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His first semester had started almost three months ago. On the one hand it felt like yesterday, time had seemed to run through his fingers. When you try to keep up with everything new that tends to happen.
On the other it had been ages. Hori had not had time to visit his friends from school. Everyday he got home late, got up early to commute and the weekends he mostly spent at university as well, studying in the library, or in his new drama club.
But this was the school festival and the drama club would perform, saying it had not burned down yet. Hori still wasn’t sure if they had been able to keep Kashima in check.
Kashima. They had been in touch actually. He’d even tried to meet up with her from time to time but it never worked out, too busy. Hori felt really bad about it, but there had just been no helping it.
She’d kept him updated on school, the club and had also asked about him, the new club specifically. And whether she could join soon as well. He wasn’t sure if he wanted her to.
Hori had arrived home and was now searching for his keys, lost in thought. It was weird. He had been so used to seeing her almost everyday and tomorrow would be the first time in about three months!
Tomorrow…
—
Hori was just in time for the dress rehearsal. Of course only to check up on things. Everything looked strangely… normal? Except not normal for this school’s drama club. More like the one he was currently attending.
No broken props, no screeching girls, and over there was Kashima. He immediately went up to her and Minori, the new manager. Hori had picked her himself. Minori was efficient, quiet but steadfast. And apparently she had really managed.
When they saw him coming Kashima’s face lit up instantly. She jumped towards Hori shouting: “ Hori-chan-senpai! It has been so long! I’m glad you are here. I learned all my lines by myself, ok, Minori helped!”
His face could not decide between grinning and scowling while he watched her bounce up and down so it was more of a grimace: “I’m not sure if I missed you…”, he mumbled. At that moment Hori remembered that Minori was there too and that he had not greeted her yet. So he turned to her apologetically. Rubbing his neck he said: “Sorry Minori. Long time no see! I see you have done a very good job here, handling everything.”, with that he tried not to only gesture towards Kashima.
Minori in return waved her hands in a humbling gesture: “It’s nothing. I could not have done it without all those people here anyways.” With a twinkle in her eye she added: “I just hope you did not expect everything to fall apart without you here.”
“No, of course not.” Hori answered a little bit too quickly. “But somehow one is always surprised, and a little bit sad maybe, if things go on too well without you there.” He grinned: “Makes you wonder if you were as important as you thought you were.”
Minori just laughed at that. And even more when he was being dragged away by Kashima to the front seats. Then the dress rehearsal started.
—
The performance had gone well. Hori had to admit that they really had done an excellent job. Kashima had outdone herself again. Maybe his words to Minori had contained some truth after all.
He had been invited by the cast to join the festivities after the school festival. After catching up with some former classmates he went outside to join the others by the fire.
When he arrived everyone had already spread in little groups around the fire. Remembering his last school festivals he knew that these talks normally were quite serious, about the future, love, life. Probably because of the atmosphere the fire created.
Hori was soon able to spot Kashima, alone with Minori. Had the fangirls forgotten about her completely?
It looked like they were having a serious conversation as well. Minori’s face was lit up by flames, Kashima was sitting with her back towards him. Her hair was messy, probably from the backstage party after the performance. Hori felt like reaching out to her and stroking through it, putting everything back into place. But he was still too far away.
As he came closer he noticed an air around them that was strange. Like something intimate. No, he must be wrong. They had not noticed him yet, so Hori stopped in his tracks as soon as he realized what it felt like. He’d witnessed situations like these. But not with Kashima. This could not be serious. He was definitely just overthinking this!
Hori was just about to take another step towards them, when Minori’s hand suddenly was in Kashima’s hair. Then she pulled Kashima down just a bit, and, kissed her? No one except Hori had seemed to notice what was going on, and he himself was not sure if he was mentally present at this moment.
Something in him was breaking. He was not sure what though. But he also could not pull himself away.
When they finally broke apart, after what felt like ages to him, but was only a second at best in reality, Hori couldn’t find any strength in him to face them. So he just sat down where he stood, contemplating what just happened.
—
Had they gotten together some time ago? That would explain the lack of fangirls. But why hadn’t Kashima told him? Did she not trust him anymore, had she ever?
But then again, it was her first relationship as well. And with a girl. Not that most people were expecting anything else. Maybe it was fresh and she was still processing it herself.
Hori had been staring into the fire, and when he finally looked back to where they had been sitting Minori was alone. She was also facing the fire, with a faint smile on her face.
This was his crossroad. He could either go home and pretend he had been too tired to show up after all. Or he could go over to her now. Hori was not sure what he would say. But he knew that he had to go over there or he would regret it.
That’s why he slowly got up and walked over to Minori. It felt like he was putting on a facade when he said: “I found you! Sorry it took so long.” After a short breather he hesitantly added: “Where is Kashima – out being chased by fangirls?” Hori had wanted to make it sound funny.
Minori must have missed the bitterness in his voice: “Oh, you are back! Kashima just went to the toilet.” she smiled. Then her gaze fell back into the fire.
Awkward. Hori thought. But he was almost sure that was just him. So he proceeded to sit down besides her and let his gaze wander over the different little groups around the fire. As he stared the flames reflected on his face, just as they had flickered over theirs.
Silence settled in, almost comforting. It left him feeling drowsy and less awkward.
After a while Hori chuckled to himself. Minori turned to him questioningly. He smirked not turning his head towards her, then he said: “Break her heart, and I’ll break your neck.” Out of the corners of his eyes he could see Minori looking even more puzzled. So, Hori elaborated: “That’s what I wanted to tell her future partner…”
A faint blush appeared on Minori’s cheeks. Before she could say anything Hori added: “And I still do want to do that. But it does feel so different from what I imagined. I thought I’d look intimidating and all, standing up for her. I don’t know…”, he became quiet. “I don’t think I could break your neck. And even though I respect you and have known you for a long time, I’d still rather break yours than seeing Kashima hurt. So I hope you two know what you are doing.”
Then for the first time, he turned to her, feeling extremely stupid. But he had just had to say it.
But when he did, Kashima was there, standing behind him. His eyes met hers, the flames lit up her eyes and she looked prettier than ever. And time stood still.
He couldn’t linger for long. Quiet sobbing turned their attention towards Minori, her face in her hands. Kashima immediately kneeled down beside her, when Hori felt the thing that had started breaking in him earlier crumble into tiny pieces.
Now he had really done it.
Then Kashima spoke, not turning to him. Hori was glad about that, he was not sure if he was able to face her straight on right now. “ You are an idiot, senpai. This is not about you. Let me handle it.”
Hori felt like he watched his friendship run through his fingers, while his guts seemed happy to tear themselves apart, possibly releasing him from this misery.
She motioned him to step away, he did comply with some difficulty, and then she took Minori’s hand and started talking to her in a soothing voice. Hori could not understand a word as he was walking away, the blood rushing in his ears made it impossible to understand his own thoughts.
Hori had settled down at the root of a tree a bit further away. After what felt like hours Kashima stood up again. At that point he noticed that he had been watching her back all this time. Was it possible for humans to become one with a tree?
Then she was suddenly there. After looking at him for a moment she cocked her head and sat down in front of him. “Hori-chan-senpai. Since when have you started threatening girls. I don’t think university is good for you.”
Hori was unable to answer. He still could not read her nor anticipate what she was going to say next so he just waited.
“You know. When I went to the toilet I was actually hoping that I would find you to ask for advice. But instead you made it worse and let me handle it myself.”
She’d wanted his advice? What for? “Wait, you are telling me you are not together?” he blurted out.
Kashima smiled: “I had to turn her down, sadly, so your cool speech was for nothing.”
Hori’s ears were slowly turning red. He’d been a bigger idiot than he’d thought. He felt there was nothing to add but:
“I’m sorry.”
Kashima just nodded in response and sat down beside him. Then they sat in silence for a while. He had missed this. Spending time with her. But he could not quite savor the moment because it still felt like hot and cold showers were going down his back whenever he thought back on what just happened.
“Why did you turn her down though? She’s nice.” Hori stared at his feet.
“I got someone else I like.”
For tonight Hori had used up his blunder quota so he did not ask further after that. But her answer also did not help his inability to sleep that night.