Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Drip. Drip. Drip.

The dark world didn’t always mirror the light world. Except for on days like these.

Patter. Patter. Patter.

There was something lonely about the way it rained here. The way the rain sounded, the way it fell. It was like an echo of a song, raging somewhere too far above for the darkners to see.

Like a euphony from Heaven.

Sitting beside the window of his room, Tenna watched the rain fall gently from the abyss above the castle town. No clouds announced its presence, it simply… Was. It trickled downwards onto the empty, shimmering streets of darkness below.

Not many darkners stirred in the storm. Tenna recognized a few Pippins, making a mad dash down the rainy road and sheltering in one of the glowing shops. But after that? He was left staring at his own dimly lit screen, reflected in the window.

He hadn’t been able to sleep, not since coming to castle town. Despite being surrounded by more darkners than he could remember, Tenna felt more isolated than ever. Kris and Susie must’ve been busy in the light world, because they’d had yet to find him a new home.

Maybe they couldn’t find anyone who wants me. Tenna wasn’t surprised by how dismal the thought made him feel. It was one he’d been anticipating, after all. This was the cycle he was doomed to repeat forever, wasn’t it? Reduced to nothing but an obsolete piece of junk with no use. No purpose.

He shrank away from the window.

His room was empty, to say the least. He’d been optimistic coming to castle town. Susie had promised him the lightners would find him a new home, right? He hadn’t wanted to get too comfortable in his temporary setup!

But now… Now it seemed like he would have to.

Maybe I should talk to Ralsei soon… He thought, one of his antennas twitching. It seemed like giving up. If he asked Ralsei to help make his room more, well, room-like, would he feel content just… Staying in castle town? Unused? Unneeded?

Unwanted?

Tenna took a deep breath, and pushed himself to his feet. The dark, empty room intimidated him. He’d not been here for long, only a night or so, but he hardly felt at ease here. He knew he should give it a chance, it hadn’t been that long. It might just take a while for Susie and Kris to find a lightner who wants me.

Even so… Loneliness seemed to permeate from the barren walls. Now that the initial novelty of Tenna’s room had worn off, Elnina and Lanino had gone off to find a place of their own. They had taken that strange lamp along with them, too (or rather it… Followed them?) Even the water cooler seemed to have better places to be than hanging out in Tenna’s dark, gloomy room.

The last time he felt this alone and helpless was…

Was…

An old memory played like an overplayed VHS in his mind. Discolored static seemed to linger around the edges of it, but even so, Tenna knew he could never forget his face. A brilliant smile, laugh lines permanently etched beside his eyes, and smooth, dark hair.

A familiar, dull ache pulled at Tenna’s chest. Then he shook his head, and the vision dissipated. One of his antennas sparked irritably. “Good , Tenna! You are NOT thinking about him right now!”

Oh, but he certainly was. He flicked his cord on the unwelcoming floor, and the frustration seemed to melt into something less fiery. Misery poured through Tenna like the rain outside, and though nothing in the room had changed, he felt somehow colder.

He’d been thinking about him more and more lately. Ever since his poor little pipis had ended up on the ground, outside of her safe little drawer. Ever since that… Thing had threatened her.

“[Trash heap]!!! YOU KEPT IT!!! YOU REALLY DO CARE!!!”

“DON’T YOU RECOGNIZE…”

Tenna’s screen dimmed. Something about it had been so familiar, and yet… It couldn’t have been him, there was no way. Its skin had been cracked, porcelain and artificial. His had been soft to the touch. Its feathery hair had been unkempt and frayed. He would have never let it get that bad. That voice, too, all robotic and wrong. Of course it wasn’t him.

And yet here Tenna stood, still thinking about it. If it really had been him, what in the world possessed him to come back? Especially after what he did, did he think Tenna would welcome him with open arms?

No, it couldn’t have been him, Tenna decided. It must just be my nightmares finally driving me crazy.

Knock, knock, knock.

Tenna whirled around. Someone was at the door.

As quickly as he could manage, he smoothed over his composure. He forced his antennae up from their sad, droopy position, and opened the door.

Tenna had to look down to see his visitor. Small pink horns and fluffy white fur greeted him there, and Tenna felt all his anxiety about talking to Ralsei bubble up again. The prince was holding something vaguely box-shaped, though a dusty white cloth was draped over it, obscuring what it was. Curiosity made Tenna tilt his head slightly to the side.

Tenna tried not to let Ralsei see the way his tail twitched. “Oh, Ralsei! It’s to see you!”

Ralsei smiled up at Tenna with those furrowed, always worried-looking eyes of his. Tenna wasn’t sure if he looked extra troubled tonight, or if that was just his default expression.

“Good afternoon, Tenna.” Ralsei greeted, politely inclining his head. Tenna watched as the prince turned his gaze down to the covered box in his hands. “I’m sorry to bother you, but… This showed up alongside the darkners from your TV world.”

Tenna suddenly went rigid. No… This can’t be—can it? Surely not! He thought he’d left that behind ages ago!

Ralsei held the dusty box out, “I asked around, and I think it belongs to you.”

Tenna hesitated. Indecision paralyzed him for a brief moment, but he eventually did reach down to take the old box from Ralsei. It was familiarly heavy in his grasp, with a decent weight to it.

“... Thank you.” Tenna finally spoke after an agonizingly silent glance between himself and Ralsei. He cleared his throat, and put on a smile. “I’ll… See if I have a place for this! After all, I don’t wanna get too cozy!”

Coward. Tenna scolded himself.

Ralsei smiled, though the way his eyes held a sort of sadness to them—even though they were closed—made Tenna’s heart sink. He doesn’t think anyone will want me, either.

“I’m glad to hear it!” Ralsei said, casting one last worried glance at the dust-covered object in Tenna’s hands. “Don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you ever need anything, okay? I want castle town to seem like home to you, even if you won’t be staying here forever.”

Tenna’s antennae twitched. Something nice about not having “eyes” was that others couldn’t really tell when you narrowed them. “Right! I’ll make sure to keep that in mind.” He hoped his tone came off as more light and pleasant than he felt.

“Happy to help.” Ralsei dipped his head politely again, before waving goodbye. There was something urgent about the way he took off down the hall. It wasn’t quite a run, but he definitely had somewhere to be. Tenna vaguely wondered what that was about, but he didn’t think much of it.

He had something else to worry about.

He closed the door softly, and stared down at the object in his hands. Carefully, he sat down on the cold floor, and placed it down in front of him. One shaky, gloved hand reached forward, and pulled the covering off.

It was exactly what he’d been expecting. His ancient landline phone. It was nothing fancy, an old, yellow receiver, connected to a boxy answering machine. It was bland. With a dark gray body, and a tinted, transparent sheet of plastic, which covered the two cassette tapes callers could record messages on.

He hadn’t thought about this thing in years. Probably over a decade now, if he were to guess. Usually, he just took calls directly through his antennas, he’d only ever used this thing back in the glory days.

Back when he was still around.

There his thoughts went again, circling back around to him. Fire burned just below the surface of Tenna’s stifling loneliness. He’d left this phone behind for a reason. It was full of too many bitter memories of late night calls. That's why he’d been ignoring it for so long. Even going so far as to leave it in an old room with the handset off its switch hook. That way he couldn’t even hear it ring.

And yet, a sad nostalgia pushed him onwards. One gentle hand reached for the phone’s handset, and placed it back on its dock. Nothing happened.

One antenna twitching, Tenna searched for the system’s power cord. Finding it wrapped around the back of the answering machine, he unravelled it, and held it to the end of his own.

A spark from the tip of his tail made the old system flare to life. A small tune played, and a red indicator light on the answering machine’s face lit up. Tenna stared at it, memory pulling at his consciousness.

That was the light that indicated missed messages.

Tenna’s chest tightened as he leaned forward. He lifted up the tinted plastic that protected the cassette tapes inside, a chill running along his back. Who had been calling him? How old were these left messages?

The pounding in his chest grew louder and louder. A trembling hand reached towards the answering machine, and pressed play.

Chapter Text

“Tenna!”

Tenna’s chest hurt from how fast it was whirring.

That was him.

That was him.

And he was calling out for Tenna .

“Spamton…” Tenna breathed. It had been so, so long since he’d last heard his voice. Despite himself, and despite the burning flames in his mind, he felt a horrible, icy longing spread throughout his whole body.

For a moment—just one moment—maybe he could pretend things were the way they used to be. Like nothing bad had ever happened between him and his old partner. Like they were still young, stupid stars taking on the world. The background noise of the rain outside made it so easy to slip back into that mindset. Like static playing on a TV, it felt like not worrying about anything at all.

But he couldn’t pretend for long. Spamton’s voice, fuzzy-sounding on the cassette tape, continued.

“Tenna—” Spamton seemed out of breath, and his voice was pained. Tenna felt the heat of his anger turn suddenly to ice. Something was very wrong.

“Straight to your answering machine? Right now? Agh—” His ragged, heavy breathing was followed up by the sound of approaching footsteps. Spamton’s own stumbling, clumsy pace clacked against smooth, hardtile floors.

“Tenna, listen! I—fuck—I need your help!” Tenna had never heard this kind of desperation in Spamton’s voice before. “I know—” He sighed, a long, agonized sound. “I—I’m sorry, okay? I think—I, I didn’t mean to leave you! I really didn’t! But the—the—”

A sharp gasp of agony from the cassette made Tenna grip his tail. “I wasn’t… I wasn’t honest with you, I’ll admit it.” Spamton’s voice struggled, though Tenna couldn’t tell if it was because of his stubborn pride, or pain. “There’s something I need to tell you about—Wait!”

Spamton cried, “No! NO! You can’t take him too! Give it—” He was being dragged away, cut off by whoever his persecutor was. “Stop! Stop! Where are you taking me? Wait! Tenna! TENNA!”

Spamton’s captors were silent, even as he struggled and screamed in their grasp. “LET ME GO! LET ME—LET ME—” The whooshing of wind played over the speaker, but it was swiftly overtaken when a terrible, spine-chilling scream echoed throughout the room. “NO! NO! TENNA! It burns! Ow! Stop! Help me! It—”

The cassette abruptly stopped with the sound of a second, smaller splash, and a sizzle.

Tenna was trembling, staring at the answering machine in disbelief and dismay. His fingers were clasped tightly around his power cord, and his jaw was set. What… What the hell was that? Had he just listened to Spamton… Die?

No, no… Surely not, surely he was fine… Wasn’t he?

Why do I care?

TENNA! It burns! Ow! Stop! Help me!

What had happened to him? And why, oh why had Tenna not picked up the phone? He was calling for me. He needed me. And where was I?

Guilt and regret for something he hadn’t known about until now was crawling down his back. Had he been angry with Spamton for so long over something that was out of his control?

No, of course not. I knew him. This was… This must’ve been something he deserved. Something he brought upon himself.

The answering machine played a small tune, and Tenna looked up. Tears blurred his vision (how was he crying, anyways?) but he was still able to make out the red voice message indicator. The only light in the dark aside from his own dim glow.

It was still on… Was there more?

Tenna pried his hand away from his tail, and reached forwards to press play a second time.

The cassette whirred into life. “TENNA!” It was Spamton’s voice again. Tenna was surprised by how much relief he felt, knowing Spamton had survived whatever had been tormenting him.

He’s alive.

No—Why do I care? Tenna’s power cord sparked, but the fire that fueled his anger had been stifled by the guilt, then the relief. He screwed me over because he’s selfish and horrible.

… Didn’t he?

“TEN—T— [[TRASH HEAP]] !!!  ANSWER—ANS…” Spamton trailed off. His angry voice sputtered into a horrible, unearthly cough that dripped with anguish. It seemed garbled and mangled, as if his mouth wasn’t quite… Right.

Tenna made out a sob, but Spamton continued in that same, uncanny voice. “YOU [[Good for nothing]] !!” A frustrated growl cut through the static. “NO! NO! THAT’S NOT—”

Tenna’s tail flicked. Though his brow remained furrowed in concern, the wonderment of hearing Spamton’s voice again was starting to fade. Especially now that it was…

It was…

Wrong.

Wrong in an all too familiar way.

“Trash heap…”

He heard a shattering crash, like something made of glass had just been chucked at a nearby wall full force. “ [$!X$] [$!X$] THAT DAMN—THAT DAMN [[ventrilioquor]] !! I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW I’D NEVER REALLY [[make it BIG!]] I CAN'T- I CAN'T…”

There was a brief break where all Tenna could hear was frustrated crying and… Banging? It sounded like plastic or porcelain being slammed against a metal bin over and over.

“ [7!$$] ! I—I CAN’T [7!$$] ING—MY [[voice box]] IS [ROTTING AWAY.] ”

Spamton’s breathing was heavy again, but this time it seemed like he was only exerting himself by being so angry. Not like he was running for his life. “PICK UP THE D4MN [[RING RING!!]] FOR [heaven] ’S SAKE! DON’T FORGET OUR CONTRACT! OUR [HOT DEAL!] DID OUR [friend request accepted] MEAN NOTHING TO YOU??”

Hot rage flared in Tenna’s mind again. He didn’t owe Spamton anything. He had been the one to get up and leave first! He had been the one who ran away with his secrets! Why was he acting so entitled? So betrayed?

Because that’s exactly how I felt when he wasn’t there for me . The realization made Tenna feel sick. His head spun, and the guilt crept in all over again.

There was another long bout of silence, occasionally broken up by a mutter or sob.

“I… I DON’T KNOW WH4T’S HAPPENING.” Spamton finally managed to speak, though more strained, fearful, and robotic than before. “I DIDN’T KNOW THIS WAS PART OF OUR [deal!] THIS ISN’T WHAT I [[wanting!]] I’M—I’M…”

Spamton’s breathing quickened until he was hyperventilating. 

“WHY CAN’T I..? WHY C caAN’T I [[turn it up!]] I WANTED TO BB E [BIG!] I NEVER WANTED [[nothing-!]] [[$4.99!]] ”

Spamton’s breathing suddenly stopped, and Tenna’s heart jumped. What happened? He looked down, and realized the tape had just stopped playing. His shoulders relaxed. The message was over.

His antennae twitched, and he ran a hand over them with a sigh. He was starting to put the pieces together into a picture. It was… Heavy.

Despite all these years of seeing Spamton as nothing more than a selfish prick, he felt powerless alone in the dark room. With just himself, and Spamton’s last horrific attempts to reach out.

He had loved him at one point, hadn’t he?

Oh, more than anything.

And these tapes… They seemed to hold some of Spamton’s most traumatic, most vulnerable memories. And he decided to share them with me. Even though he never picked up the call, even though he ignored the phone if it rang… He recorded these messages for Tenna anyways.

He really did love me back…

No he didn’t! He’s just trying to manipulate me!

That may have been true, after all. Spamton wasn’t above sweet-talking to get what he wanted (although Tenna would be lying if he said he was above that himself), though these messages? Tenna could hardly consider either of them sweet.

All they did for him was freak him out.

He stared down at the answering machine, rigid and still. The red light remained on, and another brief jingle played.

There was more.

Chapter Text

Tenna pressed play.

Vzz…

The cassette droned into life, and Tenna leaned in close. This message was quieter than the other two had been by a long shot. Almost as if Spamton had called without knowing what to say.

He was still hoping I would pick up, wasn’t he?

“... [Cathode] .” Spamton’s voice was dull and automatic. Even through the speaker of the answering machine, Tenna could tell it was more resigned than before. Like Spamton had started to accept that this was just… What he had to live with from now on.

A stuttering sigh came through, and Tenna felt the misery it held rush through his core. “YOU… YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO [[give us a call!]] , ARE YOU? DO YOU EVEN [Listen!]   ??” He was silent for a long time after that, save for a few stifled chirping noises.

“... THAT’S… That’s…” A weak, defeated laugh turned into a suppressed whimper. “It’s… It’s fine…”

His voice was so quiet, Tenna had to lean further forwards to make it out. He tried to adjust the volume dial, but the answering machine could only get so loud. His chest hurt .

It may have been his imagination, or maybe it was the way he had to strain to hear Spamton, but… His voice had almost seemed right for a moment. Like he was still the old Spamton, the one Tenna had known.

The one he had loved.

Spamton continued. “Hahah… I should’ve… I should’ve known it was t—too— [[too good to be true!]] .” There was a rustling of fabric, and a deep, shuddering exhale. “ [7#$$] .”

He laughed, a humorless, defeated thing. “Did you ever really… Were we… Was what we had—”

He took a deep breath. “Was it…”

A long pause followed.

Was it real? Tenna wondered in the silence. His screen flickered, falling into darkness. Were we really…

“... [[Forget about it.]] ” Spamton broke the silence with that new, awful, speaker-like voice… And the tape clicked. It had stopped playing.

Disappointment weighed heavily on Tenna’s shoulders. His composure fell as he stared down at the answering machine, shaking. “You… Stupid fuck.” His whisper wavered.

Emotion surged through him in tidal waves, wracking his body to its core. Anger, guilt, regret, fury, grief… Why did Spamton have to be such a prideful asshole? Why couldn’t he just tell Tenna why?

Why did things have to go so wrong?

Tenna’s fingers traced along the side of the old answering machine, gliding with the tenderness of a lover.

Why did you leave?

Why did you leave the handset hanging?

Why did you leave me?

His hand twitched, and one of his claws scraped a shallow divot into the answering machine’s side.

… And why did you come back?

There had to be more, right? There had to be more messages recorded on these cassettes. Tenna’s antennae twitched as the tune announcing another message rang out. His wobbly hand fell in place, and he pressed play again.

“ENTRY NO. [[ONE]] ”

It was still from Spamton. Even if his voice was… Wrong.

Entry? Was he using these voice messages as a journal?

“ [[IT’S TV TIME!]] , I know at this point… You’re nev—NEVER GOING TO [hear me!] ” The chattering of… Teeth? Fake teeth? Came on over the speaker. “... WHY?”

“WHERE DID… WHERE— [[Where did our      go!?]] ” Spamton sucked in a breath. The faint white noise of static could be heard over the tape.

“... I… I miss you.”

“ [[Cathode]] ...”

“... I—I REALLY I—I RE4LLY—”

“I FINALLY< [[7!$$]] ED UP [BIGGEST TIME!] , DIDN’T/ I?”

“That”s why… That’s why…”

“... How long have I been [doing that] for?”

“... How long have—H0W—H—” He broke off with a sharp breath, and a sob. The static faded.

Tenna pulled himself in closer, cradling his knees in front of his chest. Spamton was definitely struggling with his new voice. It was like he was being censored . Resigned to this sporadic, robotic timbre. Forced to play audio clips from who knows where, instead of being free to say what he was thinking.

Spamton had already been so bad at communicating effectively before, this was just cruel.

It’s probably his own fault that this happened. Tenna reminded himself. He brought this upon himself. He should’ve realized… He should’ve…

What had Spamton done to deserve this? To deserve being tortured and mutilated? To deserve having his voice ripped away from him?

What sin warranted these consequences?

It’s not like he made good use of it anyways. Tenna thought coldly. Before today, he would’ve been able to have the thought with a clear conscience. He’d have been able to defame, mock, and trash talk Spamton all he wanted, certain that he was deserving of the blame and vitriol.

Certain that his love for him was long gone.

Spamton had always been too prideful, too scared to speak his mind, anyways. Was this really so different?

He could’ve just told me he needed help when he first ran off! He didn’t have to wait to leave me some shitty voice message while he was… While he was…

He should’ve… He could’ve…

Guilt washed over Tenna like a tidal wave. He could have done something different, too.

He could have followed Spamton. It wasn’t like Tenna hadn’t noticed his distress. The way his face went deathly pale. The way he ran from the room like his life depended on his escape. Tenna could have been with him right from the start of the horrors. Tenna had been the one in the right place at the right time. Tenna had been Spamton’s first call. Tenna could have helped him…

And instead, he had stayed behind. He had picked up the phone, selfishly hoping it was his turn to bask in the glory and the fame. Hoping it was his turn to learn Spamton’s little secret to success.

Tenna had seen it as his chance to be a big shot back then, but now..?

It was my chance to be there for him. Tenna realized, his dark screen suddenly prickling with tears. And I didn’t take it.

Would things be different if I’d chased after him instead of going to the phone?

… Could I have saved him?

… Would he still love me then?

“I think I—I ALWAY S  KNEW—I wasn’t the [[LOVING WIFE AND KIDS!]] you deserved.” Spamton went on. “I WAS NEVER… I WAS NEVER…” A frustrated sigh came through.

“... [FREE.] ”

Spamton shuddered, and the shuffling of fabric could be heard again.

“... I’m sorry.”

The tape continued whirring for just a second longer, playing nothing but the sound of Spamton’s poorly contained crying.

And then it stopped.

… I’m sorry.

He apologized. Before this very moment, Tenna might not have believed it.

But the desperation in his voice… The raw emotion, the pain…

Maybe this time it was real.

“Oh, Spam…” Tenna muttered, pulling the answering machine close.

“... I—” He sucked in a trembling breath. “God—I’m sorry, too…”

Oh, how hypocritical he had been all this time. He had been mad at Spamton for leaving him alone. For never really caring about him. For using him…

But he had really been no better, had he?

He had used Spamton’s renown to climb his way up the ladder, despite being his friend. He’d gotten closer and closer to him, just so he could snag a contract with the biggest name he could.

And oh… Then he made the mistake of falling for him.

Really, genuinely falling for him.

And then abandoning him right when he needed him the most.

Tenna gave a puff of laughter, though it was full of agony. “We’re both huge pieces of shit, aren’t we?”

It’s no wonder nobody wants me.

He leaned back, and stared with bleary vision up at the dark ceiling. Why had he gone and fucked up when it really mattered?

If Spamton hated him now, could Tenna really blame him? 

He drew in a shuddery breath, and let it out, turning back to the answering machine, now resting in his lap. That familiar tune sang its song, and he played the tape again.

It spun to life, and the quiet static from the last message played again. It was so similar, in fact, that Tenna wondered if this one had been recorded the same day as the last.

“ENT RY N0. [[TWO]] ”

Spamton’s voice was chopped and strained.

“... [[ I love you. ]] ”

“... I’m  S0rry I never said< that right.”

The cassette clicked.

Chapter Text

Tenna stared at the answering machine for a long time. His hands were cradling it ever so tenderly.

A single tear fell from his face, and splashed like rain atop its smooth, gray surface.

I love you.

It had been real.

And he had lost it all.

He inhaled sharply, looking up to the pouring rain outside. Thunder rolled somewhere far above.

Tenna ran his sleeve over his face to dry it. “Tenna, you idiot.” He muttered, lowering his sleeve and gripping the answering system tighter in his hands.

Someone—no, Spamton— had loved him. Really, truly loved him.

More than… More than anything…

… Why did things have to fall apart?

The answering machine’s red light glimmered in the darkness. It reflected in the stormy window like a lone flame, dancing despite the downpour. Tenna’s antennae twitched as the new messages tune played through the old speaker.

With a shuddering sigh, he tapped the play button. And the tape began rolling again.

Tenna sat alone in his room for hours.

The reflection of his pale screen and the red light of the answering machine shimmered in the dark glass of the window. There was nothing but himself, the silent song of rain, and Spamton’s voice.

“ENTRY NO. [[Sixteen]]”

Tenna leaned in, closing his eyes. He’d started to find that he felt soothed by Spamton’s strange, electric voice. It may have been different… But…

It was still Spamton.

The entries had started getting much more… Normal. Like regular journal entries. Spamton hadn’t addressed Tenna directly in any of them, just giving loose play by plays of his day.

He’d really, truly given up on believing Tenna would answer.

So why was he still recording on my answering machine?

“I FINALLY FOUND A [[Home-made Storefront Site]] FOR [   !] ” Spamton’s voice was refreshingly optimistic, if a bit crazed. All the entries leading up to this one had been bittersweet at best, it was good to hear any semblance of positive emotion in Spamton’s tone.

“THE [[Trash Area Closed For Repairs]] ISN’T SU CH A BAD PLACE [Once you get settled in] !”

Tenna leaned his head on his hand, and gazed down at the tapes with an aching heart. Maybe I could’ve been there with him. He thought solemnly. Maybe we could have been setting up our new life together here… Wherever ‘here’ is. Had he said something about a trash area? Was he living in a literal dump?

Would living in a place like that be worth it? Even if Spamton was with him? Could he even live there without turning to stone? He sighed, closing his eyes and letting himself imagine, just for a moment, a life he could have lived with Spamton.

Maybe they didn’t… Have to live in the trash. Maybe Tenna could have helped Spamton back to his TV world, or somewhere . Maybe he could have stayed with him.

No… He never would’ve liked that. Tenna sighed, curling his tail in closer. There was always something that kept Spamton in Queen’s mansion. Tenna could still remember it clearly.

At some point, Spamton had stopped visiting as much. And whenever Tenna asked the other darkners about his behavior, none of them would give him a straight answer.

When he did see Spamton after… After his sales started to take a nosedive, he was different. He’d almost always been muttering to himself. He became even more secretive and reclusive.

That was when Tenna started to feel him slipping away.

And he just had to get him on a contract before he could.

What good did it do me, anyways? Contract or no contract, he still left me…

Why did he leave me? It was a question Tenna had thought a million times before, but now—with all the new information he had gathered—it really got him thinking.

There was something going on that I had no idea about, wasn’t there?

His tail cord sparked. Whatever it was… Would he ever really know?

I wish I could talk to him again… Tenna glanced at the receiver, still attached to its dock, unused. Would he… Would he pick up if I called? Do I even remember his number? Is his number even the same? Does he even have a phone anymore? The answering machine had no way of recording the dialing information of incoming callers, unless they left a number themselves.

 He sucked in a deep breath, and tuned back into Spamton’s journal entry.

“... DELICIOUS KROMER.” 

“GOTTA HAVE IT! GOTTA HAVE [Please pay $4.99 to continue the poem.] HOW ELSE AM I GONNA AFFORD [[putting the kids through college!]] ”

Guilt prickled at Tenna’s chest when Spamton brought up his “kids.” He knew he was most likely talking about the pipis.

The very same pipis he’d been… Uh… Grinding up into his TV dinners. Spamton probably would’ve been upset if he knew he’d been doing that. ( ... did he know?) But in his defense, what was he supposed to do when they wouldn’t stop multiplying? Or… At least one never stopped multiplying.

The original one Spamton had given him.

But there was no way he’d ever get rid of her! She was special. She was his little darling!

Our little darling.

Tenna had kept his pipis for years and years, safe from any harm. She had been one of the last things that remained of Spamton after he crashed and burned. And yet, despite looking like an egg, she’d never hatched into anything. Nor had she never gone bad or changed at all, really.

She just kept copying herself, like a string of broken code.

“ [Trash heap] !!! YOU KEPT IT!!! YOU REALLY DO CARE!!!”

The memory looped again. There was no doubt in Tenna’s mind now that that weird, unidentifiable creature had been Spamton.

I wonder how he felt when I didn’t recognize him?

(… And sprayed foam on him.)

Tenna’s antennae flicked when the tape gave a small click. Ah—The message was over.

Tenna sighed, and ran a hand over his neck. The pipis… They never hatched into anything, anyways. It wasn’t like he’d been killing Spamton’s real kids or something.

Tenna took a deep breath, and reached inside his coat. He fished around in his chest pocket for a moment, then pulled out what he was looking for. He turned her around in his hand, watching the way the dim light shimmered on her blue surface.

“... What the hell are you, my dear?”

The pipis, of course, did not respond.

He’d been tapping his tail thoughtfully, and at some point he must’ve accidentally clicked play again. The answering machine began humming, and Tenna looked up.

Ominous static started off the message.

“EN TRY  NO. [[   ]] ”

Tenna furrowed his brow. Spamton had made a strange clicking noise for the entry number. It was followed by a long period of white noise. Like a cassette tape was playing from his mouth.

“YOU LEFT ME.” Spamton’s voice was sudden and sharp, making Tenna jump. It was back to that terrible, suffering tone.

And he was talking to Tenna again.

“YOu [[Abandoned me for the slime!]] WAS IT BECAUSE MY [[BIG DEAL]] FELL THROUGH??? WAS THAT ALL YOU EV3R NEEDEd YOUR OLD PAL SPAMTON FOR???”

Disquieting, unintelligible laughter played over the speaker. Was Spamton… Having some kind of episode? He seemed fine just an entry ago.

“YOU… YOU USED ME!! LIKE I WAS SOME—LIKE I WAS SOME— [[second-hand item sold at half price!]] ” Spamton was screaming into the receiver. The clacking of plastic accompanied glitched laughter. “DID YOU THINK I WOULDN’T [SEE] ?? DID YOU THINK I’D NEVER [[NOTICE!]] ?”

Tenna slipped his pipis back into his coat, and picked up the answering machine with trembling hands. Is that really what he thought?

Isn’t it true, though? I wanted him on contract so bad…

I really was only looking out for myself, wasn’t I? Why was I expecting any more from him?

“YOU JUST WANTED MY [[NAME!]] YOU WANT ED TO BE A [[BIG SHOT!!!!!] DIDN,T YOU??” His laughter was getting more sporadic and intense now. He had to take sudden, sharp gasps of air every once in a while, like he was forgetting to breathe. “YOU WANTED THIS SO BAD??? YOU WANTED [Hyperlink Blocked] ???”

Spamton suddenly went eerily silent. The white noise from before grew louder and louder. 

“Think it’s coming for me, answer the phone.”

“YOU DON’T WANT [[HOT DEALS]] ”

“It pulls the strings and makes them ring.”

“YOU DON’t WANN A—”

“DON’T YOU?? DON’T YOU WANT TO BE A [[BIG SHOT!!!!!] ”

“NO!!! NO!!!!!” A frustrated laugh was followed by the sound of something big crashing and tearing nearby. He’d snapped out of his calm trance. His glitchy fit continued.

“YOUR’E A SELFiSH PIECE OF [[$!$$]] , AREN’T YOU??? AREN!T YOU!???”

“... I can’t explain until you’re all alone.”

Spamton stopped once more. “... You could never understand. Not when… Not when…”

“Think it’s coming for me.”

Then he was screaming again.

“I DON’T [[need]] YOU. I DON’T WANT YOUR [Cathode Screens] ! I DON t WANT YOUR [[Deals!]] ”

“I’LL FIND MY WAY TO   H E A V E N  ON MY [[OWN]] .”

Silent static.

“... I…”

“... I…”

“...”

“... Goodbye, Tenna.”

The tape stopped playing.

Tenna stared at the machine in his hands, digging his claws into its sides. So that’s how he really felt. He felt a snarl rise in his throat, but it was choked out by a breathless laugh.

They really were too fucked up to be happy, weren’t they?

He said my name.

He said my name.

“You… STUPID. FUCK!” Tenna screamed, guttural and anguished. He couldn’t care less whether or not anyone else in the castle heard him. The rain outside had drummed up into a torrent, hammering against the window with a vengeance.

Tenna hardly even noticed. 

Lightning lit the room, illuminating Tenna’s hunched figure as he stood, flexing his claws. The sound of the trailing thunder was overtaken by Tenna’s wailing.

Shhrrk-rip!

Huge talons tore deep gashes into starry wallpaper and the stone bricks beneath. Over and over again they struck, tearing apart every inch of Tenna’s room until it was in a horrid state of disrepair. Mutilated scraps of wallpaper and rubble littered the abraded tile floor, glowing in ragged bursts as Tenna’s power cord flashed with a dangerous light.

Tenna was left in the center of the carnage, his breathing fast and frantic, and body quaking with rage.

He left me alone.

I left him.

He hates me.

Hot tears streamed down Tenna’s face as he stared furiously at the answering machine. He’d abandoned it during his fit, afraid that he would destroy it, too.

Destroy what final, precious memories—no matter how horrifying or hard to listen to—he had with Spamton.

Destroy the proof that Spamton really did love him…

And the proof that he had fucked it up.

The proof that time had run out for them.

Now it was the only thing in the room untouched by Tenna’s wrath.

“STUPID!” He shouted at the old machine, sparking with fury. He bared his fangs at it, as if it had been the one at fault for Tenna’s own, thoughtless actions.

As if this horrible device and its tapes had been the reason he and Spamton were no longer together.

Tenna stared blearily past the answering machine, with its horrible, glaring red light that still mocked him. Why should he care if there were more messages? What good would they do him?

All they were was a reminder of what he’d lost.

What he had no hopes of repairing.

He lunged suddenly forwards, taking the old machine in his claws. He grit his teeth together, watching through hot, angry tears as he applied pressure to the unit.

The old, gray plastic began to splinter, and the red indicator flickered desperately. Tenna didn’t seem to notice. Blinded by fury, he sank his claws into the machine, and—

Crrrack!

The answering machine broke apart, snapped in an imperfect half by Tenna’s claws. He suddenly released his grip, and it fell to the ground with terrible, sharp clatters.

“No! Wait—!” Tenna cried, reaching out for the tapes—chipped and strewn across the room—before crumbling to the ground in the mess of everything he’d destroyed. “Shit—SHIT!” Distraught, his hands scrambled around with the broken pieces of the answering machine, trying desperately to fit the mess of broken plastic and wiring back together.

But it was no good.

He really had broken the last piece of Spamton he had left.

“No, no, NO!”

What had he done?

Cold, tired despair permeated through him like a frigid wind.

Lightning flashed in the window, and Tenna curled in on himself. He let out an anguished wail. He pressed his knees to his chest, and laid on his side, nestling himself against one of the mangled walls. Tears rolled down his face in droves.

… I failed you.

I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry.

Chapter Text

“Spamton…”

“Don’t pick up the phone.”

“Please… Just stay with me.”

“Spam—”

Knock, knock, knock!

“You selfish—!”

“Tenna?”

Tenna’s screen flickered on in a weary daze, and the dark vision dissipated. Exhaustion tugged at his cords, but he managed to sit up and stare around his room. He was tiny, gazing up and around at claw marks ten times his size scored into the walls.

He blinked slowly. Sleepily.

It had all seemed like a dream. The tapes, the answering machine, and Spamton most of all… None of it felt real. A part of him had been hoping it wasn’t, and that he’d wake up in his perfectly empty, intact room that never had the answering machine in it at all. He’d wished he would wake up, and be able to go right on back to hating his ex-business partner. Go right on back to not thinking about him.

Ever.

“Agh…” Tenna groaned as he got shakily to his feet. His clothes were wrinkled from falling asleep in them, and hung from his frame in a disorganized manner. His head hurt badly, though that was hardly a surprise. He had been crying off and on between dark, sightless dreams. Did I stay up that long listening to those tapes? Is it really morning?

His antennae perked as he looked up to his window, steadily forcing himself to grow back to his regular size (awful, dismal pit in his chest be damned.) The thunderstorm had subsided, leaving a foggy morning in its wake. No sun shone in Castle Town, but other Darkners were up and about, bustling between shops.

Other Darkners…

Tenna suddenly jumped as another series of knocks rapped on his door. “Tenna? Are you in there?”

Shoot—That’s right. That knocking had been what woke him up. Anxiety hit Tenna like a truck as he finally seemed to process the state of his room in terms of presentation. It was a bit lighter now, and Tenna could really see the damage he’d dealt.

The walls were the most obvious victim of his tantrum. Green scraps of wallpaper were littered about the room, and dark stone rubble covered the scratched tile in uneven patches. What would Ralsei think? He had just set this place up for him!

Even more pressing, though… He glanced in dismay at the destroyed answering machine. Now that he had slept most of his overwhelming rage off, a heavy grief weighed like a stone on his shoulders.

Do I even want to know what the other messages were? What good did the ones I heard do me?

That horrid longing throbbed in his chest again.

If no Lightner wants me…

Tenna bit his tongue.

Maybe I can find someone in this place who can fix this. It was a risky mission.

Risky by way of Tenna maybe having to be vulnerable for any period of time at all. He wasn’t exactly… Awesome at feeling his emotions in small, manageable waves.

… Obviously.

I could always just lie and say it’s—

“Tenna?”

Shit! How the hell did he keep forgetting?

Taking a deep breath and swiping a hand over his antennae, Tenna made his way over to the door. He flicked some rubble out of its path, and cracked it open.

Worried, spectacled eyes peered up at him. “Oh! Tenna!” Ralsei took a step back from the door, as if he’d been putting an ear up to it trying to eavesdrop.

Tenna’s tail twitched crossly. My room is my business, kid!

Ralsei cleared his throat. He looked unnerved by the way Tenna was looking at him. “S—sorry to bother you… Again… But!” He glanced to the side awkwardly, and Tenna’s antennae instinctively flicked forwards to sense out the hallway.

Someone else was there.

“Good Morning, Sleeping Beauty.” A light, feminine voice chimed into the conversation. The Darkner was standing near her own door, right next to his. Tenna recognized Queen, the computer who had ruled over Cyber world.

Spamton’s old mansion roommate. The realization made his antennae twitch. Why didn’t you help him?

Queen came up beside Ralsei, fixing Tenna with a curious look to her vacant screen. She placed one hand on top of Ralsei’s head, and leaned on him in a nonchalant manner. Ralsei winced, but didn’t protest, instead he just looked up at Tenna again. “Queen said you um… Had a rough night.”

The word true flashed on Queen’s visor, and she laughed regally. “It Was Fun Listening To You Crash Out Lmao.”

Tenna’s tail lashed in disdain behind the door, but his face started to glow pink. “Ah. Is that. Right?” His tone was flat and cold. It was taking a lot of effort just then to be civil and normal, though! Ralsei and Queen were lucky he was being polite at all!

Keep it together, Tenna! He scolded himself. He wasn’t a hundred percent sure what “crashing out” meant per se, but from the way Queen was looking at him like he was a particularly amusing bug… He assumed she was referring to last night’s episode.

It was probably pretty easy to overhear…

His tail brushed against a large chunk of stone debris, and flicked it angrily across the room.

Ralsei shook his head, and Queen stopped using him as a prop. He stepped forwards, trying to peek around Tenna with a furrowed brow. “Tenna, is everything alright?”

Tenna flinched, his shoulders puffing out defensively on instinct. Man, it was so hard to act okay right now! His whole life had been entirely recontextualized last night! Didn’t he deserve a little “crash out?” Without being bothered?

He pushed his way out into the hall, and slammed his door as fast as he could behind him. Ralsei jumped, but Tenna paid it no mind. “What? Of  it is!” Tenna forced a smile, something he liked to think he’d gotten pretty good at. It was a skill any good TV show host possessed, after all!

“I think I just need… A little is all! Haha! Hahaha!” Tenna nodded, his cord making a quiet buzzing sound. He hoped his audience would interpret the noise as “cheerful” rather than “losing it.”

Ralsei and Queen shared a glance. “Oh! Well, uh, in that case, maybe we could show you around town?” Ralsei offered, “I don’t know if anyone has given you a tour yet, but—”

“No, no, that’s alright.” Tenna really hoped his displeasure wasn’t seeping into his voice too much. He fixed his coat (which he just now noticed was sitting askew on his shoulders,) and cleared his throat. “I’m sure I can find my way around just fine on my own.”

Tenna was displeased. Greatly.

He was trying not to be, he really was! But unfortunately, he couldn’t just go back to his room to sulk after telling Queen and Ralsei he needed “fresh air.” It would make them far too suspicious, and the last thing he wanted was Queen poking her nose into his business.

“Oh! Okay! Maybe you should visit Swatch’s café, lots of Darkners congregate there. Maybe you’ll make a new friend!”

Tenna growled as he speedwalked down the dark Castle Town main street. His tail lashed fretfully, smacking a poor, unsuspecting Rudinn in the face.

Why the hell did I say that? He could have just said he needed to be alone! That was true enough! It was like his thoughts were melting as soon as they entered his mind, and he couldn’t identify them. Let alone apply them to any conversation or decision.

He didn’t really want to make any new friends. Why should he? They’d all end up leaving him, anyway. He didn’t need friends. He needed someone who could give him a purpose.

I need to suffer for being awful.

What a strange thought.

A Pippins narrowly avoided being caught in Tenna’s way. With a fearful gasp, they sidestepped Tenna as he walked past. Shakily, they slipped into a bluish building with a saucer and teacup balanced on top. Tenna’s hand twitched as he watched. What were they acting so scared for? Everything was FINE.

Now that he was paying attention to his surroundings, though, Tenna realized most of the Darkners from TV world were cowering away from him. A few Shadow Guys were huddled a block away, casting him anxious looks. A Zapper was whispering to a couple Jigsawry, who were staring at him with big, terrified eyes.

Tenna’s cord sparked furiously. “Don’t you have anything BETTER to be doing?” He snapped, his unchecked rage crackling through the air like lightning. “LEAVE ME !”

The Darkners around him clambered away from him in a hurry. The Jigsawry burst into tears.

Tenna turned, shaking. He wasn’t something for everyone to ogle at and gossip about! He faced the café the Pippins had entered, trying to regain his composure to very little avail. One antenna twitched, was this the café Ralsei had suggested he visit?

I want to go back to my room. He thought, fury and grief battling in his chest. I want my tapes. I want my answering machine.

I want Spamton…

And whose fault is it we can’t have any of those things?

Tenna grit his teeth. Where the hell is Mike when you need him? Maybe he should have taken Ralsei up on that tour thing. He had no idea where Mike was, though he guessed he hadn’t searched too thoroughly. Is he hiding from me? Why would anyone need to hide from me?

“…”

Tenna glanced around at the deserted street.

Taking a few deep breaths, Tenna managed to calm down. He needed to get himself under control.

He stared at the door for a long time, thinking. Ralsei had mentioned someone named Swatch, though Tenna’s knowledge of him was fairly limited. Did Spamton ever mention a “Swatch?” There was something about the name that seemed familiar. Maybe Queen said something about him?

Well, there was only one way to find out.

With one more deep breath, Tenna pushed the café door open. A few Darkners near the entrance looked up, including a gaggle of Pippins, who quickly averted their attention elsewhere. Tenna frowned, but ignored them, instead heading for the counter straight ahead of him.

The black and white Darkner waiting there looked up, fixing Tenna with his curious, orange and yellow tinted gaze. “Good afternoon. Welcome to our humble establishment.” The Darkner looked Tenna over. “You must be Mr. Tenna. I’ve heard much about you from customers… Both past and present.”

Tenna’s cord flickered curiously as he drew closer. People have been gossiping about me? For how long? He peered down at the feathered Darkner when he reached the counter, and looked him over. “I’m guessing you’re Swatch?” He asked, pulling a seat up to the bar and sitting down.

The Darkner nodded. “Apologies for not introducing myself sooner.” He took a glass from behind the counter, held it up to the light, and began to polish it with a rag. “Yes, I am Swatch. The Queen’s one and only head butler. Would you care for a drink? Or perhaps a bite to eat?”

Well, finding Swatch was easier than Tenna had been anticipating.

“Right…” Tenna looked up and around Swatch, but couldn’t find a menu anywhere. To save himself the embarrassment, he just shook his head. “No, thank you.”

I’ve got better things to ask for anyways.

Swatch simply nodded, placing the clean glass back on its shelf and grabbing another. “Is there something else I may help you with, in that case?”

Tenna glanced around briefly. Nobody seemed to be watching him anymore. With a deep breath, he leaned in and lowered his voice. “You’ve… Heard about me? From other customers, I mean?”

Swatch fixed him with a curious gaze. “Just a few things here and there about you and the TV world you built.” Tenna may have imagined it, but he could’ve sworn Swatch’s eyes glimmered with interest. “You’ve been quite a popular topic recently.”

Tenna stiffened. “... Really? How so?” If Queen went running her mouth around town about last night, I swear to the heavens I’ll—

“Castle Town always gets worked into a tizzy whenever new Darkners are recruited. I wouldn’t take it personally if I were you.” Swatch continued, unbothered. 

“Oh.” Tenna mumbled, feeling rosy embarrassment warm his face. He’d been so quick to jump to paranoia, but wasn’t it warranted? Queen had told Ralsei, after all! Or… Had he heard as well and was just trying to be polite about it?

Either way, there was something about Queen that made Tenna uneasy.

Tenna turned his gaze back to Swatch, who was now preparing a drink for a lone, brave Hathy who had decided it was worth the risk getting close to Tenna. “... You mentioned past customers talking about me, too. Do you mean from before you came to Castle Town?”

Swatch, uncharacteristically, seemed to falter for just a moment. He paused while shaking the Hathy’s drink together, before pouring the product into the other Darkner’s glass and sending them on their way. “Yes, I did mention that, didn’t I?”

He took a breath, and turned to busy himself with cleaning work. “I thought you may have been interested in knowing what happened to your old friend, the mailman.”

Tenna’s antennae immediately perked. “You know Spamton?”

“I did, once.” Swatch corrected him, “I have served the Queen for a long time. Long enough to remember when he was living in that little suite in the west wing.”

Swatch sighed, looking deeply into the empty shaker cup with a nostalgic glimmer in his eyes. “He used to come by our shop for drinks and a chat.” Swatch recalled, the fondness in his voice making Tenna squirm. “He was such a lovely customer at one point…”

Tenna’s chest did a flip. “What changed?” He urged, leaning in closer.

Swatch turned his gaze up to Tenna again. “... He did. I’m sure you must have noticed, you two were thick as thieves.” When Tenna didn’t reply, Swatch continued. “He stopped taking care of himself at some point. It must have been around when his sales began to drop.

He was constantly muttering to himself, and snooping around the Queen's mansion trying to find…” Swatch stopped himself. It seemed like it was a habit for him to keep big secrets like this under wraps. “... Trying to find that vessel.”

“Vessel?” Tenna echoed, his brow furrowed.

“A robot hidden away in the basement.” Swatch elaborated. “It was something that a Lightner created, a long time ago… But it remained unused until that salesman convinced Kris to download him into it.”

Swatch frowned at the now very clean shaker cup. “If you want to know more about that, you may have to ask Kris themself. They didn’t disclose much more on the topic.” He frowned, placing the cup on a drying rack. “They seemed pretty shaken when they talked to me about it, though. They may not give you much more information.”

Tenna shivered. “Why did he want the vessel?”

Swatch shook his head. “I couldn’t tell you. All I know was in the months leading up to his eviction, he was so hard to find around the mansion.” He cast a quick glance at a yellow Swatchling from across the room. “One of the Swatchlings eventually found him, completely by accident.”

Swatch shifted his hands uncomfortably. “I still remember the perturbed state they were in when they returned… Spamton had been down in the basement, alone...

And praying to that robot. He was talking to himself and crying, like he'd gone completely mad.”

“Praying?” Tenna felt like his head was spinning. How had he not noticed this was happening? He’d always assumed Spamton had been seeing him less and less because of something Tenna had done.

It’s no wonder he thought I don’t care about him…

Swatch nodded, and tugged at his suit to straighten it. “He kept muttering about heaven and angels… All of us knew he must have been going insane.” He cleared his throat. “I think that was the final straw for the Queen, because after word reached her that he had been spending so much time in the basement…

She ordered for him to be evicted from the mansion.”

Tenna’s face suddenly fell with realization.

“... It was you…?”

“Pardon?” Swatch looked up, brow furrowed.

“You… You and the Swatchlings, you’re the ones who…” Tenna mumbled, the awful memory of Spamton’s first voice message playing over and over in his mind. “What did you do to him?”

Swatch observed him with a careful, steady gaze. Tenna could tell he knew what he said next was very, very crucial. “We followed orders.” Swatch replied slowly. “But he resisted. When we came to his door, he tried to fight. He tried to run.”

He stared down at the countertop, though Tenna could tell he was still watching him for any sign of trouble. “He was carrying one of those cheap, cordless phones, and was calling someone. He didn’t get too far before…”

Swatch hesitated, fixing Tenna with a fierce look. “We wish we hadn’t needed to resort to force, I promise. But there was something wrong with him. Queen suggested we use the acid to make things more manageable, and…”

He was silent, just for a moment. One, awful moment.

“... I’m sorry, Tenna.”

Chapter Text

“Sorry…?”

Stop! Stop! Where are you taking me? Wait! Tenna! TENNA!

“Ha—”

It burns! Ow! Stop! Help me! It—

“Hahaha!! Hahaha!!”

The grief and guilt was overpowering. It permeated through Tenna’s chest like rolling storm clouds, threatening to obscure everything.

He couldn’t help but laugh, booming, and disingenuous. For a moment, he looked delighted to hear the news, taking it with a big, toothy smile. Then, like a switch had been flipped, his screen turned dark. He slammed his fist on the countertop with a great THWACK, and Swatch jumped back. His feathers ruffled up in alarm.

The café went dead silent. All eyes were back on Tenna.

He was stiflingly aware of all of them. It was like being on stage, like every single one of his actions was being picked apart and scrutinized. And if he messed up? He may as well deserve to say goodbye to everything he’d ever built.

“... Do you think I care?” Tenna purred, looking down at Swatch and trying to mimic his usual, light tone. “Haha! Oh, Swatch, you silly little jokester, you! That’s so !! Of course I don’t care! Why should I care?”

Swatch flinched, but managed to quickly straighten out his composure. He cleared his throat. “My apologies, I was under the impression you two were—”

“We were ?” Tenna snapped, his cord sparking behind him. “What were we, exactly?”

It sounded like a question for someone else entirely.

Not a sound stirred the air. For a long moment, it seemed nobody even dared to breathe.

Finally, Swatch shook his head. “... You know very well nobody here can answer that question for you, Mr. Tenna.” He stared bravely up at the looming Darkner. “I’m sorry if I struck a nerve with my tale. I truly am—”

Before Tenna could open his mouth, Swatch continued.

“I only wished to provide you some solace and closure.” His eyes gleamed. “I know you were never truly informed of the reason for his sudden disappearance.”

Tenna glared down at him with clenched teeth and teary eyes. Swatch really was trying to help, wasn’t he? His story had been an act of good will, extending a hand to fit a puzzle piece into Tenna’s life that he’d been sorely missing.

Maybe this was even his way of trying to make up for what he was ordered to do to Tenna’s old partner, oh so long ago.

If only I’d heard this yesterday! Before those damn tapes, Swatch’s account would have been so much more bearable to hear. But now? His emotions were already barely in check, this was just the cherry on top of it all.

Tenna blinked into darkness. He couldn’t stop hearing Spamton’s screams, crying out for help as he was burned alive.

His fuzzy, pale skin. His soft black and white feathers. His dark, twinkling eyes…

It was so, so easy now to imagine all of him sizzling and smoldering. Crying out for anyone to help him as Queen’s butlers just… Watched.

To make their jobs “easier.”

It was threatening to spill over. Every helpless emotion bubbling up inside him made him feel worthless.

“... I already why he disappeared.” Tenna’s voice was on the verge of breaking. Hot tears flooded down his screen as he leaned down, and snarled with a faux smile in Swatch’s face.

“Spamton left because he’s horrible. He’s selfish, and prideful, and greedy.” Tenna’s nose was nearly touching Swatch’s now, his expression intense. “He didn’t care about me, or anyone else. He didn’t care how his actions affected others. He would lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate whoever he wanted. Anything, as long as he got his way in the end.”

Tenna’s breathing was heavy. It felt nice to say it all aloud. It felt more real that way. After all, no matter what he’d overheard on those stupid tapes, it was still true.

Spamton was still a piece of shit, even if he did suffer. I don’t owe him my pity, or my understanding.

He’s still the biggest fuck-up I know.

“He deserved everything that happened to him.”

Thousands of heartbeats seemed to fill the silence that stretched between Tenna and the rest of the café. It was only after Tenna drew back from Swatch’s face and wiped a sleeve over his own that he realized Swatch wasn’t looking up at him anymore.

The Darkner was staring past Tenna—frozen like a deer in the headlights—at the entryway.

“... Damn.” A rough, feminine voice swore.

Tenna stopped dead, and whipped around. Horror surged through him like lightning. No, not right now! How long have they been here for?

There, standing in the doorway—was Susie, Ralsei, and Kris.

“Is uh… is this a bad time?” Susie asked, awkwardly glancing off and scratching her head.

Tenna opened his mouth, instinctively stashing his emotions away and rushing to brush it off as nothing…

But then he noticed the worst thing of all.

The worst possible thing.

There, perched atop Kris’ head, was a pair of glasses. One circular lens was pale pink, and the other sunny yellow.

That was the same item he’d seen Spamton wear the last time they saw each other, wasn't it? Not just that…

“Is that…” He whispered. As he looked closer at the object, he could sense a dark presence about it.

That was no ordinary pair of glasses.

That is him.

That’s Spamton.

And he had just overheard everything.

Tenna could hear ringing, high-pitched and sharp. The world spun beneath his feet.

“W—wait—” He croaked, and reached his hand out towards Kris—but it was too late.

Startled, Kris took a step back out of Tenna’s reach. Then, with a starry noise, the glasses flew off of Kris’ head. Before Tenna could close his claws around them, they darted away and out the café door.

“WAIT!” 

Tenna dove after the item, having to slip down onto all fours to squeeze his way past the entryway. His claws scrabbled on the floor, and he heard Susie and Ralsei yelp in surprise. But they already seemed miles away.

“KRIS! TENNA’S GOING TO KILL HIM!”

Tenna didn’t hear the shrill words. He tore after Spamton through Castle Town, his tail streaming out behind him and whipping violently.

“WAIT!” He wailed again, leaping over a trio of Virovirokun. He was shaking with anger, guilt, and fear, but he could hardly process all of that now. In the form of the glasses, Spamton could weave through areas Tenna had to go around or over in order to catch up.

He’s so fast! Tenna thought, frustrated. He broke out of the main courtyard of town, and dashed towards the eastern outskirts after the glasses. He’ll get away from me like this—

Tenna grit his teeth as he tore past the Addisons’ stand. He heard some surprised murmuring, and then a yelp. If he couldn’t catch up to Spamton, then…

Tenna picked up the dummy standing beside the Addisons, and launched it full force at the runaway Darkner.

CRACK!

“[$!$$]!!”

At the very last second, the pair of glasses transformed. The dummy collided with a small mass of black and white feathers and plastic.

Tenna loomed over it all, chest heaving. The Addisons were shouting at him from behind, but he hardly even noticed. His attention was fixed on Spamton.

He really had been the glasses.

The tiny salesman had his teeth grit in pain. He managed to separate himself from the dummy, but stood up on shaky legs. The feathers on his head were puffed out in fury, and the searing look of scorn and hatred he was giving Tenna was enough to fill his chest with dread and grief all over again.

“Spam…”

He does hate me… He really, really does.

But… How can I even blame him? Especially after… After…

Oh, why did I say any of that? I’d hate me, too!

It was a shock, seeing Spamton like this again. Now that he knew that’s who he was for sure.

He was… He was wrong.

Tenna could see now why so many of Spamton’s voice messages had carried the sounds of hard plastic and porcelain—that really was what he was made of. His skin seemed to have melted away entirely, and there was no sign of his pale white feathers anywhere. His teeth were exposed, and his jaw—though set with rage right now—looked like it could come off.

He was smaller than Tenna remembered. Even if he was his normal, not angry size, Tenna was pretty sure he could grab him with one hand.

His antennae flicked forwards. He could see why he’d been so confused the last time they’d met. Spamton didn’t smell like, well, Spamton at all. He was… To put it blatantly, he was gross.

He smelled of garbage and decaying glass, and if Tenna really scented him, even mild traces of acid were still there. He wasn’t the same at all.

Had Tenna made a mistake?

No, he couldn’t have. Despite all his differences, this was still certainly his old business partner.

His eyes, though burning with anger, looked just like the Spamton he’d known. Dark, round, and reflecting an unspoken mystery. His feathers—at least those that remained on his head—were black and pale gray, and smoothed back. The glow in his cheeks, too, even despite the lack of skin, remained.

Still, just to be certain…

Tenna nudged him with one antenna, “Say something.” He urged, his voice surprisingly gentle.

“[7!$$] YOU, YOU LYING—MANIPULATING—”

Tenna was too thrilled to listen any further.

His voice was just like the tapes.

“... It is you.” Tenna breathed. But before he could bask in the realization that he’d found Spamton. Really, truly found Spamton—sharp pain fired through his antenna.

“OW!” He reared back, and realized Spamton had bitten him.

“What in ALL THE LEVELS OF HELL—” Tenna snapped, prying the dangling Spamton off of his antenna and pinning him to the wall with one hand. Tenna smoothed out his poor antenna with his other hand, before turning to growl at Spamton. “That was uncalled for!”

“YOU THREW A [7!$$]ING [patternable mannequin body] AT ME!!” Spamton spat back, clawing and biting desperately at Tenna’s gloved hand. “LE-LE-LET ME G0!   LeT ME—!”

“Stop that!” Tenna frowned, pressing his thumb up to trap Spamton’s jaw shut against the wall. Spamton glared at him, eyes brimming with burning loathing.

Tenna searched his gaze for a moment, before letting out a shuddering sigh. “... Back at the café… I… I didn’t mean it. I knew I shouldn’t have said it, I knew it! But—”

A muffled, humorless huff of laughter came from between Spamton’s teeth, but he couldn’t say anything. He just took a shuddering breath, and continued to glower at Tenna with narrowed eyes.

Is he tearing up?

“... Spam, just hear me out…”

Behind them, the Addisons had fallen silent. The only one who didn’t seem interested in Tenna’s fit was the pink one, who stubbornly stayed by the booth, averting his gaze. Tenna realized in the silence that Susie and the rest of her gang had caught up, too.

“Tenna!” Tenna recognized Susie’s breathless voice, and heard her footsteps approach. She gathered herself, and took a deep breath. “Look, Tenna, I don’t know what history you two’ve got, but—”

“Susie, sweetheart.” Tenna sighed, flicking his tail crossly. “This is a bit of a personal matter!” 

He really, really didn’t want to get in an argument with Susie of all people. She had been his star contestant just the other day! She’d loved his boards! Didn’t she have so much fun? Fun with ME?

Doesn’t she like me more than him, anyways??

His tail sparked angrily. Why is she trying to step in?! They’re all acting like I’m gonna pop his dumb little head off! He clenched his fist, and heard Spamton squeak in his grip.

“Tenna, what’s going on?” Ralsei piped up behind Susie, and moved over to her side. His brows were knit together as he blinked up at Tenna. “Did… Did something happen? You’ve been acting kind of…”

“Weird.” Kris put in, their tone automatic. They weren’t even looking up at the scene. Their face was turned down, and though their eyes were hidden, Tenna could tell they were just staring at the stone bricks underfoot.

Ralsei and Susie nodded in agreement. Ralsei took another brave step forward. “I saw what you did to your room… Did… Did that machine I give you—” he trailed off, as if searching for the right words. “Was… What did you hear on its tapes..?”

Tenna watched as Spamton’s eyes suddenly widened with shock. He glanced up at Tenna for the briefest of moments, before peering down at Ralsei the best he could. His eyes gleamed, brimming with flashing emotions that moved too fast for Tenna to place. A faint glitch swirled around his head.

He knows exactly which machine Ralsei is talking about. Tenna realized, his tail and antennae trembling.

“... Don’t tell me you didn’t know.” Tenna tore his eyes away from Spamton, his voice low and dangerous. He turned slowly to face Ralsei, but kept his hand trapping Spamton to the wall. “Why go through all that trouble to return it if you didn’t know exactly what was recorded on those tapes? You must have known what I would find.”

A long silence stretched between everyone. Ralsei looked distraught, his mouth opening and closing with silent, unintelligible words. Tenna had been expecting Susie or Kris to immediately jump to his defense, but… Susie was just giving the dark prince a pitying look.

“I—I didn’t mean—I didn’t—” Ralsei stammered, “W-When I found the messages… They seemed so personal. They seemed like—like things you should know, even if… Even if…”

Ralsei met Spamton’s eyes with an agonized look. “I didn’t think—If I’d known that learning what happened would bring you so much pain...” He sucked in a quaking, panicked breath. “... D-do you see why I keep so many secrets? I don’t want people to get hurt! If I had just kept the machine—If I—I never should have—”

Ralsei’s shaky voice suddenly stopped with a gasp. Susie had placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“... Hey, it’s okay.” She soothed, looking between Tenna and Ralsei. “I don’t think this is your fault, Ralsei. You didn’t know anything bad would happen when you gave Tenna whatever it is you gave him.”

She pulled her hand away from her friend, and looked at the ground. “Still… If something painful was recorded on there… Maybe that’s one of those things you should have warned him about.” She muttered. Ralsei nodded solemnly, and stared at the stone floor.

“... It—It was Tenna’s old answering machine. It had some messages recorded on it, and I eventually worked out they were from…” Ralsei looked up at Spamton, and took a deep breath. “I thought maybe…”

He mumbled the rest of his words so quietly Tenna could hardly make out what he was saying. “... Maybe it would help them see eye-to-eye… Maybe they could…”

“... Be happy again. It sounded like they really loved each other at one point… Why shouldn’t they have that again?”

Susie looked down at the ground thoughtfully. Finally, she turned to Tenna, something almost like pain in her eyes. “Tenna… Trust me, I get feeling pissed off that someone didn’t tell you the whole deal, I really do.” She glanced at Spamton, and grimaced. “But Ralsei was trying to help. I think he wants you two to talk about what happened… Whatever it is.”

Tenna stared at the ground, his screen dark and slowly flooding with tears again. “... Why?” His voice sounded much more vulnerable and pathetic than he’d have liked.

“... What?” Ralsei looked up at him through tearful eyes.

“Why?” Tenna repeated, turning instead to face Spamton.

He wasn’t struggling in Tenna’s grasp anymore, instead just looking down at the ground. Tenna noted how his hair was messily strewn over his face. How his dark eyes glistened sadly beneath. How he could feel his tiny heart beating like a trapped bird inside his chest.

He loved him.

He hated him.

He wanted to take him far away and never let him go again.

He wanted to crush him in his hands right then and there, and watch as he stopped squirming.

I love him.

I want to watch him suffer and know what he did to me.

No, I don't... I... I love him.

…

… Can they really help me?

“... Why even try to help us?” Tenna asked coldly, his hands beginning to tremble. “What do you even know about us? What if we’re too far past saving?”

He glared through hot, blurry tears at the Darkner pinned beneath his hand.

Spamton finally—finally—turned his face up and met Tenna’s gaze. His eyes were troubled, but dilated. Full of what seemed like hundreds of different feelings. They flitted back and forth, searching Tenna’s features.

Tenna's heart ached looking at his own longing reflected in those eyes.

A muted sniffle came from between Spamton's tightly clamped teeth. Tenna looked away. Away from Spamton. Away from his audience.

He inhaled shakily. “... Have you ever thought that maybe we both deserve to be miserable?” His voice broke.

“Tenna…” Susie took a deep breath, and stepped forward. “Nobody deserves to be—”

Tenna barely had time to feel the rage that pulsed up his spine before he was shouting, and baring his fangs.

“I DO.”

His tail surged with electricity as it slammed into the wall. Shockwaves rippled up the dark stone, and a few pebbles tumbled down to clatter around their feet. Spamton gave a muffled alarm call, and the watching Addisons Tenna had been ignoring fell back with scared chirps of their own. 

“Do you have any idea of what I’ve done? What he’s done?” He sputtered up a laugh, prying Spamton from the wall and clenching him in his fist. He held him out to Susie and Ralsei, oblivious to the way he writhed against his claws. “Look at him! Who do you think he is?”

Susie took a step back, and with a few clattering footfalls, Kris was by her side, too. They were holding out their shield, and glaring up at Tenna with distrustful eyes. They seemed to be daring him to do anything stupid.

“Hey, calm down.” Susie whispered, placing a hand on Kris’ shield. She shook her head. “I can handle this.”

Hesitantly, Kris lowered their defense, but they were still fixing Tenna and Spamton with an intense stare.

Susie turned her gaze down to Spamton, and blinked a few times. This looked like the first time she’d ever really seen him. “Well, uh, hey. It’s never too late to get to know someone, right?” She made a weird face, like she wasn’t quite sure what to say. Honestly? Tenna couldn’t blame her. Spamton had been helping them as an ugly pair of sunglasses. Why would she strike up a conversation with one of their items?

Tenna watched through narrowed eyes as Susie approached Spamton. He stared at her like he was shocked she could even see him, and cast a fretful glance at Kris.

“Hey. Uh,” Susie started, “I don’t think we’ve really met outside of… Y’know. You trying to kill us.

And uh… You looked a little different then. Heh.”

He did? Tenna thought, considering Spamton with surprise. How long ago was this? Did Spamton have a secret form he’d never told him about? I can’t say I’m surprised if so. Tenna thought bitterly. He’s got more secrets about him than anyone ever should.

Maybe it had something to do with the "vessel" Swatch mentioned?

“Do you… Have anything you wanna say?” Susie asked, tilting her head down at Spamton.

After a long moment of awkward silence, in which Spamton shot him a glare, Tenna’s antennae twitched. Oh. He couldn’t respond with Tenna holding his mouth shut.

Tenna frowned deeply, but removed his thumb from Spamton’s jaw. “There.

Show them how hopeless we are.”

Chapter Text

Something about the snow had always been comforting. No matter how cold it got, or how much the wind picked up. There was always a calm to the way it muted the sound of everything around it.

A calm Spamton had been sorely missing. It was a good break from the hustle and bustle of TV world. He loved the attention, the spotlight and the fame, but even he needed a moment to think every now and again.

There wasn’t much snow like this back in his own world, so he had to get his fix of the solace it provided while he was here. 

His chest felt heavy. The cigarette in his hand glowed dimly against the gentle snowfall, the only light in the frigid hillscape. He put it to his lips, and took a deep inhale. He stared up at the flurry against the dark sky, and watched as the smoke he exhaled made the snowflakes twirl in an erratic dance.

“There are better places to take a smoke break, you know.” 

A new voice joined him, and Spamton turned his head to acknowledge the company. Mr. Tenna.

A cheeky grin spread on his face. “And have to share my cigs with you? Ha! No way.” He placed the cigarette in his mouth, and shoved his hands into his pockets. “What’re you doing out here? Aren’t you on air soon?”

The snow underfoot crunched as Tenna sat down closer to his eye level. He turned his glowing face to him.

He’s worried. Spamton could tell. He’d gotten very good at reading Tenna’s expressions and body language in the time he’d been staying with him. The fact that he didn’t have eyes was something that threw most Darkners off.

But not Spamton.

“I just wanted to check in on my lovely , of course! Nothing wrong with that!” Tenna laughed, but Spamton could feel his anxiety coming off of him in waves.

Spamton searched the other Darkner’s face for a moment, before rummaging around in his coat pocket. He leaned his back nonchalantly against Tenna’s shoulder, and found what he was looking for. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes, and held it up to his partner.

“You look like you need one.” He encouraged.

Tenna stiffened, but reached over to take one. It was comically small in his hand, but he looked grateful all the same. “... Ha… I can’t hide anything from you, can I?”

“Nope.” Spamton smirked, stashing the cigarettes away again. He heard a small zzt as Tenna lit his smoke with his tail, and took a deep breath.

“... Alright, you caught me.” Tenna sighed, and looked up into the flurry. “I actually came to ask… Well, ask if you wanted to come on air with me tonight?”

Spamton raised a brow. “Huh? I’m not supposed to go on ‘til tomorrow.”

“I know,” Tenna admitted, running a hand past his antennae and down so he was holding the back of his neck. “I’m just… Nervous, I think. It’s a new program, and I’m not sure I… Remember all of the script.”

“I don’t know the script either.” Spamton pointed out, taking another drag of his cigarette.

“Sure, that’s true.” Tenna turned to face him, and Spamton was surprised to see his screen was glowing… Pink? Spamton felt his face heat up as he stared.

“But… If I forget my lines, I know you’ll help me play them off.” Tenna smiled, “You always know just what to say on air, even when I don’t.”

He looked like he wanted to say more, but he kept it short. Professional.

Spamton finally looked away, positive his cheeks were glowing with embarrassment. Though even if he tried, he couldn’t get the smile on his face to falter.

“Hah… You don’t give yourself enough credit, Cathode.” Spamton scoffed, not meeting Tenna’s gaze. “... Alright, you’ve convinced me.”

“Really?” Tenna looked up, but quickly cleared his throat. “I mean—Uh… I’m glad to hear it! Haha!”

Spamton pushed away from Tenna’s shoulder, and pressed his burnt down cigarette into the snow. He faltered for a moment, staring out into the deep, dark abyss that loomed above them. His feathers ruffled.

“... Tenna?”

“Hm?” Spamton heard his reply.

He took a deep breath, not looking back. How should he say this? He swallowed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Thanks for… Checking up on me.”

Tenna’s antennae twitched, and his brows knit together. “I—well, of course!” He laughed, though Spamton could still hear the bashful tone in his voice. “I saw you out here, moping in the snow, and figured you could use a distraction.

You of all people should know I always find the time to make sure yo—my stars—are alright.”

That certainly caught Spamton’s attention. He turned to Tenna, and searched his face with gleaming eyes. Eventually, he laughed it off and scoffed, “I wasn’t moping.” He protested, though his heart swelled with warmth.

Even if Tenna had switched up and generalized it to all of his “stars”, he really did care about Spamton.

… Maybe? Just a little bit?

Tenna grinned, and flicked his cigarette away. “No? I need to take my moping sensors in for service then!”

Spamton shoved against Tenna’s shoulder, though it hardly moved him. “Oh, shut up.” Despite his harsh words, his tone was nothing but fond.

He shook his head. Stupid TV. “Well,” Spamton cleared his throat, “We’ve got a stage to get to, don’t we?”

“Right!” Tenna nodded and got to his feet, dusting off the tiny snowflakes that had started to collect on his suit. He was positively beaming.

“Oh, the viewers of this show will absolutely you! I just know it!” Tenna purred. He began walking back to the shimmer of lights in the distance, his hands working in circles as he continued to talk into the night.

Spamton followed, albeit slowly. The smile on his face was starting to fade. Tenna’s voice, too, seemed to grow distant. The world around Spamton’s feet was moving in slow motion, shaking his confidence.

Tenna—

He thought he’d said the name aloud, but it got caught somewhere in translation. Almost as if something was coiled around his neck, catching his words. Choking him.

Everything was blurred, darkened and obscured by a shadow in Spamton’s vision. The blizzard seemed like it was whirling around his head. The wind tugged at his feathers, pulling his attention up to the sky.

Somewhere, falling closer—

Was the faint sound of a ringing phone.

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

He shook his head.

… So why didn’t you?

Why didn’t you have the time then?

It was dark. He was back in Castle Town. Susie was still looking at him with a furrowed brow and apprehensive eyes. Kris was still staring at him with great intensity. He could still hear the Addisons murmuring a few paces away.

Those good for nothing—

He shot them a glare with as much venom as he could muster, only to feel his heart immediately squeeze with guilt. The looks on their faces ranged from pointedly ignorant to terrified. Are they scared for me? Or for themselves?

He was all too aware of Tenna, too. Huge, angry, unstable, and glaring daggers into his skull. This was the man he’d left—the man he’d wronged.

Who I abandoned.

Spamton left because he’s horrible. He’s selfish, and prideful, and greedy.

The man who hated him, maybe more than anyone.

He didn’t care about me, or anyone else. He didn’t care how his actions affected others.

And he was trapped within his grasp.

It’s all true, isn’t it?

This was not how Spamton thought this hazy morning would go. Nothing about the fog that surrounded Castle Town had warned him of what was to come.

Nothing had told him he would be running for his life through dark, stone brick streets. Nothing had warned him that he would have a mannequin thrown at him. Not a damn thing had told him he would be caught, struggling at the mercy of his ex-business partner’s claws.

And even less had warned him that Tenna would recognize him. Even in the form of the Dealmaker. He felt a chill press up all around him, like a sudden wind.

Wait—

Tenna’s voice had sounded so helpless.

Spamton never would have expected that. Not after the last time he’d seen him. He winced, the fresh grief from the memory digging into his mind like a thorn.

Some kind of rat? Some kind of creature?

Dismay weighed heavily in Spamton’s chest. He already knew deep down Tenna would never recognize him again. Not like this.

Not after everything.

Tenna had known… A better him, hadn’t he? Certainly a less… Pathetic and gross version at least?

He deserved everything that happened to him.

… Maybe not.

But… Today, Tenna had recognized him. As nothing more than glasses.

Spamton hadn’t expected dread to follow the realization on Tenna’s face in the café. The kind that permeated through to his core and turned into terror.

Had Tenna been lying back in TV World? What would he have gained from that?

Or… Had something changed?

Spamton’s feathers rose.

… The tapes.

He asked me to speak. Did he recognize…? Did he realize..?

He squirmed in Tenna’s grip, gritting his teeth.

He… He listened to the messages, didn’t he? After so long?

Spamton couldn’t help but laugh.

It’s a little late to be returning my calls now, isn’t it, Cathode?

… What did I even record for him?

He couldn’t remember all the details. It had been so, so long.

Spamton winced, a sharp bolt of pain firing through his jaw bringing him back to the moment. He wrenched an arm from Tenna’s grasp to massage his face, and realized he’d slackened his hold on him a little. What is he playing at?

Ow—

His jaw hurt. Everything hurt. His chest, his head, his joints. He was exhausted. He was furious. He was terrified.

Susie, Kris, and the Darkner prince were standing before him, and Tenna loomed expectantly above. They didn’t seem impatient, had it really not been that long? Spamton’s thoughts had been racing so fast, it felt like an eternity had passed since Tenna had spoken.

Show them how hopeless we are.

A familiar, painful ache pulled at Spamton’s body. There had been some nights he’d spent alone, wasting away in a dumpster, where he would have killed to see Tenna again. Or to go to the cyber grill with the Addisons one more time. To feel anything other than misery and isolation.

But now…?

Spamton clenched his teeth, and another sharp stab of pain lit his nerves. He felt paralyzed.

Why was he so angry? Just the other day, he’d thought Tenna had… Tenna had…

That he actually cared about me.

That maybe we did have something worth yearning for.

… Maybe he’s right. Maybe we are a lost cause.

How was he even supposed to talk to any of them? To Tenna especially? He was running sentences over and over in his head, and even the ones he didn’t fundamentally hate became muddled, disjointed, and censored until they were almost unrecognizable.

[    !] YOU, [Boob Tube!] I’M NOT SAYING [  nothing].—The phrasing was too confusing.

[Die! Die! Die!]!—Not what he wanted to say at all.

[Tickets!] [50% off!] [Take the whole family on a vacation] STRAIGHT TO HELL.—What was he even saying?

… I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I…

He pulled at his face, frustrated. His fingers caught painfully on his jaw.

C’mon, Spam! Pull yourself together!

He ignored the way his head spun, unable to keep up with his pounding heart. Absentmindedly, he gripped Tenna’s thumb instead of his teeth. He kneaded the fabric of his glove anxiously between his fingers.

Against all odds… It grounded him. That familiar, smooth texture centered his thoughts. Exactly how it used to.

Like strings falling out of a knot, Spamton’s shoulders fell. He released a shuddering sigh.

He still wasn’t sure what to say. Hell, he didn’t entirely even know what he was feeling. But at least now the cacophony in his mind had started to settle enough that he could hear himself think.

And in the solace, only one thought kept repeating.

“... Why now?” Spamton’s voice was quiet, hardly more than a whisper.

“What?” Susie was the first to speak. She leaned in closer, squinting down at him.

“WHY [NOW!]??” He repeated, pinching the fabric between his fingers tighter. Susie flinched, but Spamton didn’t seem to notice. He whipped his head around to glare up at Tenna. “WHAT [took you] SO LONG???”

The angry tears came on suddenly and violently. They prickled at his eyes, making them burn.

“DO YOU KNOW H0W MANY [all alone on a late night?] I SPENT [back in the day]??? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT’S LIKE TO [rot away] AT THE BOTTOM OF A [Dumpster]?” His glasses were starting to fog up, but he was far too angry to care. He wasn’t really looking at Tenna anyways.

“NO!!!” He screamed. He struggled against Tenna’s hand again, scrabbling at the silky fabric of his gloves. “YOU D0N’T KNO W WHAT IT’S LIKE!  MUTTERING YOUR [Lost Friends] NAMES IN THE [Trash] UNTIL  Y OU MAKE YOURSELF [Sick]!!  YOU DON”T KNOW HOW IT [feels] TO TO TO TO—”

He broke off with a violent cough, and the glitch in his voice tapered off. He stared with wild eyes at the ground, his furious tears obscuring his vision. “TO BE [garbage.] TO HAVE YOUR [use] RUn… Run out…”

He stopped thrashing, and gripped Tenna’s glove tight. “... To realize… Nobody ever really needed you for… You.”

The scene went quiet again. The only sounds were a tiny hiccup from the dark prince’s direction, and a sad coo from one of the Addisons. Cold tension hung thickly in the air.

… Was he imagining that Tenna’s hold on him was loosening?

Spamton whipped his face back up to glare at the larger Darkner, only for his intense expression to immediately falter. 

He’s… Shrinking.

Tenna’s screen had gone dark, and tears were starting to leak through. He released his hold on Spamton very quickly. He wasn’t big enough to keep him trapped anymore.

“Of course I do.” Tenna choked. His voice was quiet. Strained. He stood a few feet away from Spamton now, only barely taller than him. He couldn’t meet his eyes. “That’s exactly how I felt when I realized you were never coming back. When I was unplugged.”

Spamton’s feathers began to flatten. He was… Unplugged? The fiery rage swirling in his chest started to turn cold, freezing over until it was a flurry of snow. He tried to laugh, but the sound was garbled. It came out sounding more like a choke.

“Because I took M-MY [little secret] WITH ME.” He put in dryly, a faint, dull humor to the edge of his voice.

Tenna violently shook his head, before whipping it up to look at Spamton. He bared his fangs desperately, his face dripping with tears. “I know I wasn’t there for you. I know how much you suffered all on your own now.” He reached a hand out, and Spamton instinctively took a step back. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend—a better partner…

… And—” He took a deep, trembling gasp. “And I’m sorry I didn’t see you… The way I should have.” Tenna finished with a sharp sob. He shrank even further to the ground, and pressed a splayed hand to his face.

Spamton glared at Tenna. Through his anger. Through the tears obscuring his vision, through it all, he searched his old partner for any sign of malice. For disingenuousness. For manipulation. For anything that might give away that this was all a trick. A ploy. Some elaborate stunt for Tenna to get what he wanted…

But he didn’t find any.

Tenna was so small, and shaking with emotion. His antennae were drooped over his face in a vain attempt to hide the tears flowing past his clawed fingers. Even his tail rested limply on the ground.

He was completely vulnerable.

And despite everything he felt—despite every instinct screaming at him not to trust him—Spamton knew Tenna meant it.

He really is sorry.

Maybe he actually even…

Spamton quivered, pulling his ratty coat further over himself. He’d been waiting for an apology from Tenna for years. Selfishly, embarrassingly, he’d sometimes imagined what it would be like when Tenna finally coughed it up. He’d imagined it feeling vindicating. Cathartic. He’d imagined he’d relish in the fact that Tenna had recognized how awful he was for abandoning him. For using him. For pushing him aside the moment he realized he would never get his hands on Spamton’s secret.

But… Now that he actually had his sorries, he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t feel vindicated. He didn't feel triumphant. He only felt hollow.

I did the same exact thing I’ve been hating Tenna for all these years… Didn’t I? I left him alone to fade into obscurity after promising I’d help him… 

…

… Is it my fault he was unplugged?

Spamton’s  jaw opened and closed over and over again, shutting with tiny plastic clicks. He couldn’t look at Tenna anymore. He turned his face to the ground.

He took another step back.

Maybe he actually cares about me.

It felt like a thousand different emotions were tearing through his chest. Conflicting feelings battled against each other, fighting for Spamton to identify and acknowledge them. His heart beat faster and faster, its pulse becoming so loud that it was soon all he could hear.

It was like the world was closing in on itself, growing smaller and smaller. Darker and darker. Fear was permeating out of the shadows, threatening to drown him.

I can’t do this—

He whipped around, and without thinking, he took off into the fog.

His tiny talons scraped along the dark stone street as he ran, fruitlessly trying to clear the tears from his eyes. He felt sick. The awful pit of longing opened up in his chest again, warring with the overwhelming instinct to run away.

You can’t do this.

You can’t have him.

Whatever made you think you could?