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It’s been too many years. They’ve been friends for many years, and it was a little shocking to Jiung that they were still going strong. Although, Jiung’s not that strong. He’s been keeping a secret for 4 years now, that’s literally the number of years they’ve been in the group, not even counting their predebut days. He wants to jump on the walls, he wants to rip his heart out, he wants to claw the floorboards, he—he’s in love with Intak and he doesn’t know what he wants to do about it.
Should he just say it? Or just ignore it like he has been doing the past years? It doesn’t hurt per se. He doesn’t feel a strong urge to just say he loves Intak with his whole chest every time they’re in close proximity, but it gets to a point. He knows he has this yearning look, Keeho keeps teasing him about it. He knows he lingers around Intak way too much but everyone else dismisses it as ‘they’re literally best friends, it’s normal for them.’ Jiung is hyper aware of the type of person he is when he’s with Intak, especially when they’re alone. But somehow, Intak thinks he is special for having access to that one side of Jiung when they’re alone. Jiung who is a little softer-looking, quieter and cuter. Who said that!
“You’re staring. Again.” Taeyang said nonchalantly. They were in the waiting room, three hours before their concert, gobbling their dinner and resting their voices. Jiung cleared his throat, downing water in one go. He doesn’t have it in him to deny it anymore. He thinks he’s pretty obvious but nobody’s doing anything about it. Keeho was at the mirrors getting his hair done while he looks up different TikTok videos he wants to do later, or more like force the members to do later. Shota and Jongseob were somewhere at the arcade station, throwing basketball into the hoops like they’re 15 again. Intak… well. He was literally lounging on the couch, dressed in just his black tank top, watching something on his phone with his ears covered in the headphones Jiung bought him 2 birthdays ago. Nothing appealing but somehow, he’s still so captivating. Could be the bare face, the face that Jiung watched as it grew out of his baby features. The face that allured Jiung eons ago. The face that Jiung so badly wants to kiss right now.
Jiung ignores Taeyang, as he always does. Taeyang doesn’t mind it, that’s their dynamic and he doesn’t plan on changing it anytime soon. Taeyang then whispers, “You should really talk to him.” Jiung squeezes his eyes shut, he hopes he can ignore the pending headache. Taeyang tsked him and went back to finishing (trying) the last bits of his bento meal. Jiung stops staring, finishes up his dinner and goes to make his tea, following the ritual he sets for himself.
It's kinda funny because two days prior to their concert day, Intak had begged Taeyang to switch rooms with him. Had been so adamant about wanting to room with Keeho instead because Taeyang would agree anyway. They’ve only spent one night in the hotel, rooming based off age order. Jiung thinks it’s fair, it’s literally the simplest plan. But somehow, the first night felt a little awkward. Was it just Jiung who felt it? Answer was no, because he had Taeyang and Keeho calling him, asking him what happened. Jiung has no fucking clue. As far as Jiung remembers, he’s been more open, more reciprocative of his member’s habits. Intak, too, has toned down a lot, biting back the things that he usually does with other members and is a bit more considerate when it comes to Jiung. They’ve always been comfortable with each other, never stepping over each other’s feet anymore, rarely fights and have shared their views on certain topics on nights where they talked about anything and everything.
Taeyang had raised a brow at Jiung when Jiung couldn’t form a reply. But when they asked Intak again, he stayed mum. Taeyang and Keeho felt like strangling them both, they of course did not agree to the room change. That night was way quieter than other nights they’ve spent together. But it doesn’t kill Jiung. It really didn’t, even though he could hear his thoughts as clear as day, choosing to shut them up with earmuffs. He did feel Intak lingering nearby his bed for a few minutes before moving into his own and then hearing soft snores which meant Intak had fallen asleep. Jiung pushes the thoughts away, doesn’t ask about it anymore. He just wants to kiss Intak so badly right now though.
“Snap out of it. We have a concert to do in a few minutes!” Keeho nudges Jiung’s side. Jiung couldn’t point out what he did that could warrant such a reaction from Keeho, but he deflates anyway. They did their last minute stretches, shaking off the last bits of fatigue and letting the adrenaline take them away. Intak subconsciously gave Jiung a squeeze on the shoulder before the stage doors open, revealing P1Harmony to the cheering audience. It sparks something in Jiung, felt like motivation buzzed through his veins as he opens the first song.
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Encore stages were his favorite. They didn’t have to dance, they could roam the stage or surf the crowd, interacting with almost every fan in the venue. The best part was that he knew the fans were enjoying it as much as he does. Even though there were plenty of phones pointed at him while he walks through the crowd, he could see the fans’ genuine smiles and some of them would dance with him or hype him up. Jiung loves this, he loves his fans, he loves his job. Another thing Jiung loved was playing with his members on stage as they sang the song in a more carefree manner. They come out with an impromptu dance, they make silly faces to each other, they interact freely like they had the whole world to themselves. Jiung wasn’t taken aback when Intak was next to him, hyping them both up with a silly dance, Jiung immediately understanding what Intak wants them to do. They samba-ed on stage, smiles never leaving their faces as they sang their parts with more vigor. Confetti blasting out from the sides were the cherry on top. It adds to the adrenaline, the vibes, the happiness. And alas, when the last song ended and the stage lights dims, Keeho made the members say their last ment and they did their final bow before waving to every corner of the stadium, showing gratitude to every fan that was present. As the feeling lingers, the members continue waving till the stage door completely closes. They were ushered off the platform. Mics, jackets and accessories were removed. The boys were still buzzing, talking about how much fun they had, and which stage was their favorite. Thank God they already took several pictures before going on stage because Jiung felt like melting into the floor the moment he changed his shoes.
Bowing to the staffs once again as they bid farewell, the boys headed to their cars. Jiung stumbled a bit, the headache came right on time. Intak managed to hold him up, opening the front door for Jiung to enter. Jiung whispers a thank you, as he normally does. Intak sits right behind, minding where he placed his foot because they already brought up the discomfort of Intak constantly stepping on Jiung’s seatbelt. Jiung could feel the shift, it was mild but it’s still there. He didn’t mind it, letting himself nap a little as they head back to the hotel.
Not gonna lie, Jiung felt a little drunk, like he drank 15 bottles of soju straight. It was the adrenaline still rushing in him and he knows he’s going to crash out so bad the moment he hits his bed. Intak could sense that, subtly guiding his roommate back to their room. As much as Jiung wants to cocoon himself straight away, he has to shower first, hating the idea of outside clothes on a clean bed. Intak knows this, of course he does, he has been observing his best friend for years. He lets Jiung take a shower, checking up on him once because it was over 15 minutes and there was suddenly no movement in the toilet. “I’m okay!” Jiung shouts back, he almost fell asleep with the way the warm water was hitting his back. He took another 5 minutes to finally come out with the comfiest pajamas Intak has ever seen. He kinds of recognizes it as a gift from Shota. “Your turn. Sorry I took a bit longer.” Jiung rolls onto his bed. Intak smiles, endeared. “You can sleep first, I’ll off the lights when I’m done.” Jiung gives him a thumbs up, rolling over once more to charge his and Intak’s phone by the nightstand. Intak felt his face reddened, they were so used to it that they didn’t realize just how boyfriend they could be sometimes. Intak goes to shower, taking a little longer and he washes his thoughts away with Jiung’s shampoo.
Jiung could feel the fatigue washing over him, but his eyes are not closing. Maybe it was the nap he had earlier. Jiung scratches his scalp in annoyance. He stayed still on his bed, he’s already tucked in under the covers but, sleep just won’t come. He could hear Intak drying his hair inside the toilet, a little shuffling here and there and Intak was out. Intak didn’t see Jiung’s wide awake state, moving quietly as he switched off the toilet light and the main light, letting the headboard lights give the room a cozy feel without it being so glaring. As Intak checked his notifications one last time, Jiung let out a soft sigh. “Intak-ah,” Intak almost jumped out of his skin, focusing on Jiung who was staring at the ceiling with a tired smile.
Intak hums back as a reply, Jiung moves his head slightly, now they’re looking at each other. Intak lets Jiung collect his thoughts, blatantly staring at Jiung. He knows he was wearing his heart on his sleeve at the moment, he felt safe. “Intak-ah,” Jiung tries again, a little louder but not loud enough to break the comfortable ambience. Intak gives a small nod, encouraging Jiung to continue. “Do you—do you like.” Jiung stumbles over his words, face immediately turning red. “Do you like me?” Jiung figures it was the excess adrenaline talking but it felt so right to spill his heart out right at that moment. It felt oddly intimate in a way, there’s only both of them with the sound of their steady breathing, the world muffled out. Jiung tries not to stare but he couldn’t break the eye contact Intak’s holding, relaying his emotions as the night deepens.
“Do you? Because to be completely honest, I’ve liked you for a long time.” Jiung shifts into a more comfortable position. “Maybe it was the way you were so persistent in getting close to me. Maybe it was how your presence brightens up the room. Maybe it was that night we spent my birthday at the convenience store, eating Choco pie with a makeshift candle because we were broke.” Intak drops his head, letting out a quiet laugh. He starts fiddling with his fingers as he hears Jiung’s confession. Jiung, too, lets out a laugh, “Maybe it’s because everyone says we’re the least compatible duo, but I would love to think that we’re made for each other. Being literal opposites, I learned a lot from you. Through admiration and respect, I think I fell in love with you.” Jiung’s words starts slurring, fading a little in volume. “I’ve loved you for as long as you’ve been my friend. I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t want us to stop being friends.” Jiung’s breathing gets steadier, like he’s about to cry but also relieved that he spilled everything he wanted. “I hope you like me back.”
Intak smiles, lopsided. He waits for Jiung to continue but all he heard was soft breathing. Intak looks up, Jiung was asleep. Intak laughs, not loud enough to wake the other, but loud enough to feel warmth blooming in his chest. He couldn’t stop smiling, he’s just as whipped for Jiung, and Jiung has no idea. Intak moves closer to Jiung’s bed, kneeling and placing his chin on top of his folded arms on the bed. He stares at Jiung’s sleeping face, he was knocked out, the last of the adrenaline finally letting him rest. Intak tucks some of Jiung’s longer bangs behind his ear. He hopes Jiung could hear him even though he seems to already be dreaming about anything and everything. “I love you too, Choi Jiung.”
---
The two sat next to each other during breakfast with matching shy faces. Taeyang couldn’t give a fuck, it was 8 in the morning, and he wants to stay in, but they have to catch a flight in 5 hours. Keeho was looking at them suspiciously. Jongseob eats his sandwich in silence, voice a little worn out from screaming because of a stupid little game he played with Shota. “Did you two finally confessed? Are you together now?” Shota asks, dismissing everyone’s reactions. He just wants answers. Intak and Jiung’s face went pink. Shota clasped his hands together, “I’ll take that as a yes.” And everyone went back to breakfast like it was normal occurrence.
Jiung loves this about his members. They never made a big deal of things that didn’t need to be. He loves how accepting his members are, how they’re willing to listen to each other’s concerns even how silly it sounds. Their dynamic is perfect. But most of all, Jiung loves Intak. Intak loves Jiung. Nothing much changed after. They were still the Jiung that thinks before he speaks and the Intak that sorts his thoughts as he speaks. Despite what everyone thinks, everyone knows they’re made for each other.