Work Text:
Eins.
Zwei.
Drei.
Vier.
Konrad Adenauer repeatedly counted to 4 every day.
It wasn't because he enjoyed doing it, it was because he HAD to do it. If he didn't, a third world war would break out.
At least that's what he thought.
He didn't know exactly where this fear came from, he just knew something bad was going to happen if he didn't count to 4.
It had to be 4. Exactly 4.
Another thought. This time it was him killing JFK.
He hit his desk exactly 5 times.
Of course, Adenauer didn't want to kill JFK (despite having arguments with him in the past), but this thought, this STUPID FUCKING THOUGHT that has absolutely NO FACTS to back it up, always found a way to make him anxious.
Eins.
Zwei.
Drei.
Vier.
Fünf.
Sechs.
Sechs?!
Adenauer started to panic. He hit the desk six times. That's not supposed to happen. He's going to kill Kennedy if he doesn’t do it the right way. The world is going to end all because of him and how he failed his stupid counting ritual.
His anxiety attacks always came after a failed ritual, sometimes even evolving into panic attacks. His heart was racing and his whole body was shaking as he tried to calm down.
Mach es noch einmal.
Adenauer didn't listen. He was too focused on the worst outcomes if he didn't do it correctly. He started to anxiously walk around the Federal Chancellery, his breathing short and fast.
Eins.
Zwei.
Drei.
Vier-
Nein, nein, nein. Du hast zu schnell gezählt.
Noch einmal. Richtig.
But every time he tried to do it, it came out either too fast or too slow, which made his anxiety attack worse. Adenauer frantically hit the desk over and over again, trying to correct the mistake.
Eins.
Zwei.
Drei.
Vier.
Fünf.
He inhaled to calm down. He did it right. Kennedy isn't dead. But even though it's been years since all these rituals first appeared, he still didn't tell anyone. He didn't want to tell anyone because he's scared of what the world would think of him.
Adenauer lay on the floor, tired. He just wanted it to stop, but it wouldn't. He didn't know how to make it stop.
Another war.
He gets up and counts. Again.