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just sit down

Summary:

Sonoda's waiting for Professor Sakaki to show up for lunch, but when he finally arrives, he has a bit of a problem settling in...

Notes:

This was funnier when my wife and I discussed it last night. Oh well.
It's just a silly standalone story so don't take it too seriously. :p

~~~

Contains spoilers for Gakuen Heaven 2. If you intend to play the game yourself, reading this may ruin your fun a bit. :)

Originally posted here:
Adults Always Lie

If you want to know more about the Gakuen Heaven series, please visit my fansite for game translations and summaries:
welcome to Heaven

Work Text:

Fall 2017

Sonoda Eiji checked his cell phone for the tenth time in the past two minutes, heaving a sigh. "Late again," he grumbled, casting a nervous glance at the surrounding tables. The new cafe was popular, thanks to the reasonable prices and a glowing review published in a local magazine, so it was pretty crowded. It didn't help that it was a Sunday morning, pretty much the worst time to be trying out any place that was even remotely popular. He'd had to defend the empty chair at his table more than once, insisting that someone would be coming soon to claim it. As the minutes wore on, the resentment of the other patrons began to eat at his consciousness, and a girl who was standing beside her friends at a nearby table was openly glaring.

Damnit, Professor, why do you have to be late today of all days?! Hurry up already!

Fortunately, Sonoda was rescued from another attempt on the chair by Professor Sakaki's appearance, a full fifteen minutes late. He was less put together than usual, Sonoda thought, noting his slightly damp hair, untucked shirt, and tired expression.

"Heh, what's with you? You look like a wreck."

"Shut up, Sonoda," the professor muttered, jerking the chair out from under the table and making as if to sit down. Except instead of sitting, he kind of hovered over the seat for a few seconds, a vague frown on his lips. As Sonoda watched, the professor seemed to brace himself for something, drawing in a deep breath and squeezing his eyes shut as he eased into the seat with comical slowness. Even so, he still winced as he settled into the chair.

"The hell is that?" Sonoda snorted. "You really are getting old if sitting down is such an ordeal."

The professor rolled his eyes. "I'm not even thirty yet, Sonoda. Don't be ridiculous."

"Hmph," Sonoda sipped at his mango smoothie, "well, if it's not premature arthritis, what's the problem? Don't tell me you exercised too much during the week or something. Too many squats?"

"Just leave it, Sonoda," Sakaki grumbled, picking up the menu.

"Hmm, I'm just being concerned about you, Professor. Why would your hips or butt or whatever be hurting you... so... much..." The realization hit Sonoda with the force of a slap, and his already pale face completely drained of color. "Oh my god, seriously?!? You let Yuki-kun do that?!"

Sakaki's face was hidden behind the menu, but his tone made it clear that he was embarrassed. "Shut up, Sonoda."

"Yeah, but if you knew he was gonna do such a bad job--"

"I didn't know he'd be terrible," Sakaki grumbled irritably, "though I suspected it. No one's great at anything the first time. And you know how easily Asahina gets carried away."

Sonoda's cheeks pinked. "Ugh, gross, keep your TMI to yourself!"

Sakaki set down the menu, still blushing faintly, but his lips were twisted into a harsh smile as he fired back, "I told you to shut up. If you go fishing for information, don't blame me when you catch something you didn't really want to know. Anyway, speaking of awkward sex, how are things going with you and Jokawa?"

Sonoda's shrill outburst could probably be heard a block away.

"Heh," Sakaki smirked at his cousin. "Serves you right."

~ end ~

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