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Sam has witnessed a lot in his life. With all that he has seen you would think nothing would faze him by now. Well Sam thought that too until this morning.
His mind is still spinning as he looks down at the counter where a delicious freshly baked apple pie sat but this wasn't just your average dessert pie oh no this pie right now had a big scowl on it. The apple filling inside moving around causing some of it to fall out and land on the counter.
Sam glares at the mess as he grabs a cloth and cleans it.
"Dean stop."
The pie paused.
But few moments later scowl is back.
"Sam this sucks!" The pie whines.
No you are not seeing things the pie did indeed spoke. Voice garbled by the filling and crust but there was no mistaking that was Dean Winchester. Pissed, bored, scared (Although he won't admit it) and a pie. A freaking pie.
Dean blinks the two little oval holes opening and closing the green apples shining through.
At least the eye color is the same.
Sam finishes up before grabbing his coffee and taking a seat. He opens the laptop and resumes his search. He already given Bobby a call earlier and let's just say the old hunter was stunned into silence but he did then promise to get back to them if he found anything muttering "Idjits" under his breath as he hung up.
"Bobby is already on it." Sam says as he types "I'm looking as well we'll find something but right now just...umm...hang in there."
His brother scoffs.
"Sam I'm a freaking pie what the Hell do you think I'm gonna do?"
Sam shrugs and continues looking through. He didn't even want to imagine what could happen. The situation is messed up even for them.
As Sam works he hears a licking sound followed by a moan. The second moan that followed had Sam's head snapping towards the counter. His eyes then widen.
"Dean...are you..." Sam swallows "Are you eating yourself?"
Dean froze like a deer caught in the headlights. He then sputtered sending crumbs everywhere. After a minute Dean admits.
"I was just curious."
Sam sighs.
"Dean."
"What? I just wanted to know what I tasted like. Wouldn't you do the same?"
"No I would not."
"Not even a little..."
"No!"
It went silent for a few beats.
"It was...good." Dean then says.
"What was good?"
"Me Sam. I tasted freaking good."
"Are you being serious?" Sam couldn't believe what he is hearing right now.
"Uh huh then I shouldn't be surprised this is why the ladies choose me Sammy I'm hot, fun and freaking delicious they can't get enough of it and with some added whipped cream they..."
"Don't..." Sam cut him off "Don't even go there."
The pie shook slightly as a chuckle came through.
"Jeez Sam you have one dirty mind."
That got a classic bitch-face out of the younger Winchester.
"Jerk." Sam mutters as he returns to the screen.
A smirk forms on the pie's features.
"Bitch."
It went quiet again. The older Winchester sniffs himself and mentally groans he smelled so good.
One more wouldn't hurt...
"Dean! Knock it off. "
Dean glares and let's out an annoyed huff.
"Fine!"
Dean didn't stop.
After that first taste he couldn't stop thinking about it. The desire, the temptation is too strong. Whenever Sam wasn't around Dean would lick himself. Just a small lick he told himself but soon licks turned into bites. Each bite sending a clump of crust and filling off the pie. The moans and groans grew. Dean cherishes every bite. Dean has ate many pies through the years but this is the best he has ever tasted. The cinnamon blending with the sharpness of the apples instantly filled him with warmth and the soft flaky crust is to die for. The older Winchester didn't even question how he is able to do this or why he is doing this. His mind is only screamed more word.
More!
As Dean continued to eat the crumbs gradually increased, apples spill around the dish.
His mouth splits into a wide smile but one side sags struggling to hold up.
But Dean keeps on eating. His hunger growing by the minute.
Sam walks in with a plastic bag containing a box of salad and several bottles of water. He almost brought a slice of pie for his brother until he remembered his brother is now the very thing he eats. The thought of it made him shudder.
This is so messed up.
Sam places the bag on the bed and removes his jacket.
"Sa...Sam...my?"
Sam pauses on what he is doing. He frowns at the sound of his brother's weak voice.
Strange.
Also is Dean drunk?
Can pies get drunk?
"Yeah Dean?"
Sam turns around.
The younger Winchester then froze. His eyes bug out. His mouth drops open.
"Shit Dean!" Sam rushes over. Peering down at his brother's crusty filled face he is horrified to see a chunk of the pie has crumbled. Apple filling oozing out like blood pouring out of wound spilling across the surface.
"Sam..." Dean says "I...don't...feel...so good."
Sam eyes go from left to right. Half of Dean's mouth has dropped. One eye is sagging. The whole pie looked close to collapsing in on itself.
"Dean what the Hell?" Sam shakes his head. "How did this happen? How..." His voice trails off and his eyes narrow. "Have you been eating yourself again?"
"No." Dean answers too quick making him silently curse.
Sam clocks the lie straight away. His face twists into anger.
"God damm it Dean." Sam throws his arms up. "I already told you to stop!"
"Mm..sorry S...Sam." Dean replies. "It...tassss...so good."
"Yeah? Well look at you now."
The pie forms a half smirk.
"I look...awe...some ri..ght?"
"No Dean you do not. Right now you are falling apart and if you keep this up you are gonna..." Sam didn't finish the sentence. He didn't need to. The message is loud and clear.
Sam grabs his phone and opens up the camera and snaps a photo which got a curse out of Dean.
"Look." Sam shows the photo.
Dean blinks some of filling away and studies the photo. He then gasps.
"I'm freak..ing cru..mbling."
"No shit." Sam says. "That's why you gotta stop."
"But..." Dean hesitates. "I...can't...s...stop."
"What do you mean you can't stop?"
"I...dun..no just...can't."
Sam frowns. He immediately finds Bobby's number and clicks on it. As it rings Sam sits in the nearby chair his eyes never leaving his brother.
"Sam."
Despite Dean's distorted features Sam can see his brother is scared. if Sam is being honest with himself he is freaking out too. They had no idea where the witch is and how the curse works and most of all how much time Dean has left.
Sam grips the phone and takes a deep breath.
"We're gonna figure this out Dean. You are gonna be ok I promise."
Sam wasn't sure who is convincing here his brother or himself.
Bobby fortunately had a lead and he is already on his way over as the brothers are only a town away from him.
Bobby's warning about the curse turning you into the very thing you love but also ends up being the very thing that kills you has sent Sam into panic. The cravings, the temptation it all made sense now. The witch wanted Dean to eat himself to death.
The image of Dean being nothing but a heap of collapsed pie made Sam feel sick. When he told his brother Dean did his best attempt at puffing himself up.
"I ain't... go...ing out as some freak...ing...dessss..ert."
The dish wobbles as Dean slides forward. He then cracks a shaky half grin that causes flakes to come off.
"Let's...g...gank the bbb...bitch."
Despite the absurdity Sam couldn't help but smile.
Bobby only needed to look once and it was enough for him to already being done with the situation.
"Jesus Christ." Bobby sits. Cap off rubbing his head sighing heavily. He then shakes his head and puts his cap back on and another sigh escapes his lips. "Gotta give it to the witch she's creative." Bobby said in his usual gruff manner. "I warned ya your eating habits was gonna one day kill ya."
"I'm...still...here." Dean shoots back his voice faint. A lopsided smile on his crusted, flaky lips.
"For now." Bobby raises an eyebrow "Sam told me about your secret feasting."
"Curse's...fff...fault."
"Curse or not you better get your head out of your ass. No more ass licking."
The pie cringed at that.
"Did...you...have to...put it like...that."
"I ain't the one committing acts of cannibalism." Bobby points out "Self-cannibalism to be exact."
The older hunter stands up when Sam walks in with the bags packed with the necessary resources.
"You good?" Bobby asks.
Sam nods.
Bobby nods back.
With a plan in place the hunters move out.
Parked outside the abandoned bakery the hunters both human and pie waited going through the plan one last time. After Dean spoke up.
"This...www...will be...a...ppp...piece of...pie."
Sam groans at the terrible joke.
"Seriously Dean."
Bobby cursing under his breath gets out of the car weapon slung over his shoulder, iron at the ready, spell to kill the witch memorized in his head.
"Let's go." He says.
Wary to leave Dean alone Sam had no choice but to take Dean with him. The dish balanced in his hand as he creeps in. His heart racing as he hopes this goes well and he will get Dean back to normal.
In typical Winchester fashion the plan goes sideways.
Sam slumps against the wall his hair dripping with custard after being assaulted by a danish pastry. Bobby on the other end face smeared with jam curses out loud.
Dean well they lost Dean in the process.
Sam couldn't find him because the room is swarming with various bakery items. Cookies, brownies, muffins, bagels everything. It is the bakery from Hell.
Sam looks down at his jeans. His bulge area soaked with cream.
Not that cream!
It was the cream cake's fault it got too over excited when it saw Sam.
That's what a Winchester does to you.
"You like my delicious goods." The witch high pitched squeaky voice cut through the chaos. Her army of baked goods stepping back to create a path for her. She walk through leaving a trail of flour shaped footprints. She puts her hands on her hips and grins showing her decaying yellowed teeth.
"They are my mama's recipes." The witch adds. "She was a lovely woman God bless her soul."
Sam goes to move but the witch raises her hand and pins Sam in place.
"Eager I see." Her grin widens. She eyes his lanky frame and tuts. "Flat as a damm pancake." She shakes her head but soon the smile is back on her face. "Don't you worry muffin I got you covered. You will be so sweet and full you will be irresistible. Even you wouldn't be able to resist."
Her meaning is clear. Sam is about to be her next victim.
Sam however let's out a scoff.
"Yeah that ain't gonna happen. You could say sugar is a sworn enemy of mine."
She tilts her head. Realization then dawns on her.
"Ah a fitness fanatic." She sighs. "You guys are no fun." She leans forward and with her finger removes a dollop of custard that has landed on Sam's chin. She then sucks her finger licking up the custard. "Hmm not bad but you do need some more time then eventually you will oven ready. We just gotta remove that carrot from your backside then we'll be good to go."
The chanting from Bobby made the witch flick her wrist. Bobby's mouth is then gagged by dount. Shoved into his mouth almost making him choke.
"You're crazy." Sam says through clenched teeth.
She laughs.
"Blame the sugar rush honey. Now first we must find that brother of yours. The pie lover." She rises up and adjusts her oversized glasses. "He would have not got too far..."
She is cut off as she splattered in the face. She coughs and wipes her face. She then looks at her hands.
Apple filling?
Before she could respond her face is splashed again.
"Argh!" She removes her glasses and wipes furiously at them. Glaring at her surroundings she yells. "Who is doing that?!"
"Hey ugly."
She turns towards the sound.
Among the sea of high carbs and sugar stood the pie with a infamous Winchester smirk. Well half a smirk as half of his mouth is completely gone now.
Sam struggles against the invisible force.
"Dean!"
"Ah there you are pumpkin." The witch claps with delight. "I see you have been enjoying yourself." She smirks taking in his crumbling form.
Dean again smirks.
"What...can...I...I sss...say I'm a...ddd...delight. SSS...Smooth as...bbb...butter." He winks with his one working eye. Even as a pie he is a charmer.
"Your timing is perfect Winchester I was just about to sweeten that baby brother of yours and if you get any ideas." She curls her fingers in forming a fist. Sam cries out as pain shoots him through. "I might accidentally overcook him and we know no one likes burnt goods."
Dean pushes down his anger and replies.
"You...can...sss...say that again." Forcing a smile he then adds "But...you know... I think I...got something...that mmm...may help. Add...a bbb...bit of a kkk...kick."
She raises an eyebrow.
"Do you now?"
"Uh huh I say...something...sss...sticky."
Just as the witch goes to ask what Dean meant by that there is a creak. A massive barrel starts wobbling Dean grunts and does one more push.
The barrel rocks then falls forward.
The syrup pours out and splashes over the witch. The witch screams and her hands swing around. Soon Dean pushes his dish against another barrel which tips and coats the witch in sugar. She is still screaming the distraction just enough for Sam to break free, grab a rolling pin and whack her over the head.
She falls face first into the ground.
What follows is a crack.
Which most likely came from her glasses.
Soon the witch's minions spring back into action again.
Dean inches towards a downward plank that is covered in flour. He takes a deep breath then he goes down.
He slides down at full speed.
The minions charge towards him.
Dean gathers up his fillings and begins spitting it out. He is like a cannonball firing at the enemies. His apples and crust sending the minions flying. Sam couldn't help but watch in amazement. Even as a dessert his brother is a badass.
The witch sits up her glasses cracked and a tooth is missing.
"YOU!" She screams . She opens her mouth ready to chant but she then gasps as Bobby shoves a donut into her mouth.
"That's enough from you." Bobby says. He crushes a gingerbread under his boot to empathize his point.
The witch glares at him as Bobby digs out the iron cuffs and slaps them on her. He then chants and the witch let's out a blood curdling scream as the flames consume her. As the last words leave Bobby's lips the witch's screams are cut short and she vanishes leaving a pile of ash behind.
Bobby satisfied scoops up the cuffs.
"Looks like you are the one who ended up as burnt goods. " He says as he kicks the charred donut away with disgust.
The minions all freeze and one by one they explode into dust.
Soon Dean flies off the plank and soars through the air.
Sam's eyes widen and he dives forward hands outstretched. He catches Dean just in time as he hits the ground. Sam curses as pain courses him. He immediately forgets about it as his focus shifts on his brother.
"Dean are you okay?" Sam asks his voice breathless.
Dean looks awful. There is only a quarter of the pie remaining. The only part left is one hole which represented his one remaining eye and scrapes of the filling and flaky pastry.
Sam's heart is pounding as he stands up with Dean still in his hands. The older Winchester is quiet. Not one sound from him and that made Sam worry even more.
"Dean?"
Bobby glances over. His brows crease with worry.
"Come on kid." He says softly.
The pie stood motionless in Sam's hands.
Sam swallows fearing they are too late.
Then Sam detects movement. It was so quick you would miss it if you blinked. Sam frowns.
"Dean?" He leans forward. He didn't want to get his hopes up.
The hole...the eye blinks.
Sam catches it. His wide eyes go on the older hunter needing to know what he saw was real.
Bobby nods.
That's all the confirmation he needed.
"Dean." Sam sighs with relief. "Man you scared me there."
If Dean had a mouth now no doubt he would be smirking and bragging about how awesome he looked just now. Sam smiles at the thought and adds.
"And yes you were pretty awesome out there."
His brother again blinks.
Sam chuckles.
Several minutes later Bobby finds the spell book which contained the reversal spell. So with the ingredients set up and Dean placed in the middle Sam and Bobby begin the reversal spell.
The pie lights up bright then slowly expands in size. Soon it's shape shifts and takes on the form of a human. When the transformation is done the light dies down and Dean with a big grin on his face steps out.
"See Sammy." He speaks his voice clear again. "Told ya I wasn't going out as a dessert." His eyes then drift downwards towards the mess on Sam's jeans.
"Don't say anything." Sam warns.
Dean shrugs innocently and smirks "Wasn't gonna say anything." He chuckles as he receives a bitch-face from Sam.
"Right." Bobby dumps a bag in Dean's hands. "You can help pack up."
As Bobby turns round Dean rolls his eyes.
"I saw that." Bobby says.
Dean sighs and begins packing.
"It's like you got eyes in the back of your head." He says.
"Damm straight I do." Bobby replies with a huff. "Now get going cuz I ain't staying here all night Hell I don't think I'm gonna be setting foot in a bakery again."
Sam agrees and bites back a grin as Dean again rolls his eyes.
"Dean!"
"Okay okay Bobby I heard ya I'm going."
With the bags packed in the trunks and another case solved the Winchesters are on the move again. After bidding Bobby farewell the old hunter gets into his pick up truck and drives off.
Sam waits in the car and searches for their next case. He soon stops when the door opens and Dean gets in. Sam looks round. He then froze as his eyes land on Dean's lap.
You got to be kidding me.
Dean oblivious to Sam gawking at him picks up the slice of cherry pie.
"Come to Papa." Dean has his first bite and hums with pleasure and content. "Ah yeah." He swallows and smiles. His smile then turns into a frown when he notices Sam's expression. "What?"
Sam shakes his head with disbelief. The
"Dean...After everything we just been through after you almost...ate yourself to death you...you buy freaking pie?"
"Well yeah I think I deserve one don't ya think?"
"But..." Sam sputtered. "You were just a..."
"A pie? And? What's the problem?"
"It hasn't put you off."
Dean bursts out laughing at that.
"Sam it's gonna take more than turning me into a pie to put me off freaking pie. "
He has another bite that makes Sam cringe. Dean licks the jam off his fingers.
"And as they say..." Dean adds with a grin.
"...You are what you eat. "
The End