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“Do you see this shit chat?!” Zoey screams, peaking her shitty mic for the third time in ten minutes. Her audience is mostly internet friends, plus a few randos and trolls, but it gives her somewhere to channel all of her energy when her parents are too tired to listen to her anymore. Plus, they'll occasionally send a tip when she does something particularly pathetic.
Chat can not in fact see this shit, as her refurbished Steamdeck doesn’t have an OLED screen to make it bright enough to see as she waves it in front of the camera. Her hand covers most of it anyway as she jabs her finger at the offending store front. It’s already been a whole FOUR minutes since launch, and Zoey hasn’t even been able to open Steam on her Steamdeck. Or the Steamapp on her phone. Or her shitty laptop that can’t even run Oregon Trail.
“Risu said she managed to buy it on her phone browser and then download it, so why am I being punished? Homophobic I tell ya!”
vel19834 lmfao
bloodborneonpc #cancelsilksong
violetskies What do you mean homophobic? If you’re being discriminated against, that's not okay :(
sleepyshibe isn’t it like 7am there it too early to crash out
trixyatruther rip in fucking pieces my eardrums
Soulsmaster89 steam cud tell ur a fake bitch did you even beat the first game
Zoey’s eyes narrow as she skims down the chat log.
“Yes it’s 7 which is why I slept in yesterday and stayed up all night to make sure I didn’t miss it. I need to lock in to beat this game before classes start for real next week.
Fuck you too soulsmaster, I bet you played Lies of P on easy mode.”
extrooutro this is th e dark time line after all
queen_hornet SHAW!
violetskies I’m sorry, is there anything i can do? :(
mirror.message have you tried refreshing the oage ?
“Ooh Violet huh? I know what you are. And yeah you can tell Valve to use some of their child gambling money to fix their shitty website. People want to play the most wishlisted game in Steam’s history, fork found in drawer,” Zoey mocks, throwing up her hands to take a spin in her chair. “Please I just want to be a bug.”
bloodborneonpc you played crab souls that’s basically being a bug
Zoey leans forward to make a loud raspberry sound at her camera. Peak number four. She should start a corner counter or something, if she ever has time to go back into her overlays.
“Bzzzzt, incorrect! But points for trying. Another Crab’s Treasure was great, and I’ll definitely do that gun any% speedrun but bugs don’t actually even exist scientifically, kind of like vegetables so I guess in a way that’s my bad. Sharing a common ancestor doesn’t make Kril a bug, and I want to play as my beautiful princess with a disorder, Hornet.
queen_hornet SHAW!
mirror.message the head of engineering at valve says its a “serve” issue?
trixyatruther lmao the horrors are unending but you’ve got to serve
“Do you mean server? Wait, the head engineer of what?”
violetskies how much is a server
violetskies How do I verify my account? I want to gift it to you but steam is holding it up for suspicious activity when i tried to send a gift card
untitledgaygame i cant tell if this is a bit or if theyre both really stupid
mirror.message fuck middle men, who’s the manufactuer? They have to have a copy right?
“mirror.message, please don’t harass Team Cherry. They didn’t even have preorders for the digital version, physical deluxes definitely aren’t coming for a while.”
mirror.message what?then how do they know how many to make?
trixyatruther @ untitledgaygame just stupid it turns out
“Hey don’t be mean! They’re just trying to help. Besides, if there were preorders and predownloads, this definitely wouldn’t have happened so they’re not wrong.”
Zoey yelps when she looks down to see that the sad looking blob monster that’d been giving her error messages has disappeared, giving way to the Steam Store with a large banner that said Silksong Out Now! “Out now? Good for her.”
queen_hornet shaw 🏳️🌈
violetskies Wait so is someone being homophobic or not?
vel19834 woah look at the ipad baby go
“I’m not an iPad baby, I’m just multitasking. It has to let me enter my credit card information in one of these damn browsers. Isn’t capitalism good for anything?”
mirror.message do you need to borrow my card
violetskies I can also give you my card if you need it Zoey :)
“Haha, I wish guys. I don’t think the card is the problem, it’s still just too many people on Steam.
trixyatruther no let them cook
untitledgaygame yeah type it in chat, and make sure you get the 3 digits at the back
“Oh my god do not do that.” Zoey makes an X with her arms. “Seriously, just sub to me on Twitch or something.”
violetskies Okay, how do I do that? :)
mirror.message lol i dont sub
sleepyshibe [Link] Subscribe for one month
violetskies has subscribed for one month
violetskies has subscribed for one month
violetskies has subscribed for one month
violetskies has subscribed for one month
violetskies has subscribed for one month
violetskies has subscribed for one month
violetskies Is it working?
mirror.message has gifted ten one month subs
violetskies How do I do that? I want to give you a gift.
mirror.message too bad
mirror.message has gifted ten one month subs
mirror.message has gifted twenty one month subs
violetskies has subscribed for one month
violetskies has subscribed for one month
violetskies has subscribed for one month
violetskies has subscribed for one month
bloodborneonpc everyone shut the fuck up my friend just said they got through
queen_hornet 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
“Wait really?” Zoey stops staring at her Twitch dashboard and looks down into her lap. She starts methodically deleting the seven copies of Silksong she’s managed to add from various devices, holding her breath as the Proceed to Payment button turns blue.
“Yes!” she shrieks, holding her phone up to the camera, where a receipt for Silksong, along with her zip code and the last four digits of her card are visible on screen. “Now just to download…”
The stream goes black for a second, before reloading in. This time Zoey’s facecam is much smaller in the upper right corner, and the option to start a new game is blinking slowly on screen.
“Hacker voice. I’m in.”
untitledgaygame Lmao did you say hacker voice out loud
sleepyshibe Oh no she’s cringe
trixyatruther yeah welcome to the channel have you been listening to anything she says
“There she is! My wife!! Shh chat, SHHH.” The stream is quiet except for the music accompanying the opening cut scene and the barely audible clicking of Zoey pressing B on her controller, itching to take over.
Hornet takes a few tentative steps on screen and cuts through some vines. She hops in place and then starts swinging her needle wildly at a little bush monster. Everything is going well until she jumps up and lands directly on the little creature, sending her back to the start.
“Oh right… No double jumps yet.”
Celine takes a deep breath before picking the phone up. She was supposed to be the fun aunt, dammit. Not the CEO tiger mom who absolutely had to tell Rumi to stop trying to link her company card to some sketchy American “skin” website. She’d hoped Rumi would just give up when it asked for two factor authentication, but the multiple confirmation codes in her inbox proved that she’d at the very least inherited her mother’s stubbornness.