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“You need to pay a fee.”
Shauna is barefoot on the cool shore of the lake. Winter is long melted and the warmth against her skin is so damn good it makes her want to cry. And in her arms, her miracle has finally arrived—a baby, her son, swaddled and pink and cooing in the breeze, and everything is finally perfect.
“Earth to Shipman,” the voice continues from the small boat before her. Water laps softly against the hull. “No one gets a free ride.”
Jackie sits slumped against the bow of the boat, all faux-casual in her black bathing suit, her hair wet and stringy. She has a dollop of sunscreen on her nose and a copy of Seventeen open on the bench next to her. One ear holds a pearl earring. The other is ripped clean off.
“Don’t give me that look,” she says with an eye roll before Shauna can voice her shock. “You always knew I would be here. At the end.” She gets up. “Now, can you put up, or shut up?” She holds out an open hand.
Shauna closes her eyes and holds her son closer, listening to the gurgle of his breath, smelling the powder of his skin. “We’re in the cabin. There’s a blizzard. I’m…”
“Bleeding,” Jackie says softly. “Your heart is slow. I can hear it.” She reaches out to press a hand against Shauna’s chest, and she’s so real, her skin golden-warm, her nails manicured. “We don’t have much time. Think of it as payback for all the times I bought you fries at McDonald’s. And for, y’know.” She motions towards her missing ear.
“I don’t have anything,” Shauna says, numb. Distantly, she can feel the sluggish chug of her heart, the rush of hot wetness flooding out from the core of her. She can hear Taissa and Natalie and Akilah, frantic and sobbing. She doesn’t want to be there anymore, powerless, legs open and dying slowly.
“Yes, you do,” Jackie says, and her eyes widen a little as she peers down into Shauna’s arms. “Wow. You really did it. He’s so chunky.” She tilts her head, taking in every inch of the baby, like he’s the first one she’s ever seen, or maybe the first one that’s ever mattered.
“You can’t have him,” Shauna snaps, folding the blanket over her son.
Jackie blows out a breath. “Oh, babe. I don’t have to take him. He’s already here.” She reaches up slowly, and the baby reaches back with clumsy fingers, like he’s trying to grasp at Jackie. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll call it a two-for-one. Both of you. One-time low price.”
Bitch, Shauna thinks, but she’s slipping, going back to the horrible cabin, to the smell of iron and rotten meat and unwashed bodies, to time blending and folding, to a room with no exits. She can’t imagine a way out, not with that much blood. Not with the storm raging outside.
“You’re here. Now. With me,” Jackie says, urgency slipping into her voice. Her bare feet don’t leave the boat, but she reaches further, hand outstretched, beckoning. Always beckoning like a master to a loyal dog. Shauna wants to flinch away, to finally put her foot down, but why would she, now? Now, when the sun feels like heaven on her skin, when her best friend is in front of her, when her son is safe in her arms?
Maybe this is always how it would end.
“I’m sorry,” she chokes out. Jackie’s face falls, but Shauna just shakes her head. “I left you. I let you die. I’m so sorry, Jackie. I love you so much.” Her arms feel weak with emotion. Before she can even ask, Jackie takes the baby from her with gentle hands and holds him to her chest.
“I’ll be with you every step of the way. I promise. Double pinky-swear,” Jackie says fiercely. She’s never been able to pull off severe with her big eyes and sunshine smile, but she was their captain for a reason. She won’t let Shauna fall. “Lie down with me. Look.” She motions down towards the bed of the boat.
The sight is so beautiful that Shauna laughs, wet and relieved. It looks like their bedrooms back home, or the floor of Shauna’s car. Bags of Cheetos and pork rinds, the smell of grease making Shauna’s mouth water. Ring Pops and Smarties in colorful foil wrappers like jewels. Two crisp cans of Diet Coke beading with condensation. Lying next to the feast is Jackie’s denim jacket, folded and waiting to pillow Shauna’s head.
“It’s a long ride, but it’ll be worth it. Like that trip we took to Mari’s parents’ beach house last year. We can even listen to that terrible live Hole album you like so much.” Jackie’s words are low and warm. When Shauna steps into the boat, Jackie makes space for her, settling her in the vee of her legs, the baby placed back in her arms.
“I’m tired, Jack,” she whispers. I’m scared, she thinks, but Jackie already knows. She feels suddenly weightless, suspended. “You’ll take care of us?”
Jackie’s fingers card through Shauna’s hair, nails scratching sweetly against her scalp. “You bet. You won’t be able to get rid of me now.” She even smells like home. Citrus perfume from a frosted glass bottle and gummy worms and clean, grassy sweat.
Shauna closes her eyes and lets herself drift. The boat pushes away from the shore. “Here,” she says sleepily, and reaches down the front of her shirt. “The fee. Don’t say I never gave you anything.”
The necklace, their necklace, dangles between them, glinting in the setting sun.
Jackie takes it slowly, wrapping it around her fingers. She pulls their joined hands together and presses a kiss to Shauna’s knuckles, hard and promising. Then she leans down and kisses the baby on his soft forehead.
“You’ve given me more than enough, Shipman,” she murmurs, the waves rocking them forth.