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When Greg had agreed to raise money for charity by promising that he would spend one second per thousand pounds kissing Alex Horne, he had never expected to see such a high number as their end result.
“Sixty thousand pounds?” he asked Alex incredulously.
Alex nodded at him seriously, a slight frown on his face. “That’s a whole minute, Greg.”
Greg scruffed a large hand down his face, knocking his glasses askew.
“I mean, I’ll do it, it’s for a good cause, but Jesus Christ. People really are keen on seeing us having a snog, aren’t they?”
Alex shrugged his shoulders, his face seemingly blank. “I suppose so.”
“Well, I guess we better give the people what they want,” Greg sighed. “Time and place?”
Alex gave him the details – Greg jotted them down on his mobile – and they were all set. Greg definitely did not spend the next few days ruminating on what kissing Alex Horne for an entire minute would feel like.
Nope, not at all.
—
The day came, and Greg met Alex at the Taskmaster House. The Andys had determined that it would be the best location “for the socials.” Nervous, Greg wiped his clammy hands on his trousers before he turned off his car and opened the driver side door.
Alex was already there, waiting outside of the front door of the house and speaking with Andy Devonshire, who had brought along his fancy camera and recording equipment. There was a boom and everything, which Greg thought was quite unnecessary. He smiled stiffly at Alex and Andy, trying to hide his anxiety. He took a deep breath through his nose, in and out.
“Alright?” he greeted them as he approached.
Was there something about the golden light of the afternoon that made Alex’s hair glow like the embers of a fire? Probably best not to think about it too much.
“Right, I’m ready when you two are. Just… act natural?” Andy said, grinning. “Or at least as natural as you can, given the circumstances.”
Alex giggled, hiding his smile behind a long index finger. Andy hoisted the camera with attached boom onto his shoulder, pressing a button and giving them the thumbs up.
“Hello!” Alex chirped to the camera. “I’m Little Alex Horne, and this is the Taskmaster.” He gestured reverently to Greg, who kept his expression neutral, if not a little grumpy. “Thank you so much to everyone who donated for this charity event. We’ve raised…” A pause for effect, complete with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. “Sixty thousand pounds!” A big, open mouth, full of joy and surprise. “Well done you! As a celebration – and as promised – Greg and I will be, erm… kissing… for sixty seconds.” Seemingly out of nowhere, Alex whipped out his iPad with a preset 60 seconds on its face and turned it to face the camera. “Our time… starts… now!” He tapped the screen of the iPad and immediately turned to Greg. There were no seconds to waste.
Alex stood on his tiptoes and nearly overbalanced into Greg, their faces smushing together awkwardly. Greg reached out his hands and set them on Alex’s shoulders, steadying him. He bent his neck so Alex didn’t have to stay on tiptoes, and settled Alex back down to the ground. The first few seconds had already passed, and Greg hadn’t even had time to register that he was kissing Alex… properly.
Alex’s lips were soft and thin, surrounded by bristly beard hair that tickled Greg’s upper lip. Greg could feel Alex pucker his lips, kissing into the kiss, and Greg returned it automatically, pushing forward into Alex and feeling their lips press completely together. He squeezed Alex’s shoulders, unsure of how much time had gone by. He prayed that the iPad would beep or something when their time was up, but for now all he had to focus on was kissing Alex Horne.
Greg pulled back just enough to go back in for another kiss, his mouth a bit more open this time, enveloping Alex’s lips with his own, tasting the sweetness of Alex’s mouth, wondering whether he was allowed to use tongue. Alex made the decision for him, his tongue poking gently at Greg’s open lips. Greg opened wider for him, and slid his own tongue into Alex’s mouth. They’d already gone this far, so they might as well give the people a show.
Once again, Greg pulled back, this time diving back in with obvious tongue that the camera would be able to capture. A soft murmur of a moan came from Alex, which Greg desperately hoped the boom would pick up. Greg’s fingers squeezed lightly at Alex’s shoulders, keeping him steady, keeping him there. How many seconds had passed? How many were still left?
Greg leaned into the kiss, taking charge, pushing Alex’s head backward by just a bit with the pressure of his mouth. Alex’s lips were so soft. And he tasted like… well, nothing, really, but somehow he tasted so good at the same time. Greg’s tongue pressed against Alex’s, and he felt the warm wetness press back against his own. Tentatively, Alex pushed the tip of his tongue into Greg’s mouth, their lips parting to give the camera a good view. Greg pounced on the chance and wrapped his lips around Alex’s tongue, sucking it into his mouth and memorizing every bit of it that he could.
The thick, wet muscle of Alex’s tongue squirmed against Greg’s as Greg sucked. Alex whimpered and surged forward, wrapping his arms around Greg’s shoulders. Greg felt the bulk of the iPad bump against his shoulderbone. Greg’s hands were knocked away from Alex’s shoulders by the movement, so he slid them down to wrap around Alex’s chest in a tight hug.
Greg felt the way his chin was doubling up against Alex’s insistent pressure, kissing him around his tongue still stuck in Greg’s mouth. He felt the hot damp breath from Alex’s mouth caress his lips. He breathed with Alex, finally releasing his tongue to go back to a proper kiss. Lips on lips, beards scratching together, pulling Alex even tighter against him, feeling Alex’s fingers scrabble on the back of his jacket, right below his neck.
Beep beep beep.
It was the worst sound Greg had heard in his entire life. He didn’t want this to end. Had it really been a whole minute? It had felt like a mere moment. It had felt like eternity.
Hesitantly, Alex pulled away, Greg’s saliva glistening on his red lips. His pupils were blown out as he looked at Greg. They were still wrapped in each other’s arms, and they stepped away awkwardly. Alex brought the iPad up to silence the beeping alarm and, dazed, looked back toward the camera.
“Well…” he said, his voice breaking. He cleared his throat. “Thanks again for the donations. Erm, bye!”
Alex held up his free hand to wave at the camera. Greg stood there, baffled by what had just happened. Andy pushed a button on his camera and shifted it off of his shoulders.
“I think we got it!” he declared happily. “Unless you want another take?”
“No thank you!” Alex nearly shouted, at the same time that Greg said, “Not a chance.”
Andy chuckled and shook his head, as if there was no helping the two men. He walked away to pack up his equipment, and Greg turned to Alex.
“That was–”
“So, um…”
“Sorry,” Greg chuckled, running his hand down the back of his neck. “You go.”
“No, I’m…” Alex seemed lost for words. Then, “That was nice.” Quiet. Almost a whisper.
“No cameras in the house, right?” Greg said, lowering his voice to match Alex’s.
Alex shook his head slowly, his eyebrows downturned in a look of confusion.
“Good.” Greg grabbed Alex’s hand and began marching them both toward the front door of the house with purpose. He swung it open and they stepped inside.
“I’m going to need more than a minute,” Greg said, and closed the door behind them.