Work Text:
Why did you die? Was it an accident? It doesn’t feel like that to me.
You clearly hate it here, Reo. I don’t know if you were ever truly happy. Every action you take is similar to an upset, bitter man.
So what’s the reason behind your actions? Why don’t you shy away from acting like our enemy? Why don’t you mind making a fool out of yourself in front of the whole Japan?
Are you trying to give us what you can’t give to yourself? A happy life, no?
Rin hit the ball. His anger kept reviving in his head the more he thought about Nagi Seishiro and the voting. Everything about them was confusing beyond relief.
And now what, Reo was a time traveler? Why did Rin want to believe so much?
What did Rin’s desire for believing nonsense say about him?
“Hey.”
Rin’s head snapped up. It was pretty late for anybody to still be up. Scratch that, everyone should’ve been sleeping soundly with dreams of their promised vacation. After their voting session ended and cameras woke up, Ego said they would be on a two-week vacation starting tomorrow.
Well, everyone but Rin and Reo, apparently.
“What are you doing here?”
Reo scoffed at Rin’s question, a hand on his shoulder. He no longer wore a brace, but he was trying to be careful with his body.
“What? In Blue Lock? If I have any clue…”
“It’s not funny.”
“I’m not trying to be funny.” Reo stopped abruptly and bent over to check the goalkeeper behind him. When he turned back to Rin, he was smiling. Winking with his tongue out. Typical behavior of Reo whenever he felt unnecessarily cocky. “Care for a game?”
“Aren’t you injured?”
“It’s okay if I be careful.” Reo sighed when Rin refused to comply and send him the ball. “Seriously. I will not overexert myself.”
Rin pondered about it. He didn’t send the ball.
“You always overexert.”
“Come one now.” Reo raised his hands as if that would prove his innocence. It only made him look more guilty. “Don’t this face spark trust?”
No. It did not spark trust.
Seeing that Rin was refusing to entertain his attempts at joking, he dropped his hands. “Look, I’m sorry. That’s why I came to find you.”
Why was he apologizing? Rin was the one who injured him. “You’re mixing the culprits.”
“No. No, I’m not. I’m sorry for getting between you and your brother. I know it was important to you.”
It was, but Rin ended up not satisfying his brother once again. Hearing his insults wasn’t something he dreaded the loss of.
“You said you did it for me,” Rin replied as he finally sent the ball to Reo. The boy accepted it with glee. “That’s not something to be sorry about.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
Reo played with the ball, juggling it between his feet and his knees. He was careful with his shoulder, at least. Nice to see him holding onto his words for once.
“Do you believe me?”
Did Rin believe him? Rin hoped he believed Reo, if it explained anything.
“My belief doesn’t change the outcome.”
“It does.” Reo sounded very, so very sad. “I would want you to believe me.”
Some things were hard to give a clear reply; this was one of them. Even if Rin opened his mouth, nothing came out.
“Do you want me to tell you about your future? I mean, things will probably change now, but still, do you want to hear about it? I can—”
“No.”
Reo clamped his mouth shut. He tried to smirk and regain his confidence, but the crack in his mask was so deep. It was always deep; Rin didn’t think he was ever fooled with that mask.
“Why would I want to hear about something clearly bad?” Rin continued when Reo failed to properly fix his mask. Stupid. “What a lukewarm perspective. If it won’t improve me in any way, then I don’t care about it.”
“Right,” Reo laughed incredulously. “Right. That’s Rin for you.”
Then silence. It was not awkward as Rin thought it would be. They didn’t even play rough; just simple and light passes instead of words. It was rather comforting like that.
But Rin felt the need to know more. What did Reo’s actions mean? Where did his heart lie? Just whose partner was Reo, truly?
“Are you going back to him?”
“Hm?” Reo hit the ball absentmindedly. Rin trapped the upcoming ball under his heel.
“Nagi Seishiro. He wants you, and you cried after him. So, are you? Or do you hate him?”
“Why are you jumping to the extremes… Is it not possible for me not to hate him and also not to go back to him?”
“He made you cry,” Rin stressed the word. The ball under his foot contorted into a weird shape under pressure. “My brother made me cry once and I hate him.”
Well, that probably wasn’t a surprise to Reo, but he still had the audacity to act shocked.
“Sae made you cry?”
“We’re not talking about that bastard. Why don’t you hate him?”
“I hate him,” Reo replied, a little unsure. “But not him who’s him and it’s complicated. The one I hate is no longer with me, which also means I don’t hate him, and I know it sounds stupid to hear that but believe me it sounds even stupider in my head.”
“Just hate him then,” Rin offered as he passed the ball to Reo. There was a free rhythm between them. Their conversation, too, was freeing despite its topic. “It’s easier that way.”
“You don’t understand—"
“I do,” Rin interrupted too suddenly that Reo almost forgot to pass the ball back. “That’s why I’m telling you to just hate him. If someone makes you cry, you shouldn’t forgive them after a single apology. Their late remorse doesn’t erase the pain you’ve been through and… I think we are similar in that aspect.”
“I’ve always wanted him to want me back.” Reo sighed. He and Rin were just two desperate people in the end, no? “Are we similar in that aspect, too?”
“He wants you back. Does that make you happy?”
“No… I don’t know. I think he’s not the one I wish to get back to, so it doesn’t really matter. He doesn’t want me because I’m me.”
“What do you mean?”
“He wants me because I’m strong. He never wanted me when I was weak and needy, I guess. He wouldn’t want me if I was weak and needy, still.”
Is this about the time travel stuff? Nagi from the future, or the past, or whatever he is from?
“Me too,” Rin murmured. Whatever. It’s not Nagi he’s talking to right now. “I want you because you’re strong. That’s not a bad thing. You should be proud of it.”
“No, it’s different with him… But I’m glad to hear you want me.” Reo chuckled bitterly and lowered his eyes. The ball Rin sent toward him missed his foot. “Now that I think about it, it’s not that different. You wouldn’t want the weak me either.”
“Is it wrong to have standards?”
It took many seconds for Reo to answer. He choked on his spit.
“It’s not. You’re right. Just… I guess realizing it hurts. That you’re never up to someone’s standard, and that they are willing to let you go once you fail to meet them or once they find someone better. That they never wanted me for me.”
“I think you’re a hypocrite.”
“Huh?”
“Didn’t you let that NPC go because he wasn’t up to your standards? And chose me because I was the strongest?”
“No… Is that how it seems? I didn’t abandon Nagi, he abandoned me. Don’t you remember?”
“Does it ever occurred to you that your strength made him insecure, and he wanted to be up to your standards as well?”
“That’s not it, Rin, you don’t know him.” Reo spoke with anger on his face. “He always abandons me. Even if he’s better, he abandons me. Even if I’m better, he abandons me. And even before, he abandoned me and is only chasing after me because I didn’t choose him! Do you really think he would work hard to stay beside me if I chose him instead of Kunigami!”
Reo breathed out roughly. The air he got in couldn’t keep up with his lungs, but he continued with fervor.
“He would set his eyes onto someone else, someone greater, and I would have to work tooth and nail just for a chance to be seen! I know it because that’s what happened many times! I really, really want him to want me; but he’s never going to want me the way I want him, the way I want him to want me! How can I be happy with that?”
He was heaving after pouring his heart out. His face was ugly, eyes were glassy, and cheeks were red with low oxygen.
“Dummy,” Rin muttered to himself.
This is stupid. This boy is utterly oblivious. That parasite doesn’t want him? In what universe? Rin would feel less conflicted if he didn’t want him!
“What?” Reo asked offendedly, trying to interpret what Rin’s silence meant.
“So you don’t know.”
Reo huffed. “I don’t get it.”
“You’re not a mind reader, so you don’t know.” Rin shifted his weight on his place. “I’m right before you, you can hear me and see me, but you still didn’t catch what I said. Or you still can’t tell what’s going on in my mind.”
He walked toward him, uncharacteristically hesitant as he stopped before Reo. He reached out and pressed his forehead to Reo’s.
“I don’t know why I’m helping that idiot… Hah. As I said, you can’t even tell what I think even when I’m right in front of you. So why are you speculating about what that useless NPC thinks instead of talking to him? He looks like a brainless idiot anyway. I don’t think he devalues you like you make him sound to be. But if he’s like me, he might have some troubles to explain himself… So—"
Rin abruptly retracted his head, and he fixated his gaze onto the fake grass.
What am I doing now? Explaining to him how much that parasite loves him because Reo looked so pitiful? Because seeing him upset makes me feel bad? What is wrong with me?
“Why are you making me do this? That’s so dumb. I’m leaving.”
“Rin?” Reo caught Rin when he walked past him. “Are you okay?”
Rin looked at Reo’s hand on his wrist, and all his will to leave suddenly left his body.
He could…try to be honest, no?
“No,” Rin spat out bitterly. “I’m not okay. I will not be okay if you keep confusing me.”
Reo seemed to be taken aback, but his hand stayed on Rin.
“What do you mean? I’m not doing anything.”
“Then do something. Make up your damn mind.” Well, lashing out at your crush might not be the best action. Not like Rin had experience on the matter. “Who do you care about more? Nagi or me?”
Rin’s jaw clenched, words clawing at his throat. He hated this, hated being dragged around in circles by someone too blind to see what was right in front of him.
Reo froze. His fingers on Rin’s wrist trembled. “Why are you asking that?”
“Because I’m sick of you acting like you’re still chained to him.” Rin’s voice cracked with anger he couldn’t control. “I’m here, damn it. I’m the one standing in front of you. Why the hell are you wasting your breath crying over him when I…” He shut his mouth before the words escaped, but Reo’s wide eyes pushed him past the point of restraint. “When I already want you.”
The silence that followed was unbearable. Rin wanted to break free, to run, to cover his face before Reo laughed at him. But Reo didn’t let go.
“You… what?” Reo’s voice shook. The mask was gone now, completely gone.
“You are wanted.” Rin pulled Reo closer by tugging at his own wrist. “I want you. Stay as my partner and forget about that dumb NPC.”
Reo blinked, stunned, like the words were impossible to process. He stared at Rin, searching his face for any trace of mockery, any sharp edge meant to cut him down. There was none. Only raw, reckless honesty trembling beneath Rin’s anger.
His lips parted, but no sound came out. His grip on Rin’s wrist tightened instead, as if to anchor himself. “You… You can’t just say something like that.”
“I just did.” Rin’s eyes burned into his. Parasite. Yes, Rin could be a better parasite than Nagi Seishiro ever could. In fact, he was going to be the best parasite ever.
When Reo hesitated to answer, Rin scoffed.
“What? You can say that shit during the meeting—which got ignored by all those dimwits anyway, but this is the truly shocking thing? This is what ties your tongue?”
“No, it’s…” Reo frowned at him, then his eyes lowered and found Rin’s wrist. His frown got deeper the more he examined the area where their skins touched. “Why?”
Rin followed his gaze, irritated by the sudden drop in eye contact. His wrist still throbbed faintly under Reo’s grip, but that wasn’t what mattered.
“Why what?” Rin’s voice was sharp, daring him to say it.
“Why me?” Reo’s voice cracked, so small compared to his usual cocky mask. His fingers tightened as if he was afraid Rin might slip away if he loosened up. “You could want anyone else. You don’t even like people. So why me?”
The question made Rin want to scream. Wasn’t it obvious? Wasn’t it clear from the way he couldn’t stop circling back to this idiot no matter how much he told himself to ignore him?
“You really don’t get it,” Rin muttered, frustration bubbling over. “You keep asking why, but you don’t ask why not. Why wouldn’t I want you? You’re strong, you’re stubborn, a little delirious, but—” His jaw locked as the words tumbled out. “—you care deeply. Even when you’re a mess, you still care about me. You fucking jumped on Itoshi Sae. Do you even realize what you did?”
The look in Reo’s face told Rin that he very much did not realize what he did.
Reo blinked, stunned, mouth falling open in disbelief. “I—I wasn’t thinking about that. I just…” He faltered, shaking his head. “I didn’t care what happened to me. I only cared about you.”
Rin’s chest clenched painfully. Was this idiot aware of the words coming out of his mouth?
“Exactly,” Rin snapped, though his voice was uneven. “That’s what I mean. You are strong and you care about me. You are the only one who—Reo, you are the only one who I can consider my equal.”
Reo’s eyes sharpened at that, the disbelief melting away into something steadier. Something that looked a lot more like him. His grip on Rin’s wrist shifted, firm now instead of trembling.
“Equal, huh?” Reo tilted his head, studying him intently.
Rin held his stare, refusing to back down. “Yes. Equal.” The word came out clipped, as if Rin had bitten it in half to stop anything softer from escaping. Well, he did. Maybe he shouldn’t have.
“And you are smart. I like the way you boss around. Your skills are nothing to scoff at either. Well, your personality could be better, but…” Who was Rin to judge anyone’s personality? “…I would say mine is worse.”
Reo blinked at his words, twice, before lowering his head. There was a sound, close to grunting, and it took Rin a couple seconds to realize it came from Reo’s half-assed attempts at keeping his laugh down.
In the end, he couldn’t keep it inside and it burst out from his pretty lips. Yes, they were pretty, and Mikage Reo looked kind of cute when he was crying because of how uncontrollable his laugh became.
“You look pretty,” Rin blurted out. He could feel ashamed, but the mischievous glint in Reo’s eyes told him not to.
“Man,” Reo said between the short breaths and the laughter that didn’t seem to end. “You’re whipped.”
“So what?” Liking someone wasn’t something shameful, no? “Are you not?”
Reo quirked up an eyebrow. He was still smiling—still pretty. Damn it. Rin held himself good, but he ended up blushing after Reo stuck his small tongue out.
“You would want it so much, wouldn’t you?”
Yes, Rin would want it so much. So say you are—
Reo got dangerously close to Rin’s personal space. It wasn’t something Rin minded, but he simply thought it was dangerous for Reo.
“I think you are also my equal, Itoshi Rin. In a way no one else was.” He fluttered his eyelashes in a comical manner. “And you are smart. I like the way you boss around. Your skills are nothing to scoff at either. Well, your personality sucks, I would say mine is worse.”
“Smartass.” Rin pushed Reo lightly, not enough to actually send him off. Reo only grinned at the halfhearted shove and shuffled even closer
“And I think you are the prettiest boy I’ve ever met in my two lives.”
“Smartass,” Rin repeated, scowling though his ears burned. He instantly regretted ever calling Mikage Reo pretty. Getting called pretty was embarrassing. Handsome would have been better. If he really was a time traveler, that would be the first mistake he’d correct: call the pretty boy handsome.
Reo’s smirk deepened, his eyes glinting with mischief. “This smartass thinks that you want to kiss him so bad.”
Rin shot him a sharp look. “I thought you weren’t a mind reader.”
“I am now.” Reo tapped his temple with one finger like he’d unlocked some secret skill. “I can even guess your favorite color.”
“Oh?” Rin tilted his head, almost amused despite himself. “I dare you to.”
“Green.”
Reo’s eyes sparkled as he tossed the answer out with confidence. Rin felt just a little sorry for the next word he was about to say.
“Wrong.” An upside-down smile coated his lips. Reo wasn’t unfamiliar with that look on him. “It’s now purple.”
“Oh?” Reo grinned. “Mine is teal.”
“You are so stupid.”
Rin scoffed, but he still leaned in to kiss him, because he had been right. He really, really wanted to kiss this smartass so bad.
Welp, Reo was just as eager, so it all worked out when he closed the distance.