Chapter Text
That day was particularly difficult for Kris, as well as for the soul.
Of course, they both had a good time, just one more than the other. Kris played the piano twice, had his moment of freedom while solving a puzzle, and, of course, experienced the moment when the soul was locked up and he was able to drink hot chocolate and play the piano. Not to mention the moments with Susie in the world of light: They went to church together, played with stickers, drank juice, and "fed" Susie after leaving Noelle's house. There were also some funny moments with Ralsei, like when Kris told him to "pack his butt," and the prince obeyed with a comically sad expression. Kris almost felt grateful to the soul when it gave the order to say that or when it praised Alvin's sermon. However, he took points away from that little parasite inside his body because he didn't throw Alphys' juice. It made hitting him with the hockey stick even more satisfying.
Despite those moments, it was a hard day for Kris. Hearing Noelle talk about him as just a neighbor, seeing Ralsei in pain and acting strangely throughout the adventure, seeing him cry, and finding out that Gerson had been dead all along were difficult for Kris. On top of that, he felt guilty knowing that he was doing what he could to fulfill the prophecy. It was the prophecy that Susie wanted to avoid and that made Ralsei look bad. Kris was simply doing his best to make it happen. Sure, he had a good reason—to get Dess back—but it was still hard.
Of course, he wasn't the only one who suffered that day. He didn't bear the weight of guilt, but he felt an inner rage at not knowing why Kris was on the knight's side. He had to endure a few blows and the same things Kris did: Ralsei crying, the fight with the Titan, and finding out that Gerson was dead.
This seemed to affect him quite a bit because when he left the church and went to his grave, he stood there staring at it in the rain for a minute with Susie by his side. Neither of them said anything. Kris could feel his pain and sadness, as well as a strange feeling of nostalgia, as he looked at the grave. Most of those feelings were shared with the soul.
After going to the lake with Susie, talking a little, and refusing to say what the soul wanted him to, they both wanted to rest. They had another sleepover and got ready to go to the festival the next day.
On the way to Kris's house, however, he sensed resistance from the soul: discomfort, pain, and fear. He didn't understand why, but the soul wasn't walking somewhere else. Still, Kris noticed that feeling of resignation.
The walk was short. When they arrived at the house, they were ready to go inside for a moment to use the bathroom and take a break. But the only thing missing that day to make everything worse happened.
Toriel was drunk, dancing and laughing with the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper and his mother spoke to him, but Kris didn't listen much. He was dazed and just watched as how Susie left the house, uncomfortable and annoyed.
He had reached his limit and wanted to go to bed. Since Susie wouldn't be sleeping there, at least she could lock the soul in the cage and sleep peacefully. She just had to go upstairs. But she didn't. The soul walked to the bathroom door. Kris was tired of putting up with the soul snooping around his house and checking the things it always checked when she woke up or returned from his adventures. He decided to take control for a moment and forced the soul not to check whatever it wanted to check in the bathroom. He ignored the feeling of exhaustion and pain he shared with the soul and didn't realize that he hadn't checked everything in the room before.
But he couldn't take control at that moment—or rather, he couldn't do so without a struggle. It was strange. It was the first time the soul had stopped one of Kris's movements. He turned toward the stairs, but he couldn't climb them. He felt as if he had to fight for control of his legs. This made him equally angry and scared. Why did he want to go to the bathroom? Why did he have more control over his body than before? But what scared him the most was a murmur that came out of his mouth—a word that had never been spoken before. It paralyzed him. In that moment, the soul opened the bathroom door, went inside, closed it, and walked toward the window.
What was it doing? It didn't check the sink or the bathtub. It didn't even check the window. It just stared at the wall for a few moments, then fell to its knees and muttered something else incomprehensible.
Why could it do that? The soul wasn't supposed to talk. The soul had more superficial control over its body. It could walk, yes, but it could never do complex things like talk. It could barely hear the sounds coming out of its mouth because the music was so loud.
Would he lose even more control? No. Reacting after that moment, and wanting to remove that thing from his body, Kris brought a hand to his chest, ready to remove that parasite before it controlled anything else, but one of his hands prevented him. Terrified, he watched his hand try to control his arm. He was horrified to hear words come out of his mouth that he hadn't allowed, words that he hadn't thought about before speaking, as was usual.
He hunched over and stared at the floor, gathering strength to pierce his chest and remove the thing. But the hand squeezed him with more force than his exhausted body could muster, squeezing so hard that it hurt.
He was agitated and confused. The "feelings" (he refused to call the sensations his soul had "feelings") were confusing. He felt tired, upset, and sad. What was wrong with that thing? What else would it take? Would it completely subdue Kris and steal his life? Would he never be himself again?
The thing kept using his mouth to murmur things. At that moment, he wanted to scream or say something to regain control. But his tongue was tied as if his body didn't know which command to obey: that of its real owner or the parasite that had entered his life and taken control.
“Obey me!” Kris thought, terrified, as he tried to control other parts of his body, his legs, to get up and run, or jump out the window, or something. But he couldn't do that either. He felt pain when he tried to move, and the soul took control of one of his legs, causing him to fall further to the ground.
Things quickly spiraled out of control. Every movement Kris made was accompanied by a struggle from the soul. They quickly ended up fighting each other on the floor while their tongues were tied, preventing them from speaking, screaming, or doing anything.
They were both distressed, scared, and furious. Kris was crying without realizing it. It got to the point where they were sharing so many feelings that, in fear of losing control of his body, Kris thought:
"Is it going to control what I feel too?!" To him, there was no way the soul could be scared or sad. He didn't understand why, but he couldn't believe that this entity forcing him to act so differently actually had emotions. It was as if it were a human or a monster.
They continued fighting for a while longer, rolling around on the bathroom floor. Loud noises came out of Kris's body uncontrollably. He repeatedly crashed into the bathtub, the door, the wall, and the sink. Kris was hurt, but luckily, he did not hit his head.
Thankfully, the music was so loud at that moment because Kris wouldn't have known how to explain what was happening to Toriel if he had seen him like that. Well, he wasn't even sure if that thing would let him try.
After several minutes of struggling, during which Kris had stopped trying to speak to focus his strength on removing his soul, a word finally came out of his mouth—a word spoken by his soul.
"No..." Kris froze. He could speak now. Something he had never been able to do before, but now he could. It was only a matter of time before he could control his entire body and every little action. he couldn't live the little life he had left.. He wouldn't be able to save Dess. He wouldn't be able to talk to Asriel, Susie, or Ralsei. He wouldn't be able to have any personal moments ever again. That little “no” took away all his hope and scared him even more. That little ‘no’ made him stop fighting for a moment as he took in everything that one simple word meant... The soul took advantage of that. "N-no... No, ca..." It was difficult for him to speak. Of course, it was strange for the soul to have such precise control, especially since it involved consciously stimulating and controlling Kris's vocal cords and tongue one by one. It was difficult, even more so since he was fighting Kris himself at that moment. Now that the boy was still, however, he could speak more naturally and was getting used to his task. Ca-... Cage...
"A-are you te-telling me not to fight? That I'm y-your cage?" Kris's mind was a mess as he tried to understand what this thing controlling his body was saying.
"Don't... don't put me... in the cage... ple-please... please..." Speaking was a constant effort. Each new letter was something he had to remember in order to say what he wanted. But it was easier without having to stop his own arm from grabbing and throwing him. "Please, d-don't put me i-in the cage."
"What?" Kris was even more confused by what his body had said. For a moment, he forgot the nausea he felt when he heard his body speak without his permission.
"Ta-talk... Talk... Le-let's talk. Something... Communication...” Those words and loose concepts brought a strange sensation to Kris's body—a mixture of peace and fear—as he grew accustomed to speaking so quickly. "I-I beg you, K-Kris..."
Hearing his name come out of his mouth in such a natural way gave him a chill. It gave him a chill because it no longer sounded like the soul was telling Kris what to say. That projected voice was gone. Now, it was as if he were really speaking. Even worse, he was speaking in such a pitiful and pleading tone that it made Kris dizzy.
"What... Do you want us to talk?" the teenager asked, not quite understanding what was going on. The only answer he got was silence. Was that thing trying to annoy him? First asking him to talk and then ignoring him? In a way, he felt it was karma for all the mean jokes he had made about Noelle when they were kids.
"Ta-talk... Something... I don't want the cage." Was he pretending not to hear him? It didn't seem to be mocking him. "I k-know you d-don't... Talk a lot, but... Do it. Something, a-anything..." Kris stood there, wondering what the hell was going on. Had the soul not heard him? He said something again in the brief moment the soul gave him to speak, but nothing happened. It was as if he couldn't hear him again. He felt the soul becoming more fearful and nervous, as if she were becoming more desperate with each passing second.
"Can't you hear me?" he asked, speaking louder as if the deafening music had prevented the soul from hearing him the first time. Again, nothing happened. That moment was somewhat reassuring for him. "That's why this thing never paid attention to me. It wasn't ignoring me; it just couldn't hear me." Realizing this made him smile. A little. It was enough for him to relax more and for his nausea to subside slightly.
As the soul grew increasingly desperate at the lack of response, Kris tried to get comfortable, to stop lying on the floor with his face against the ground, but the soul prevented him, though not as violently as before, when it began to restrain Kris's movements so he couldn't escape. The movement stopped, but when it noticed how Kris quickly stopped that attempt to escape... It thought that perhaps he was about to cooperate, or at least it wouldn't try to drag him away and lock him in the bathroom like the previous afternoon.
"I—if... You're not going to... Talk... Just... I-I don't know... Let's communicate somehow...” By that point, the soul could speak more fluently, as if it had grown accustomed to it. This sent another chill through Kris's body. He was scared again because he was getting used to it so quickly. "Do you want to sit do-down? If so, knock on the floor. With your right hand.” Kris stood still for a moment, then raised his right hand and punched the floor. He felt the thing rejoice at that. "O-okay... D-don't kick me out of your body...." This time, Kris remained silent, resting his right hand on the floor. He pushed himself up to sit and leaned his body against the wall. He was calmer now, but that calmness brought great pain and exhaustion to his body. Fighting himself was more painful than he thought, especially when he hit things in the room while rolling around on the floor. This pain... It seemed that thing wasn't able to feel it.
Now calmer and having stopped crying, he wondered how he was going to talk to that thing if it couldn't hear him. Banging on the floor was a temporary solution, but it wouldn't enable him to express everything he wanted to.
“S-so... you won't talk?” Kris didn't answer. It was useless. Instead, he kept thinking about how to communicate with it. After a few moments, he realized the obvious solution. Of course, it couldn't hear him, but it could see what he could see. He reached for his pants, but... Once again, the hand controlling the creature grabbed his, preventing him from moving. “D-don't take me out... L-let's keep communicating, p-please...” Kris clicked his tongue in annoyance.
“I'm not going to take you out, you idiot...” he insulted him, wishing he could hear him, but of course that wasn't possible. "How do I tell him?" Kris was annoyed. He wanted to grab the phone and wipe his face. He was crying a lot, so he put his face on the floor. It was dirty, and it felt uncomfortable, but he couldn't wipe himself because that thing would stop him, thinking he wanted to kick him out. After a few seconds, he slowly opened and closed his hands.
“So... you're not going to take me out? ... C-close your fist if that's the case.” Kris closed his fist. “I-I understand... I-I trust you... Don't take me out yet...” Kris remained motionless for another moment. Did that mean he would be able to take him out later? At least from the way he spoke and the feelings he conveyed to his... Mind? Body? The way he was able to feel the emotions of the soul was strange, he never quite understood it, but from the way he felt, it didn't seem like he was lying, or that he wanted to take complete control of his body.
Kris reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his phone. He could almost feel his soul say, “Oh...,” although, of course, it didn't say it. Maybe it wasn't accustomed enough to controlling its vocal cords to say it yet. After taking the phone out, he noticed a small crack in the screen that hadn't been there before. It was the result of his fight. After growling about it, he searched through his apps for the Notes app, which he should have had somewhere. He found it after a few seconds of searching. When he finally opened the app, he stared at the screen.
He had tried talking to it before, in the early days, but couldn't. At that time, all he said were requests for it not to do such a thing, for it to say something to him, or after a few moments, simply insults. Now that he knew this thing was trying to communicate with him and seemed accessible, he realized he didn't know where to start. He considered starting by saying he wanted to wash his face but decided against it; it might think it was a lie and forbid it. Telling it to go to the bedroom wasn't a good idea either, that thing would think that as soon as it got there, he would lock it in the cage and beat it until he was tired, punishing it for what happened in the bathroom... To be fair, that's what he planned to do: throw it in the cage and beat it until his anger subsided. But that didn't seem like a good idea, either. If he did that, things might get more complicated, and he might control it even more in the future. That wasn't something he wanted at that moment.
He was overwhelmed by the choices, and the exhaustion and annoying background music made it harder for him to think clearly about his decision. So, he chose the simplest option.
"What do you want from me?" After finishing, he let the soul read it. He was annoyed to feel it rejoicing again at his cooperation.
"I want..." The soul didn't know exactly what it wanted, at least it didn't know where to start, whether to ask him not to lock it in the cage again, to ask him to talk, or to ask him why he was working with the knight... However, it did none of those things. At that moment, the soul said something that left Kris speechless... Well, with fewer words than usual for Kris. "I-i want t-to a-apologize. Although if you spoke, it would be easier... To communicate..."
Kris said nothing. He just stood there, stunned and confused after hearing those words. Not even upset, as he had once wondered what would happen if the soul spoke and said that to him. He felt the soul's emotions, and they were regret and guilt. He didn't understand why.After a few moments, Kris wrote.
"Apologize for what?" The soul remained silent, and Kris felt that mixture of guilt, sadness, and regret again.
"I a-apologize for c-controlling you, Kris. I'm sorry for taking your life, and I'm sorry for making you hate me so much...” Kris trembled with rage. Why was that thing apologizing as if it had emotions? As if it could feel guilt for stealing his life? That thing that made him change so much, that made him say things he didn't want to say and do things he wouldn't do, that made him talk so much to other people, and that made a version of him that people preferred to the real one... He squeezed his free hand, the one without the phone, and the soul did not avoid it. After a few moments, Kris wrote with his right hand.
“If you're sorry, get out of my body.” The soul read it, and Kris again felt the fear rising.
“N-no... Not now... Not if you're going to lock me in the cage." No sooner had he finished speaking than a growl of annoyance escaped Kris's lips... He was about to write again when the soul spoke. “B-but if... If we can talk a little... I-if you just told me what you think, I-I could make the decisions you want, t-try to make you feel... M-more like yourself...“ Kris stood still... That was... Too good to be true, that thing wouldn't really do that... Would it? ”S-so let's just talk, p-please, I know you can talk... Talk to me. I want to..."
Kris interrupted the soul by starting to write again.
"I already talked to you before. You didn't listen to me." A short and concise message... The soul saw that and remained silent, surprised... "I just talked to you, and you didn't listen to me either. I'm saying this as I write, and you're still not listening." It was true; as he wrote, he spoke, but the soul heard nothing. It was such a simple explanation for why he never listened to him. Yet, he never thought of it, and that bothered him almost as much as the situation they were going through. The soul said nothing, just remained silent.
"Are you... Are you serious? It's not one of those jokes you always make, is it?” Kris wrote, "Yes." The soul was as stunned by this revelation as Kris was... All this time, he had been able to... talk to Kris via text message. “I understand... I'm an idiot. We could have... talked before." Even with the situation as it was, Kris let out a "ha" and wrote,
"Yes, you're an idiot." At last, he could insult the soul and have it know that he was doing so... The soul said nothing; it could only feel his laughter and the brief moment of grace it had experienced.
“At least now we can talk... Although it's exhausting... Talking... I have to concentrate on everything...” Kris growled again... It was annoying that this thing complained about how difficult it was to control him. However, he was also glad that it was an effort for the soul. Maybe it could break free from his control again the next time it rebelled. “B-but it doesn't matter... I just wanted to apologize... Until... Two days ago, I didn't think... That you were so... No... I don't know... What to say...” Kris felt the thing's sorrow again.
“Didn't you think I was a person?” he wrote angrily, and from the nerves he felt in the soul, he assumed he was right.
“I-it's just that you didn't speak... W-well, I couldn't hear you... And you weren't getting in the way of my... Movements... It's just... It's complicated... This is weird for both of us. At one point... It was like... Look... I didn't want to take your life... B-but I wasn't given a choice... I... I lost mine, I appeared in a dark place and a voice spoke to me and told me to create a body, and to give it a personality and qualities and a name and... I did, but... That thing told me that... No one decided who is in this life. And I woke up in your body... I didn't know what was happening or what I was doing. I didn't know why a... Strange monster was talking to me, or why I didn't feel afraid and it seemed familiar... It was as confusing for me as it was for you..." Kris felt a pang of annoyance when that thing called his mother strange. "But I didn't know that... That you were someone... And... The whole adventure happened in the dark world... And... Well... I thought it would be my new life, but... Night came and you took me out, you locked me in..." the soul had to remain silent just thinking about that annoying cage, and Kris... He felt a mixture of enormous satisfaction at feeling his fear, and a little bit of guilt. "The cage... And you let out that... smile... I thought you were going to do something bad...“ Kris laughed internally when he heard that. When the soul wasn't in his body, he couldn't feel what it felt, but knowing that he had scared it made him laugh. It was exactly what he wanted to do. "I mean... You ate a whole pie. It wasn't bad, but... You scared me..." the pie... Kris remembered how delicious that pie was, after a whole day without eating or drinking... Without anything, he was able to feast freely... Well... Thinking about it... Because the soul didn't seem to show any fatigue when it spoke, as if it were incapable of feeling it, and the fact that it didn't seem to connect the dots with the cake... He realized that the soul didn't realize for a moment that it was dying of thirst and hunger.
"I didn't eat anything that day. Food from the Dark World doesn't fill me up." Kris could almost hear the soul's thoughts: "Oh... Shit..." That connection he had with the soul was annoying, and the worst part was that it seemed to be one-sided. "I was starving and thirsty, you idiot." Again, the soul remained silent. For some reason, Kris felt its sadness increase.
"That makes sense. I'm sorry. I... I can't really feel what's going on inside your body. I didn't know... You know... Until today, I was still a little afraid of you. I-I mean, after the pie scare, I still believed that... You were evil or something... I mean, you opened a dark fountain in the living room. But when you took me to Noelle's house... I traveled through the ventilation ducts and saw you in the kitchen. You were on the phone with... Uh... L-let's talk about those calls later... And your connection with the knight and... Those things..."
Kris said nothing. It would be annoying to have the soul more involved in that. Now that they knew they could talk, it would be worse. "But... I saw you and... As soon as you freed yourself from me, I saw you drinking chocolate milk and... Then you played the piano... I realized that... The little time you had without me, you used to do the things you liked... And I felt sad, Kris..." The teenager felt uncomfortable with that conversation and with the emotions the soul was transmitting to him. Genuine emotions: pain, sadness, and regret. If things continued like this, he feared he wouldn't be able to feel the same way about the soul, that he wouldn't be able to feel as much hatred for that thing, which was what was happening at that moment. "I realized what I had really done... What I had stolen from you, and I wanted to ask for your forgiveness..." Kris didn't know why, but he started crying again at that moment. The moment was hard enough, but feeling that thing's sincerity as it apologized for stealing his life affected him more than he thought it would. At least he was sure it didn't notice him crying, which made him feel a little less ashamed for showing such weakness to the soul. For a moment, he thought about writing, "Don't expect me to forgive you." But he didn't. Not because he had forgiven it—he didn't plan to—but because a part of him didn't want to close that door. He didn't understand what was happening, but he waited for the soul to continue its monologue. It didn't, though. They just stood there in silence, listening to the annoying background music. The music... Kris had managed to ignore what was happening in the room, but the silence made him hear Sans telling his mother a joke. This took him out of the situation he was experiencing with the soul.
"Let's go to my room." Once again, he felt fear in the soul, and now it didn't seem as satisfying as it had a moment ago. Was he beginning to feel sympathy for that thing? The mere thought bothered him greatly. "I won't put you in the cage, but I want you out of my body." He felt relief in the soul when he heard that. Still, he didn't get up right away. There was something comfortable about the floor, mostly because sitting there rested his muscles. His body still hurt a lot, and he just wanted to lie down on his bed for a while and get some rest. But with the music and the voices of his mother and the skeleton, that would be difficult.
"Well... I know it's not the right time, but... Would you like to talk some more? I want to clarify a few things before the festival." Kris said nothing.The festival was tomorrow, and tomorrow there would be another adventure in the dark world. He hoped it wouldn't be as exhausting as that day had been. Maybe he could even spend the day with his brother after so long, without the soul getting in the way... That calmed him down a little more and made him feel happy amid all the anguish he was experiencing. Kris got up and typed on his phone.
"I'm going to wash my face." he said, putting his phone away. The soul said nothing this time, simply walking toward the sink when it saw that Kris remained still. After all, controlling his body while the soul was inside took effort for the teenager, and he didn't have much strength at that moment.
After washing his face, Kris glanced at the bathtub. He wanted to relax his muscles by taking a bath, but the timing was far from ideal. Still, he hadn't bathed in three days and was annoyed. His whole body itched, he felt dirty, and he was sure he smelled awful. Ignoring this thought, he adjusted his bangs to cover his eyes as usual. Then, he left the room and went upstairs. The sounds of the music were drowning out even more without the slightest barrier the bathroom door provided.
After entering his room, he stood still. He felt an overwhelming urge to remove the soul, throw himself on the bed, and sleep. But he couldn't do that at that moment. He looked at the cage, feeling a chill in the soul again, and then looked at his bed, approached it, and after a second felt the soul's command to lie down. Of course, even to relax, it was the soul that had to give the order... He was still upset about it. Couldn't they make it simpler? He decided to ask.
"Can't you give me freedom while you're in my body? At least the freedom to move on my own?" He felt the pain in the soul. There was the answer.
"If I could, I would... But... It won't let me. Uh... When I'm about to do something, it's like... A menu of options appears. And uh, usually... There are usually two or three options, and I can't decide what to do except from among those options. And... I thought you gave me the options. It's like... If I could do what you think I should and choose from the possibilities. Although... Sometimes there are weird options that make me hesitate... I mean... I don't think you thought about telling Ralsei to keep smiling." Kris felt a chill... When the soul was given a choice, he could sense it. It was as if a voice said it out loud, and then he felt the soul's command. When he heard that option, he got pretty upset with that thing. But what if he really didn't decide what to say? How did it work? Before he could say anything else, Sans's joke could be heard again. It annoyed Kris. it brought back a memory.
"When I met..." Kris wondered how to refer to that idiot, whether by name, with an insult, or something else... "That idiot," he decided. Insulting the idiot in his room was the best option. "You forced me to say I knew him. Why?" His soul felt a chill just remembering it... "And when you saw him, you felt nostalgic."
"I... I don't know, yes?" Kris was getting used to it, but it felt strange to talk without thinking about it and to hear his voice sound so natural, confused, and sad. As if it weren't him. Well, it wasn't him, but... It felt wrong. "The option appeared, and I felt like I knew him, that I hadn't seen him in a long time, and that he was like a good friend or... It happened to me with other people, too. With your mom... With Undyne and Alphys, too. It even happened a little with your dad, but... Not with others, I don't really understand why... This is as strange to me as it is to you. And I'm limited in my options... I think... Now that..." the soul fell silent, as if it had said something it shouldn't have... "Kris... Now... I can speak for myself. I'm not saying I'm going to do it without your... permission, but... It's good, isn't it?" Kris strongly disagreed, as evidenced by his response.
“Are you going to make more decisions?” He felt betrayed, and a little scared again. Did the soul realize that now that he had total control, he didn't need Kris's permission to do or say anything? That was... Horrible. One of the few things Kris had going for him in their relationship was the how. Kris couldn't decide what to do, and if he was told to say something, he had to obey, but in his own way. If the soul took that away from him...
“N-no, it's not that. Seriously. It's true that I'll try to do what you want, I-I won't take away any more of your freedom, I swear... But I mean... It's good, isn't it? If there's a dialogue option that we both dislike, we can find another way to handle it, right?" Kris fell silent again. “B-but if you want me to just say what the options tell me to say, I'll do it. Seriously.I want to give you more freedom...”
"Okay."
"Okay... What?" Kris smiled a little and didn't write anything. "Did you hear me?" Kris remained silent again. "Are you just being mysterious?" Kris had to stifle a laugh. Yes, now that he could communicate with the soul, he could choose not to and tease him some more. That was good. "You're an idiot..." That little action amused the soul, and he felt that Kris was finally relaxing just a little, which relaxed him a little too. “If I do something you don't like, don't blame me... But... Well, we need to establish a way to communicate, Kris, one that doesn't involve using the phone, or me talking, or... It's complicated to think about... Maybe with movements? Like closing or opening your hand? Or with your gaze? I see what you see most of the time, except when you close your eyes, and then I go somewhere else. So, if you look at your hand, you can give me simple instructions, right?"
"That might work for now." The soul was glad they agreed.
"Well... Now that we've settled that... Could you please not be so violent with me? It hurts when you put me in the cage, or when you hit me with a hockey stick at Noelle's house... Or when you threw that bottle at me... Idiot.” Kris could have laughed, but he didn't. The soul felt pain. It was something he wasn't sure about. Knowing this created that same dilemma again: the guilt he felt for empathizing with that thing versus the resentment he still held toward it.
"If you keep meddling in things that don't concern you, I will." Kris felt the soul's discomfort and anger at those words.
“I was trying to save your world... Why are you working with the knight anyway? That idiot kidnapped Undyne, the knight going to kill her, he wants the roar to happen, and you're on his side... Why?" The annoyance in the soul's voice was noticeable this time. It matched how Kris felt at that moment.
"Don't get involved. I have my reasons. If we're done talking, I'll get you out of my body."
"At least... Tell me you don't want to kill them, or that there's another reason. I heard your call with... The knight? Is the knight Carol?" Kris felt a chill when he realized that Carol was connected to everything that had happened. Of course, Carol wasn't the knight, but Kris still wanted to rip his soul out right then and there to make him stop talking about it. Even if it bothered him, he would put him in the cage... He might feel a little empathy now, but if he had to, he would do it to keep everything on track and fulfill his promise.
"Stop meddling. It's none of your business. Besides, Undyne will be fine." The soul became angry again at how cryptic the boy was. Not understanding what was going on was very frustrating.
"If it's not really bad, seriously, tell me. If it's not like the prophecy says and that idiot knight doesn't want to destroy the world, then tell me, and I won't get in the way." There was no answer, again, and the soul groaned, but said nothing... He knew how stubborn teenagers could be, especially someone like Kris. It was obvious that... He was a peculiar, closed-off boy, and she didn't think he would talk to the intruder who had taken control of his body about his secrets and motivations, but even so, it was so frustrating that he could scream... Well, technically, he could scream now, using Kris's body... "AH!" Kris was alarmed, quickly typing on his phone to be quiet. "Mimimi, be quiet, mimimi." Kris... Well... He didn't know how to respond to the mockery or how the soul could suddenly be so... childish. It wasn't what he expected to happen at that moment, especially since he was being so careful not to upset him at that moment... Although on second thought, he had already insulted him... He stopped being careful with his words because... Was he becoming more confident with Kris? How stupid.
"How old are you? Two years?" It was silly to continue fighting, but the shouting annoyed him. He could have gotten his mother's attention, and she didn't want to see her again that night.
“For your information, Kris, I'm 23... In my world..." The soul fell silent, as did Kris.There it was again, empathy and a lot of curiosity that he didn't know if he wanted to respond to, but the sadness he felt in his soul at that moment made it difficult not to ask... After all, he wasn't a bad guy. And yes, he hated (now a little less) the soul, but knowing that he had another life... made things a little difficult for him. Until that moment, he didn't consider him human, he didn't even consider him a person, but knowing that he did indeed have a life before him, and that he may have been a person... gave him mixed emotions.
"You're old." The soul laughed.
"Sure, I'm a few years away from being as old as Gerson, heh..." Kris didn't write anything. He didn't find the joke funny. Well, just a little. Still, the soul's sadness was annoying to feel. Curiosity got the better of him at that moment: curiosity to know who the soul was before and if the human soul was... Well, human.
"What was your world like?" Were you human, too?—That last part took longer to write, hesitating... The soul read that and felt a tightness in... In its being, it supposed, the sensations being a small floating heart were hard to define, but there they were.
"Kris, I'm still human." If he could have, Kris would have cringed at those words. Hearing that phrase come out of his mouth... Sincere and sad at the same time, it was chilling. “Like I told you, I lost my life... The moment is blurry, okay? I don't want to talk about it too much, but... Basically, I got hit by a car, I think... Hehe... The car sent me to an isekai.” The soul allowed itself to laugh a little. Kris felt annoyance and disbelief... His soul was a geek; no wonder he seemed so excited when he was with Berdly. He even hesitated when given the option to go to the festival with him... And that's why he read the board where Alphys wrote her opinions about that silly anime whenever he could and was disappointed when her opinion hadn't changed... Still, he had to acknowledge the soul's ability to make humor out of its own death. If it hadn't been an anime joke, it probably would have made him laugh a little. "But... Yes, I'm human, and... In my world, monsters don't exist. Only humans and... That's it." Kris was confused. Very confused. A world of only humans? It didn't make much sense to him... It would be boring. He couldn't imagine always greeting and seeing only humans, nor did he want to. "But, in general, it's the same. More boring, yes. At first, it scared me a little, but... I think monsters are fun. Although the issue with pets would be complicated. I think... Never mind.
Kris could feel the discomfort in his soul, as well as the nostalgia and sadness that filled him at that moment... And he understood, a little. What he didn't want to happen had happened, and he felt empathy for that... Person. It didn't erase the resentment he felt towards him, not entirely. But knowing that he was a person too, and that he had died, surprised him and made him feel bad for him. Knowing that he didn't want to control or harm him was also something that affected him and made him unable to hate him as much as he wanted to.
Neither of them spoke for a moment; the noise of the music filled his thoughts again.
"I'm in an isekai." And again with that... If he kept this up, Kris would stop being so empathetic. "I mean, I'm in a different world full of monsters. I have a system of levels... And dialogue options... There are secret bosses, I can choose items with different stats... I can even turn back time when I die.” Kris froze when he heard that...
"What" He didn't even write the question marks because he was so surprised by what he said.
"Uh? When we fight someone... And we lose... They kill us, and we go back in time to... To the save points." Kris froze again...
"How many times" The soul felt like he had said something he shouldn't have... Well, he didn't regret it either. He wanted to be honest with Kris so that he would trust him. If he gained his trust and Kris opened up to him, he could better understand what was going on with Kris, the knight and all of those things.
"I don't know. I mean... I died a couple of times in the first dark world against some ruddins... Four times, until I got used to dodging, a couple of times with the draught dog... And a couple more times. I was counting how many times I died, but... With Jevil, I stopped counting." Kris shuddered at the thought. Had he died? Had that thing let him die, and had he not even kept count? “Don’t think I don’t care, Kris. Or that it doesn't hurt me. When they kill me, it hurts, okay? I feel like my whole being is torn in two, it's a horrible pain. Every blow they strike shakes me, some more than others. But when I die, it's as if... A pain I can't explain runs through me over and over again.
"Why.
"Why... Don't I count?"
"Why you kept fighting even though it hurt. why you kept fighting even though we were dying." Kris felt a chill run through the soul, which only annoyed him more.
"Because... Well, I had no choice but to keep going, and... I kept fighting Jevil, Spamton, everyone... Until I beat them... No matter how much it costs... I feel that if I beat those guys who are so... Hard to find, then I'll be able to go back to my world or... At least get my own body. I didn't think you wouldn't remember the deaths. I'm sorry.
Kris didn't write anything. He was so annoyed with the soul, but at the same time, he wasn't. I mean, that thing was trying to get its own body, to stop invading his, and that was good, but even so, it meant that they died, a lot, so many times that he even stopped counting.
“If... if it makes you feel... more comfortable, I can tell you the next time I die, keep count or something. So you won't think I don't care." Kris clenched his teeth. Why would that make him feel better? "But... I've gotten a lot better lately, too. Jevil took dozens of tries. But Spamtom only took me... Uh, I think twenty... With Eram, it was about ten... A-and... Uh... W-with the water cooler... Twenty again.. B-but Gerson never killed us... I mean... He... Doesn´t want... B-but he helped me improve, and I only lost three or four times with the Titan." Kris and I felt a chill just thinking about the Titan. The knight definitely went too far with the Titan summoning. Kris was scared to see it and have to face that thing. He felt like he was going to die. And he did die. He didn't even know it. But it scared him. If that thing wanted to hurt someone, it could. Then it could kill itself, and when it revived, it wouldn't remember anything.
"Tell me. If you die again, tell me." Kris wrote after thinking about it, and the soul said yes. Again they fell silent, Kris put down the phone and stared at the ceiling, stunned by the new information he had, again a little dizzy.
"Okay... But... Hey, at least it's something else we have in common, we both die and we're both human... My parents got divorced too...” Kris hit his chest, wanting to hurt the soul. "Ouch. Okay, okay, sorry. Black humor helps me deal with difficult situations, okay?" ..." The blow hurt a little. He didn't know if Kris had used too much force or if Kris's armor made some blows less painful in their fights.
They fell silent again. Kris began to feel heavy-eyed, but even so, after calming down a little, even with the huge revelation he had just had... He wanted to keep talking to the soul a little longer... Out of curiosity... To get to know another human, and because, finally, after so long, he could say the things he really thought, even if it was to the invader of his body, it gave him a certain feeling of freedom that he wanted to maintain... Besides, he couldn't fall asleep; the noise downstairs kept him awake.
"I guess being in an 'isekai' is a dream for you, weird otaku," he wrote, intending to annoy him. But it didn't work. After finishing reading the soul, he replied sincerely.
"Kris, I died and woke up in a different world. I lost my whole life, everything. All I have are memories, memories of my mother, my siblings, my life. Everything. I lost everything I had achieved in an accident. No, it's not a dream for me, Kris. Isn´t a dream die, isn´t a dream wake up in your body. —Kris... He put down the phone. Feeling the pain in the soul was upsetting for him, and feeling more empathy and pity for him was also upsetting... Maybe saying that wasn't a good idea. "And the worst part is that I don't even have all my memories. For some reason, I forgot my name, and not only mine, i forgot my mother and father name, I forgot my siblings name, so I don't even have that. I lost... Everything I had in my world... Damn it, the progress... I spent four years studying for a degree. I worked hard. There were nights I didn't sleep. I threw up from nerves before final exams. And when I had only two subjects left, I died. All that effort down the drain along with my corpse... Do you know the worst part of all this, Kris? Do you want to know?" Kris didn't answer. "Answer me, come on. Write something..."
Kris felt a little sorry for the soul. And his joke to talk a little more caused that... It would be difficult to address the soul now that he knew his jokes weren't a way to communicate... But, since the soul seemed so upset and was waiting for an answer, Kris decided to respond.
"What's the worst thing...?" He held the phone in the air, waiting for his response. He hoped he wouldn't yell.
“The worst thing... Tch, how could you even imagine? So many years have passed, I worked so hard, so many hours of studying, so many days wasted reading that idiot Pineu, that moron Focuolt, or that stupid Silvina Gvirtz... Ugh, and don't even get me started on those damn Russian formalists and their stupid artifices ... So many hours wasted doing homework, forcing myself to study, or convincing my lazy classmates to do their part at 4 a.m. the day before the deadline... And when I'm finally working in the field I studied for, I die... And I'm back to being a teenager going through puberty! I'm back in high school, and not in the way I wanted to be! I'm past that stage! I don't want to live it again through you!" Kris said nothing. Listening as, after saying that, the soul let out a little laugh... He was confused about what was going on with the soul. But it made him laugh a little, too. " Heh... Agh... Damn it...
“It could be worse, don't exaggerate.” The soul read that and laughed a little. Kris felt good about making it laugh, even though he didn't want to admit it.
"You're an idiot, Kris... At least I was able to get rid of him...” He said, and Kris felt his soul feel a little lighter... And a little more curious about his life. Now that he knew that the soul was, in fact, human, and that she had studied for a degree and all that weird stuff she said about working in groups, he felt a little more... connected? It wasn't exactly that, but it wasn't so unpleasant to talk to him. At least he seemed to understand his sense of humor a little and... return the joke with that last one.
"Do you still do group activities at the university?"
"Hah... Unfortunately... When I graduated from high school, I thought I would finally be free from that torture, but no... On top of that... You think that because they're older, they'd be more mature and take it seriously, but no... Believe me, they don't. And when I finished all my classes and only had a few final exams left, I was dying, and on the first day of my new life, they tell me I have to do another damn group project... God hates me..." Ah... That's why he felt so upset when they told him that... It made a little sense. Kris didn't like group projects either—another thing they had in common. "Hah, but at least the dark world appeared, and I was able to... We were able to become friends with Susie." Kris felt a little uncomfortable, Susie... When he thought about her, it was weird... He felt like she didn't really know him; she only knew his soul, not him. That when she found out everything that was going on, she would get mad at him and end their friendship. He didn't want that; he was afraid of being alone again. "Also, Ralsei... Heh. I hate adolescence. It's a time of tremendous drama, even in another world, and in another species. You're dealing with the whole prophecy thing, and... Susie's the same. On top of that, her... Past... Ralsei and his issue with believing he's not real... Now that I'm technically in the body of a teenager, I'm suffering too. Pff, you know. It sucks. What's left for us, right? With... All that knight stuff I don't feel like talking about.
"We won't talk about that," Kris replied quickly.
"That's what I said. Deaf.” Kris rolled his eyes... Yes, the soul was definitely becoming familiar with him. "But anyway... I guess... Now that we can communicate, it won't be so bad, right? We can... We can change things for the better for both of us..."
"I guess. I can use you to do my homework for the rest of my classes." The soul laughed at that... But Kris felt a certain discomfort that he didn't quite understand.
“I can help you... If you let me have moments of... Well, being myself, in case I don't get my body back... I'm not saying I'm going to steal your body, if you don't want me to, I understand, I'll respect your wishes, but... Sometimes I'd like to have a few moments to myself too... With... Control... Is that okay?" Kris didn't answer. He was unsure how to respond. And well... At that moment, he didn't feel afraid. A few minutes ago, he would have taken that request as a hidden threat, but now that he knew what the soul really was... He let his guard down a little and stopped fearing that possibility.
"The least I'd let you do is do my homework and Susie's for the rest of the year," he replied after a moment's thought. It was a little joke, but not really. If he was going to have to live with the soul—which he didn't want—at least he could use it to his advantage. Like he did in church when he made it help Susie against the old man's statue.
"Haha..." Once again, he seemed uncomfortable. Why? It was a good deal. Basically, he was giving him complete control of his body in exchange for doing some tasks that should be simple for him. "Education is important, Kris. You have to cultivate your brain more. Susie too. The brain is a muscle. If you don't use it, it atrophies." Kris rolled his eyes again.
"You sound like Ralsei." He laughed again.
"I'm a teacher, Kris. Education is important to me."
". . . Why did I have to be taken over by a teacher? Damn, now I'll have to put up with you talking about boring stuff all the time, won't I?
"Let's see... No... Maybe... I spent a lot of time studying these things, Kris. I have to talk about them. If I could have, I would have given Ralsei a full explanation based on different philosophers' theories about why he's real. I thought about it longer than I'd like to admit. That damn René Descartes won't get out of my head lately."
"Stop. I don't want to hear you talk about those things. I don't want to hear those things come out of my mouth." The soul laughed, and for some reason, Kris felt like he was making one of Burgerpants's unpleasant expressions. One of those expressions of despair.
"You're real because you think, Kris. That's the proof...” Kris covered his mouth, feeling the amusement in the soul as he spoke... It was strange that it didn't bother him. After a while, however, he fell silent and uncovered his mouth. "Well... Okay, no philosophy. No talking about educators or teaching techniques. No damn school curriculums. Or those damn Russian fundamentalist bastards... Stuff like that... In public... I think... Hey, I'll say something sometime, don't blame me, it was four tough years... But, hey... I can help you a lot with homework and stuff. If you're into my subject, of course... Never mind..."
"You finally shut up," he wrote, feeling the soul laugh again. By that point, he was almost completely calm. Well, he hated to admit it, but he stopped thinking a little about what happened that day and... In the last few days. Even the annoying noise from the party below his room faded into the background as he chatted with the soul.
"Hehe. Sure. So, Kris... Everything okay? Between us, you know... Do you still hate me?" Kris decided not to answer that question... He wasn't sure, he still felt some resentment towards the soul, but still, at that moment he didn't hate him... But he wouldn't say it, he wouldn't say that finding out he was human, what he had died of and that he was also suffering greatly affected the way he saw him. He didn't want to admit that he felt empathy for him, and that he liked his dark humor a little. So, even though the way he felt the pain in his soul bothered him, he chose not to answer. "It's okay. Too soon. Too fast. It's fine. At least I can... We can communicate more. That's good. And... About the knight... I won't talk about that. I won't ask you why you're really doing it, I don't think you want to destroy your world, you're not a bad guy. I'll stop asking about it, and I won't tell Susie or Ralsei what you're doing. But... I won't cooperate with you on that. I don't think it's the right thing to do. I think you're making a mistake." Kris growled again at that, clenching his fists. He didn't understand. “But it's not something we should suffer for the rest of our lives, don't you think? We can make this bearable for both of us..."
"If you get in my way, I'll hit you with a hockey stick again,"Kris threatened, feeling the soul shiver.
“No... Don't do it. It hurts. A lot... And if you do, I'll recite every boring thing I studied. I'll recite every boring thing I studied.”
"Then I'll hit you harder next time."
"And I'll make my explanations even longer. I studied literature, Kris. I can ruin your favorite TV shows by analyzing them from different points of view. We'll both suffer." Kris rolled his eyes. But he didn't say anything else.
"Are we done talking? I want to sleep."
"Mm... Yes, I think so. I'll float around the room, I guess. I won't snoop if it bothers you."
"It does. Why do you have to stop and look at everything? It's annoying. And don't make me talk to everyone in town again. That's annoying too."
"I'm just curious, okay? Besides, it's useful to explore. If it weren't for that, we wouldn't have fought with Gerson. Or... Eh, forget it. I'll try not to do it so much. But I'll keep hugging Ralsei whenever I can. He's so cute." Kris rolled his eyes.
"What's your obsession with hugs? You don't even feel them, do you?"
"It's... Personal... But it's impossible not to hug Ralsei. My little one needs care and protection...”
"You're only like... 7 years older than him... Don't act like he's a child.
"I can't help it. It's my paternal instinct, Kris. I'm a teacher for a reason... Well, I didn't graduate, but I did a lot of substitute teaching... Details."
"Whatever."
"Heh, tsundere." Kris hit him in the chest again, hurting his soul. "Even more tsundere." Kris hit him two more times, annoyed that in addition to being an old man and a teacher, the soul was an otaku... That must be why he didn't care about bathing or washing. He wasn't very concerned about his appearance either, but at least he bathed every other day.
"Haha. I finally got to talk to you, Kris. I guess... See you tomorrow? " Kris didn't answer. He took advantage of his hand's position and touched his chest. "And... Kris... Uh, I hope we can become friends." Kris stopped moving for a moment. Of course he wanted to be his friend. He wanted to be friends with everyone, so it made sense that he would want to be friends with him, too. He still didn't say anything, though, and put his hand on his chest. He was feeling quite a lot of pain at the moment. Not as much as before. Now that he was being careful, it didn't feel as painful.
He gently took the soul and removed it from his body. He sighed with satisfaction when he regained complete control. Feeling free again, he enjoyed moving his body effortlessly.
As he looked at the soul in his hand, which glowed calmly, he couldn't help but feel nervous again. It still controlled him, but... Now it was different. He felt a chill when he saw it, but he realized that much of his hatred had simply disappeared. That conversation had changed something. Though he didn't want to admit it, he no longer disliked the soul.
"Finally..." He noticed the soul glowing slightly when he spoke. "Can you hear me?" The soul glowed again, looking excited. "I understand. So..." Kris smiled, an evil smile, as he watched the soul's glow fade a little. "Good. I'm glad you'll listen to me." Kris got up from the bed, standing like a zombie because... it looked cool and he was tired. He walked slowly toward the open cage, feeling the soul trying to escape. He just laughed. "Because this cage..." He stopped a step away from the cage and pretended to put the soul back in it. "It's closed until further notice." And with a mocking look, he closed the cage, releasing the soul... It was a somewhat cruel joke, but Kris had wanted to play it ever since he discovered the soul's fear of the cage. The soul remained motionless as Kris went to his bed. It stared at him for a moment, then lunged at him as fast as it could. He thought that the soul didn't like the joke (true) and would try to take control (false), but he only felt the soul ram into his face, hurting him a little. Kris laughed a little as he watched this. Then he sat up in bed and watched the soul float.
He was still a bit worried. Who knew what that soul was capable of? Maybe it had tricked him. Kris knew that wasn't the case. Besides, he knew it was a guy. Well, at least judging by how it always acted. So, he decided to trust the soul a little.
"Maybe... I should give it a name." he thought, watching the heart float motionless in the air. "No, that's a stupid idea. I can't get attached to him."
When he lay down, he realized the music had finally stopped, which was good. He could sleep, and the next day was finally the festival. Asriel would return, and they could spend the day together as brothers.
The soul just looked annoyed as Kris covered himself and stared at him a little longer before closing his eyes.
"Idiot." he thought, watching the young man fall asleep. "But... At least things will get a little better... Heh. Maybe this world isn't so bad after all. Maybe I'll get my own body, and... I'll be able to live my own life." The soul's glow grew stronger. A desire mixed with a strange sense of determination for the future and for having his own body once and for all emerged.