Chapter Text
"What would you do if I abstracted tomorrow?" Pomni's cartoon-ish, gloved hand gripped the handle of the gun she held tighter. She was more grateful for the circus avatars being unable to sweat than ever before now.
Her wide gaze lifted from the gun, and returned up to Jax's back. She noticed the slightest slump in his posture at her question.
His head turned slightly, and his eyes had that wide, deer-in-headlights look Pomni saw so rarely.
"I'd move on," Jax's voice was oddly casual. Pomni's breath caught in her throat.
"...and probably forget about you." Jax continued, his familiar sinister, wide grin spreading across his face. There was an intensity in the way he looked at Pomni. It was strange, how he grinned so wide but his body was a bit limp and slumped.
Pomni's non-existent lips trembled. "...Okay." She clicked her tongue, a heavy sigh in her tone. "Okay." She turned away. Her hand was immeasurably shaky, enough to make the gun click and stutter at the mere touch.
Pomni pondered. What would happen? How would it feel? How would Jax...respond?
"I understand."
She knew she shouldn't. She didn't want to follow through with it. She was a strong woman, she could handle her own emotions, unlike Jax. But that didn't stop her from wondering.
She heard Jax force a laugh our behind her, "Jeez, you really can't take a joke, can you?"
Pomni gritted her teeth. Why couldn't he take any scenario seriously? It pissed her off. She wanted to teach him a lesson. She wanted to run up to him and strangle him, to launch herself at him. Maybe he would get her point.
...
No. No, he wouldn’t. He would treat it as always. Push her away, try to convince her, and himself, that it didn't bother him.
He would probably do that regardless of the situation. He's an avoidant person. Pomni wishes she knew exactly why. He pretends not to care about anyone so he doesn't gst hurt, huh. Would he care? Pomni wishes she could see what was going on where everyone who died during this adventure was kept. Pomni wondered if they could see her and Jax now. Would they call her naive, maybe too hopeful or delusional to think that Jax had more to him? Zooble would.
Pomni stared blankly at the gun in her hand. Jax seemed to stay silent behind her.
And she wondered.
Slowly, she raised the gun up, and pressed it under her chin. One life left. This wouldn’t hurt, right? It's all a simulation. Everything will be alright. It will be quick. And it will be over with in a couple hours.
And her finger hovered over the trigger. She contemplated stopping. Maybe throwing the gun at Jax, or just walking away. But she wondered.
BANG!
The gun fired through her head, leaving a crack in her plastic-rubbery skin. Her body fell back onto the floor. The simulation must have delayed the death reaction, because she could see the look on his face before she popped away. Disoriented, shocked, perhaps a little dumbfounded.
---
A banner hovered above her head. 'Loser Corner'. The others were chatting normally, although they had some sort of, cat gear on or something? Costumes? Honestly, Pomni couldn't be bothered to look any closer.
Ragatha was the first one to notice. "Wha — huh? Pomni? But — but you and Jax were a team, right? You won, together."
Zooble turned around and squinted their eyes. "Ugh... did he turn on you last second? Expected from him. You should stop expecting anything. He'll just disappoint you."
Pomni shook her head weakly. "..No, I.." Her voice trailed off. She was too exhausted to explain. "Do you...know when we get sent back?"
Everyone shook their heads. Gangle turned away and returned to a game of uno she was playing with Kinger.
"...alright then. I'm gonna sleep." Pomni sunk to the floor and leaned her head back against the wall. Her eyes slid shut, a deep breath exhaled with a sigh escaping her.
---
Pomni was jolted back to her senses by the sound of someone sliding down next to her and placing their hand on her arm. She cracked one eye open. Just as she suspected, Ragatha.
"H, hey..." Ragatha pushed a crooked smile, her eyes somewhat emotional. Pomni nodded, "Hi." She sat up straight again, her eyes half-lidded. "Who knew we could get so tired even in a digital world..." She yawned slightly and turned to face Ragatha a bit more directly. "Is there...anything you wanna talk about, or..?"
Ragatha looked away and stammered, "W-well, I was just wondering if you were...okay..? I mean, if Jax shot you, he was kinda...leading you on? You thought you guys were friends, right?"
Pomni looked down at her hands. Cartoons. She remembered what Jax said earlier. They're all not real, not human anymore. Cartoons... that's how Jax sees it? Everyone isn't a person anymore, so their feelings, their lives don't matter? Does her life matter to him? Pomni was sure enough that he did care. That he cared about everyone here. Or at least a few people. And if not that, the people she never got to meet. Kaufmo, some of the red, crossed out pictures on the doors. Those were people who abstracted. Did Jax care for them? Any of them?
"...Jax didn't shoot me." Ragatha's eyes widened, opening her mouth to reply with some sort of question on how Pomni was here with them, she figured. Pomni answered it before she got the chance to ask, "I brought this upon myself."
Ragatha pursed her threaded lips tightly, her face tensing further. "You...shot yourself? Why? Pomni, are you seriously okay?" Pomni shook her head, "No, no, it's nothing like that. I mean, I did shoot myself. But I don’t hate myself. I wanted to see what he'd do, how he would react. I wasn't thinking very thouroughly, I guess I expected to be able to see his reaction from here. Apparently not."
She leaned back against the wall again, her head hitting it harder than it should've. "...Jax is such an [$%!]hole." Ragatha grinned a bit crooked, but fixed it immediately back into her previously concerned look. "...yeah. Yeah, he is, isn't he?"