Chapter Text
You're nearly asleep when Alexis speaks.
Nestled against him under the covers, your head settled on his chest, you soak in the warmth of his bare skin flush with yours. The door to the balcony lets in a cool evening breeze, left open from when you’d finished a bottle of wine together and forgotten to close it. You both stumbled inside, locked in an embrace that only ended when you fell laughing upon the bed and your tipsy fumbling evolved into heated passion.
“Hey, babe?”
Alexis’s tentative voice draws you awake, but not by much.
“Mm?” you hum sleepily.
“How are you… feeling?”
“So nice,” you murmur, eyes still closed.
It takes a moment for him to talk again, and when he does, you catch what underlies it.
“How about with me?”
You sigh and wrap your arms around his neck, half-opening your eyes.
“You make me feel so safe,” you tell him.
“Oh, well—” he pauses, and looks at you, surprised. “I mean, I’ll always do what I can to protect you.”
You smile softly at him. “I know,” you say. “That’s not what I mean.”
His brow furrows slightly, and you shift to level your gaze with his. You reach up to touch his cheek.
“I know what you’re thinking,” you say. “That I’ve got others who can protect me. Carmilla, Saber, even your dad. Or that I can handle myself. That maybe…” and you stroke your fingers lightly down his face, before continuing in a whisper, “I don’t need you anymore.”
His breath catches.
“And it’s true, they can protect me, and I myself. But nobody makes me feel the way you do. Anyone can fight beside me in a battle. You’re the only one I trust to patch me up, bring me home, and take care of me.”
Your thumb brushes against his lower lip and he shivers.
“You mean that? What about—” he breaks off, glancing away.
Gently, you turn him back to you. There’s a subtle pain in his eyes. “What about what?”
“I thought… I don’t know. I’ve seen how you look at Raven.”
“You don’t have to worry about Raven,” you assure him. “They’ll never take your place, okay?”
“Okay,” he says, sounding relieved.
It doesn’t matter what exactly hides beneath your lines—regardless of what Raven is to you, the truth is that they can’t be Alexis or fill the gap that he’s carved into your heart and settled into.
Still, it eats at him.
“…Why me?”
Oh, the hesitancy in his voice sends a pang through your chest. How long has that question simmered? Have you been so oblivious to the doubt churning inside him?
Careful now, you lean in close, giving him nowhere to look but you. “Everybody always needs me to be something else to them. Now, more than ever, I have to be so much to so many people… you only ever wanted me for myself.”
His eyelids flutter, and the hurt begins to fade.
“When I’m with you, and it’s just us, not a thing in the world could harm me. I feel safe in your arms—safe to let my guard down, to breathe, to just be. To know you won’t judge me. You’ve been my best friend for forever…”
You pause. He looks at you in wonder, and that sweet, open face is part of why you fell in love with him all those years ago.
“You feel like home, Alexis.”
He closes the distance and kisses you.
You melt into it, his soft lips pressing so tenderly against yours. When you deepen the kiss, you pour in all you can and hope the message gets across: complete adoration of the man in your arms, a devotion spanning so much time you can’t remember what your life was like without him, and a promise that no replacement could possibly exist.
You part, lingering for a moment to press your forehead against his.
“I love you, Alexis,” you whisper.
He sighs, all the tension drawn out of him. “I love you too. More than you’ll ever know.”
You place another quick kiss on his lips, sealing the vow—you never want to hear another “why me?” again. From now on, you’ll show Alexis exactly what he means to you, as often as he needs you to.
You relax your hold and curl into his side. Soon enough, his breathing softens, the tell-tale sign that he fell asleep. As warm and content as you are, it doesn’t take long for you to follow him.