Work Text:
“If God is all good, he cannot be all powerful. And if God is all-powerful, he cannot be all good. And neither can you be.”
“Woah, woah,” said Superman, who was feeling very uncomfortable. “I am not a god. I mean, jeez, I go to church with my Ma every Sunday. I’m a born-again believer.”
“Aren’t you friends with a goddess?” Luther asked.
“Lois?”
“Wha—no Wonder Woman.”
“Oh. She’s definitely a very beautiful woman, but I’m taken.”
“You’re an alien from outer space, more powerful than anyone on this planet. The big man in the sky—“
“You know that’s a metaphor, right? God’s not literally in the sky; he’s in heaven. Do you think I’m a god just because I can fly? Because it’s not like Jesus ever flew anywhere. That’s a weird metric; you could consider pigeons gods.”
“You are worshipped by your tribe! Your people see you as holy, untouchable, but I’ll prove them all wrong.”
“Okay, I’ve got to stop you right here because this is getting very weird. I’m just a farm kid who got lucky. That’s all. I have gifts, and I use them to help people. I think you might be projecting your own issues with religion onto me.”
“Forget it! I want you to fight Batman.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s the name of the movie.“
Superman nodded. That was a very good point. Unable to argue with it, he decided to attack Batman. Hopefully he could get this movie over with so he could get a dog.