Chapter Text
1-
They had a rocky start to be honest, after that first day they met, Bobby telling Buck to calm down and get to the truck after saving that baby in the pipes. He was so caught up in the emotions that he didn’t really notice how disrespectful he was.
“If that baby dies, that’s on you” he yelled, hatefully.
“Excuse me?”
“Buck, let’s go, NOW” Bobby said, but he was in the middle of a staring contest between the two. “Get in the truck, Buckley” he pushed Buck out of the way, to start walking.
“You better start controlling your firefighters, Captain Nash, or we are going to have trouble, am I clear?”
“Won’t happen again, sergeant”
Needless to say, Bobby scolded Buck once they got to the station, giving him only one more warning. One more mistake and he was out, for good.
And two days later, Buck did it again, he messed up and got fired. What the hell was he thinking, taking the firetruck to go have sex? Nothing, that’s the answer, he wasn’t thinking at all. He was done, he had nothing more, he was jobless again, he was completely alone and tired of everything.
But there was a little girl in danger, Hen called him and told him they needed his help to find her, and he was the only one available to do so, so okay, he could do that. And of course, she was there. He wasn’t really happy to see the sergeant again, but he needed to help that girl.
“They send you, uh?” Athena asked, sitting in the patrol car. “No heroics, is that clear?”
Buck nodded shortly and started driving around the neighborhood, looking for the house with the pink bike. He spotted it, letting dispatch know and the sergeant got into action immediately, going into the house.
And it happened quickly, the perpetrator was running away, towards a motorcycle, the police behind him, so he moved fast, getting up the ladder truck and shooting the guy with water, right into his chest, making him jump from the bike onto the floor. Athena got to him, but the guy punched her, she fought back and immobilized the asshole. She looked at Buck, nodding her thanks and he smiled.
Buck told a lady called Abby from dispatch, that the girl was safe and made his way to leave when he saw the sergeant sitting in the ambulance, a patch of ice on her face, treating what had been a hard punch. He sighed and went to her.
“Is the girl gonna be alright?” he asked her, standing close to the vehicle. His fists turned into balls, a little nervous. So he put his hands on the pocket of his jeans.
“Yeah, she’s a little shaken, but she has her mamma now” she said, looking at him steadily.
“Yeah” he looked at the girl with their parents, and it reminded him of how parentless he was, since he was 19 years old, and hell, even longer than that. No messages from them, no support, no love, they never loved him really and he knew that. He was used to it by now, didn’t mean it still hurt like hell. He looked back at the sergeant and saw her bruise more clearly, now that she had taken the ice pack down. “You okay?”
“Yes, not the first nor the last bruise I’ve gotten on the job. Nice save, by the way. Thank you” she smiled at him and he smiled back, but didn’t say anything.
“See you later, sergeant Grant” he walked away, getting into the truck and driving to the station.
Ten minutes later, he was parking into the station bay and getting out, facing Bobby.
“Athena called, to let me know what a great asset you are. Told her she was half right” Buck smiled and nodded looking down, letting in the praise he wasn’t used to getting. “Get dressed into your uniform, Firefighter Buckley” Bobby said and moved, letting Buck, Hen and Chimney standing close. He looked at Hen and she smiled, patting his shoulder.
Firefighter Buckley.
*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*
2-
People are stupid… and crazy, but mostly stupid when they are desperate. She's seen it a million times, the amount of miles people would go to get the attention of the ones they want. And it’s really not their fault but… seriously ?
As a woman, she doesn't blame Lola for wanting her husband to see her, but why doing this? She is standing on a transit sign hanging from a bridge in the middle of the highway, with a painted white sheet that says “SEE ME NORMAN”, and she’s naked, only wearing a coat.
Cops and firefighters are blocking the road, making a mess in the highway, people are getting impatient flashing their horns, heartless people recording Lola, thinking this is a funny prank, when clearly the woman is in distress.
And she’s made it known that she won’t come down until Norman sees her. But where the hell is Norman?
“Okay, get Buck in position” Bobby says into the radio, and Buck gets down, standing next to her in seconds. Hen, Chim and another two firefighters get the rescue mattress below her and then… she takes out a gun, and shoots the mattress, making the air go out, and Buck panics a little.
“Lola, you have a Norman, I have an Abby” he says, trying to make her stop and listen, but she’s not listening and she shoots Buck, and they can’t see where, but Bucks hits the floor of the wooden platform they're standing on.
And then there’s chaos, everybody is screaming at them, calling for Buck, telling Lola to stop right now but then Norman shows up and they talk. And the second she drops the gun, the police are on to her, arresting her and Eddie and Chim help Buck to the ambulance.
It’s just a graze on the arm, but Buck looks nervous, kinda surprised at the outcome of the situation. He has never been shot and damn it hurts. He was so lucky to be alive right now.
So now he’s sitting at the hospital bed, waiting for the discharge papers to be signed and going back to work- he doesn't want to go home (to Abby’s , his long gone girlfriend) to rest. His left arm is wrapped in gauze, he's wearing a gray LAFD t-shirt, more comfortable than the blue shirt he was wearing before, the cotton making the favour of not scratching the wound.
“Okay” Bobby says, entering the room. “The papers are signed, here’s prescription for the painkillers and you got 48h of rest”
“I don’t need rest, Bobby, I’m fine” he says, clearly annoyed at the situation.
“Just do what the doctors say, and don’t get into more trouble, please” the cap says and behind him is Athena, arms crossed. “I didn’t do anything wrong” Bucks whispers,
“How does it feel getting shot, Buck?” she asks, smiling.
“Painfull, but really, I’m fine, I can get back to work with no problem” he almost begs. Bobby looks at Athena for help. She nods and Bobby leaves them alone for a few minutes. Oh yeah, those two were into something.
“How are you?” she asks him, standing next to him, her hips leaning on the bed.
“Like I said, I’m fine Athena, really” he says, looking at the floor and then passing his right hand over his face. Athena noticed his hand shaking.
“Getting shot can be scary. It’s okay if you are” and Buck looked at her, eyes big and almost tearful. He took a second before nodding shyly and stared at his hands. She placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it a little. “Come on, let’s get your stuff from the station and go home”
He got up from the bed and both made their way outta the room, meeting Bobby and Eddie smiling at them. Buck saw Athena and Bobby shared a look and holding hands and he smiled, he was happy for them, for Cap to be happy, he deserved it. Eddie walked right beside him talking about something Christopher wanted to show him, if he wanted to go home with them.
He accepted the invitation.
*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*
3-
He messed up, he really did, filling that lawsuit. But he was so angry at Bobby, he was the one stopping him from getting back, and he was ready, dammit!! he was
The bombing of the ladder truck and the thing falling on top of him, on his freaking leg hurt so much, and the surgeries and the PT and the blood thinners making everything worse. He felt so alone and depressed and just desperate. And then a tsunami, for Christ sake! - can he just get a break? - and the meeting with the lawyer was awful, making everyone in the room just show hatred towards him.
They were pissed, they were right to be, and after he came back he apologized over and over again until he had no more words left to say. Until the only thing left to do was wait for them to try and get used to him again, to trust him.
And eventually they did, even Eddie, who was the most pissed at him. He avoided him like the plague at first, but he gave in too. He was back on the team, he was back at calls, no more chores, no more man-behind.
And he got to see Chris again, and he started spending more time with his family outside the job, but… he still felt like he was in the wrong. He couldn’t shake the feeling of being a burden, he couldn’t shake from his brain the look of disappointment on Bobby’s face, and Eddie’s words - of him being exhausting, to suck it up - still hurt like hell!
So he started to keep things to himself. Yes, he was back to being the golden retriever of the group, telling jokes, and sharing dumb facts about stuff, and eating at the table with them, but he kept quiet about his life in general. He was more private, more withdrawn, he still went to see his doctors, he was doing everything right, but just kept the results to himself, convinced he needed only good news for him to be able to share, because deep down, he thought Bobby would bench him again.
and apparently, people noticed.
He was sitting at the hospital chairs, in the waiting room, he was here to meet with his doctor and finally be free of the blood thinners. Bobby and the others knew he had a doctor's appointment, but he never specified with who or why. He only said it was a check up, a routine thing, it wasn’t important. He wasn't.
“Buckaroo?” someone called for him. When he looked up, he saw Athena staring at him, in uniform.
“Hey, ‘Thena” he smiled at her, but her face was somewhat shut down, serious, and he suddenly panicked. “Is everyone okay? Did something happen?” he said, shifting in his chair, about to stand up when Athena stopped him.
"Everything's fine, just drop a dumb kid at the ER. What are you doing here, Buck?” she asked, getting closer to where he was.
“Oh, I’m seeing my doc soon,” he said, staring at his watch.
“Is there any problem?” she sat next to him, showing him he has all her attention.
“No, it’s all fine, just.. control, you know?” he smiled, but not quite getting the reaction he expected from the sergeant. Athena looked at him, not believing him. “Uhm.. shouldn’t you get back to shift?” he asked, nervous, signaling to the door.
The sergeant looked at her watch now and shook her head, she sat more comfortably, crossing her legs. “No, it ends in ten minutes, if you don’t mind I’ll wait with you” she patted his leg, smiling at him again and just kept silent. She was waiting for him to open up, or course.
After a few minutes, he gave in and found himself speaking.
“It’s… they want to take me off the blood thinners, but last time, they said something about the screws on my leg and… I might need another surgery? I don’t know” he didn’t look at her, but he could feel her eyes on him.
“Have you told Bobby about it? Or Maddie”
“No, not yet”
“Why not, Buck? this is important”
“I just…” he shrugged and felt Athena sigh, loudly.
“You don’t want to be benched again, Damn you, Nash” she whispered the last part and Buck snapped his eyes at her.
“I know he cares, I really do, I just..”
“You don’t trust him. It’s okay, baby, after what he did… it’s okay if it takes time for you to trust them again” she said and grabbed his hand on hers.
‘baby’... since when she calls him baby?
“I want to, I just feel like.. after what I did with the lawsuit, I don’t feel like telling them bad news, I want to prove them that I’m okay”
“Buck, yes, you made a mistake, but they forgave you. You have to tell them how you feel, what’s going on with you, even if it is bad news. That’s what friendships and families are supposed to do with each other”. Buck nodded and looked at the floor. “Is this because of what Eddie said to you? At Howie’s?”
“You know about that? How?” he squinted his eyes.
“Hen told me” and Buck nodded, they were friends, of course they would talk. “And trust me, I've been waiting for the right time to punch Eddie in the face since then” Buck smiled slightly.
“He was angry, I get it. he was right too” he shrugged.
“No, he wasn’t. Buckaroo, you are not a robot, you have the right to express your emotions. Just because he chooses to keep quiet or a physical outlet to deal with his, doesn't mean it’s the healthiest thing to do”
“Yeah, I guess”
“And if you are scared of talking to them, you can always come to me. I’ll listen”
“Really? you’ll do that for me?” he said, looking at her with so much hurt and hope on his face, that Athena melted.
“Of course, baby”
“Evan Buckley?" a nurse called him and they turned to her, she was standing in the hallway, looking around, searching for him.
“Here” he said and got up from the chair, and made to leave but he turned around to look at Athena. He opened his mouth to say something but he hesitated.
“Want me to go with you?” she asks and notices the way his fingers fidget. “Please?” he whispered. She got up too, and clapped his back. “Let’s go see that doctor”
The doctor was kind enough to explain everything to them, and finally said that there was no need for a surgery, they had found what the problem was and it was in fact easily fixed by taking the blood thinners off.
so from that same morning, he didn’t need those pills anymore. Buck informed her that he actually had a late shift, and she offered to go with him and shared the news.
And the team was happy. And he was happy with their response.
And Athena smiled at him when he found her eyes.
*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*NineOneOne*
4-
After Athena's attack, they were all a little unsettled. Especially Bobby.
Listening to your wife, the love of your life, being attacked so brutally over the radiocomms not being able to do anything about it, was horrible for the captain of the 118. And when they got there, and tended to her wounds.. Well, it left everyone to finally realize that as much as Athena was a badass, she was still human and got hurt, and she felt pain and she could get scared too.
She was a tough woman, of course, she was fine , but still she flinched at little noises or sudden movements, still looking for shadows or ghosts everywhere she went. Buck didn’t know if the team noticed, but he did. He could see her, he’s been there before, when he didn't leave Hershey yet.
Bobby had taken some time off to take care of her, being promised they would handle things at the station. But the time was up after two weeks and he had to come back to work.
It was one of those shifts where they didn’t work together, Buck was covering for another firefighter, having worked almost 72h straight, and getting 48h off. But as Buck was gathering his stuff at the end of his day, Eddie, Hen and Chim were just getting to the station, concerned about their captain running late.
As they greeted each other on the loft for a morning coffee, they noticed Bobby walking up the stairs almost 30 minutes late to shift: he had this look on his face… He was worried, he looked tired.
“Hey Cap” Eddie saluted him.
“Hello Eddie” he greeted back, and sighed.
“You okay Cap? Difficult night?” Hen asked, trying to not sound so worried, trying not to sound like she knew what his face was all about.
“Yes,” Bobby said, sitting down at the table with a cup of black strong coffee in his hands. “Athena is… she’s having too many nightmares. She keeps saying she’s fine but… I can see her face in the morning, she terrified”
“Is she getting any sleep at all?” Chimney interrupts.
“Barely. And she keeps doing things around the house to stay awake. Yesterday I found her cleaning the whole living room, everything was upside down. She looked maniac. Don’t tell her I said that” he begged, closing his eyes and caressing his forehead with his hand, head hanging low.
“I can keep her company today, if you want,” Buck said, looking worried. “Maybe convince her to sleep a few hours”
“What are you, the sleeping fairy now?” Eddie stepped in, snorting. Buck squinted at him and stuck out his tongue.
“No way, you just had 3 days shift, non stop, you need to rest, Buck”
“I know, but.. maybe it’ll make her feel.. safe? I can sleep on the couch if I get really tired” he shrugged, nonchalantly. Bobby stared at him, gratefully.
“Okay” he finally agreed. “Thank you Buck”
“Sure, I'll stop by the coffee store and buy something for breakfast” he said getting up, and hugged his captain from behind. “I’ll let you know if something comes up”
“Make sure you have an excuse for why you are there” Hen said, yelling after him, he turned and smiled nodding at her. He said goodbye from the stairs and left.
Someone was knocking on her front door and she panicked a little. Who was visiting this early in the morning? Bobby was at the station and Harry and May were at the school. She looked through the peephole in the door and calmed a little. It was their gigantic blond firefighter. She opened the door.
“Hi, there” he greeted Athena. He was carrying a cup holder with two cups of coffee and a bag of pastries.
“Buckaroo, what are you doing here?” she smiled and let him in.
“I came to visit, and brought you that coconut milk latte you like so much,” he said, shaking the cup.
They went down the stairs and Buck placed the bags on the coffee table; “Madame” he says, pointing to the couch, asking her to sit down. So she did and Buck ran towards the kitchen. She could hear him opening the cupboards and grabbing some plates and cutlery from the drawer. When he came back, he smiled at her and sat next to her, putting the pastries on the plates and placing one in front of her.
“So, Bobby sent you?” she asked him, looking at him seriously. She was no fool.
“No” he said and Athena snorted. “Well, yes” she shook her head. “Technically I offered to come and keep you company”
“I told Bobby, I’m fine, you didn’t have to come all the way here” she protested and looked at Buck annoyed, but the kid’s face told her he probably needed to be here.
Buck sighed and he settled into the couch, to be closer to her and look her straight in the eyes. “Athena, I know that you know that I have a master’s degree at saying everything’s fine when it’s really not” his voice was low but kind, he was talking to her slowly like making a point, his eyes full of love towards her. “And I’m not here to pressure you to talk about what’s going on in that head of yours, I know that’s not what you want and I respect that. But just… let me be here for you, okay?”
Athena looked at him, his eyes going red, emotions showing in a way only Buck can. He was a man not afraid of showing he cared, even if it meant crying his eyes out. He was an advocate for stopping toxic masculinity.
She took a breath and patted his leg, nodding. He indeed needed this as much as she did. “Okay, Buckaroo”
“Besides..” he says, clearing his throat. “I-uhm.. I might have… something I want to tell you. A secret” he looked a little nervous.
“Oh, well, that got my attention, ”
“So, there’s this… person I met some time ago that I really like. And I’m losing my mind, because I want to tell them, right? But I don’t want to ruin things, you know?” He sipped his coffee, then held the cup in his hands, looking at it.
“Mmm what would you be ruining?”
“We are.. friends. And I don’t know, he’s still so into the closet. I’m just waiting for him to figure himself out?” he said and timidly looked at Athena. OH! Buck was coming out to her. This beautiful, kind and strong firefighter, at this point a member of her family, was coming out to her. He trusted her with a piece of him. And that made Athena’s heart beat loudly in her chest.
“Oh! OKay, well, if you like him that much… you could wait for him until that happens. But you shouldn’t stop yourself from living because of that” she says, casually drinking her coffee.
“You.. you’re not gonna say anything else?” he was surprised at her lack of…
“About what? About you… liking guys? You think I’ll start treating you differently because you’re… gay ? Is that your label now?” and Buck laughed.
“No, it’s… bisexual, actually” he stared at his hands, smiling shyly
“Baby, your sexuality doesn’t dictate how I feel about you, okay?” She told him and placed her hand on his cheek. “You are who you are, and I’m proud either way, okay?” Buck smiled at her.
“Okay, alright. Thank you, for.. you know, accepting me. I knew you would, but still…”
“I know, it’s scary, but Hen’s our friend too, and Michael is the father of my kids.. all I see is another kind soul I have the pleasure to know in this timeline that is my life. Does Maddie know?”
“Uh.. no. I never told her”
“Does… this oblivious best friend of yours that you are so in love with know?”
“No, Eddie doesn’t know either. Wait” he looked at her, honestly shocked. “How did you…?”
“Oh, I have this six sense, it’s a mum thing” she laughed at his face. He tilted his head, lovingly and laughed again.
They spent another hour talking until Athena started nodding off. She was really tired after last night, but she didn’t want to go to sleep.
“Lay down, I’ll clean all this” he whispered, and went to the kitchen to throw the coffee containers in the trash and wash the dishes they used. By the time he made it back to her side, she was asleep, curled on the couch.
He grabbed the blanket from the backrest of the couch and covered her, leaving her to rest, and getting lunch ready for when the kids got home.
After cleaning the kitchen and putting the trash bags out, he set to cooking. It was a recipe from Bobby, they made it for the team one night during shift, and it was a success. Once the chicken was out of the oven and the rice was condimented, he sat down on the porch to rest a little.
He woke up a few hours later to May shaking his shoulder.
“Hey, May” he saw a smile on her face. “What?”
“I don’t know how you did it, but she’s asleep, finally” they both looked at where her mother was still sleeping and he smiled, content that she’s gotten some rest. “You made her feel safe Buck, thank you” she went to hug him and he accepted the embrace.
“It’s okay, happy to help” he got up from the chair and they went inside the house. “Why don’t you set up the table, I'll wake her up” the younger girl nodded.
“Hey, ‘Thena” he whispered, shaking her shoulder and she opened her eyes slowly. She looked at him and sat up, she looked a little confused. “Want to have a late lunch? Your kids are here”
“How long did I sleep?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.
“Like 6 hours,” he said, looking at his watch. “No nightmares?” he whispered.
She shakes her head.
and if she hugged Buck with all her force saying goodbye once Bobby was home, Buck didn’t say a damn thing.