Work Text:
delusions-of-grand-r has followed you.
Enjolras rolled his eyes, clicking on the blog name.
He opened the blog, gasping when the first thing he saw was a topless girl. He rolled his eyes and closed the tab, opening a new post to draft.
patria-oppressa:
It really annoys me when someone’s blog is NSFW nad isn’t marked as an 18+ blog on here. Like, if you follow someone who isn’t expecting it and then they open your blog to see something extremely vulgar, it’s kind of annoying. Thanks.
#Enjolras Speaks, #It’s seriously annoying, #Sorry I’m a little bit irritated
45 notes.
delusions-of-grand-r
it really annoys me when people indirect me! thanks for completely ignoring the purpose of my blog and just telling me that nipples are nsfw if theyre on a female lmao
#taire posts, # its so annoying oh my god, # // vague, #sorry right back at you for ignoring the purpose of my blog
180 notes
Grantaire was at his computer, furiously typing away on Skype.
[8:18:23] courf: you sound angry on yr blog what happened
[8:18:35] taire: some person on tumblr thinks female nipples are nsfw
[8:18:40} taire: lmao
[8:19:01] courf: yikes im sorry r
[8:19:05] taire: its not your fault im just mad
[8:19:15] courf: wait is the person you were getting mad at patria-oppressa??
[8:19:22] taire: ...yes. Why
[8:19: 30] courf: thats enjolras…………………i do a thing with him with our friends combeferre and jehan
[8:20:01] taire: WHAT
[8:20:05] taire: THATS ENJOLRAS
[8:20:10] taire: tbh not sure if i wanna kiss him or punch him
[8:20:20] courf: thats how i feel abt him a lot of the time honestly. I think thats how everyone does,,
Courfeyrac grinned behind his computer screen.
Les Amemes - minus Enj
[8:22:15] courf: GUYS
[8:22:20] crybaby: What?
[8:22:22] courf: MY FRIEND HAS A CRUSH ON ENJOLRAS
[8:22:36] ep: that friend wouldnt happen to be grantaire would it
[8:22:40] ep: he just messaged me “EPONIENE I NEED YORU MASTER LOVE ADVCIVEX DO YOU EKNWO ENJORLAS”
[8:22:45] jehan: tag yourself im grantaire
[8:23:00] ep: hey jehan can i give him your skype youre better at love than me
ep has removed crybaby from the group
[8:23:15] ep: it was necessary to remove him i wanna talk about MY love life
[8:25:00] ep: he falls in love with cosette from the cafe because he thinks shes really cute and hes in love with her and hes met her like ONCE and im so BITTER and SALTy beacause im ON MY OWN!!!! But im still pretending hes beside me bc he makes me happy but nO!!!!!! HES IN LOVE WITH COSETTE FROM THE LIQUOR STORE
[8:25:10] jehan: ep, i too love in the heights but i dont think cosette works at a liquor store????? she works at musain?
[8:25:22] ep: SHUT IT PROUVAIRE LET ME WRITHE IN MY OWN FILTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[8:25:40] ferre: im gonna add crybaby pontmercy back
[8:25:50] courf: anyway , lets get back to the enjolras grantaire thing,
ferre added crybaby to the group.
[8:26:09] ep: i dont have any idea why grantaire messaged me because hes in the next room over? hes literally my room-mate????
[8:26:30] courf: could you get him to come to a meeting sometime? he could be interested,, or something ???
[8:27:00] ep: LOL NAh he kinda thinks anything that requires effort besides art and running a blog isnt necessary,,,,,, although a cute boy might draw him out
[8:27:15] courf: we’ll see you two tomorrow!
ep added taire to the conversation
[8:28:02] taire: ep is this that activist group w the boy you like in it
[8:28:05} ep: delete yourself
ep has left the conversation
[8:28:10] taire: I KNEW IT
[8:28:30] taire: anywya whats up im grantaire/taire/r and my blog is an activism blog mostly about police brutality, bisexual erasure, and censorship issues
[8:29:06] crybaby: I’m Marius.
[8:29:15] jehan: im jehan waddup
[8:29:27] jolly boy: im joly, never tell me anything please.
[8:28:02] taire: cool! why am i in this?
[8:28:15] courf: we thought maybe you might wanna come to one of our meetings
[8:28:25] taire: i dont really want to i have a bunch of comissions
[8:28:35] taire: like a bunch of them and they all have pretty upcoming deadlines sorry :/ also i have a bottle of expensive wine calling my name ;)))
[8:29:01] courf: GRANTAIRE, WE KNOW YOU DONT REALLY HAVE ANY COMMISSIONS YOU GAVE ME YOUR SCHEDULE also combeferre drank your wine
[8:29:17] taire: THIS IS BLASPHEMY I CANT BELIEVE YOU IM ??
[8:30:09] courf: lemme add you to the All Business™ gc
Les Amis de l’ABC
[8:32:17] courf: everyone welcome grantaire, he’s coming to our meeting next week !!
[8:33:00] taire: no i’m not someone literally just commisoned me a massive piece ,, its a mural. i’ll add it to the sched later lol
[8:33:19] courf: CITE YOUR SOURCES IDIOT
[8:33:40] taire: “Mssr Grantaire,
I would like for you to paint a mural downtown in the backroom of the Cafe Musain. I will pay you $25 for every hour, and I will send you the schedule for it if you accept the offer.
Most sincerely,
Musichetta
Owner of the Cafe Musain”
[8:34:06] jolly boy: hey that’s my gf!!
[8:34:10] bossuet: mine too!
[8:34:30] taire: shes nice she also doesnt enforce the drinking limit there
[8:35:00] jolly boy: she will now. you could get alcohol poisoning!
[8:36:08] jolly boy: i looked it up on google and here are the symptoms, do you ever feel any of these things while drunk?? Or hungover??? People may experience:
Whole body: blackout, dehydration, or flushing
Cognitive: amnesia, mental confusion, or unresponsiveness
Gastrointestinal: nausea or vomiting
Behavioral: aggression or lack of restraint
Also common: depression, euphoria, problems with coordination, rapid involuntary eye movement, or slurred speech
[8:37:22] taire: no, dont worry. i mean yeah i throw up when im hungover but like,,,,,thats it
[8:38:12] jolly boy: is it ever an unusual color?
[8:38:13] jehan: okay , i need to talk to someone ,, or EVERYONE
jehan removed courf from the conversation
[8:38:46] jehan: HOW DO I WOO COURFEYRAC
[8:39:03] taire: he likes poetry??? but hes not as big abt poe as you a re,,, he also likes butterscotch schnapps and ???? apple pie ??? sorry i cant help more
[8:39:31] jehan: taire im coming over okay thanks we need to make my Woo Courfeyrac plan become a thing , , , also ep, ferre has a massivecrush on u BYE!!!!!!!!!!!
[8:40:18] ferre: JEHA NA
jehan is offline
Grantaire rolled his eyes as the door opened with a bang, Jehans heels clicking on the floor.
He heard them holler as they hit the crack in the floor, stumbling over their heels.
“I’m in here!” He called out to them. The clicking came into his room, followed by a loud sound of gum being chewed.
“Grantaire!” They smiled.
“Does everybody know where I live?”
“Ep lives here too.” Jehan said, as if that made it better.
“Alright. Anyway, woo-ing Courf.”
“Yeah. Okay, so the plan is that I ask him out using alcohol puns and then I give him a pie, how does that sound?” Jehan asked, biting the inside of their cheek.
“Sounds… great! Kinda cheesy, but Courf is a hopeless romantic at heart.”
“Cool! I’ll buy you another expensive bottle of wine for this, I swear I will.”
Jehan’s eyes fell on Grantaire’s guitar a few seconds later.
“Hey!” Their eyes got wide. “Can you play a song? You could probably woo Enj with a song. He loves music.” They grinned at him, a childish toothy grin.
“Any requests?” He asked, lugging his acoustic guitar out from the corner.
“Anything by One Direction. Or Fall Out Boy.” They smiled.
Jehan had a soft smile, one that pulled you in. It was just lips, no teeth because they hated their crooked teeth, but it felt more meaningful when they smiled at you with their teeth that way. When Jehan smiled, it felt like birds were singing at your ears, when Jehan smiled, it was a little kid on Halloween who ate too much hard candy. They had little lines by their eyes from smiling and laughing around their friends, and they were one of the best people anyone had ever met.
Grantaire dove into Of All The Gin Joints , along with Éponine harmonizing with him through the walls. Jehan rocked side to side with the song, and when it was over, they clapped. Their existence pretty much validated everyone in the entire world.
“You’re such a diverse person. You listen to so many different types of music, you pretty much read any book. You love John Green just as much as you love Shakespeare, and it’s charming. I never thought someone like you would be so charming. Also, I have no idea how you walk in those heels.” Grantaire laughed a few minutes later.
“Practice. On a treadmill.” They said grimly.
“You’re so sweet.” Grantaire smiled at them.
“Thank you. Thank you for playing guitar for me and telling me how to woo Courf!” Jehan grinned, hopping up on the balls of their feet and almost falling over in the heels they were wearing.
“Anytime, little dude.” Grantaire smiled, placing his guitar back in the corner.
“Wait!” Jehan shouted, their eyes suddenly serious.
“What is it, Prouvaire?” Grantaire asked in response, looking over at the poet.
“You’re in love with Enjolras and you need to woo him too.”
“Jehan,” The artist sighed. “I’m not in love with him.”
“Yes you are!” Jehan sang, getting on their tiptoes and pressing a kiss to Grantaire’s cheek.
“Get out of my apartment!” Grantaire called after Jehan as they grinned and ran from the apartment, slamming the door behind them.
Meanwhile, seven and a half blocks south, was Enjolras.
“Courf,” He groaned. “Why do people disrespect me online so often?”
“Uh, because you shit on their opinions?” Courfeyrac tried, taking a chug of the Jack Daniels that was sitting on the ground by Enjolras’ bed.
“I do not!” Enjolras protested in return, rolling his eyes and curling into a ball.
“Enj, you totally do. You sound like a six year old right now.”
“First of all, I am appalled that you would make such a comparison. Second of all, I definitely don’t. If I sound like anything, I sound like a twelve year old. And third of all, and or finally, I think I’m in love with this mysterious R.” Enjolras sighed, grabbing the bottle from Courfeyrac.
“You’re not in love with him. Actually, nevermind. We need to get you some lovin, touchin, squeezin! ” Courfeyrac sang, leaning onto Enjolras’ bed.
“Shut up, Courf. I’m perfectly fine.”
“Alright, Enjolras.”
-
Enjolras was Not Fine. He was totally caught up in this mysterious R person, and the possible correlation between R and the new Grantaire in the Les Amis group chat.
[3:38:52] taire: if i were to hypothetically have gotten myself arrested what would you guys do
[3:39:11] courf: well i mean you can’t have your phone in a holding cell, so i know you didnt actually get rrested but youre probaly about to gt in a bar f igth
[3:39:19] crybaby: Guys, I’m trying to sleep. Please stop.
[3:39:27] taire: shut the fuck up marius just put your phone on do not disturb
crybaby has left the conversation