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Imagine that you are eleven years old and it’s Halloween.
You’re not too old for trick or treat - in fact, this is just the right age for it to be fun. You’re old enough to be trusted to run around the neighborhood with your friends and go trick or treating. You get the safety lecture from your Ma, chapter and verse. Don’t eat anything if you can’t tell what it is - there’s all these posts going around on Tumblr right now about weird candy looking things that are actually drugs and there’s always those old stories about razors in apples and poison in Pixy Stix.
You know how to Google. The Pixy Stix douchecanoe was really a guy who wanted to kill his own kid for the life insurance money but parents will still freak out anyway. So you nod and say “Yes, Ma” and you promise over and over that you won’t do anything stupid. You will be careful.
And after that, you can all go back to the all important business of making your costumes.
It’s gonna be special this year.
Your entire group’s going as the Howling Commandos. Which is pretty freakin’ awesome, since you’re all, technically speaking, their great-grandkids. Except for little Sophie, because Bucky Barnes is actually her great-great-uncle. But Gabe Jones is your Great-Grandpappy and he’s still around, getting close to a hundred years. He got to laughing when he heard you were going to go as him.
“Never mind if you’re a girl, sweet pea - Agent Carter was a lady and she’s a Commando too. Don’t let ‘em tell you different.”
So that’s why baby Sophie is going as her Great Uncle Bucky. Her Ma even got her hair to look all slicked up like Bucky’s in his pictures and she’s even got a tiny version of that famous blue peacoat.
Tim’s got his Great-Grandpop’s famous bowler hat on and Jackie’s got some stuff that you’re hoping are just firecrackers, plus his hockey stick. He’s already chomping on something that looks like dynamite but is really candy. Katie’s got what looks like a version of her Grandpa Jim’s medkit (on closer inspection, she’s even got band-aids and clean wipes in there). Neville’s doing an exaggerated English accent…. except he’s beginning to sound more like Captain Jack Sparrow than his Great-Grandpa Monty.
You take Sophie’s hand in your own - she’s the baby of your group but all of you dote on her because she’s pretty cute and easy to look after. Your Ma reminds you to be careful with Sophie - for the nth time.
And then, you’re off.
Sure enough, it’s a blast - you guys get a lot of compliments on your costumes, along with your candy and okay, maybe Sophie lisping “trick or treat” and beaming all sunny and bright kinda helped with the cute factor. So you guys got extra candy.
The Power of Sophie compels you.
And it was all going great until you run into Buddy Langton and his asshole friends. Of course, Buddy wants you guys to give over a share of the candy and says “girls can’t be Howling Commandos.”
The thing is, the toy gun that Sophie’s carrying is a water gun.
And maybe she’s five years old but there’s nothing wrong with her aim.
Tim grabs Sophie after you guys let Buddy and his friends have it with your own water guns and you run.
“WA-HOO!!!!!” Tim and Sophie holler.
So the obvious problem here is that a five year old can only run so fast with a bunch of older kids. And you guys can take a beating from Buddy but he’s precisely the kind of jerkass who’d hit a kid who’s even littler than he is. No way are any of you gonna let him get his grubby paws on your baby.
“We gotta find someplace to hide,” You gasp, already feeling a stitch in your side.
“Tree!” Jackie points.
All of you sprint for it. Buddy and his crew are just a few minutes behind you. If all of you can make it to the tree, you can be up and safely hidden while they run on past.
Neville’s the tallest so he’s definitely going to be boosting Sophie up first….
Except someone with a metal arm deftly plucks her out of Neville’s grasp.
Holy shit!
You’re mentally apologizing to your Ma for the language but metal arm and that is the Winter Soldier sitting up in the tree.
“What are you waiting for?” He asks, impatiently. “Get a leg up!” He reaches for Katie’s hand, next.
Sophie’s staring at him in fascination.
No time to lose – it’s either the apparently friendly sniper assassin or Buddy’s pals and Sophie’s already up there. So all of you accept the help and Jackie barely makes it up safely when Buddy and his friends run screaming curse words and threats right below.
You put your hand over Tim’s mouth to help him stifle a sneeze.
When they’re gone, all of you join Sophie in staring at your unexpected savior.
But of course, Sophie pipes up first, “You’re my Great Uncle Bucky!”
Wait.
What?
The Soldier blinks. “Is that so?”
Sophie nods. “My great grandma’s name is Becca! She told me all about you!”
The Soldier’s expression visibly softens. “You.... you do look like your grandma when she was little.”
Sophie sniffs. “I’m s’posed to be you for Halloween! And everybody else is being their great-grandpa’s.”
The Soldier takes in your costumes and there’s definitely a smile trying to break loose there. You wave, a little sheepishly. “We’re the Howling Commandos.”
“Wa-hoo?” Tim offers.
“Oh my God,” the Soldier – actual Bucky Barnes – groans. “Somebody actually married Dum Dum?”
“HEY!”
“Hold up,” Katie interrupts. “I mean, thanks for saving us from the goon squad and all but… um… what are you doing up in this tree?”
Barnes actually blushes. “I….”
The tree all of you are hiding in is just in front of this nice little house and your conversation is interrupted by a bunch of kids yelling “Trick or Treat” at its front door.
The door opens.
It’s Captain America.
He smiles and greets the kids and hands out candy and says nice things about their costumes. And the entire time, Barnes is watching him with the same kind of goofy look on his face that your Dad has when he looks at your Mom sometimes. You know that look. It’s the kind of thing that makes you yell, “Ewwww!” because kissing and love and all that gooey stuff, but it makes you feel all warm and good anyway because it is love and all that gooey stuff.
Well, that explains things.
And after Cap’s done handing the candy out to the kids and sending them on their way, he looks up and you’re prepared to swear he’s looking right at you.
Except this isn’t one of your frail-looking city trees. It’s a pretty old, sturdy tree with lots of branches and thick with leaves. He shouldn’t be able to see a thing.
Cap walks towards the tree and all of you are holding your collective breath and stay very, very still. He comes underneath the branches but he’s not looking up.
Instead, he just says, “Hey, Buck. You wanna come down from there anytime soon?”
Barnes sounds affronted. “Did you know I was up here the entire time?”
“Since the minute you settled in to watch over me for tonight. Come on down – you and the Howlies. We got some bullies who need to be taught a lesson, right?” Finally, Captain America looks up at all of you and there’s this mischievous grin on his face and suddenly you completely understand why Grandpappy Gabe and your other great uncles decided to follow him to “hell and back” – as Great Uncle Dum Dum put it.
Sophie puts her hands up. “WA-HOO!!!!”
Barnes facepalms. “Sophie, baby doll, that’s not the way to deal with your Captain and his cockamamie plans. The first thing you always say is, ‘Steve, no.’ ”
Sophie beams. “STEVE, YES!”
“Oh my God…”
Operation: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is planned by Captain America and carried out by the Howling Commandos. Since Katie and Jackie are the fastest runners, they lead Buddy and his goon squad away from trying to bully another set of kids out of their candy and straight into an ambush.
Sophie and Great Uncle Bucky are deadly with their water guns and silly string.
You, Tim and Neville finish the job with toilet paper.
But of course, Buddy’s not one to stay down, even while the rest of his friends run away. He picks up a rock and throws it – straight for Sophie.
The rock pings off Captain America’s shield and he looks up in frightened awe at the full disapproval of Cap himself.
“Son,” he says in this quiet, awful voice. “I don’t like bullies. I don’t care where they’re from. You should be going on home to your mother.”
Buddy’s got snot running down his nose and it’s gross. “My Ma’s not gonna care about shit. She’s got work tonight. There’s nobody home. Nobody’s ever home.”
We all look at each other.
Neville tears off a piece of toilet paper and hands it to Buddy.
And Cap gently puts a hand on his shoulder, “Maybe you can start by apologizing to Sophie.”
Amazingly, Buddy does.
So your Halloween evening ends with Cap calling all your parents to let them know where all of you are and you settle in to watch scary movies and eat your candy and popcorn. And you find out that Buddy’s not a complete jerk and his Ma’s actually not bad but money’s hard to come by and you end up noticing that Buddy’s sneakers are dirty and worn down and his clothes are too big and look like hand me downs.
You pass him one of your Snickers bars, because he’s apologized to all of you and you’re still a little wary of him but maybe after tonight, things will change. If only a little bit.
(They do. Because the next day, you see Buddy in school and there’s nods of respect there and later on, you see that Jackie’s trying to teach him street hockey and he’s joining your team. He makes for a great goalie.)
But tonight, all of you are with Captain America and Bucky Barnes who laugh and tease each other and all of you and it’s just awesome.
Of course, Sophie has the last word because she asks to get the phone from Cap while he’s talking to Sophie’s Mom. “Mommy! Uncle Bucky looks like Snow White if Snow White was a boy!”
Yep, she’s responsible for ‘Uncle Bucky’s’ second epic facepalm of the night.
Cap’s definitely not going to let him live this down.
The Power of Sophie compels you indeed!
-end-