Work Text:
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The computers and monitors all around Bashir beep and ding, the not so rhythmic melodies soon then turned annoying, piercing through to his sensitive eardrums.
𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘥?
He unsteadily starts to put the Padd's down loudly everytime he goes to pick up another one and does this over and over till he hears another loud beep just 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 in his ear and finally jolts up from his chair while slamming his hands on the surface he was working on, something was just 𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 through at his mind, and it wasn't the obnoxious choice of station computer notification sound, if you will excuse me as in matter of fact,
It had something to concern with his identity and..
who he really is.
Or was anyway at this point.
He frustratingly paces around the eerily empty infirmary, he always just always has to worry about everything and anything- he trails around in his cluttered head how much he thought,
𝘢𝘮 𝘪 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘴? 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘯? 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦-
𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴.
He stops for a moment.
He already absolutely hates his parents, what more is there anyway to that, deep space nine was the lingering evidence- the evidence that shows just how far he wanted to desperately be as far as he could possibly be from those 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 that took him, a part of him-
He sits down on a nearby chair, closing his eyes hard and then begins taking in a deep breath
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦n
𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘧? 𝘈 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥'𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵? 𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘴?
No it couldn't be, he desperately tried to think, over and over, it felt like a endless maze of buts and howevers, it made his stomach churn with frustration
His eyes were beginning to burn like acid, slowly he slumped down, he pushed hard- his palms into his face, repeating the words mentally over and over
𝘸𝘩𝘺?
He couldn't afford to cry loudly nor actually cry while he was on duty, at least not until he steps a foot inside his quarters, but it seems so far- too far away.
"𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳..?"
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Bashir instinctively wiped his face rapidly and stood up, dusting himself down then as he looked up to see who it was, he sighs.
Garak.
"𝘖𝘩 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴.."
They stood awkwardly for a beat before garak broke the silence, eyes darting across the quiet infirmary, Bashir sniffs through his stuffy nose and garak gently grabs Julian's shoulder, turning him to exit the infirmary towards the clothing shop garak only just closed a few minutes ago.
𝘪 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘸𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯.. 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦..- 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦, 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳?"
Elim gently whispered, walking Bashir by along, then upon reaching the shop just across, closed the doors to the amusement of the people nearby, and soon there then they both settled down, garak brought some tea along and you might be asking yourself-
Why does he care so much?
Years of knowing someone, years of trusting them, years of their troubles, it truly does a lot to someone particularly when the other party is troubled even if you're not the one for feelings- or expressing them, it would still affect anyone.
And so on and so on, then Bashir wrapped his hands around the warm mug, and slowly started explaining, rolling out words, trying to make it just comprehensible enough for Elim to understand, he rambled on, letting go of the bottled thoughts, pain, the weight and garak reassured, he listened all through it, to Julian exhale shakily after sobbing, to him taking anger out on himself, it had to be a weight on his shoulders, the whole world's weight. Elim had a few heavy thoughts every now and then but that very much compared nothing to the very existence of bashir's mental torture.
𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸?
They both took a walk after that, if Julian could still accept and forgive garak after all what happened before- what's to stop Elim for doing the very same for Bashir? For them. There during some point halfway through their walk, garak looked at Julian as they passed the clear windows of the station, the stars scattered across the ever unknown black canvas, constellations and galaxies glowing, shining through the darkness, binary Stars. Seen from far enough away- they shine bright as one,
And while he flickered his eyes all over Julian, an apparent shade of blue emerged all over Garaks face, as he realized slowly from his observations.
𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳.
𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘯!
Maybe staying on this station isn't so bad after all, maybe getting back to cardassia doesn't have to be a top priority, garak thought as the two very pettily argued on and on about many literatures of their Homeworlds then soon, the two stopped by one of the others quarters, having been exhausted from the past events and spent the rest of the night there.
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