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at the dinner, sion was sending some silly texts in his bubble, as usual. the unusual thing was – yushi’s phone kept buzzing with notifs, and he pretended like he did not hear it at all. sure, he wasn’t the texter, but what if it was something important? not like it bothered sion. really.
but sion could bet all his jagarico reserves, that he saw blush creeping yushi’s cheeks up, when he finally checked his phone. in sion’s head a theory was born, but he has to prove it yet.
since the very launch of their own bubble, sion was trying the features here and there: sending texts and voice messages, videos or even making the polls. but the key element of it all was the photos. something that fans could go crazy about. the concept for it was as simple as possible: soft, cozy, boyfriend-like. most of the time it was random photos of food – which was taken not in the best way, but he still tried – and the days he was extremely feeling himself he would send a selfie or two.
you know, just to boost his confidence a little, reading all the replies and words of affirmation from the fans. sometimes, when some of the pics would go viral on the twitter, members would even bring them up, just briefly. “dude,” riku's voice cuts through in the car when they’re heading back home after another schedule. sion turns back to the passenger seats. riku scrolls something on his phone and then shoves it right to sion’s face, one of his bubble selfies popping up on the screen, “who are you trying to seduce with this? gay men?” his question caught sion off guard, but he drifts his head in yushi’s direction right away, just a little. he wasn’t paying attention to their conversation, looking somewhere through the window as they cross the bridge. he turns back to riku, trying to laugh that off, “well... is it working?” riku huffs at that, “not really. you look like a kicked puppy. but that could work too, in some rare cases.” sion shrugs and gets back to his seat, but he can feel a pair of eyes behind him, watching, waiting.
the thing is: sion notices. he is so painfully aware of his surroundings, that he could sense even the tiniest change in atmosphere. most of the times, being a leader, it helped him a lot. resolving the tension in the group so a flame didn’t grow into a forest fire, making people laugh in the right timings. but when it comes to yushi, his senses sharpened ten times more. which didn’t make it easier either since yushi wasn’t fond of such conversations. sion loved doing the talking but he couldn’t read yushi’s mind after all.
when coincidences started to look more like patterns and shy glances lingered, leaving the weird tension after, sion decided he had to do something about it. straight up confronting yushi about it wasn’t the solution (and it’s not like he had any kind of problem with the whole situation). so, instead of words, sion wants to play a little, too.
it started off innocently: some puppy-eyed-sion-special before going to bed and wishing fans a good night; mirror selfie where you could see a bit of bare arms peeking; post-stage selca where he is drenched in sweat. nothing sion wouldn’t post on a random tuesday, really. the only exception was that it was pretty much targeted towards someone.
when he started his thirst trap selcas marathon, he noticed yushi was avoiding eye contact with him more than usual, turning away as soon as they locked eyes, making himself look busy. sure, it could not have a correlation at all, but he liked the way he made yushi feel. and each day he grew even more convinced that yushi has his bubble subscription, or keeps a track with his updates in the very least. but why would he silently fanboy over his groupmate instead of… using his own eyes to see it all?
things escalated when they were doing some broadcast with fans, and sion was talking about comeback preparations and choreography videos. “it sounds familiar… have you mentioned this before?” says yushi suddenly, his brows slightly furrowed. “me?” sion asks, surprised. “i think i talked about this in bubble before.” sudden realization hits sion as a smile creeps on his face: “ushi, do you read my bubble?” the room bursts with giggles and teasings. “what? no… i’m pretty sure you talked about it the other day,” yushi tries to shrug off, but damage has been done as members keep on teasing him about liking their leader a bit too much. “okay, okay, guys, let’s move on,” says sion, still quietly amused with discovering new information.
honestly, this very information somehow altered chemistry of his brain. his selca game became bolder, he started discovering new poses and angles – everything just to get any kind of reaction from his yushi. just as he hits the send button, he immediately turns to look at yushi. he really enjoyed seeing his slightly panicked eyes as he looked around himself, his ears colored bright red. and maybe he enjoyed it in a not very healthy way.
one of the nights after a long schedule he couldn’t sleep, and he was aware yushi was awake too. some mischievousness leads him to open lysn app. “jagiya… i can’t sleep… were you thinking about me? me too.” he giggles at himself sending a couple of messages, hoping he won’t wake other fans from their sleep at such hour. he then opened his camera, propping it a bit higher so his lower body could be seen. he looked right into the camera and pouted his lips. click. he sent it to bubble without giving it a second thought, wishing some good nights with kissy face emojis.
fully satisfied, he was going to turn his phone off and go to sleep, but he saw a notification popping up.
ushi
hyung…
o.s.o
hm? what is it, ushi-ya?
ushi
if you don’t stop doing this thing i don’t know if i’ll be able to hold myself
o.s.o
hmm? what thing?
ushi
well, you should know…
o.s.o
well, you should know that I don’t want you to hold back ;)
mark as read. yushi started typing something a couple of times, but didn’t send anything.
i fucked up. i overstepped. it was stupid thing to do even from the start. yushi probably hates me now. i should apologize in the morning. or just bury myself.
a soft knock on the door stopped his thought train from spiraling.
could it be saku or ryo? are they having trouble sleeping too?
he doesn’t get to say anything when the door creaks open and a fluffy blonde head enters the room before the person themselves.
oh.
“ushi? what are you doing here?” sion asks, standing up from his bed. “right… sorry, i should go” yushi murmurs – sion’s ears barely registered a sound of his voice – and turns around on his heels when sion stops him, holding his wrist. he loosens his grip not to startle him, but his hand is still here, a thumb grazing across his soft skin. “i wasn’t telling you to go. wanna talk?” he leads them to his bed, making yushi seat on the edge of it, as he sets himself up on the chair next to it.
“i know that you know that i… you know… you’re very mean, hyung” all yushi proceeds to say before turning away, embarrassed. “what?! what do you mean? did you come here in the middle of the night just to insult me like that, ushi?” sion is taken aback, honestly. this is the last thing he expected to hear tonight.
“i mean… you’re not a bad person, it’s just me… i shouldn’t be doing all this and subscribing to your… well, you know. but it’s torturing when i know i can’t have that.”
now sion is just shocked, to say the least. he doesn’t even know where to start, he didn’t know what yushi thought about their one-sided game. but one thing he knew: he didn’t want to hurt him by that.
“ushi-ya… god, i’m just stupid. you shouldn’t be ashamed of… you know… wanting. i should have been clear instead of playing with your feelings. in fact, i wasn’t planning on torturing you. it was an invitation, if you could say so.” sion was now on his knees in front of the bed, holding yushi gently by his hands. he might look silly but it didn’t matter.
“are you serious? i thought it was some kind of joke… i felt so exposed every time i caught you looking at me.” there was a hesitance in yushi’s voice.
“yushi… i’m deeply sorry for making you feel like that. i could never lie to you or play some cruel jokes. i care for you, a lot. and before you say anything else… i care for you not as just your friend or member.” he looks in yushi’s eyes now, trying to give him some sort of reassurance. he smiles fondly as yushi softly nods.
“am i really allowed to have you? just like that?” yushi pouts as mumbling his words. he really is adorable. how could sion wait so long for this to happen, wasting so much of their precious time?
“ushi, i don’t even remember the days when i wasn’t yours.” sion says as he stands up to properly hug him now. he can’t contain it anymore, he needs to express his love for this boy with his whole body. there is no way back now.