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This was a new feeling.
Well, not a new feeling, but certainly one she didn’t expect. If she were to pinpoint when it started, her best guess was a couple weeks ago. When he helped her find Ueshima-kun for their missed outing. When he took her out for some food, as friends, to get over the scene they had unfortunately witnessed. She didn’t expect it to do so much for her heart, but somehow it did. Miyako brushed it off as a one-off thing since it was such a kind thing for Himura-kun to do.
And then it kept happening.
Well not the ‘Finding Ueshima-kun and Iseya-kun in odd situations’ part, but hanging out together. She kept telling herself this is what friends do. She does it with her other friends, Himura-kun was no different. It shouldn’t be any different. It was perfectly normal to hang out with a friend every couple of days or so. This was normal. This was normal. This was norm-
If it was normal, then why was she feeling so different about it?
Why was her heart beating at lightning speeds when she saw him? Why did she feel her face heating up when she heard his voice in the halls? Why was she getting so excited when they agreed to hang out? Miyako only had one answer for all this and she wasn’t sure if it was the correct one. Even if her heart tells her it is. It was too soon. They only started hanging out more regularly. She just managed to get over her crush on Iseya-kun. She couldn’t have been starting to fall for someone else so fast. Could she?
The question loomed over her mind as she found herself in front of 2-C. The door was wide open and yet she felt she couldn’t see anything inside. Was he there? If he was, was he alone or talking to Ueshima-kun? If Ueshima-kun was there, would that mean Iseya-kun was there too? If all three boys were there, would there be room for her in their conversation? So many questions, so few answers, so little-
“Inoue-chan? You’ve been standing in the door for the past few minutes. Are you okay?” A voice snapped her out of her thoughts as she looked up to see Ueshima-kun giving her a worried look.
“Oh! I’m so sorry! I meant to come inside!” Despite the excuse, Miyako remained where she was.
“It’s okay, we were just about to head out. I heard you were going to hang out with Keisuke today?” he replied with a small smirk as he pointed at the back of the room. Himura-kun and Iseya-kun were looking at the door. At her. If her face wasn’t bright red from Ueshima-kun finding her in such a state, this was certainly worse.
“Ah-Ah yeah! I-” She couldn’t find the words to finish her sentence. And Miyako found herself far too embarrassed to say anything else. Instead opting to wave from the door. The two boys gave small waves and smiles. And she felt like her heart was about to explode.
In that moment of absolute panic, Himura-kun and Iseya-kun had gotten their bags and came up to the front. She couldn’t miss Iseya-kun and Ueshima-kun joining hands as soon as the former had joined them. The jealousy in her heart didn’t come. Which at this point was a massive relief. She wasn’t sure what she would do if she had lingering feelings for Iseya-kun. Her blooming feelings for Himura-kun were already a lot to deal with anyways.
The four of them continued chatting in the halls about a topic Miyako could hardly remember. Once they had gotten to the front doors, Ueshima-kun and Iseya-kun parted ways from them, leaving her and Himura-kun alone.
Alone.
Before, this would have been fine, now? Please someone help her before she faints. Well, she won’t faint, but she feels like she might. Maybe she will. Oh boy. Alone with him. All alone…
*
“Inoue-chan? Are you okay? You’ve been awfully quiet today,” Himura-kun asked as he handed over a melonpan and sat down.
“AH! Don’t worry I’m okay! Really…” The panic in her voice clearly signaled she was not okay. And unfortunately for her, he noticed as well.
“You sure? You know you can talk to me about anything now.” The soft smile he gave her did nothing to help calm her nerves. But she had nowhere to run or hide.
‘O-Of course! But I promise it’s nothing!” She wasn’t convincing anyone as she took too big of a bite of her melonpan.
They ate in silence as Miyako tried her hardest to bury her words in the sweet bread. She could feel his subtle glances burn into her skull as he continued to say nothing. Which was fine! As long as he wasn’t verbally questioning her, she had no reason to say anything! Which is perfect! The less she could accidentally say, the better! This was absolutely perfect!
…She couldn’t eat her melonpan fast enough.
“Inoue-chan? Are you sure you’re okay?” Himura-kun asked as soon as there was no more melonpan to hide behind.
No longer able to hide, Miyako took a deep breath, “I...I guess there is something. But I’m not sure how to…express it. I suppose.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” The question burned a hole in her heart. Did she want to talk about it? Did she want to admit she has a crush on the boy next to her? Was it too soon? What is too soon-
“Inoue-chan?”
“Oh! Sorry…I don’t think I’m ready. I’m really sorry.”
“No, no. It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”
“Thank you, Himura-kun.”
“Any time. See you on Monday.” And she watched him walk in the other direction.
Her heart was in her throat, she felt like she was going to explode. She knew deep down she couldn’t confess. Maybe it was fear leftover from the last time, or she isn’t sure if her feelings are genuine, but she knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t do that to Himura-kun. They were just starting to become good friends, there’s no way Miyako was going to throw all that out over her feelings. And she doesn’t have any idea if he even feels the same way!
Well.
*
“C’mon Keisuke! You gotta tell her!”
“Are you insane? I can’t just tell her I’ve felt this way this whole time!”
“Sure you can! It worked out for me!”
“Souta, it was a disaster on all fronts.”
“BUT! It worked out in the end!”
“That doesn’t give me any hope.”
“C’mon, you have it way easier. Inoue definitely likes you back.”
“How would you know?”
“Because, she becomes a tomato every time she sees you. That absolutely means she likes you.”
“...Don’t describe her face as a tomato again.”
“You know what I mean!”
She wasn’t meant to overhear this conversation.
But now that she has, a newfound wave of relief and anxiety washed over her. On one hand, he did like her back, on the other, how could she move forward with this information? How does she bring it up, if at all? Does she keep quiet until he’s ready? He did give her time, it’s only right she does the same. But she knows something he wasn’t ready to tell her yet. And that’s not right at all…
“Inoue-chan? How long have you been there?” She hadn’t noticed she stepped out of her hiding spot when Ueshima-kun called out to her.
Suppressing the immediate panic, she replied, “Oh, not long! I just got here!” Nice save, let’s see if they buy it.
“Oh okay. Well, I gotta go, see ya later!” And before either of them could react, Ueshima-kun was gone like the wind.
And then there were two.
She didn’t know what to do. Sure she said she just came here, thus implying she didn’t hear their conversation, but it didn’t erase the bubbling panic within. If she didn’t know any better, she would have blurted out something about their conversation. Thankfully, she didn’t need to do that. Or well, unfortunately she didn’t need to.
“How much did you hear?” Himura-kun’s question nearly rendered her speechless.
“I-I..uhh…Well…” She didn’t even try and her cover was already blown. Activating apology. “I’m really sorry! I swear I didn’t mean to hear anything! I understand if you aren’t comfortable-”
“Inoue-chan. It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Huh?
“What? Are you sure?”
“Positive. And don’t worry about whether you want to respond. You don’t need to.” The reassuring smile he gave her twisted her heart in a way she didn’t like at all.
“No! I…I…I want to make this right. I don’t want you to wait, but just give me a bit, okay?” Miyako didn’t know why she was pleading so much, but it was the only way she knew how.
“Of course.” The hand placed on her was surprisingly comforting. For a moment, it felt like everything would be okay.
“Thank you, Himura-kun. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
The soft chuckle he let out swelled up her heart, “I’m sure you will.”
*
It was a few days later.
They agreed to meet after school and finally lay everything out. It felt like a stereotypical Shoujo-Romance scene, except it was really cold and there were no pretty flowers flowing in the wind to give off such an atmosphere. Instead there was a wind threatening to blow her note right out of her hands. But she held on tight, knowing that the outcome of today would finally put her mind at ease.
A couple moments later, she heard footsteps coming up ahead. Squinting through the wind blowing into her face, she managed to recognize the boy walking towards her. His cheeks were pinker than usual, from the cold or otherwise she wasn’t sure. But the smile on his face told her everything. It was going to be okay.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
“How have you been?”
“Great. Nervous, but great. You?”
“Nervous, but I think it’ll get better soon.” At least she wasn’t alone in this.
There was a comfortable silence before he pulled out a note of his own and handed it to her. She felt her cheeks warm up as she stared at his note dumbfoundedly. For what reason, she wasn’t sure, but after coming back to her senses, she held out hers and they exchanged. Miyako felt her heart beating faster than it ever had before, but soon, it would calm down. Carefully opening the note, every word made her face heat up even more.
She had never received a proper confession before, nor had she ever given one either. Today finally ended that notion. And it was to and from someone who shared those feelings. No unintended outbursts, no harsh rejections, no tears. Only hope, warm cheeks and a blossoming romance.
“So what do you say?”
“I’d love to, Himura-kun.”
“Keisuke.”
“Hm?”
“You can call me Keisuke.”
“Then I’d love to, Keisuke.” She’d never felt so giddy before, it was a wonderful feeling. “And I extend that calling to you as well.”
“Thank you, Miyako. I’ll make it worth your time.”
All I need are the things I like,
And I really like you.
*
Dear Himura-kun,
I like you. I mean, I really like you. Ever since we started hanging out more, I felt a warm feeling inside. I thought it was friendship, but I realized it was so much more than that. I wasn’t sure if I should tell you, but after everything, I knew I couldn’t hold it in anymore. So here it is.
I like you, will you be so kind as to go out with me?
-Miyako
*
Inoue-chan,
I’m not good at expressing this kind of feeling. But for you, I’ll try. I had this in me for a while, I know it sounds embarrassing, but it’s true. I wasn’t sure if I should tell you, I wasn’t even sure if you’d feel the same way. I mean…Yeah. But now that I know, I feel a lot more confident in telling you. And it makes me really, really happy.
I really like you, Inoue, will you go out with me?
-Keisuke