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He had stupid eyes. Eyes that were too wide and too bright in all the right ways. Too trusting, like the lamb at the altar, looking to the priest for love and affection, its mother sobbing silently behind wooden doors. This was no place to look for kindness.
"ST0P ST4RING AT M3 LIKE TH4T."
Griefer waved a hand gently in front of Player's face, watching his face flutter through the gaps between his fingers.
"Can I touch your leaves?"
The question was like a punch in the gut. They were scars, scars that were alive and a constant reminder of his ridiculous, disappointing mistake. Why would Player ever want to touch those?
"B3 GEN7LE," Griefer warned, leaning forward in the grass, tucking his knees up to his chin.
The towering trees loomed above them, lethargic vines draping across the branches like sashes. Gentle breezes whispered among the fanning leaves, giggling at their own secrets. Player and Griefer sat alone, alienated from the rest of Robloxia in the clearing under the celing of stars, deep in the jungle.
Blind, they were both blind. Half because of the dark and the other of their stupid judgement.
How blind it was for Player to trust him. To place their heart in the hands of a monster, with no guarantee Player won't end up as broken as before. How foolish it was for him to not only trust but love the man, to reach for him in the darkest of seas, when drowning to his own reasoning. There was no explaination for why he still loved the man who ruined him so badly.
How blind it was for Griefer to change. He was nothing but a weight on the ankle of the world. A catastrophe, a ruined fiasco that pulled others down like a sinkhole. And yet he still allowed himself to be loved like something alive. Like something worthy of this innocent, pure affection. To be loved like he wouldn't detonate again, to be loved like he wouldn't corrupt others. He was nothing but a starved fool at heart.
But he adored it. The gentle run of Player's fingers on his leaves.
"Are you smiling? I think you're smiling, I can't tell. It's too dark. Or are you always dark and brooding?" The was a muffled giggle coming from Player, as the hand on his vines stopped.
"I 4M NOT ALW4YS D4RK AND BR00D1NG. Y0U'R3 JUST BR1GHT ALL TH3 TIM3."
Not that Griefer was really complaining. Every midsummer night needed its fireflies.
"Would you rather I be like you? 'HEY, I'M GRIEFER AND I SUCK AT MARIO KART. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I HATE EVERYONE.'"
"WH- H3Y-!! I DO N07 SUCK 4T MAR10 K4RT-" Griefer scowled and crossed his arms over his knees "-AND 1'M NOT ALWAY5 GRUMPY!
"Well, you're never happy."
I'm happy when I'm with you, he thought. But he would never admit that out loud, just like every other insecurity, doubt, or fleeting shadow across his mind. Instead, he reached out and grabbed Player's free hand.
In the meager moonlight it was difficult to read one anothers' faces, but Griefer tried his best to give him a smile.
"I'M H4PPY R1GHT N0W."
"Prove it, grumpypants."
Griefer pulled Player forward, roughly but not so it showed that he hadn't changed. He had been trying, so hard, for the boy he loved- pushing his neck onto the guillotine of approval.
Wordlessly he leaned into Player's face, shutting the door before any gust of self-deprication could sweep inside.
The kiss felt wrong.
Sickly sweet, so revoltingly affectionate, and Griefer showered himself in the vile, twisted love. He didn't deserve this kiss. But here he was, greedily loving like the monster inside him would have wanted.
He pulled away, panting, the crisp night air scalding his lungs, the heavy touch of the love of his life in his arms.
It didn't matter. Whether or not he was worthy of love didn't alter the fact that it was bestowed upon him. And if they both were blind and stupid, so be it.
At the very least, they would always be loved.