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The building was packed to the brim with people, air heavy with sweat. Music was blasting at full volume, pressing against the walls. It was a night of endless partying, of laughter, of too much alcohol.
People stood in every corner, dancing like their lives depended on it. Heat radiated off the crowd, a furnace of movement and noise.
And in the back stood a girl who desperately wanted to belong.
She told herself she should move forward, just a step or two, maybe nod to the beat and pretend to have fun. But when someone’s shoulder brushed against hers, the sudden contact made her freeze. Her heart hammered against her chest, even faster than the music that pounded against her ears.
The strobe lights overhead were painting everything in blurred shades of red and blue. She was getting dizzy, her mind spinning.
She shrank deeper into the corner, clutching her phone like a lifeline, trying to appear occupied. She wanted to belong. She wanted it so badly her chest ached. She wanted to join in, to do what everyone else was doing so freely. But her body resisted. Her chest was tight, her skin prickling with the overstimulation of it all.
Someone stumbled too close, nearly spilling their drink down her side. “Sorry!” they shouted, though their apology was swallowed by the music. She nodded quickly, smile small and fake, like a flimsy mask.
Yoonchae had pictured this moment so differently.
In her mind, she’d imagined stepping into the crowd, laughing with strangers, maybe even proving to herself that she could do what the others did so effortlessly.
Her members always looked so alive when they went out, radiant and fearless. She, on the other hand, always stayed behind, curled up on the couch or in her room.
Sometimes she hated herself for it. For being so innocent. So young. So embarrassingly shy. She wanted to punch a wall when she thought about how immature she must seem compared to the five badasses she worked beside every day.
She wanted to try to be like her older sisters. Just once.
So she’d snuck out.
She was careful not to wake Sophia. Her roommate, her confidant, her almost-mother in this foreign country. It was hard for Yoonchae to do anything without her knowing. Sophia always noticed, always cared. They shared a room, after all. No secrets survived between them.
But she’d miraculously made it out, sneaking into the night with a mischievous smile on her face.
Now, standing alone, heart pounding, regret sat heavy in her stomach. The noise scraped against her nerves; and every brush of someone’s arm against hers made her flinch. She’d never liked loud noises, nor had she ever liked physical touch, so this was a nightmare for her.
She felt so… small here. Too small to breathe.
Why did she even come here in the first place?
With a trembling breath, she slipped her phone from her pocket, shielding the screen from the lights. The lock screen was littered with notifications.
She was getting a headache.
The group chat had blown up. Of course it had.
Sophia had gotten up to use the bathroom not too long after Yoonchae had left, and, go figure…
She’d seen Yoonchae’s bed empty.
Yoonchae sighed. Should’ve made it less obvious.
Sophia had loudly woken the entire group up, earning a bunch of groans and mumbled fuck-yous. Once she’d finally managed to wake everyone, she dragged all of them into the living room.
At first, they were tired, annoyed.
When Sophia told them that Yoonchae was gone? They all shot out of their sleepiness and went into a frenzy.
She meant everything to them. They had practically raised her, taught her English, watched her grow up. Words couldn’t express their love for her.
She was their baby.
soph: yoonchip, where are you? your bed’s empty, sweetie. answer my phone.
LARA RAJ: Seriously, did you go out alone??
mei mei: not funny. you can’t just vanish like this.
dani: we’re all worried.
manz: babe, just tell us where you are. we’ll come get you.
soph: i promise we’re not mad at you, yoonchip. just tell us you’re okay.
The flood of words blurred for a moment as Yoonchae’s eyes stung. They weren’t angry, not really. They were worried for her. Like they always were, like they always would be. She remembered the calm but firm tone Sophia used whenever Yoonchae forgot to eat or stayed up too late. Megan always teasing her and trying to make her laugh. All of the cozy nights she’d spent with Lara, laughing about nothing in particular. Manon’s gentle hugs, the love in her eyes. The times when Daniela would take her shopping, just the two of them. They loved her so much that it hurt.
Yoonchae was crying now. She felt so stupid, crying like this in a room full of happy people.
She blinked furiously, swiping at her eyes before anyone could notice. But of course someone did.
A girl with neon-green eyeliner leaned toward her, voice cutting through the thundering music. “Hey, you okay?”
Yoonchae’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. Her throat was dry, clogged with all the words she couldn’t say. She just nodded quickly, a weak smile plastered on her face, and the girl, mercifully, didn’t press any further. She melted back into the crowd.
Yoonchae’s hands trembled. More messages buzzed in.
LARA RAJ: Yoonie, baby. please answer us.
manz: you’re scaring us.
soph: tell us the name of the place. i’ll uber to you right now.
dani: Don’t make us beg.
mei mei: please.
Her breath hitched. She wanted to throw herself into their arms and let this hellish night fade away. She wanted the safety of her friends. No, they weren’t just friends. They were her family.
But another part of her, the small, stubborn part that had dragged her out here, clenched its fists. She didn’t want to go back just yet, not like a child who couldn’t handle the real world. If she returned now, she’d never live it down. They would always treat her like porcelain.
She wanted to prove she could survive a night like this. Just one night.
But her body was betraying her. Her chest was caving in, each breath shallow. The bass rattled her bones. She thought she might actually faint.
The messages blurred on her screen as her headache worsened. She shut her eyes, shoved the phone away, tried to breathe. Maybe if she just made it through one more song.
Her stomach lurched. No, she couldn’t. She leaned hard into the wall, praying nobody would notice the tears streaking down her cheeks.
Minutes dragged by like hours. Her phone buzzed and buzzed.
After a while, she couldn’t take it anymore.
She opened the chat again, shaking.
yoonchip: i’m at a party. the club on 35th street.
The words sat there for a long time, a single message floating in a sea of panic. She almost deleted it. Almost. But then she pressed send, and the bubble turned blue.
Her chest squeezed tighter. She shoved her phone into her pocket. The music pressed down on her, drowning her in noise. A part of her wanted to run out of the building and keep running until she was too far to be found. Another part wanted to collapse right there, curl up until it all went away.
Her phone buzzed violently. She couldn’t bring herself to look at it again.
A long time passed. She was getting worse and worse.
Until…
The crowd parted, just slightly, and through the haze of flashing lights, she saw them.
Six figures, pushing their way through the crowd. Sophia in front, face carved with worry. Megan’s jaw was tight, her hand clenched like she was ready to tear the whole place apart if she had to. Lara and Daniela were right behind, calling her name over the music. Manon’s eyes were scanning around the room desperately.
Her heart slammed against her ribs. Relief hit her so hard it was dizzying. She didn’t even remember moving, but suddenly Sophia’s arms were around her, pulling her close. The noise fell away, muffled by the warmth and the smell of home.
Yoonchae broke. The sobs ripped through her chest, loud, desperate. Her face pressed into Sophia’s shoulder, tears soaking the fabric.
“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.” Sophia whispered against her ear, words soft but firm, grounding.
The others closed in, wrapping around her until she was cocooned in arms and warmth.
The world was still spinning, but here, in their arms, Yoonchae could breathe again.
A few minutes passed. Just… them. Together.
Eventually, Megan cut through the silence. “Alright.” She said, brushing a wet strand of hair from Yoonchae’s face. “As much as I love a dramatic group hug, we should get out of here.”
Megan was right. The music was still pulsating through the building, the crowd still dancing, the lights still blinding. Yoonchae felt weak, wobbly, her body pressed against Sophia for balance.
Sophia kissed the top of her head. “Come on, yoonchip. Let’s take you home.”
As they walked out of the club, the night air hit like a blessing. Yoonchae let out a deep breath.
“Breathe.” Lara whispered to Yoonchae, squeezing her hand. “You’re okay now, yoonch. Just breathe.”
The uber ride was hushed, the kind of silence that was filled with unspoken love. Yoonchae swiped at her eyes, embarrassed at how raw she felt.
She stared out the window as the city lights streaked by, her reflection pale and puffy-eyed in the glass.
How stupid, she thought. She had wanted so badly to prove herself.
But instead, she had made them worry. Dragged them out into the night. Made them save her from something she should have been able to handle.
She felt a wave of shame, but underneath it was something warm.
They hadn’t been angry.
They’d just come for her. Without hesitation, without judgment.
Yoonchae leaned into Manon, closing her eyes.
Maybe she’d never be like the rest of them.
But sitting here, surrounded by her sisters, she realized she didn’t have to be.
They already loved her more than she could comprehend. Just like this.
~~~
Finally, they returned to the house. They helped Yoonchae inside.
Yoonchae lingered by the door, wringing her fingers. Her heart was still too heavy, weighed down by everything she hadn’t said.
“I’m sorry.” she blurted.
Everyone turned to look at her, and heat rushed to her face. “I… I didn’t mean to scare you. I just…” She swallowed, words catching in her throat. “I wanted to be like you guys.”
Megan stepped forward. She reached out and pinched Yoonchae’s cheek, making the younger girl giggle. “You don’t have to prove anything to us, dummy. You already belong.”
Sophia pulled her into another hug, her voice low against Yoonchae’s hair. “You’re perfect just the way you are, yoonchip.”
“Okay,” she whispered, clinging to Sophia’s shirt.
“Alright, enough crying,” Manon said suddenly, clapping her hands together. “Who wants ice cream? We don’t have any schedules tomorrow, so I say we stay up as long as we want!”
Yoonchae smiled.
Ten minutes later, the girls were piled on the couch, a tub of ice cream balanced precariously between them, spoons clinking. Lara queued up Yoonchae’s favorite movie on the TV. Daniela had draped a blanket over Yoonchae’s lap, and Megan leaned her head against her shoulder.
Megan shoved a spoonful of ice cream into Yoonchae’s mouth with a grin. “See? This is way better than a sweaty club, huh?”
Yoonchae laughed, the sound muffled by cold sweetness. She looked around at all of the girls curled up around her.
And for the first time that night, she didn’t feel small. She just felt at home.
The movie played softly in the background, its light flickering across the walls, but no one was really watching. They were too busy talking in low voices, teasing each other, and stealing spoonfuls of ice cream.
Yoonchae stayed nestled in the middle, warmth pressing against both her sides.
“Yoonch.” Lara’s voice cut gently through the noise. “Next time, don’t sneak out, yeah? If you want to try something, we’ll go with you. Always.”
Yoonchae nodded.
Her phone sat on the table, the forgotten group chat still filled with worried messages from earlier. She reached over, typed quickly, and hit send.
yoonchip: home safe. love you all. thank you.
“Who’re you texting?” Megan teased, trying to peek at her screen.
“No one!” Yoonchae said quickly, tucking her phone under the blanket. She smiled to herself.
Later that night, when the ice cream was gone and the movie credits had rolled, Yoonchae found herself squeezed between Sophia and Manon, her head resting against Sophia’s shoulder. Everyone was sprawled out in various stages of half-sleep.
“Now I know what it feels like to belong.” Yoonchae whispered.