Work Text:
Sterile, isolation, sickness…
The color white reminds me of many things.
Snezhnaya, the lab, my master…
All things I've come to hate.
The Fatui Harbingers, Zapolyarny palace, my old self…
I hate having to wear this lack of color.
My new job in this new life requires it.
It's a sign that people can come to me to be treated.
A sign that I can do good.
And yet…
It reminds me of all the bad I've done.
I've grown past that, I know.
I know I've grown.
I know…
I still can't convince myself that I'll never do that again.
I still can't believe that place no longer exists.
I still fear that all the progress I've done is just an illusion.
And yet…
I've seen glimpses of white.
White in his clothes.
White in his books.
White in his bathtub.
White I don't mind looking at.
He said I look best in purple,
But the white I wear brings him ease of mind.
I can't feel pain,
So I find other ways of staying alert.
When it's just us though,
I let my guard down.
I bleed more easily.
The white makes it easier to see.
Easier for him to notice.
Easier for him to take care of me.
Cleanliness, delicate, simple.
He gives the color white a new meaning.
Purity, innocence, peace.
He makes me like it just a little.