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Bluudud had been waiting for this day for ages, the day where he'd finally capture his beloved Guest 1337 and marry him. Sure, it was a bit unconventional for a thirteen year old boy to be marrying a grown soldier in the military that had a wife and kids, but he can do what he wants! He's a killer with a massive following on his streaming platform anyway. Not like his mom would beat the shit out of him for this.
Dressed in a flowing white veil and long, train, corseted white wedding dress paired with gloves, Bluudud held onto Guest 1337's shoulders tightly, a tear of joy falling from his eye. Guest 1337 was looking down at the tape over his mouth, processing the situation. He began to glance between the tape and Bluudud's face, beginning to let out panicked noises.
Bluudud; "Oh, Guest 1337, I can't believe we're getting married! It's been so long, and finally we can be together forever!!"
Guest 1337; "MPPPPH- MMMM?!?!?"
Bluudud placed a white-gloved finger on Guest 1337's lips as he shushed him, slowly sliding it down and off his chin, trying to get the tied up and gagged soldier to shut the fuck up.
Bluudud; "Shh, shh sweetie, the kids have been waiting at home all day for their daddy."
Guest 1337 began to make more panicked and frantic noises, trying to get someone, anyone's attention in hopes that they could stop this whole fiasco and get this delusional mess of a thirteen year old boy at a minimum of 50km away from him.
C00lkidd (who was forced into being the priest despite being ten), spoke in his glitchy and young sounding voice, clearly disinterested in whatever was going on, especially since him and Bluudud never got along. Why was he even at this place, doing this for him? He was so, SO bored. He was going to light someplace on fire after this for his own entertainment. C00lkidd squinted at the paper as he read out his lines.
C00lkidd; "Guest 1337, do you take Bluudud to be your lawfully wedded.. wife...?
Guest 1337 responded with a loud protest through the tape over his mouth, shouting muffled noises of bewilderment, shock, and slight disgust all at once.
Guest 1337; "MPPPPPPPPPPHHHHH- MM-MM-"
Guest 1337 shook his head frantically, praying that there would be a way out of this mess sooner or later. C00lkidd just stood there, deadpanning as he stared off into the distance, sighing before continuing on, turning to look at Bluudud. He spoke up tiredly, already tired of being here.
C00lkidd; "And Bluudud, do you take Guest 1337 to be your lawfully-"
Bluudud: "I DO, I DO, I DO!!!!"
C00lkid was quiet for a bit, then just left to go destroy Builder Brothers Pizza again. (pray for elliot-)
Bluudud hugged Guest 1337 tight, the young boy sniffling and tearing up out of pure unbridled joy. He giggled whilst Guest 1337 grimaced, taking him out of the venue and bringing him to his home, somehow managing to hide a whole grown ass man from his mom.
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fifty or so minutes later wowie wowza wowowowowowwowwow
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Guest 1337, now having managed to have gotten untied from his binds, escaped from the home and went straight to a judge. He came back, having something to say to Bluudud about all of this.
Guest 1337; "...We're getting a divorce."
Guest 1337 then shoved the papers into Bluudud's chest, having already signed them himself. Bluudud stared at the papers in shock, eyes wide and his usual giant smile gone. Guest 1337 left the first chance he got, not wanting to deal with this bullshit anymore. He has a family goddamnit, and he wanted to leave this fever dream of a day behind.
Soon after Guest 1337 left, Bluudud was sobbing, filling the room with tears as C00lkidd handed him tissues he blew his nose with, grimacing at the way Bluudud was reacting to the situation. He attempted to offer half-assed comfort, only to have his voice drowned out by Bluudud's loud sobbing. Eventually the crying stopped, coming to a sniffle–and C00lkidd left, leaving Bluudud on his own to deal with his shit. Bluudud never got over the divorce.