Chapter Text
Hinata felt a rush of air wash past her as a streak of orange brushed her by in the hall, taking her heart with it. She looked over her shoulder to see Naruto’s bright smile and the orange jumpsuit jacket that he wore despite it not being part of their school uniforms, even though teachers repeatedly told him not to. She loved that smile. She loved how it lit up a room. She loved how it was there even when no one was smiling with him.
But what she wished for was for once, he would shine that smile at her. She always felt like she was just missing its bright rays. It was something she longed for, but knew that it was unlikely for her to ever receive.
Naruto’s smiles were usually for Sakura, whom he had run to as soon as he saw her. It made sense. Sakura was pretty and smart. She was confident, quick, and skilled.
… Everything Hinata wasn’t.
Hinata dropped her eyes away from them because she knew looking too long would make her heart ache. Her long hair fell down over her shoulders to shield the dimming of her own expression.
This was the cycle that she had caught herself in, that she felt like she would never get out of: catching a glimpse, feeling her heart soar, thinking about what she might do to catch a little of his attention, only to be reminded why that was silly.
She really shouldn’t be focusing on it. She knew that, but it still distracted her every day. Part of her wished that she could just lock it in a box and never have to see it again, so that she could move on with her life, but the other part of her really just wanted to push a little and see if it would catch his attention.
She knew she should give up, but she so badly wanted to be loved in return.
Hinata took a deep breath and forced her head up to pay more attention to where she was going because she knew if she were to get too distracted in her own thoughts, she was going to have everyone's attention from falling on her face and that wasn’t the kind of attention she was looking for.
Shikamaru stared down the hallway, seemingly at nothing, or so that is what it would look like to anyone passing. Was that because he was good at hiding what he was really doing, or was it because everyone assumed she was zoned out or sleeping with his eyes open?
Hinata had her eyes dropped to the floor as she turned the corner to their classroom, and he didn’t need to hear Naruto’s voice around the corner to know why she was down. She wore her whole heart on her face. She lifted her head and as she breathed in, trying to force her chin up and out of whatever thoughts she had trapped herself in.
She headed for the classroom, but before she did, she gave him a polite little head nod as a greeting.
Then Naruto passed in his normal group of Sasuke, trying to actively ignore him, and Sakura was only a moment away from smacking him in the back of the head. He gave him a half-wave and a smile before he passed him into the classroom, where he would sit in seats in front of Hinata, and she would sit there and stare at the back of his head when she wasn’t paying attention in class.
Shikamaru closed his eyes. Damn it.
It was annoying.
He had been in this crappy cycle for far too long. He watched Hinata watch Naruto watch Sakura watch Sasuke. None of them were happy. None of them liked this. He wanted off this stupid, obvious crush train.
He sat with an irritating recurring pit in his stomach. He knew he had options to make this stop, and he didn’t like any of them, so he did what he always did: he didn’t get involved and…
He wasn’t sure if his inaction hurt less than the rejection he knew he would receive, but he would rather assume than actually find out.
“If you are going to sleep, I think that it would be a lot more comfortable at your desk.” Choji teased him and patted his arm as he passed him to head into the classroom.
Shikamaru opened his eyes to see that the hallway was all but void of students. He looked out the window across from him, which was beating sunlight beating down on him. The sun was peeking out through white, fluffy clouds that were moving slowly across the sky.
It would be a good day to spend outside, under a tree, maybe with some quiet company.
Shikamaru rolled his eyes at himself and headed into the classroom with the rest.
That one he could only blame himself for.
“I think that it's stupid that they are making everyone participate.” Kiba sat with his legs crossed on top of one of the picnic tables. “Didn’t they use to get volunteers to help with these stupid festival setups?”
“They don’t get enough volunteers,” Shino answered.
“Well, that just means that no one wants to do it. So why are we doing it?” Kiba shot back. “If I had to choose between the crapy school festival that I have to set up and no festival, I would choose no festival.”
“It’s nice for everyone to work together.” Hinata hummed. She knew that it wasn’t going to be something that reinstated with him, but she hoped that at least it would make him think about it.
“You just think it's nice because Naruto likes it,” Kiba grumbled.
Shino hissed at him. “That was uncalled for.”
“Sorry,” Kiba added flatly.
Hinata shook her head. “It’s fine.” She couldn’t argue with him. He was right. There was one year when Naruto tried a prank on some of the teachers right before the festival, and he was forced to be on clean-up duty the whole day as a punishment. Hinata had volunteered for the duty that year because she thought that it was the best way to stay out of everyone's way, and changing trash bags and collecting recycling wasn’t really something that she could fail at, so that was a bonus. She got to spend a whole day with him, but her being her, she barely said anything the whole time, which was fine. He did most of the talking, and that was how she liked it.
“You have a few weeks to figure out how you are going to get out of it.” Shino brought the conversation back to the festival.
“You think that I can convince my parents to get my wisdom teeth removed that week?” Kiba tipped his head back dramatically.
“You don’t have wisdom teeth.” Hinata reminded him. Neither did she, but Shino did, and they had to be removed with he got his invisible braces last year, and that was why they talked about it.
“The school doesn’t know that,” Kiba said, like he was thinking about it seriously.
There was no way his parents were going to let him lie about that to get out of a day of school. Maybe his sister would sign a slip for him, but knowing her, she was more likely to call the school to sign him up for something just to punish him for asking.
“We should get inside for class.” Shino collected the last of the trash from their lunch.
“Ugh.” Kiba groaned dramatically as he unfolded his legs and hopped down.
“Did you do the homework this time?” Shino asked Kiba as they headed inside.
“We had homework?” Kiba blinked at him.
Shino sighed.
Hinata took a last look over the courtyard. It was a really nice day. The sky was a stunning blue, and the clouds seemed like cotton candy. Her eyes settled on a shadow under the tree, and a smile came to her face. Always there.
“Are you coming?” Shino stopped at the door.
“In a minute.” Hinata pointed under the tree.
Shino’s eyes followed her direction, and he nodded, heading back in himself.
A warm breeze washed by as the courtyard got quieter. He knew that he would have to get up soon, or he would be late for class. He didn’t really care, but it was annoying to be badgered by teachers who thought that their boring classes were more important than they actually were.
If his mother were more reasonable, he wouldn’t even have to come to school daily. If he had a home curriculum, he could breeze through the reading and classwork and have the rest of the day to himself, which was why he wasn’t allowed. His mother knew that he might actually enjoy his day, and she didn’t like that.
There was a light pressure barely applied to his shoulder, trying its best to wake him without startling him.
Shikamaru peeked out of one of his eyes to find the silhouette, which made him wonder if he had actually fallen asleep. This felt like a dream he would have had.
Hinata tucked her long hair, which was falling into her eyeline, behind her ear with a gentle smile on her face. “Sorry…” She whispered. “I wanted to wake you before we were late for class.”
Of course. She was being sweet instead of leaving him, like he had trained everyone else to do by ignoring them.
He stretched in place and sat up.
“Comfortable?” Hinata asked.
Shikamaru made a simple grunt and nodded.
Hinata's smile got a little brighter.
Shikamaru sat there, gazing up at the sun shining on her face. It was the one thing he would always be happy to wake up to.