Chapter Text
Spencer was sat in The Brew trying to read her battered copy of little women, for probably the twelfth time. A neglected cup of coffee was slowly going cold in front of her.
Usually she's enraptured by the March family in their cosy house. It had taken her years to realise, but the reason she liked the book so much was because their family was what she had wanted as a child. A warm, loving and supportive household was not something she was used to, so when she read Little Women it comforted her.
Instead of reading, she was staring out the window. Thinking about her train wreck of an end to her relationship with Caleb.
She had really liked him. Loved him even.
He hadn't. He might have said he did, might even have convinced himself, but he didn't. Deep down he still had feelings for her. He still loved Hanna.
She understood that. But it didn't mean it didn't hurt when he picked her over Spencer.
She couldn't stay long in the barn, too many memories. Or any of the girl's houses, too many questions.
So, she now spent a lot of time at The Brew, hiding from all her problems.
The bell on the door chimed and caught her attention, as a customer walked in.
It was Mona.
Spencer buried her head into her book. She didn't need Mona Vanderwaal noticing her or god forbid coming over and talking to her.
Sure Mona was useful to have around when dealing with -A, or the new incarnation AD. But apart from that, the only one who actually liked her was Hanna. Everyone else kind of tolerated her, she wasn't exactly the life of the party.
Spencer peered cautiously over her shoulder to check whether Mona was gone. She was still there. Stood at the counter collecting her drink and talking, or more likely flirting, with the barista.
Before Spencer could turn back to her book, Mona looked over at her. The corner of her red-lipped mouth quirked up into a smirk. She turned and gave a smile and a wink to the barista, who blushed and quickly rushed to get back to work.
Spencer had turned around and started reading about Meg's disastrous time at the ball, hoping Mona would take a hint and leave. To her dismay she could hear the elegant clicking of Mona's heels headed towards her.
'Hey Spencer, long time no see.' Mona had sat down next to her, placing her take away cup on the table and taking off her coat. She had a smirk on her face, like she knew something Spencer didn't.
'Hi Mona. I'm a bit busy reading right now so I don't think I'd be great-' She was trying desperately to get Mona to leave, when she was cut off.
'Little Women, good choice. Let me guess, you resonate most with Jo, but your favourite's actually Beth.' She then took out a hand mirror and started reapplying her lipstick.
Spencer was taken aback by her answer. It was spot on.
How did she know she identified the most with Jo, but actually favoured Beth? She had never discussed the book with anyone. Her own family didn't even know she owned this book, she had bought it at a second hand book sale years ago.
She snapped her head to face her. Well, if she was going to play ball, Spencer's tennis skills were going to come in handy.
'I bet you're favourite's Amy. She's vain and annoying, like you.' She sneered at her.
Mona merely pumped her lips smoothing out the deep red on her lips, then settling her mouth in what looked like a smile.
'I can't tell you how heartbroken I was when Beth died.'
Given the way Mona completely ignored Spencer's comment, it could mean one of two things. Either it was true, or she shared Spencer's opinions. It could possibly be the former, but it was more likely to be the latter.
As much as she was loathed to admit it, she and Mona were very similar. They were both insanely driven, perfectionists and as smart as they were pretty. The only difference between them, Spencer was taken in by Alison, while Mona was shunned.
'Beth doesn't die. She almost does then recovers, remember?'
She said matter of factly, eyebrows raised. If Mona knew so much about the characters, surely she should know the basic plot?
She couldn't believe she was having a normal conversation with Mona. Frankly she couldn't believe Mona had read Little Women. She just assumed Mona just sat at home scheming and thinking evil thoughts, like some sort of fairytale villain. She can't really imagine Mona doing normal things, like reading or going food shopping.
'Not in the first one.'
'First one?' She was genuinely intrigued, she didn't know there was more than one book.
'There's four; Little Women, Good Wives, Little Men and Jo's Boys.' She unfolded four fingers as she counted out the books. She had dark red nails, Spencer briefly wondered if her toes were the same.
'I can lend them to you if you want.'
Lend them to her? That was oddly nice. Spencer had been expecting her to tell her they were only found in Russia and had to be painstakingly translated into English or something. Or just to tell her to buy them herself.
Mona was now wearing her coat, evidently ready to leave. Spencer couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed she was leaving. She kind of wanted it to last longer, wanted the normalcy of casual chats in a coffee shop. She didn't even care if it was with Mona.
When was the last time she got to have a nice, normal conversation these days that wasn't about AD?
Mona had popped her empty coffee cup in the bin, and was now rummaging in her bag for something.
'Just give me a call and you can swing by my apartment and collect them.'
She placed down a business card and slid it towards Spencer. It looked smart but stylish. Spencer thought in mild shame of her own cards, she had dropped them soon after getting them and now they were all slightly bent.
Spencer had taken her coldish drink in one hand and the card in the other. She took a sip and winced at the taste. It was cold and bitter.
'Oh also, I think we should start sleeping together.'
Spencer was pretty sure she almost choked to death on cold coffee. She looked up mid cough to ask what kind of drugs Mona was on to suggest that.
But all she could see was the door swinging closed and the card in her hand.
_
The next day she was back at The Brew, sat in the same spot as yesterday. Coffee and a book in front of her. Yet she still couldn't concentrate on it.
She had made sure to grab a book that wasn't Little Women, that would just remind her of Mona's baffling behaviour yesterday. But today's book wasn't really helping. She didn't even know what she picked up, she was too distracted.
She had read the same paragraph three times over before she folded over the corner of the page to come back to later. From her bag she pulled out Mona's card.
She looked at it with concentration. What was Mona's goal here? What would she gain from this situation? Power? Blackmail material? No, neither of those would work. She shook her head, Spencer could never really understand Mona.
She dialled the number anyway.
Mona picked up on the second ring, Spencer could hear her saying to someone else that she needed to take the call.
'Hey Mona.'
'Spencer. Has anything happened, have you got a text? Do you guys need my help?'
She was talking about AD, she must have assumed that was the reason Spencer was calling. To be fair to her, that had been the only reason Spencer had contacted Mona before.
She sounded almost excited or a bit nervous. Did Mona enjoy helping them with AD? It probably made her feel included, made her feel useful and wanted. It was kind of sad, maybe they could have tried a bit more with her?
But tolerance can only go so far, and they did have genuine reasons as to why they couldn't trust her.
'Uhm, no. It's about what you said yesterday.' Well put Spencer, very eloquent.
'Oh.'
She sounded surprised. She must have forgotten about yesterday, and probably hadn't thought Spencer would call her about something not AD related.
'Have you considered my offer?' Spencer could almost see the smirk on her face, she was probably sat twirling a piece of hair around her finger too.
'Yeah I have. Mona, I don't trust you as far as I can throw you. And also I kind of don't like you. Why do you think I'd want to have sex with you?'
It's not that she was against having sex with Mona. Anyone with eyes could see that Mona was certainly very attractive. Attractive enough to convince Spencer, all those years ago, she wasn't totally straight.
But she had also tortured them for the best part of two years, so that was a bit of a turn off.
'I'm hurt Spence, I thought we were well on our way to becoming at least friendly acquaintances.' Spencer could hear her pout over the phone.
'Anyway,' she continued, 'since you and Caleb broke up, you're probably tightly wound and with all this AD stuff, we're all a little tense and need a bit of a release. And since everyone else has a respective bedmate, that leaves you and I.'
It was all true, but it didn't mean she had to put it so bluntly. With AD, Hanna's kidnapping and her and Caleb's breakup, she was left very, frustrated. She had tried a one night stand but there was no real intimacy there. It hadn't helped her, it was just a meaningless fuck.
'And I always thought, there was a certain amount of untapped chemistry between us.'
Spencer had to admit she was right there. There had always been some sort of tension following them around.
In middle school her, Mona and Andrew had competed for top marks, it lessened in high school when Mona 'dumbed' herself down for appearances. It was certainly a competition when Mona was -A, but Spencer just didn't know whom she was competing with.
Even after it was revealed Mona was -A and Spencer was determined to hate her, there was always a twinge of, what she had finally identified as, want circling within her regarding the girl.
And then there had been the whole debate club thing. Which had stirred certain feelings within her, feelings she hadn't really wanted to acknowledge at the time.
'I still don't understand why I should agree to this, for all you know I could be completely straight.'
By now she had completely abandoned her book for the foreseeable future and was staring out the window, watching cars and people go by.
'Oh, we both know you're not Spence.' Mona purred, sending a shiver down Spencer's back. Yeah she definitely wasn't straight.
Mona had then launched into a very detailed explanation of the reasons Spencer should sleep with her. She probably had a PowerPoint presentation to go with it, knowing her.
It would have been very convincing if Spencer was listening.
Instead her eye caught on a couple walking on the pavement across the road. Caleb and Hanna were walking hand in hand, he was laughing about something she said while she was passionately gesturing.
He then stopped her and pulled her into a kiss, it was chaste but sweet. It should have made Spencer feel jealous, but it only left her feeling lonely.
Spencer didn't know if it was Caleb she missed, or the companionship he brought, but she knew she didn't want to be alone anymore. And Mona was practically begging.
Even if it wasn't really a relationship, it was better than nothing.
'So, it would be like friends with benefits?'
She had completely cut off whatever Mona had been saying, possibly something about how brilliant they both were. It wasn't really important.
'If that's what you want to call it.'
She sighed.
'Sure, let's do it.'
This was something she could totally do. Just mindless sex. She had been told by previous boyfriends, she could be emotionally unavailable at times, and this was devoid of any emotions.
She was perfect for it.
It also helped that she didn't need to hide AD from Mona, as she was already involved. She couldn't get burnt by associating with her, like a few of her previous boyfriends had been.
'Tomorrow, why don't we meet at The Radley for drinks and after we can, pick up the books you want.'
She assumed 'pick up the books' was a euphemism. But she'd also quite like to read them, so maybe she'd take Mona up on her offer of lending them to her.
Overall, that sounded alright. Drinks could help diffuse the awkwardness, make them both feel more comfortable.
It couldn't hurt to have some light, breezy, no strings attached sex, right?
_
The next day, Spencer was sat at the bar in The Radley. A scotch in hand, majorly overthinking her decision. Was it really a smart idea to get entangled in Mona Vanderwall's spider web of mystery? Was she going to be treated well, or was she being lured in with the promise of honey, then trapped while Mona feasts?
Then Mona sat down, and her metaphor that was frankly getting away from her at this point, vanished along with her doubts.
She didn't look menacing, if anything she was the one who looked appetising, in that short, tight dress.
She looked so normal, cheerful even. Like a regular person, excited about a date. She looked so unlike the Mona she was regularly faced with.
'A scotch? What are you fifty?' The words sounded harsh but Mona's tone was light and playful.
'I happen to like it.'
She replied back, unsure of how this would go. She wasn't sure how to react to 'Date Mona' who was smiley and wearing a scandalously short skirt.
'Does it also happen to be Mr Hastings' favourite drink as well?' She tilted her head and fluttered her eyelashes, the effect was tantalising.
'Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it.' She replied back weakly. She was too flustered to come up with a better response.
Mona was correct, it was her father's favourite drink. Part of her thought that if she liked his drink they could have something in common, something they could talk and laugh about.
So far all it got her were hangovers.
'Alright, give me a try.'
Spencer passed the glass to her, Mona's hand lingered on Spencer's. It was warm and soft, like she had just been wearing gloves.
Damn.
She was good, Spencer would have to step it up.
By the time Spencer had finished her scotch, she was fairly tipsy. Buzzed enough for a good time, but not vomiting, crying and waking up with a hangover drunk. Mona was also fairly tipsy, borderline drunk. She had drunk two gin and tonics and was now sporting the prettiest smile and blush Spencer had ever seen.
This felt weirdly right, Mona and her.
She had actually had fun. Mona was interesting to talk to and she listened intently to Spencer's answers. When she wasn't stalking and torturing them, Spencer found she was quite nice to have around.
'You know Mona, I've had a great time, but I think it's time to, grab those books you promised.' She smiled at Mona, hoping she wasn't drunk enough that she wouldn't understand what she meant.
'Yeah, let's go. It's close enough to walk.' She said with a playful smirk, the alcohol flush still flayed out across her cheeks.
Spencer grabbed her purse and pulled out a few notes that would be enough to cover both their drinks and a generous tip. Spencer was a lot of things, but she wasn't a lousy date.
_
It was supposed to be light and breezy. That's what they had agreed, no feelings. They got together to release tension and have a bit of fun.
Clearly Spencer had a problem keeping promises.
She lay awake on her back staring at the ceiling of her room in the barn. Mona was curled into her side, her head leant on Spencer's shoulder. If she turned her head slightly she could smell Mona's lavender and jasmine shampoo.
Most nights the smell comforted her, tonight it just kept her up.
Spencer should have ran that first night. Ran away from the bar before Mona arrived. Left to the barn instead of collecting the books. That night, their first hook up, had been the point of no return. She had been doomed from the start.
That first night it had stopped being casual for Spencer.
That night, Mona hadn't winced or cringed at the sight of her scars from the Dollhouse, like everyone else did. Instead she kissed and traced patterns over them and revealed her own much worse scars.
Silently saying, 'I get it'.
That night Spencer knew she was done for.
Now she was almost at the end of the last Little Women book, Jo's Boys, and they were sleeping over after sex. It was just easier for both of them. Easier if there was an AD crisis and they needed to gather quickly.
Sure, that was the reason she agreed.
If Mona knew how much she meant to Spencer, she would immediately finish with her. Move on to another person to have actual unconnected sex with.
Sure, she'd had sex before with previous boyfriends, but with Mona it was like experiencing it again for the first time. Her previous boyfriends had always been slow and cautious, not wanting to hurt her. Acting like she was a precious thing that needed to be taken care of.
Yes it was nice, but it got old quick. Got boring, predictable.
Sex with Mona was anything but boring or predictable.
On days when they had to deal with AD, tensions were high when they went to see each other. They would strike an argument to get things heated, and would exhaust each other to the point of almost passing out.
When days were calm and the biggest thing Spencer dealt with was what to wear, were the nights when she had the most fun. Those nights were filled with passion and connection. Not anger at AD, and the world that allowed them to continue terrorising their lives.
These nights they could do whatever they pleased. She found out things about herself she wouldn't have known otherwise on these nights.
When they first started they would have a few drinks at The Radley before going back to one of their places. Then it progressed to having a glass of wine on the sofa before going to the bedroom. Now when the two of them had sex they were stone cold sober, drunk on each other's lust.
Sometimes, if they weren't busy they would make breakfast together the next morning.
It felt awfully domestic, not that she minded.
It was sort of nice, to have someone to make breakfast for. It was the kind of intimacy she missed when she and Caleb broke up. Not that she and Mona were in a relationship or anything, even if she desperately hoped they could be.
While she was thinking, Mona had started to stir.
'Stop thinking so hard, I can almost hear the cogs turn in your head.'
Mona's voice was slightly gravelly from sleep, and she wore a sleepy expression. Spencer cherished moments like these, when she got to see Mona without all her walls up. The 'Real Mona' she dubbed her.
'Go back to sleep.'
She lightly kissed Spencer's cheek, and lowered her head back to Spencer's shoulder. Very quickly her breath slowed and she was asleep again.
Spencer's cheek tingled, still feeling the ghost of Mona's lips brush on her skin. She pressed a kiss to the crown of Mona's head, brought her arm over the sleeping girl's waist and finally fell asleep.
Maybe hope wasn't such a bad thing after all.