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You stared at the stick in your hands. The double lines taunted you even as you grappled with the thought of what it meant.
Pregnant.
How could you let this happen?
Two months ago, you'd just needed to release some pent-up steam. Too many back-to-back missions with mixed results in terms of success. You'd been burnt-out and in need of distraction. It just so happened you'd found that distraction in the intoxicating scent and strong arms of the one man who continued to remain an enigma to you. James "Bucky" Barnes.
Now, you were sitting in your bathroom, doing your best to breathe through this anxiety-inducing new reality.
How were you going to tell him? Could you tell him? What if he didn't want anything to do with the baby? With you? Could you cope being his teammate and raise his child if he wanted nothing to do with either of you? Would it mean you'd have to resign from the Avengers? Would he?
The questions continued to swirl, producing the beginnings of a massive headache. Your temples had already started to throb.
Needing to get out of your room, you tossed the stick into your trash and strode from your room. You needed to find some air. Clear your mind so you could think properly. So many decisions to make, so little time to make them.
As your luck would have it, the first person you nearly slammed into was the very man you'd hoped to avoid for as long as possible.
His hands came up to steady you even as his features softening upon recognizing you. Because of course they did and had since that night.
"Hey, where's the fire?" Bucky asked.
"Nowhere. Just going for a walk."
"Want some company?"
It was on the tip of your tongue to say no, but his hopeful expression dissuaded you from hurting him. If it'd been anyone but him, then maybe you could've walked away without the guilt. But it was him.
So, you nodded and did your best to meet his smile with one of your own.
That was how you found yourself walking along the streets of Manhattan, making your way towards Central Park. You needed the spot you'd found during one of your earlier explorations of the city. It was always a place of peace, a place of clarity, when your mind was too loud.
Bucky kept pace at your side, making sure you always remained on the inside of the sidewalk. Watchful of those around you both. Never failed to keep you within a hand's reach though he never made complete contact with your skin. He wouldn't, either, until you invited him to.
Only when you two reached the place you needed most did he finally break the silence. "You okay?"
You could feel the hysteria building within you. A laugh escaped of its own volition. Meeting his concerned gaze, you finally shook your head.
"Anything I can do?"
So many things, you couldn't help thinking, but you didn't say any of them aloud. Instead, you opted to say, "Just stay with me. Please?"
He did.
He always did.
It wasn't often you asked, but he never failed to step up when it happened.
Time stood still as you watched the small ripples along the pond's surface. Little bugs dancing over the surface while fish occasionally peeked out, hoping for a meal. You could see the slight breeze as it tousled the grass near the pond's edge.
The words came out of you eventually.
"I'm pregnant."
Bucky inhaled, but he didn't back away. In fact, he crept a little closer, his warmth seeping into you. His hand brushed against yours.
"You keeping it?"
There wasn't any hesitation as you nodded.
"About the baby, Buck," you took a deep breath, bracing for his reaction to the next part you needed to confess, "it's yours."
"I know," he said softly. An even softer grin quirked the corners of his mouth. His eyes crinkled at the edges. "You haven't been with anyone else since our night together."
"How do you know that?"
He glanced at you then. "Because I know you."
That pulled you up short.
As much as you wanted to deny his words, you couldn't.
Because he did.
He knew how you liked your morning drink, your favorite author, and your favorite comfort show. He also knew how you spent your evenings after a tough day with your go-to comfort snack. There wasn't a favorite of yours that he didn't seem to know, having watched and taken note.
"I'm in it, too, as much as you want me to be. I wanna be a father to our kid. Full-time, part-time, whatever you think is best." His eyes didn't meet yours as he spoke, squinting instead at the pond you'd been studying not minutes ago.
The words didn't surprise you.
Bucky never shirked his duties, and you knew he'd be a good father.
But what if you wanted more? What if you wanted him to be part of your life, too? Would he want that as well? Did he want you, or was that night a one-time thing? Sure, you two hadn't slept together again since that night, but he hadn't kept his distance from you. In fact, he seemed to spend whatever free time he had seeking you out, wanting to be close to you.
As if sensing your thoughts, he finally met your gaze, his eyes boring deeply as though he could see into your heart, your soul. "Can I take you out tonight? We can go to your favorite place, eat as much as you want. Maybe talk about us."
"You want there to be an us?"
His expression softened, and a small smile formed. "Yeah, I really do."
"I do, too," you whispered, leaning into him and taking his hand for the first time. "I really do, too."