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The smell of baking chocolate filled the kitchen at the Hyuuga estate. Hinata moved quickly, filling the last of the molds and putting them into the freezer to cool, removing the other set of already cooled chocolate to make space. She began to remove them and put them into bags as sets of three, moving in a steady flow of concentration.
Tomorrow was Valentine’s Day, and she wanted to prepare chocolates as fresh as possible as was her usual way year after year. Carefully she set aside bags for her father and Ko, her hands trembling as she put a couple in a bag that she planned to take to Neji’s grave. Thinking of her cousin made her pause, her head low and gripping the counter until her knuckles turned white as she fought back tears. Losing Neji was too fresh, and her chest twisted every time she thought of him. Hinata took a deep breath to steady herself, and looked up at the remaining chocolate. She needed to keep working–it was late enough as is, and as tired as she was she was almost done.
She began to pack away the remaining chocolate: one for Kiba and one for Shino of course. One for Shikamaru, one for Choji and one for Sai. The tray in the fridge was exclusively for Naruto, and she blushed at the thought of giving it to him. She gave him the biggest bag year after year since their Academy days, always to the biggest smile and a “Thanks, Hinata!!” while she just smiled happily at him. But this year was different: this time, she was going to properly confess to him. Absentmindedly, she noticed she had some extra chocolate much to her confusion. Then, she remembered Sasuke was back in Konoha and that she had accounted for him as well. She was hesitant at the idea at first–after all, he had caused her and her friends so much pain–but ultimately she had decided that it wasn’t fair to purposefully exclude the Uchiha. Besides, she had a feeling Sasuke wasn’t truly bad, and if Naruto fought for him as hard as he did and believed in him, then she had no reason to believe otherwise. Packing it all away, she smiled as she turned to get Naruto’s batch out of the freezer. She was almost done, and she needed to make sure it was perfect for tomorrow.
~~**~~
Hinata made her way through the streets of Konoha, clutching a box wrapped beautifully in orange paper to her chest. Luck was on her side today–she had managed to come across all of her friends at some point or another and give them their chocolates first. Of course, some of them were on purpose: she had deliberately stopped by Neji’s grave early in the morning and spent some time with him, leaning the bag gently against his headstone. After her tears were dry, she went to find Kiba and Shino, where they ate breakfast together at the Aburame house and laughed as they told stories and reminisced on their early days.
Later, she had found Shikamaru on his way home from the Hokage Tower, mumbling about how much of a drag it was he had to do so much work and that he was happy it was finally his day off. Hinata smiled gently at him when he looked a little surprised at her presenting the gift, and she felt her heart lift a little when she managed to get a smile out of him as he told her “Thanks, Hinata”.
She had found Choji unsurprisingly at Yamanaka Flower Shop, talking with Ino as she arranged a bouquet for a nervous young man. Hinata stepped aside as the man left, Ino waving excitedly at her. “Hey, Hinata! How are you today?” she had said.
“Oh, I’m fine Ino, thank you for asking,” she responded, walking up to Choji as she fished out the appropriate bag. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Choji!” she smiled as she handed it to him. The young man excitedly grabbed the small bag from her with a loud thanks, and Ino rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she took Sai’s chocolate to give to him.
“As if you needed more snacks,” Ino teased, before looking at Hinata, “You made some for everyone?”
Hinata nodded shyly, “I make some every year for my family, but this year so much has happened that I really wanted to do it for everyone else, too…”
“I see,” Ino grinned devilishly as her eyes fell on the orange box in the Hyuuga’s arms. “And does Naruto get the biggest one?”
Hinata blushed bright red, but she nodded, “Well, he’s worked so hard for all of us…so I…” she trailed off as Ino’s grin grew wider.
“Uh-huh, and it has nothing to do with how in love with him you are.”
“Ino!” She squeaked, glancing around anxiously.
“Relax, Hinata. I’m sure he’ll really appreciate it,” the blonde laughed. Another flustered-looking young man wrenched the door open and ran up to the counter, and Hinata took this as her cue to leave. She waved bye as Ino fell into the rhythm of helping the customer, and Choji waved enthusiastically, “Bye Hinata! And thanks for the chocolate!”
And now, all that was left was Naruto and Sasuke. Hinata didn’t have the faintest idea where she would find the Uchiha–since he had been released from prison a couple months ago, he tended to avoid the more populated spots in the village. Hinata could understand, but at the same time she also understood her fellow villager’s apprehension towards the ex-criminal. She resolved to just give it to him whenever she saw him, but for right now her priority was Naruto.
Her heart began to pick up speed as she thought about just what she would say. She was determined to tell him her feelings, without the rush of adrenaline of battle but in a quiet, calm and maybe--she blushed scarlet--even intimate moment.
And then her luck stuck again. She spotted a familiar shock of bright blond hair leaving Ichiraku, and despite her nerves Hinata smiled. Of course he would be there. She began to walk quickly, “Naruto!”
The young man turned around, and Hinata’s heart skipped a beat when his bright blue eyes lit up in recognition. “Hey, Hinata!” he waved, his wide smile appearing. “What’s up?”
Hinata stopped in front of him, her shyness suddenly coming back full force. “I was looking for you, and…um…” she looked down, avoiding his eyes. She was finding it difficult to find words, now that he was here in front of her.
“You were looking for me? Why?” Naruto looked confused, “Is something wrong?”
“No!” Hinata said, a little too quickly. Mentally she winced, then tried to steady herself. “No, I uh…I have something for you…”
“Something for me?” His eyes dropped to the box she was carefully clutching to her chest, “Is it that?”
Hinata nodded, then glanced nervously around her at the villagers milling about nearby. She was suddenly acutely aware of just how many people were nearby, and she wanted the moment she confessed to Naruto to be between just the two of them. “Yes, but, um…can we go somewhere else, a little quieter?”
“Huh? Yeah sure, Hinata, no problem!” Naruto smiled easily at her, and her heart thumped louder as she gave a small smile back. They began to walk, Naruto leading the way and Hinata was too in-her-own-head about what was about to happen. She was trying to calm herself, telling herself she was ready, that they had finally achieved peace and that she worked very hard to prepare. That she was no longer the stuttering, paralyzingly shy girl she once was, but a strong woman. And due to the war, and what happened to Neji, she decided she couldn’t wait any longer, that it was time to take control of her life. She would no longer wait for it to happen to her. She blinked in surprise when she realized they had stopped, “The training grounds?”
“Yeah,” he scratched at the back of his head a little awkwardly, “I used to come here a lot as a kid when I needed to think, and usually people don’t come to this one because it’s farther so we shouldn’t be bothered. So, what didja wanna give me?”
Hinata took a deep breath, this is it. She clutched the box a little tighter, struggling to find where she should begin as Naruto waited patiently. “Naruto…I…” her voice trailed off, and she cleared her throat. She would not falter, she told herself, and looked up to meet his eyes directly.
“Naruto, I’ve seen what you’ve done not just for this village, but for the entire world. I’ve watched you since we were both small, how you would never give up despite how everyone seemed to be against you. You would get up again and again, even when it seemed hopeless but you would always push through no matter what. I always admired that most about you, and it helped me become more brave, more strong. You taught me not to give up, to believe in myself, and as I watched you I began to become more fond of you,” her voice held firm, and she realized that as she began talking, the words came to her easily.
“I would find reasons to give you things–I would give you medicine when you were hurt, or I would make you a bento with your favorite onigiri. I would give you chocolate on Valentine’s Day, like today,” she noticed his eyes flick to the box before returning to meet her own, “and now I’ve decided it was time for me to tell you what has been in my heart for years. Naruto, I love you! Please accept this!” She held out the box, her body in a slight bow. Her words hadn’t been as eloquent as she had practiced, but they had just flown from her and they were as true as they could be. All she could do now was wait for his reply.
Naruto watched her, a little stunned. He slowly reached out and took the box from her, looking at it intensely. Hinata looked up when the box left her hands, and watched him carefully. The silence dragged on as he scrutinized the box, and it seemed like he was searching for the words, but as the seconds ticked by her heart began to sink a little. Naruto then looked up at her, his face apologetic, and before the words were out Hinata’s heart shattered.
“I’m…so sorry Hinata….”
Her body stiffened, her face frozen. She had known this would have been a possibility, that he wouldn’t feel the same. But thinking about it and experiencing it were two very different things, and she didn’t expect her chest to twist so painfully.
Naruto looked at her carefully, “I want you to know, Hinata, that you are special to me. You’re one of my dearest friends, and one of my biggest believers when I had no one else. This...this isn’t easy for me, because I really don’t want to hurt you. But,” he trailed off, looking down in guilt. Hinata wanted to reassure him, to tell him it was alright and that he didn’t need to apologize, but she couldn’t move.
“But it wouldn’t be fair to you if I led you on when I don’t…I don’t feel the same way,” Naruto said, regret coloring his tone. Hinata felt her heart break again–here he was, feeling guilty for hurting her when she was the one who put him in this position, when she was the one who blurted out her feelings and made him uncomfortable. It was just another painful reminder of why she loved him. “I’m so sorry, Hinata. I just…I don’t want to hurt you,” he repeated sadly, as he held out the box back to her.
Hinata looked down as she tried to pull herself together. She needed to be strong, for Naruto. She didn’t want him to look like that, didn’t want to be the reason he looked so sad. Taking a deep breath, she plastered a smile on her face as she looked back at him and shook her head. “It’s alright, Naruto,“ she was surprised at how steady her voice was. “I’m sorry for putting this on you so suddenly, it was rude of me.”
“Hinata, no, that’s not what I–”
Hinata shook her head again, smile still on her face, “Really, it’s alright. I’m still happy to know how much you care for me, how much our friendship means to you. And please, keep the chocolates. I made some for everybody, you can think of them as friendship chocolates as well.”
Naruto met her eyes, not quite convinced. “You’re sure? Because…”
Hinata gently pushed the box back towards him, “Yes, I’m sure. I worked hard on those, it would make me happy if you at least kept them.”
The two of them stood in silence, and finally, Naruto nodded. “Okay. Listen, Hinata, we’re still okay, right? We’re still friends? Because I don’t want to lose that.”
Hinata looked up into his blue eyes, and her gut clenched. “Friends,” she affirmed, her smile never leaving her face. Naruto’s shoulders relaxed as he finally let a grin spread on his face.
“Okay, good. Um…listen, I don’t want to be rude, but…Kakashi-sensei called me to the Tower, so…um…” he fidgeted, not knowing what to do. He felt bad at the idea of leaving Hinata here, he really didn’t want her to think he was ditching her. But Hinata giggled a little, and he felt relief spread through him.
“Of course! Go ahead Naruto, I’m sure we’ll see each other later.”
“You bet! And Hinata,” he put a hand on her shoulder as he began to walk past, and she looked up at him quizzically, “thanks again for the chocolates.”
Her heart twisted, but she refused to let it show as she fought down a wince, smiling brightly. “Of course, Naruto. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
He clapped her shoulder as he walked away, his smile as bright as it usually was. Hinata waited for him to disappear from sight, and the moment she couldn’t see him anymore she slumped in on herself, smile sliding off.
She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. She had more important things to worry about–she can’t be wallowing in her feelings like a little girl. She wasn’t a child anymore, and she could almost hear her father’s voice telling her the same. She squared her shoulders and began to walk back to the village, though her body felt heavier. She had been looking down at her feet as she walked, trying desperately to fight her mind from replaying her botched confession, when she suddenly collided into someone. “Oh, I’m so sorry! Please excuse me!” she squeaked out an apology, bowing deeply.
When she didn’t hear an answer, she glanced up through her bangs to see Sasuke Uchiha looking at her, face passive but not angry. “Sasuke? What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” he responded, his tone flat but not unkind. Hinata began to fidget with her jacket sleeve.
“Well, today is Valentine’s Day, so I was going around giving the chocolate I made to my friends…” Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as he studied the girl in front of him. He didn’t remember her all that much from when they were growing up, but he remembered that she was one of the few girls that left him alone, instead focusing on his thick-headed teammate. He remembered her being shy, and quiet, but he knew nothing about her besides that. Still, he noticed there was a weight to her posture–she was shy, yes, but something else was weighing on her. When she raised her head with a smile on her face, he knew something was wrong then. The smile was too stiff, too practiced, and her eyes looked incredibly sad. Still, he said nothing. If she wasn’t going to say anything about it, then it wasn’t his business to get it out of her. “And out here I found Naruto, so I gave him his,” she explained. Suddenly she jumped slightly, as if remembering something, “I also made some for you too, Sasuke,” she pulled a small bag out of her pouch and presented it to him, “I wasn’t sure if I was going to see you today, but I guess I got….lucky,” she forced the last word out.
Sasuke looked at the bag for a moment. He was not fond of sweets, of chocolate or pastries or anything of the sort, though he didn’t expect her to know that. He opened his mouth a moment to say ‘no thanks’ and to continue on his way, but to his surprise he took it. “Thanks,” he said, tucking the bag in a pocket under his cloak.
“Of course,” Hinata said, that fake smile still plastered on her face. Sasuke raised an eyebrow again, but said nothing. “Well, I have to go, but it was good to see you,” she gave a small wave, and without waiting for a response she walked past him. Sasuke watched her go, curious about what happened to make her so sad, before he shrugged and kept walking.
~~*~~
Hinata sat on the dock, feet just barely dangling above the water, hands folded into her lap and gripping each other like her life depended on it. She was finding it harder and harder to forget what happened earlier, her encounter with Naruto constantly rewinding in her brain on repeat. She screwed her eyes shut, trying instead to think of happy memories with him, like when he had found her right before his fight with Neji in the Chuunin Exam. Except, that had been at the same training ground as earlier, when he–
She shook her head, willing to throw the memory out of her head and instead focusing on when they were very small, when she had been down in the snow as Naruto valiantly failed at saving her from her bullies. But instead of making her heart flutter as it usually did, her heart began to sink lower and her chest tightened. Hinata drew her legs up, and she wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her head in her arms as she let out an involuntary whimper.
After a bit of silence punctuated by the sounds of crickets joining each other in a chorus, she heard the swish of a cloak as someone stopped next to her. “So we’ve run into each other again, it seems,” said a familiar voice.
Hinata slowly raised her head to see Sasuke standing next to her, looking out across the water. She followed his gaze, but otherwise didn’t move, “It seems so.” Silence stretched between them, and though Hinata felt a little awkward she didn’t have the energy to try and fill it like she normally would.
“I’m surprised someone else knew about this place,” he said eventually. She glanced at him curiously, but didn’t reply. “I used to come here when I was younger, after my clan’s massacre,” he explained, his tone casual.
Hinata lowered her legs and looked up at him in horror, “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t know this place was important to you, I–”
“It’s alright.”
He was looking down at her now, and she saw no anger or annoyance in his eyes. If anything, he looked….tired. “It’s not like I own these docks anyway,” he added with slight amusement. Hinata blinked, a little surprised that he could even sound like anything other than angry or emotionless. She hummed in acknowledgement, then looked back over the water.
Sasuke, however, kept looking at her. He noticed that whatever was weighing on her before was even heavier now, and her posture when he had arrived had been indicative of that. She was slowly folding inwards on herself–shoulders hunched, head slightly bowed, fingers twisting in her lap. Her eyes had that pained look about them, and her lip was trembling slightly, as if she was fighting back the urge to cry. He debated if he wanted to ask her what was wrong, if he even wanted her to say anything to him. But, he remembered his vow to Kakashi, to Naruto and Sakura–and to himself. That he was going to try and be a better person, worthy of his brother. He was going to try and make connections, and to not run away from the idea of being friends with others.
And, he had to admit as his heart skipped slightly, he didn’t like that Hinata was looking so sad.
“Is everything alright?”
Hinata let out a small gasp as she whipped her head around to meet his gaze. This was the last thing she had expected to come from him of all people; it’s not as if they were good friends. She couldn’t remember the last time he had said two words to her, but he was looking steadily at her. Feeling a little embarrassed, she lowered her gaze and fidgeted. “Oh, I’m fine, thank you. It’s nothing to–”
“Don’t.”
She glanced back up at him, but his face remained the same though she could swear his eyes were a little sharper. “I’ve had enough liars in my lifetime. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, that’s your business. Just tell me if you’re uncomfortable with sharing, but please don’t lie to me,” he continued. Despite his tone being even, gentle for him even, Hinata flinched as if caught.
He was right, she didn’t have to tell him what happened. If anything, it would be ridiculous of her to tell him. He had more than his own share of problems, and she knew that what burdened her heart was so trivial she felt embarrassed to even entertain the idea of telling Hanabi, much less Sasuke Uchiha. She opened and closed her mouth, trying and failing to find the words to tell Sasuke that he really shouldn’t bother, as the feeling of drowning sorrow seemed to rise in her like a wave. Without realizing it, Hinata bowed her head in shame, clutching the legs of her pants. “I…it’s so stupid, I…”
“It’s not stupid if it's got you this upset,” Sasuke replied, sitting down next to her while never taking his eyes off of her. He felt a small tug in his chest as he watched her struggle to find what to say next. He never really paid close attention to her when they were growing up, but he had to admit that of the girls in his year, she had always been the one he secretly looked at to see if she was impressed. He wasn’t sure if it was because she was from another high-ranking Konoha clan, or if it was because she was never in his business, but he could say that she had been the one that he liked the best. His eyebrows raised as he noticed a tear leaking from her downcast eyes.
“As I said, today is Valentine’s Day, and I had given Naruto chocolates as I usually do, but this time I…I confessed my feelings to him…” She paused as she wiped at her eyes, “And h-he…he was very kind but he e-explained that he doesn’t feel the same for me…” She tried to wipe her eyes again, but the tears were beginning to flow quickly now.
Sasuke frowned as he watched her, unsure of what to say. He didn’t need to, however, as it seemed the metaphorical dam had burst, and the words kept coming. “I-I know that I shouldn’t be this upset, I shouldn’t cry…I’m a shinobi, I should have a better grasp on my emotions…and anyway, we just had a war! People died, they sacrificed themselves for us, but here I am crying over the fact that a boy couldn’t return my feelings!” Her voice was rising slightly as she berated herself, almost forgetting her companion next her. “It’s nothing compared to what just happened, it’s so trivial, so…so why??” she asked, finally turning to him. Sasuke jumped slightly as she did, utterly taken aback at the pure pain and desperation on her face, “Why does it hurt so much, Sasuke??”
Sasuke furrowed his brows as he considered his next words. Hinata was still wiping her tears in vain, struggling hard not to completely break and making pathetic noises as she gasped for breath. He lifted a hand and reached out to her, but he hesitated. What if he said the wrong thing? What if she didn’t want his comfort, or misconstrued his sympathy for pity, as he would have done in the past? He blinked as he remembered that Hinata just wasn’t like that, and he gently placed his hand on her shoulder. “Hinata.”
She looked up at his soft voice and his touch. His eyes looked sad. “I’m so sorry, Sasuke…I didn’t mean to cry like that, you didn’t need to listen to my silly problems…you must be feeling so awkward…” she began to ramble, hugging her arms. Mentally, she began to berate herself again. But his hand never moved, just gently squeezed.
“Listen…if there is anything I learned on my journey, if there’s anything that my friends have taught me, it’s that you shouldn’t hide away from your emotions. Happiness, sadness, jealousy, fear…it’s what makes us human, what makes us alive. The shinobi that sacrificed themselves made it so you can still get to feel these emotions. It’s not…healthy, to bottle them up and pretend you don’t feel them. Although in your case, I’m not so sure you would necessarily go looking for revenge,” he teased, and Hinata let out a weak laugh with a watery attempt at a smile. He looked at her, face serious again, and continued, “So if you want to cry, you should. Allow yourself to feel, to grieve. You’re not weak for feeling this way.”
His words echoed in her head as she met his gaze. You’re not weak for feeling this way. She held her breath as her mind raced. Here was the man that had a reputation for being as cold-blooded as they come, someone who she remembered would scoff at the very notion of emotions, and he was telling her that she was not weak for them. She wasn’t wrong for feeling as strongly as she did. She held his gaze, and she could see loneliness reflected in them, her heart twisting again. Her face crumpled as she finally allowed herself to feel the full force of it all: her grief at the loss of what could have been, her embarrassment for the confession being a failure, even the unfairness of the state of everything in her life right now. She buried her face in her hands as a mournful wail left her body, as she sobbed without the worry of appearances.
Sasuke frowned as he took in the sight of Hinata wracked with sobs. He didn’t realize just how deep her pain went, and he was struck by how she didn’t look pitiful but just…tragic. He squeezed his hand on her shoulder slightly again, and he hesitated for a second before pulling her against his chest and wrapping his arm around her heaving shoulders. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to do such a thing, but the fact she didn’t resist meant that she didn’t mind. He felt her hands move from her face to clutch at his shirt, which quickly became damp with her tears but Sasuke didn’t move, didn’t look away from the other side of the lake. Oddly, a memory pushed into his mind where he was a small boy, crying as he entered his kitchen with a skinned knee. His mother kneeling down, petting his hair with a low and soothing voice, telling him that it would be better. He remembered how comforted he felt, and while his chest began to tighten he hoped that he was doing the same for Hinata. His thumb rubbed back and forth absently as her cries began to subside.
Once she had quieted down and steadied her breath, she leaned back and rubbed her face while Sasuke removed his arm to give her space. “Thank you, Sasuke…I’m sorry for making your shirt wet,” she sniffled sheepishly.
“Don’t worry about it,” Sasuke shrugged. Hinata smiled.
“I’m not sorry for crying, I think, though I imagine this must have been…strange for you, seeing as we were never exactly close,” she murmured, fiddling with the cuff of her sleeve. “I seem to remember you greatly disliking it when the other girls our age made a scene like that.”
Sasuke let out an amused huff. “That doesn’t matter. Do you feel better?”
Hinata glanced up at him, then across the lake as she thought. Did she feel better? She considered her words carefully as she watched the sunlight glitter on the amber water, “Well…I suppose this is something that will take some time for me to heal from. I’ve loved Naruto for years,” she explained quietly, and Sasuke’s brow twitched at his friend’s name. “But right now, in this moment?” She turned back to Sasuke, and she let a small but genuine smile on her face. “Yes, I think I do.”
Sasuke exhaled, relieved he was able to help her. He was never good at this, being friendly and maintaining relationships. He was never loud, never showy in his expressions, but really neither was Hinata. He figured that was why something like this, with her, was easier than expected. The corner of his mouth turned up in a small smile as he looked across the water once more, “Good.”
It was Hinata’s turn to watch him, wondering when the ex-missing-nin had been so…kind and thoughtful. She had never expected Sasuke Uchiha to be the one to comfort her over her failed love life, much less willing to be here with her at all. “Thank you, Sasuke,” she whispered shyly, and Sasuke just nodded.
Silence stretched between them once more, but this time it was more comfortable than awkward. Hinata didn’t want to go home just yet, wanting to give her eyes and face a chance to be less puffy from all the crying before facing her family back at the estate, and Sasuke didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave either. She found that she didn’t mind sitting next to him, that he really wasn’t as scary as she had made him out to be over the years. She found his presence rather calming. “You know,” she began, and though he didn’t move she knew he was listening, “I wouldn’t mind being friends with you. I don’t know that much about you, but I would like to.”
Sasuke shrugged, but looked over at her. “I’m still getting used to the whole…friendship thing. I’m still learning about myself, who I am beyond the avenger I made myself out to be. It’ll take me some time, and I may fall back on old rude habits, though I'm trying to be better. But…” he trailed off, and he searched her gaze for a moment, “...us being friends sounds like a good place to start”, he smiled slightly, and Hinata found herself smiling back.
“That’s good, because we have a lot to catch up on,” she said, drawing her legs up to wrap her arms around her knees once again, but this time she was a little more content. Beside her, Sasuke let out another amused huff that sounded like a laugh.
It turns out she was pretty lucky today, after all.