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What the [system censor]?! Shen Jiu bought a really pretty fan he saw in the secondhand shop, and what did it do to him when he tried to place it on his shelf? It made him transform into a magical girl! And he had to fight bad guys and do meaningless acts of kindness like helping old people across the street or rescuing cats off trees. Well, the latter wasn't meaningless… he liked cats. But the rest was meaningless!
He would've avoided doing any of these things if it weren't for that frustrating intangible glowing square called System. It would flash in the middle of the night, its shrill alarm blaring in his head until he got up and activated Glittering Jade Mode to fly over to a destination and complete every quest it sent him to do. And he couldn’t swear! Anytime he tried, he’d be censored by System. He couldn’t even flip people off! His middle finger would look pixelated like it was being edited live! Come the [system censor] on!
It was mortifying enough that he'd transform into a sailor outfit with temporary ample chest and long hair, but now he was proclaimed as Cang Qiong City's superhero. He didn't want this power in the first place! But there was one glaringly frustrating thing Glittering Jade had done to ruin his life to the utmost degree.
“Xiao-Jiu, did you watch An Ding News?” Yue Qi asked excitedly and then continued without waiting for Shen Jiu to respond. “Tianlang is finally in prison! I'm so glad we have Glittering Jade saving our city!”
His best friend, the only man he'd ever see himself marrying, was stupidly in love with Glittering Jade.
Shen Jiu clenched his teeth hard as he said, “Tch. Took her long enough.”
“I know, but Tianlang is a very slippery villain. Anyone in her place would have a difficult time trying to catch him.”
“Well, she needs to do better. If any other supervillains show up, they sure as hell wouldn’t be as easy going as Tianlang.”
Yue Qi's easy chuckle both infuriated and soothed Shen Jiu. “She's doing her best, Xiao-Jiu. I appreciate everything she does for us.”
[System censor] hell. This was always how their conversations went whenever Glittering Jade was involved: Yue Qi would praise her, Shen Jiu would try to put her in a bad light, and then Yue Qi would turn his venomous words into something positive. What was so great about the superhero version of himself? He always made sure to scowl at people and any live reporters to make her act unapproachable and unfriendly, but everyone seemed to love her despite her foul behavior. Wake up, sheeple!!!! How dare you all worship and praise this person like she was a god?!
The fact that Yue Qi viewed her as someone who could do nothing wrong and was perfect in every way made Shen Jiu see red with fury. He hated that stupid green sailor outfit with a skirt that was disgustingly too short. And why the hell did he transform into a girl, anyway?! Was giving him boobs necessary to fight crime?
He let Yue Qi ramble about Glittering Jade for a few minutes like he always did even though it pissed him off. Shen Jiu was his best friend, after all. And … he liked hearing how happy the older man was …
But he still hated Glittering Jade! So annoying!
Several months passed of annoying side quests and Shen Jiu's actual full time job as a professor. Do you have any idea how difficult his life was lecturing these idiotic students about their failed exams and grades and then balancing his crime fighting side job at the same time? It was hard work! And no one paid superheroes! What the hell was up with that? Did they want him to starve? Be homeless because he couldn’t afford rent? He deserved a reward, damn it, specifically money!
And the supervillain activity worsened ever since Tianlang’s arrest. Some kid who called himself Junshang kept stirring up trouble around the city until Glittering Jade would be forced to show up. He had that similar arrogant eyes and stupidly overconfidant smirk as Tianlang, so it was safe to assume Junshang was his son. It was most likely he wanted revenge for his father, so Shen Jiu didn’t bother interacting with him and always chased him away before he could begin monologuing like all villains did.
So imagine his surprise when An Ding News reported Junshang announcing to everyone that he had a hostage and would only negotiate terms with Glittering Jade. And it was Shen Yuan, of all people. Why the hell did the supervillain unknowingly capture his brother just to get his attention?!
Shen Jiu landed at the top of Su Corp Tower where the supervillain held his didi. Junshang had his disgusting arm wrapped around Shen Yuan's waist and wore an arrogant smirk on his lips.
“Ge-Glittering Jade!” Shen Yuan blanched before he corrected himself.
“Are you alright? You're not hurt?” Shen Jiu restrained from letting his panic show.
Shen Yuan nodded frantically. “I’m fine. Really. He didn't hurt me.”
“How magnanimous of Cang Qiong City's superhero to feel concerned for a civilian,” said the kidnapper in a low and condescending tone. “Truly a well respected figure worthy of all praise.”
“I’m here like you asked. Tell me what you want in exchange for the hostage.”
“I'll gladly hand back Shen Yuan to you if you agree to marry me.”
“...”
“...”
“WHAT THE [system censor] DID YOU JUST SAY?!” Shen Jiu roared.
“WHAT?! ARE YOU INSANE? YOU CAN'T MARRY GE-GLITTERING JADE!” Shen Yuan exclaimed loudly to the point his voice cracked.
“Oh?” A smirk slowly curled at his lips as he lifted his brow. “Is she already spoken for?”
“No—I-I mean, how would I know that? I don’t think she’s interested in bad guys.”
“I’m not interested in boys who kidnap people just to get their way.”
“Actually, I originally took Shen Yuan because I mistook him for you. Are you two related, by any chance?” Junshang leaned close into Shen Yuan’s space.
“Uh—psh, no. P-please. Yeah, riiiiiight. What are you talking about? I don’t know this woman at all!” Shen Yuan laughed nervously with the most unconvincing tone Shen Jiu had ever heard.
Junshang’s smirk widened. “Is that so? Then I guess she wouldn’t mind if I marry you instead?”
“...”
“... LEAF BLADE STRIKE!”
The man was arrested shortly after his defeat.
Shen Jiu landed in front of their apartment building as gently as he could. Shen Yuan, who was holding onto his brother for dear life because he was afraid of heights, stumbled onto the solid ground and let out a giant sigh of relief. A familiar broad shouldered man parted through the crowd of people and beelined toward them.
“A-Yuan!” Yue Qi did a quick search to see if Shen Yuan was injured. “I saw the news. I'm glad you're okay.”
“It was all thanks to Glittering Jade!” Shen Yuan flinched when Shen Jiu cleared his throat pointedly and then said, “I’m going home, now. Ge must be really worried about me.”
Yue Qi waved at Shen Yuan until he went into the building.
“Well, my job’s done. I’m off.”
Shen Jiu turned around and was about to fly off, when a warm hand softly grabbed his elbow.
“Ah, please wait!”
The younger man froze before glancing down at his hand and narrowed his eyes at his best friend. Yue Qi’s eyes grew wide and released his hold, scratching the back of his head as he apologized.
“I’m very grateful you rescued A-Yuan. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.”
“I save people all the time. It shouldn’t be a surprise.” Shen Jiu scowled instantly. “Are you doubting my abilities as a superhero?”
“No, of course not! You’re very capable and everyone appreciates all the work you do. I appreciate it.”
Shen Jiu crossed his arms. “Is this all you wanted to say to me?”
“A-ah, no. I… well, I don’t know how else to ask this. You might be the only one that understands this but—”
“I’M MARRIED!” Shen Jiu shouted.
Yue Qi jumped in stark surprise and blinked several times. “O-okay? Good to hear. I’m glad you have a husband who loves and supports you.”
Wait. “You… aren’t going to ask me out?”
“Huh?! No, no! I’m sorry I gave you that impression, but I’m not into women.”
Shen Jiu stood still. “Then what do you want to ask?”
“Actually, I just want your advice,” Yue Qi scratched his head, a blush blossoming across his cheeks. “There’s someone I really like. I’m always happy whenever I see him and he makes my days better when I hear his voice.”
Shen Jiu looked at the ground and scowled as if it personally offended him. Who dared to make Qi-ge the happiest person in the world? He wanted to tear this man and scorch his innards to ashes.
“Everything feels so perfect whenever I’m with him. And honestly, you remind me of him.”
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
“He’s very serious about the things he cares for, he greatly supports his brother, and he takes care of me when I’m a big fool. Which is all the time,” he explained when he noticed Shen Jiu's furrowed brows.
Wait. Did Yue Qi mean…?
Did… Yue Qi, his best friend in the entire world, mean he had feelings for … Shen Jiu?
Somehow, his blush grew redder. “I’ve wanted to confess to him for years, but I was always afraid he’d reject me. I really admire your confidence and strength, Glittering Jade-jie. Will you help me gain the courage to tell him how I feel?”
He couldn't take this anymore.
Shen Jiu grabbed Yue Qi, flew up to the top of his apartment building, and yanked him into the stairway so that there were no witnesses. His best friend stared at him with a panicked expression at how fast it all happened in a few seconds.
“I would never reject you, Qi-ge,” Shen Jiu hissed as he bunched the front of Yue Qi’s shirt in his clenched hands. “Never in my life. You should’ve confessed, coward.”
“H-huh? How do you know my name?”
“...”
Shen Jiu let out an exhausted sigh. “Clueless as ever.”
He stepped back and shouted, “Glittering Jade: Deactivate!”
A brief flash of light enveloped him before it faded to reveal his original form. After shielding his eyes, Yue Qi blinked at the person in front of him before he let out a startled noise.
“X-Xiao-Jiu? You’re Glittering Jade?!”
Shen Jiu rolled his eyes. “Yes, Qi-ge.”
Yue Qi blinked. And blinked again.
“I’ll explain later. But right now, I have something important to say,” Shen Jiu gripped at the older man’s shirt again and stared into his eyes despite his cheeks burning in embarrassment. “I like you too, you fool.”
Yue Qi froze, almost as if he couldn’t believe what he heard. But then a smile brightened his face and a giggle escaped his lips. His cheeks were a happy shade of pink. “I’m glad you like me back. I’m really glad!”
Shen Jiu launched himself into Yue Qi’s arms and clung to him as if his life depended on it.