always want to be around them, and you want to hold them close and-" His throat closes up.

He can hear Megumi coming closer. The other boy kneels at his feet, sitting back on his ankles. He doesn't touch Yuji, thank God, but he looks like he wants to. And Yuji really, really wants him to. He desperately wants Megumi to kiss him, but not- not like this. He wants him to mean it.

"I don't understand you," Yuji admits, looking down at his hands in his lap. "Why'd you even ask me? Ask Kugisaki."

"She'd say no. And probably slap me for asking."

"Maybe I should slap you," Yuji says weakly.

"So you don't want to kiss me either?" Megumi asks.

Yuji bites his lip and whispers, "I never said that."

"So you'd let me?" Megumi's hands slide over Yuji's where they rest on his thighs. "If I took your hands and looked you in the eye and told you that you're beautiful, would you let me kiss you?"

Yuji knows as soon as he looks up that it's a mistake. Because there is no universe where Fushiguro Megumi could get on his knees in front of him, ask him for a kiss, and Yuji would say no. Even if he doesn't mean it. Even it's just for practice or a laugh. Yuji has to say yes because if he doesn't he'll spend every waking hour thinking about another world, another timeline where he got to kiss Megumi, and he'll hate himself for choosing to live in this one instead.

Yuji has regrets. The people he's failed to save, the times he's let his friends and teachers down. They swirl in his gut like acid, eating away at his insides. He always tries his best to make the right choice, but he knows now that sometimes there is no right choice. Sometimes you make what you think is the right choice, and it blows up in your face.

This is definitely the wrong choice. He knows that before he makes it. But he still says, "Yes."

A smile curves on Megumi's lips. "You're beautiful," he murmurs, and then their lips meet.

It's a sweet, slow exploration, a calm paddle out to sea against the sunrise. Megumi gives him a few pecks before slotting their mouths together and moving against each other, open-close, a grounding rhythm. A tingling starts from his lips and travels all the way down to his toes. Megumi's hands caress his shoulders and pull him in closer, and Yuji goes, unable or unwilling to resist. And what's the difference? This kiss is a pocket of existence where rules can be bent and logic suppressed so that there is only warm pressure and the longing of one soul to briefly brush another's.

Yuji finds his hands on either side of Megumi's face, thumbing his cheekbones with reverence. Megumi snakes down Yuji's back and grips him around the waist even tighter. The space between them decreases. Yuji can feel Megumi's chest against him, the way it heaves with every breath. He's a little hunched over, and it's not the most comfortable position, but Yuji doesn't dare move. Nothing can pry his mouth from Megumi's. He wants to stay here forever, warm and safe in his embrace, and never face the world outside.

It's bliss. It's wonderful. It's everything. It's worth whatever comes after, even if his heart does end up broken. At least he'll get to say he had this. When he puts his life on the line for someone else, this will be what he thinks of. These little moments that make everything worth it, even the pain and the darkness and the horrible guilt he feels for never being strong enough when it matters.

Megumi pulls away, and Yuji lets out a broken whine. He's just selfish enough to want more. The look on Megumi's face is soft and a little surprised. He's gorgeous like this: dark eyes wide, color in his cheeks. Megumi is usually so stoic and reserved. Yuji likes to think this is a side of him that no one else has seen.

"Thank you," Megumi whispers. He takes one of Yuji's hands and sweeps his fingers across the knuckles, pressing gently over each one.

Yuji doesn't know what to say to that. He's not really able to say anything, in this state, except maybe to blurt that he loves Megumi. It isn't even true. Not yet. But he thinks he could love him one day, and that thought frightens him.

"So will you be my boyfriend?" Megumi asks again, and Yuji nods mutely. A smile spreads across his face. "Good," he says, and leans forward to give Yuji another quick peck.

He gets up and is halfway to the door before Yuji calls out, "Fushiguro. I mean… Megumi." He turns around, giving Yuji an expectant look. The words he was about to say die in his throat. "Sweet dreams," he says instead.

***

Later that morning, Yuji is cooking breakfast when a pair of arms slide around his waist. "Good morning," Megumi says into his shoulder, reaching up to plant a kiss on his neck.

Yuji freezes and flushes bright red. He was in the middle of a conversation with Kugisaki, who has stopped mid-sentence to stare at them.

"What the fuck," she says into the sudden silence. Yuji laughs self-consciously and turns to face her. Megumi follows him, not letting go. "Are you two together now?"

"Yep," says Megumi.

Her jaw drops even further. Then it snaps closed, and her eyes narrow. "When did this happen?"

"Last night," says Yuji.

"This morning," says Megumi at the same time.

Yuji blinks. "Oh. I guess it was this morning." He lifts his spatula in the air and looks sidelong at Megumi. "I, um. Eggs?"

"Yes, please." Megumi releases him to go sit at the table with Kugisaki.

Yuji quickly turns back to the stove, standing there for a second before returning to his task. He hears Kugisaki complain from behind him, "I can't believe that both of you idiots got boyfriends before me. That's sad. It's pathetic. I cannot let it stand."

"If you wanted him, you should've made a move," Megumi replies.

"Ew!" Kugisaki squeals. "No, I don't want him!"

"So you want me?"

"No! What? No!"

"Then why is your face so red?"

There's a slam. "I am not interested in some moody little sea urchin bitch-boy who walks around pouting all the time cause he thinks it makes him seem dark and mysterious!"

"Wow, your type sure is awfully specific," Megumi points out.

"Well, your type is apparently the human personification of a golden retriever, so you have no room to talk."

Yuji clicks off the stove and hurriedly makes his way over to their table with the pan. "Look! Breakfast! So we can all stop talking about this now and eat, okay?"

He really, really doesn't want Kugisaki to know why Megumi wants to date him. Hell, he still isn't clear on why Megumi wants to date him. He wants to kiss Yuji and be sweet and do coupley things, but he doesn't actually like him? Like like him? What kind of sense does that make? Yuji would like to crack open his skull just to get a peek at what the everloving fuck is going on in there.

Kugisaki and Megumi continue to talk about it, though, and spent the rest of breakfast in a heated argument. He sometimes think it's Megumi's own special version of arguing, where he glibly spits facts and tries to get on the other person's nerves while acting totally nonchalant. It's a perfect (i.e. ear-splitting) match for Kugisaki, whose special skill is her ability to turn any word into an insult and get mad at whoever she's arguing with not necessarily because she's actually angry with them but because she wants an excuse to yell at the top of her lungs.

Yuji silently eats his meal, on edge the whole time just in case Kugisaki ever actually asks why Megumi decided to do all of this in the first place, which he would still really like the answer to, but he definitely doesn't want Kugisaki to know. Megumi kisses him on the cheek before he goes to get ready for class, and Kugisaki regards them with a look of disgust.

"Am I gonna have to bear witness to this all the time now?" she asks.

"I- honestly have no idea," Yuji says, hurriedly clearing their plates.

Throughout the next week, Megumi continues to deliver kisses to every visible part of Yuji's body—the hand, the forehead, even the ear. Yuji is slowly starting to relax into it, even get comfortable with it. Still, in the back of his mind there's the thought that Megumi doesn't actually have any feelings for him. He doesn't like Yuji, just thinks he's acceptable to date. And dating Megumi is nice. It is nice to have a boyfriend.

At the same time, it's killing Yuji inside to know that this is not the real thing. Even if it feels like it sometimes, especially when Megumi is the perfect boyfriend in every way. He holds Yuji's hand and watches objectively terrible movies with him, and he complains, but he still agrees and even gets weirdly into it.

Yuji is training with Maki one day, and the weight of this knowledge is slowing his reflexes. He can't stop thinking about how this is all temporary, this is just because Megumi is bored and experimenting, all while Yuji falls for him every day just a little bit more. Maki plows into him and flips him over her shoulder into the dirt. Yuji lands with a grunt.

Maki straddles him with her feet, her staff slamming into the dirt by his head. Her head blocks out the sun, but Yuji still has to shade his eyes as he looks up. "What the hell is wrong with you today?" she asks him.

Yuji groans. He can't take it anymore. He has to tell someone. Maki is probably not the best person to ask about relationships, but at least he knows that she'll give it to him straight. "Megumi doesn't like me," he whines.

Maki frowns and says, "I thought you two were dating."

"We are. But that's just because he wanted a boyfriend. He doesn't actually like me."

"How do you know that?"

"Because he told me," Yuji says morosely.

"He told he doesn't like you… yet you're letting him kiss you anyway?" Yuji nods. "Tch. Learn some self-respect." She thwacks him in the ribs. "Get up."

Yuji gets to his feet. "What do I do, Maki-senpai?"

"Tell him to fuck off," she says, like it's easy. "And keep your hands up!"

She has him on the ground again in two seconds flat.

***

Megumi is innocently sipping a soda when Maki walks by and thwacks him over the head. His face gets smashed into the plastic bottle, though thankfully none of it spills. He turns and glares at her.

"Why are you messing with Itadori?" she asks, hands planted firmly on her hips.

"I'm not messing with him," Megumi replies. "We're dating."

"He says you don't like him. He says you told him that."

Megumi frowns and says, "I never said that."

Maki's narrowed eyes examine him carefully. "Look. You are probably the single dumbest smart person I know, so let me make this very clear for you: do not break that poor boy's heart 'cause of some stupid game."

"It's not a game." Megumi screws the cap on his bottle. "I'm dating Itadori because I want to, and he's cute."

"Hmm. Have you told him that?"

"I tell him that all the time," he insists.

Maki lets out an exasperated sigh. "Well then, what's the problem?" she asks, holding both hands out.

"There is no problem! Butt out of my relationship!" He gets to his feet and stalks away.

Maki stands there for a moment glaring at the bench, utterly confused. "Boys," she spits, and heads to the showers.

***

So Maki was no help. Yuji tries Kugisaki next. "How do you know if someone's taking advantage of you?"

Kugisaki looks up slowly from her fashion magazine, one perfectly-plucked copper eyebrow raised. "Excuse me?" she asks.

Yuji sits down on the couch next to her, flinging his feet up on the middle cushion. "Megumi and I aren't really dating. He just wants to kiss me."

"And do you want to kiss him?" she asks carefully.

"Well, yeah," he admits.

"So…?"

Yuji heaves a melodramatic sigh. "You don't understand," he whines. "He just wanted a boyfriend, and I said yes."

"So you think he's just with you because… what, it's convenient?"

He snaps his fingers and says, "Yes, exactly! I'm convenient. He doesn't actually want to date me. I mean, why would he?"

Kugisaki shrugs and flips a page. "Kind of just sounds like you're being insecure."

"I'm not!" Yuji insists. He throws his head back, groaning. "He doesn't like me!"

Her expression flattens. She pulls the magazine onto her chest, lacing her fingers over the spine. "Itadori, I say this with all seriousness." Yuji leans forward, eager for her wisdom. "You are a colossal fucking idiot."

Yuji pouts.

"I mean it," she goes on. "Really, just the most massive idiot of all time. You're so stupid you might even deserve him as a punishment."

"But he said-"

"Fushiguro says a lot of things. Don't listen to what he says. Pay attention to what he does."

Yuji cocks his head. She might be onto something. "Like how he treats me?"

"Yes. Look, if there's one thing I've learned about boys, it's that they're all talk. They tell you you're the most beautiful thing they've ever seen, they say you're the only one for them, then as soon as they get in your pants, poof! They're gone. That's why you cannot trust any nice things a man says to you. You have to objectively consider whether his actions line up with his words." She lifts up her pointer finger. "Or you can always just trick them into telling you the truth."

"Okay…" Yuji is frowning, thinking hard. "How do I do that?"

She gives him a wicked smile. "I'm so glad you asked."

***

"Megumi," Yuji says, "would you love me if I were a worm?"

"What."

Yuji reaches for the remote to pause the TV. Megumi is spooning him on the couch, his arm slung over Yuji's abs. They've been dating for almost three weeks now, and this is how they watch movies. Megumi likes having Yuji in his arms. He likes kissing Yuji, he likes cuddling with Yuji. He's glad he had this idea on that random Wednesday.

Yuji sets the popcorn on the floor, then flips around so he's facing Megumi, almost falling off the couch in the process. He has to cling onto Megumi so he still fits. "If I were a worm," he says, brows furrowed together tightly, "would you still want to be with me?"

Megumi cocks his head and asks, "Would you kiss a worm?"

"Um. Well, no."

"Then why do you think I would kiss a worm?" he asks.

Yuji huffs. "Is kissing you all I'm good for?"

Megumi frowns and says, "No. You also make me food, which you couldn't do if you were a worm."

"Yeah, but even if I couldn't make you food, I'd still be me. I'd still be Yuji. Just a worm instead of a person."

Megumi just blinks for a moment. What is happening right now? Why is Yuji asking him such an inane question? Megumi sighs and puts a little thought into it, because apparently it matters to Yuji. "How did you get turned into a worm?" he asks.

"It doesn't matter."

"It kind of matters," he disagrees. "If a curse turned you into a worm, I would change you back. I wouldn't break up with you just because you were temporarily a worm. But also, I'm not gonna kiss a worm."

"I'm not asking you to kiss a worm!" Yuji squeals. "I'm just saying-"

"You're just saying what? This is a really stupid question."

"What if you couldn't change me back?" Yuji asks desperately. "What if I was stuck as a worm forever? Would you still love me?"

Megumi rolls his eyes. "I don't love you now. Why would I love worm-Yuji?"

Yuji's eyes start to water. "I knew it," he whispers.

He pushes away and catches himself on the floor where he falls, then quickly gets to his feet. Megumi calls his name, but he continues to storm away until Megumi surges forward and catches him by the hand. No way is he about to let his boyfriend get teary and run away without going after him.

"Yuji, come on," he says calmly, like he's trying to soothe a cornered animal. "Why are you upset? Where'd that question even come from?"

Yuji doesn't turn around. "Kugisaki," he admits.

Megumi sighs. "I knew it was some dumb girl question." He winds his arms around Yuji's waist and pulls him in. "Is it a problem that I don't love you? I thought we were on the same page."

"What page is that?" Yuji flips himself around, and Megumi's hands shift to his hips. "What is all this for, Megumi? You said yourself, you don't even care if it's me."

Megumi's head tilts to the side. "Does it bother you that I said it like that?"

"Yes," Yuji whines. "Yes, it bothers me a lot! I want you to want to date me."

"But I am dating you."

Yuji sighs and places his head on Megumi's shoulder. "Never mind," he says into his shirt.

"Yuji," he says softly. Yuji lifts his head, looking up at him with those pretty eyes. "I'm glad it was you. You turned out to be a really good choice."

That just makes Yuji's face scrunch up even more. "That doesn't make me feel any better."

"Will daifuku make you feel better?" Megumi asks.

Yuji's lower lip juts out in a pronounced pout, which he hold for three seconds before saying, "Maybe."

"Then let's go get some daifuku."

***

The daifuku at the convenience store comes in three flavors: matcha, anko, and plum. Megumi asks Yuji which one he wants, but Yuji only continues to blink at the display. Megumi pokes him in the shoulder hard enough to make him sway a little.

"Yuji," he says again, "what do you want?"

Yuji turns to him with a heartbroken face and says, "I don't know. I don't know what I want. I just…"

Megumi wraps his arms around his boyfriend. "Do you want me to decide for you?"

"Yeah." Yuji relaxes in his arms. "You decide. I'll just follow your lead, okay?"

"Uh… okay." Megumi shifts his head to the other side. "I don't really like matcha, and the plum ones look a little suspicious. Let's get anko."

"Okay," says Yuji.

When Megumi tries to pull away to pick up the package, Yuji holds him tight. "Yuji?" he asks. "Are you okay?" He feels Yuji shake his head. "What do you need?"

"Why did you ask me to be your boyfriend?"

"We've been over this," Megumi reminds him. "I thought you would make a good boyfriend, so I asked you. You said yes. Here we are. Did I miss anything?"

Yuji whines into his shoulder and mumbles, "I think we should break up."

Megumi freezes. "Okay," he says unsurely. "Did I… do something wrong?"

Yuji shakes his head.

"Then why do you want to break up with me?"

"Because," Yuji says with a deep sigh. He finally lifts his head. "Every day I wake up and think of you, and I smile like an idiot. Every time I'm in your arms I never want to leave. Every time you kiss me I fall for you a little harder."

"Oh," says Megumi. "Okay, then. I guess that's not really surprising, given the circumstances."

Yuji stares at him. Megumi stares back.

"So are you gonna do it?" Megumi asks.

Yuji frowns and says, "Do what?"

"Break up with me."

"I…" Yuji looks even more upset. "I thought you'd break up with me."

"But I don't want to break up with you."

"You… don't?"

Megumi shakes his head. "You could fall in love with me if you want. I wouldn't mind."

Yuji's expression goes from tortured to confused to what the fuck. "You wouldn't mind? Ha!" He takes a step back and bends forward slightly, clutching his chest. What on earth is wrong with him? He laughs shakily. "He wouldn't mind," Yuji says to himself. "He wouldn't mind. Oh, God. Oh, fuck."

Megumi is starting to get a little bit worried. He reaches out to Yuji, and Yuji slaps his hand away. When he looks back at Megumi, he looks really angry. Megumi's eyes widen.

"You dickhead," says Yuji. "I really don't mean anything to you, do I? You actually thought you could just kiss me and hold my hand and watch terrible movies with me, and I'd just go along with it and not say anything?"

Megumi cocks his head and says, "Isn't that what you've been doing?"

This is evidently the wrong thing to say, because Yuji looks even more furious. "I can't believe you!" he hisses. He walks right past Megumi and out of the store. Megumi watches him go, wondering the fuck just happened.

***

It's three in the morning this time when Megumi knocks on Yuji's door. He knows he's not asleep. He knows that Yuji knows it's him. Who else would it be? He doesn't expect Yuji to answer. He did kind of fuck this up.

You see, he's figured it out. He gets why Yuji was upset. Yuji doesn't want to be in love with someone like Megumi. Megumi can't even be mad about that because he gets it. He's prickly and not very friendly, he's a little bit of a know-it-all, and he's not terribly attractive. Even though he's not ashamed to be with Yuji, Yuji is ashamed to be with him. He probably only agreed out of pity, and now he's realized he's totally out of Megumi's league, and he can do much better. That's fine. It was always a long shot anyway.

Still… Megumi is going to miss him. He liked having a boyfriend. He liked that it was Yuji, and he thinks that even if Yuji doesn't accept his apology, they can still be friends.

Yuji answers the door.

"I'm sorry," Megumi says immediately. "Can we talk?"

Yuji glances at the ground. "There's nothing to talk about. I told you how I feel, and you told me how you feel."

Megumi scrunches his nose and says, "No, I didn't."

The other boy stares at the floor for a long minute before his gaze slowly lifts up. "I… guess you didn't," he says cautiously. He makes an unhappy noise in his throat. "I guess you might as well tell me. Maybe it'll help me get over you."

"Can I come in?"

Yuji shrugs and opens the door to let him in.

They take the same position as before. Megumi leans back against the wall, trying to figure out how to say this. "I know you're mad at me," he starts. "And I get why. I know you don't want to be in love with me. I wouldn't want to, either."

"Don't say that," Yuji says slowly.

"No, it's true. I'm not an easy person to love."

"Megumi-"

"Even though I do well in school, I'm kind of stupid about a lot of things," he explains. "I can't really tell what people want from me, so I kind of just do whatever I want." He shrugs. "Whatever the consequences are, I'll face them. But I didn't consider the consequences this time, and I'm sorry." He takes a deep breath and goes on, "I know I don't deserve you. Fuck, I don't deserve anything. No one deserves anything. We get what we get, and there's no point crying about it. I guess I just thought that if I could have you- Well. The rest of it wouldn't seem so bad."

Yuji is suddenly in front of him, his hand lighting on Megumi's shoulder. "Megumi-" he tries again, but Megumi's not done.

"I know I'm a mess. And I'll never get the words right, no matter how much I try. I just want you to know that-" He takes Yuji's hand, trailing his lips over the back of it. "This time we've spent together meant a lot to me. I wish it had lasted longer."

He finally lifts his eyes to Yuji's to see a stunned expression. "How much longer?" he asks hoarsely.

Megumi shrugs. "I don't know. Until we die, I guess."

"Megumi," says Yuji, and there's something like a warning in his tone. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I… don't know. What do you think I'm saying?"

Yuji takes a deep breath, like he's trying to steady himself. "How do you feel about me?"

Megumi frowns and says, "I've never really thought about it."

"So think about it," he says. He leans forward, trailing his fingers over Megumi's jaw. "How does this feel?"

Megumi closes his eyes and focuses on the sensation. "It feels nice," he says. "Your fingers are rough and warm. I like how warm you are all the time. It reminds me of the sun."

Next, Yuji's fingers twist through his in a gentle but firm grip. "How does this feel?"

"It feels like I'm safe. It reminds me that we're both here, alive, together. I wish you'd never let go."

"When you think about me… what do you think about?"

Megumi's mouth twists as he pictures Yuji in his mind. "I think about your smile. Every time you smile at me, I forget how to breathe. It's like the world just stops for a second. When I can't sleep, I think about you holding me. When I'm hurt, I think about burying my face in your hair. I think about it even when I shouldn't, because out of everything I care about in this world, you're the one thing I know I'll never really lose. Even when you're not here, it feels like you'll always be with me."

Yuji's breath is shaking as he whispers, "How long have you felt these things?"

"Since you died," he answers easily. "You took a piece of me with you. I like knowing that you have it so that wherever you go, I'm there too."

Suddenly Yuji's lips are on his, and Megumi's eyes fly open. They flutter closed again as Yuji kisses him. He's a little confused—you generally don't kiss people you've broken up with, do you? Megumi just came here for closure, but here Yuji is kissing him like they're both about to go down with the Titanic. Maybe it's a goodbye kiss? In that case, Megumi will give it everything he's got.

He slips his tongue between Yuji's lips, licking into his mouth and letting out a pleased hum at the taste. Yuji tastes like fucking sunshine, practically secretes it from every pore. Megumi's really grown to like kissing him, more than he ever thought he would. He may not be very practiced at this, but as he flicks his tongue around Yuji's warm mouth, he thinks it doesn't really matter. When you're with someone, if you like them-

Megumi suddenly pulls Yuji back by the shoulders. "Yuji," he says urgently, "I think I like you."

Yuji laughs breathlessly. "Yeah? You think so?"

"Yeah. I-" He feels like a freight truck just hit him in the chest. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you fall in love with me. I know you didn't want to, and I didn't mean to do it-"

Yuji covers his mouth and says, "Ssh, ssh. Megumi, I swear to God, whatever you think I'm thinking right now, you're totally and 100% wrong."

"Am I?" Megumi asks, muffled by Yuji's hand.

"You're terrible at reading people. For real, you can't even read yourself."

Megumi frowns. He tries to pull Yuji's hand off, but Yuji is much stronger, and he firmly holds it there.

"Everything you just said is what it feels like to be in love." Megumi's brow flies to his hairline. He… never thought about it that way. Yuji keeps going, "And that's how I feel about you, too. I mean…?" He sighs, but there's a smile on his face. "I mean, it's only been three weeks. It's probably pretty crazy to say 'I love you' after three weeks of dating, right? I don't know if I'm in love with you yet, maybe I am, that's pretty weird to say, isn't it? Isn't that kind of weird?" He looks at Megumi, only seeming to realize then that his hand is still over his mouth. "Sorry."

"You mean to say," Megumi says, carefully enunciating each syllable, "that I have been in love with you this whole time?"

Yuji shrugs. "I mean, maybe? There's not really like… a how-to guide or any particular rules you have to follow, but like…?" He shrugs again.

Megumi nods faintly. "Oh. Okay." He begins to nod, slowly at first and then very quickly. "Yeah. Okay. That's fine. I can handle that. I can absolutely handle that."

"It's okay," says Yuji, his hands gripping Megumi's shoulders tightly. "Don't panic. We'll get through this together."

"So… are we still broken up?" he asks.

Yuji laughs and kisses him again.

***

"Kugisaki! Kugisaki!"

Itadori is running at her in the hallway. Nobara quickly flattens herself against the wall as he comes to a screeching halt. She looks at him like he's a psycho, because he is. He looks like he just ran across the entire school. "What the hell do you want?" she asks him.

"Have you seen Megumi?"

Nobara gives him a flat look. "Since when is it my job to keep track of your boyfriend?"

He looks back at her sheepishly. "Haha, yeah. My boyfriend." Is it just her, or does he look a little stupider than usual? Nobara cocks her head at him, wondering if he's lost a few brain cells since yesterday. "I was just wondering because he said he was going to get me a soda and to meet him in class, but I just went to the vending machines, and he's not there. So I didn't know where he went, and I thought maybe he was already here."

"Okay, well…" Nobara gestures at the empty hallway. "He's not."

Itadori's face falls. "Oh. Okay. Maybe he went back to his dorm really quick? He, um. Well. He. Didn't spend the night in there."

Nobara raises an eyebrow. "Oh? So he said he would love you if you were a worm?"

"Uh… no. He said he wouldn't love me whether I was a worm or not."

She nods slowly. "And you gave it up anyway, huh?"

Itadori laughs and says, "Ah, well-"

Nobara smacks him over the head with her notebook. He looks surprised. He shouldn't be. "That is exactly the opposite of what I told you to do. Why did you ask for my advice if you weren't going to follow it?"

"Yeah, it's kind of a funny story-"

"Never mind," she interrupts him. "I don't care." She pushes into the classroom.

Gojo-sensei is already inside. He gives her a meddlesome look and asks, "What's the tea?"

"I need a boyfriend so I don't get outpaced by these losers," she replies.

"They're kind of sweet, huh?"

"It's literally the most disgusting thing I've ever witnessed, and I fight ugly, cursed nightmares all the fucking time." Itadori and Fushiguro walk into class holding hands, and Nobara rolls her eyes and says, "I hate this."

Approximately two seconds after Gojo has clapped his hands and started class, Fushiguro raises his hand. "Yes, Megumi-kun?" Gojo asks.

"I need you two to help settle a debate," he announces.

Gojo's eyes light up. "I'd be honored," he says, hand to his chest.

Fushiguro jerks his thumb towards Itadori. "This idiot insists I'm in love with him. Do you agree or disagree?"

"Agree!" Gojo says immediately.

"Kugisaki?"

She glares at them both. "You've been clinging to him like a wet noodle for the last three and a half weeks, and you're seriously asking me that question? What are you trying to do, rub your happiness in my single face? Pathetic. Keep your revolting Hallmark-movie love out of this classroom, you nasty pieces of shit." She flips him off, turns her attention back to Gojo, and says calmly, "Please continue, Gojo-sensei."

Itadori turns to Fushiguro and says, "Told you, babe."

Fushiguro rolls his eyes. "Fine," he says and leans over to peck his boyfriend on the lips.

"PDA!" Nobara screams. "Gojo, tell them that's not allowed! This is not conducive to a learning environment."

Gojo holds up his pointer finger and says, "I, Gojo Satoru, strongest sorcerer alive, hereby declare that anyone who kisses anyone in this classroom must also kiss Kugisaki so that she doesn't feel left out."

Nobara slams both hands down on her desk. "No! Goddamit sensei, act your fucking age for once!"

"No thanks," says Gojo, sticking out his tongue. "Anyway, as I was saying-"

Nobara spends the rest of her day fuming. Itadori and Fushiguro continue to be disgusting, shoving their relationship in her face every chance they get. God. She really needs a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. She doesn't really care, at this point. Maybe she'll ask Maki if she wants to be in a relationship, just to prove to these idiots that she can be just as annoying as they are.

A slow smile spreads across Nobara's face. That's actually not a bad idea.