Chapter Text
04/09/XX
I saw him at the library today. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. He was buried in scrolls like always, so serious, so calm. I walked past three times just to see if he’d look up. He didn’t. But still! My fizzing little heart nearly popped right out of my chest.
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05/09/XX
He said it—“Good morning, Sister.” GOOD. MORNING. SISTER. I swear the walls could’ve crumbled and I wouldn’t have noticed. My reply didn’t squeak this time either—it came out smooth, like I’d been rehearsing (which I totally did). Another Sister said it’s “just a greeting.” JUST a greeting?! I almost melted in glee. Although, I was so stunned I didn’t reply him. Stupid stupid stupid!
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07/09/XX
Okay, tiny confession: I might’ve followed him today. Just a little! He was carrying six scrolls at once, and I thought, “He’s going to drop them, and I’ll help, and our hands will touch, and sparks will fly.” But no. Of course not. He carried them all like it was nothing. He’s so… flawless. Meanwhile I nearly tripped over my own sandals.
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09/09/XX
He spoke at the afternoon service. I couldn’t tell you a single thing he said. Something about devotion? Discipline? My brain turned to bubbles the second he opened his mouth. That voice—it’s so steady, like mint poured into still water. Everyone else listened politely. I drowned. Happily drowned.
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11/09/XX
He sat next to me. NEXT TO ME. His sleeve brushed mine once and I nearly fainted. My text is ruined—I copied the same sentence three times because I was too hyperventilating. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything. (But what if he DID notice?? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh—)
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12/09/XX
Another Sister told me I should “look at other Cookies.” As if. Other Cookies don’t smell like mint and wisdom. Other Cookies don’t adjust their glasses with two fingers like that. Other Cookies don’t make my whole chest fizz until I think I’ll explode. No. It’s him. Always him.
Someday he’ll look up from his scrolls and see me. Until then, I’ll keep sparkling.
15/09/XX
Dear Diary, am I too much?
I mean, I never thought that I’d fall in love. Hard.
Am I scaring him off? Do I reek of desperation? But if I back off, who’s to say he won’t wait for me?…
Just this morning, I was sneaking glances at him. He caught my eye and raised an eyebrow. Oh gosh, he caught me staring. I would’ve willed the ground to split me open and eat me up if it wasn’t already prayer time. I feel so selfish; I wasn’t thinking and I prayed that he would like me, just a tiny bit…