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“I’m so fucking screwed.”
That singular thought is blaring through Espresso’s mind as he realizes a stupid test is coming up. In two days, he was an idiot and forgot.
To Espresso’s defense, he had much more important things to stress over the past week. And yes, he may have studied the syllabus to absolute memorization and still forgot, but can you blame him when he had 5 other assignments he had to worry about? That’s not even including the after school stuff he has to work on…
In sticky situations like these where he basically has to cram, there’s a simple solution. Using a secret recipe and a little magic, his coffee turns from a simple brew to a powerhouse energy drink.
Currently, he’s speed walking back to his place with his roommate, Madeleine. It’s off campus, and Espresso unfortunately does not have a ride but the thoughts racing through his mind are enough of a distraction to not focus on the ache in his feet.
Once there, he prepares the brew.
A tall cup of espresso with a dash of dark chocolate, a cup of sugar, and some Hollyberrian berry juice along with a simple spell and done! Caffeine multiplied by 100!
After he prepares his study area with sharpened pencils and well-written notebooks, he downs the brew and enters the flow state. It’s thrilling and reinvigorating, and just what he needs.
Espresso feels he’s like he’s being split in half.
Lotsa hours in and his mind is begging for rest while his eyes can’t seem to shut. He's been doing flashcards like mad, writing and doing every method under the sun, drying out two whiteboard markers in the process.
Each time Espresso snaps a pencil due to pressure, he switches gears. From the Feynman tactic to active recall. From flashcards to Pomodoro timers. Healthy, no, but as usual it’s working for Espresso.
Suddenly, his whole metro, not train, his whole FLEET of thoughts is interrupted with the opening of the front door. Madeleine.
If Madeleine caught Espresso right now, he just KNOWS how fucked he’ll be. Really not wanting to deal with an insufferable Madeleine, he hastily turns off the lights and jumps into bed, feigning sleep. Closing the door is too risky anyways, it’s always creaky.
Shadows pass by his door, as Madeleine steps into the other’s room. Instantly, he can see the strewn about papers and madly written words on the whiteboard. His gaze shifts from the surroundings to Espresso himself, before his face shifts from neutral to unimpressed.
“You're awake. You forgot to close your eyes hah-geez your eyelids are twitching like mad…” Madeleine starts to tease before stopping himself, getting concerned.
The other takes a step towards Espresso, and that’s when he throws in the towel. Really? Forgetting to close his eyes? Espresso usually is way smarter than Madeleine, but clearly this was one of his weak moments. Rare.
“What did you have for dinner?”
“The leftover lasagna, 10:43 PM…”
“Well it’s 3 AM now so surely you could go for another meal, c’mon.” He insisted. Madeleine stands expectantly for a couple seconds before being joined by Espresso, flush by his side, as the two start walking to the kitchen.
Well, Espresso tries to.
He’s twitching constantly and all his brain wants is sleep. Madeleine tries his best to help him throughout the way to the kitchen. It’s quiet for a while, but then Espresso speaks to the other.
“Y’know… you don’t have to do this for me. I know there’s no stopping you cause you’re a stubborn fool, but really I could do this myself.”
“I know you can, I just like being around you.”
He says casually and matter of factly. Espresso always hated how easily he can just say stuff like that! Like it’s such a non issue for him! He's been saying mushy stuff for a while recently. Always sudden, always sincere.
“Do you er… not want me to be here?”
Espresso responds quickly with a shake of his head, before grabbing two instant noodle cups from the pantry. Madeleine lets out a hearty chuckle and nudges his shoulder.
A quick dinner later and Espresso’s special brew has officially worn off. He groans, as he slumps his head onto his pillow. He hears some airy chuckles from the other sitting next to him. A simple one finger gesture is all he can muster to retaliate.
“Has the oh so mighty Espresso fallen into… relaxation for once?” Madeleine teased.
If he had the energy, Madeleine would’ve gotten a witty retort as usual. Instead, it’s half hearted mumbles and a dream. Like slicing through honey, he playfully shoves Madeleine off of his bed. The other responds with a giggle as he steps towards his own bed, just a few feet away.
“Goodnight Espresso! Make sure you actually get sleep because I will know. Please?” Madeleine calls out.
Espresso hears him get snug in the covers soon after and roll over, and he can’t help but feel… empty.
He’s alone with his thoughts, and through the absolute mess of pleas to sleep and long chapter review, there’s always a quiet, persistent message. The same weird feelings he’s had towards the other for a while.
Sure, they’ve known each other for a while, and Espresso could slowly feel himself like Madeleine more and more, but it was never like that. Right?
He’s cold.
And he’s restless.
And oh, how much he just wants to just curl up and take the biggest sleep of his life right now. What was he thinking! Studying for a whole 9 hours and 21 minutes? Yeah it worked, usually it does for him, but he never feels good after. Geez he needs to find a new study method… or maybe some actual warmth because these flimsy college blankets are not doing it!
He knows what he’s planning to do is stupid, and reckless, and might permanently change the trajectory of his somewhat friendship with the other…
But he’s tired. And that’s a good enough excuse.
Madeleine stirs from his sleep as he feels a weight on his mattress. Whatever it is, it’s warm. and smells of coffee… coffee? Madeleine groggily opens his eyes and is dumbfounded at the sight.
Espresso. The one he’s been crushing on for months. In his bed. HIS BED. And also extremely freaking super duper close to him. Espresso’s face is pointing downwards at his ribs and when he speaks, Madeleine feels the vibrations directly on his torso.
“Madeleine. This is temporary cause I feel awful right now. Do not ruin this with you being… you.”
As much as Madeleine wants to tease him over this, he respects his wishes and stays quiet, choosing to fawn in silence. He can’t help the stupid grin that creeps onto his face though, but he reminds himself that nothing is official yet. To calm it down.
Nevertheless, he lets himself indulge a tiny bit by shifting closer and carding his fingers through the others brown locks. Something he’s always wanted to do. It's just so tempting! and thank DIVINE Espresso seems to have no complaints, evident on the tiniest rare grin on the others face and calm breathing.
Due to this, Madeleine teeters the line even more. He scooches closer, now resting his chin on Espresso’s shoulder as he falls into a deep state of sleepy bliss. All he could feel is the other’s body next to him. All he can hear is the others incoherent mumblings and airy exhales. All he can smell is the lingering aroma of coffee the other always seems to have.
His left hand trails down to his shoulder, and in realization of how tense it is, starts performing a light massage to which Espresso can only stifle a gasp to respond. His fingers, now rubbing in circular, tender motions to ease the aching. During this, Espresso tries his best to steady his breathing and close his eyes.
“Am… is this helping at all? I hope it’s making you sleep easier.” The blonde had sheepishly said.
His response is given to him through a sigh, faint nod of the head, and a low hum. Espresso opens his eyes slightly to glare at the other’s face while responding.
“Mads, I swear if you start gloating about this in the morning-“
“Okay okay! Don’t worry, no gloating… sadly.” Madeleine says half chuckling. He wishes he could, but he doesn’t want to pester him TOO much.
Sometime during this short talk, Madeleine’s arms have snaked their way inside the other's shirt and is now holding the other in a lax embrace. So much for being casual.
“I’m not going overboard here am I?”
“Yeah, you’re fine.” Espresso quietly replies.
He’s in crisis mode, rethinking everything about the dynamic he’s had with Madeleine for a while. Somewhere between now and when they first met, Espresso’s view on Madeleine began to shift to become more positive. More… adoring.
From seeing him as tolerable to actively seeking him out tonight, what could’ve changed? No way he somehow got a crush on the other. Nope. That’s just not him!
Sure there’s no denying that Madeleine is conventionally attractive, even Espresso can see that. From his strong stature and gentlemanly demeanor… or his admirable determination and perseverance… but it’s not like that means anything!
All the racing thoughts on whatever and whatnot, Espresso finally shuts it all out. He needs to focus on sleep, as that helps the studying stick in his brain. Yeah that’s it. He’s just doing what’s best for the test. He lets himself relax more, deciding to think about it all later, and he practically melts.
What it looks like from the outside is Espresso curling deeper into the embrace of Madeleine’s burly arms. His eyes fluttered shut as his breathing goes steady.
Madeleine lets out a cheer in his head only, and his dopey smile grows even more. He pulls out his right arm from inside Espresso’s button up and moves it up to his hair. He then starts up the soft, gentle stroking of his hair again as the two sit in comfortable silence.
This is soon broken by Madeleine when he practically cooes, “I could get used to this, truly.”
And Espresso feels the same. He’s never felt more safe than here right now, in the others arms. The calming motions of Madeleine’s fingers carding his hair is like quiet lullaby.
Espresso knows this feeling can’t just be friendly anymore, he’s being honest now. He’s also not foolish. He just… can’t seem to care. As the scholar settles and shifts deeper into the other’s space, a silent decision is made between the two of them.
‘Cuddle now, talk later.’
And that works for him.