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“Karizaki what is this?” Hiromi held out his phone, showing him the picture he'd just posted on social media.
It was a picture of the parfaits they just had. Pretty mundane on its own, but the caption had caught his attention immediately.
On a date with Hiromi 🍨
Karizaki squinted, leaning in to look, then lifted his brow questioningly. “Sorry, did you not want me to?”
Hiromi blinked rapidly, eyes darting between him and the phone few times before he dared to speak.
“No, it's just… you didn't tell me this was a… date,” he said carefully, a faint blush settling on his cheeks.
Karizaki looked at him blankly.
“Didn't think I needed to, it's not like it's the first time,” he said with a shrug.
Hiromi's brows knit together in confusion. What on earth was he talking about?
“It’s…not….?” he asked.
They stared at each other in silence far longer than he found comfortable.
“Hiromi. What type of relationship do you think we have?” Karizaki finally asked him.
“I'm… not sure I can answer that,” he said, eyes locked onto the empty dessert bowl before him. His cheeks were starting to flame increasingly hot from embarrassment. There were far too many questions this situation had presented him with, and he didn’t know the answer to a single one.
How long has this been going on? When was the first one, then? Did he do something to imply such a thing? Had he missed something? Forgotten? What did Karizaki think their relationship was? Did anyone else think they were romantically involved?
It was immediately clear to him he was going to need a second opinion on the matter. The urge to flee quickly overtook him and he staggered up, yelping as his knee hit the table that wobbled upon impact. He could feel Karizaki staring, but wouldn’t meet his gaze.
“I- I have something I need to, to uh, take care of, so I’m going-” he stuttered, spinning on his heels to make his escape. He gave up on finishing the sentence, choosing to leave with hurried steps before he’d embarrass himself any further.
He really needed someone to help him make sense of this.
As he walked down the hallway of Blue Bird headquarters with Daiji at the end of his shift, he finally found the courage to bring up his troubles with Karizaki.
“Daiji…” he began, voice already threatening to crack under the pressure.
The younger man made a noise of acknowledgement.
"What do you think of mine and Karizaki’s… um… relationship?”
He didn’t look straight at him, but he could tell Daiji was still shuffling through the report, much more unfazed by the question than he had expected him to be.
“I think it’s good," he began, "for the both of you, but I think Karizaki-san needed it the most. I’m glad he’s changed for the better since.” He closed the file with a flap. “I’m happy for the both of you.”
He didn’t explicitly say it, but he did sound as if he was talking about them dating. Hiromi chose to question him further to clear his suspicion.
“When did you notice?” he asked tentatively.
Daiji hummed thoughtfully before speaking.
“Shortly after Blue Bird was established, I think? We did start working together again then, and you two kept going out a lot.”
He wondered if it was around that time Karizaki had started to assume so as well. Although he found it strange he would think that so early on, since they hadn’t been out that many times yet. It must’ve piqued everyone’s interest how often they were together, though.
When did that start becoming the norm?
Daiji seemed to have noticed he’d fallen silent and spoke up.
“Did something happen between you two?” he asked.
Hiromi frowned. He was facing a problem everyone else had managed to avoid entirely, and he couldn’t exactly voice those concerns without humiliating himself.
“We had a bit of a… disagreement,” he said pensively. “I started wondering what everyone else thought about us because of that.”
“Karizaki-san is quite an unusual person… I think it’s best you just talked it through. He’s not very good at picking on what others think,” Daiji said sympathetically.
Hiromi nodded. That was true, Karizaki was very different from everyone else: maybe that’s what led to this situation in the first place. That, combined with his limited dating history, was enough to cause a mess like this.
When they finally made it to the locker rooms, Hiromi nodded at him in appreciation.
“Thank you Daiji, for listening. It was helpful.”
“Of course,” he said with a smile. “That’s what friends are for.”
He was lucky enough to visit the bathhouse during a slow day. He’d asked Ikki to join him, and it was only them and an elderly man with a bad hearing, an audience he could deal with: he could probably bring up the subject without dying of embarrassment right away.
“Ikki…”
“Hm?”
“What do you think about mine and Karizaki’s relationship?” he asked. He hoped his voice didn't sound as nervous as he imagined it to be, but the change of pitch midway through the sentence wasn't promising much.
The water splashed quietly as Ikki turned his face in his direction. Hiromi still couldn’t bring himself to look at him properly, though.
“I think it’s great you two are going out. It’s clearly helped Karizaki-san move forward, too,” he said cheerfully.
Hiromi immediately choked on his spit, coughing in surprise. Even Ikki thought that? He didn’t think he was the type to be attentive to people's relationships. Not that he was either, he supposed, but Ikki was also much younger than him… Maybe he just had more experience on the matter. He had to admit the thought stung a little.
“Are you okay, Hiromi-san?” Ikki asked with worry, leaning forward to pat his back.
Eventually, he managed to collect himself.
“Sorry, I… I suppose hearing someone else talk about it feels a bit sudden…” he said, swallowing down the remaining coughs.
Ikki pursued his lips with a small frown.
“Sudden? I thought you had gone out for months now?”
Hiromi thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head upon such revelation. For months? He tried to think back to last years’ events, hoping there would be something that would connect the dots for him. Things had been relatively calm since the Alicorn incident, aside from the few times Orteca had managed to escape, but that usually took them a day at the most. He and Karizaki had been able to spend quite a lot of time together, but did it really seem that way to everyone else?
He tried thinking about the things they had done together. Café visits were the most common, but they did also catch a movie from time to time. Karizaki was quite insistent on taking him to see various superhero movies, and would gush about them for hours on end afterwards. They watched some shows at his place too, as he had a large collection to go through.
What had it been like, exactly? Karizaki always seemed very immersed in everything they watched, having dramatic reactions and checking his opinion every time. He was also quite physical, grabbing and shaking him, leaning in a lot, touching him…
Now that he thought about it, the level of physical contact they had wasn't exactly common between male friends. He’d assumed Karizaki simply was like that with everyone: he’d always been quite touchy-feely, even back in his Fenix days. But he’d often end up laying partly on top of him on the sofa with splayed limbs, or trying to snuggle under his arm when it was draped across the backrest, or leaning onto his shoulder. And he always welcomed it, partly subconsciously, but never found himself questioning it. It was actually quite pleasant, and it made him relieved that Karizaki was so comfortable in his presence.
That… was considered cuddling, wasn’t it? How long had they been doing that for? It had come so naturally he’d hardly noticed it, as if it was something they’d always done.
His face was burning, and he doubted the hot bath water was to blame anymore. He fervently tried to think of an answer that wasn’t along the lines of I’ve been cuddling and going out with Karizaki for months and I never realized.
“I’m… not quite sure when we started to, to be honest. It kind of just… happened," he said eventually. At least that part was true — he just never caught on himself.
“Oh, I see,” Ikki said. “Well, as long as you’re both happy, it really doesn’t matter though, does it?”
…that's true.
He was happy.
He never thought about it, but being with Karizaki made him happy in a way that was different from everyone else. It’s not like he’d never entertained the thought of dating Karizaki, or found himself being attracted to him: he’d simply pushed those thoughts aside because he thought he wasn’t allowed to feel that way. That he needed to respect the friendship they’d managed to build after all they'd been through.
And all this time, Karizaki had been doing just that. Maybe he could tell he felt his way, even when he denied it himself. That maybe he’d always seen through him.
How had everyone else seen him, then? Did he look like a love-struck idiot when they were together? Spending your free time with a friend hardly warranted such suspicion on its own, especially with the past they had together. Was it something Karizaki did? Since he was missing the signs left and right, he could’ve simply filtered out everything people usually considered strange. Hands lingering just a bit longer than needed, standing closer than necessary, eyes roaming in unwarranted places…
Well, that sounded familiar. He’d sometimes catch himself staring, too: eyes following Karizaki’s lips as they bent around a spoon, how they curled when he blew his coffee in the morning, the times he pinched them with his chopsticks while deep in thought.
…he really must’ve looked like an idiot.
Sometimes Karizaki’s hand would pat him between shoulder blades, then slide down, fingers lingering on the small of his back. An encouraging hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently, smoothing over the base of his neck. A firm grip on his arm, thumb tracing along the muscle…
He exhaled shakily. One after another, memories of their small interactions flooded his mind, clicking together like puzzle pieces.
He was dating Karizaki… in all the ways other than explicitly stating so. But he wasn’t completely to blame, was he? After all, they’d never verbally agreed to it. Neither of them ever confessed, or did something undoubtedly romantic… right?
He really needed to see Karizaki. Right now.
“I’m sorry Ikki, there’s somewhere I need to be,” he said hurriedly, water splashing around him as he rose from the bath.
“Oh, okay,” Ikki responded in confusion, but the words quickly drowned under his increasingly loud thoughts.
His hands shook as he typed a message to Karizaki.
> Can we meet today?
He hoped he didn't need to specify a reason, because he still wasn't sure what he was going to say. The only thing he knew was that he wanted to set things straight: he didn't want to spend a single moment hiding his feelings anymore.
The phone pinged much quicker than he'd anticipated, making him jump.
> Sure, let me know when you're free ;)
He sighed in relief. At least this part was easy.
He should probably think of a location that was far enough so he could mentally prepare on his way over.
Eventually, they settled on Karizaki's apartment. After weighing his options, Hiromi decided it'd be best not to have this talk in public: he most certainly didn't trust in his ability to stay calm under these circumstances.
He swallowed as he rang the doorbell. Admittedly, he still hadn't quite managed to arrange his thoughts to anything resembling a proper speech. The only thing he knew was that he wanted to apologize, and then make his feelings known. Maybe going with the flow was his best bet, even if he didn't exactly have a way with words. At least it'd be honest.
The door opened with a creak, and Karizaki's head peeked out.
"Hiromi, welcome," he said with a smile, leaning back to guide him in. He seemed much more relaxed, to the point Hiromi wondered whether he had already moved past their previous conversation.
He nodded as he stepped inside, quickly removing his shoes in the entryway so he could follow after Karizaki who had made his way to the living room.
"So, what's up?" Karizaki asked, one side of his mouth tilted up into a smile.
Hiromi doubted he was completely unaware of the implications of his visit. He swallowed again, looking to the side to avoid his gaze. Where should he even start?
"I, um-," he began, threatening to trip over his words. "What you said… about our relationship, it made me… think."
He quickly glanced at Karizaki for a reaction, but the man was still unmoved. His gaze fell back down.
"I didn't realize our relationship had gone that far. Thinking back, I suppose I should have, and for that, I apologize."
He took a deep breath between words, then looked back at Karizaki with a steadier gaze.
"I'm sorry, Karizaki. I should've been more attentive of your feelings."
Karizaki chuckled, head falling down as he rubbed the back of his neck. For a brief moment he worried he'd already made a fool of himself.
"Yeah, well, I thought about it too, and, uh… I suppose I never asked you, either," he said, seemingly embarrassed, cheeks tinting into a soft shade of pink. "I just assumed you didn't want to make a number out of it and took things slowly."
He let out a frustrated sigh.
"So… I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have assumed that without asking you."
It surprised Hiromi just how genuinely apologetical he was. Karizaki had never been great at speaking from the heart, often avoiding situations where he'd end up vulnerable, either walking out or making a joke out of them. The thought that he was opening up to him this way made his heart flutter. Finally, he allowed a small smile spread across his lips.
"It's alright," he said softly, taking a tentative step closer. "I… was likely lying to myself, thinking that wasn't the case. I didn't want it to affect our friendship, so I told myself not to think about it. That I shouldn't… get my hopes up."
He stared at his hand as he placed it on the backrest of the sofa, struggling to keep a calm demeanor under the increasing sense of embarrassment. Admitting these feelings out loud after holding them in for so long was much harder than he'd thought it would be.
"That being said," he began, lifting his gaze. "Karizaki, will you go out with me?" He was immediately relieved he was capable of speaking as clearly as he did — maybe being honest with his feelings really did help him through this.
For a split second, Karizaki's expression changed into a genuine surprise, before it softened into a warm smile.
"Of course," he said, before taking a step towards him. He placed his hand on top of his still on the sofa, squeezing it lightly. "Thank you, Hiromi, for always putting up with me."
Hiromi chuckled under his breath as he dropped his gaze, shifting his hand so their fingers intertwined.
"I wouldn't call it that, exactly," he said, thumb slowly stroking his hand. "I do find your antics quite endearing, you know."
When he looked up, Karizaki was blushing, much clearer than before, lips curled into a coy smile. It was a stark contrast to his usual self that was much bolder and straightforward, but in that moment, Hiromi thought it was the most beautiful he'd ever seen him.
"I'm glad," Karizaki said softly, lashes fluttering over his eyes, gaze fixed on their hands. "Still, I do mean it. I…"
It took him a few timid glances before he managed to meet his gaze again, his posture stiffening before he spoke.
"I like you a lot, Hiromi."
The genuine emotion in his voice made Hiromi shiver with something he couldn't quite recognize. It made his breath hitch, spreading gentle warmth in his chest. It embraced him from deep within, making him swell with affection.
"I like you, too," he replied, not missing a single beat. He stepped closer, reaching out to place a hand on the side of Karizaki's neck.
"I want to kiss you," he said, the thought slipping out before he had the chance to rephrase it.
"I- I mean, I… Can I kiss you?" he stuttered, trying to salvage the situation, cheeks burning with embarrassment.
Karizaki giggled lightly, his face relaxing into an affectionate smile.
"I've never wanted anything more," he said, and that was all Hiromi needed to hear.
He leaned in, much hastier than he meant to, pulling him close by his neck, until their lips met.
First he thought about how warm Karizaki felt, his touch spreading heat throughout his body. How his lips seemed to melt into his. How his fingers nearly burned where they rested on his neck, like he was on fire under his skin.
Then how soft his lips were, just like he'd imagined them to be. Full and firm. How easily they slotted into his, how they were wet with his spit. How they danced against his, like they were always meant to do so.
How he wished he didn't need to breathe, so they could stay like this as long as they wanted.
When they eventually broke apart, he sucked in a deep breath, still strained with nervous tension. He blinked slowly, first focusing on the plump red of Karizaki's lips in front of his vision. Then the slack jaw holding them apart. Flushed skin. Heavy breathing
Then finally, his face. Karizaki slowly opened his eyes, still heavy-lidded, deep and dark, shimmering with emotion. His expression was soft, near serene, like everything in the world was right at that very moment. Then he smiled just as softly, and Hiromi thought that if he were to die from shock of this rush of emotions he felt right now, at least he'd die happy.
"Do you want to stay the night?" Karizaki asked softly.
Hiromi could almost feel his heart jump to his throat at the suggestion. While he didn't want to rush things, the way his heart raced with joy easily smothered any hesitation he still had.
"Yes," he gasped with much more enthusiasm than he had meant to, clearing his throat in embarrassment right after.
"I mean… I would… really like that," he said quietly.
Karizaki chuckled, reaching his arms around his neck and pulling him close.
"Great," he whispered with a smile, and Hiromi couldn't help but mirror his as he leaned in.
And then they kissed again.
And again,
and again,
and again.