Work Text:
Songs from the radio echoed around the room. The LED lights were turned on. The outside world is already dark.
But not in Minjeong's case.
The blonde-haired woman was still curled up in her blanket. Her phone was still in her hands, doomscrolling whatever she could scroll, and she got entertainment from it. Minjeong hated nights like this, no one to talk with, nothing she could interact with. It was only her phone and her body.
Tired eyes were scanning every Instagram story she tapped. Minjeong could see Yizhuo at a party with Aeri, then Ryu was having a me time at a cafe, and there was Jake fishing with Leehan. Then she stopped at one story of a girl, who was maybe at her age, posted a picture of her and Minjeong holding racquets.
Minjeong squinted her eyes. She did not remember that she played badminton with that person.
“Huh….” Minjeong put her phone down, and her eyes darted to the ceiling to seek answers.
But none of it came.
She scratched her non-itchy head, then checked her phone to see the picture again. This time, Minjeong carefully scanned the picture. The picture was a bit blurry because it was taken at night. Minjeong could see herself behind the person, a racket placed in front of her face. The other person did that too. The other woman had long dark hair, which did not help Minjeong to know who that was. Minjeong’s eyes scanned the whole post, and she saw a caption near the photo.
‘I miss you.’
Minjeong could feel her head spinning. Why would she follow a stranger on her second account? She only accepted her friends to follow it.
“Should I ask her…?” Minjeong muttered to herself. She pressed the ‘reply story’ button, then stopped for a minute to contemplate. “Hmm… yeah, I should– this is my second account after all.”
Then she typed.
‘Hello! I'm sorry, but have we met before?’
Not so long after, the person replied.
‘Yes, we met at high school, Minjeong.’
High school? That was long ago
Minjeong did not remember that she was friends with this person in high school. She did not remember anything about her face, her voice, even her name– oh her name! Maybe Minjeong will remember her by name.
Minjeong's eyes darted to the username after minutes of ignoring it. She read it carefully, but still did not remember the person.
“Karina Yu…?”
xXx
“Do you want to watch Jurassic World with me, Jeongie?”
Minjeong sighed at the other girl’s question. This is the tenth time Minjeong has heard the same question while doing her assignment.
“I'll watch it with you, unnie, after I'm finished, okay?”
The older girl nodded with a pout. She knew Minjeong would take a lot of time to finish her work. On the other hand, Jimin was bored, bored. She did not have any assignments and barely joined any activities other than college. Maybe her major was not as hectic as Minjeong’s.
Minjeong was too immersed in her laptop and ignored Jimin’s existence beside her. Sometimes, Minjeong was brought back to reality when Jimin leaned on her shoulder or gave random hugs from behind.
The campus library was extremely quiet and empty today. Minjeong’s mouse click could be heard from a thousand miles away, and Jimin could swear it could wake up a hibernating bear.
“Do you have any plans today, unnie?” asked Minjeong while she was stretching her body. It took seconds for Jimin to recall this day’s future events; she was really careful not to hurt her favorite person.
“I think….” Jimin tapped her lips with her finger. “I’ll go home with Sam today, he wants to meet me.”
Minjeong did not know why her heart sank after hearing that. It wasn't new for Minjeong to hear some boys were taking their shots for Jimin– just look at her. Very charming, beautiful, talented, smart…. and other adjectives.
“Sam?”
Jimin nodded, faced Minjeong while talking. “Yes, he's my classmate. We've been talking for a while.”
The other girl nodded, hiding the sadness that was slowly appearing on her face. She didn't want Jimin to know about it, and maybe Jimin will say Minjeong’s insane for thinking like that.
xXx
The school bell rang; it was the end of today’s school day.
Minjeong was on her way to the canteen to buy some snacks on her way home, but not long after that, she bumped into a familiar figure.
“Ah, Minjeongie hii!”
A taller girl with round glasses hanging on her nose. She was holding a half-eaten bread already. “Fancy meeting you here,”
A faint blush appeared on Minjeong’s cheek. She did not know whether it was the hot weather or the presence of the other girl. “Hi… Jimin unnie….” She trailed off, her eyes wandering everywhere except the other girl’s eyes.
Jimin was Minjeong’s senior. Their first meeting was very random at a library; Minjeong was reading her book there while Jimin went to pick up some student council things (which Minjeong didn't wanna know about). Their conversation began when Jimin saw Minjeong reading her favorite series.
“Wanna walk together?” Asked the taller girl. She gave Minjeong a banana milk and then sat beside Minjeong. The other girl sheepishly nodded. Minjeong did not know why Jimin’s presence always made her heart skip a beat. Minjeong did not know why she wanted Jimin to be by her side every day. Minjeong also did not know why she wanted to give a peck to the other girl’s beautiful lips.
Minjeong also did not know why her chest ached whenever a boy hit on Jimin and Jimin accepted it.
Minjeong was a cowardly introvert. She did not know how to do this or that, even though she had several relationships, but none of them really made her feel butterflies inside her stomach; none of those relationships had a piece in her brain. All she remembered was her time with her favorite Jimin unnie.
xXx
It was not the first time Minjeong had heard Jimin rambling about her relationship.
Minjeong often lost count of who that boy and that boy were, and Jimin would gladly tell Minjeong who they were. It was only the first semester of college, and Minjeong had already questioned why Jimin had a boyfriend. People do really get their partner like getting a pet sometimes, and it did not seem like Minjeong hated the idea. Minjeong hated the idea that her favorite unnie got stolen by a man.
Jimin, of course, noticed the slight change in the other girl’s eyes. There were no sparks in her eyes, and all of Minjeong’s attention was darted to the cafe table they were sitting in.
“Minjeong-ah,” called Jimin while reaching out her hand to the younger one in front of her. Startled by the sudden contact, Minjeong slightly jolted, then saw Jimin’s eyes full of worry. “Are you oka–”
“I-i’m fine… just, a bit tired ‘m sorry–” Minjeong took a deep breath and faced Jimin with half-excitement. “Anyway, what were you saying?”
Worried about Minjeong’s condition, Jimin stopped rambling about her relationship and started talking about their favorite series, which was released a day ago.
Minjeong put her phone down, and Jimin swore she saw Minjeong’s ears perk up like a puppy. Getting Jimin’s favorite person’s attention back made her excited again. Who cared about relationships? All Jimin cared about was Minjeong.
xXx
The blonde girl went inside the cafe, which she and this Karina Yu mentioned. After the brief conversation they had last night, Karina wanted to meet Minjeong at this cafe. She said she wanted to see Minjeong, and Minjeong does not know why she said yes to a stranger–well, practically, Minjeong does not remember this person at all–the familiar scent of coffee greeted her, and a raised hand could be seen not too far from the spot.
Minjeong carefully approached the woman with the beanie. Her hair was short, like a bob, but most of her head was covered by the beanie. “Hey,” she greeted, seeming nervous.
“Hey….” Minjeong sat in front of her. To her surprise, she saw a cup of coffee in front of her, but Minjeong had not ordered anything yet.
“Vanilla latte,” the other woman exclaimed before Minjeong said anything, then she cleared her throat. “I just felt you like it….” she continued, breaking eye contact with Minjeong.
Minjeong stared at her for mere seconds and took a sip of the drink in front of her. It was not too sweet but not too bitter, just how Minjeong liked it. But how did she know her favorite drink, while Minjeong barely knew the person who was sitting in front of her right now?
“My favorite– how did you know?”
The other woman shrugged, her eyes slowly gazing at Minjeong’s, “Just felt like it.”
Minjeong nodded at the woman’s response. That was a bit creepy, to be honest. Maybe they were something before? Minjeong could not remember it. She could swear this is the first time she's seen this person.
Oh, her name.
“You’re Karina Yu, right? Who DM’ed me last night?” The other woman blinked once, twice, and no words came out from her, then Minjeong added. “Y’know… just to make sure that I don’t run to the wrong person.”
“Aaah–” The other nodded. “ –yes, I am the one who talked to you last night,”
Then she added.
“My name is Yu Jimin, nice to meet you.”
xXx
The idea of losing your friend because they have a romantic partner sometimes tingles your brain.
Maybe because of the trauma you had when your friends left you and being all busy with their loved ones, or you can’t be friends with loneliness. Sounds childish, but feelings are hard to study. You don’t know if it was jealousy taking over you or pure sadness and anxiety taking over your body.
The idea of jealousy sounds intimate, which means two things. One, you’re falling in love with your friend. Two, you don’t like another person to invade your special space with your friend, which two of those ideas are insane.
Minjeong also had a thought that her feelings had gone insane. She did not know why her heart sank whenever Jimin was near some guy Minjeong barely knew, whenever Jimin linked her arm to the other guy, whenever Jimin talked about them, or whatever. Minjeong swore it was platonic; friend jealousy was a thing, y’know.
She watched people come and go, and she watched some of her friends leave her without saying anything to her. She watched as her best friend started to drift away because she was too focused on her boyfriend, but that was years ago. Now, Jimin sometimes makes Minjeong forget that Jimin has a boyfriend. She spent more time with Minjeong rather than her own boyfriend, or maybe Jimin had good time management.
However, it did not release the knot in Minjeong’s heart. It should’ve been Minjeong's hand to be linked, it should’ve been her who stayed with Jimin 24/7, it should’ve been her to love Jimin better than those boys.
Oh.
Oh.
Love.
Now, Minjeong knows why the knot released whenever Jimin broke up with them.
“Maybe you’re just afraid you’ll lose her, because last time someone did that to you, right?” Yizhuo continued to write her lecture notes. Minjeong, on the other side, looked like a mess. Trying to figure out your feelings was another assignment to do.
“... I think I'm in love, Ning,” the other muttered, earning a glance from Yizhuo.
“Don't be too rushed about your emotions. You don't have a deadline for that.”
She was right, there were no deadlines for figuring out your feelings and emotions. However, Minjeong could feel her deadline was getting close when she found a flower petal coming out of her mouth.
xXx
“Yu Jimin….” The blonde muttered, trying to remember the name. “We met in high school?”
Jimin nodded, a faint smile carved on her face. “Yes, we met at the library.”
Minjeong tilted her head. She did not remember everything about this person at all. She was a total stranger to Minjeong. It has been six years since high school, which is why Minjeong faintly remembers the experience. She remembered some places she had visited, but she did not know with whom she had visited them.
“You don’t remember?” the black haired woman huffed, her eyelids were half-opened. One thing Jimin noticed about Minjeong’s appearance was the garnet necklace she had given to her on Minjeong’s first day of college. “Nice necklace,”
“Thank you,” The blonde replied. “I forgot where this necklace is from. I remember someone gave it to me on my first day of college but… I don’t know who gave it to me.”
Jimin faintly smiled; her fingertips were tapping rapidly on her thigh. “I bet that’s someone special to you.” Jimin’s pair of orbs gazed at the other woman’s brown orbs. They were the same as Jimin remembered. Those pair of eyes were innocent, confused, blank, and adorable.
xXx
Jimin had always complimented Minjeong’s eyes since high school. She said Minjeong’s eyes were adorable, just like a Barbie doll. Also, Jimin always described Minjeong as a puppy because of her eyes. She felt like she raised a puppy whenever Minjeong was around.
One time, Jimin was in front of Minjeong’s apartment door. They had agreed to work on an assignment together at Minjeong’s apartment. However, that was the day Jimin found Minjeong was pale like a vampire. Her smile was still the same, bright as ever, enthusiastic as ever; however, Jimin could not shrug off Minjeong’s pale skin and strained cough.
“Are you okay Minjeongie…?”
Minjeong waved her hand and chuckled. “I’m fineee, my throat is not the best fit today.” She gave an assuring smile to Jimin.
Another day, Jimin saw Minjeong at the campus toilet, coughing nonstop. Panicked, she ran to the girl and held the other’s trembling body for support. “Minjeong-ah!” she called many times and helped Minjeong, who was standing in front of a sink. It took Minjeong a while to gain her energy back.
The younger woman huffed, trying to gain oxygen for her lungs. Before she could say anything, she found her limp body pulled into an embrace. It was warm, comforting, just like home; however, Minjeong found her heart clenched tighter when Jimin tightened the hug, caressed her head, chanted ‘it’s okay’s to her. Minjeong hugged Jimin back; she couldn’t bear the pain inside her throat right now.
After minutes of comforting, Minjeong must go to her next class, and that left Jimin alone at the place. She wanted to help her best friend, but Minjeong said it was something Jimin should not worry about. Jimin sighed, eventually decided to go to her class. However, she will not forget the flower petal on the sink.
Days after that, Jimin found out that Minjeong was absent. She was nowhere to be found on the campus. Jimin asked some of Minjeong’s friends from her department, and they said Minjeong was absent for a whole day. Another thing that made Jimin worried was that Minjeong had not answered her texts yet, since morning.
So she went to see Minjeong after her classes. She cancelled her date with her boyfriend just to see if Minjeong’s okay or not. It was not the first time Jimin did this; she and her boyfriend had talked about how Jimin prioritized Minjeong over her boyfriend. Her boyfriend was not jealous of how Jimin treated her, but sometimes Jimin spent too much time with Minjeong that she forgot that she had a boyfriend.
Jimin ignored all the spam calls and texts from her boyfriend; all she ever thought of was only Minjeong, Minjeong, and Minjeong. She rang the apartment bell thrice. Seconds later, the other woman opened the door, her lips were red-ish colored, her voice was sore, her body was very pale like Minjeong would pass out anytime soon.
“I’ll get you some med–” Jimin’s hand was being held by the other.
“No, unnie. I’ll be fine later, don’t worry.” Minjeong smiled. “I just need you here….”
That day also marks the day when Jimin broke up with her boyfriend. The man called her, and when Jimin picked up the call, she was greeted by his rambling about waiting for Jimin at the parking lot for almost two hours with no information from Jimin. The call ended forty minutes later. Jimin saw her hand being held by the woman who was sitting beside her. To Jimin’s surprise, she did not feel any sadness or the urge to cry. She still feels glad that Minjeong was okay.
“Unnie, why are you smiling?”
“Because you’re still here with me. I don’t care about him anymore.”
That night, Jimin chose to stay for a night at Minjeong’s place. One, because Jimin wanted to take care of Minjeong. Two, because Jimin missed her. Jimin will never forget how warm cuddling with Minjeong was, rather than doing it with her boyfriend.
xXx
“We used to play badminton together?”
The raven-haired nodded, took a sip of her coffee. “We did a lot of things too! We went to arcades, played board games, and lots of stuff.”
Minjeong nodded, but still had not recognized what this Jimin person wanted to say. She said Minjeong was very close to her, and they spent high school and most of their college years together.
“Okay,” Minjeong cleared her throat. “Um, were we that close? Like as a friend, were we really that close? Because you said we did things together often, and you said you were the one who gave me this necklace– which is made of garnet stone, and garnet stone is January’s birthstone… which makes sense because my birth month is January.” Minjeong gazed at the other woman before continuing. “Who are you, really. Why do you know me, but I don’t know you? You remember the stuff we had, but I don’t remember any single one of them.”
Jimin uncomfortably shifted in her seat. Her eyes were getting blurry, and tears started pooling in her eyes. “You don’t remember anything?”
The blonde shook her head and noticed the other woman’s glassy eyes. “I-I wish I knew Miss Yu, but I don’t think–”
“It’s okay,” Jimin cuts her off. Before Jimin started talking again, the phone buzz caught their eyes. It was Minjeong’s phone.
“I’m sorry, one sec,” the blonde mouthed and picked up the phone. It was from her friend, Yizhuo, who was talking about her waiting for Minjeong at the campus library to do their thesis together.
A minute later, the call ended, and Minjeong needed to go. “I’m sorry– my friend’s waiting for me so I must go,” she uttered while packing and standing up, ready to go. But before Minjeong left, she heard Jimin call and held her hand. They gazed at each other for seconds before Jimin awkwardly cleared her throat.
“I… wanted to give something to you.” She reached something at her seat and gave Minjeong a flower. “Those are forget-me-nots. It’s my favorite and…. I just wanted to give you this, maybe you’ll remember me.”
Minjeong accepted the flower. They looked beautiful. “Thanks… these are… beautiful. Thanks a lot, Jimin.”
They exchanged smiles for a second before Minjeong went out of the cafe.
xXx
Jimin rushed to the school’s hallway as she saw Minjeong tidying her locker. “Minjeong-ah!” she called out and startled the younger woman. Jimin waved at her before approaching her. “Hello,” she greeted with a smile.
“Unnie, what are you doing here? You graduated already,” the younger girl replied, and closed her locker to face Jimin entirely. Jimin didn’t answer; she stood there with a wide grin on her face while Minjeong was extremely confused.
“Hehe, here,” Jimin said while giving her a flower bouquet. “Tomorrow’s your graduation day, right? I’m so sorry I won’t be there tomorrow because of college things, but here!”
A smile slowly carved on Minjeong’s face as she received the bouquet. She scanned the pretty bouquet; lots of blue flowers were placed there, but only one flower caught Minjeong’s eye. The flower has small petals; there were lots of them, and they were pretty.
Jimin saw how Minjeong’s eyes stopped at a particular flower. She explained everything to Minjeong. “I know you like the color blue these days, so there are so many blue flowers I specially picked just for you,” Jimin explained with a smile. “Then those small petals are named Forget Me Not. It resembles remembrance which meaaansss you must remember me until…” Jimin tapped her index finger to her lips. “Until death tears us apart.”
Minjeong could feel her heart doing a backflip. She indeed, currently, liked blue. Most of her stuff inside her bag was blue, even though he wanted to polish her nails in blue later. Not to mention that the color was Jimin’s favorite too. Minjeong always saw Jimin wandering around the school with her blue bag and her blue sweater, maybe they’re built for each other after all.
Jimin always found forget-me-not flowers in Minjeong’s apartment.
Since Minjeong's graduation, she took good care of the flower so she could remember Jimin, as Jimin said that day.
That day at the campus, at the restroom sink, Jimin found it weird to see the flower petals mixed with blood. She thought Minjeong was bringing the flower, but something happened. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Minjeong would say “I’m fine” or use assuring words to reassure Jimin not to be worried about her.
One night, Jimin could not sleep. Her eyes were banned from closing, her mind was swirling about this and that, and she could feel a knot slowly tying in her heart. Minjeong was already asleep, which made Jimin feel “abandoned”. It was nothing serious; Jimin swore it was nothing serious, but whenever Minjeong slept first at night, Jimin felt half of her was gone. She felt half of the puzzle pieces were gone.
Strangely, Jimin never felt like this whenever she was with her ex-boyfriend. Sometimes her ex would go offline because they were playing games, studying, or hanging out with their friends, and Jimin was okay with that. Every time Jimin was alone without her partners, she would be okay with it. Jimin dated the good guys at school and college; they had good grades and good reputations too, but Jimin wondered why she couldn't be comfortable being with them.
It wasn’t because they were bad guys, no, Jimin would say they were a total green flag (source, trust me bro). They treated Jimin the way men should treat women; in contrast, Jimin did not feel comfortable whenever she spent her time with them.
She only felt comfortable whenever Minjeong was around.
Jimin thought cuddling was a normal thing between friends, having her hand caress Minjeong’s head whenever they cuddled, or patting her head whenever Minjeong did well on her exams, or treating her to things that could make her and Minjeong happy. Jimin even canceled her date with her ex just to see if Minjeong was okay, but it was not the first time Jimin canceled a date just to spend time with Minjeong.
Jimin swore she never did karaoke with her ex-boyfriend, she never had building Lego dates, museum dates, aquarium dates, picnic dates, or any kind of dates.
But Jimin already did all of those with Minjeong.
As friends, of course.
Or is it?
Jimin sat on the bed, her thoughts ran everywhere in her mind. She only saw Minjeong as her friend– soulmate even. Someone who could play with her until death tore them apart.
There is no way she’s in love, right?
Okay, okay, here comes the question.
What if Minjeong has a boyfriend? Or girlfriend?
Jimin knitted her eyebrows and felt weird because of that. “Ew, no–”
Then she realized, she'd better be Minjeong’s girlfriend rather than seeing Minjeong with someone else.
Well….
Seeing Minjeong being all clingy, whiny, and sulky to Jimin was the most adorable thing Jimin could find. She wanted to have the hugs for herself, intertwine their hands, do more dates, or put her lips on the other’s pretty ones….
Jimin felt her cheeks warming up. She did not have to say “If you’re a boy, I’d date you” to Minjeong again, because all she wanted was the girl herself.
And this time, Jimin needs to get to the test.
xXx
The next day was the last time Jimin saw Minjeong.
Jimin went to Minjeong’s apartment with a spare key in hand. She opened the room to see that Minjeong was absent. It was 10 AM, and usually, Minjeong was still asleep. “Minjeong-ah,” the raven called, but no one replied. Jimin searched around the house, no one was there, pure silence, and the last thing Jimin saw was a flower on the floor covered with blood.
It was not an ordinary flower.
It was a forget-me-not.
Jimin stood there in silence, trying to think what had happened to her soon-to-be other half. She saw the same scene at the campus restroom, but the only difference was that this was a whole flower. And Jimin only saw some petals in the campus restroom.
Seconds later, her phone buzzed, showing the name “Ning Yizhuo :D” on the screen, calling her.
Jimin picked up the phone and rushed to the hospital after hearing that Minjeong was there, almost dead.
“Hanahaki,” the doctor said. “I only thought this type of disease existed only in fiction worlds, but it exists in this world too.”
“Will she be okay?” asked Jimin, peeking at the door’s glass. She saw Minjeong’s limp body sleeping on the hospital bed.
“We will do a surgery for her lungs, it’s the patient’s request.”
Jimin stood there nervously, maybe Minjeong would be okay and play with her again, right?
“Will there be any after effects after the surgery?”
“I’m afraid I don’t know much about it, ma’am.” The middle-aged man took off his glasses. “I need to study this disease because it is very rare and well-known in fictional worlds. But this unfortunate lady has it.”
After the small talk, the man left. There were only Jimin and Yizhuo standing in front of the room. Jimin really wanted to go in, but Yizhuo said Minjeong did not want to see Jimin yet, not like this.
Later that day, Jimin stayed at Minjeong’s apartment to clean up the mess. She did some chores and cleaned up the studio apartment, just because it’s Minjeong. After doing all of the chores, Jimin did a little research about the disease. It was the first time Jimin had even heard of it, and how did Minjeong even have this rare disease?
‘Hanahaki disease is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love.’
… oh.
‘It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear.’
Oh….
Jimin continued to read the article until she found something.
‘There are also works where the flowers are surgically removed, as are the victim's feelings of love, meaning they can no longer love the person they once loved. Sometimes this also removes their memories of the former beloved, or the victim's ability to ever love again.’
(Source: Fanlore.org)
Wait… what?!
Wow, that was heavy.
Whoever this person Minjeong had in mind, Jimin would kick their ass.
Not until she found a piece of paper with Minjeong’s handwriting on the desk.
Jimin picked up the paper and read it thoroughly and slowly, but only to find that her tears streamed down her face.
‘Unnie, I don’t know when you will see this paper or I will give it to you later, but I have some things I wanted to say to you…. First, I wanted to say sorry that I didn’t tell you about this. I have hanahaki which is weird– because the doctor said it’s a fictional disease hahaha…. But unnie, I was planning to do surgery for this disease. I don’t want to risk our friendship just because I have feelings for you. You always say that if I were a boy then you’d date me, but the truth is unnie, I wanted to date you, play with you until death tears us apart. I don’t want you to wait for me until I become a boy.
I don’t know your feelings, and I don’t want to risk it. I really hope we’ll find paths again unnie. And I’m really sorry.
I love you, Jimin unnie.
Sincerely, your special person,
Minjeong :)’