Work Text:
so if love is nothing more than just a waste of your time,
waste it on me
winter, 2016
Kim Taehyung knew Kim Seokjin through the talks in the university hallways. Never seen him, but always heard of him.
The hallways of Yonsei University were always bustling. Freshmen looking around nervously because they couldn't find their classes. Seniors walking around with a sense of superiority around them. Well, some seniors, of course. Kim Taehyung was one such student of Yonsei University, a junior.
Kim Seokjin was always on the tips of everyone's tongues in the university. Anywhere you go, there is a hundred percent chance that you will hear some or the other person talking about him. You may think that he's popular for being good at academics, considering he's in one of the most popular universities in South Korea, but no doubt, he was good at academics. He was popular for the worst reasons, which unfortunately were true. Kim Seokjin was a playboy.
Seokjin had the looks. Maybe that played a part as to why he was so popular. Dark auburn hair that was overgrown around his ears, with a few strands falling over his handsome forehead, which often revealed his angry eyebrows. His eyes were almond-shaped, and a person who meets Seokjin for the first time will only see purity in them. He had thick, luscious lips that had both boys and girls down bad for him.
Behind every party that was hosted, Kim Seokjin always left with a boy or a girl. It didn't matter. Behind the reputation of being a straight-A student among the teachers, the students of Yonsei University knew better. The thing about him was that he moved on easily. In an instant, he could get over anything. Everyone knew better than to mess with Kim Seokjin of Yonsei University. Even the students who didn't even go to Yonsei. Seokjin had a reputation like that.
He never drifted from his motives. Just a quick fuck at the party, and he was gone. All was consensual; everyone who had fucked with him had known what Seokjin was. All of them just wanted a whiff of Seokjin's reputation. That's what Seokjin's life was. Study, eat, go to parties, drink, and have a good fuck. Hypothetically speaking, if you were to bring him to your place to hook up with him, it is a fact that Seokjin will be up and about putting on his clothes, previously discarded on the floor, after finishing, and he'll be gone. Poof.
And if you ever spot him again, he will not spare another glance at you. Not one. The only one who got to see his true side was his brother, Jeongguk. Jeongguk had just started his freshman year at Yonsei University, and you would be dumb to not see the amount of love and affection Seokjin pours on him. Jeongguk doesn't know Seokjin's rep, though, of course. But Seokjin figures it will be inevitable anyway since these students have a big mouth and can't keep anything in.
Despite being the most popular senior in university, Seokjin didn't have many friends and only hung out with two other boys. Min Yoongi, a grumpy boy who is rumored to have once punched a guy in the face because he said some homophobic slurs to him. Other, Kim Namjoon, the topper of Yonsei. Seokjin loved both of them, as they were the ones who loved him despite all his shadows. All three found solace in each other and were like brothers.
Kim Taehyung, on the other hand, was your more than average university junior. Not many people knew him, and he always stayed in his friend group of two, never straying away. While the other juniors of the rich university indulged in heavy drinking, fucking, and repeating, Taehyung always focused on what he had gotten into uni for: his career and studies. He had also surrounded himself with people who had the same mindset as him. In short, Kim Taehyung had a little bubble he used to live in, hypothetical of course, but not really. He only let a few selective people into his bubble and didn't even give anyone he found having a bad vibe a chance.
Taehyung had the looks. He was gorgeous. Pure in a way, you could say. Honey skin that turned the faintest orange when he was flustered and big, fluffy hair that fell all over his forehead. His eyes were of two kinds, a monolid and a double eyelid, showing a contrast in his highly sculpted face. To think that Taehyung hadn't received proposals or invites to a quickie in uni was a dumb thought. He did. But he just chose to ignore it. Never felt the need to do such stuff only to fit in.
Despite the seniors and juniors of Yonsei University working hand-in-hand closely, Seokjin and Taehyung had never met. Crossed paths many times, but never spoken. Just like the way the moon orbits the sun. The two always orbited around each other but never met.
But that was about to change soon.
╭──────────.★..─╮ taehyung's bedroom ╰─..★.──────────╯
"Oh, come on, Taehyung!" Jimin whined as he currently lay sprawled on Taehyung's bed, while the latter worked on homework at his table. Taehyung's room was small but was a comfort zone for both Taehyung and his best friend, Jimin. It had blue walls and posters of all of Taehyung's favorite musicians, like Troye Sivan, Sufjan Stevens, and Cigarettes After Sex. It had a massive window on one side, which was open most of the time, letting in the cool air of Seoul to wash in the small room.
"No, Jimin. I told you, I'm not gonna go. I have a mock test the next day." Taehyung muttered, not even looking up from his thesis. Somewhere from the back, Taehyung could hear Jimin groan into the pillow, and the younger of the two let out a small chuckle.
"Oh, come on! Jeongguk is going to be there, that new freshman! He's so cute, and he stares at me in the hallways. I just wanna see if I have a chance!" Jimin groans, and Taehyung closes his notebook and spins around in his chair and lets out a small giggle.
"If you wanna go so much, just take Hoseok with you. I'm sure that party animal would be more than happy to accompany you to one of those house parties Kim Seokjin hosts." Taehyung lets out matter-of-factly. He had heard all about Kim Seokjin and his nature and did not want to have anything to do with him.
"I would take Hoseok, but he's going to his mother's place because it is his birthday. And I don't wanna go alone, Tae! You're my best friend; just this once, please?" Jimin gets up and looks at Taehyung with his whiny eyes. Taehyung contemplates for a moment before letting out a deadpanned
"No."
"Please? I'll do your laundry for a week." Jimin joins his palms, looking at Taehyung expectantly. Taehyung contemplates.
"Two months." Taehyung counters, crossing his arms over his chest.
"One month." Jimin is not called a sly fox all over the campus without a reason. Taehyung narrows his eyes before groaning, throwing his head back, and spinning to his table once more.
"Fine! And you're paying for dinner for two weeks every day!" Taehyung says, smirking, as he goes back to his homework. Jimin gapes at Taehyung's back with his jaw on the floor but nonetheless springs up from the bed, engulfing Taehyung into a hug from behind.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, Taehyung-ah! My future babies will always be indebted to you for letting me interact with their father." Jimin says, squealing, and Taehyung makes a disgusted look, trying to get Jimin's hands off of him.
"You're a man, Park! You can't get pregnant!" Taehyung yells, giggling. Jimin retreats back, laughing, and falls on the bed.
"Yeah, let a man imagine sometimes." Jimin jokes, and Taehyung just shakes his head, going back to his advanced algebra thesis homework. To think about the contrast between the two best friends, right now is the best example. Jimin is already thinking about what to wear for the party to get all the attention of the partygoers, but mostly to woo the first-year Jeongguk. Whereas Taehyung, the guy, doesn't really care as long as his homework is finished and he's well-prepped for his mock test the day after the party.
The day before the party finally arrived, and Taehyung was dreading to go. Jimin, on the other hand, was excited out of his mind. The two were currently in Jimin's bedroom, where Taehyung sat on his bed and Jimin stood in front of the cupboard with his hands on his hips, looking at the wardrobe as if it had personally offended him. "Payphone" by Maroon 5 played on Jimin's phone in the background.
"Yah! If you don't stop glaring at that cupboard, it's gonna get offended." Taehyung calls Jimin out. The latter just huffs and starts rummaging through the cupboard.
"I just don't know what to wear. I wanna be modest, but I wanna get Jeongguk's attention too." Jimin says as he dives face first into the pile of clothes, hypothetically, of course. Taehyung just mentally face-palms himself.
"You don't need to dress up for him. Dress up for yourself, and if he fails to see you for who you actually are, then he's not worth it." Taehyung shrugs before opening his phone to check the time. He had prepped for his mock test the day after the party, so he wasn't too worried.
"I figure you're right. I'll wear this white top and denims, yeah?" Jimin asks Taehyung, holding up a white polyester top with a V-neck in one hand and a pair of faded blue denims in the other. Taehyung cocks his head to the side and nods, figuring it looks pretty good. Taehyung gives him a grin and a thumbs-up with both his hands, nodding.
"It looks great. I bet Jeongguk will melt into a puddle just looking at you."
--
It was finally the day of the party. Jimin was wearing his promised outfit, and Taehyung was dressed modestly in a red flannel button-up and ripped faded denims. His hair fell messily on his forehead, giving him a boyish look. The two stand on the porch of Min Yoongi's house, where the party was, contemplating whether to ring the bell or not. The house was as big as a mansion, and Taehyung wondered who all lived in it. It probably had enough space to fit all of his relatives and distant relatives, Taehyung thought.
The two look at each other in confusion, as it was their first party, when Jimin shrugs and raises his hand to press the bell. Just as he is about to press the bell, the door is opened from the inside with a jerk, and out goes a girl, holding her mouth shut, as if she were about to throw up. Taehyung and Jimin fall apart and watch as the girl runs away, giving them a view of the party inside.
Both the boys take a deep breath before walking in. The party was raging. Like the ones you see in those cliche high school movies. Taehyung loved watching those. He just never expected to witness it in real life. The two best friends take small hesitant steps into the party, already shocked to the core.
The bass thumped against the windows of the house. Even though the house was big, you could see teenagers standing and dancing in a blur of motion, shoulder to shoulder. Laughter spilled from the kitchen, where Taehyung's eyes fell. The kitchen counter was filled with half-empty cups and beer pong balls. Taehyung was just about to say something to Jimin when the latter's eyes lit up. Taehyung followed his gaze only to land on Jeongguk.
"Taehyung, Taehyung! He looked at me." Jimin squealed like a high school teenage girl looking at their crush. Taehyung just made a weird face, but internally he was happy for his best friend.
"Go talk to him. I'm sure he has at least a little interest in you." Jimin hugged Taehyung around the neck. He pulled away, with a worried look on his face.
"You don't mind, right?" Jimin looked actually worried, but Taehyung just brushed it off. He answered with a shrug.
"It's okay. I'll just grab a drink, and if I get bored, I'll just leave." Jimin smiled happily, and Taehyung was truly happy for his friend. Shortly, Jimin left, and Taehyung made his way to the bar. Why does Min Yoongi have a full-fledged bar in his home? Taehyung wonders. He takes a seat, grabbing a red cup of soda. It was one thing coming to a party with alcohol and another actually getting drunk. He preferred taking soda. He took out his phone and started doom scrolling on YouTube, sometimes stopping to take a look at his surroundings for shady people.
He doesn't even realize someone's sitting next to him until there's a tap on his shoulder. Taehyung jumps and looks to his side, shocked to the core seeing who it was.
Kim Seokjin of Yonsei University.
He was dressed in a black Metallica top that accentuated his broad shoulders, along with faded denims and red Converse shoes. He was leaning against the counter, facing Taehyung, his head on his palm on the counter, way too close for a normal conversation. His hair was pushed back, a few strands falling on his forehead here and there. He had this lazy grin on his face that made him look cocky, but let's be real, that's what makes Kim Seokjin hot. To say he didn't look hot, Taehyung would be lying.
Taehyung is lost in his thoughts when Seokjin snaps his fingers in front of him, the lazy smirk not leaving his face.
"Kim Taehyung, business major, right?" Taehyung is dumbfounded as to why he knows his name. But when the younger is just about to open his mouth to ask him why he knows his name, Seokjin beats him to it, speaking first.
"I'm gonna assume I'm right. Anyway, I'm Kim—"
"Kim Seokjin, yeah, I know. Everyone around here does." Taehyung interrupts, making his discomfort evident. But there just was something about the elder that Taehyung couldn't put a finger on. Seokjin lets out a low chuckle.
"Sassy? I like it." Seokjin says, smirking. Taehyung looks away and back to his phone, not wanting to entertain this attractive red flag of a man anymore. Seokjin shuffles in his seat and sits directly beside Taehyung. Though the distance between them was normal, there was an air of tension between the two that neither Taehyung nor Seokjin could name.
"Anyway, who are you here with tonight?" Seokjin asked with a suggestive tone, and Taehyung caught his hidden motives. Taehyung took a deep breath, keeping his phone to the side and turning towards the elder.
"Why are you talking to me? I know what you're aiming for, and it's not gonna happen. So I suggest you leave me alone." Taehyung says with a frown on his face and a little directly. Seokjin's response is NOT what he expected.
"Direct? Hm, I like it too. I seem to like everything about Mr. Kim Taehyungssi. I wonder what to do?" Seokjin says mockingly and pretends to think. Taehyung huffs out an exasperated breath and shakes his head. He was annoyed, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"Are you always this cheesy, Seokjinssi?" Taehyung asks, raising an eyebrow. Two could play this game. Or at least that's what Taehyung told himself when he was indulging in a conversation, willingly, with the fuckboy of Yonsei University.
"I don't know. Depends on what you like." Seokjin says, smirking, clearly amused by the entire situation. The two share intense eye contact for what seemed like an eternity. Taehyung could physically feel the want in Seokjin's eyes, and to say that it didn't make him feel good would be a lie. Taehyung finally looks away, letting out a huff of laughter.
"Oh? Did I make you laugh? Guess I must've saved a country in my last life or something." Jin smirks. On his side, he was used to flirting with everyone. Flirting with Taehyung should be no different, he tells himself, but it's different and in a good way, but Seokjin can't put a finger on why it's so.
"Shut up. These corny pickup lines aren't gonna work on me." Taehyung deadpans before going back to his soda. He watches Seokjin from his peripheral vision grab a cup of beer (?) and take a sip out of it before speaking again.
"I have a feeling you don't like me as much as I want you to. Can I know why?" Although Seokjin's sentence sounds like just an inquiry, only Taehyung could see the ulterior motives behind it. The brunette narrows his eyes and speaks.
"Why are you so set on talking to me anyway? Couldn't find anyone else to take home tonight?" Taehyung barks out. He feels bold and lets out a small smirk. Seokjin mirrors him, smirking too. The younger expects a snarky response from the face he's making.
"Nothing like that. Just found you interesting. Plus you're really pretty." Seokjin says the first two sentences with that same nonchalant tone he has been speaking in since they started the conversation. The last part, though, he sounded like he meant it. Taehyung smiles, able to hide the burning in his cheeks.
"Flattered. But to answer your question—I don't like you because you're a fuckboy. You literally don't have anything better to do except to use people and throw them away like a used paper."
Seokjin smirks, but Taehyung tuts at him.
"Don't get cocky now. You won't realize it until someone comes into your life and uses you for their needs and throws you away after they're done." Taehyung stops and takes a drink of his soda, leaning on his palm, face inches from Seokjin's. He could smell Seokjin's aquatic perfume, and he wouldn't deny that it turned him on.
"I wouldn't mind if it was you. I wouldn't mind if I wasted it all on you." Seokjin didn't sound cocky. He sounded like he meant it, and it took everything in Taehyung to not climb right into his lap and eat his mouth. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind. Taehyung is distracted by the change in the song. The tune changes from a happy, funky beat to a more sensual R&B beat.
"Wanna dance, Seokjin-ssi?" Taehyung says after a lot of contemplation. Seokjin doesn't even think for a second.
"I do, Taehyung-ssi." Seokjin and Taehyung both stand up, and the younger of the two grabs the wrist of the latter. Both of them feel electricity go from their point of contact straight to their mind, heart, and soul (and their pants). Taehyung drags Seokjin through the bodies of people, underneath the dark red lights and heavy bass pulsating from the floor. The brunette turns back sometimes to take a look at Seokjin, who just smiles at him, completely dazed. This was the first time Seokjin felt something like it, and although it was a good feeling, he knew he couldn't have it. He didn't want it.
But tonight, since they found each other, he didn't really care. Seokjin and Taehyung both wanted to let loose for the first time and for completely different reasons.
Soon they reach the dance floor, and Taehyung feels a little bold and turns around to press his back to Seokjin's chest. The two feel their hearts stutter at the contact, the sound a stark contrast to their feelings.
"Why aren't you holding me? Scared?" Taehyung had heard of Seokjin making a move almost immediately after a conversation. He hears Seokjin take a deep intake of breath behind him before his hands come to rest on his hips. A part of Taehyung was screaming at him to walk away, to run away from this man who is reputed for being a player. But a part of him wanted to stay. Wanted to find out why this man affected him so much, when they barely knew each other for an hour.
The two sway from left to right, savoring the feel of each other's bodies. The music plays behind them, making it look like something out of a coming-of-age movie. Taehyung doesn't know what it is about Kim Seokjin that makes him different from all the others. If someone else would've approached Taehyung, he would've shut them up then and there. Taehyung doesn't know what possessed him, that he leaned his head back on Seokjin's shoulder, baring his neck to him. He felt the elder's warm breath on his throat, and it turned him on more than that time he actually was intimate with someone.
Seokjin leans down to press his lips against the column of his neck. Just a brush, but enough to make both of them let out breathless groans. Seokjin started getting bolder, his hands resting on Taehyung's stomach. The younger places his own hands on top of his, both swaying to the music in the back.
"I don't even know you; it's the first time I'm talking to you. But do you even know what you do to me, Kim Taehyung?" Seokjin whispers against his neck. The sensation sends a jolt down Taehyung's pants.
"Will you let me find out?" Taehyung breathes out before the hands on his stomach move back to his hips, turning him around in one swift movement. Taehyung's arms instinctively come around to wrap around Seokjin's neck, their faces inches apart. Seokjin could smell the fragrance of cherries. He didn't know if it was from the cherry soda he had been drinking or the lip balm he had put on. And God, did Seokjin want to find out.
"I wanna kiss you." Seokjin says with a hint of urgency in his voice. Like one more move, there was no stopping either of them.
"Me too." Taehyung whispers back, and before he knows it, a pair of soft, thick lips is on his own, moving gently. The two pull away shortly, breaths mingling, staring into each other's eyes, and it's like in that moment, the restraint snaps into two, and the two are eating each other's faces. Seokjin's tongue brushed Taehyung's bottom lip, and the younger complied, opening his mouth for Seokjin. The elder's tongue brushed over Taehyung's, and he could feel him everywhere.
The kiss turned sharp. Desperate. Taehyung's hands, which were around the raven-haired boy's neck, were now in his hair, tugging, a desperate plea for more. Seokjin was no better. Crooked fingers dug into the younger's hips, and he would be lying if he didn't feel wanted. A muffled sound escaped Taehyung's mouth but was not given a chance when the elder swallowed it right from his mouth. Teeth clashed. Breathing quickened. But still none of them pulled away.
After what felt like centuries of kissing, the two calmed down and pulled away from each other, breathlessly; a few giggles escaped here and there.
"Hyung, please—I." Seokjin interrupts Taehyung by kissing him on the mouth. Taehyung groans; that alone sends a spark to Seokjin's cock.
"I don't wanna think of anything else but you. Can we just—" Seokjin asks, resting his forehead onto Taehyung's. He didn't know what it was, but there was something about Kim Taehyung that made him different from the rest. The boy ignited feelings in Seokjin he didn't know he could have. Made the elder forget all about his past lovers and all the warfare. All he felt, and he felt it in his bones, was that Taehyung could help him pick up the pieces and pull him closer to himself.
"My place? Please?" Taehyung asks, breathlessly. Almost needing to feel the other all over him. There just was something about him that made Taehyung forget about all his rules. Seokjin nods quickly before Taehyung grabs his wrist again like last time and leads him out of the party. The cool night air hits them, and the two shiver.
"Cold?" Seokjin asks as he turns to look at Taehyung.
"Yeah." Seokjin doesn't waste a second in engulfing Taehyung in a hug. But the hug doesn't stay a hug when Taehyung looks up and presses his lips onto the elder's. The kiss lasted for a few more minutes against a wall, secluded from the party. Taehyung is against the wall, pinned by the elder with his knee in between Taehyung's thighs.
The two pull away, almost regretfully. It was like now that they got a taste of each other, they never wanted to stop. Taehyung takes Seokjin's hand in his own, and the two run down the street, hand in hand. The wind is in their hair, and they aren't worried about a thing. The only thing they're concerned about is being together. The two are now laughing as they run hand in hand down the streets. Seokjin turns a little as they run to take a look at the boy beside him. And Seokjin feels weak in the heart. Taehyung's hair falls messily on his forehead, but the wind in the air makes it fly up in all directions. The moonlight reflects off of his tan skin, and Seokjin suddenly cannot seem to think of a more beautiful thing.
Soon, they reach the front door of Taehyung's small flat, and before they can even open it, Seokjin has Taehyung pinned to the door, hips flush together. Both of them groan every time their erections press against each other.
"Key—Seokjin, the key." Taehyung mumbles mindlessly onto Seokjin's lips as the elder's hands wander around the boy's back. The elder finds the key in the back pocket of Taehyung's jeans, and after a lot of struggle, he manages to open the door to his flat. Wasting no time, Taehyung is pinned to the door again, and they're kissing. The kiss is open-mouthed, with teeth clashing and laughter muffled. The adrenaline from the party is still buzzing. Seokjin can taste the cherry soda the younger had drunk, and it turns him on more than actually having sex. In a rush, Taehyung leads Seokjin to the bedroom and pushes him on the bed. Seokjin sits up on his elbows and watches as Taehyung unbuttons his flannel shirt all the way and sits to straddle Seokjin's lap.
Seokjin kisses him with fervor that turns softer and more passionate. Taehyung's hands are now in the elder's hair, and his shirt is slipping off his shoulder. Seokjin breaks the kiss to leave a kiss on his shoulder and up until the younger's jawline. His hands roam up his sides, mapping out the skin like it's something holy.
"Are you sure about this?" Seokjin asks, his voice worried for the first time. This isn't supposed to be like this. Seokjin thinks. Taehyung nods before pecking Seokjin's lips. The next few moments were a blur of rushed kisses and clothes coming off one by one, discarded somewhere on the floor. Taehyung was now on his back with Seokjin sitting on his haunches between his legs, head in the crook of his neck, whispering sweet words into his ears. Which was weird for Seokjin because he hardly ever talked during sex, but it was just different with Taehyung.
After prepping him up gently and slowly, Seokjin once again asked if he was sure about this and that he didn't want him to regret anything. Seokjin ripped open a condom using his mouth, pushing it over his length, while Taehyung looked at him with desire and a lot like adoration in his eyes. Not that he would ever accept that fact.
"The only thing I'll regret is if I tell you to stop. Don't stop, please—I need you in me." Taehyung said a little desperately. Seokjin didn't mind and entered him with the same desperation, both of them letting out low groans in unison at the contact. For a second, Seokjin didn't move to let Taehyung get used to his length. But when the younger tapped the latter's shoulder, he started to move, going to an increasingly fast pace from a slow one when the younger asked him to.
Taehyung wrapped his legs around Seokjin's waist, pulling him closer. Seokjin buried his face into Taehyung's neck, biting into his shoulder but not leaving a hickey. The bed creaked in sync with Seokjin's thrusts, which particularly increased when the younger moaned out when his prostate was touched. Seokjin leaned down every second to kiss the younger's lips and Taehyung ran his hands from Seokjin's hair to his shoulder muscles. A particular thrust makes Taehyung arch up, and the elder swears it's the prettiest thing he has ever seen. Seokjin could sense Taehyung's orgasm and whispered in his ear, softly.
"I'm almost there; let's come together, yeah?" Seokjin asks, not stopping his thrusts. His hand comes up from Taehyung's hip to his manhood, and he wraps his fingers around it, his thrusts moving at the same pace as he works Taehyung.
Shortly, the two climaxed at the same time. Taehyung's orgasm painted white streaks onto his stomach, but Seokjin didn't stop working him until he was finished. Seokjin fell on top of the younger, still inside of him. Taehyung's hands reach his hair, and he moves his hands through it, fluffing up the sweaty hair. The elder falls to the side, pulling off the condom, tying it, and discarding it in the dustbin beside the bed. The two lie on their backs, staring at the ceiling, chests heaving and skin all sweaty and flushed. The two turn their heads to look at each other at the same time, letting out genuine smiles.
"I loved it." Taehyung says, and Seokjin smiles, replying with a meek 'me too.'
Soon, they clean each other up. Taehyung sits on the bed, wearing a hoodie obviously too big for him, as he watches Seokjin down a glass of water. Taehyung feels a bit of remorse, knowing Seokjin was going to leave. He told himself he didn't care, though. It was just a hookup. He just didn't know it would be this good. At that point, he just wanted Seokjin to waste everything on him. Still, as he watches Seokjin pull his t-shirt over his head, he asks him.
"Stay?" Seokjin looks at him as he straightens his tee. His eyes show conflict; about what, Taehyung doesn't know. All he knows is that he doesn't want him to leave and wants him to be by him. For at least this moment. Seokjin's eyes roam all over his face, and Taehyung knows he's contemplating. For a second, Taehyung feels bashful about asking him such a question, thinking he made a complete fool out of himself. That is until Seokjin walks over to him, sitting beside him on the bed.
He doesn't even know how they fell back into a sleeping position, because Seokjin's body was already molded into his back. It was as if they were made to fit each other. As if Seokjin's body was made for his and his own for the elder. Seokjin's lips are near his ear, and the older boy speaks.
"I know that tomorrow morning I probably won't be able to make this right. And I know there's no changing your mind. But I'm glad we found each other tonight. And I know love is only a waste of your time for you, but if it is, waste it on me."
A pang goes through Taehyung's heart, so he turns around, wanting to be closer to the older male, not caring about anything else.
"I don't care what happens tomorrow. Right now just stay. You don't need to pick up the pieces; just pull me close to you."
They fall asleep like that, each other's words etched into the walls of their hearts.
--
Taehyung wakes up the next morning with his face buried in Seokjin's chest. He looks up at the elder whose skin is sun-kissed from the light escaping from the curtains. He looks peaceful, his fuckboy persona nowhere to be seen. Taehyung's brows slowly furrow as panic sets into the younger's face. He had slept with the fuckboy of the school willingly. No, no, no. This cannot be happening. Taehyung thinks to himself as his eyes dart all over Seokjin's face. He senses Seokjin waking up. The elder opens an eye to see worry etched across Taehyung's face. Seokjin seems more awake and sits up a little on his elbow as he watches Taehyung get up and sit cross-legged, staring into space.
The elder places a hand on his thigh, hoping to get a response out of him, but Taehyung only flinches, startled at the touch.
"Taehyung? Is everything okay—" Seokjin isn't able to finish his sentence as Taehyung interrupts him.
"Leave. Please." He mumbles, his head hung low out of frustration. Seokjin looks alarmed now, sitting up fully on the bed. He sits facing Taehyung, taking his hands into his own.
"What? Why? Is it—is it because I sleep with people? Shit—I-I'll stop for you, Taehyungah."
Seokjin says in a hurry, eyebrows furrowed and eyes a little teary. He knows there's no trying to change his mind, but what can go wrong if we try?
"I don't know, but I can't do this. I'm not built for this. We're very different, and we can't be together," his voice breaks. "I'm sorry; please just leave."
The room is silent except for the sound of Taehyung's sniffles and Seokjin's heavy breaths. There's no making this right, at least not right now. Seokjin stands up and gets down from the bed with a sigh, pulling his pants on. Sometimes, the best thing to do for the person you have come to love is to leave them, knowing it made them happy. Guess Taehyung was right; you don't really understand what you do to other people until someone does the same thing to you. Seokjin did feel used, but if it was with Taehyung, he didn't mind. He thought he was fucked up for that, but at the end of the day, he was Kim Seokjin of Yonsei University; he knew he was fucked in the mind.
Taehyung is still sitting on the bed with his legs folded underneath him and head hung low. Seokjin comes to stand in front of him, with his palm on his cheek, and makes him look up.
"You were right. You don't really understand something until it happens to you. I hope I forget about you, Kim Taehyung." The hand doesn't leave the younger's face, and Seokjin leans down to press a lingering kiss onto his mouth. When Seokjin pulls away, Taehyung closes his eyes. The latter wipes his eyes and walks away from not only Taehyung's flat but also his life. Taehyung gave his mock test that day. It went well. His mind never left the boy he had sent away.
But life always has plan Bs in action.
╭──────────.★..─╮ 3 years later╰─..★.──────────╯
Summer, 2018
Seokjin had absolutely not forgotten about him.
It had been 3 years since that night that Seokjin tried to tell himself was nothing, but in fact, was everything. Not long after that night, Seokjin had graduated and started working at his father's company, like he ever had a choice. He was a chaebol, and being one, he didn't really have a choice except to agree with his parents' choices for him. Yoongi and Namjoon never once left his side, but even they didn't know what went down with Taehyung. Heck, not even his own brother knew exactly what had happend. Ever since he'd graduated, he'd been pushed into the position of CEO by his parents.
The entire exchange when his parents told him he was going to be CEO wasn't so good. But who was Seokjin to say anything anyway? So he agreed. A lot had changed after university, and Kim Seokjin was no longer fuckboy Kim Seokjin. That tag was removed from his name just after the night he had with Taehyung. In fact, he hadn't even dated. His parents always poked him and asked him to see their friend's daughter or neighbor's son, but he didn't really pay any heed to it. He just indulged himself in his work or stayed at his small apartment most of the time. Jeongguk was now Seokjin's secretary and had willingly asked to do so. He had been seeing someone for two years but never told his elder brother, and Seokjin never pushed.
His life had a routine, and younger Seokjin couldn't imagine himself being in such a routine. Guess Taehyung really had changed something in him. He went to work, sat in his 4-walled office, and left late after all his employees had left and upon reaching home, ate a quick meal and slept. Rinse and repeat. He liked the normalcy, but he missed something, or rather someone, he never had.
--
"Hyung! Can you like go out more? Mom's always complaining in my ear that you're single!" Jeongguk whines while he's sitting on the couch of Seokjin's office. The elder doesn't even look up and gives a mere nod to his younger brother.
"Later, maybe." Jeongguk knew that his 'maybe' meant 'go away, I don't wanna talk right now.' Still, he decided to probe further.
"Maybe we could go out for drinks tonight? For old times' sake?" Jeongguk asked, hoping his brother would open up to him, but it proved useless when Seokjin answered.
"I've work. Sorry, maybe some other time." Jeongguk sighs and leans back on the couch. He takes out his tablet and starts looking through the schedule, and his eyes fall on something he hadn't heard before. His brows furrow in confusion as he looks up to his elder brother.
"The new employee for human resource manager is coming in today? It's already 9 AM though." Seokjin looks up at the younger from his desk; he just shrugs and goes back to working. He couldn't go over each department, being the CEO. He didn't know why people assumed that CEOs were always single-handedly managing tasks. He has his own group of right hands that do it for him.
"Go check him out. See how he's working and stuff." Jeongguk replies with a stiff nod and walks out of Seokjin's office. He didn't understand why his brother had suddenly become distant. He didn't know if it was because of their dad's pressure or mother's pestering or something else entirely; he just wanted to fix it. With a sigh, he walked into the elevator, shortly reaching the floor with the human resources department.
Walking in, he saw a familiar figure hunched over the desk. Familiar in the sense that Jeongguk had never seen the man in the office before but sometime during his university years. Hesitantly, Jeongguk strides over to the man, presumably the new joinee.
"Uhm, Kim Taehyungssi?" Jeongguk asks, and the other man looks at him with a small nod.
"Yeah, uhm, I just joined today? I hope to do well." He says with a bow, and Jeongguk nods. Where have I seen this man before? Jeongguk thinks to himself before forcing himself to snap out of his thoughts and going back to attend to Taehyung.
"Yes, well, we hope you have a great time at Kim Tech." Jeongguk bows before walking back to Seokjin's office only to find him immersed in a call. Jeongguk just shrugs and walks away, not wanting to disturb his elder brother. He then spends the entire day trying to figure out who this Kim Taehyung was and where he'd seen him.
2 days later
Seokjin walked into his office carrying a sense of authority around him. Even though he didn't give a fuck about doing all of this, since he was forced into it, he always greeted his employees with respect and always wished them a good morning. Walking in, sipping his black coffee, the man stops in his tracks after spotting something a little too familiar. Seokjin takes two steps back, peering into the human resources department, and sees something that both makes his heart break and fall back into pieces.
Kim Taehyung.
Kim Taehyung was in his office, working on something. He was the new human resources manager. He looked so much more mature than the last time Seokjin had seen him. His hair was now a little wavy, still falling over his forehead, and his jaw grew more angled and defined. He still looked like the boy Seokjin had fallen for that winter in 2016.
Taehyung suddenly looks up, making Seokjin's mind go numb. Everything might've changed, but the younger's eyes never did. The two stare into each other's eyes, not being able to look away. Seokjin breaks the eye contact, turning away and walking towards the elevator. He doesn't take another glance back. He is a professional individual; Taehyung can work here. Seokjin just wouldn't indulge. As simple as that.
"Seokjin hyung!" Seokjin stops dead in his tracks, immediately recognizing the voice. He slowly turns around to see Taehyung, panting, chest heaving up and down, indicating that he had run after Seokjin. Time seems to stop at that time, when Taehyung walks forward and stands in front of Seokjin.
"Y-you, what are you doing here?" He asks, still a little breathless. Seokjin doesn't even realize he'd been asked a question as he continues to stare at the boy in front of him.
"I work here. I'm the CEO." At this, Taehyung's jaw falls open, and he looks confused and partly happy to see him.
"Lunch?" Taehyung asks hopefully.
"Sure." Seokjin replies quickly.
--
Seokjin is currently pacing in his office, partly traumatized and happy from the entire exchange. He swore that God was now playing tricks on him. Jeongguk is sitting on the couch, legs folded underneath him, staring at his older brother, who looked mildly possessed. Jeongguk cleared his throat to get his brother's attention. No use. A loud cough? Barely a glance. The younger had enough.
"Yah! Seokjin-hyung!" Jeongguk yells out, seemingly to divert Seokjin's attention from his internal conflicts and onto his younger brother. He looks at him confused.
"What?" Way too calm for someone who was pacing around like a madman just about 2 minutes ago.
"You're seriously asking me, 'What?' Look at yourself. You're so anxious, and you won't even tell me why!" Jeongguk whines, his voice reaching a higher octave. Seokjin finds his brother cute and remembers the time when little Jeongguk used to whine to Seokjin to bring him candy. Seokjin walks over to him, squishing his cheeks. Jeongguk looks mad. His ears were steaming at this point. Seokjin enjoys it, though; at least he'll leave him alone.
"My little brother is worried about me," Seokjin coos, shaking the younger's face, with his cheeks still squished. Jeongguk groans and swats his brother's hands from his face. Seokjin steps back chuckling, almost forgetting about the entire Taehyung dilemma for a second. He sits back on his chair with a groan, checking his watch, which reads 1 PM. His eyes widen in shock, and he quickly gets up, grabbing his brown coat and dashing out of his office, without sparing a glance at his younger brother, by the way. Jeongguk stares at the door slamming shut. He looks around the office, shrugs, and goes back to his phone to order some food.
Seokjin quickly reaches the human resources department and spots Taehyung picking up his jacket and walking towards him. Seokjin has to mentally tell his brain and heart to shut the fuck up, because what in the fuckery was going on? It seemed like everyone—karma, kismet, or Lady Luck—was playing a joke on him.
Taehyung comes out, putting on his jacket and smiling at him. The smile was tinged with sadness, but a smile is a smile. Seokjin counted it as a win.
"Let's go?" Seokjin merely nods as the two make their way towards the elevator. Taehyung feels the eyes of the other employees on them. He was walking with the CEO and that too casually. Taehyung feels glad that he met Seokjin after two years. But he couldn't help but feel bad for the older male. He doesn't know if Seokjin still thought about him every day like Taehyung did.
The two walked in uncomfortable silence for a while until they reached the small cafe, just beside the office building. Seokjin followed Taehyung to a seat near the window and took a seat in front of him. After ordering two cold coffees, the waitress left, leaving the two alone with each other, even though they were surrounded by people on all sides. It was lunch, but neither of the two was really hungry.
"So, how've you been, hyung?" Seokjin looked up from fiddling with his fingers.
"Good, you?" Seokjin replies, trying not to sound too closed off. Taehyung is just about to say something else when a third party crashes the lunch. Kim Jeongguk. That brat.
"I KNEW IT! I knew I'd seen you somewhere!" He says, pointing at Taehyung, eyes wide and a huge smirk on his face.
"I just didn't know you were THE Kim Taehyung my brother loves!" Jeongguk yelled, and a few of the people in the cafe turned to look at the chaos. Seokjin choked on his coffee and went into a coughing fit; Taehyung looked at him worriedly. After a few moments, Seokjin calmed down and glared at Jeongguk. He wanted nothing else than to punch his younger brother's face. He could practically feel his ears burning red. He just didn't know if it was from anger or the fact that Jeongguk had just outed him. Seokjin looks over to Taehyung, who is now smiling. Seokjin didn't know if he was dreaming, but he swore he saw a tinge of pink on his cheeks.
"Oh, for the love of God and all things holy, leave, Jeongguk!" Jeongguk snickered wickedly before giving one of his best good-boy smiles to Taehyung, who smiled back. The boy skipped out of the cafe and went God knows where. Seokjin couldn't care less.
"Don't mind him. He's a little...hyper." Seokjin finishes, and Taehyung giggles, lightening up the atmosphere a tad bit.
"I'm more concerned about the part where he said you're in love with me?" Taehyung asks, with a raised eyebrow, sipping his drink, making Seokjin go beet-red all over. Seokjin sputtered at the younger's words.
"N-no. I mean, no, I don't love—Wait, I do still love you—Crap! No, shit, I'm so sorry. I'm making this worse." Seokjin finishes his ramblings by slamming his head on the table. He thinks he's gone for because of all the shit he just spat out, but those thoughts are gone in a poof when he hears Taehyung's laughter. It starts off in small giggles, but when Seokjin looks up, Taehyung is laughing, head thrown back, looking once again like the boy Seokjin fell for. A small smile immediately graces Seokjin's lips, happy to see the man in front of him smiling.
The rest of the lunch is spent in small talk. After finishing and a small battle of who was going to pay, Seokjin won, and the two headed out of the cafe. They realize they still have some time before going back, so they decide to sit on a bench in a nearby park. Taehyung talks animatedly about something his friend Jimin did, while Seokjin just stares at the side of his face, enamored by his way of speaking and existing.
"What?" Taehyung turns and asks Seokjin, with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Realizing he had been caught, Seokjin quickly looks away, clearing his throat. He contemplates a lot before speaking. He was ready to do anything for this man. Taehyung could eat him and throw him away if he wasn't his taste, but all he wanted was the boy in front of him. He speaks, taking a leap of faith.
"Sorry. I just—I just got caught off guard since you came into my life again. I'm gonna be completely honest with you, Taehyung. I fell in love with you that night, then and there. Not with your body, but you. Because you made me a better person. You changed the way I viewed people as mere objects. I guess when you told me to leave, I deserved it. I deserved it because it was a way of karma getting back at me. But when we parted ways, Taehyung, I swear, it felt like my world came crashing down even though I'd known you for one night.
I used to think love is messed up and that nothing would ever work out. I never wanted to try. But for you, I—I don't know what you do to me, even after these two years. I don't think there's ever been a day that I haven't taught about you. That winter made me realize many things, but now it's summer, and I wanna be your comma; I'll take you to a new phrase. Because I love you, Kim Taehyung. So much that it hurts; if you think love is just a waste of your time, just waste it on me. Will you have—"
Seokjin is cut off by Taehyung when he speaks.
"Can you shut the fuck up already and kiss me?" Seokjin must've looked like a deer lost in the headlights, eyes wide and a little startled, because Taehyung grabbed his collar and yanked his face down, smashing their lips together. Seokjin doesn't kiss back for a moment because he's confused, but when he feels Taehyung's hands in his hair, he finally regains his senses and rests one hand on the back of Taehyung's neck and the other on the small of his back.
Their lips move together with gentleness, like they had all the time in the world and nothing to be afraid of. Probably because they did. Even though their kiss was familiar, the two were no longer the people they were when they first kissed. Taehyung is a bit more mature and let loose, and Seokjin is way more mature and changed. They pull away, laughing and cheeks flushed.
"Do you even know how happy I am? I'm so happy we met again as more developed versions of ourselves. I'm glad I helped you be a better person, Seokjinah." Taehyung says, smiling, savoring the feel of the elder's hand on his back.
"Have me if you will?" Seokjin says with a grin that reminds Taehyung of the boyish Seokjin.
"Always, but we should get back to work; it's late." Taehyung says, glancing at his watch. Seokjin's eyes follow his trail.
"Mhm, but promise me one thing." Taehyung looks confused.
"Waste it on me."
Seokjin says as he and Taehyung sit side by side on a bench in Seoul, in the summer of 2018, both still the same people who were together one winter night in 2016, just more mature and better versions of themselves.
But if each one of them could go back in time, they wouldn't change a thing. Seokjin had one thing clear in his mind, which was for Taehyung and Taehyung only.
If love is nothing more than just a waste of your time, waste it on me.