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Silence.
Silence that made the outside world fill the void like white noise. Enough to make a room feel vacant of life but that was left untrue. A soft sound of breathing from a small bundle of blankets made the room alive. An infant fast asleep in an incubator that did not belong to the room cut through the silence as the heartbeat on the monitor finally rang out. A soothing warm light that could be compared to the sun with an evening glow illuminated and caused the small coos of a baby to echo.
Hums of an untold melody filled the medically induced room played alongside the child-like giggles. For a baby that was born from unfortunate circumstances the blessings of a happy baby were still there. There was nothing he could do to change the outcomes of the child but all he could do was watch. The melody to a song he couldn't quite remember the lyrics to while pressing his hand against the glass, almost as if the infant could sense it, the tiny hand reached towards him.
Watching the infant through the glass while the melody died out in his throat, all he could think about was how much the infant looked like his lover. The soft tan skin that was kissed by the sun, the bright blue eyes that imitated the sky and the smile whenever the infant laughed. The babe had nothing that was like him. His pale recovering bleached skin that lacked the love for light, ice blue eyes that put the winter chill to shame and an off putting smile that reserved only for people he disliked.
But tests didn't lie, no matter how many times he ran it. Timothy Drake was a parent now, 19 and alone. It would be a lie if he didn't say he was scared because who was he to be a parent. Tim was smart but somehow was handed a situation he couldn't handle, screw Ra's Al Ghul for putting him in this situation. When a teen acquires a child, doctors tend to give them options but Tim didn't have those options.
Giving the child up would put the child, his child, in danger especially with his potential of getting meta abilities. Giving the child to Bruce was out of the question, there was no telling what he would do. Well there definitely was and Tim wasn't about to let that happen. He could give the baby to the Kent's or at least sneak the baby onto the Kent farm but the chances of Clark asking Bruce for a DNA test was high enough as is. Levels of conflict were there and it all involved one Bruce Wayne, one of the world's greatest detectives.
There was no way Tim could do this, not on his own. Yes he was a stubborn bird and one of the hardest nut cases within the family but dealing with an infant was out of his realm of capabilities. Looking back into the sun beamed incubator Tim had built for his daughter, she looked like a small kitten sun bathing away. Adorable as she was there was no way he would leave her to someone else but he wasn't fit to be a parent, not with his lifestyle.
Sinking into the floor as he falls to his knees, he turns to have his back resting against the incubator box. Tim scans the empty room of the vacant apartment that he crashed into, the mix of blue from the light of Gotham's night and the yellow of the light over the baby filled the room. The lack of furniture and accessories made the white walls imitate a hospital to a tea had it not been for the wooden floor. He was losing it, getting this far with a baby wasn't what he had planned but he couldn't go to his safe houses because LOA and Bruce knew where those were.
He was just lucky that he could steal as much as he did without being caught. Caroline Hill was his best cover and the only one with legal access to medical equipment that he needed. Yes his daughter had to spend a night at Gotham General while Tim snuck into the cave to steal the special lightbulb for supers. It was helpful enough though since Gotham wasn't exactly naturally welcoming to the sun.
Now Tim was left with a decision he didn't particularly want to make but that's all he could do. He reached for the backup cell phone he hadn't used yet, the one device no one else knew off simply because he wasn't about to give away his location. Dialing a number that while shaking was a new quality, what exactly was Tim expecting? Explaining this to anyone was going to be annoying, he already knows what half of them are going to say. He pulls the phone closer to his ear as it continues to ring and it rings for a while.
"How did you get this number?" Tim was going to respond but his voice got caught in his throat until the person on the other end started cursing. "Listen if this some fucking prank call I will get your address."
"Jason?" Tim whispered in hopes he didn't sound too low to not be picked up by the mic.
"Timbit? You little shit, why are you calling me from an unknown number, I have all your other numbers." Jason sounded mildly annoyed but nothing major, he didn't sound particularly busy either.
"B doesn't have this one. Gonna send you a location, need help. Go dark, can't have him finding me right now." Tim spoke as quickly as he could before Jason hung up on him.
The weird fact was that Tim knew he was coming. Jason wasn't one for questions especially if Tim has anything to do with it, their dynamic had changed over the years it was nice having someone who also liked calling Bruce on his bull. The older brother would still give him crap for staying up or taking something from his closet but still hiding a body if Tim asked. The one relationship he never thought he would actually have but did anyway and right now he needs his big brother.
Jason was good if not great with kids and had handled situations like these for a long time even before he was Red Hood. Personal experiences from being raised in the Alley made him more suited than anyone else Tim knew who could keep a secret. So as he waited, Tim hummed the melody again. A song he couldn't remember but felt oddly familiar as if it was from a distant memory, one that he couldn't quite place. Every time he would hum it within the last 24 hours the baby would giggle and Tim who was still on the floor can just imagine her grabbing at the air with her tiny hands.
Tim never thought that minutes could feel like centuries when it came to waiting. He was so used to having a screen in front of him but as soon as he sent Jason the location he turned off the phone and just waited. All that was left was his thoughts as he tuned out the heart monitor and gazed at the blank wall. His mother would have been disappointed in him, she already was for several other reasons but this one definitely took the cake. Children out of wedlock, Janet Drake would have chewed him out before spitting him out again for how stupid he was.
Even if it wasn't Tim's fault which it wasn't, she would still blame him. Had he never taken the suit he would have never met Ra's Al Ghul or maybe he would have but under different circumstances. The court of owls tends to be a pain in the ass when they want something and Tim wasn't exactly not in their tax bracket. Keeping his daughter away from this life was going to be impossible and it wasn't like he could retire without Bruce getting suspicious. Even the thought of having Batman aware of her gave him hives.
Being good at dissociation didn't mean Tim was unaware of someone slipping into the house. That also means that the moment the door to the room he was in was opened, he pulls out his collapsible staff from his scrubs. Being ready for anyone even if he goes down swing, even if he is exhausted beyond repair. Only to be met with the same person swiftly taking his staff and pulling him closer by the arm.
"You are in no condition to be picking fights, though I think your subconscious knew it was me because you would have already knocked out anyone else." Jason huffed, he was in his full Red Hood gear, he pulled Tim into an awkward side hug while shrinking his staff back down to pocket size. Tim hummed while making his way out of the awkward hug and onto Jason's back. He could deny it but Tim always considered him a tall tree to just hang off from.
"Warm..."
"Kid, you can't drift on me now. What's with the baby? You steal them from the hospital? Bitty, you don't dress up as Caroline unless you have too." Jason adjusted Tim while walking closer to the incubator. Tim pressed closer to Jason's back to look over his shoulders, he pointed to a clip board that Tim sat on top of the box.
"Didn't steal it, it's mine." Tim could feel Jason tense, even in that silence a lot of questions went through Jason's mind and Tim knows that he should have phrased that a little better.
"Tim, who- Was this consensual?" Jason's mask was definitely muffling the tone of voice but his question was direct. He shook a bit to signal Tim to climb off and once Tim was on the ground Jason turned around fast and placed both of his hands on Tim's shoulders. "Tim, answer my question. Who the fuck did this to you?"
"Ra's?" Jason swore hard and Tim definitely fucked up but he grabbed on to his brother he did something stupid. Seeing green was probably not the best but Jason wasn't going to hurt Tim.
"Let me take care of him, little bit. I knew he was a creep but this is too fucking far."
"Jason, it's not his. It's mine but not like that. I don't think I could hide a pregnancy from B, Steph tried but you see how she got out of it. Ra's used my DNA and made it." Not that Tim didn't feel a bit violated, he really didn't have time for a gender dysphoria episode right now.
He wasn't going to blame a little girl who had no choice but to be alive, she was just like him. Tim knows for a fact that he would be upset with him if he treated her any less than kindly. Tim has every right to be upset but to take it out on a child who was barely a couple of days old would not be fair to her and much less to anyone else. There was only one person to blame and that was himself all because he got involved.
There was no way that he could be a parent but he also can't give her up to adoption so the best he can do now is rely on the options that he has. His siblings. The people who won't tell Bruce for the bare minimum, Bruce would definitely take her away. Not that he could blame him, he wasn't exactly the most stable person in the world but Tim didn't want another Child soldier. Kon was made as a weapon but ended up being his own person even towards the end.
Their child, their daughter shouldn't be subjected to the same fate and if anyone else was to find out who she came from Tim would have a lot of problems on his hands. Lex Luthor was already annoying as is but if he was to find out that one of his "projects" had evolved he would definitely try to play the victim. Or even having her in the public eye people would make assumptions or even try to testify against a teen having a child even if he is a legal adult. There are too many downsides on both sides of his life, from being a young CEO to two companies and being Red Robin.
Ra's knew what he was doing when he put Tim in this position but there's nothing he could do about it now. Adoption within the family should be relatively easy and perhaps Jason would take her if not him then Dick would probably take her too. His two older brothers were actually really good with kids. The only reason he didn't contact Dick was because he was out of state at the moment. Not that it wasn't much of a choice but if Dick was around he would have told him at the same time he told Jason.
"Well who's the other parent? If the little bastard doesn't show up I swear to God I'll put them in the ground myself." Jason slightly tapped the glass to get the baby's attention and she started smiling and giggling. Tim choked out a dry laugh, the irony of what Jason just said.
"Connor." If Tim didn't know any better he would have broken down right then and there even mentioning his name felt wrong. It's only been a couple of days but his family knew more than anything Kon meant a lot to him. Even if Tim was too stubborn to confess it to him. The silence between the two brothers spoke volumes and Tim can already see that even through a mess Jason's face contorted.
Realizing what he said was essentially impossible since there was no body and Connor was already gone. Jason's silence was an apology all in itself, he would never say the words out loud but Tim knew what he meant. Truth be told he never actually got around to explaining what he had been doing for the last couple of days but he was close to the edge. Tim was definitely classified as one of the more insane Bats especially to outsiders.
Tim knew that deep down what he had been trying to do was stupid but he was blinded by grief. A child was never in the works because what he had been trying to do was bring Connor back just to wake up to a basket on his doorstep. Some people are cruel to those who grieve and those who grieve tend to be cruel to those who are just trying to help. Tim was definitely the former but there was nothing stopping him from being the latter and he could be, only to one person in particular.
Why on Earth did anyone think that he should have a baby was beyond him. He was already good at multitasking and this was just another thing to add to that list but not if he passed her on to someone else. He was hoping that he would be able to pass her on to someone else, someone more suited than he was. Nowhere in his right mind should he even be allowed to be a parent, even if she looked like a carbon copy of him and adorable in her own way.
"What are you thinking about Timbit?" Jason leaned on him putting enough pressure to almost act like a weighted blanket.
"If I asked you to, would you take it?" Tim sounded hollow but there was no emotion to his question. What was wrong with him? Treating her like an object to be sold was terrible but he wasn't exactly sure how to deal with her.
"Where am I taking y'all?"
"Not me, that. Just that. Would you take it in and raise it?" Tim couldn't look Jason in the eye nor could he stop looking at the baby in front of him. She deserved a better life but Tim wasn't exactly sure how to give it to her without running into issues.
"Tim, she's your kid. Stop calling her a that or an it. You don't honestly think that I would be better than you right?" Jason scoffed but he didn't move. Tim did honestly believe that he would be better than him.
The natural scale of being good with children and already having a child of his own. Lian may not be his biological kid but Jason and Roy were good parents. Hearing his niece constantly rave about how much Jason was the best dad or how much Roy loved her and cherished her, of course Tim would think that Jason would be a better parent. There was literally no other reason to think otherwise.
"Tim, I can help you but I can't do that. Keep her away from Bruce? That I can do. Help you get this apartment officially and just put it down as one of my safe houses? That I can do. But taking over as her guardian when her dad is literally right here? I can't do that. I know it's a very different experience but Tim, she needs her dad. She needs one of them since she can't have the other. Trust me man, kids know and if you disappear on her, she will know." Jason tried reasoning with him but it didn't make sense to Tim.
She was a baby and their brains aren't fully developed, how would she know? The best she would have growing up is remembering that her dad has black hair and bluish eyes and Jason mildly fits that description. But she looked nothing like him so it didn't really matter, it wasn't like she was going to be able to see him and be like 'oh that's actually my dad'. She was better off with somebody who is more equipped to handle children.
Tim taps the glass of the illuminating incubator, the soft light made in the box warm. Something so cheerful shouldn't be his or even in his general vicinity, his biological family don't exactly have a track record for staying alive for long. He wouldn't be able to protect her especially with the amount of enemies that he has. Plus children that age tend to die from numerous things and Tim was someone who could get sick very easily. She could get sick very easily just by being around him.
Jason wasn't going to take her on so Tim had to move on to the next best person but he would have to wait until he was around again. So Tim does what Tim does best, he plays a role. He is going to have to be less direct when he talks to Dick but he already can see that the oldest would be more than happy enough to take care of her. So now it was simply a waiting game until the next best person could enter and take her away.
Since the apartment Tim crashed into was near the Alley it was easy for Jason to get a hold of the owner. It was late and they would have to wait until morning but Jason was more than willing to help him move the stuff out of the apartment before anyone else could figure out that he was staying there. Of course they would have to move it all back in but it was best to have one location instead of two. Feeling an incubator wasn't exactly easy especially with the baby inside.
The only reason she was in such a contained space was simply because she was unique. A quarter Kryptonian and the rest were human, the first of her kind just like her father. Who knew exactly how unstable she would be and Tim wasn't about to risk it, letting her die wasn't exactly an option. It was an option at first but anytime Tim even thought about it something would hurt more than he thought it would. His mission was to make sure she stayed alive until he was able to get her to the next person, Tim was a middle man, that's all.
Even if Tim told Jason to forget about what he just asked he knows that Jason didn't exactly believe him. He didn't ask any further questions but Tim could just tell that Jason had opinions, he wasn't about to voice them. The last thing he needed was to deal with somebody judging him when Tim never asked to have a child. The sooner she is with someone who actually cares the better and everything could go back to normal.
So they carried on and Jason made a plan, Tim did try talking him out of the extra security but Jason wasn't going to budge. Ra's Al Ghul was a bastard and he would do anything to make Tim suffer, alongside the fact that he was an absolute creep. They decided on a compromise since Jason refused to leave him alone and Tim refused Jason getting revenge on his behalf. That house was under Red Hood's protection and if anyone looked a little closer it would just be witness protection which was technically true. A new identity was formed of a woman who lives there with her infant.
Jason was confused on why Tim didn't just say that he was a single dad but people tend to believe single mothers over single fathers. Screw his dysphoria every single time he wore a wig, it was a silly problem for him to deal with later. This was also that no one would question or figure out who was actually living there. So Tim wouldn't lead anyone back to the apartment if they didn't know it was him. Abigail Carter and her daughter, Courtney Carter.
There were days that Tim was able to convince Jason to take care of her for a while, while he went to distract Bruce with something. He hadn't been home in a couple of days, they knew it was a mission and he had to give his report. The small realization that the only person aside from Jason who knew about the baby was Barbara. Before Tim made his way back to Wayne Manor Barbara had stopped him in the streets to pull him aside.
She had shown the footage that Tim had doctored into the hospital security cameras making sure that it seemed as if he was never there. The Oracle was smart and he knew that she knew but she wasn't going to say anything and told him that when he was ready he should talk to her. Tim put that under consideration but it wasn't like he was ever going to actually act on it, there was nothing to talk about when she was in someone else's care. But Barbara didn't need to know that so he told her that he would and went on his way.
Nothing about Wayne Manor really changed while he was away. Steph, Cass and Duke were all training in the cave and Bruce was at the computer. The others paused to wave at Tim and he waved back, at least all of them seemed cheerful in a way. Bruce, on the other hand, was scrolling through multiple files related to Tim's case that he had been working on before he left. Tim swiftly made his way around Bruce's arms to install a USB to the computer which didn't exactly startle Bruce but he was shocked. There was no surprise there Bruce looked like he was halfway dead.
"Tim, where have you been? You stopped checking in and when I went to go look for you Barbara said that you had returned to Gotham 2 days ago." Tim knew it had been a bit longer but Barbara was clearly stalling Bruce thankfully.
"The LOA was pushing boundaries on certain things and I had to go take care of that. I am uploading my report and all the detailed information that I collected now." Any further details than Bruce would have to look through the file, at least all this information would keep him busy for a while.
Tim had stopped trying to impress Bruce a long time ago and not even a thank you after going through all that trouble was normal for them. Apologies and congratulations for non-existent in their partnership and Tim didn't exactly mind because that was what he expected. To never bite the hand that feeds and to never expect more from that hand. Everyone had a different relationship with Bruce and that was Tim's. Working himself to death was just a part of the job, that was pretty much what he signed up for and all that was expected of him.
Tim left the cave and went about his day. He had to go to work since he had been out for so long and take care of the issues that arise in the company. Once it was over it was almost night time and he went home as Abigail to a dimly lit room with a baby in the middle. Somehow this was going to be with his life and something about it just made him angry, perhaps the feeling of being taken advantage of. All he could do now was hum a melody that should have long died with its owner and watch over an infant that was somehow his.
And that's how his life was for the two weeks, he was left alone with her. He made sure she was fed and changed but he barely went to go see her, Jason did complain about a week in but Roy cut him off. His redhead partner was more than happy to take care of her while Tim was busy but when week two came around he was starting to say the same thing that Jason had been telling him from the beginning. Tim took it upon himself to take Courtney but it was the best timing because his oldest brother had finally returned. He wasn't going to give him a chance to talk to Jason so Tim calls Dick from his spare phone and sends him the address.
Explaining this situation and circumstances to Dick was relatively easy but trying to get him to take Courtney with him was a little more difficult. At first it was skeptical seeing as if he was to leave with her, someone would see and if it definitely would get to Bruce somehow. But Tim made the proposition that he would just drop her off at his place whenever he was free. Dick was more than happy with that arrangement, and he was more distracted by the baby but Tim never actually said how Courtney would get home.
The baby supplies that Jason had stashed away and the apartment had finally come to use and he gave it off to Dick. He wasn't sure if Dick even realized that he was most slowly but surely moving those things into his apartment. And Tim had locked himself away even with an empty apartment. Leave the incubator in the room but all Tim saw was a hospital room. It was definitely not the way a child should live but it wasn't like she was going to stay with him anyway.
A silent night and a bird had returned to his nest, Tim could continue working on his cases and not worry about a thing. He could continue to live the life that he already had even if he was missing the one person that made it special. Kon would be happy that she was being loved, surely he would be. There was nothing to worry about because she was being loved and in a home that she deserved. Then nothing to worry about had come to his door, as he worked away on his laptop. Dick was standing in the door frame.
"Tim." Dick spoke with a slightly raised tone, Tim hummed in response. "You don't seriously think I would have figured it out by now right?" Tim didn't bother looking up from his laptop but he could tell that Dick was definitely unimpressed. It wasn't like he was trying to hide it. Tim was expecting Dick to figure it out eventually.
"As long as it's being taken care of. I don't think it particularly matters." As soon as Tim finished stating that there was a click of teeth across the room. Dick was annoyed.
"Tim, she's your daughter. I know it's through unfortunate circumstances but still." Tim tried tuning Dick out, why does everyone have so much confidence that he should be a dad? He literally gave her off to the better parents and they still think that he should be taking care of her.
"Dick-"
"Don't think I didn't talk to Jason. He told me but he asked him. We can't be her stand in parents, Tim she needs you. She may be missing one parent but she does have another, you. Her actual dad, needs to be present in her life, I know that you understand that feeling of being left alone." Dick took it too far, Tim slammed his laptop shut and threw it aside.
"Don't you think I take that into consideration? I am unfit to be a parent. I keep trying to give her away to people I know can take care of her but for some reason if you can see that?! She's loved by everyone else, what else do you want from me?" Tim choked out and he hadn't realized that he hadn't used his voice in the last couple of days.
It wasn't fair that Tim was constantly being put on a pedestal for expectations. He doesn't get to be happy, he's the backbone that gets to use constantly and every bit of happiness that he had was ripped away from him. Tim doesn't want a daughter, he wants his lover back. A child that shouldn't exist wasn't about to fill that void of silence that existed there. She deserved better than his selfishness.
Even through the silence for some reason she was just there, and like that the silence was broken. The room that was essentially just white noise picked up the sound of a baby crying. He woke up the baby with his response and she was crying. Simply looking at her and could feel himself break a little, eyes that were the color of the sky on a clear day. Tears spilled out almost like the morning dew from her small size, she cried and was fussing around and the baby carrier Dick had brought her in.
Even with the older brother trying to calm her down she wouldn't, she was fussing around and sobbing harder. This was his fault, Tim's fault. Red, you should do something. At a time like this all his mind could think of is Connor as his voice echoed instructions telling him to do something. They would have been terrible parents, Tim could only think of Connor freaking out while holding the baby wrong. He would most likely start crying alongside the baby.
It wasn't fair, she didn't ask to be born and Tim didn't ask to have her but there was something that Tim had. Even if it was rooted and someone else he still had a deep love for, one love could never be fixed or returned to him. He could feel the salt in his mouth as the tears ran down his face but he couldn't look away from the sky blue eyes that looked back at him. She was crying and deserved so much better.
He never realized how much energy it took to be a parent but he was going to have to learn. Tim pulled Dick's hands away from the carrier to pick her up. With some slide adjustments to carrying her properly she was cradled in his arms and he started humming. A sweet melody that had no lyrics, somehow he had forgotten there were never lyrics to begin with. The song that only two people ever knew of, a song about the Stars and the people born from it.
A lullaby of love, it was no longer romantic but familial because every single time Tim would hum it she just knew. Almost an instant and she was quiet, as if she was in a trance she giggled while reaching out towards him. Such a small hand that wrapped itself around his index finger as he bounced her lightly. They never asked for this life but it was one that they had and one that Tim would have to live through. It was going to be difficult but he was confident in a way.
"Hello, Courtney. Courtney Drake."