Actions

Work Header

Bittersweet Tragedy

Summary:

Reader feels guilty after a hunt goes wrong, and Castiel wants to cheer them up.

Notes:

This fic is what blacking out looks like. I started writing and ended up with this. I have no idea what I was trying to go for, so let me know if you really do like this. This is longer than other fics I have written/posted, so I guess that is it's redeeming quality. Happy reading.

Work Text:

The sound of the tires of the impala on the road filled the silence in the car. Every couple of minutes the fabric of someone's clothes rustled as they adjusted in their seat.

 

The reason for the silence in the car: the hunt didn't go as planned.

 

You, Castiel, and the Winchesters thought you did everything right, but you got there too late in the end. Sam ended up salting and burning the vengeful spirit that the four of you had hunted, but not before it claimed another victim.

 

Hunts like this always left you feeling bittersweet. Hunts like this are why you ended up becoming a hunter, and sticking with the Winchesters in the first place.

 

It had been 5 years, coming up on 6, since your own brother had been killed by a vengeful spirit. At least, that's what you found out it was after dealing with a few yourself. When it had first happened, Sam and Dean showed up. The brothers posed as FBI agents and asked about another "unusual" death that had occurred just a week before. The night your brother died, he had called and told you that he was going to the abandoned house that the previous death had happened at.

 

"I'll text you to come and get me if I see a ghost." He had joked, and he kept his word.

 

Later into the night, he really did tell you to come pick him up. You had arrived just before the Winchesters did, and soon enough to see your brother's body.

 

You don't remember much after that point, except for Sam and Dean sitting you down to explain what had happened, and who they really were. Dean specifically, had protested when you said you would start hunting with them, but you were too determined to help as many people as you could from going through the same thing.

 

You turned your head to look at the angel sitting next to you in the backseat, wiping away some tears that must have fallen down your cheeks when you thought of your brother. Castiel had entered the picture about two years back. Since then, you couldn't help but gain a small crush on him. You figured it was just proximity attraction, but it started to be the little things he did. His loyalty, his strength, and that damn jawline…

 

You snapped out of your thoughts when the impala came to a stop, and the lights of the motel somewhat illuminated the interior of the vehicle. The four of you got out of the impala, and headed for your respective motel rooms. Once you shut the door to your room, you set your bag on the floor by the TV.

 

You sat on the edge of your bed, trying not to let this case really mess with your head, when you heard the tell-tale whoosh that you had become so familiar with. Looking up from the floor, Castiel is standing in front of you.

 

"Hello, Y/n," He greeted once you looked up at him. "Are you feeling alright? Sam told me to come check on you."

 

You smiled slightly, wiping a single tear from your cheek. "I'm fine, Cas. It's too much to get into right now. I'd rather tell you some other time.

 

Castiel exhaled, sitting down next to you on the bed. "I have the time, Y/n. I know it may not seem like it, but I have begun to care for you. And the Winchesters, of course.. But more than I did when it was just my assignment." His hands were folded neatly in his lap as he looked down at them.

 

What was this? Castiel seemed almost timid. He was never one to avoid eye contact this desperately. Usually, you figured out after having been through so much with him, he would maintain eye contact to show that he cared, that he was serious.

 

No. It's just late, and you're tired. Even if he constantly makes eye contact with any person he talks to, this is still normal.. right?

 

"I know you have the time, but I don't. I have to wash all of this sweat and dirt off of me, and then go to bed so I can be rested for the next hunt. I'm sorry, Cas." You dismissed. The bed creaked quietly as you stood up and walked over to your duffel bag.

 

"I already know why. And Sam didn't ask me to comfort you.. I could tell that you were upset earlier. I may not be the most emotional, but I care, Y/n." Castiel stood up, making you stop dead in your tracks.

 

"Is there anything that I can do to make you feel better? Dean has already complained about the lack of alcohol that this motel has. I can get some, if you'd like."

 

You smiled, of course Dean would say that. "No, I don't need any alcohol. I need to work through this, to talk about it. Or a hug.. just something."

 

He stayed silent for a moment, watching as you walked around him to lay on the motel bed. As appealing as the thought of a hot shower was, you sat with your back against the headboard.

 

"I can do that, Y/n. Whatever you need." Castiel was starting to push. Why was he acting like this?

 

You stood up from the bed so he could hug you properly. His shoes thudded on the floor as he walked over to you. Just as soon as he was in front of you, Castiel's arms were around your midsection. He sighed as he buried his head in the space between your neck and shoulder. You draped your arms over his shoulders and slipped your hand into his hair, near the nape of his neck.

 

The hug lasted for a good few minutes as you lost yourself in the grounding feeling of his touch. You realized that you were no longer crying, and so did he. Castiel finally let go, taking the smallest step back to see your entire expression better.

 

"That seemed to help. What is it about physical touch that is so helpful to calming humans? I enjoyed hugging you, but why did it make you stop crying?" His eyebrows knitted together in the way they always did when Castiel asked questions, and you knew exactly why him hugging you had affected you the way it did.

 

You grabbed his hand and walked backwards to sit on the edge of the motel bed. "For me, at least, it's nice to know that someone is there. Within reach."

 

It was nearly 2 in the morning, and the time was catching up to you. You sat down and looked up at Castiel, gazing into his eyes as he stood in front of you. His fingers were still loosely holding onto your hand as you rested it on your knee.

 

The silence in the room was broken by your yawn and -as much as you like Castiel being here and giving you this attention- you needed to rest up after the hunt.

 

"Hey, Cas.. It's getting late so I'm going to sleep." You stood up, stepping to the side to get past him. He didn't let go of your hand until it hindered you from walking over to your bag. As you faced away from him, you couldn't help but grin widely at the whole situation. He had been touchier than usual.

 

You took your pajamas out of your bag and went into the bathroom to change. You brushed your teeth and headed out of the bathroom, only to see Castiel sitting on the motel bed. His back was against the headboard and he turned to look at you once the door opened.

 

"You don't have to stay, Cas. I'm more than fine being on my own."

 

"I know, but I want to stay."

 

You sighed, putting your dirty clothes near your bag. A visit to a laundromat would probably be made before you and the boys left town. Castiel still sat there, watching you as you moved around the room. Curiosity was starting to get the better of you. Why is he so fixed on sticking around? Typically, once the hunt was over, Cas would just leave and do whatever it is that angels do in their down time. You had decided to not ask about it though. If he was willing to stay and hold your hand.. that was a win in your book.

 

The room had looked alright, you decided, and you walked over to get into bed. Castiel seemed perfectly content with watching you pick up after yourself. He shuffled over as you lifted up the comforter that he was sitting on top of. Leaving a lamp on, you got into bed and faced the opposite side that Castiel was sitting on.

 

After a few minutes, you were dozing off. You had always been able to fall asleep quickly. As you felt yourself just on the brink of sleep, you felt your hair being played with. Subconsciously, you leaned your head back into the touch. It took a while for you to really realize what was going on, but by that point you had scooted closer to Castiel and laid your head on his legs.

 

"I love you, Y/n" was the last thing you heard before you fell asleep.