Chapter Text
The storm that had been raging outside was nothing like the one that was raging across the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. She knew that she had no right to complain in the slightest during this time of war, still her favorite utilitarian heels were all but soaked through and she was thanking all the powers that be that she hadn’t gone through the process of drawing a faux stocking seam up the back of her leg; the stocking shortage was really testing her patience for fashion.
The forest green floral printed material of her dress danced below her knees as she stopped on the mat just inside the great red bricked building. Placing her umbrella in the appropriate holder next to the entrance, she then fixated her smile at the grey haired woman sitting behind the cherry stained desk.
“Felicity.” The older woman’s melodic voice chastised. “It’s raining cats and dogs out there. Why ever are you here?”
Today had been Felicity’s day off. She had had plans to explore the city and act as though everything that was going on in the world had just been a horrid nightmare that she’d just woken up from. Still, when Dr. Wells had called letting her know that Caitlin had fallen ill and that she was needed to head up the program for the day, she had caught the earliest train into the city. It had been a privilege, as one of the younger members of the team, to have such responsibility placed upon her shoulders. She was the second in command of the group of women who spent their days using their special set of math and science skills to calculate weapon trajectories, which they would then pass on to soldiers on the front line and bombardiers in the air.
When Europe had erupted into war in 1939, she felt a pull to do something, anything to help the poor innocents. It had been an undercurrent of emotion that ran through the country, with many choosing to turn a blind eye and act as though they were living in an American bubble. They had enough troubles at home, the effect of the Great Depression could still be felt, and America was finding its footing once again. That all changed on an early December morning, over two years ago, with the bombing of Pearl Harbor. America was thrust into war. Many of the young men ran head long in to the fray, signing up to be part of the fight.
Felicity needed to do her part. Everyone was doing their part. So many of her female friends became nurses to help the cause, but she wasn’t any good with blood. Others had found work in factories, but her innate clumsiness made her fearful that she’d do more damage than good. Then she had heard talks of recruiting young female scientist and mathematicians from colleges to be computers, and MIT, her college, was one of the headquarters. She’d approached a professor at the same time that he approached her with the offer.
She never looked back.
“I just can’t seem to stay away Edith. Have you seen Dr. Wells? I’d like to let him know of my arrival before heading in to the office, you know how engrossed I become in my work.”
Felicity smoothed a hand over the high ponytail that she’d captured her hair in, the natural curls would have created a halo of frizz from all of the moisture in the air, but she didn’t have the energy to bother with it a great deal. Dropping her hand, she crooked a finger and used her knuckle to slide the bridge of her glasses just a fraction higher on the bridge of her nose. The glasses had been a gift to herself with her first paycheck, her old ones were held together by pure spirit alone, these were made of sleek lines that complemented the softness of her features.
“He and several officers are in the back analysis room; but I’m certain he’d like to see you before you get a start on your day.”
Making small talk for a few moments longer, Felicity parted from Edith with the sole mission to touch up her face – and possibly try to smooth her hair – before she met with any officers. Dr. Wells she saw day in and day out, he’d seen her with her hair coming loose of its hold which caused her to look extremely disheveled. Officers, however, did not need to see her looking in any way unkempt. They needed to trust in her abilities and in the team’s.
Turning her gaze down she opened up her pocketbook, as she moved through the winding halls without real thought. Most of the past two years had been her in this building and she knew it like the back of her own hand. Felicity was distracted by thoughts of the day and what needed to be done, when a male voice caught her attention.
“Ma’am?”
The deeply male voice caused her to pull her hand from her pocketbook and turn, the lipstick that was in her grasp fell out, only to bounce and then roll towards the man’s feet. He was dressed in an olive green Army officer’s uniform, his hat tucked under his right arm, and a single crutch placed under his left arm as he limped at a calculated rate toward her.
My, the man was exquisite.
In no way was the man beautiful, his features had been hardened by the war, or so she imagined. There was a stern almost jagged look to him, everything about the man was angular, and she wondered if him smiling would soften his features in any way. Even with all of that, or maybe because of it, Felicity couldn’t think of any other man she’d rather stare at all day. Still, he had called out to her for a reason, surely he didn’t just want her to gawk at his attractiveness. She needed to stop staring. Giving her head a light shake, she lowered her gaze and found her voice.
“Yes?” She asked on an exhale of breath, as she crouched low and followed her runaway lipstick across the floor. This was extremely un-ladylike, was the thought on repeat in her head. First she had gawked and now she was chasing her tube of lipstick, these were not the first sort of impressions that anyone would want to make. Color bloomed across her cheeks as she found herself by the man’s feet, her arm outstretched to pick up her lipstick when she saw thick tanned fingers wrap around it and then held it out to her.
Felicity’s eyes drifted up from his fingers to his vivid blue eyes. Oh dear, she forgot how to breathe for a moment. Looking up at him, his large body which he had half folded down to meet her, his free hand holding on to his crutch for balance purposes, and he was smiling. The smile, which looked like it was out of practice, caused her heart to trip up as it took some of the hardness and years from his face.
“Thank you for that. I must say that you startled me. I was in my head as to this equation that we’ve been working on, and then the lipstick went flying, which you know how that all ended because you saw it happen.” Taking her lipstick from him, Felicity then took the hand he offered to bring herself up to her unimpressive height; her face flushed further to a deep scarlet. The man’s smile had become more natural and she saw laughter crinkle the corners of his eyes, it did amazing things for his face, “I’m certain you didn’t call out just to hear me babble. Which I will stop in three, two, and one. How may I help you Colonel?”
“Would you happen to know where Dr. Wells is?” My, he did have a lovely voice.
“Well, it’s your lucky day, I was just heading to see him myself before I begin work for the day. I’d be honored to accompany you for the short walk.”
Her mind was yelling at her that she needed to touch up before she did any more, but the words spilled from her lips before she could stop them. He gave her a nod of thanks, so she knew there would be no hopes of fixing herself up. It was all probably for the best. She didn’t need it to seem like she had this job to solely to get herself a man. Her mother had hoped that Felicity’s desire to go to college would have her married within a year, but now she was twenty-three and still no prospects in sight. True, the world was at war, and her love life was not of great importance, but if you asked her mother, she’d have a different view of the matter entirely.
“You mentioned an equation had your mind occupied and that you are headed to begin work for the day. I take it your one of the computer girls.”
The Colonel struck up conversation as they idly walked down the barren hall. He wasn’t asking a question, at the same time he was, and Felicity smiled up at his apparent unease at small talk. She wondered how long had it been since he had to participate in such discourse. He was injured -- or possibly this was him healed from an injury, he did look rather settle with the crutch, would he forever need its assistance to walk? On that note, had he been fixed up overseas? Was now helping lead the charge from a behind the scene post? If that was the case, then he probably did take time with idle socializing. This man was evidently a man of action, she could tell that much from the way he held himself, sitting back and just watching would not be something that he would enjoy. Felicity was certain that he gave the nurses and doctors hell.
“I am the second lead for the computing trajectories, first lead for the mathematics portion of the venture. Caitlin Snow is first lead for the team and for the science division, with of course Dr. Wells overseeing our program on a whole. It nice knowing that I’m able to do my part using my talents that many have brushed off.”
“Why would people brush them off?”
“They are not becoming of a lady of course. My mother was hoping for me to find a husband and leave all the math and schooling behind, but after doing meaningful work which I enjoy, it would be hard for me to find joy in just being a wife. Not that being a wife and mother wouldn’t be rewarding, it’s just,” she paused looking for the proper way to state her thoughts, instead of letting her mouth run away from her, “I like knowing that I’m doing good for the world. It’s a euphoric sensation, knowing that this thing I’m good at can make the world better. Does that make sense?”
He gave her a slight nod, so she took that as her cue to continue talking, “When I was thirteen I took apart the family radio, because I wanted to understand how it worked. Growing up, my thoughts were on numbers and equations, how data could be inputted and then through the science of number there be an outputted answer to the data. It just isn’t how a lady should be. I’ve probably been told it for nearly my entire life.”
She felt her shoulders wilt somewhat as she half mumbled her final words. Not that she wished to fit into the ideal mold, but she did want her mother and the world to know that she could be a woman and be a mathematician. The two weren’t mutually exclusive.
“You are very becoming as a lady. And I know the country is grateful for all that you do here.” His words caused a blush to warm her cheeks and if she had taken that moment to look up at him as he spoke, she would have noticed the coloring of his own cheeks.
“You keep letting me babble on.” Turing a corner they came, she stopped just before a wooden door on the right, and angled her body toward the Colonel while tipping her head back to look up into his eyes.
“I enjoy your voice.”
“I think you just enjoy seeing me blush.”
He gave her a boyish grin, which caused her heart to pick up speed. Felicity felt a flutter of feminine awareness. She’d thought him exquisite before, but with that grin, her knees nearly gave out. She’d originally thought him to be at least a decade older than herself given his rank ,but now she was struck at just how young he was, possibly only in his late twenties. Distracting herself from where her thoughts wished to wander, or at least trying to, Felicity thought of the numbers as she turned her attention to the door and gave a quick sharp rap of her knuckles on the wood before pushing it open.
“Dr. Wells, I believe I found a missing Colonel roaming the halls.” Smiling brightly at the officers in the room with a slight nod of her head as a way of greeting, she then landed her gaze on her supervisor. Dr. Wells had been one of her professors, the one that had recruited her as fate would have it, his lean-wiry frame stood out from the three other men in the room. He was a brilliant scientist and looked like a man who spent a great deal of time pouring over research.
The impressive bulk of her Colonel came up behind her and she stepped aside to give him full entrance into the room, “Ah, Colonel Queen. Welcome. I see that you’ve already met Ms. Smoak.”
Colonel Queen.
She wished she’d been forward enough to request his name, instead of letting her mouth get away from her about her work and her place as a woman in today’s society.
Colonel Queen gave a nod of his chin as he entered the room. The sleeve of his right arm brushing gracefully across Felicity’s front as she held the door open and she fought back a visible shiver, “Now that we are all here, gentlemen, I’d like to introduce Ms. Felicity Smoak. She is the mathematics lead for the program, and second in command. Ms. Smoak came in on her day off because Ms. Snow has, regretfully, fallen ill.”
She felt all the eyes on her and gave the room her best smile, “And now I must, regretfully, bid you all good day, but please, feel free to stop in and see the team in action. If you’ll excuse me gentlemen, it was lovely meeting you all.” Giving a dip of her head, and forcing her gaze not to linger on Colonel Queen, she left the men to their meeting.
---
Felicity sat in her chair, with her legs pulled up and under her in the way a child might sit on the ground. The table she sat at had papers and books littered across it, as she held her pencil in between her lips, her eyes scanning the equation and calculation she’d spent the better part of five hours working on. It was now well pass lunch time and the rest of the team were working on separate projects. She’d make sure to pop in and see how the work was coming. They all would look over each other’s work to make certain of no error, she could see how people would find it tedious, but she loved every moment of it.
Pushing her glasses farther up the bridge of her nose, she was fully enraptured in the numbers upon her page and just called out a ‘come in’ when there was a faint knock on her door. The pencil that had been in her lips now was being flicked at a high rate of speed between her pointer and middle finger, causing a frantic drumming upon her notes.
“If you just give me one more moment, I’ll hand you over the file and you can have a double look at the numbers to make certain everything lines up, then we can send it off to Commander Diggle’s unit. Do you know if any progress has been made for the Barry’s team? He said that he’d telegraph for an update by the end of today, and I’d like to have it for him if we can.” Barry, her best friend from childhood, had joined up in the air force just out of high school; he was fast, probably one of the best pilots out there in the skies. The air force wouldn’t take him at first because he was five pounds under the requirement. So, Felicity had helped him gain the five pounds and a week later he was enlisted. It wasn’t the ideal situation, but she was proud of the work he was doing and would do whatever she could to help him on out.
“I’ll look over it but don’t know how much help I would be.”
Her pencil dropped from her fingers and her gaze snapped up at the sound of Colonel Queen’s voice. There he stood, just inside of her workspace, his size making the room – which was already quaint -- feel smaller and he looked slightly uncertain.
“Colonel Queen, this is an unexpected surprise.”
A good surprise, in Felicity’s book.
Getting to her feet she smiled brightly up at him, “Just give me a moment to check in with my team and hand off this file.” Looking around the room for an empty seat, she got up and took a stack of books from a chair and offer it to him, while holding the file to her chest. “I’ll be back in two ticks.”
Which she was, with a new file in hand; once she was done with the Colonel, she was going to look over the latest report for Barry. Colonel Queen had sat his muscled frame in the chair and angled it towards her desk; the crutch was leaning against the wall, which was just an arm’s reach away. There was a brown paper bag now sitting upon her desk and she cocked her head to the side as her eyes wandered back to the man who seemed to be filling much of her work space who was watching her with interest burning in his blue eyes.
“Now, at what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” Felicity closed the door behind her and moved passed him to seat herself properly at her desk, putting the file down and placing her chin on top of interlaced fingers, her elbows firmly planted on the wooden tabletop.
“I was told you worked through lunch.” Who had been tattling on her? It was most likely Carol - Carol tended to be a mother hen of sorts - not that Felicity would complain most of the time because it was just her way of showing affection. However, Felicity didn’t want Colonel Queen to worry about her. He’d clearly seen much more of the world than she had and she would not add her petty problems on to his shoulders to carry.
Colonel Queen was a man who would instinctively shoulder all burdens, as though he were Atlas, caring the world on his shoulders. For a fleeting moment, Felicity wondered if he would share his own burden with her so that she might aid him.
Shaking off the thought, she waved off his words, “I become engrossed in my work. There are worse things that could happen than skipping a meal.”
“True but I was informed you have made this a habit.”
It had to have been Carol chatting his ear about her.
“Gathering intel on me?”
A sheepish look came across his face, and again she wondered just how many years he had on her. When she’d first met him in the hall, Felicity had placed him in his thirties from the lines of his face and the depth of his eyes. Though now, with boyish look to his face, he looked closer to her age. It was truly amazing what war did to the soul.
“I like to know all the variables.” Was his terse response, and it caused Felicity’s smile to widen because it was obvious the man was not used to being teased; for some odd reason that pleased her. Pulling the stoic expression back across his face, he continued, “I brought you something to eat Ms. Smoak. Your country needs you to keep up your strength.”
And indeed, in the brown bag was an apple and what appeared to be a cheese sandwich. Warmth spread through her veins, it was such a sweet gesture. Taking out the sandwich, she smiled brightly at him.
“Please call me Felicity, Colonel. This was incredibly thoughtful of you. Thank you.” She received a nod in reply, and watched him war with himself as she took a bite of the sandwich. It was delicious. Clean and simple flavors that filled her stomach. In all honesty, she hadn’t realized how hungry she’d been till she took that bite and fought back the urge to cram the rest of it down her throat.
“I’m going back tomorrow morning.” That took all thoughts of her hunger away and she put the food down, looking at him with wide eyes, “Have the first plane out.”
Wetting her lips, she said the only thing appropriate that came to mind, “Then I wish you all the best Colonel.”
“Oliver.” He corrected, and she couldn’t help but smile.
Oliver. The name suited the man before her.
“Then I wish you all the best Oliver.” He gave her another nod, and she wondered why they would be sending him back, he had obvious issues with his leg after all.
Surely he could find work with the Army while staying in the States. There was a tense moment, the force of acting properly was weighing heavily on her. Oliver didn’t need the tense formality, he was probably looking for the blushing girl who babbled out of turn. “Why are you going back? If you don’t mind me asking.” She hurried to add the second part in fear that he'd think her rude.
He gave her a dark grin that in no way reached his eyes. “Your skills are put to the best use here,” he gestured around her space, “My skills are best for battle.”
“Not to be insensitive, but I have noticed the crutch and limp.” Felicity pointed out as gently as she could. It’s not that she saw him as only a man with a limp, but it was part of him. A story that she didn’t know if she’d ever want to hear, but knowing that if he ever opened up to her, she’d listen with baited breath.
“My days of action are gone, but not all battles require the use of legs. I am still of use. I’m a strategies expert. Told you I like to know all the variables, but I need to be there in the war rooms and in the heart of it all to figure out what the next best move is.” The man must be brilliant, it took a special way of thinking when it came to strategies. Felicity was always more of a billiards or black jack kind of girl when it came to her brain, Oliver on the other hand was a man of chess.
The Colonel was not only the most stunning man she’d ever seen, but she was sure his brain was just as equally so. She immediately didn’t want him in any sort of harm, it was a silly thought seeing as the way the world was at this time, but she wanted him safe. She’d never wanted something so badly in all her life.
“I must confess, I’m not too please at the thought of you in the heart of it all. But I understand the need to be there. Barry has the same drive, I swear he has piloted suicide missions, and I know they are because I’m the one doing the math for him half the time.” There was a slight catch in her voice and she saw Oliver’s face become reserved. His expressions weren’t exactly the most open, but she watched in fascination as he seemed to pull back internally and his gaze barely flicked down to her left hand.
“Barry is your…”
“Best friend.” She rushed to finish his question with her own answer. “He’s a speed pilot. One of the best. Actually he fell in love with a nurse he met after France was taken back, Iris. He glows in his letters about her. Says she can’t wait to meet me, and the feeling is mutual. It’s crazy how love shines through even the darkest of times, gives you a sense of hope.”
“You are remarkable.” Heaven help her, his words caused warmth to spread under her skin.
“Because I believe in hope?”
“Because of everything. You are a remarkable woman Felicity. If this had been another time, an earlier time, I would have asked you out for a dance.”
The sound of his masculine voice caressing her name was not something she'd soon forget.
“Why not now?” Felicity all but challenged. Knowing before he said it the reason for his reserve. Still, this man was a strategies expert, she was certain he’d come into this room with a deliberate plan. The only question was, what was his goal?
“Not in the position to dance anymore.” There was an air of bitterness to his words, at the same time he tried to play it off.
“Hogwash. Come stand. We’ll dance here and you can tell me about you, seeing as you already know how remarkable I am.” Felicity moved to stand in front of him, her hands out stretched waiting for Oliver to grasp them and move to his feet. There was a crackle of energy filling the air and it set her heart fluttering as he took her hands. Hers appeared so slight and pale compared to his as she helped him to his feet and paused while he caught his footing. She placed his hands the dip of her waist and placed hers on the tops of his shoulders and swayed lightly while humming a tune.
The way he held her in such a tentative way at first caused her heart to speed up. Oliver pulled her in several inches closer after a moment, and Felicity had to fight back the urge to close the gap between them and press into the warmth and strength of his body.
There was something about this man that called to her on a visceral level. In no way did she want to fix Oliver, it wasn’t a coddling pull. No, she wanted to be at his side, because she felt that she could take on the world if he stood by her side and just held her hand.
It was silly thought, seeing as she barely even knew the man.
“Will you always have to use the crutch?” Felicity’s question came out low as her feet took a step closer to him, all the while keeping his gaze. She wanted to lay her head upon his chest, but more she wanted to watch his eyes.
“Or a cane.”
She half wondered how bad the injury had been, but quickly chased the thought away.
“Does that bother you?”
“Yes.” Was his open and honest reply, he pressed on without her asking another word. “War changes a man. Stays with him. It will stay with me both physically and emotionally. There are days when I don’t want the visual reminder.”
“Still, you’re going back.” Her voice was soft even to her own ears.
“It’s the right thing to do.” Oliver’s body went rigid, and Felicity moved a hand from his shoulder up to cup his cheek. With the heels she fit under his chin with space to spare, she figured the span of his chest was easily double the size of her own, and although she felt delicate in his hold, she also felt safe. It was an odd sensation to have only known this man for such a short while and feel so very connected with him. Logically it made no sense, but logic never did come in to play when it came to matters of the heart.
His voice broke through her wayward thoughts, “I’d like to write to you, Felicity.”
Focusing back on the man who was swaying with her to no music, she saw the unease in his eyes while he tried to play if off like it was something he did every day. Asking to write to a person in a time of war meant a great deal, it meant putting time and effort, meant waiting for letters and having your heart crushed when one didn’t come in the post.
She wanted to write to him.
“I’d like that. You’re a rather interesting man Oliver Queen. And I don’t mean interesting in any sort of negative connotation. What I mean if you’d be a man I’d like to get to know better. Not that I typically like to get to know men better, I do like to get to know most people on a purely platonic causal level, because it’s rather nice to be able to greet someone by name as you see them in passing. I swear I’m making such a muck out of one simple question you asked me. Now, I must make certain: Are you sure you want to write to me? I can’t promise that I won’t be as wordy in my letters, you may be getting some novels in the mail having a correspondence with me.”
Oliver’s eyes tracked over her, and she pulled in her lip as she watched him taking all that she was in, “What I’ve seen these past couple of years makes it difficult at times to see people not as missions. You are the first person, in a while, that I’ve been able to see as a person, and I’d love to get to know you better.”
Her heart skipped several beats and the notion of breathing became foreign for a moment. Those words were laced with hope and promise. Colonel Oliver Queen, the strategies expert had come to bring her lunch and let her know he wished to write to her. Dear heaven, the smile she gave him was large and bright, she wanted to know more about this man.
“Will you take me out dancing when you come home?”
Felicity was trying to see what he was expecting from the letter. Was he looking just for a companion to write to or did he feel that pull to her that she felt to him.
“Is this a stipulation to you writing to me?” His eyebrow quirked up as there was a teasing light to his words.
“I’m enjoying dancing with you now. I’m certain I’d enjoy it more if I got dressed up and there was music.”
“You’d like to see me again?” It was much more of a statement than a question. Felicity watched in wonder as the rigid way he held his shoulders fell away, and an ease in the way he held himself took over. The man was complex and slightly damaged, but Felicity couldn’t think of anyone she’d rather spend her time getting to know.
“That is what you wanted? I mean, I assumed from the data that I collected that the reason you’d want to write to me is because you’d like to see me again. Granted I could have read too much in to your request.”
“I’d like to see you when I get back.”
All she could do was smile and shake her head to show that she’d like that as well, a knock at her door pulled her back to the fact that they were in her work space, there was work to do, and there was a war going on. This was not the time to lose her focus.
Stepping from Oliver’s hold, she ran her hands over her dress before calling for the person to enter.
Carol and Stella entered with files stacked high in their arms, and Felicity knew her break was over and that it was time to get back to work. Oliver picked up on this fact as well. He politely greeted the two women and gave one last lingering look to Felicity before saying his goodbye and exiting from the room.
It would be after the brief sit down with Carol and Stella and after going over several files that Felicity realized she’d never given him her address.
Her heart had sank.
---
For several days Felicity had all but beat herself up for not giving her address to Colonel Oliver Queen, then she wanted to throttle him for not coming back to get the information. After all, it wasn’t like she could just ask after him without it raising several eyebrows. She was a computer girl and he was an Officer, they were expected to be professional. It was probably for the best. Felicity needed to place him out of her mind and work on what she did best.
The weeks passed by as a blur of repetition till one day Edith came into Felicity’s work space with an envelope in hand.
“Honey, this was delivered for you.” Edith handed Felicity the envelope with a secret smile before she left Felicity alone in her room; shutting the door behind her with a light click.
The paper felt heavy in her hands as she left her eyes take in the quick precise way her name was written. Nothing about the hand writing was flowery, it was almost as if it was short and to the point, and it alone caused her heart-rate to pick up.
Sliding a finger along the edge she open it up to reveal three pages folded in half. She took them out and smoothed the letter out on her desk with a slight tremble to her hands. Sliding the pages apart, her eyes came to rest on the last page where it was signed ‘With you in my thoughts, Oliver.’