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Chapter Text

Blitzo woke up to one of the strangest feelings he had ever felt in his life. It felt like he was going through 15 different hangovers at once, yet his mind felt clear for once. It was weird. But not as weird as what he was laying down on.

After groaning from such an intense feeling, he looked at his surroundings & noticed two things right away. Firstly, he was on the Moon. The fucking Moon. How the fuck did he get on the fucking Moon of all things?! And secondly, his family - His fiance Stolas, their daughters Loona & Octavia, & his best friends/employees Moxxie & Millie - were laying down with him within the same space, and was instantly freaking out! His impulsive protection over his friends & family made him immediately nudge them all awake.

"Hey, guys, wake up," He blurted out loudly, "Something weird just happened & I need you guys awake for help!" Thankfully, he was loud enough that everyone woke up the moment he alerted them, and they all were in a similar state of shock as Blitzo was when he woke up. They looked at each other & their surroundings before they too started freaking out.

"I'm sorry," Moxxie spoke up, "but are we on the fucking MOON right now?! How the fuck did we get here, & how are we breathing in space?!" He felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack as his wife was trying to calm him down by putting her hand over his back & rubbing it.

"Yes, it seems we are on the Moon!" Stolas answered with as much surprise as everyone else, "I have no idea how we got here, but-" He suddenly stopped mid-sentence before asking his daughter a question. "Via, did you happen to portal us here in your sleep?"

"No, I didn't mumble a spell in my sleep. I'm just as curious about this situation as everyone else is too."

"Okay, so we don't have any leads on how we got here or who did it, and we don't know what the next step is." Blitzo stated to everyone, "Do we at least know if this is the work of Goetia magic?" He then turned to face his adoptive & step daughters. "Loonie, Via, I know you two can be able to sense magic since the Grimoire has been attuned to you both. Could you maybe be able to tell if something is here?"

Both of them tried to calm down their senses to see if anything was up, and they did notice something. "Yeah, this place reeks of magic." Loona stated, "Via, check to see if this place is covered in runes." Her best friend/sorta sister nodded & began using her magic to see if she could detect some runes that might've been placed, & instantly she did. The Moon started glowing like crazy, with sorts of different looking symbols appearing everywhere beneath the family's feet. They were in pure awe at what they were looking at, amazed at the beautiful imagery that was literally hiding beneath them. Once she was finished, they took the time to examine the runes to see if there were any that looked out of place. After a few minutes, the two owls & the Hellhound were able to notice a few strange things.

"I don't ever remember seeing some of these runes that are glowing right now." Said Stolas, "They look unfamiliar to me, even though they are meshed with some of the Goetic runes." Before he could further think about how strange this situation was becoming, Millie interrupted his thoughts when she too spotted something noticeable.

"Hey look, I see a string of arrows pointing in one direction!" She pointed them out & everyone saw how they were indeed pointing to somewhere, leading to some theories.

"So, whoever is behind this, wants us to intentionally find them by following these arrows as if it was an invitation?" Moxxie thought aloud, "Okay, this is becoming suspicious real fast."

"Yeah, but it's not like we have any other lead right now." Blitzo pointed out, "For right now, I think our best option is to follow the arrows & see what kind of Hell they'll take us to." Nobody could argue with his reasoning, so they all slowly followed the trail of arrows, not wanting to get lost on the seemingly never ending surface of the Moon.

While they were being guided by the direction beneath their feet, they eventually bumped into another group of people that were brought here too. Almost all of them were happy to see their faces, while a certain sibling was not.

"What the... What the fuck are you guys doing here?" Blitzo blurted out. This other group of visitors consisted of his childhood best friend Fizzarolli & his boyfriend Asmodeus, Loona's girlfriend Queen Beelzebub, his former ex turned close family friend Verosika Mayday, Millie's sister Sallie May (Who had taken over her position at I.M.P. for a short period of time because of Millie's pregnancy), & the one person he hoped he wouldn't bump into for the rest of his life because of her resentment towards him: His twin sister, Barbie Wire.

"Blitzo you're here too, & with your friends?" Fizz responded with a surprise, which most of the others were feeling upon seeing the I.M.P. family. "Good to know we're not the only ones here."

Blitzo noticed Mills & her sister running towards each other to give each other a hug upon seeing one another. He almost wanted to do that with Fizz & Ver, but his brain stopped his impulses.

"Hey Loona!" Bee called out to, "Glad to see I won't be here all by myself right now, even if Ozzie is here too."

"Hey Bee, it's nice to see you too." Loona gave her girlfriend a smooch on the cheek while smiling happily & wagging her tail upon seeing her.

"So, let me guess," Verosika started addressing towards Blitzo suddenly, "you found yourself having a weird feeling upon waking up, and found yourself & your friends here on the fucking Moon without knowing how you got here to begin with?"

"Yep, and right now we're following a bunch of arrows that are leading somewhere that started showing up & glowing when Stolas' kid was sensing magic shit here."

"I was wondering where that came from." Ozzie said aloud.

"Well, since you guys don't know shit either about how this happened, I would recommend sticking with me & my fam until we figure this whole ordeal out. So, would you like to come with?" They all nodded in response since there was nothing better to do at the moment, and they all followed him slowly to figure out where they would be headed, nothing that his sister had not said a word at all when he showed up. 'Maybe she's still in shock about all of this. I wouldn't blame her.' Blitzo thought as he chuckled to himself. Hopefully they could figure what's going on soon so he doesn't have to worry about her seeing his face again.

 

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Charlie felt like she had both the most pleasant & unpleasant dream possible. She doesn't remember what exactly happened in her dream, but it sure was interesting. When she woke up, she felt light-headed, and she soon saw why that may be. She looked around & saw she wasn't in her bedroom with Vaggie anymore, rather she was on the Earth's Moon with everyone from the Hotel, including their new residents, Cherri Bomb & her dad Lucifer. She thought at first that she was still dreaming, but after she pinched herself to double check, she realized she wasn't dreaming. She was actually on the Moon, Earth's Moon. Lying down, peacefully dreaming. With everyone from the Hotel right there in front of her too. Before she could freak the fuck out over how she wasn't in Hell for the first time in her life, she nudged everyone awake as hastily as possible.

"Guys, wake up! I don't think we're in Hell anymore!" She was able to wake them all up & soon they too were taking in their surroundings & were wondering what the hell was going on.

"Uh, can someone explain to me why we were all passed out, asleep on the fucking Moon right now?!" Angel Dust exclaimed.

"Well, before you ask, we're not having the same dream. This is actually happening. As for how it happened, I have absolutely zero clue as to how this ended up happening!" She was starting to panic while her girlfriend tried her best to comfort the princess.

"Well, Lucifer," Vaggie started wondering, "did you by any chance accidentally transport us in your sleep without knowing?"

"No, not at all. I would be able to know if I was using my magic unintentionally, and the last place I would want us to be teleported to is the fucking Moon for our Earth!!"

"Wait, so we're actually in space right now?" Angel Dust realized, "If we're in space right now, how are we breathing right now? Isn't there supposed to be no oxygen in space?"

"Yeah, there's not a single ounce of it up here mate, just like I told ya before," His best friend answered, "But what I'm more surprised about is that we're actually outside of Hell in what feels like decades!" All the other sinners realized this after she said it, and they were almost ready to go into panic mode (Or in Alastor's case pass out from too much information at once), until they saw the Moon beneath them suddenly start glowing, showing all sorts of weird glowing symbols. Everyone was in a state of shock & awe, while Niffty was going "Ooh, pretty!" as her eyes lit up with sparkles.

"What the hell is all this?" Asked Husk, "I don't remember the Moon glowing & covered in weird shit when I watched the Moon landing in '69."

"Oh, I certainly wouldn't mind landing a 69 on you, baby." Angel flirted out.

"Angie, now's not the best time for that."

"Wait a second," Charlie cut in, noticing familiar symbols, "I think some of these symbols are runes. Dad, do you recognize any of these?"

"Yeah, some of them I recognize as Goetic runes, while others I don't. But I'm noticing a bunch of arrows all pointing in the same direction." The king pointed them out as all of them did realize there were arrows all lined up in an orderly fashion directly pointing somewhere.

"Hmm, it seems whoever put us on this blasted space rock actually wants us to find them," Alastor stated with his always disturbing grin, "Either they are being completely reckless, or they are actually begging to be killed on the spot."

"Well, I feel like we gotta follow them, considering we have no other options right now," Charlie declared, "Also, we are NOT killing anybody until they tell us what they want." She almost flared up saying that last part, but stopped herself from doing so. She & the rest of their crew decided to follow the arrows in the direction they were pointing in, until they bumped into somebody that they thought they lost.

"P-P-Pentious?"

The once snake-like sinner turned around to see all of his friends behind him, and they all looked like they were about to cry (Except Alastor because of course). What they didn't expect when he turned around was his new appearance, leaving all of them in a state of shock & surprise (Including Alastor). His skin was now a shade of blue, his eyes now had yellow sclera with cerise pupils in them, his tail was light grey with a lighter shade of grey underneath & all the eyes on it were missing, his cobra hood was now white instead of black & the eyes that were once on it were now just markings, his jacket was now white instead of black while retaining its yellow pinstripes, and his bowtie now had a heart in the center, along with his glasses. But the most notable thing about his new appearance was the thing atop his hat: A Halo.

They couldn't believe what they were seeing. Their friend, who they saw die by Adam's hand, was not only alive, but also had a halo atop his head, something only angels had. This could only mean one thing: Sir Pentious went to Heaven when he died. He achieved redemption & made it to the pearly golden gates of the sky. She did it. She actually fucking did it. Charlie was able to redeem a damned soul & send them up above. She couldn't believe it. She didn't think it would happen so soon, and she was ready to cry tears of joy over this revelation. However, someone from behind Pentious came peeking out & squealed when she saw her return.

"Charlie!" Squealed Emily.

"Emily!" They both hugged each other as Charlie started crying her tears of joy. She still couldn't believe she had actually done it already. "Emily, am I crazy or is Sir Pentious not only standing here, but he has a HALO ON HIS HEAD?!?! DID I ACTUALLY DO IT?!?!"

"You're not dreaming Miss Charlotte," the now snake-like winner answered a little sheepishly, "I did indeed die, but I did go up to Heaven when I died the second time during that battle." He then gave her a loving smile that said it all.

"You actually did it Charlie!" Emily added happily in excitement, "You actually redeemed a sinner!"

Everyone was in total shock at the confirmation of this new revelation, and soon, they all joined in the celebratory hug while Alastor just stood there, eyes widening as he couldn't believe what he was seeing. 'He was redeemed? Sinners can be redeemed? How?! How is this possible?! It shouldn't be possible! There's no way it is!' He thought to himself as he was feeling a million different things but kept himself composed.

Charlie then explained to Emily & Pentious the situation at hand. They too didn't know how they got here, but decided to join Charlie & her Hazbin Hotel family as they continued to follow in the direction the arrows were pointing. Charlie couldn't wait to share this news with all of Hell. This was her chance to finally achieve her lifelong dream.

 

---------------

 

Once they arrived at their destination, both groups of demons began opening the doors in front of them to reveal a movie theater was where the arrows were pointing towards. Eventually, their eyes met each other's groups, and questions started flowing in their heads about who the other group in front of them was & if they had any connection to what was currently going on.

"Uh, hi" Blitzo said to the other group, waving his hand nervously & giving a sheepish looking smile.

"Hi" Charlie responded to the imp that stood across from her, giving a more friendly wave & smile compared to him. "Let me take a guess and say-" as they would then say in unison, "You woke up feeling strange, don't know how you got here, but followed a bunch of arrows to this strange place." Both of them were in shock at how in sync both of them were with each other.

"Yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it. So do any of you guys know what happened?"

"Unfortunately, we're about as lost as you guys are." Vaggie claimed.

"Well, at least we can maybe finally get some answers now that we're here." Loona stated.

Then, out of nowhere, a voice none of the groups were familiar with spoke up. "And you will get your answers, my dear friend." Everyone was taken off guard & immediately pulled out any self-defense in case their "Host" wasn't friendly.

"Who are you?" Millie shouted in rage, "And why the fuck did you bring us here?!" But before she could say anything else, their Host snapped their fingers, & suddenly all weapons on the demon's person suddenly vanished/disappeared, leaving everyone a bit intimidated by what will happen next.

"Sorry for startling you," the host said, "but I have a strict no weapons policy in my movie theater. I would prefer people do not break out into a fight on my property, thank you very much. As for who I am, I am someone who has been keeping tabs on you all for quite some time now, someone who has watched every episode of your life story." He paused for a bit as he stepped forward. "But the thing is, I am not demon, nor am I angel. For I am, a human!!" He then grabbed his cloak that was hiding his appearance to reveal himself as a young adult human who was wearing a plain, ordinary outfit consisting of a purple & blue sweatshirt with dark grey sweatpants, while wearing a weird looking watch on his right wrist. He then did a jazz hands stance while shouting in a cocky attitude with wide eyes & a big smile, "SURPRISE!!"

Everyone in the room was left stunned, jaws on the floor, being left absolutely speechless. A human, an honest to God human, captured them, & put them on the Moon which housed a movie theater. WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON?!?!

But before anybody could process this normally, their human host continued. "Now, I know a lot of you are probably shocked by this revelation, but don't worry. I'm not from the Earth of this universe, so I ain't gonna tell nobody."

This made many of their heads tilt as they were confused by what he just said. "Wait, what do you mean by another universe?" Stolas asked, "Are you saying the multiverse is real? I read about it in the Grimoire, but I thought it was a myth from eons ago."

"Well Stolas, it is very much real, and I am living proof of that." He then proceeded to show a visual representation of what he would be saying, which made everyone stare in awe. "You see, I am a human that comes from another universe that houses Heaven, Hell, & living realm on an identical Earth to yours. But MY Earth in particular is very special within this vast multiverse. I come from Reality-0, the universe where EVERY universe is created by us humans, as a form of entertainment, which is actually the main point of why I brought you all here." He then makes his visual representation disappear as he begins his reasoning for his sudden appearance. "You see, I have brought you all here because you all have been going through struggles that I can't ever imagine would happen to me. So, I'm gonna have you all sit down & watch the 'episodes' of the shows that you all come from in my world, in my intergalactic movie theater. I'll explain more later but for now, I would like all of you to get to know each other a little more, or catch up with each other if you already know each other. Anyways, I'll be back in an hour when I'm done prepping your upcoming viewing of your lives/shows."

Before he could leave, Emily called him out asking, "Uh, hey, excuse me! Did you ever mention your name?"

He faceplamed himself with a smirk saying, "D'oh! Of course, where are my manners? My name is Ian, but I have been given the name The Showstealer by the universes I've traveled to, considering my main method of viewing is hijacking television signals, but I figured you guys deserve the deluxe treatment. Anyways, I'll see you all in an hour. Laters!" He then left the theater to prepare the viewing.

As the two groups were left alone, they did take the time to know each other or catch up. Charlie recognized some of the people in Blitzo's group & ran over to say Hi, those being her Uncle Ozzie & Aunt Bee. It had been ages since the last time she saw them, and was so happy to see them again! She introduced her girlfriend, Vaggie, to the two sins, which Vaggie was nervous about but soon warmed up to them, congratulating the couple for the get-together. Charlie was even more happy when she discovered that Ozzie had found a boyfriend & Bee had found both a boyfriend & a girlfriend. She was introduced to the lovers that were present, being Fizzarolli & Loona, and the two of them enjoyed her infectious energy & happy-go-lucky attitude, even if they thought she could be overwhelming at times. Lucifer also took the time to catch up with the two sins that were present & also was introduced to their lovers. Fizz & Loona were really nervous when the King of Hell walked up to him, unlike his daughter, and they were taken aback with how friendly & anxious he was, going completely against what they imagined him as.

Charlie also catched up with her cousin Stolas, learning about his current predicament (To which she would make sure she fixes it along with her dad.), getting to properly meet his daughter (The only time she met her was when Via was four.), and was also introduced to his fiance. She was excited to see Octavia again, to which Via was happy to properly get to know her & had similar opinions to Loona, & Charlie was even more excited upon learning the little clown imp boy that she was told about when he was younger, and she was intrigued by the line of work Blitzo did. She thought it could be great for her Hotel business, since those newly fresh sinners could go to the Hotel alongside the person who hired I.M.P., and get those two people to realize what they did was wrong & have them redeemed, to which Blitzo never thought about how beneficial it was for both of them, & he recommend that they talk about Charlie supporting his business when they got back.

But the big thing that everyone was talking about was the fact that two angels were in the same room as a bunch of sinners & hellborns, and they weren't just any ordinary angels: They were a Seraphim & redeemed sinner respectfully. Nobody could believe what they were seeing, especially the redeemed sinner, and Blitzo's group (Along with the Hotel's patrons) were asking all kinds of questions. Sir Pentious was overwhelmed by all of them, especially considering he just had a heart-warming reunion with Cherri, but Emily was enjoying the fact that even hellborns were such kind & caring creatures. She would definitely have to tell Sera & the Heavenly Council about this when she got back.

An hour later, just as promised, their Host, who now they know is named Ian, came back from what looked like a lobby, as he got everyone's attention. "Alright, so, I have everything set up as we are ready to begin the show, but before we do, I would like to tell you all that I have some assigned seats for you all, so please pay close attention as I call & point out the seating chart." He then pulled out a sheet of paper, cleared his throat, & began announcing where the demons (& angels) assigned seats. "Blitzo & Charlie, you will be sitting in the two middle seats, with your lovers, Stolas & Vaggie, sitting right next to you, since all four of you are the main stars of these two shows!"

"Which side do we take?" Charlie asked.

"Charlie & Vaggie, you're on the right side. Stolas & Blitzo, you guys are on the left side." They then took their seats as Ian continued calling out names. In the end, the seating lineup from left to right was: Barbie Wire, Emily, Sir Pentious, Cherri, Beelzebub, Loona, Octavia, Stolas, Blitzo, Charlie, Vaggie, Moxxie, Millie, Fizzarolli, Asmodeus, Verosika, Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty, Alastor, Lucifer, & Sallie May.

After all the seats were filled out, Ian finished things up with a few more pieces of information about the theater they would be staying in. "Okay, so a few other things before we get started. Firstly, I just want to mention that every now & then, we will be having intermissions out in the lobby," He pointed towards the two doors behind the audience, "where there will be food & drinks for you to serve yourselves, & tables where you can sit amongst yourselves & have more time to get to know each other. Also, since I know some of you here like to sing, there will be a stage in the lobby too for you to pour your heart & soul out." Everyone nodded in unison as he continued. "Secondly, I will be watching the shows with you guys up on the balcony over there," He then pointed to a one-seat balcony hanging above the lobby doors, "so if you have any questions during the viewing, just turn around to look at me & ask. I will not hesitate to answer any of them, unless the answers will be spoilers." Everyone once again nodded & he could feel that they were starting to get excited. "Lastly, I would like to mention that we will be getting into some very heavy, emotional & personal stuff in these episodes, so if you feel like you need tissues or time to yourself because you feel uncomfortable, just say the word & I'll gladly let you have some time alone." Suddenly, the two groups felt uneasy but nodded anyway, since they knew their friends & family had their backs. "Cool beans. So, before we begin, does anybody have any final questions?" As soon as he said that Bee raised her hand. "Yes, Bee?"

"Can we be able to have snacks or drinks during the show?"

"Oh, well that's the cool thing about this theater. I've used a bit of my own magic (Along with some demonic magic) to not only have you guys breath in space, but also to let you conjure up anything you can think of! (Except for sex toys & weapons) Would you like to demonstrate, Loona?"

The Hellhound was taken aback by him addressing her, but ultimately decided to adhere to his request, & when she thought of having popcorn in her hands, all of a sudden, said popcorn appeared in her hands, which made everyone stare in surprise. "Oh, hell yeah!" Loona exclaimed, "That's fuckin' awesome!"

"Thought so." replied Ian, "Any other questions?" When nobody else said anything or raised their hands, he took it as a sign that everyone was ready. "Okay, I guess with all of that out of the way, let us begin this very long binge with the beginning of the Hazbin Hotel!" He went over to his private balcony & began the show with a wide grin. Everyone was excited to see their own lives play out, as they knew this was going to be very entertaining.

Chapter Text

[The scene opens with a voiceover of the princess of Hell singing "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows".]

Charlie: ♫ At the end of the rainbow, there's happiness. ♫

[A human is shown falling down from the sky as a rainbow bursts upwards through the clouds. The scene pans down and silhouettes of many sinners are shown also falling.]

Charlie: ♫ And, to find it, how often I've tried. ♫

[Charlie is seen looking up as a pair of beings appear in front of her. She then looks down, sad. Charlie then turns as her father and another being appears and points away from her. She turns to the direction they're pointing at.]

Charlie: ♫ But, my life, is a race. Just a wild goose chase. ♫

[Camera pans over to where they were pointing at, which shows Hell being circled by Angels.]

Charlie: ♫ And, my dreams, have all been denied. / Why have I always been a failure? ♫

[A shadow of Lucifer looms over a saddened Charlie as demonic arms and tentacles cover the screen.]

Charlie: ♫ What can the reason be? / I wonder if the world's to blame. ♫

[The Earth rotates as many eyes begin to surround it.]

Charlie: ♫ I wonder if it could be me. ♫

[The Exorcists are seen smiling deviously as they look down upon the souls they have gotten rid of. The scene turns to black as the camera focuses on the middle Exorcist's face and halo.]

 

When the Exorcists appeared on screen, the Hazbin cast looked at them with extreme anger & disgust, including Emily. She was still mad at Sera for keeping this a secret from not only Heaven, but her as well. And now Sera wanted to keep Sir Pentious' existence in Heaven a secret, which Emily would not allow. All the others were angry because they knew the Exorcists were still alive, including Lute, but if they knew sinners can be redeemed, then it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Blitzo then cut the awkward tension in the air to look at The Showstealer & ask, "So quick question: Is this gonna be a musical?"

"Yes, but the show about you is also a musical, but in a different way, where sometimes you guys will be the ones singing, while other times it will just be background music, as opposed to this show about Charlie where all the songs are sung by you guys. However, that reminds me of something I forgot to mention." He then snaps his fingers to summon a pair of earbuds & a blindfold for every person on the long ass table that was in front of them. "Some of the content that we'll be viewing has some very adult or violent imagery, & there will be some annoying songs that will be played every now & then. So, to make you all comfortable, I have just summoned for each of you a blindfold so you can avert your eyes from anything on screen that you find disgusting or uncomfortable, & a pair of earbuds so you can block out any of the annoying songs that might come up. However, you must ask for my permission to use them before doing so. Understood?" Everyone nodded in agreement.

 

Charlie: ♫ I'm always chasing rainbows. / Watching clouds drifting by. ♫

[The scene fades in on graffiti and signs that says "Fuck You, Heaven", "Punishment" and "Your Days Are Numbered" can be seen throughout Hell.]

Charlie: ♫ My schemes are just like all my dreams. / Ending in the sky. ♫

 

"So this is what Hell looks like?" Emily asked, "Pentious has described to me a little bit of what it looks like, but I had no exact idea of what it could be." This was her first time seeing it, and she was fascinated by some of the things she was seeing, like the fact that the sky was always red & that Heaven could be seen in the sky too.

"Yep, this is what Hell looks like kid." Blitzo answered, "And it definitely is the complete opposite of Heaven for a reason."

 

[Charlie heads towards the hotel's balcony as she releases fireworks that signals the rest of Hell that the Extermination has ended.]

 

"Wait, you can shoot fireworks out of your hands?! That's awesome as fuck!" Blitzo exclaimed.

"Oh yeah. That's just one of the many things that I'm capable of doing."

Blitzo was completely stunned that the Princess of Hell could do that, and he quickly turned to Stolas to ask, "Can you do that too??" with such excitement it was beaming off of him.

"As much as I would love to, unfortunately I cannot. That's reserved for Lucifer & his daughter only."

"Damnit! That would've been so fucking cool!" Blitzo pouts as he slumps in his chair with disappointment.

"Yeah, that's an amazing ability!" Millie chimed in, "It would be amazing to just do that with the tip of your fingers."

"It is. I used to only do it the day after an extermination as a way to signal that it has ended," Charlie explained, "but I've got a feeling that I probably won't need to anymore." She finished that sentence while looking at Pentious with a confident smile.

"Well, we shouldn't jinx ourselves hun." Vaggie said to her girlfriend, knowing that it wasn't definitive yet, but there was a strong possibility.

 

Charlie: ♫ Some fellows look and find the sunshine. ♫

[A handful of demons are seen checking the area to see if the coast is all clear.]

Charlie: ♫ I always look and find the rain. ♫

[Carmilla Carmine opens the blinds to her room, revealing the display of fireworks. The camera then proceeds to show Zestial and Zeezi, as well as Lucifer himself hiding in the shadows, present in the same room as her.]

 

That last shot made Lucifer stand up for a moment & said, "Hey, wait a minute... Is that supposed to be me?" He pointed at the shadow that was accompanying the overlords. "I don't remember being at their place after the extermination!" He then turned around to look at The Showstealer. "Can you explain to me why the fuck I happen to be there?"

"Well, before I do so, raise your hand if you happen to know what an animated pilot is." Stolas, Moxxie, Fizzarolli, Verosika, Angel Dust, & Alastor proceeded to raise their hands to answer the question. "That's about as many as I thought would be raised." He then signaled them to lower their hands as he turned his attention back to Lucifer. "Well, for your information your majesty, pilots are a rough concept for what the final product of a TV show will be. So even though most stuff in a pilot will be canon, there will be some small details that will be-"

Lucifer then realized what the answer was as he cut him off & thought aloud, "-not accurate?"

"Yes, and that was one of them. So keep that in mind while watching this episode in particular."

"Got it." Luci then sat back down in his chair with this new information in mind.

 

Charlie: ♫ Some fellows make a winning sometime. ♫

[At Porn Studios, Velvette takes a selfie with Vox whereas Valentino is not amused when he sees that he got a text from his employee.]

 

When the Vees made their appearance, Angie started feeling uncomfortable as he was looking at Val, while Alastor was widening his smile angrily as he looked at Vox. Husk tried comforting Angie, while Charlie had a weird sense of Deja Vu. "I don't know why, but I have an uncomfortable feeling just looking at the three of them together."

"How do I tell them?" The Showstealer whispered to himself while chuckling quietly with a devilish grin.

"Do you happen to know them?" Verosika asked towards Angel Dust, seeing as how he was uncomfortable while he was sitting next to her.

"Yeah, we do." Angie answered. "The moth guy, Valentino, is my abusive boss. He's in charge of making porn that I star in, while the TV guy, Vox, is Alastor's rival."

"Ah, so they're enemies. Good to know. I've had an abusive boss or two before in the past, so I know what it's like." She then asked him if she could comfort him too, to which he accepted.

"If it helps you feel any better Angel Dust, my ex-wife was an extremely abusive bitch when I was living with her, so you're not the only one." Stolas told him.

Angie smiled at the notion that there were people from this group of Hellborns who knew a thing or two about physical abuse. "Thanks guys."

 

Charlie: ♫ I never even make a gain. / Believe me. ♫

[Odette and another demon pull out an angelic spear from a corpse and leave as the cannibals waiting nearby pounce on her dead body. Rosie then crosses out Franklin's name from the sign above their business.]

Charlie: ♫ I'm always chasing rainbows. ♫

[A demon can be seen picking up a piece of a corpse and putting it in his meat cart as other demons begin to freely walk about in the open.]

Charlie: *in tears* ♫ Waiting to find a little bluebird... in vain. ♫

[Charlie looks back at the Clock Tower as it resets the timer for the next yearly cleanse.]

 

As the song finished, Emily looked to Charlie & said, "Charlie, despite the sad story behind it, that was a great song."

"Indeed," Stolas added, "You have, ironically, the voice of an angel. Your singing is absolutely beautiful."

"Yeah, you & I need to do a duet together girl!" Verosika commented.

"And I would love for my niece to come perform at one of my parties in the future. Your voice would be killer!" Bee exclaimed.

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind hearing a performance from you at one of her parties." Loona chimed in, which earned her a kiss on the cheek from her girlfriend.

Nearly everyone else thought the same as they started clapping & cheering for her wonderful performance, which made Charlie smile at the amazing support she was getting. "Thank you, everyone! That's so sweet of you to say. And as for those offers, Aunt Bee, I would absolutely love to join one of your parties & perform to see what they're like," Her aunt beamed with happiness hearing that, "And Verosika, I'm not gonna accept it right away, but I will definitely keep it in mind. It's just, Bee is my Aunt so..."

She smiled a little nervously, obviously not wanting to piss her off that she would immediately accept one but not the other, but thankfully Verosika understood by showing an understanding smile to her, and that made Charlie relax. Everyone else got back in their seats, after which Blitzo whispered in Charlie's ear, "Hey Charlie. You think during our first break, you could teach me how to get better at singing like that? I know Stolas likes to sing a lot & he's been wanting me to join him when he does, but I'm a bit tone-deaf & I want to get better."

She simply smiled at his wonderful gesture of caring towards her cousin, who was his boyfriend, & whispered back, "Absolutely."

 

[A sinner demon falls from the sky.]

Four-armed Demon: Aaaaah! *lands face-first onto the road and is shocked that he is still "alive"* Ugh. Huh? *checks himself* I'm alive! I'm alive-

[He then gets run over by a car driven by Travis, which Angel Dust gets out of]

 

Almost everyone winced in pain at the sight of the recently deceased getting run over. Even if some of them were skilled assassins, seeing a death happen like that was not the best sight for sore eyes.

 

Travis: Heh. Thanks for the fun time, hot stuff!

Angel Dust: *pushes his hand through his hair* Yeah, yeah, listen. *Fixes his hair more* Keep this discreet, you hear me? I can't let it get out I'm offerin' my services to randos on the street! It was a quick cash grab *makes a gesture with his fingers and snaps his fingers at him, smiling*. Ya got it?

 

"So, this is what you were doing on the day of Charlie's interview?" Vaggie commented towards Angie.

"Yeah, heh heh. Sorry about that." He replied sheepishly with a nervous smile.

"It's fine. It happened six months ago, so I've gotten over it. No hard feelings, Angie."

His smile relaxed at hearing that. "Thanks toots."

 

Travis: Pfft! Whatever you say, slut! Muhehehehehehe!

Angel Dust: *pretends to be offended* Ouch! Ooh! *turns back to face him* Such an insult! Let me know when you've come up with something creative to call me *looms over Travis and points at him with all his index fingers*, you sack of poorly packaged horse shit! Tell the missus I said "hi" *kisses him*, Shnuckums!

 

"Damn, nice comeback!" Blitzo said.

"Oh, why thank you, oh so magnificent handsome imp." Angie said with a little smug bow.

"For your information, he's my magnificent handsome imp," Stolas replied jealously towards Angie while squeezing his beloved assassin, "So don't get any ideas!"

"Oh please, I'm already taken." He replied while putting two arms around Husk's shoulders & waist, which earned a blushing smile from the former overlord.

 

Travis: *defeatedly* Pack a - puh...

[As Travis angrily drives off, Angel looks behind him to see a vending machine for his namesake drugs. He goes for the angel dust and just as he gets a hold of it, a random demon runs by and steals his drugs.]

Feathered Demon: Yoink!

Angel Dust: *annoyed* Hey!

Feathered Demon: Up yours, drag show!

[A boulder proceeds to fall out of the sky, crushing the feathered demon alongside Angel's drugs. Angel gasps.]

Angel Dust: Oh, my GOD! *leans in to pick up what's left of his pack of drugs with a devastated look on his face* MY DRUGS! *clenches the cloth angrily and looks up* Damn it!

[A war ship can be seen passing by, destroying its surroundings.]

 

As soon as the war ship was visible, Pentious knew what was going to be shown & he wasn't gonna be happy while watching it. "Oh, no" He facepalms in embarrassment.

"Hey, what's wrong snakey boy?" Barbie asked.

"We're about to see what I used to do when I lived in Hell, and I was a pathetic excuse for a villain. Oh this is going to be so embarrassing."

"Hey, relax Penny." Emily assured with a smile, "This was the old you, not the new you. It's okay to be ashamed of what you did, 'cause it shows you really have changed. It's okay to feel that way."

He then formed a smile at the reassurance from her new heavenly friend. "Thank you Miss Emily."

 

[The camera zooms in on the war ship, revealing Sir Pentious and the Egg Boiz inside.]

Sir Pentious: *operating the controls to his ship* Ahahahahahahahahahahah! Those other cowardly ssssinners dare not hinder my territorial take over! A wise decision! The power of my machines are unmatched! *proceeds to push two levers as his hood flares open* No other demon can compare to the likesss of I!

Egg Boi #23: Gee! That was pretty swell, boss!

Egg Boi #666: Yeah!

Other Egg Boi: You really showed them what for! I liked when you *his hand mimics the action of a shooting ray gun* shot them with your ray gun! *gets slapped away by Sir Pentious*

Egg Boi #23: I wish he'd shoot me with his ray gun! *Other Egg Boi pats him*

 

"What the hell are those little critters?" Sallie May asked.

"Those are my Egg Boiz," Pentious replied, "They were my minions as well as my company back when I lived in Hell. I lost them the day I died, and they didn't come up with me to Heaven. I miss them greatly." He felt like he was going to tear up thinking about them.

"Aww, they're so cute!" Millie exclaimed happily, "I bet they were great company!"

"Well, for your information snakey, one of them did survive, & you can thank me for saving their ass." Angel Dust said to the snake.

"Wait, really?! Which one was it?"

"Your highest ranked, Frank. They're still at the Hotel, though I'm not sure what they're doing right now."

The mention of someone being left behind instantly made Millie realize they left someone behind too. "Oh no. I just realized Mox, we left the kids behind at home! What are we gonna do?!" She started having a panic attack with her husband starting to worry too, & their friends tried to comfort them until The Showstealer spoke up.

"Oh, don't worry about your little ones. This is something else I should've mentioned in the beginning, but I'd like to mention that they're not gonna be able to do anything since your reality is frozen in time right now."

Everyone's eyes widened hearing that part as they all looked back at him & shouted in unison, "WHAT?!"

"Let me explain: You see, this theater I created happens to exist in its own separate reality, one where time does not exist. So because of that, whenever I pull someone from a different reality, their reality is instantly frozen until that person returns. So, when all of you return, it'll look like you never left at all."

When he finished explaining, everyone started breathing out a sigh of relief. "Whew, that's good to know." Moxxie said.

"Yeah! I was worried Sera & Lute were gonna find out." Emily added while turning around to their host to say, "Thanks for the info."

"Anytime!" He replied while holding a thumbs-up.

 

Sir Pentious: *hood flares open* At this rate, I will seize control of the entire west side of The Pentagram by day's end! *pushes a few buttons* And nothing, *pulls levers towards him* not a single beast in this inferno of suffering will be able to take back this empire from *squeezes an Egg Boi with his tail* my constrictive grasp!

[An Egg Boi suddenly pops on screen and pops open a bottle of whiskey onto Sir Pent's face. Sir Pent proceeds to swat said Egg Boi aside before throwing the squeezed Egg Boi aside as well.]

Random Egg Boi: Oh, boy!

Sir Pentious: Hell will be mine! And everybody will know the name of Sir Pen-

[Sir Pentious is interrupted by a scream coming from offscreen. Sir Pent and two Egg Boiz become surprised.]

Cherri Bomb: EDGELORD!

 

"Oh boy, here I come!"

 

Sir Pentious: *offended* Pardon?! *looks around angrily and eyes the two Egg Boiz behind him* Who said that?! What did you just say to me, you fried chicken fetuses?! *hisses* Speak up!

The Two Egg Boiz: *petrified* That wasn't us, Mr. Bossman.

[A small bomb with a print of a skull on it breaks through Sir Pent's ship. It then lands right between Sir Pent and the two Egg Boiz. The bomb proceeds to blow up, leaving red smoke behind.]

Sir Pentious: *coughs and hacks*

[As the smoke clears up, the owner of the scream is revealed to be Cherri Bomb as she prepares another bomb in hand.]

Cherri Bomb: You lookin' for a fight, old man?! *begins to juggle around her cherry bomb* Why don't you get that tinker toy bullshit off my turf before I *proceeds to throw and catch the bomb* smash it?!

[A large pipe falls on top of an already dead Egg Boi, crushing him as Sir Pent and Cherri momentarily look at the carnage.]

Cherri Bomb: *grins sadistically* ....More!

 

"Damn, you're really good!" Loona complimented.

"Thanks mate!"

 

Sir Pentious: Oh! *hood flares open* You wanna go, missy?! Well, I'm happy to oblige! Ahahah!

[Sir Pentious is then backed up by his henchmen of Egg Boiz.]

[The logo for 666 News is shown on a black background, which is followed by the day's newscast.]

Katie Killjoy: Good afternoon, I'm Katie Killjoy.

Tom Trench: And I'm Tom Trench! Chaos out at Pentagram City today as a turf war is raging on the west side!

 

"Oh boy, here we go!" Charlie realized what was going to be shown next & she wasn't happy. "This is gonna be embarrassing!" She decides to facepalm herself like Pentious did a few moments ago. Vaggie then pats her on the back to comfort her.

"Hey, what's wrong princess?" Blitzo asked while holding her arm to give her some comfort himself.

"My interview promoting the Hotel is gonna be shown next, & it was a disaster!"

"Oh, I see. Well, like the angel kid said earlier, this shit happened a while ago for you guys, right? So there's nothing to be worried about. Sure, we might find it embarrassing, but we're not gonna think of anything different from you."

She smiled at how kind he was being towards her. "Thank you. You know, you don't have to be this nice to me."

"I know, which is why I'm choosing to be nice to you." They both smiled at each other as Blitzo held her right hand while Vaggie held her left one.

"You know Blitzo, you're actually not as bad as I thought you would be. You're pretty cool."

"While I appreciate the compliment, trust me bud, you're about to see the REAL me after this."

As they looked back at the screen with more confidence, Barbie looked absolutely befuddled at how nice her twin brother was being right now. "I never took you for the sympathetic kind, Blitzo."

"Well first of all, fuck you," As he then proceeded to flip her off with his free hand. "And secondly, I've changed a lot in the past year, & I have a new life & family to prove it. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to focus my attention back to the show."

Barbie was annoyed with how he responded & Emily decided to whisper if she was okay in her ear & Barb responded by saying, "It's a long story. I might tell you about it during the break." Emily nodded & they went back to watching the show.

 

[An image of Sir Pentious trying to be hip, followed by a drawing of Cherri flipping the bird is shown.]

Tom Trench: Between notable kingpin, Sir Pentious, and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse, Cherri Bomb!

 

"Ugh, I hate that picture I took of myself!" Pentious said.

"Yeah, that picture makes you look so bad!" Loona commented.

"That is not how you try to be 'hip with the kids'. That's how you make yourself look cringe." Octavia added. Everyone else agreed as they cringed looking at Pentious' attempt at looking cool & hip. Even Charlie & Emily couldn't help but look disgusted at his image.

 

Katie Killjoy: That's right, Tom! After the recent Extermination, many areas are now up for grabs! Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory!

[A live clip of Cherri and Sir Pentious's clash is shown.]

Tom Trench: Those two seem to be really going at it, huh?

Katie Killjoy: Looks like they're fighting tooth and nail *fishes out a tooth and a nail respectively from her mug of coffee* for that hot spot! *proceeds to swallow said tooth and nail*

 

Some people felt like they were going to throw up seeing Katie swallow both of those objects into her mouth. It was disgusting to say the least.

 

Tom Trench: *looking over at the live broadcast focusing on Cherri* And I'd sure like to nail her hot spot! *wiggles eyebrows* Hoohoo!

Katie Killjoy: Haha, you are a limp-dick jackass, Tom! Or should I say - *pours scalding hot coffee onto his crotch* no dick?

Tom Trench: *curls over in pain* Ugh...not again!

 

Everyone once again winced in pain seeing Katie pour something so hot onto his dick like that. That was the worst kind of pain anybody could receive.

 

(Screen shows a picture of Charlie as Tom can still be heard whimpering in pain in the background.)

Katie Killjoy: Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of Hell's own head honcho who's here to discuss her brand new passion project! All that and more, after the break! *crushes her mug in her hand and turns to Trench who's still in pain* Suck it up, you little bi-!

(The news cast cuts off and goes on a commercial break.)

[The camera pans out from a nearby screen, focusing on Charlie and her girlfriend as she fixes Charlie's bow.]

Vaggie: *exhales* Okay! You remember what to say?

Charlie: *inhales* Yes! Let's do this!

Vaggie: (in a serious tone) Just, look at me and I'll mouth it to you.

Charlie: Come on, Vaggie! *bends backward* I know what to say! I just feel like we need to...I don't know, *grabs and throws a doughnut away* make things sound more exciting! *Gasps* Hooo! What if I si-

Vaggie: *cutting Charlie off* -Sing a song about it?

Charlie: You knew I was gonna say that! *boops Vaggie on the nose*

Vaggie: Because I know you *fixes her bow again*. But, please don't sing! *shakes Charlie* This is serious!

 

Asmodeus smiled at how genuine & affectionate both his niece & her girlfriend were to each other. "Now that is what I call a wholesome couple." He whispered to his boyfriend, who chuckled lightly at his comment.

"Aww, you two are so cute together!" Millie exclaimed. Charlie & Vaggie both blushed at the compliment, but smiled at it nevertheless.

 

Charlie: Well, you know, I'm better at expressing myself and my goals through song!

[Charlie stands on the table where Razzle and Dazzle are happily munching on doughnuts, watching her.]

Vaggie: But, life isn't a musical, hon. *places hands on hips*

 

"I constantly tell Stolas that all the time whenever he tries to break into song at a bad time!" Blitzo remarked.

"Blitzy!" He said, offended.

"Well it's not my fucking fault that it's one of your favorite hobbies!" The imp said with a smug ass grin.

"Fuck you." He shoved his lover playfully & they both chuckled at each other for their remarks.

"They are way too wholesome." Via said to Loona.

"Well, at least they're happy together."

 

Charlie: Fine. But, I have these other ideas of what to say! *starts bouncing a bit as she shows Vaggie a piece of paper* The highlighted bits are the best part!

Vaggie: Uh, it's all highlighted. *squints* Is this a drawing...?

Charlie: Yes! That's the happy ending, see?! *begins to fantasize* Everyone smiling and happy in Heaven!

Vaggie: *pinches the bridge of her nose* I don't think it's that simple. Just please follow the talking points we went over. And *grabs Charlie to face her* do not sing!

Charlie: Okay, fiiiine. (in a faux British accent) I'll just have to resort to my impeccable improv skills! *salutes Vaggie as she walks over to Katie Killjoy*

 

"Well, at least it's better than my wrathian accent. Mine is terrible!" Fizz remarked.

 

Charlie: (nervously) Hiii! I'm Charlie. *tries to go for a handshake*

Katie Killjoy: Katie Killjoy. *blows out the smoke of her cigarette* I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you, but that would be a lie. *throws away her cigarette* And you can put that away. *gestures to Charlie's hand* I don't touch the gays. I have standards!

 

"Excuse me, the fuck did you just say you pride hating bitch?!" Blitzo exclaimed angrily. Everyone in the theater was highly offended by Katie's comment on the LGBT community, as only three of them were actually gays & the rest were not, but even then, Stolas, Fizz, & Angel were the ones taking the offensive remark the most personally.

"And this is why she is one of the characters I hate the most." The Showstealer commented while holding rainbow flags. "LGBT all the way baby!"

 

Charlie: Yeah? How's uh... how's that working out for ya? [turns to look at the "Hell's #1 News" neon sign behind her]

Katie Killjoy: Look, my time is money. So, I'll keep this short. [proceeds to poke Charlie's chest and nose] You're not here because we wanted you here. You're here because Jeffrey couldn't make it for his cannibal cooking segment.

[A billboard of Jeffrey's cannibalism cooking show titled "It's Dahm Good!" can be seen in the background.]

Katie Killjoy: You might be some royal big shot *fluffs her hair*, but that doesn't mean shit to me. I'm too rich and too influential to give a flying fuck about what some tux-wearing demon *does air quotes with her fingers* "princess" wants to advertise.

[Tom can be seen shaking his head in disapproval as Katie boasts about her wealth and influence to Charlie.]

Charlie: But, I-

Katie Killjoy: *continues to poke her chest* So, don't get cute with me, honey, or I will fucking bury you!

 

Lucifer was getting extremely pissed off at how Katie was treating his daughter. He was getting so pissed off that a fiery aura was starting to become visible.

"Hey, uh, your highness?" Asked Sallie May, "You okay or do you need a moment?" She was starting to get a little concerned about what would happen if the King of Hell decided to show off his true power, but thankfully he heard her concerned tone & started to calm down a little.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But I definitely need to see this Killjoy person when we get home & give her a piece of my mind!"

"You mind if me & Oz joined ya?" Bee asked while looking a little pissed, along with said sin of lust.

"Not at all, Bee. Not at all." Lucifer said with a devilish grin.

 

News Staff: And we're live!

[Killjoy rushes back to her desk, holding papers while cracking her neck.]

Katie Killjoy: Welcome back! So, Charlotte!

Charlie: It's... Charlie. *smiles nervously as a spotlight flashes her way*

Katie Killjoy: Whatever. Tell us about this new passion project you've been insistently pestering our news station about! *tries to hold in her outburst by clenching her pen*

Charlie: *looks around as Vaggie motions her to go on* Well, *clears throat and exhales* as most of you know, I was born here in Hell and growing up, I always tried to see the good in everyone around me.

[Killjoy spots a slug and stabs it with her pen, the slug's blood bursts all over.]

Charlie: Hell is my home and- *gets slug blood splattered across her cheek which she then wipes off* you are my people. We... we just went through another Extermination.

[Vaggie is seen giving Charlie two thumbs up as Killjoy quickly starts to lose interest.]

Charlie: We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year. No one is even given *slams fist on table, waking Killjoy up* a chance! *walks up from Killjoy's desk* I can't stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such violence! So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? *walks around the audience* Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption? *throws her arm around one of the News Cast's staff members* Well, I think yes! So, that's what this project aims to achieve! *returns to Killjoy's desk* Ladies and gentlemen, I'm opening the first of its kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!

[Her broadcast is being shown at The Radio Shack, which many other demons are also watching by the streets and everywhere else in Hell.]

 

While Charlie was giving her speech, Blitzo noticed one of the imps in the crowd at the studio looked awfully familiar. In fact, they almost looked like him. He turned around towards The Showstealer to ask him about that. "Hey, Showstealer man. Is that imp in the crowd supposed to be me?"

"Actually, yes, it is supposed to be you. This show was being worked on around 2017, while yours began near the end of 2018. That imp is a prototype version of you, & you're included because originally you were supposed to be a part of this show with Moxxie as the comedic reliefs, but you were given your own show because VivziePop, the person who created your reality, felt that it wouldn't fit the more dramatic tone this show has."

Blitzo, Moxxie, & Charlie were all astonished by this news. Not only was Moxxie actually conceptualized at the same time as his boss/best friend, but they were gonna be with the princess of Hell originally. "Wow, that's a lot of... that's just a lot." Blitzo finally said, breaking the silence. "Thanks for the info, man."

"You're more than welcome, my friend." The Showstealer said right back at him with a complimenting smile.

 

Charlie: *starts to lose her confidence* Y'know? 'Cause hotels are for people passin' through... temporarily...

Lizard Demon: Ahahaha! IS this girl for real?! She thinks- *tries to hold in his laughter* You hear what she thinks?! She thi- HAHA! Ah, she's nuts. *walks out of The Kaiju Klub with his friends, Zeezi and another demon*

 

"Yeah, I don't know if you should be laughing anymore bitch!" Angel Dust stated. "Because we got our proof right over there." He pointed to Sir Pentious with a bold smile, who in return was blushing proudly that he was the one to realize Charlie's dream.

 

Charlie: I think it'll serve a purpose... a place to work toward redemption... yay...!

[The scene cuts back to the demons watching her broadcast from The Radio Shack. A mysterious figure walks up to see her broadcast alongside a bunch of other demons watching, including Crymini.]

 

"Oh, so that's how you found out about the Hotel." Charlie said to Alastor as she saw his silhouette.

"Yes, that is exactly how I found out about your Hotel." He replied. "I was enjoying my morning stroll when I noticed a bunch of people lined up near that window, so I wanted to see what the fuss was about, & I was simply entertained by what I was watching."

"You know," The Showstealer cut in, "that fox-looking sinner right there, whose name is Crymini, will actually be one of your future patrons."

"Wait, really?!" Charlie exclaimed in shock. "How do you know?"

"She was one of the earliest characters conceptualized for your show, but for some reason has been on the backlog for actually appearing in it so far. I don't know when she'll join, but she will join regardless."

"Well, we'll definitely try to get her to join us when we go back home."

 

Cameraman Demon: *snickers* Stupid bitch.

Vaggie: *punches the cameraman square in the face*

 

"Nice hook." Loona complimented towards Vaggie, to which she responded with a thanks.

 

Charlie: *looks around, saddened* Look, every single one of you has something good, deep down inside. I know you do! ...Maybe I'm not getting through to you.

[Razzle and Dazzle are then alerted that Charlie's about to sing and that she may need their back-up vocals.]

Vaggie: *facepalms* Oh, no...

[Charlie snaps her fingers as the room turns dark and a spotlight is shown over a piano that Charlie, Razzle and Dazzle start performing on. Meanwhile, back at The Radio Shack, Alastor and his shadow can be seen tilting their heads curiously as their smiles widen.]

Charlie: ♫ I have a dream, I'm here to tell! / *walks away from the piano as two news staff look at each other* About a wonderful fantastic new *takes out a drawing of the Happy Hotel* hotel! ♫

 

"Oh no, here we go." Charlie said in agony. "This is gonna be awful."

"Aw, c'mon Charlie, just have fun with the song with the rest of us." Millie said, trying to cheer her up. "I won't mind hearing you sing again." Everyone else agreed with her statement, which boosted Charlie's confidence a little bit.

"Alright, I'll have fun with you guys, but don't be too surprised by the reactions afterwards from the studio audience." She warned them.

 

Charlie: ♫ Yes, it's one-of-a-kind! Right here in Hell, catering to a specific clientele *boops Dazzle's nose*. ♫

Razzle and Dazzle: ♫ Oooh, ooh, ooh~ ♫

[Killjoy is in shock as Trench looks around, confused.]

Charlie: ♫ Inside of every demon is a rainbow *throws her arm around the necks of two bird demons*! Inside every sinner is a shiny smile *passes underneath a hellhound's tail*! Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac is a jolly, happy cupcake-loving child *hands the masked demon a sparkling cupcake and pats his head*! ♫

 

When Charlie passed by a Hellhound, Loona immediately picked up on their appearance & realized she looked pretty similar to herself. She then decided to ask their host the same question her dad asked. "Did she just pass by what is supposed to be me?"

"Yep. Just like with your dad a moment ago, that's an early prototype version of you Charlie just passed by."

Loona was surprised by the answer as she looked back at what was supposed to be her, & she noticed that unlike her dad's earlier appearance where he looked very similar to how he looks currently, she looked completely different here. But she snapped out of her thoughts when Barbie Wire spoke up. "Wait a second, you're my brother's daughter?"

"Adopted daughter, yes. I was adopted by him a month before I turned 18, so I was literally saved by the last minute because if he didn't adopt me, I would've ended up on the streets with absolutely nothing. I will admit though, I wasn't the nicest to him at first, because of trust issues I developed from other Hellhounds at the pound I was raised at, but I eventually realized I needed to be more vulnerable with him if he was going to be more vulnerable towards everyone, so I'm now eternally grateful for him saving my life." She finished her explanation with a loving smile towards her father, along with her step-sister/best friend & her bird dad, who all in return gave her a loving smile too as they all hugged each other.

"Aww, that is so sweet!" Charlie said, looking like she was going to burst into happy tears. "You are a great father, Blitzo!"

"Thank you." He said back. Now Barb was even more surprised when she now learned this new information about Blitzo having raised an adult daughter for a couple years now. Just how much has she missed by ignoring him completely?

 

Charlie: ♫ We can turn them 'round! *turns to Killjoy and Trench* They'll be Heaven-bound! With just a little time, down at the Happy Hotel! *camera pans to the audience where Vaggie stands with a disappointed expression* ♫

Charlie: ♫ So, all you junkies *takes out syringe from a doll demon's head*, freaks *takes a pic with a Siamese twin demon in its cage*, and weirdos *fends off a several-eyed blob demon*. Creepers *stares at a snail demon out the window*, fuck-ups *boops a couch demon on the nose*, crooks, and zeroes *returns the stolen money to charity*, and down-fallen superheroes *throws her hands behind the necks of two supervillain demons*, help is here! ♫

Charlie: ♫ All of you cretins *dips her hair into the water by the pier*, sluts *holds out a pair of panties in disgust*, and losers *calls her rival a loser*, sexual deviants *backs away from the sex offenders*, and boozers *turns to face a depressed demon*, and prescription drug abusers *throws away the drugs a blue demon is taking into a burning trash can*, need not fear!

Charlie: ♫ Forever again *A demon lands on a wheelchair and is pushed by Razzle towards Charlie and Dazzle*, we'll cure your sin *shows the demon her clipboard*! We'll make you well *Dazzle injects a happiness serum into the patient*, you'll feel so swell! Right here in Hell *briefly turns to her full demonic form*, at the Happy Hotel! ♫

[Razzle continues to aggressively play the piano.]

Charlie: ♫ *slides over to Killjoy's right* There'll be no more fire, *slides over to Trench's left* and no more screams. Just puppy dog kisses *holds a dog close to her face*, and cotton candy dreams *holds out a stick of cotton candy*, and puffy-wuffy clouds *cuddles both the dog and cotton candy*, you're gonna be like "Wow!" *camera pans out showing the clouds forming the word "Wow!"* Once you check in with meee *shows a check-in chart*! ♫

[Vaggie is seen with both her hands covering her face.]

Charlie: ♫ So, all your cartoon porn addictions *confiscates a neckbeard demon's cartoon porn magazine*, vegan rants *confiscates a vegan demon's Hellphone and takes a selfie with it*, psychic predictions *confiscates the spell books and crystal ball of a psychic demon*, ancient Roman crucifixions *avoids running into a crucified demon and knocks over two other crucified demons*, end right here *throws away all the confiscated items off a cliff*! ♫

Charlie: ♫ All you monsters *clenches the hands of two monstrous demons*, thieves, and crazies *points finger guns over a dog demon trying to steal baguettes from Zestial who unfurls his cloak to terrify him*, cannibals *tempts the cannibals with a severed arm on a plate*, and crying babies *looks at a possum mother and her rabid babies, annoyed*, frothing mouths that's full of rabies filled with cheer *pulls a hellhound with rabies close to her*! ♫

Charlie: ♫ You'll be complete *completes a puzzle demon as the camera pans out*! It'll be so neat *a wrecking ball demon destroys the puzzle demon as Charlie gives two thumbs up*! Our service can't be beat *in her bellhop uniform*! You'll be on easy street, yes *hugs three demons, which include Mimzy*! Life will be sweet *turns to her demonic form* at the Happy Hoteeel *twirls happily in flames as she jumps up, revealing a land made of candies and sweets behind her*! Yeah! ♫

[Charlie ends the song, rather exhausted as everyone in the news station looks at her with disgust and disbelief.]

 

Everyone started clapping & cheering for Charlie's performance, to which she stood up & bowed down to them as they do in the show business. When she sat back down, Alastor poured out some thoughts he had in his mind while also asking a question to Charlie. "Hmm, I just realized, I recognize some of the demons that were present during your little musical number, such as Zestial & Mimzy, but who was that person you called a loser?"

"Wait, Zestial & Mimzy were there? I didn't even notice them." Charlie said in a surprised fashion. "But to answer your question, that was Hellsa von Eldritch, my rival. She's the sister of my past boyfriend, Seviathan, who are both royals of Hell. I broke up with him around the time I started my Hotel & found Vaggie, but even when I was dating him, I fucking hated her so much! She was nothing but a stuck-up rich asshole!" She said that last part while being in partial demonic forms.

"I didn't know you used to have a boyfriend." Vaggie commented.

"Oh, yeah, guess I never told you about him, huh. I broke up with him 'cause I obviously knew he wouldn't see my project the way you do, but I'm still very good friends with him & we still keep in contact. I definitely would like for you to meet him one day!"

"That would be nice. Maybe we can have him come on over to the Hotel sometime after we get back."

"Yeah!" Meanwhile, The Showstealer muttered to himself, "I wonder when that will be."

 

Top Hat Demon: Wow! ...That was shit!

[Everyone in the audience including Killjoy and Trench begin to laugh at Charlie. Charlie looks crushed and devastated and slumps back down to her seat. There was a boo section in the news and the demons look uninterested]

Blue Flame Demon: *deadpan* Booooo!

 

"Oh fuck you, ya piece of shit!" Millie yelled angrily. "Her song was amazing!"

"Yeah, if you didn't like it, then keep it to yourself, asshole!" Blitzo added.

"You don't know art when you see it, you cocksucking bitch!" Verosika shouted while giving the bird.

"I may not be much of a singer, but even I thought her performance was great, so shut the fuck up, shithead!" Fizz remarked. Nearly everyone else was ready to throw down some hands & kick a ton of ass for the insults they were spitting out.

 

Katie Killjoy: What in the Nine Circles makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person?! You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to be good?! Just... because?! *continues to laugh*

Charlie: Well, we have a patron already, who believes in our cause and he's shown incredible progress!

Katie Killjoy: *feigns shock* Oh? And who might that be?

Charlie: *tries to look smug and confident* Oh, just someone named... Angel Dust!

Tom Trench: The porn star?

Katie Killjoy: *turns to him menacingly* You fucking would, Tom! *turns back to Charlie* In any case, that's not even an accomplishment. I'm sure you could get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube *motions doing a handjob*.

 

"Oh, I'm killing her the next time I see her." Angel Dust blurted out loud. He was insulted by how predictable Katie thought he was. He's not just a porn star, he's so much more than that!

 

Charlie: Oh, I beg to differ! *begins to count on her fingers* He's been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now.

News Staff: *offscreen* Breaking News!

[Killjoy shoves Charlie off her desk.]

Katie Killjoy: We are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war! Let's go to the live feed.

[The live feed shows Angel Dust stepping on an Egg Boi and throwing a grenade over at Sir Pentious with visible laughter in the background as Charlie stares at the screen in defeat.]

 

"Oh shit." Angel Dust looked like he was going to be ridiculed for this.

"Angel, like I said before, it's been a long while since then. You don't have to worry about it." Vaggie reassured.

"No, it's not that, it's just... I might've said a few harsh things about you two during this fight, and I feel I'm gonna be insulted right back for it."

"Oh... I get it now. Well, I'm gonna try my best not to be offended by it, okay?" She said as Angel nodded while hanging his head in shame.

 

Charlie: Oh... shit.

Angel Dust (in the background): I'm a bad person!

Katie Killjoy: "Oh, shit" indeed! It looks like the one who just joined the battle is none other than *feigns a gasp* porn actor, Angel Dust! *turns to Charlie as she shakes her fist* What a juicy coincidence! You must feel really stupid, right now.

[Killjoy and Trench proceed to laugh at Charlie.]

Killjoy and Trench: *does Jazz hands* Ratings!

[Charlie stares at the live feed in distress and attempts to block it from the audience's view.]

Charlie: Don't look at this!

Katie Killjoy: Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival. *looms over Charlie* Tell us, how does it feel to be a total failure? *everyone in the room starts bursting into laughter*

 

Now Lucifer was booming with anger at how Katie was not treating his daughter the way she should be treated. "You know what, that's it! I'm gonna smite her first thing when we get back! No one talks back to my daughter like that & gets away with it!!"

 

Charlie: *tries to think of a comeback* Yeah, well... *looks around* How does it feel that I got your pen, huh?! *grabs Killjoy's ballpen* ...Bitch!

[Everybody instantly stops laughing while Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench give her the death stare]

Charlie: *nervously* Ehehe... *puts pen back down* Oops.

[Tom Trench runs off set.]

[Killjoy's demonic form reveals itself as she looms over Charlie from the shadows.]

 

"Oh shit" Loona said aloud. "Please tell me you kicked her ass?"

"I did, though I don't think we'll get to see it." Charlie replied.

"Damn it!"

 

[Purplish red smoke transitions into Angel Dust and Cherri Bomb fighting Egg Boiz.]

Cherri Bomb: Heyyy, thanks for the back up, Angie!

Angel Dust: Hahaha!

[Cherri Bomb fires a rocket launcher.]

Angel Dust: You kiddin'? This is the best action I've seen in ages! *puts hands behind his head while closing his two eyes*

Cherri Bomb: *launching another cherry bomb* Where've you been, anyway? I thought you up and died or some shit.

Angel Dust: *lighting a bomb and handing it to her* Oh, I wish! I've been staying at this crappy hotel on the other side of town. *his two eyes closed*Some broads are lettin' me stay rent-free if I play nice.

[They both cover their heads as the explosion sets off behind them, then grin at each other as they jump into the field.]

Angel Dust: *Continues to shoot down Egg Boiz with what seems to be a drum mag M1928 Thompson* Y'know, no fights, no pranks, no "problematic language"... Her words, not mine. *steps on a broken tile, launching an Egg Boi airborne and shoots him from behind as he sighs again* These crazy bitches are no fun! I've been clean for two weeks!

Cherri Bomb: *in disbelief, smiling* Ho-ly shit!

Angel Dust: *looks at the leftover smudge on his finger* Well, sorta clean. *destroys an incoming Egg Boi* Just clean as you can get from a shitload of Bolivian marching powder! *gets chained and thrown aside by Sir Pentious*

 

Angel groaned at how embarrassing it was to see him insult the only two people who genuinely wanted to help him, despite the fact that he has been improving himself a ton since then. Verosika & Husk were comforting while he looked back, with an ashamed expression, at Charlie & Vaggie, who were giving him sympathetic smiles, which showed him that they had forgiven him since the incident & he smiled back at them in return. This entire sequence, however, put an idea in Charlie's head that she would bring up later, as she wanted to give Angie the space he needed.

 

Angel Dust: Ohh!~ Harder, Daddy! *raises left eyebrow*

Sir Pentious: *taking it seriously as he gasps* Son?!

[Angel lowers eyebrow as Cherri kicks Sir Pentious to the side.]

 

"Oh my gosh, I am so old." Pentious groaned while facepalming for a second time.

"Yeah, you're an old man, but you're my old man." Cherri told him with a loving smile, which cheered him up a little.

"Thank you Cherri." They then proceeded to briefly kiss. After which, Moxxie directed his attention.

"If it makes you feel any better, sometimes I take stuff people say a little too literally sometimes, so you're not the only one."

"Thank you Mister Moxxie."

 

Sir Pentious: *hood flares open* Grr! You whores have no classss! In war, The side remembered is the side with the most ssstyle! *adjusts tie*

Cherri Bomb: Or the side that ain't dead! *decapitates an Egg Boi*

Angel Dust: *stands up and removes the chains restricting him* Speakin' a style, is your hat like, alive or something?

Sir Pentious: Oh! Well, that's none of your GOD DAMN BUSSSSINESS! Now, is it?

 

"Actually, since I'm now past... this phase, I figured I might as well answer your question by saying, yes. It is alive but it mainly has the same reactions I have at the moment." Everyone thought that was a pretty neat fact about him.

 

Angel Dust: Hah, would that make your hat the top and you the bottom?

[A sign that says "Loser" can be seen in the background pointing at Sir Pentious as an Egg Boi acknowledges the roast.]

Egg Boi: *cups hands* Oooooh! *gets a pebble thrown at him by Sir Pentious*

 

"You know, if that was directed towards anybody else, I would laugh my fucking ass off at that, but it was directed towards you, so I'm gonna try & restrain myself from laughing so I don't hurt your feelings." Blitzo said to the snake winner, who replied with a thank you. In reality, it was harder to manage because it was too good of an insult not to laugh at.

"Yeah, sorry about that one snakey. I promise I won't say something like that again towards you." Angel said to him while Pentious nodded with a smile.

 

Sir Pentious: (enraged) I'm going to blow you to bitssss!

Angel Dust: *eyes him up and down* Hm, kinky!

Sir Pentious: Oh, not like that! *hood flares open as a sign that says "Pussy" can be seen pointing at him in the background* Pervert! *knocks over an Egg Boi*

[Angel notices an Egg Boi with a tentacle launcher which causes him to push Cherri to the side out of fear.]

[Angel gets tangled up in all the tentacles.]

Sir Pentious: Not so cocky now, are we?!

Angel Dust: (unamused) Y'know, you really gotta watch what comes outta ya mouth. I've been making these sex jokes the whole *limbs gets pulled on as Sir Pentious reveals a drill which jump starts* TIME! *reveals his third pair of arms carrying a gun* And it's obvious ya ain't catchin' on. I mean, it's just *pulls out M1928* sad! *shoots it at Sir Pentious*

 

"Wait, so you have three pairs of arms?" Via asked Angel. "Why do you not have all of them out at once?"

"It's because I don't feel it's necessary to have six arms out, especially for my line of work. I feel that four arms is enough to entice people."

"Got it." She abruptly cut him off 'cause she didn't want to hear more about his *shudder* porn career.

 

Cherri Bomb: So, think you're gonna get in a lotta trouble for this?

Angel Dust: Eh, *retracts his third set of arms* what's one little brawl gonna cause?

[Charlie and Killjoy can be seen trying to duking it out on each other like it's some sort of WWE match while a fire alarm goes off in the background with Trench entering the scene, covered in flames.]

Tom Trench: WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP ME?!

 

Everyone was laughing at Tom's misfortune, including Angel, which made him feel a bit better since he was feeling mighty uncomfortable with the entire situation that was being presented.

 

Cherri Bomb: Glad you haven't changed! *slugs him on the arm* You know you're my favorite guy to party with!

Angel Dust: You know it, sugar tits!

Cherri Bomb: *takes out one last bomb* You ready to finish this?

Angel Dust: *takes out Thompson gun* Born ready, baby!

[Angel and Cherri pounce onto Sir Pentious and his army as they prepare to clash, Charlie and Killjoy are still at each other's throats screaming, Trench is still on fire, screaming in agony. The camera shows all the characters present, screaming as the scene turns silent.]

[The royal family limousine can be seen driving back to the hotel. Charlie can be seen hugging her knees and looking out the window when her jacket is ruined after Katie Killjoy attacked her, while Vaggie sits next to her, glaring furiously at Angel Dust.]

[Charlie sighs as Vaggie's eye twitches at Angel Dust, who can be seen amusing himself by playing with the car window roller repeatedly.]

[Vaggie scrunches up her face.]

Angel Dust: *taking notice* ...What?

Vaggie: "What?", "WHAT?!" What were you DOING?! *rips off bits of her hair*

 

Angel groaned once again for what felt like the fifth time during this viewing because of what was about to be shown. Meanwhile, Sallie May muttered to herself, "She musta' been really pissed if she ripped out her hair."

 

Angel Dust: *sighs* I owed my girl buddy a solid! Isn't that a "redeeming quality"? *does air quotes* Helping friends with stuff? *rolls eyes*

Vaggie: Not with turf wars that result in territorial genocide!

Angel Dust: Eh, you win some, you lose a few hundred. *his two eyes closed* Ehahahahahah! *inhales* It wasn't that bad, anyway. *proceeds to play with the button of the car window roller*

 

"You know, he actually has a point." Emily pointed out to Vaggie. "I mean, did we really see anyone die in that situation?" Vaggie was about to refute that until she realized that she was right. Nobody actually died during the whole thing. It was just a couple of Egg Boiz that got scrambled.

"You know what, you're right. I guess... Maybe my reaction was a bit much." She turned towards Angel who looked absolutely miserable. "Angie, I'm sorry for my outburst that day. I realize I wouldn't have been as mad if I had known that you didn't actually kill anybody during the whole thing. Honestly, now that I'm seeing everything, I see that I should be mad at Katie Killjoy for the jackass bitch that she is. So, no hard feelings, ok?"

Angel was more than happy to hear that & he decided to walk over to her to give her a hug. "Apology accepted." She returned the favor by fully giving into his embrace, knowing he had forgiven him & so had she. He walked back over to his seat as they continued to watch.

 

[Vaggie throws an unfolded pocket knife at the window roller.]

 

"Damn, that's some good aim!" Millie exclaimed, to which Vaggie blushed a little & said thank you.

 

Angel Dust: Aw, come on! I had to! *brushes back hair* My credibility was on the line! I mean, what kind of reputation would I have if people found out I was tryna go clean? It just throws out my entire persona! *suggestively pushes up chest floof*

 

"Honestly, I completely take back this statement." He states towards everyone. "I've learned recently that I shouldn't give a shit about what people think of me, just think about myself & my friends."

"I completely agree." Ozzie added. "I mean, me, Bee, & Stolas are all royals yet we date imps & Hellhounds because we don't give a shit about what anyone thinks. So trust me, you have the right mindset right now." Angie smiled a little knowing he made the right choice.

 

Vaggie: Your credibility? What about the hotel's?! *gestures at a defeated Charlie* Your little stunt made us look like a fucking joke! *combusts*

Angel Dust: *scoffs* No, no, no, babe. Jokes are funny! I made you look... uh, sad! *camera pans to Charlie* And pathetic! Like an orphan... with no arms... or legs... Oh! With progeria! *camera focuses back on him* Great! Now I'm bummed thinkin' about it! *starts looking around the limousine* This thing have any liquor?

Vaggie: Can you please just try to take this seriously?!

Angel Dust: *flicks off a dust bunny* Fine, I'll try. Just don't get your taco in a twist, baby! *snaps finger at her while smiling*

Vaggie: *two hands as fists* Was that you trying to be sexist or racist?!

Angel Dust: *groans* Whatever pisses you off more. Is there seriously no liquor in here?!

Vaggie: *returns to sit next to Charlie as she crosses her arms* I'm gonna kill 'im.

Angel Dust: Too late, toots. Wait! Would that make me double dead? Hah, and where exactly do I go? To Double Hell? *his two eyes closed while hand on head* Hahahahahahahaha! Sorry, you're stuck with me, bitch - get used to it. *folds arms confidently while closing his two eyes*

Vaggie: *angrily, as she grits her teeth* ¡Con una mierda, malparido hijo de-! (For fuck's sake, you bastard son of-!)

 

"Ooh, you speak Spanish?!" Emily asked Vaggie.

"Oh yeah, I'm a very fluent Spanish speaker. Can you speak Spanish?"

"Oh, I'm not just fluent in Spanish, I'm fluent in all human & angelic languages!"

"Cool!"

 

Angel Dust: Listen, *closing his two eyes* who cares if some jack-offs got hurt? *opens his two eyes* Most of 'em are ugly freaks. Look around! *looks out the limousine window, smirking* You got a bunch a fuckin' Harlequin babies down here! *laughing*

Vaggie: You're one to talk. *smiles smugly*

Angel Dust: Hey! *motions to his body* This body is flawless! Everyone wants summa me, *pushes up chest fluff and takes out a letter* and I've got the creepy fan letters to prove it!

[Takes letter from in between his chest floof and reveals it to Vaggie that features a small picture of a dirty naked old man, who ironically has a "No Angel Dust" tattoo, smothering his mouth on an Angel Dust body pillow and a message at the bottom saying "Show me your feet!! -Bryrin, #1 Fan/Critic".]

 

Everyone was disgusted at the letter (A few of them even barfed at the sight of it), and they made a mental note for later to find this "Bryrin" guy & maybe teach him not to be a disgusting creep.

"Fucking Satan, even my letters aren't that bad! Eugh!" Verosika stated while sticking her tongue out.

"At least you didn't have fucking sex dolls made of you that spawned even more creeps into your fan base!" Fizz commented after barfing into a nearby bucket that he conjured.

 

Vaggie: Grrr...

Charlie: That was really uncool, y'know, Angel.

Vaggie: "Uncool"?! After that train-wreck, there is no way anyone is gonna wanna stay at the hotel! *looks toward Angel Dust* All thanks to *points at him* you and your selfish bullshit!

Angel Dust: Does that mean I don't have a free room anymore?

[Vaggie motions "What do you think?"]

Angel Dust: *snaps finger* Ah...well, shucks.

Charlie: Hey, come on. *takes off ruined jacket* We don't know if things are over yet! Try to relax, Vaggie. *puts a hand on Vaggie's left shoulder* I-it'll be okay!

[Vaggie smiles at Charlie softly.]

 

"Now that's just being a good partner." Millie remarked while smiling proudly at the two of them.

 

[The limousine arrives at the hotel as the hotel door opens, revealing a very old and dirty establishment.]

Vaggie: *throws herself on the couch, facing the wall* Ugh!

Angel Dust *rummages through the fridge leaning by the wall and grabbing a box of Popsies.*

Angel Dust: Eh, it's probably a good idea to get some actual food in this place. Y'know, to feed all the wayward souls you got in here! Ahahaha! Ahaha...! eh... ah... *he closes the fridge door as he tries to comfort Charlie but decides to back off*

 

"Wait, you tried to comfort me?" Charlie asked Angel. "Why did you back off?"

"I figured you needed some alone time after everything that happened that day."

"Yeah, I kinda did, but I wouldn't have minded, especially now!"

"Thanks toots. I'll... keep that in mind."

 

[Charlie exits the hotel and tries to contact her mother.]

 

"Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no, NO!! Why? Why is THIS being shown??"

 

Charlie: *sighs* Hey, mom. I know I keep calling and you must be busy... Really busy... But, um, the interview didn't go well, *shrinks to her knees* and... I don't know if I'm ever going to make a difference *starts tearing up as she wipes it off her face*. I don't know what I'm doing. I could really use some advice, mom. I... I think dad was right about me... Ahah, oof. Eh, anyway... *wipes her face once more* I'll stop talking before this gets long. *stands up* Love you, bye...

 

Everyone suddenly felt uncomfortable at seeing such a personal moment being shown to everyone in the room. Charlie burst into tears as Vaggie tried her best to comfort her. Charlie knew that this might've been shown, & she didn't blame their host for showing it. She blamed her creator for including it. Nobody needed to know about her private voicemail to her mother. It was not necessary. Everyone in the room looked at her with depressed but understanding expressions as her dad walked up to her seat.

"Hey, Char-Char, can you look at me please?" She paused her crying to look down at her dad who was kneeling in front of her. He then proceeded to give her a hug, which she returned, as he said, "I'm so sorry for ever doubting your dreams. I've already told you before, but I lost my will to dream a long time ago, which was why I wasn't as supportive about your idea as I should have. I promise you, I'm never gonna doubt you ever again, okay? I love you Charlie, more than anything in all of Hell."

"Thank you dad. Thank you." Everyone else looked at the tender & sweet moment with a warm smile on their faces. After a few minutes, he got back up to go back to his seat, and everyone felt a little bit better from the scene they witnessed in person.

 

[Charlie walks back in and leans by the door in defeat as a sudden knock can be heard from the other side of the door, surprising Charlie.]

 

"Ah, I think I know what dashing fellow will be making an appearance next!" Alastor exclaimed.

 

Charlie: *contemplates on whether or not to open the door but decides to open it anyway*

[The mysterious figure watching her performance from before can be seen standing before her and Charlie, knowing who he is, reacts with extreme shock.]

Alastor: Hello- *gets door slammed in front of him*

Charlie: *looks to the side for a brief moment before opening the door again*

Alastor: -o!

Charlie: *slams the door in front of his face once more* Hey, Vaggie?

 

"You know, that was quite rude of you to do in front of my face." Alastor said to Charlie.

"Yeah, sorry about that. It was just... You just surprised me is all. No hard feelings though, right?" She replied with a nervous smile.

Luckily, he wasn't offended as he shook his hand in front of her face & said, "Oh, none at all, Miss Charlotte, none at all! It's been a while since then, so I have no reason to hold a grudge for something as silly as that."

She relaxed as he gave him a thumbs-up while saying, "Cool beans."

 

Vaggie: *annoyed* Whaaaat?

Charlie: The Radio Demon is at the door!

Vaggie: *sits up* What?!

Angel Dust: *takes out the popsicle from his mouth* Uh... who?

Charlie: What should I do?!

Vaggie: Uh, well- Don't let him in!

[Charlie decides to disregard Vaggie's advice once more and opens the door for Alastor.]

 

"Really Charlie?" Loona remarks as she rubs her temples. "Even if he wasn't there to help you, you should've listened to your girlfriend's advice!"

"Yeah, I kinda realize that now." She turned towards said girlfriend & told her, "Sorry about not listening to you."

"It's okay hun. You don't need to apologize for that."

 

Alastor: May I speak now?

Charlie: You may…

Alastor: *reaches hand out* Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart! *pulls Charlie towards him* Quite a pleasure! *lets himself in* Excuse my sudden visit, but I saw your fiasco on a picture show, and I just couldn't resist! What a performance! Why, I haven't been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929! Hahahahaha, *plays with his mic staff* sooo many orphans...

 

Emily was a bit uncomfortable with that last comment as she stared back at the Radio Demon who was grinning as always before turning to Pentious & asking, "Is he always like that?"

"More or less, yes. But don't think too much of it, 'cause as you're about to see, he really did help out with the place." This still didn't help her uncomfortable feelings as she was starting to get a bit of a bad vibe from him. Bee was also getting a suspicious vibe from looking at him, both the one in-person & the one on screen.

 

Vaggie: *holds a harpoon towards his chest* Stop right there, cabrón hijo de perra (bastard son of a bitch)! I know your game and I'm not gonna let you hurt anyone here, you pompous cheesy *Angel's head pops in, unamused* talk show shitlord!

Alastor: *uses finger to move the harpoon away* Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here, *turns into his full demon form* I would've done so already...

[The screen distorts; cut to Charlie and Vaggie staring at him perturbed as the distortion ends.]

 

Everyone was suddenly unnerved by what they just saw as they all looked back at the Radio Demon who shot back with an innocent smile as they did not dare to say another word in fear of getting jump scared like that again.

 

Alastor: No! I'm here because I want to help!

Charlie: Say what, now?

Alastor: *repeats himself* Help! Hahaha, hello? Is this thing on? *taps on his mic* Testing, testing!

Alastor's Mic: *opens its eye* Well, I heard you loud and clear!

 

"Wait, your microphone is alive?" Blitzo asked Alastor.

"Oh no, it's not alive whatsoever. I'm not sure why it spoke to me at that moment." He then turned his attention towards The Showstealer. "Is this another one of those 'Pilot Only' things?"

"Yes, yes it is."

 

Charlie: Um, you want to help? With...?

Alastor: *teleports behind the two with his shadow* This ridiculous thing you're trying to do! This hotel! I want to help you run it.

Charlie: Buuut... why?

Alastor: Hahaha, why does anyone do anything? Sheer, absolute boredom! I've lacked inspiration for decades. My work became mundane, lacking focus, *shoves Vaggie offscreen* aimless! I've come to crave a new form of entertainment! Hahaha!

Charlie: Does getting into a fistfight with a reporter count as entertainment...?

Alastor: Hahaha! It's the purest kind, my dear: Reality! True passion! After all, the world is a stage and the stage is a world of entertainment.

 

"Why is that so true?" The Showstealer muttered to himself. "And why does nobody else think that?"

 

Charlie: So, does this mean you think it's possible to rehabilitate a demon?

Alastor: Hahahahaha! *shakes hand in front of her* Of course not! That's wacky nonsense! *shakes head back and forth* Redemption, oh the non-existent humanity! No, no, no, no. I don't think there's anything left that could save such loathsome sinners! *looks over to Vaggie who is offended and Angel who just shrugs* The chance given was the life they lived before, the punishment is this! *puts his arms out, gesturing the entirety of Hell* There is no undoing what is done!

 

"Yeah, well what do you have to say about it now, Radio Demon?" Pentious said smugly towards Alastor, who stared back at him in silence for a while until finally replying by simply saying, "No comment."

 

Charlie: So, then. Why do you wanna help me if you don't believe in my cause?

Alastor: Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! *pulls Charlie close to him and twirls her* I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure!

Charlie: *removes his hand from her back* Riiiight.

Alastor: Yes, indeedy! *grabs her by the waist and drags her offscreen* I see big things coming your way and who better to help you than I? *trails off*

Angel Dust: Uh, so... uh, *points by using a thumb while other hand is resting on a sofa while another set of arms are crossed* what's the deal with Smiles over there?

Vaggie: Wait, you've never heard of him before? You've been here longer than me!

Angel Dust: *shrugs cluelessly*

Vaggie: The Radio Demon. One of the most powerful beings Hell has ever seen?

Angel Dust: *shrugs a second time* Eh, *crosses two arms* not big on politics.

 

"Who else here agrees with that statement?" The Showstealer asked everyone. In response, Blitzo, Verosika, Angel Dust, Husk, & Sallie May all raised their hands. "Oh wow, that's a lot less hands than I expected. Interesting." He then told them to lower their hands as they continued to watch.

 

Vaggie: Ugh! *leans in on Angel Dust as she begins her story* Decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell,

[Scene changes to a visual presentation of Vaggie's story regarding Alastor.]

Vaggie: seemingly overnight. He began to topple Overlords who have been dominant for centuries. That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his carnage all throughout Hell just so everyone could witness his ability. Sinners started calling him "The Radio Demon" (as lazy as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world's most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing's for sure: He's an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we can't risk getting involved with unless we want to end up erased!

 

In the portrait of other overlords in Hell, Stolas noticed one of them was his older brother, Vassago. He had no idea why he was there, and it seemed like Octavia was thinking the same thing. "Isn't that Uncle Vassago?"

"I think it is. I don't know why he's in the lineup of 'Overlords', but I'm assuming that's another of those 'Pilot Only' things as Alastor put it."

 

Angel Dust: *rests his arm on the sofa* Ya done? *Laughs dryly while his two eyes closed then opens his eyes* He looks like a strawberry pimp.

Vaggie: Well, I don't trust him! *two crossed arms while frowning*

Angel Dust: To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?

 

"What exactly does he mean by that?" Sallie May asked Vaggie.

"Well, I happen to be Lesbian, not Bi."

"Nice! I'm Lesbian too, along with being a Trans."

"I noticed that!" Charlie cut in. "I noticed because of your horns. When did you become Trans?"

"In my teenage years. I kinda realized I acted more like a female than a male, so I decided to switch over, & nobody in the fam was really mad about my change, especially my awesome as hell sister!" She gave a proud smile over to Millie, who in return gave her an air fist-bump.

 

Vaggie: *grabs Charlie by the shoulder* Charlie, listen to me. You can't believe this creep! He isn't just a happy face! He's a deal-maker! Pure evil! He can't be redeemed! ...And is most likely looking for a way to destroy everything we're trying to do!

Charlie: I... *sighs* we don't know that! Look, I know he's bad, and I know he probably doesn't wanna change, but the whole point of this is to give people a chance!

[Alastor inspects a portrait of the royal family.]

Charlie: To have faith things will be better! How can I turn someone away? I can't. It goes against everything I'm trying to do. Everything I believe in. *puts hands on Vaggie's shoulders* Just... trust me. I can take care of myself!

Vaggie: Charlie, whatever you do, do not make a deal with him!

[Alastor makes a gesture with his hand, seemingly focusing on Vaggie.]

Charlie: Don't worry, I picked up one thing from my dad! *imitating her dad's voice* "You don't take shit from other demons!" *walks off to where Alastor is*

 

"That's my girl!" Lucifer shouted proudly, which made his daughter blushingly smile in embarrassment.

 

Charlie: Okay, so, Al. You're sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here as a joke.

[As Charlie turns away, glowing red symbols start to appear beside Alastor which quickly disappear after Charlie turns back to Alastor.]

Charlie: But, I don't. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So, I'm taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no... *makes gestures with hands* tricks or voodoo strings attached. [Alastor rolls his eyes at that last statement.]

Alastor: So, it's a deal, then?

[He twirls his mic staff and presents his hand for a handshake as green energy bursts throughout the hotel.]

 

Lucifer was starting to get angry at Alastor, but before he could start beating him up, his daughter cut in to say, "Hold on dad! Just wait & watch before doing anything!" He then turned his head back to the screen to see what she was talking about.

 

Charlie: *refusing his handshake* Nope! No shaking! No deals! I... hmm... As princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order that you help with this hotel. For as long as you desire.

[A howling wolf can be heard in the background as Charlie looks over to Vaggie for approval.]

Charlie: Sound fair?

Alastor: *rubs his chin* Hmm... *retracts his mic staff* Fair enough!

Charlie: *sighs in relief* Cool beans. *does a thumbs-up by using two hands*

 

"See dad, it's okay. You can relax now." Lucifer did just that, after knowing that she used her title to get away from making any overlord deals. He settled back into his chair before looking to Alastor, who was sitting right next to him on his right, and whispered in his ear with a low, demonic voice, "If you ever try to do that again, I will kill you."

"Duly noted" is all the Radio Demo could say. Meanwhile, Loona & the two people sitting next to her were wondering where the hell that howling wolf noise came from?

 

Alastor: Hmm hm hmm hmm... *continues to hum while looking around as he stops in front of Vaggie*. Smile, my dear! *tickles the underside of her chin* You know you're never fully dressed without one! *Walks away as he continues humming* So where is your hotel staff?

Charlie: Uh, well-

[Camera pans to Vaggie who's staring at Alastor dead in the eyes.]

Alastor: *adjusts monocle* Ohohoho, you're going to need more than that. *walks towards Angel Dust* And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?

Angel Dust: I can suck your dick.

[Mic feedback can be heard in the background as Alastor tries to process what he was just offered.]

Alastor: HAH! No.

Angel Dust: *scoffs* Your loss.

 

"Never say that to me again, Angel." Alastor threatened.

"No promises."

 

Alastor: Well, this just won't do! *takes out his mic staff* I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up.

[At the snap of his finger, a new fireplace has replaced the hotel's worn down one as he approaches it and picks up the mysterious figure covered in soot, which then opens its eye and stares at the trio behind him.]

[Niffty poofs off the soot from her body.]

 

For the first time during the entire viewing, Niffty finally said something as she was aggressively pointing at herself on screen. "Ooh, ooh, that's me! It's me guys, it's me! I'm finally here!"

"Finally! I'm really curious as to who the hell you are, to be honest." Octavia said.

"Yeah, 'cause you've been awfully quiet during this whole thing." Blitzo noted towards the little one-eyed gremlin.

"I usually like to stay quiet during a show most of the time."

 

Alastor: This little darling is Niffty.

Niffty: *drops to the floor, unaffected* Hi, I'm Niffty! It's nice to meet you! It's been a while since I've made new friends! *eyes the three* Why're you all women? *lifts Charlie with no effort* Are there any men here?! *puts Charlie down* I'm sorry, that's rude. *looks around* Oooh, man! This place is filthy! It really needs a lady's touch! *grabs a spider and crushes it* Which is weird because you're all ladies, no offense. *stares offscreen as she takes out a feather duster* Oh, my gosh! This is awful! *she speed cleans throughout the hotel* Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! *spots a cockroach and stabs it with a sewing pin* Nope!

 

"Wow, she's really strong." Loona noted when Niffty picked up Charlie.

"She's also really fast." Octavia added when observing how fast she was cleaning the place.

"Indeed, she is abnormally fast." Stolas remarked.

"Well, glad to know there's another clean freak like Moxxie." Blitzo commented.

"Hey! It's not my fault that you are annoyingly unorganized in our workplace!" Needless to say, the Helluva Boss cast (Along with Emily) were impressed with Niffty's first appearance. She was quite the interesting character.

Meanwhile, when Angel heard Niffty's comment on screen about the three people in front of her all being women, he turned to her to say, "You know I'm actually a guy, right?" He then holds up his chest fluff. "These aren't actual tits."

"Oh, I know that now, but back then, my mind instantly thought of you as a woman because of that. But it's okay, I know what you are now." She finished her sentence with an innocent smile.

"Okay, just making sure."

 

[The four stare at Niffty as a voice coming from an unknown cat demon can be heard nearby.]

Husk: *lays his cards down the table* Hah! Read 'em and weep, boys! Full Ho- *demonic illusions and voices distort the surroundings temporarily* -tel? What the fuck is this? *looks around and spots Alastor, eliciting an angry purr as he points at him* You!

Alastor: Ah, Husker, my good friend! Glad you could make it!

 

"Ah, who's this sexy little kitty that just came on by?" Angel said when Husk came on screen, which made him blush in return.

"Angie, could you maybe not in front of everybody here?" He asked with a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

"Like I said to Al, no promises."

 

Husk: Don't you "Husker" me, you son of a bitch! I was about to win the whole damn pot! *the jackpot disappears into nothingness*

Alastor: Good to see you too!

 

"Does he treat you like this all the time?" Moxxie asked Husk.

"More or less, yeah."

"Funny, reminds me of someone I know." Moxxie turns to his right to face his boss with a smug smile, who in return just flipped him off.

 

Husk: *facepalms angrily* What the hell do you want with me this time...?

Alastor: My friend, I am doing some charity work so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay!

Husk: Are you shittin' me?!

Alastor: Hmm... No, I don't think so!

Husk: *shoves Alastor off* You thought it'd be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere?! *camera pans to Alastor dusting himself off* You think I'm some kind of fucking clown?!

Alastor: *grins as if he's about to laugh* Maybe!

Husk: I ain't doing no fucking charity job.

Alastor: *teleports behind him through his shadow* Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment! *gestures towards the bar he made out of his magic* With your charming smile *pulls Husks's lips into a forced smile* and welcoming energy, this job was made for you! Don't worry my friend, *walks over to the bar, revealing the soles of his shoes to have deer prints* I can make this more welcoming! ...If you wish. *makes a bottle of "Cheap Booze" appear out of nowhere*

Husk: *stares at the booze for a second* What? You think you can buy me with a wink *winks sarcastically* and some cheap booze?! *grabs the booze and looks at it* ...Well, you can! *downs the booze*

 

"You know, that ain't a bad offer for an alcoholic." Bee remarked.

"Yeah, I would definitely take up that offer if I was in that situation." Verosika added.

"Same here." Barbie, Loona, & Blitzo said in unison, which made the three of them look at each other in surprise & turn away to prevent seeing each other's massive blush.

"Just how many drug addicts do we have here aside from the sin of gluttony?" Vaggie groaned, which made Barb, Loona, Stolas, Blitzo, Verosika, Angel, & Husk all raise their hands, which made Vaggie even more annoyed. "Never mind."

 

Vaggie: Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! No! No bar, no alcohol! This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of mouth…brothel…man cave!

Angel Dust: *Launches himself at Vaggie from somewhere off screen* SHUT UP! SHUT! UP! We *points to the bar with all his fingers* are keeping this!

Angel Dust: *starts flirting with Husk* Hey~

Husk: Go fuck yourself.

Angel Dust: *holds Husk's face* Only if you watch me!

 

"Oh my god, you're just as obnoxious as my two dads." Loona complained.

"Hey!" Her dads whipped back, clearly offended, while she playfully gave them the bird with a smirk.

 

Charlie: Oh, my gosh! Welcome to the Happy Hotel! You are going to *two eyes as stars* love it here! *tries to go for a handshake*

Husk: *reaches for his booze* I lost the ability to love years ago. *continues to down his booze*

 

"Relatable." Barbie, Blitzo, & Verosika said in unison.

 

Alastor: So, whaddaya think?

Charlie: This is amazing! *rubs her cheeks excitedly*

Vaggie: *with crossed arms* It's... okay.

Alastor: *reels the two towards him* Hahaha! This is going to be very entertaining!

[He then lets go of Vaggie and summons a fireball, launching it to the hotel ceiling just so he could distract Charlie fast enough for him to shove Vaggie offscreen. He dresses himself in a tux and matching top hat.]

Alastor: ♫ You have a dream! *twirls Charlie and dresses her up* You wish to tell! *turns to Vaggie who's now on the floor* And it's just laughable *turns back to Charlie and tosses her mid-air*. But, hey, kid, what the hell? ♫

[The background behind Charlie changes to neon colored lights featuring two apples and a skull.]

 

"Damn, this guy's got some style!" Fizzarolli remarked. "That background's color scheme really reminds me of Ozzie's."

"What are ya talkin' about exactly?" Angie asked, clearly confused by the way he said the sin of lust's name.

"Oh, he's talkin' about the club I own." Ozzie answered. "I have a club named after me that is exclusive to couples only that resides within my ring."

"Damn, 'cause I was gonna say, if you had one in Pride, I would absolutely take me & Husk on a date there. Oh well." Angie was disappointed, since sinners weren't allowed to leave the Pride ring, but since he was living with the King of Hell, maybe he could get a pass from him so he could go there with his new boyfriend.

 

Alastor: ♫ *catches Charlie by the hand as they both tap dance together* 'Cause you're one-of-a-kind! A charming demon belle! *The two slide down the flattened stairs* ♫

Alastor: ♫ Now, let's give these burning fools a place to dwell! *dresses up the rest of the hotel staff* Take it, boys! ♫

[Shadow demons appear from the floorboards and begin playing their instruments as Vaggie tries to talk to Charlie who is having too much fun. Alastor pulls her in with him and the others as his shadow demons surround them.]

Shadow Demons: Boo!

Alastor: ♫ Haha! Inside of every demon is a lost cause! *puts a fedora on Angel's head and pulls a feather out of Husk's. Angel responds with with a snap of his fingers back at Alastor while Husk flips him the middle finger* But we'll dress 'em up for now, with just a smile! ♫ [He puts a hat and fur on Vaggie and slaps her butt. She throws the accessories to the floor, glaring after him.]

Shadow Demons: ♫ With a smile! ♫

 

When she saw how Alastor treated Vaggie in that moment, Charlie was pissed & turned to his direction. "Alastor, I really appreciate all that you've done for the Hotel, but don't ever do that to my girlfriend ever again. Understood?" She said with an intimidation in her voice as she was in partial demon form.

"Yes ma'am." Was all he could muster as he was slightly intimidated by the voice in her threat.

 

Alastor: ♫ And we'll chlorinate this cesspool with some old redemption flair! *kicks off skull which Niffty rushes in and cleans off* And show these simpletons some proper class and style! *summons a shadow clone of himself* ♫

Shadow Demons: ♫ Class and style! ♫

Alastor: ♫ *snaps away his shadow* Oh! Here below the ground, *twirls Charlie and pinches her cheeks* I'm sure your plan is sound! *holds hands with Charlie as they both twirl* They'll spend a little time, down at this Hazbin Ho-

[The hotel door explodes, ending the music and knocking Niffty offscreen. Charlie, Alastor, Angel Dust, and Vaggie look outside.]

 

"Oh boy, here we go again." Pentious groaned.

 

[Sir Pentious' war ship has made an appearance outside the hotel.]

Sir Pentious: Hah! Well, well, well. Look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet yet again, Alastor!

Alastor: Do I know you?

Sir Pentious: *ego deflates* Oh, yes you do! *Hood flares open* And this time, I have the element of- *pulls a lever* SURPRISE! Ahaha! I'm so evil!

[With a snap of a finger, an otherworldly dimensional portal opens with tentacles and shadow demons emerging from it, destroying Sir Pentious' ship while he is inside. Alastor can then be seen finishing it off as he clenches his fist with a few drops of blood dripping off his hand. Alastor is then shown grinning menacingly in satisfaction for a moment as the others look at him in shock and horror.]

 

Everyone else stares in shock & horror as well at the sheer power level this guy seemed to have. They all looked in Alastor's direction, where he has the same expression as the one on screen. They all looked back at the screen in fear.

 

Alastor: *breaking the tension* ...Well I'm starved, who wants some Jambalaya? My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for Jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her! Hahaha! You could say the kick was right out of Hell! Ohoho, I'm on a roll! Yes, sir! This is the start of some real changes down here! The game is set! Now...

[Alastor uses his magic for the last time in the episode to change the sign atop the hotel from "Happy Hotel" to "Hazbin Hotel".]

Alastor: (sinisterly) ...Stay tuned. Hahaha...!

[Sir Pentious is revealed to have survived the beating served by Alastor along with Egg Boi #23]

Egg Boi #23: Now will you shoot me with your ray gun?

[Sir Pentious collapses of exhaustion as the episode ends.]

 

"Well... that ending was unexpected." Moxxie said, finally breaking the tension. "At least now we know you guys a little better."

"Yeah, which probably means we'll get to learn a little bit about you guys, right?" Charlie remarked, as she turned her head towards The Showstealer for that last question.

"Yep, Blitzo & his crew's show is up next. So, as Alastor put it, stay tuned. Hahahaha!"

Chapter Text

Mrs. Mayberry: *narrating* I was a good person, before it all went down... I was good my entire life.

[The scene opens with a shot of a red school house. Birds fly in the background. "Learning is fun" is written on the side of the building. There are trees and a playground. A bell on the roof rings. Mrs. Mayberry opens the classroom curtains, revealing two birds singing on a tree branch. Inside the classroom, Mrs. Mayberry writes "Good morning!" on the blackboard.]

 

"What's going on right now?" Emily asked. "Why are we focusing on a human school teacher?" The Hazbin cast was very confused by how Blitzo & his family's show was starting.

"Oh, I remember this one!" Blitzo exclaimed. "This is when we had to take out a crazy woman named Martha."

"What do you mean 'Take out'?" Vaggie asked Blitzo.

"That question will be answered in just a little bit. Right now, we're getting a client's backstory." Ian cut in by replying. "I will just tell you now though, a very cringey song is about to play, so if you want to put in your earbuds, go right ahead."

"How will we know exactly when the song ends?" Alastor asked him.

"The earbuds are designed to block out singing & music only, not spoken dialogue, so you'll know when it ends." With this information in mind, almost everyone put in their respective pair of earbuds. The only ones that didn't were Emily, Sir Pentious, Stolas, Charlie, Vaggie, Moxxie, & Millie. They were gonna give the song a fair chance, especially considering they didn't think that it was going to be too long.

 

Mrs. Mayberry: Good morniiing!

[She twirls around and catches her piece of chalk.]

Mrs. Mayberry: I hope you all did your homework!

[Several smiling students nod in a dance at their desks. A brown-haired boy wearing a dunce cap spins on a stool and faces the wall.]

[The Teacher's Song begins.]

Class: ♫ We love to do our homework, and we love our teacher, too! ♫

Mrs. Mayberry: ♫ Then, when I throw out these fun questions, you should know just what to do! ♫

Class: ♫ Okay! ♫

Mrs. Mayberry: ♫ Two plus six is... ♫

Class: ♫ Eight! ♫

Mrs. Mayberry: ♫ And good behavior's... ♫

Class: ♫ Great! ♫

Mrs. Mayberry: ♫ And now, it's that part of the class when we say the time of day and date! ♫

 

"Well, I'm failing to see how this is a bad song. It's got a nice melody." Stolas commented.

"Yeah, what's gonna go wrong?" Charlie asked.

"You just had to jinx it, didn't you?" Ian groaned while he facepalmed with his right hand.

 

Blonde boy: ♫ It's nine in the morning... ♫

Girl 1: ♫ On January 8th! ♫

Girl 2: ♫ The sun is out smiling! ♫

Dunce boy: ♫ And it's your husband's birthday! ♫

 

That last line raised the eyebrows of those who weren't blocking out the music. "How the hell does one of the kids know that?" Moxxie asked, clearly sharing the same thought as the rest of them.

 

[The class sings "la la la" while Mrs. Mayberry faces the board. She drags her piece of chalk in a line on the board, the piece almost gone. Her face is beaded with sweat and her eye twitches.]

 

"Oh, I don't like that look. Is her husband's Birthday traumatizing or something?" Millie asked.

 

Mrs. Mayberry: *faces the class* Oh my stars! Stop singing, children! Hush up, now!

[The class falls silent.]

Mrs. Mayberry: I forgot it's my husband's birthday! I didn't get him anything special!

 

The response got a collective "Oooh" from the two groups of demons, including those who had earbuds in now that the song was over, to which they put their earbuds back into their cases. They all agreed, whether they were into romance or not, that forgetting your loved one's Birthday is absolutely terrible for you & that other person, especially when it comes to the relationship.

 

Girl 2: Maybe if we call him, we could do a happy birthday surprise!

[Scene cuts to a bedroom. "Wifey" appears with a ringing telephone icon on a computer screen. A sock lands on a corner of the computer followed by a pair of underwear. Giggles and an "Oh, yeah!" and "Not there, not there-" come from the room. An unused condom hits the screen and accepts the video call as Mrs. Mayberry's face appears from the other, while the sound of a squeaking bed is heard. Back in the classroom, her face turns red in anger and then shock as she stares in bewilderment. The children stand behind her with concerned, fearful looks.]

 

The viewing group were also sharing the same looks as the characters on screen. "I really wish I did not see that." Emily commented.

"Well, would you prefer off-screen moaning or on-screen bonking?" Ian asked her, which almost made her argue back, but then she realized that she probably got the better outcome, so she stayed silent.

 

[Her face blank and in shadow, Mrs. Mayberry stands up and walks away.]

Girl 2: Wait! Mrs. Mayberry! *grabs hold of Mrs. Mayberry's arm* Remember what you taught us? Think before you act.

[Mrs. Mayberry grabs hold of the girl's neck and tosses her through the roof. She walks out the door.]

 

"Ooh, that woman is pissed off now. If that isn't an example of Wrath, I don't know what is." Sallie May remarked.

"Poor kid. I hope they're okay." Charlie added with sympathy.

 

[The children scurry to the window to see Mrs. Mayberry drive through a white picket fence in her green car. The children head back to the computer to watch.]

Jarold: Okay- (offscreen) *notices Mrs. Mayberry after the door is forced opened* Oh, shit! Sweetie, what are you doing here?

Mrs. Mayberry: (offscreen) SHUT UP, JAROLD!

[A revving of a chainsaw and a woman's screams are heard.]

Mrs. Mayberry: (offscreen) You scream like a bitch!

[Dunce boy cowers in his seat as the buzzing of a chainsaw is heard. Gunshot is heard and blood splatters against the computer screen as the children stare in horror.]

 

"Holy shit! I know people get upset about being cheated on, but that's going too far! Especially when there are kids watching this unfold! You're gonna fucking traumatize them" Angel Dust exclaimed.

"Even when Blitzo broke up with me, I didn't feel the urge to do this!" Verosika added.

"...I don't whether to be happy or scared at that comment." Blitzo replied to his ex's comment.

 

Jarold: (offscreen) Oh, god! What have you done?! Sh-She had a family!

Mrs. Mayberry: (offscreen) *sobs* We could've had a family!

[Gunshots are heard and several children look away in disgust. Mrs. Mayberry wipes away the blood from the screen. She looks frazzled at her students.]

Mrs. Mayberry: Oh, dear God. What have I done...?! In front of you all! *sobs* I'm so sorry, my children! Don't forget to work on your times tables!

[Another gunshot is heard and the children faint on the floor one by one.]

 

"Those poor kids. They must've had nightmares for days after seeing that." Emily said. Nearly everyone else could agree with that. Even if only four of the people present had kids of their own, everyone knew that this kinda stuff would be traumatic for them.

 

Mrs. Mayberry: *narrating* You do everything right in life, play by all the rules... and still get sent down here with all the Hitlers and Epsteins of the world!

[The camera lowers to show a pipe and fossils underground, followed by hanging stalactites. The camera stops at the outside of the I.M.P. building. A shot of the door reads "I.M.P Headquarters" with "Meeting in progress :)" on a taped piece of paper. Blitzo is seen on his office chair looking bored as a shadow silhouette of Mrs. Mayberry paces the room.]

Mrs. Mayberry: After one measly massacre propelled by blind rage. So, that's why I'm here.

[Mrs. Mayberry turns around, revealing her demon form. Her face is partially shadowed by blinds. She holds a cigarette in her hand.]

Mrs. Mayberry: To get my revenge.

 

"Really? She gets set down there just because she murdered only ONCE in her whole life?" Emily exclaimed with a hint of surprise & annoyance in her voice. "That's not fair!"

"Yeah, that seems like a bit much to be sent down to Hell for." Charlie added. "I mean, she was feeling instant guilt after doing that." A thought then occurred in her head. "You know, maybe we should invite her to the Hotel." She said towards Vaggie.

"I think that's a great idea, hun." She smiled at her girlfriend for the fact that she was already willing to help this person get to where she really belonged, because even Vaggie felt bad for Mrs. Mayberry. It seemed a bit harsh to send her to Hell for only killing once when she was blinded by rage. Needless to say, they would definitely be paying a visit to her residence later.

"You know, if it would help, I actually do know her address." Blitzo cut in.

"Wait, you do?" Charlie asked in surprise. Even his family couldn't help but look surprised at him. He was going to explain how he knew, but then he looked at Ian, who was watching from his balcony & was shaking his head like he knew what Blitzo was going to say. He then mouthed slowly towards the imp, 'No Spoilers', which got a thumbs-up & smirk from Blitzo.

"I know about where she lives because she left me her address when hiring me, just in case I needed to tell her the status of the hit she gave us in person." He then turned towards their host & asked, "Could I have a pen & paper?", to which they snapped their fingers & suddenly a pen & paper spawned out of nowhere. He wrote down Mrs. Mayberry's address & gave it to Charlie, who gave him a thank you in return.

 

Blitzo: I mean, was she hotter?

[Mrs. Mayberry glares at Blitzo with an incredulous look on her face.]

Blitzo: *smirks* I'm just saying, I had a hard time understanding the unprompted melodrama you just spat at me, tits.

[Mrs. Mayberry seethes in anger, her aura glowing red.]

 

"Does he act like this all the time towards his clients?" Vaggie asked Moxxie.

"More or less, yes."

"Well, I don't really care about a sinner's life unless I know them personally, like I am with you guys." Blitzo remarked. "And you're about to see why."

 

Blitzo: Anywayyyy, I don't think you quite understand how we're operating down here.

[Blitzo stands up and Mrs. Mayberry glares at him.]

Blitzo: See, we take revenge out on the living, and it sounds like the core cast of your sitcom of death…

[Mrs. Mayberry clenches her fist. Her red aura glows again.]

Blitzo: …frankly are all probably down here in Hell with you. Boop!

[Blitzo boops her on the nose.]

 

When Blitzo mentioned on screen how his business involved taking out the living, all of the Hazbin cast stared in shock, then turned towards his direction while shouting in unison, "WHAT?!?!"

"You kill the living?!" Lucifer yelled in both confusion & frustration that his subjects would do such a thing. "How the hell can you even do that?!"

"Well, to make a long story short, I originally borrowed Stolas' Grimoire for the job, as he & I spent a day together as kids, and I remember him mentioning that to me at the time." The imp began explaining. "However, since it's illegal for us to have such an object, he made a deal with me where once a month on the full moon, I would return the book, & in exchange I would give him a night of 'Passionate Fornification' as he put it." Stolas blushed at being reminded of the words he used on that particular day, which was what they were watching right now, & was hoping that embarrassing phone call wouldn't be shown. "But the more time we spent together, the more Stolas wanted to end the transaction so I didn't have to see him as part of my obligations. Instead, I would have the choice to see him. So, he went to Asmodeus to get me one of his crystals," He then showcased said crystal that was stuck to his wrist, "as a more legal method of doing my business, and our relationship has been working out better than ever since!"

"I can actually vouch for what he said." Ozzie cut in. "Stolas did come to me & had a meeting about possibly getting one of my crystals for Blitzo, to which I agreed."

"As for my business," Blitzo continued, "I don't just kill whoever I'm given by anyone. I only kill those that legitimately fucked over one of our clients. It's kind of my way of righting wrongs in a sense."

"A soul for a soul." Ian chimed in to say.

"Yeah, like that."

"You can thank Red Skull for that one." Ian then proceeds to wink at the reader because fuck you I like being cheeky that way!

The Hazbin cast was surprised, to say the least, when they heard all about Blitzo's business & how he does it. A lot of them had been imagining what the human realm looks like now since most of the sinners currently in the room died decades ago. However, what Charlie said next surprised them even more.

"You know, even though I hate violence as I never think it's the answer to any problem, for once I actually kinda like the idea." Angel had to do a spit take along with Blitzo & Pentious because there was no way Charlie said what they thought she just said.

"Hun, did you say what I think you just said?" Vaggie asked her.

"I know, it sounds crazy for me to say, but think about it: If their clients always end up down here, then that means the targets those people wanted dead would come down here too. And, we could get the fucked over ones to come over to our Hotel so they can easily redeem themselves, while the ones that fucked them over we could also bring to the Hotel so they could learn from their mistakes, just like everyone else currently there, and they can become good again. Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I think that it would actually help boost our business!"

Everyone took some time to process her explanation, and they realized that she may actually be right. I.M.P.'s business would actually be beneficial for the Hotel's. Hell, they could get them to actually recommend the Hotel to their clients if they truly felt like they belonged in Heaven. The more they thought about it, the more it made sense.

"Wow, I never thought of it that way." Vaggie said, breaking the silence. "That actually makes a ton of sense."

"Same." Moxxie added. "You know what, maybe we should start advertising the Hotel to our clients." Wait, what?

"Yeah, that... actually wouldn't be a bad idea," Blitzo agreed, "If, you could sponsor us?" Charlie was shocked that he would actually want to support the Hotel's business, but if all he wanted was for them to sponsor his business in return, who couldn't say yes to that. "Deal!" She shook his hand to seal the deal as everyone turned their attention back to the screen.

 

Mrs. Mayberry: *clenches her claws* Not... all of them. That whore survived. Now, they all call her a hero.

[The camera zooms up to a hospital bed with a bandaged blonde woman recovering. The room is filled with colorful bouquets of flowers. The woman's children and husband are by her bedside.]

Woman reporter: How does it feel to have survived such a crazy bitch?

Martha: I just hope that sick woman finally found peace.

Woman reporter: You are so brave. Here's two million dollars!

[A golden check slowly moves toward her.]

Martha: *innocently* Ohhh! Thank you!

[Cameras flash as Martha smiles by her husband.]

 

Some of the viewers had to do a spit take after hearing that part. "Two Million Dollars?!" Verosika shouted. "That bitch does not deserve two million fucking dollars for making Mayberry's husband cheat on her! And what's this bullshit about her being called a hero?! She is not a hero! She's a fucking bitch ass whore!!" Pretty much everyone there agreed with Ver's statement. What did this woman do to deserve this kind of praise?!

 

[Martha stands with her husband Ralphie and their two children in front of a house by a lake, surrounded by a picket fence.]

Mrs. Mayberry *narrating* Between the talk shows and the donation bullshit, she made so much goddamn cash... getting shot was the best thing to happen to her!

[Scene cuts to Martha standing at a podium with "VNN" on it. A news reporter holds out a microphone among several other microphones.]

Reporter: You're a hero!

[Martha is then seen jogging with a dark-skinned woman with blonde hair.]

Jogger: You're a hero, girl!

[In a grocery store, a boy wearing a beaver-skin cap talks with a cashier lady named Brook.]

Martha's son: My mama's a hero!

Cashier: She is a hero!

[Ralphie and Martha have sex in a bedroom and he grunts in pleasure.]

Ralphie: *grunts* You're a hero!

[An old priest is seen with his hands folded in prayer by church doors. Martha stands next to him with her hands folded.]

Priest: You're a herooo!

[Martha is then seen standing at the front of Mrs. Mayberry's old classroom. Another teacher introduces Martha to the class. "How to deal with trauma 101" is written on the board.]

Class: You're a hero!

[Martha smiles as she is given anal sex from another man.]

Man: *groans* You're a hero!

[Back in Hell, Mrs. Mayberry's purple fists create cracks on Blitzo's desk as she smashes down on it.]

Mrs. Mayberry: *shouting, her voice echoing* SHE IS NOT A HERO!!!

[She leans in close to Blitzo's face, her face red with anger.]

Blitzo: *frightened* Mm-hmm. Yeah! Okay, yeah, my thoughts exactly.

[Blitzo rapidly presses a red button from underneath his desk. A red light flashes by a label reading "Deranged client". The other labels read "More coffee," "Soiled my pants," "Horny client," "Client giving birth," "Ghost," and "Stolas".]

 

Some of the audience were taken aback by Mayberry's anger, but they were also analyzing the labels for Blitzo's alarms. The two that had people's head in a tizzy were "Ghost" & "Stolas".

"Honey, why do you have an alarm for me?" The owl asked his fiance.

"Well, remember how back in the early days of our relationship, you were a bit... horny?"

"Oh, was that for...?" The imp nodded before he asked again. "Oh... Yeah, okay, that's kinda fair." Stolas then laughed nervously at being reminded of their early days where he was a big horny slut.

"How horny were ya?" Angel Dust asked him.

"So horny that in some episodes where he's talking to Blitzo, his conversations are bleeped out." Ian answered for the owl.

"Holy shit."

"You know Blitzo that ghosts aren't real, right?" Barbie Wire asked her twin brother.

"I used to think so, but then I realized that they're just infestor demons."

"How do you-?" She was cut off by Ian stuttering & saying "No spoilers."

 

[The camera moves to Moxxie, who is holding a black and red crossbow in his hands. In front of him is a picture of a smiling family: a father, a mother, a baby and two children. His arms are shaking as the pointer hovers around the man's crotch area.]

Millie: Moxxie, stop shakin'! You're gonna shoot our only hellhound!

[Loona lies on a gray couch and holds up the family picture in one hand and her phone in the other. On the wall are drawings of Blitzo in a horse shape and a drawing of Robo Fizz with an arrow sticking out from it.]

Loona: *sarcastically, deadpan* Wow. I feel soooo loved here.

Millie: Just take a deep breath, *inhales* and let it out!

Moxxie: But... it's a family! Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?

Millie: I mean, if that's what the client wants.

 

"I thought Mayberry just wanted Martha dead. Why are you saying the whole family?" Emily asked Millie.

"You know, I actually don't know." She didn't really know why she said the whole family instead of just Martha.

 

Moxxie: Maybe like a shitty dad. Or a mob family. *speaking with a stereotypical Italian accent* That's understandable. [speaks normally] But to eradicate an entire innocent—seemingly, in this instance—upper middle class family bloodline?

 

When Moxxie mentioned a mob family being understandable for killing, Fizz turned his way & asked, "I'm assuming you have experience in that department?"

"Yeah, my dad's a mob boss."

"Same," Angel Dust chimed in, which got a few heads turned his way in surprise. "Back when I was alive, I used to be a part of a mob family with my brother & twin sister. Only my mother & sister ended up in Heaven, which is secretly one of the reasons why I decided to participate at the Hotel." He was feeling slightly depressed at the thought of not knowing how his sister has been doing since they died.

"Aww, that is so sweet!" Charlie exclaimed. "I promise you Angie, we're gonna make sure you get redeemed as soon as possible!"

"Thanks Charlie." He smiled her way while hearing that promise. She always treated him like he was her younger brother, which always made him smile, both on the outside & inside.

"Yeah, that must suck, getting separated from your twin like that." Blitzo remarked. "If something ever happened to Barbie, I don't know what I'd do with my life." Barb was, once again, surprised when hearing this. Has she been wrong about her hatred towards Blitzo this whole time? Hearing that comment made her officially decide in her head, 'Okay, I'm gonna stop my negative thoughts, and give him a clean slate, 'cause I feel he deserves it.'

 

[Loona looks at the picture as she thinks for a moment.]

Loona: Hey! You don't know they're innocent! *points to the boy* This kid probably sets dogs on fire, *points to the girl* maybe this girl gets off to bullying Australian kids online, *points to the father* and this guy… This guy definitely watches.

 

"You know, I take personal offence to that comment as an Australian myself." Cherri commented towards Loona.

"Oh, I didn't know. Sorry about that."

"It's okay mate. Just don't do it again."

 

Millie: Exactly! Humans are full of secret nasties. It's why so many of them end up here.

Moxxie: But—

Millie: Guilty and innocent aren't our business, Mox. *cups Moxxie's cheeks as she shakes them* Killin' who we're paid to is our business. Shoot the target. *kisses him*

[Moxxie aims his crossbow.]

Moxxie: I just think it's a bit excessive, and we could be a bit more selective, is all.

[Blitzo barges into the room followed by Mrs. Mayberry.]

Blitzo: Guys! I want you to meet—

[A startled Moxxie accidentally fires his arrow and it ricochets around the room. Millie jumps into Moxxie's arms as the arrow hits a computer. The arrow then flies and creates a hole in the family picture that a stunned Loona is holding. The arrow hits the bottom of a tank with eels and the tank starts to wobble dangerously. The arrow flies toward Mrs. Mayberry, but Blitzo catches it with one hand.]

Blitzo: ...our newest client!

[The eel tank falls down. Glass and water spill on the floor. The eels fall out and bursts into electricity, setting the room on fire.]

Blitzo: Damn it, Moxxie! I just bought those eels!

 

"Are you ever gonna replace those?" Millie asked her boss.

"Honestly, no. After what happened that day, I think I realized it's not a good idea."

 

[Outside the building, imp firefighters carry the eels away and head into a red fire truck. Mrs. Mayberry drives off in a yellow taxi cab as Blitzo waves goodbye.]

Blitzo: Byyyyye! And, don't worry, we'll get that skank in less than twenty-four hours or your first kill is freee!

[Blitzo waves as the car drives away.]

Moxxie: When did we start implementing that deal?

[Blitzo turns with a glare to Moxxie.]

Blitzo: When you set fire to my office in front of a [yells] CLIENT, YOU FUCKIN' DICKSHIT!!

 

"That's a reasonable reaction." Angel Dust remarked. "Valentino would definitely offer that if I ever tried to pull a stunt like that."

 

[Blitzo grabs Moxxie's face and pushes him away.]

Blitzo: Now, someone PLEASE tell me that fancy book is still intact!

[A nearby billboard with Blitzo's face on it reads with misspellings: "Goat an asshole in the living worlds!? Come to I Am Pee!!??! Make sure you put this sign up on the rite side. Don't fuck this up. Also payment may take a couple of weeks because it cums in the mail. –Speech to text- -Blitzo-"]

 

Everyone was rolling in laughter at the messed up speech-to-text billboard for I.M.P. "Blitzo, you know I love you, but how the fuck did you fuck up that badly?" Fizzarolli asked.

"And this is why I don't get myself involved with modern technology." Alastor muttered to himself. Blitzo was feeling embarrassed at everyone laughing at the obvious failure of a billboard marketing his business. Thank goodness he replaced it with a simple banner later on.

 

[Loona types on her phone.]

Loona: You mean... our only ticket to the other side? *pulls out the grimoire* Yeah. Got it.

 

"So, what exactly is your job at this business?" Lucifer asked the Hellhound.

"Well, I originally was the secretary that would gather up information about the targets from our clients & open the portal to the living world. But after Stolas took over my original job & he got my dad an Asmodean Crystal, I've been joining them on the hits we go on."

"Oooh, Okay. I was a bit confused since it wasn't clear to me. Well, glad to know the book was in safe hands during that time."

 

Blitzo: And that's why you're my favorite, Loonie. *baby talk voice* You get a tweat, now!

[Blitzo holds up a dog biscuit to her.]

Loona: Ew. Stop.

[Blitzo throws the treat into the air and catches it with his tongue, like a frog. He pulls it into his mouth and chews.]

Loona: *slams book close* You're so gross!

 

"Blitzy, don't you think you were being a bit much?" Stolas asked. "I know you love Loona very much, but I would always treat my daughter as if she was eighteen years old, not like a nine-year-old."

Blitzo knew Stolas was right. He did baby his daughter a little too much, but that was just because he wanted to be a better father than his own father was. Unfortunately, he took the wrong route & was never in the right headspace. So he turned to face Loona & said, "Loonie, I'm sorry for the way I've treated you for the past five years. I only did it because I wanted to act like I was a loving father, when really I should've been the father you needed, not the one I wanted to be. I hope you can forgive me for moments like these." He pointed towards the screen at said moment & hung his head in shame.

Loona was surprised that she was getting an apology about that since he hadn't been acting like this for at least a year by this point, but she understood why she was getting one to begin with. She briefly walked over to her dad to give him a hug while saying, "It's okay dad, you don't have to be sorry about that anymore. You're not treating me like that anymore, so you have no reason to apologize for something you've quit. Just know despite my issues, I'll always love you dad." He embraced her hug as they gave each other one last tight squeeze while smiling at each other before she went back to her seat & continued watching the show.

 

Millie draws a pentagram with chalk on the wall. It glows red and creates a portal to the human world.]

Blitzo: Awwww, stop it. I get enough of that from my therapist.

[Loona rolls her eyes and leaves. Blitzo puts his hand on Moxxie's face, who struggles to walk to Millie.]

Blitzo: Now, let's go lick some ass!

Millie: The expression is "kick some ass"... Blitzo.

[Millie snaps her fingers at Blitzo as she walks through the portal.]

Blitzo: Mine's better.

[Blitzo walks through the portal.]

Moxxie: *sighs* Aww, fuuuck…

[Moxxie walks through the portal. All three imps stand in front of a small red house by the lake as the sun sets. Blitzo and Moxxie lean against the side of the house, rising from bushes. Blitzo stands up and peers into the window.]

Blitzo: That's gotta be her. *chuckles darkly* This is too easy. Moxxie, do you want this one?

[Moxxie looks pleasantly surprised.]

Moxxie: Me?

Blitzo: Yeaaaah, this one's simple enough for you to handle.

[Moxxie stands up and peers through the window. His faces falls as he looks at the family having dinner.]

Blitzo: It's just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital.

[Martha and Ralphie affectionately rub each other's noses. Martha holds a dinner platter in her hand. Moxxie hesitates at the window.]

Blitzo: You snooze, you lose, Mox!

[Martha's face is seen in a reflector, her doe eyes wide and blinking innocently.]

Blitzo: Aaaand I've got ya, bitch.

Moxxie: Wait... Are we actually killing a family?!

Blitzo: No, don't be a puss. We're just killing a mother.

[Blitzo positions his rifle.]

Blitzo: We're ruining a family!

 

"...I made a fatal mistake thinking like that." Moxxie said to himself. Some of the other viewers were thinking the same as the Blitzo on screen where they thought Mox was being a little too much of a chicken when it came to killing one person in a family, but some of them had different reactions. Emily was wondering what in God's name could possibly go wrong, while Barbie & Fizz were thrown off by Blitzo saying, 'We're just killing a mother. We're ruining a family!'. They thought that saying hit a little too close to home for them, and even Blitzo was starting to regret saying those words as when he heard the playback, he started shrinking in his chair from shame. Meanwhile, Alastor was humming & thinking to himself an interesting theory, as he saw various objects that looked out of place for a 'Normal Family', but he would give his thoughts out loud a little later.

 

[Rifle clicks.]

Moxxie: But… Ho- Hold on, hold on! Let's just think about it.

[Moxxie lifts up Blitzo's gun as he fires. The bullet hits a glass mirror inside the house. All four family members gasp in fear.]

Martha: What was that, Ralphie?

Ralphie: *shakes his head* I dunno, Martha! But, whatever it is…

[Grins evilly as he stands up holding a rifle in his hands.]

Ralphie: ...they're gonna be tomorrow night's dinner!

 

"Uh Oh." Sallie May muttered.

 

[Martha sets the platter on the table and pulls out another rifle. She drinks a glass of wine and smashes it onto the floor.]

Martha: Alright, kids! Guns out!

[The boy pulls out a small gun from his beaver-skin hat. The girl pulls out another rifle. All of them have evil grins of sharp teeth.]

Ralphie: Looks like we got some rabbits to catch, young'uns! *chuckles darkly*

 

"Uh, okay, something is definitely up with this family. Kids that young would not be allowed to own guns of their own." Husk remarked.

"Yeah, that's a little disturbing." Emily added.

"Oh, just wait." Blitzo said to the two of them.

 

[Cuts back to Blitzo and Moxxie.]

Blitzo: *fumes in anger* What the fuck was that, Moxxie?!

[Moxxie wheezes anxiously, eye twitching. He lets out a croak with his snake-like tongue out. He then falls to his knees, hands over his face.]

Moxxie: I'm sorry. They just seemed so wholesome and happy.

[Tears fall from Moxxie's eyes as he takes more breaths.]

Moxxie: I panicked!

[Blitzo facepalms.]

Blitzo: Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie?! From the moment of birth, you're already a parasite leeching off your momma's tits!

[Blitzo leans in and pokes Moxxie's head.]

Blitzo: Get the FUCK over yourself, you baby dick prune!

A blast shoots through the wall and hits Blitzo in the arm, black blood flying out.]

Blitzo: AAAAH! A new hole! SCATTER!

[Blitzo and Millie flee the scene and Moxxie hides in the bushes. Another hole appears and part of the wall explodes. Ralphie and Martha grin and leap through the large hole with guns drawn. Moxxie peers out from the bushes and rapidly looks around. A child's hand grabs Moxxie by his tail and he yelps.]

[Ralphie fires at Millie who flips backwards and dives into the lake.]

Ralphie: Where'd you go, little critter?! Y'all can't hide long from me!

[Millie is seen with her head above the water under the dock. A knife is in her mouth. Millie breaks through the dock and lands on it, with her knife and a grin. Ralphie swings a glass bottle and Millie runs behind him out of the way. Millie jumps up in the air, knife in both hands. Ralphie swings his bottle upwards, knocking Millie in the head. She cries out and falls to the ground. She struggles to stand, but collapses onto the dock, unconscious. Her eyes twitch. Ralphie smiles evilly down at her as the cloudy sky spirals red.]

 

"Oh, that's creepy." Charlie commented.

"Sis, what happened?!" Sallie May asked.

"I don't know! It was just a really hard & effective hit he gave me. I don't know what happened there!"

"Also, why did the left side of your face turn blue from that hit?" Sir Pentious asked Millie.

"Again, I wish I could answer that." She then turned towards Ian to ask him if he knew, to which he replied by saying even he didn't know.

 

[Moxxie opens his eyes and gasps with a squeak to find himself tied to a stitched up dead body in a chair. Moxxie's face falls in fear as he looks at the girl and boy. Both their eyes are red and devious sharp grins form on their faces.]

[Moxxie tries to defuse the situation.]

Moxxie: Oh! Well, hello there, little ones. Aren't you cute?

[Both kids speak in low creepy tones, the boy finishing seconds after the girl, speaking instantly after Moxxie.]

Kids: It's nice to have a new critter to play with.

[Moxxie glances up in fear at a red light above him. The light reveals a human head high up and several limbs on plaques. The wooden walls are stained with red blood. Two plaques hold stitched up faces of skin. A larger plaque displays a dead man with long white hair, arms crossed, eyes and teeth bulging out. His upper chest is connected to the plaque. A picture frame made of bones reveals another face made of skin inside it. Human skin is tacked to the wall with "Bless this mess" stitched onto it. Moxxie looks and sees a dead human body on a platter in front of him, an apple in the human's mouth. Organs are in a nearby bowl.]

Moxxie: Ohhhhh... crumbs.

 

Everyone (Outside of the three imp assassins) were starting in absolute shock & horror at what they were looking at. They couldn't believe that these three imps had to face a human family of cannibals. In fact, Emily & Bee conjured up barf buckets because they were absolutely disgusted by what they witnessed, while Alastor was grinning devilishly at the fact his theory was correct. "Ah, so I was right! They were a family of cannibals!"

"How did you know, my roach king?" Niffty asked. Everyone else was also staring at him, sharing the same sentiment.

"Well, in the previous scene, I noticed some out of place decorations in the background, like a child's head mounted on the wall, a lamp made out of a person's spine, & the children's ashes of their grandparent in a vase on a wheelchair placed right next to the dinner table, as if she was still alive. I didn't want to say anything until they put stuff like that in the foreground, just in case I was wrong."

Everyone was surprised that Al had been paying attention to stuff like that, but they didn't know if it was entirely true, so they asked Ian to rewind to see if what the Radio Demon was saying was true, and he was. They did indeed find a child's head mounted, a spine-made lamp, & a grandparent's ashes in a vase. They were surprised they didn't notice this stuff before, especially Blitzo & Moxxie. "How did I not notice that shit?" The white-haired imp said.

"You were probably too focused on the family to even notice the small details behind them, which, given the headspace you were in, I don't blame ya." Their host replied. After which, he fast-forwarded back to where they left off & continued the show.

 

[The scene cuts to four gunshots ringing out in the woods. Blitzo dashes through a bush. Martha's evil laughter follows as Blitzo runs through the forest. He slides down a hill and catches his breath at the bottom.]

Martha: *in a sing-song voice* I know you're hurtin', little devil!

[Blitzo takes deep breaths as he leans against a tree. His eyes go wide as he covers his mouth. A silhouette of Martha is shown walking through the woods.]

Martha: *in a sing-song voice* I promise, that I can make that pain go real quick! Just come let Mama Martha put a bullet in your pretty little skull!

[Blitzo sighs in relief before his phone lets out a yelling ringtone. Blitzo pulls out the yellow cell phone and it flips through the air. The phone has "GFY" written on it with a laughing devil emoji on it.]

Blitzo: Dammit!

[Blitzo tries to grab hold of the phone eventually doing so, then he holds it to his ear.]

Blitzo: Stolas! This is a really bad time.

[Stolas is shown in his palace relaxing in a bathtub. There are candles with blue flames around the tub. The floor has glowing astrological symbols on it. The curtains look like the starry night sky. Glowing constellations float around the room. Stolas holds an old rotary phone to his ear, in the shape of sunflowers.]

Stolas: Mmmmm, when isn't it a bad time, Blitzy?

 

As soon as he appeared, Stolas knew exactly what was going to be shown next. "Oh dear, this will be horrible." He was starting to feel embarrassed & he asked Loona & Via if they could put on their earbuds, to which Ian reminded them that they only blocked out music, not dialogue, but he did tell him that pretty much his entire dictionary of horny words were bleeped out, so the owl started to relax a little, helped by the fact that both Via & Blitzo were trying to comfort him.

 

Blitzo: *frustrated* What is it?!

Stolas: I've been meaning to follow up on our last little conversation regarding my grimoire?

[Blitzo's angry face appears in a bubble.]

Blitzo: What did you just call me?!

[Stolas pops the bubble with his finger.]

 

"Wait, how did I appear in that bubble?" Blitzo asked his fiance.

"Oh, I use a bit of magic in my bubble soap during my baths, so I can be able to see other random people I'm associated with, like you. It's not like stalking, where I can see everything happening to you, but it's more so like a visual representation of what's going on when I'm calling you like this."

"Okay, well if that's the case, how come you didn't see me in trouble?"

"Like I said, it doesn't show me everything. But I will say, this was a very bad time for me to call you."

"I'm a bit annoyed at the fact that you were oblivious to the sound of gun shots in the background, even though they're super loud." Via complained.

"Yeah, you called at a really bad time." Loona added.

"I know, & I'm very sorry Blitzy." Stolas apologized to.

"It's okay Stols. It was two years ago, don't worry about it."

 

Stolas: My book, Blitzy. The book I was given to do my job? That I have allowed you to use to do yours?

[Blitzo looks scared as a rifle clicks. A bullet flies through the tree where Blitzo was moments before. A shadow of Martha with red eyes and mouth appears through the hole.]

Martha: I can HEAR you, darlin'!

Blitzo: Shhhit!

Stolas: Anywhooo, I have been thinking. You know, I have been... permitting you to access the mortal realm less than... legally for quite some time now, but I do need it back to fulfill my duties. I was thinking, what if we worked out some kind of exchange? Favors for favors?

[Stolas runs his finger on the edge of the tub. He makes walking motions with his fingers as they begin glow red.]

[Scene cuts back to Blitzo running through the woods. A bullet hits a tree and Blitzo duck behind another one.]

Stolas: Doesn't that sound… *speaks in a seductive voice* enticing?

 

"Oh, this is when you made that arrangement with Blitzo." Asmodeus noted towards Stolas, to which the owl nodded at his comment.

 

Blitzo: You gotta stop using your fancy ass rich people talk, okay? I'm trying to concentrate on not getting fucked in my A!

[A bullet hits the tree that Blitzo is hiding behind.]

Stolas: Then, let me keep it simple: Once a month, on the full moon, you return the book to me, followed by a night of…

[Stolas' eyes glow red and he lowers himself into the water with a lustful look.]

Stolas: …paaassionate fornication~

[Stolas leans slightly over the edge.]

Stolas: Aaand you get to keep it all the rest of the time, hmm? Sound fair, my little Imp?

 

"Ugh, did you have to say it like that dad?" Via asked.

"I'm sorry Via, especially for what I'm about to say next."

 

Blitzo: Fine! Whatever!

Stolas: *through the phone* Ohhh, Blitzo! I'm so excited! I cannot wait to feel your slimy (bleeped) inside of my (bleeped). To (bleeped) the—

[Blitzo cringes and closes his eyes as Stolas rambles on about his lust for Blitzo.]

 

Everyone was once again staring in shock, but not as much considering they couldn't hear a goddamn word coming out of his mouth, regularly & (probably) sexually. "You're very lucky you don't actually get to hear what he says specifically." Ian remarked.

"Damn, you are one thirsty owl! I never go to that level of horniness!" Angel Dust commented towards Stolas.

"Same! I didn't think you had it in you, birdie!" Verosika added.

"Can we please not praise my dad for being a weird, horny freak like this?" Via groaned. They agreed to stay silent & refrain themselves from saying anything else about what was just uttered on screen.

 

[Blitzo drops his phone as he is pinned to the tree by the butt of Martha's gun. Stolas continues talking on the phone through censored bleeps.]

Martha: Gotcha! So, you're a little devil, huh? Come to drag me and my kin to Hell? Well... NOT TODAY, SATAN!

[She presses the gun harder into Blitzo.]

Martha: Gonna send y'all back where ya came from!

[The scene shifts to Moxxie, who struggles to free himself from the rope, his hands tied behind his back. He looks up and gasps as he sees fires being lit from outside. A hangman's noose hangs from the wall.]

Moxxie: Millie!

[Both kids stare at Moxxie with wide evil grins. Moxxie grunts and struggles again. He notices the girl pull out a sharp knife. He looks at the blade and then glares with determination. The girl raises the knife but Moxxie pushes the chair backwards, knocking her to the ground. He frees himself with the knife. A silhouette of Moxxie appears as he breaks through the window, holding his gun. A "Live, Laugh, Love," sign hangs from inside the room. He races outside through the forest, where red symbols hang from tree branches. There are torches in rows and tents. A full moon appears in the sky. The camera pans down to reveal Millie and Blitzo tied to a stake decorated with spikes at the top. Ralphie laughs as he pours gasoline on the ground under their feet. Nearby, a grinning Martha holds a torch in her left hand.]

Blitzo: *sighs* I had that fucking shot. God dammit, Moxxie!

[Martha wears skull earrings, jeans and a low-cut shirt with polka dots. Her eyes are red and her hair is thick and blonde.]

Martha: Satan! We return your FILTHY creatures back to the pits of Hell!

[Martha rises her torch as Blitzo and Millie struggle to free themselves.]

Martha: May the root of evil remain honored as we continue thy WORK!

 

"Wait, do humans seriously think that Satan rules all of Hell?" Lucifer pondered. "Hah, he fucking wishes!"

"I hate that everyone thinks Satan is the only sin that exists." Bee complained. "In fact, most humans think that all seven of us are the same person, when we are clearly not!"

"Really? I didn't know that's how most people viewed you guys." Emily remarked.

"Might I also add that I hate this stupid ritual that humans do." Asmodeus chimed in. "It's so stupid 'cause they can't expect us to answer it like God does with prayers. Like, what's your goal? What's the point?"

"Wait, so this is a normal thing humans do?" Charlie asked her uncle. Vaggie & Emily were also sharing the same look of confusion as her.

"Not necessarily a normal thing per se, but a common reoccurrence."

"Holy shit. The human world has become fucked up since I died." Angel Dust said aloud.

"Oh, it's always been fucked up." Ian replied. "It's just with the internet, there's a lot more stupid, angry, horny people living about now."

 

[Martha grunts as she tosses the torch to the ground, where it lands under Blitzo and Millie. Evil laughter follows. The flames rise up around Blitzo and Millie, but they remain unharmed.]

Blitzo: Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady. Sorry, your fire doesn't really hurt us, but, I mean, I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard.

 

"Wait, regular fire doesn't hurt you guys while it can still hurt us?" Cherri Bomb asked. "That's fucking bullshit mate!"

"Well firstly, imps were born in Hell, so obviously living in a place where there's a fire all the time isn't gonna do shit to us." Barbie explained. "And secondly, we're not immune to all types of fire. Blue fire & green fire from the Greed Ring can still damage us." She started getting a few shivers in her body as she started thinking about the horrible memories of Fizz & her mother burning in that fire all those years ago. She almost wanted to eye Blitzo & give him a cold stare to remind him of what he did, but she ironically reminded herself that she was gonna start giving him a fair chance, so she had to take a few deep breaths to calm down & collect herself. Meanwhile, Cherri was processing the new information she was given & it started to make sense why imps were immune & sinners were not.

 

[Millie and Blitzo smirk. Martha stares confused.]

Martha: Oh. Shit.

[Martha rolls her eyes.]

Martha: Well... I'll just shoot you in your smart-ass mouth!

[She grins and pulls out her rifle.]

Blitzo: That would be more effective.

Millie: *angrily* Blitzo!

 

"Blitzo!" Everyone shouted at the same time as the Millie on screen.

"Woah, Deja Vu." She said after feeling like she just got a migraine.

"Well, I didn't think she was gonna 'Kill Kill' us." The imp boss said in quotation marks.

 

[Martha laughs evilly again as she aims her rifle at the imps. Both imps close their eyes and flinch. Martha then yelps as a gunshot is heard. Martha's eye flies from her socket and she collapses to the ground. Moxxie is shown holding his gun.]

Millie: Moxxie!

[Moxxie runs over and unties the rope, freeing Blitzo and Millie.]

Blitzo: You're not gettin' your goddamn paycheck for this one, Mox!

 

"And I deserved that." Moxxie remarked.

 

[Blitzo falls down. Moxxie and Millie smile at each other and embrace. They both move their heads. Ralphie trips backwards on Martha's body before fleeing the scene.]

Blitzo: *sarcastically* Oh, yeah, thanks! I'm fiiine!

[Moxxie helps Blitzo up and supports him.]

Moxxie: I'm sorry, sir. I compromised our objective and put us in harm's way. It won't happen again. I promise.

[Blitzo pulls Moxxie into a hug.]

Blitzo: Apology accepted. *speaks in a low voice* But, if you ever pull a stunt like this agaaaaain, I will fuck you and your wife.

[Blitzo lets go as Moxxie looks fearfully. Millie raises her arms in a cheer.]

Blitzo: Alrighty! Job well done! Now let's get off.

 

Some of the viewers were a little intimidated by Blitzo's threat to Moxxie, while others were unfazed. "So, just curious, are you Pan?" Angel Dust asked the imp boss, to which he responded with a nod. "That makes sense."

 

[Blitzo pulls a gray and black horse toy from his chest. He puts it back and retrieves his cell phone.]

 

"Oh my God, you're still on the horse thing?" Barbie asked her brother with an annoyed tone in her voice.

"Of course I am! You think I would get rid of it after all this time?"

"Is this horse thing, like, a hobby/obsession?" Charlie asked.

"You don't know the half of it." Fizz & Verosika said in unison with a flat tone.

 

Moxxie: Ehhhh, yeah. Give me a moment. I need to get something I left at the house.

Blitzo: Okay, fine. But, hurry up.

[Blitzo speaks loudly into the phone.]

Blitzo: Loonaaaa! We're ready to come home, dear!

[Moxxie runs through the woods with a determined look on his face. Stolas has continued to rave over the phone about his plans for Blitzo.]

Stolas: *over the phone in the background* ... (bleeped) use while you and I and (bleeped) and jelly sandwiches all night...!

 

"Oh lords, seriously dad?!" Via groaned.

"Again, I'm very sorry Starfire. I promise it won't happen again."

"At least it's censored."

 

[The next scene shows the two kids being lifted into their father's arms in the corner of the house. Moxxie points his rifle at them. The girl and boy look scared and the girl has a teddy bear with her.]

Moxxie: Don't move!

Ralphie: *chuckles* What are you gonna do little guy? Kill us?

Moxxie: I should! You people are monsters! But… you should have a chance at a life and a purpose. Look at your children. They have their whole future ahead of them! You are going to face your crimes justly!

[Moxxie picks up the remote.]

Moxxie: I will call your earthly authorities, and they will make sure you are dealt with fairly. I'm handling this... my way.

 

"I think that was really sweet of you to do Mox." Charlie complimented.

"Thanks, your high-Charlie." He stumbled on his words, remembering that he doesn't need to be formal with the Princess of Hell.

 

[Moxxie presses a button and the television turns on. Moxxie looks surprised and glances behind him.]

Moxxie: Oh, shit.

[Moxxie glances at the TV remote, the buttons looking like eyes and a face.]

Moxxie: Uh... do you, uh... Do you have a phone to summon 911?

Ralphie: *motions his thumb behind him* Yeah, it's in the kitchen.

Moxxie: Then... what is this for?

Ralphie: It's a universal remote. Got it for the kids.

[Ralphie hugs them as Moxxie smiles, eyes shining.]

Moxxie: Awwwww.

[The scene switches to Moxxie arriving at the portal with Blitzo and Moxxie at night.]

Blitzo: There he is. Have a good wank-off session, Moxxie?

Moxxie: Excuse me?

Blitzo: Look, I don't care where you cum in the living world. Just come to your job on time, alright?

[Blitzo pokes Moxxie several times for emphasis.]

Blitzo: See you at the office!

[Blitzo goes through the portal]

[Millie places her hand on Moxxie's cheek.]

Millie: You doing okay, sweetie?

Moxxie: Better now, honey. I think I just needed a minute to process.

[Millie touches Moxxie's chest.]

Millie: You have a goooood heart, honey.

[Millie playfully pinches Moxxie's nose.]

Millie: Just a fuzzy head!

[Millie kisses Moxxie and Moxxie smiles lovingly. Millie walks through the portal.]

 

"Aww, you two are such a cute couple!" Emily exclaimed.

"Agreed." Charlie remarked. Both the M&M's blushed at their compliments about their relationship.

 

[Moxxie turns around and notices two police cars and a helicopter outside the house.]

Loudspeaker voice: We got em', boys!

[A helicopter fires a missile through the roof and the house explodes in an massive inferno. Something hits Moxxie in the head. He looks down to see what is left of the teddy bear head. He looks stunned as Blitzo grabs his neck and pulls him through the portal.]

 

"Oh, so that's what happened. Well, I still count that as you killing them, considering you were the one to call the authorities." Blitzo said to Moxxie.

"That makes sense, & I'll take this one win I'll receive from this." He replied. Meanwhile, everyone else (Except for Millie) was having the same expression as the Moxxie on screen seeing the house blown up so violently.

 

[The final scene cuts to Mayberry and the imps celebrating their victory. A white banner reads "killed the bitch" in red letters. Loona and Mrs. Mayberry are holding pieces of cake on their plates. "We did it! :)" is written on the cake in light blue icing. Blitzo has his arm in a sling. Everyone is wearing party hats. Everyone laughs and cheers except Moxxie, who sits with a distressed look on his face.]

Millie: *excitedly* Ahhh, did you see my little Mox-Mox?!

Mrs. Mayberry: Yaaay!

Blitzo: Ohhhh, yeah!

Millie: *hugs Moxxie* We did it! Oh, Moxxie!

Blitzo: Well, here's to another mission accomplished! And Moxxie finally learned not to fuck up.

[Millie rubs Moxxie's head.]

Millie: And killin' people isn't that big of a deal if they try to kill you back!

 

"I... guess that's not a bad argument, but I still don't like it." Charlie remarked.

 

Mrs. Mayberry: That's messed up. But, I paid for it!

[Everyone except Moxxie laughs. Blitzo raises a fist.]

Blitzo: Yeah, fuck that family!

 

When the episode ended, Vaggie spoke up by saying, "Huh, I'll admit, I don't know what I was expecting from you guys, but you're actually not that bad. If you just stick to only killing people like that, then I'm okay with you guys."

"Well, glad to know that the two groups here are getting along together well." Ian cut in. "Anyways, before we continue our marathon, we are going to take a little intermission in my special lobby. Afterwards, we're going to continue the adventures of I.M.P. before switching back over to Princess Charlie. So, who wants some snacks?"

Chapter Text

With him saying that the first of their intermissions have arrived, everyone started getting up from their seats & were ready to begin their break. "If you can everyone, please, follow me." Their host, The Showstealer said. "I'm very excited for you all to check out my theater's lobby. I like to customize it to my guests liking whenever I bring any, so I think you're all gonna love how it looks." He worked very hard to put it all together, and while he wanted to keep his giddy excitedness to a minimum, he was more than pumped up to make a good first impression. He wanted to show how he could be a good friend & trustworthy. Plus, he was also a massive fanboy & geek when it came to these casts of characters, so he wanted to make sure he didn't come off as weird or creepy to them. Thankfully, nobody from the groups of demons seemed to notice, which was good for him.

"Ladies & gentlemen, welcome, to my masterpiece." He opened the doors & turned on the lights. When they adjusted to the brightness after having been in a dark room for 45 minutes or so, they were met with a beautiful display. What they were standing in was what appeared to be a giant glass dome, where they could view the far reaches of outer space in the background. They were still on the Moon (Of course), but unlike last time where they could see the other planets in their solar system, they instead saw a lineup of other identical looking Earths, all huddled together. But they also noticed all the decorations around the lobby, and he wasn't kidding. Literally, almost every decoration was representing an interest from each demon. Their host clearly showed them, he knew everything about them.

"So, before you get settled in, let me tell you what you can find here." The Showstealer said, breaking the awestruck silence. "As you can clearly see, there are many Earths surrounding the clear view of space & the Moon right now. These Earths, however, are actually alternative versions of your Earth. I thought it would be fun for you guys to see what you guys would look like in other versions of your reality, so not only do I have a few circled around us, but, right next to the bathrooms over there," He then pointed to two doors that were staring at them from the opposite side of the room, "I have what I call my 'Universe Viewer' set up in the door on the right. All the rooms are using a soundproof spell, by the way, so that way you can't hear what's going on in the other rooms. I did that because I also let my guests use my Universe Viewer room as sort of a personal space if they needed to calm down or wanted to talk to someone in private without anybody possibly overhearing. I respect all people's privacy, so I figured it could be used for fun viewings of different you's & a private space for calming down." Everyone was rendered speechless at the news that they were being surrounded by various different versions of their world, and that they could view them if they wanted to no less. But they were also happy that there was a place they could go to if they needed to let off some steam in private. Some of them felt like they were going to need it, like Charlie or Moxxie.

"Outside of that, to your left is a long table, filled to the brim with all sorts of delectables that I have prepared based on your preferences." The Showstealer pointed towards the left, where they did indeed see a long ass table with a ton of their favorite foods laid out for them to eat. There were also a bunch of tables laid out in the lobby for them to sit at. They looked like the tables you would see at a school cafeteria, which was probably done so that everyone could sit next to or from across each other. "And to your right, you'll find a stage that you can perform songs on." He then pointed to the right to show that there was indeed a stage. "I know how much some of you like to sing, so I thought that if you ever felt the sudden urge or need to sing, then go right ahead. I'm not gonna stop you, & I'm gonna make sure no one else will. These intermissions are supposed to be your time to have fun, unwind, & relax, not needing to worry about anything & just hang out with friends & family. These intermissions will last 60 minutes, so you'll have a full hour to yourselves before we resume the viewings. Anyways, that's about all from me. I'm gonna get prepared for the next session, so if you need anything, knock on the doors behind you, and I'll be there in flash. Enjoy!"

And with that, both groups of demons were left to their own devices. After a full minute-and-a-half of silence, Blitzo spoke up by saying, "Well, what are we waiting for guys. You heard the man. Let's have some fun!" Blitzo's friends always knew how to get the mood going, and soon everyone was filling up plates with food of their own, finding tables to sit at, and get to know the other group a bit better.

 

---------------

 

"Hey Blitzo," Charlie addressed the imp, "Do you remember what you asked me earlier?" He was confused at first, until he instantly remembered the favor he asked the princess. He nodded as his response. "Well, I was wondering if you would like to do it in that U.V. room Ian mentioned?"

"Yeah, I'd prefer you'd teach me in a place where we could be by ourselves."

"Okay, you get a head start. I need to tell my girlfriend first." He nodded as he already was heading to the U.V. room, while she went over to Vaggie to tell her where she would be. "Hey honey, I'm gonna be in the U.V. room with Blitzo. He asked me to help him become a better singer for his boyfriend, so we're gonna be by ourselves. You gonna be okay without me?"

"Yeah, I'll manage. Besides, I was thinking about talking to his boyfriend myself. So go ahead hun. Have fun with him." Charlie smiled back as she went ahead to the U.V. room, ready to give him some pointers.

Upon entering, she noticed that this looked more like a regular theater room as opposed to a special magical one like the main theater. The only difference was that there was no large screen at the front, and instead a bunch of tiny monitors in front of each seat. She quickly glanced around to see where her cousin's boyfriend was, and immediately spotted him in the fifth row of seats near the middle, waving to get her attention. As she was walking towards him, she saw he was already using the monitor in front of him. He was probably curious about the different versions of him that existed so he was probably curious to see them.

She admitted that she was curious, so she supposed that they could explore first before getting started on the lessons. She sat down right next to Blitzo on his left as she peeked over his shoulder. "Hey, you find an interesting one?" She asked the imp.

"Yeah, I found a really interesting one. One about Stolas losing his eyes & becoming blind." She freezed upon hearing his reply, and while she was concerned about what his mind was thinking, he noticed her expression & quickly put her concerns to rest. "Hey, hey, I'm not curious about this because of something twisted. I'm curious because I want to know how different our lives would be." She quickly relaxed hearing his reason, and admitted to feeling a bit similar in terms of curiosity.

"Well, you want to play it?" She asked, to which his answer was simply selecting it on the monitor. Instantly, an iPad sized hologram screen appeared right in front of them, startling them, and it quickly started showing this alternate universe. The first thing they saw was that he was living with Stolas in his palace, alongside Loona & Octavia. They were doing an activity where Stolas would try to identify the location of their daughters, through a game of outside hide-and-seek, by using only his ears. Blitzo & Charlie had to admit, this was more wholesome than they expected. They saw how all four of them were having fun doing the exercise, which made their hearts melt.

As they were watching more of it, from moments like Ozzie giving him prosthetic & glass eyes for replacements to Stolas kicking out Cash Buckzo when he decided to visit his son, they were pleasantly surprised by how wholesome it was. "You know, I thought this would be very depressing, but it was actually nice." Blitzo said aloud.

"Yeah, you guys make for a perfect family."

"Oh, I'm not sure you should say that so soon. We've had some pretty nasty moments in our relationship, but then again, not every relationship is perfect."

"True, but that doesn't mean you guys aren't wholesome looking most of the time. I mean, this is pretty good evidence to me that you love him & your daughters very much."

"Yeah, we do, and I've never regretted it." He smiled at the memory of how his fiance looked when he proposed to him. It was the happiest Stolas looked in a long time, and he couldn't wait to marry him in four months. "Speaking of which, did you know we're going to get married in four months?" He held up the proposal ring that he was wearing on his right hand, and Charlie looked like she was about to burst into tears of happiness.

"I never noticed that at all. I'm so happy for you guys! Stolas always told me how he wanted to find a real romantic partner, and I'm so glad that he finally found one who, as far as I've seen, is just as caring as he is."

"Thank you. But just so you know, you're going to see a lot more of my crass side through these 'Episodes'."

"And I would expect nothing less. Now, how about we get started on your lessons while this is playing in the background?" The next thirty minutes or so was dedicated to Blitzo learning how to become better at singing thanks to Charlie & watching the alternate version of himself & his future family. For what it was worth, the two "Lead Stars" were getting along really well!

 

---------------

 

After Charlie told her where she would be for the duration of the intermission, Vaggie decided to sit by that imp's royal boyfriend, Stolas was it? She went up to where he was sitting, and he was pretty damn easy to find considering he might almost be as tall as Angel, and she asked him when approaching, "Hey, royal bird. Mind if I join you?"

"Oh, not at all, Vaggie was it?"

"Yeah, it's Vaggie. And Charlie said your name was Stolas?"

"That would be correct." She sat down next to him as she started to get more comfortable. "Speaking of which, do you know what my cousin is doing with my fiance?"

Fiance. Oh. She didn't know their relationship went that far. She just assumed they were boyfriends, but it looks like she was wrong. However, getting back to the question at hand, she didn't want to ruin the surprise. She could tell from the way her girlfriend described it that the imp, Blitzo, wanted to surprise his fiance. So she decided to keep quiet & say, "I'm not entirely sure, but to me it seems like he wants to know her better, considering they're the main stars of our lives, so I wouldn't be surprised." She then thought back to what Stolas said. "I'll admit, after that first episode of yours, I didn't think you two ended up as future newlyweds."

"Well, it is a recent development. He proposed to me a month ago, and we're planning on getting married in April. What about you & Charlie. How long have you two been together?"

"About three years or so. She's quite literally the nicest person I've ever met in my entire life. When she first met me, I got injured from an exterminator, and she patched me right up. I'm forever grateful for that. And while we didn't become an official item until a week after I first arrived at her hotel, I never really planned on marriage with her."

"Really? Why might that be?"

"A number of reasons, but the main one is that we just want our disagreement with Heaven over first, since we want our friends to be safe first before we think about anything like proposing. But that doesn't mean we don't wanna do it. We're just gonna wait a little longer."

He smiled at how genuine her love for his cousin was, and was very happy to see they were taking their time with their relationship. "Well, I wish you two nothing but the best." She smiled at his comment & the rest of the time was spent talking about their relationships with those they love, and they bonded very closely during that time.

 

---------------

 

"Hey Oz," Fizzarolli addressed, "Would you be okay if I went to talk to Barbie by myself for a little bit? I think after hearing that new stuff about Blitzo's life, she might need some moral support."

"Go ahead, Froggie. I was gonna join Bee & Luci by myself anyway, so have fun." Asmodeus replied. They went their separate ways, where Ozzie would join the other sins that were present, while Fizz would go have a talk with Barb. It took a minute, but he did find her sitting by herself. He slowly approached her & asked, "Hey, mind if I sit with you?"

"Knock yourself out." She replied back blankly. He then proceeded to do so as she asked him a question. "So, is what Blitzo is saying true? Does he actually have a daughter & boyfriend now?"

"Yep. He sure does. And by the way, Stolas is not his boyfriend. He's his fiance." That made her even more shocked than she was already. Fizz could tell from the look on Barbie's face that she didn't know how to process all that. "Are... Are you okay?"

To say that she was okay was an understatement. In fact, it was incredibly wrong. She was pissed. "Why? Why the fuck is he handed everything nice on a silver platter while I've been a drugged up whore, even though he was the one that ruined our lives?!?!"

"Well, it's not like he meant to do it on purpose." Fizz replied sheepishly.

"Oh please! He never gave two shits about his family, yet you're defending him even though he broke you!!"

"He also broke himself, you blind bitch!!" That broke Barb out of whatever mad state she was in to look at Fizz, dead straight in the eye, & ask, "What do you mean?"

"You think he doesn't regret doing that shit?! You didn't think he tried to save us?! He did!! He tried so fucking hard, and even though it wasn't enough, he still regrets his actions to this day! And you wanna know why? Because he hates himself, and he's done so for fifteen fucking years!!"

'He hates himself?' Barbie thought to herself, 'He's hated himself for fifteen years? Does he really regret that day?' Those thoughts were quickly put to rest as she suddenly remembered something she finally noticed when they first arrived here: Blitzo was wearing their mother's necklace. Their Moma always wore that choker every day of her life, and now he was too. 'Because he misses her.' The realization was enough to make her cry, and unfortunately for her, it was. She immediately started balling her tears out while laying on Fizz's shoulders. "Oh Fizz, what the fuck have I done??"

"Nothing. You've done absolutely nothing." He started stroking her forehead to help ease the pain in her head right now. "But can you promise me one thing?" She looked up for a brief moment at his face & nodded. "Do you promise me that you'll talk to your brother about all of this? He's already made amends with me & Verosika, and he really wants to make amends with you. So do you think you can do that?" She once again nodded to his request as she continued to weep on his shoulders. "It's okay Barb. I've talked to him already, and he's more than willing to bring you back in his life, if you bring him back into yours."

 

---------------

 

Over near the front of the stage, Cherri, Angel, & Husk were catching up with Pentious since they wanted to know what he was up to Heaven, alongside wanting to know more about Emily, seeing as how she's the only person that's treated him decently up there (For now). But while they were talking, something else was on Cherri's mind.

"You know, I just realized. Of all the things that Showstealer mate showed in the episode about us, he didn't show off that music video you & I made that day." She thought aloud, talking to Angel Dust.

"Yeah, you're right! I wonder why he left that out?"

"Maybe he wanted you guys to perform that song in front of everyone on the stage?" Emily asked them, gesturing towards said stage. "He did say anybody could go up there & start singing if they want to."

"Fuck yeah!" Cherri exclaimed. "That's actually a cool idea! Hey Angie," She turned towards her best friend. "You think you'd be up for putting on a show?"

"Now how could I refuse an offer like that? Hell yeah, baby!"

"Could I join the posse too?" The two of them, along with Husk, Emily, & Pentious, turned their heads to see Verosika Mayday walking up towards them. "I will say, I'm a big fan of that song you two made, and I have this unrelenting itch to sing right now."

"Wait, you're a fan of our song?" Angel was genuinely surprised that one of the biggest popstars in Hell enjoyed his music, especially since he & Cherri were big fans of her work. "I didn't think one of my favorite singers actually enjoyed our fucking music!"

"Hell yeah, I enjoyed your music video! It was so well done! In fact, it actually made me wanna try making EDM music." Angel was even more surprised. He figured that if she was a fan, she would only enjoy his films. Never did he think she would enjoy something else he made. "So, if you could answer my earlier question, could I join you for the performance?"

"Oh, you're on bitch!" Cherri replied.

"Hell yeah, baby!" Angel added. "It's been my dream to do a Collab with you!"

"Well, I'm glad that I can make it a reality now." Verosika said. "Why don't we head backstage to prepare for our performance?"

"You got it, Ver!" Angel exclaimed, but as he was walking with her & Cherri, a thought came to his mind, and he went over to Emily & asked, "Hey Em. If I remember correctly, I think I saw Charlie enter the 'Universe Viewer' room thing with that imp guy, Blitzo. Could you tell them we're about to put on a show?"

"You got it!" She rushed over to the right side door while he went backstage to finally join Cherri & Verosika. He was excited to work with them, and when he arrived, he saw there were filming cameras along with a wardrobe & dressing rooms. Not only could they wear special outfits, but they could also film their performance & maybe share it when they got back home. It was time to put on the performance of a lifetime.

 

---------------

 

[As Charlie & Blitzo come back to the lobby, smoke machines start pouring out from behind the stage as the music begins. The lights become dim as two spotlights are directed towards who is currently on stage. Angel Dust takes a deep breath before beginning, wearing his old outfit from the music video.]

Angel Dust: 'Til death do us part, but, we're already past that phase / This is a brand new start, and I think I deserve some praise for the way that I am.

[Verosika then reveals herself from behind Angel Dust. She is sporting the same outfit she wore on the day of Blitzo's trial as she begins singing her part.]

Verosika Mayday: Despite having overdosed, & ending up comatose, I don't give a damn / I've let my emotions go. Fuck being a sober hoe!

Angel Dust: This is the mantra, this is my life! You're playing with now 'til the end of the night.

Verosika Mayday: Surrounded by fire, the passion ignites, a hit of that Heaven & Hell. (Angel Dust: A Helluva high!)

[Cherri Bomb then comes out from behind the curtains to start singing alongside Angel for their duet part, also being dressed in her outfit from the music video.]

Angel & Cherri: I'm addicted, to the madness. This Hotel is my Atlantis. / We're forever gonna have a fuckin' reason to sin. Let me leave my soul to burn & I'll be breathin' it in!

[Verosika joins.]

Angel, Cherri, & Verosika: I'm addicted, to the feelin'. Gettin' higher than the ceilin'. / And we're never gonna want this fuckin' feelin' to end! Just concede & give in to your inner demons again!

[The first dance break begins as the three of them show their synchronized dancing skills. Everyone stares in awe at how majestic & hardcore they are together, specifically Blitzo, Charlie, Pentious, & Husk. The music then becomes more light as apposed to fast & adrenaline-pumping as Verosika & Cherri has the spotlight only on them.]

Verosika Mayday: Yeah, you fell in love. But, you fell deeper in this pit.

Cherri Bomb: While death rains from above. So count your blessings 'cause this is it.

Verosika Mayday: You're not lettin' it go. So, what if I misbehave? It's what everybody craves!

Cherri Bomb: You already know! So, come if you're feelin' brave, & fancy yourself a mate.

Verosika & Cherri: You want it, I got it. See what you like? We could have it all by the end of the night! / Your money & power, my sinful delights. A hit of that Heaven & Hell. (Cherri Bomb: A Helluva High!)

[The music pauses for a few seconds before it starts back up with Angel Dust being in between both females.]

Angel & Cherri: I'm addicted, to the madness. This Hotel is my Atlantis.

Verosika Mayday: We're forever gonna have a fuckin' reason to sin.

Cherri Bomb: Let me leave my soul to burn & I'll be breathin' it in!

Angel, Cherri, & Verosika: I'm addicted, to the feelin'. Gettin' higher than the ceilin'. / And we're never gonna want this fuckin' feelin' to end! Just concede & give in to your inner demons again!

[The music begins building up as the spotlights were starting to dim, with only the glowing eyes of the performers being visible in the darkness. Suddenly, a purple spotlight is put onto Angel Dust as he says one more thing with a vicious grin.]

Angel Dust: Just concede & give in to your inner demons again.

[The second dance break begins as the beat dropped and Angel, Cherri, & Verosika were all doing their own moves, showing their stuff. Many of their friends were starting to cheer them on for their amazing talents as they sang one last verse together.]

Angel, Cherri, & Verosika: I'm addicted, to the feelin'. Gettin' higher than the ceilin'. / And we're never gonna want this fuckin' feelin' to end! Just concede & give in to your inner demons again!

[Before the song was over, the music started getting softer & quieter as suddenly, the spotlight was just focused on Angel Dust as he started walking forward to begin his additional sorrows.]

Angel Dust: I'm addicted, to the sorrow when the buzz ends, by tomorrow. / There's another rush of poison flowing into my veins, giving me a dose of pleasure that resides by the pain. / I'm addicted, I'm dependent. Looking awesome, feeling helpless. / And I know I'm raisin' Cain by every highway in Hell. Maybe things won't be so terrible inside this Hotel.

 

---------------

 

As their performance ended, a massive wave of cheers was given to them for their wonderful song. Angel, Cherri, & Verosika were all looking at each other happily before giving a bow as a thank you to the praise. After they got back in their regular clothing, they sat back down with Emily, Pentious, & Husk, chatting away.

A total of 60 minutes passed by, as everyone was enjoying the company of these other demons they had never known before. But once that hour ended, the doors to the theater opened wide up, with their gracious host standing in front of them. "All right everybody, times up!" The Showstealer announced to everyone. "Time to head back in & continue the viewings!" Everyone was sad that the hour had passed by, but they were excited to see what else he had planned to show them. As they got up from the tables they were sitting at, they all went back to the theater room to sit in their respective seats & were ready to begin watching more adventures of their lives.

"All right, so before we begin this next session," The Showstealer began, "I'd like to let you know that we will continue with Blitzo & his crew's adventures before switching over to the Hazbin Hotel. So stick around, as we begin our first episode of this session with, Loo Loo Land." He gave a devilish smirk before pressing play on the big screen, ready to see Charlie & her crew's reaction to Mammon's shithole rip-off of a theme park.

Chapter Text

[The episode opens to a shot of the exterior of Stolas' mansion at night, before cutting to the master bedroom where Stolas and Stella are asleep. A young Octavia's frightened voice can be heard from offscreen.]

Octavia (Young): (offscreen) Mummy! Daddyyyy!

 

As soon as she heard the voice, Via was curious as to who this episode was starting with. "Wait, why does that voice sound-" She then realized who that voice belonged to, and she groaned in embarrassment. "Are we seriously starting this one off with young me?"

"Wait, that's your voice we're hearing?" Charlie asked in surprise.

"I mean, didn't you meet her when she was four?" Her girlfriend retorted.

"Well, she didn't say much back then, so I don't remember what her voice was like when she was yoinger."

"Oh, don't worry Octavia." Stolas said to his daughter. "I don't think we will see anything embarrassing."

"That I can confirm." Ian added confidently.

"Okay, I trust you, since you know what will be shown." Octavia replied back with a hint of skepticism.

"You know, why am I NOW realizing you guys are British?" Angel Dust thought aloud.

"Did you not pick up on that before?" Stolas asked.

"I wasn't... entirely sure before, but the way Via was calling you two, now I know. Sorry, by the way, if that's possibly offensive."

"None taken."

 

[Stolas is roused from his sleep. He turns to Stella who has most of the blanket.]

Stolas: *sleepily* Mmph. Via's calling us, Stella.

Stella: *sleepily, annoyed* You get up.

 

"Glad to see that nothing has changed with you, Stella." Charlie said annoyed.

"Hmm, let me guess, she was Stolas' wife?" Alastor asked with his usual smugness.

"Yes, she USED to be my wife." He replied back. "Now she's my ex-wife, and I feel no shame." He squeezed Blitzo to further emphasize that.

"Good, 'cause she was a massive bitch!" Charlie commented angrily. "She was just as much of a bitch as my ex-boyfriend's sister!"

 

[Stolas sighs and gets out of bed. He enters Octavia's room, where she is hiding beneath her blankets.]

Stolas: Via? What troubles you, my owlet?

Octavia (Young): *sobbing* Daddy! Daddy!

[Young Octavia climbs down from her bed and runs into her father's arms. Stolas hoists her up to comfort her.]

 

All the girls (Except Loona & Via), Angel Dust, Pentious, Lucifer, Moxxie, Fizzarolli, & Asmodeus all shouted an "Aww!" at the sight of Young Octavia, while Via herself was smiling embarrassingly. She still felt embarrassed that everyone was seeing her as a kid, but not too embarrassed by now knowing what night is being shown.

 

Octavia (Young): *sobbing* I had a dream! A really bad dream!

[Stolas yawns and wipes away Octavia's tear, correcting her.]

Stolas: A nightmare.

Octavia (Young): *sobbing* I was looking all over the palace, and... I couldn't find you anywhere! You weren't there!

Stolas: *rubs Octavia on the back comfortingly* There there, Via, it's okay. You're okay.

 

"Yeah, everything will be okay Via!" Emily exclaimed towards the Owlet on screen. "Your dad won't leave you behind!"

Via started feeling uncomfortable after hearing that comment from the Seraphim, but she didn't blame her for her reaction. Via was reminded of what happened during last December when her father & step-asshole were on trial, and she renounced her dad during a time of misunderstandings. Thankfully, they sorted all that out, & she was now living with him, Blitzo, & Loona in a three-bedroom apartment, having a better life than she ever did. Stolas & Loona must've noticed her squirming in her seat, because they started comforting her, & she started feeling a little better.

 

[Stolas summons his grimoire to him telekinetically as he walks Octavia back to bed.]

Stolas: When you're scared, and you don't know where I am, you must remember...

[Stolas's grimoire floats over to him. He telekinetically flips it open.]

Stolas: No matter what happens to me, I will never be far away... from my special little starfire.

[Stolas begins singing a lullaby to little Octavia.]

 

"Oh boy, here it comes!" Ian said excitedly like he was a little kid.

"What are you..." Stolas said before realizing what was coming. "Wait... Is this recording about to play the lullaby?"

"Hell yes it is! One of my favorite songs in the entire show!"

 

♫ It always seems more quiet... in the dark ♫

[Stolas opens a portal above himself and Octavia. She looks up in awe of the beauty of space through the portal.]

Stolas: ♫ It always feels so stark... how silence grows under the moon ♫

[Stolas and young Octavia float up through the portal and into the cosmos, landing on a barren moon.]

Stolas: ♫ Constellations gone so soon ♫

♫ I used to think that I was bold ♫

[Walking across the moon, Stolas leaves footprints in the dust.]

Stolas: ♫ I used to think love would be fun ♫

♫ Now, all my stories have been told. Except for one... ♫

[Stolas looks down at young Octavia, and she looks back with her large, curious eyes. Her gaze shifts to a pink glow to her side.]

Stolas: ♫ As the stars start to align ♫

♫ I hope you take it as a sign that you'll be okay ♫

[A meteor begins its descent towards a giant, pink colored star.]

Stolas: ♫ Everything will be okay ♫

[The meteor makes contact with the pink star, and begins to sink beneath the molten surface.]

Stolas: ♫ And if the Seven Rings collapse ♫

[Multiple planetary bodies begin gravitating toward the pink star, including the moon that Stolas and Octavia currently reside on, which eventually shatters into pieces as the star's gravity pulls on it.]

Stolas: ♫ Although, the day could be my last. You will be okay ♫

[Young Octavia yawns and falls asleep contentedly against her father's chest.]

Stolas: ♫ When I'm gone, you'll be okay... ♫

[Distant planetary bodies fly through the cosmos, pulled in by the pink star's incredible gravitational pull. They disintegrate upon impact and causes the star to explode in a powerful supernova just as the portal closes behind Stolas causing him to sing louder.]

Stolas: ♫ And when Creation goes to die ♫

♫ You can find me in the sky ♫

♫ Upon the last day ♫

[Stolas drapes the sleeping Octavia in a blanket.]

Stolas: ♫ And you will be okay... ♫

 

After the Stolas on screen finished singing, nearly everyone was in happy tears. Even Alastor was in tears because it reminded him of how his mother used to comfort him from nightmares in the middle of the night. Needless to say, everyone thought the song they heard was fucking perfect & they couldn't agree more with its message. Meanwhile, Ian was pounding the table in front of him on his private balcony, head face down as he took sobbed happy tears as he whispered to himself with a croak in his voice & a smile on his face saying, "Gets me every fucking time. Goddamnit."

 

[His lullaby finished, Stolas leaves as his young daughter settles to sleep, content. Cut to several years later, where a teenage Octavia is jolted awake by smashing objects and her parents screaming at each other, far less content.]

Stella: (offscreen) I can't believe you slept with an imp, in OUR FUCKING BED!

 

Everyone snapped out of their previous state when the sudden mood change on screen happened. It hit them like a fucking bus as they weren't prepared for it. Meanwhile, Charlie looked as annoyed as the Octavia on screen saying, "Leave it to Stella to ruin the mood."

 

[Octavia, annoyed at being disturbed, gives a long groan.]

Stolas: (offscreen) It was unexpected! I didn't have time to go to a motel!

Stella: (offscreen) A motel?! Like a fucking PLEBEIAN?!

[Octavia grabs her phone and puts in earbuds, playing "My World Is Burning Down Around Me" to tune out the screaming. Cut to her now dressed as she strides down the halls of the Goetia estate, stepping over the smashed remains of a plant thrown in her path. In the kitchen, Stella continues screaming at Stolas.]

Stella: You want to fuck this one, TOO?!

[Stella grabs an imp servant and violently tosses him in Stolas' direction.]

 

"Sheesh, she's just as domestically abusive as Valentino." Angel Dust remarked. "But then again, after that first episode, I ain't too surprised that this is the reaction she has."

"While I agree with you on that, could you maybe not disrespect our kind like that, you harpy bitch!" Fizz commented angrily.

 

Stolas: No! Of course not!

Stella: You are a goddamn embarrassment! I'm not spending another moment looking at your pathetic, IMP-SUCKING FACE!!

 

"Jeez, her voice is like nails on a fucking chalkboard!" Verosika said annoyingly. "No wonder you hate her so much now."

"Yeah, and couldn't she just learn from the two sins in the room right now that it doesn't matter what type of person you're dating?" Bee remarked.

"She definitely needs to take years of therapy." Lucifer added.

"I don't think therapy will work on her, Luci." Stolas countered.

 

[Stella storms out of the room, shouting angrily the entire time, and smashing more potted plants. Stolas sighs in exhausted exasperation before he notices his daughter has entered the kitchen.]

Stolas: Good mooorning, Octavia! Did you sleep well, my owlet?

Octavia: Was that a serious question?

 

"Who else here had teen angst when they were younger?" Ian asked the group. Barbie Wire, Cherri Bomb, Loona, Blitzo, Charlie, Moxxie, Millie, Fizz, Verosika, Angel, Husk, & Sallie May all raised their hands as their answer, to which their host wasn't surprised this many people went through an emo phase at one point in their lives. But of all the people that raised their hands, most were surprised that Charlie & Moxxie went through an emo phase when they were younger.

"You went through an emo phase?" Vaggie & Millie asked their lovers simultaneously.

"Well, it's not really a part of my life I like to dwell on most of the time, but yes. I did go through one." Charlie answered a bit sheepishly, as she was embarrassed at confessing such a thing that happened to a pure soul like her.

"You're gonna have to show me photos later." Vaggie said with a smug grin.

"Yeah, I did go through one, but I blame my dad for making me feel that way at that age." Moxxie answered his wife in annoyance.

"Yeah, that sounds about right." She replied.

 

[Stolas opens the refrigerator to retrieve a massive chunk of zebra meat.]

Stolas: Mm-hmm... What's that you're listening to?

Octavia: This song is called "My World is Burning Down Around Me". (beat) It's by Fuck You Dad.

[Stolas looks down, thinking the name of the band his daughter mentioned is a hurtful remark.]

Octavia: It's a band.

Stolas: *bemusedly* Ohhhh! How charming...

[Stolas grabs the zebra meat and feeds it to a massive potted plant situated in a small alcove off the kitchen as he pets it. Sated, it falls dormant, closing its three eyes.]

 

"Oh, sentient plants, eh? I don't think I've ever seen such a thing before." Alastor commented.

"Well, they are most commonly from the Envy Ring, but there are plant shops in Pride that sell them. I could give you the address for the ones I buy mine at if you would like." Stolas replied.

"I would like that very much. Sounds like it would be a treat to raise such a thing."

"I want one too!" Niffty added.

"By the way, where'd ya get Zebra meat from?" Sallie May asked.

"Well, what's the place Blitzo goes to most for his business?"

"Ohhh. Cool!"

 

Octavia: So, you two done screaming for the day? *sips her coffee*

Stolas: Umm...

[Stella lets out another scream of anger and another potted plant is heard shattering in the distance.]

 

"Never." Octavia, Stolas, Charlie, & Lucifer said in unison.

"You know, I'm starting to regret the comment I made about your wi- ex-wife back at my club." Asmodeus said towards the Goetia prince.

"Oh, it's fine. I know you've realized the truth since, so I hold no grudge."

"Thanks."

"Also, I know I'm not the parent here, but isn't 17 a bit young to be drinking Coffee?" Charlie remarked.

"Eh, I let Loona drink Coffee before she turned 18, so I don't think it matters." Blitzo answered.

 

Stolas: You know what I haven't done in a long, loooong time? I haven't taken you to your favorite place in all of Hell! Why don't we go to Loo Loo Land?

 

"Ugh, you took her to that shithole?" Lucifer remarked annoyingly.

"Uh, can someone explain Short King's annoyance right now?" Angel Dust asked.

"Loo Loo Land is Mammon, the Sin of Greed's, amusement park." Fizz answered. "I used to work for him, and this theme park is a rip-off of Lucifer's theme park, Lulu World."

"Wait, you own a theme park?!" Emily exclaimed towards the King of Hell. She didn't think the literal devil would have a family theme park of his own.

"Oh, yeah, I made a theme park of my own, and then that shithead Mammon decided to rip me off because he's the Sin of Greed! I fucking hate him & his stupid ass lawsuits!"

"Yeah, of all my Aunts & Uncles, Mammon is the only one I don't like." Charlie added. "Satan is okay, Belle & Levi I like, and Bee & Ozzie are my favorites." The latter two smiled back at her for hearing they were her favorites.

 

Octavia: I'm not five anymore.

Stolas: You always were so happy when I took you to Loo Loo Land! What do you say we go there again, have a day, just the two of us?

Octavia: I'd... rather kill myself.

Stolas: There we go! Anything but staying in this house. Now, I'll arrange our security.

[Stolas picks up a phone carried on a platter by his now bruised and battered servant.]

Octavia: Security for a theme park?

Stolas: We are rich, and we're hot. People want our money and our bodies!

[Octavia grabs a box of cereal on the table and begins shoveling handfuls into her mouth.]

Octavia: *under her breath* Our money, maybe.

 

"Yeah, I realize now that most will come after us for our money. I guess I was too focused on Blitzo to think straight." Stolas commented.

"Figures. I can do that to people." His fiance replied back with a grin. Meanwhile, Barbie, Fizz, Loona, Via, Moxxie, & Verosika glared at him as if they were being hypocritical by saying "No you egotistical ass!" but quickly looked away because they didn't feel it was worth it.

 

Stolas: Speak for yourself, princess. Now... I'm calling the only man who can fuck me!

Octavia: *drops the handful of cereal, disgusted* What...?

 

"What...?" Everyone said in unison with Via on screen.

 

Stolas: *immediately backpedaling* Who can protect me! Us! Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know.

[Octavia groans and pulls her beanie down over her eyes.]

 

"Yeah, real smooth correction. You totally weren't an embarrassment to your teenage daughter." Loona sarcastically remarked towards her bird dad, who groaned in embarrassment.

 

[Cut to I.M.P Headquarters, where Blitzo is busy doing very important work in his office, involving crude representations of Millie and Moxxie made out of office supplies that he puppets around and speaks with. Between them is a framed photo of Blitzo with a robe pulled down off his shoulders seductively and a flower between his teeth. The text reads "#1 Bitch" with "BOSS" written in red over it.]

Blitzo: *impersonating Millie* "Oh, Blitzo! You're such a good boss!" *impersonating Moxxie* "Yeah, I really want you, sir." *impersonating Millie* "Me, too!" *As himself* Let's three-way!

[Blitzo lowers his "employees" below his desk to crotch level, looking momentarily pleasured before being interrupted by the ringing of his Hellphone.]

 

Everyone looked disgusted or disturbed at Blitzo's antics in his personal office, that is except for Verosika because she knew him well enough to know this is something he would do. Moxxie & Millie however, were looking the most disturbed by this. "Sir... Do you wanna talk about something?"

"B, you know I love you, but what the fuck?!" Blitzo had no idea how he was going to respond to everyone seeing something personal, so he just looked back at the screen with an annoyed look on his face while saying "I don't wanna talk about it right now.", and that told everyone to just drop it for now & just focus on the show.

"I really wish I didn't see that." Emily commented. Pretty much everyone nodded in agreement. They did not need to see that shit.

 

Blitzo: *angrily* WHAT?!

Stolas: *lustfully* Why, hello, my big-dicked Blitzy.

[Both Blitzo and Octavia spit out their coffee in sheer surprise. Blitzo slams his "BOSS BITCH" mug onto his desk.]

 

Pretty much everyone else in the theater (Except for Stolas, of course) did a spit take as well because that was not the immediate response they were expecting. Even Bee, Asmodeus, Verosika, & Angel Dust were stunned by the bird's choice of words. And when Blitzo & Octavia cussed on-screen at the same time...

 

Blitzo: What--

Octavia: the--

Blitzo: FUCK--

Octavia: Dad?!

 

...So did everyone in the theater. "What the FUCK DAD/STOLAS?!" And all Stolas (Along with his on-screen counterpart) could say to that was...

 

Stolas: Language, everyone! *into the phone* I have a special request~

 

"Oh shut the fuck up, hypocrite!" Barbie retorted. "You have absolutely NO fucking right to call us out like that when you call your fiance, 'My Big-Dicked Blitzy'." She imitated Stolas' voice while saying that. "So how about YOU shut YOUR big dick for the rest of our sanities, okay?!"

"She's got a point Stols." Emily added. "Is it fair to call us out on our language when you're doing the exact same thing as us?" He suddenly realized that the both of them were right, so all he replied with was, "Touche", and they returned their attention to the screen where Stolas would be offering a 'special request' to Blitzo.

 

Blitzo: Aw... Look, I just had a chemical peel. So, you'll have to find someone else's face to plant that feathered ass.

Stolas: It's for my daughter.

Blitzo: Ah. Well, make sure she washes it.

 

"Blitzo, what the fuck?!" Octavia yelled towards her step-asshole (As she calls him teasingly).

"Hey, your dad never mentioned your age at that point in time during our relationship, so how was I supposed to know?" That explanation got to shut her up, and she replied with a "Fair enough." and they continued watching.

 

Stolas: *taken aback* No! No, no-no-no. I'm taking my daughter to Loo Loo Land, and I was hoping you brave little Imps would accompany us!

Blitzo: We're assassins, not bodyguards, 'kay? Don't invite us to shit unless someone's gonna die.

Stolas: I'll pay you~

Blitzo: Pay me what?

Stolas: Moneyyyy~

Blitzo: Done!

[Blitzo hangs up and accidentally slams his phone down on the desk hard enough to smash it to pieces. After a brief annoyed glance at it, he pulls out a megaphone.]

Blitzo: M n' M, get in here! We're goin' to Loo Loo Land!

[Moxxie opens the door to respond.]

Moxxie: Loo Loo Land?

[Millie excitedly smashes her head straight through the office door's glass.]

Millie: *excitedly* Loo Loo Land?!

Blitzo: Loo Loo Land!

Loona: (offscreen) SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

 

"Hey wait a minute, I just realized: Are we about to see a different ring of Hell?" Angel asked. Suddenly, all the sinners from the Hazbin Hotel were interested in what was about to be shown. Lucifer made it a rule when the seven rings were established that sinners were not allowed to leave the Pride Ring. That's why so many entertainment businesses were the most successful in Pride.

"Yes, we're about to see the Sin of Greed's theme park in the Greed Ring," Ian answered, "though it will not be the main focus. However, as we continue these viewings, we will see what the Greed Ring looks like, alongside the other five rings of Hell, so don't get disappointed yet!" While the Hotel crew were a little bummed out, the promise of the other rings being shown later was wonderful to know.

 

[Cut to Loo Loo Land. A van with an I.M.P decal spray painted on the side pulls into the rather empty parking lot. Moxxie exits the van and opens the side door. A very cramped Stolas extracts himself excitedly. His daughter exits the van far less excitedly. Stolas dons an apple-themed hat and gestures toward the park gate. Octavia groans and pulls her hat low over her face.]

Blitzo: Now, remember: this is work and work only. Me and my crew are not here to satisfy your perverted bird needs, alright?

 

When Blitzo & Stolas were shown walking side-by-side, many were taken aback by the massive height difference between the two. "Woah, talk about a fucking height difference!" Barbie exclaimed. "Blitzo is like the height of a dwarf compared to Stolas!"

"You think that's crazy, you should see the difference between Charlie & her dad!" Angel remarked. "It's pretty much the exact same difference."

"Ooh, could we see?" Emily asked enthusiastically.

"Uhhhh... I'm not sure about..." Lucifer started before being cut off by his daughter. "Oh c'mon dad! It wouldn't hurt." Luci groaned but complied to his daughter's wish as they both got up from their seats to stand in front of the screen & show off that the King of Hell is, in fact, a short king. The Hellborns & Emily's jaws dropped when they saw it.

"Wow, seems I stand corrected." Barbie commented.

"Yeah, & I thought I was short." Blitzo added.

"We always love to see a short king." Ian stated as a friendly gesture.

"I 100% agree with that!" Bee replied, while giving an air-fist bump to Ozzie.

"Wow, I didn't ever think Lucifer would be so... small." Emily said while trying not to be offensive. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to work.

"Alright, alright, that's enough commenting on my height. Can we just get back to watching the show please?" Everyone nodded & soon Charlie & Luci went back to their seats. Meanwhile, Cherri asked Loona & Via, "What about you two? Do you two have a similar height difference?" They both shook their heads, confirming that they were of similar height, and Cherri put her attention back to the screen.

 

Octavia: *disgustedly* Hey... Dad... Do we have to--?

Blitzo: Okay, yeah. Hold on right there, sweetie. [turns to Stolas] If you try fuckin' my little ass in that park, I swear to--

Stolas: You are so cute when you are serious!

Octavia: I'm literally gonna be sick.

Moxxie: Oh, crumbs! I knew today would be a lot! What do you need?

[Moxie fishes around in a fanny pack and throws out several pill bottles as he lists off his inventory.]

Moxxie: Anti-acids? Ibuprofen?

[Moxxie shows Octavia several hypodermic needles of a glowing, acid green substance.]

Moxxie: Morphine?

Octavia: That was figurative, old man.

Moxxie: Oh, right.

[Moxxie chuckles sheepishly as he discards the needles into a nearby baby carriage, where a baby imp happily reaches out to play with its dangerous new "toys."]

Moxxie: *under his breath* But she said it was literal.

 

"Oh no, I hope that kid ended up okay!" Charlie worriedly exclaimed, seeing the baby imp about to reach for the Morphine. Meanwhile, Husk asked towards Moxxie, "Do you know the fucking difference between sarcasm & literal?"

"Yes, I do, but how am I supposed to tell when she's a moody teenager all the time?" He retorted, which earned him the bird from Via, which made him even more annoyed.

 

Millie: *excitedly* Wooooow! I haven't been to this place since I was a tot!

[A large letter falls off the sign of a nearby ride, crushing the teenaged imp underneath.]

Millie: It hasn't changed a bit. Ohhh! LOOK! It's Big Woobly!

[Millie gestures toward a hideously malformed animatronic dinosaur, which opens its mouth and lets out a terrifying, demonic shriek.]

Moxxie: That is... deeply upsetting.

 

While most were unsettled by how disturbing the animatronic looked, Lucifer just groaned in annoyance towards Millie. "Oh, come on!! Even you went there too?!"

"Hey, Luci, no offense, but your theme park's kinda expensive, and me, my sister, & our family lived in Wrath." Sallie May countered. "You know that imps, especially ones that live in Wrath, don't make that much money, right?"

Luci would've retorted this, but then he sighed in defeat knowing she was right. Imps are the lowest of the lowest in Hell. Of course they would've gone with the cheaper alternative, so he guessed he couldn't be mad at their parents for taking the two western sisters & their brothers to the rip-off shitstain by his fellow sin. "No, no, you're right. I guess I'm not mad at you. I'm just still mad at Mammon for making Loo Loo Land in the first place. If only he didn't change the letters."

 

Millie: Oh, come on! It's fun! You've never been here?

Moxxie: No. Theme parks always disturbed me, especially the mascots.

[The park's mascot, Loo Loo appears out of nowhere behind Moxxie.]

Loo Loo: Well, hey there!

Moxxie: *jumps back in terror* AAAAAH!!

Loo Loo: I'm Loo Loo! Welcome to Loo Loo Land! If y'all get hurt here, just try and sue us!

 

Most of the viewers jumped back in terror & screamed with on-screen Moxxie at the sight of Loo Loo, but when the overhead shot of the theme park popped up, suddenly the screen was frozen. They didn't know why until they saw Ian had paused the show, and he explained why. "Okay, I paused here because there is someone very special in particular that makes a cameo in this scene. They don't show their face, but they are very important to all of you."

This made everyone scour the scene for who their host could be talking about. And while they were able to find an imp version of Waldo from Where's Waldo?, they were about to give up after five minutes until Emily pointed towards an imp who was facing away from the camera, looking at one of the carnival booths. "Ooh, ooh, I think I found them!" She then looked up to Ian while saying, "Is it this imp, in the top left?"

"Why, yes it is, Miss Emily! That person right there is the impsona of the person who created all of you as well as your world, Vivienne 'VivziePop' Medrano." This made everyone go silent. That person, who they couldn't even see the face of, was the one that made all of them? Suddenly, not only did a photo of the imp appear on screen, but also a photo of Vivzie, and they were left speechless. If there was a way to describe the perfect look for a woman, she would be the living embodiment of it. She had fair skin, a smile that says "I'm your best friend!", very pretty blond hair with sick looking pink spots & stripes. She looked dazzling.

Everyone in the audience was whoa-ing in unison, being absolutely stunned by the look of this person. But then, Blitzo's brain stopped working as he suddenly realized that he actually does recognize this person. "Wait a minute, I think I actually know this chick already." Everyone started looking at him in complete shock, wondering how the hell Blitzo knew this person already.

"Wait, you've seen her before?!" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, yeah! I do recognize her!" He then turned his head towards Moxxie asking, "Hey Mox, remember our first week of missions in the human world?"

The smaller imp was initially confused by this statement, but then suddenly a lightbulb inside his head, along with Millie's & Loona's, went off realizing they did actually see her before. "Yeah, I remember now! That was the one that we..." Loona started going off before she stopped, realizing they actually killed their creator when they saw her. The other members of I.M.P. were also having this same look of realization, which then transitioned to regret. Everyone else was confused.

"That you what? What happened?" Vaggie asked before she came to a sudden realization. "Don't tell me you actually fucking killed her." Everyone else was having sudden worried thoughts & faces about that before Ian cut in, explaining what happened.

"Oh yeah, they did accidentally kill her by running her over. And I say accidentally because she wasn't one of their targets. BUT, before you start panicking, that wasn't the real VivziePop they killed. That was just a projection of her that she summoned herself." While everyone was glad that it wasn't the real Viv that I.M.P. killed, their faces quickly turned into confusion by that last part. Sensing their confusion, Ian explained the rest. "Let me explain: You see, because she created all of you as well as your world, she has the ability to travel to your world, and gain a special power upon entering it: Reality Manipulation. When the creator of a universe enters that said world, they gain the power to change themselves, as well as their world, any way they want to. Because of this, Vivzie for example, has used realistic projections of herself in case she gets killed, travel between Heaven, Earth, & Hell, and can shapeshift into any creature or character she wants, like an imp version of herself for example. With this being her world, she can do literally anything she wants to herself. Does that make sense?"

It took a little bit of thinking, but as he was explaining, it made so much more sense. If she created them all, why not have the power to do whatever you want? It would be every person's dream! They were all starting to smile at the fact that their creator has been looking out for them secretly, since it was nice to know she would always be there for them. However, there was another question on Alastor's mind. "Does that also count for people from your world, Reality-0, whenever they visit a realm that is fictional over there?"

"Yes, yes it does. How else do you think any of what's happening right now is possible?" Their host replied.

"Interesting. Very interesting." Meanwhile, Angel was looking at Vivienne's imp form more & more closely, and came to a sudden realization. "You know, now that I'm looking more closely at her, I'm starting to realize I might've seen her in her imp form before."

"Wait, really?" Verosika asked.

"Yeah. I could be wrong, but I think I remember seeing her attend one of my performances at Valentino's club one night." He remembers seeing a similar looking imp at the tables before.

"Well, luckily for you, my little spider friend, your theory would be correct!" Ian replied. He then proceeded to show an image of the specific night where Viv attended the club. "Take a look at the right side of the image." The audience proceeded to do so, and they realized Angel was right.

"I fucking knew it! I knew I had seen her before!"

"Wow, I'm surprised she showed up once!" Husk exclaimed. "Ya think she was there to show moral support, not performance support?" Angel simply shrugged, not knowing the answer to his boyfriend's question.

"Well, anyways, let's get back to the episode, as we've been on this tangent long enough." Ian said while removing the images of VivziePop that he had summoned on screen. "But just know that her imp form will be appearing again in the next episode, and she will be in plain sight that time." This got everyone excited as he pressed the play button & finally resumed the show.

 

Stolas: *gasps* Look! Via! It's Loo Loo!

Octavia: I have a question.

Loo Loo: Well, ask away, little girlie! A-hyuk a-hyuk a-hyuk!

Octavia: Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu World?

Loo Loo: *beat* No?

Octavia: This place reeks of insecure corporate shame.

 

"You are officially my new best friend!" Lucifer said proudly towards Via, who blushed in embarrassment while showing a shy smile.

"Yeah bitch! You do not know how LONG I've been waiting to hear someone say that! Come & pound it with me!" Bee added while offering a fist-bump to the Goetia princess, who happily accepted it.

"You know, I think I'm gonna say that next time you & I see Mammon." Fizz said to his boyfriend, who giggled like a little girl under his breath.

 

[Stolas chuckles nervously as he leads Octavia away.]

Stolas: Why don't we go check out the rides?

Loo Loo: That chick's creepy, huh?

 

"What did you just call me, you pervert?" Via threatened when hearing the mascot calling her a chick.

 

Blitzo: Eh, wait till her dad tries to diddle your holes.

Loo Loo: *to Millie and Moxxie* What's that mean?

Moxxie: Don't talk to me! I know you're a pervert under there!

[Moxxie leaves, leading Millie off with him. Loo Loo hangs his body dejectedly.]

Loo Loo: Yeah...

 

Everyone started ew-ing in unison when hearing Loo Loo confirming he was, indeed, a pervert. Not even Angel Dust could make a joke about that because he was anything but a pedophile.

 

[Moxxie and Millie head down a pathway, and Moxxie, sweating profusely, stops to catch his composure.]

Moxxie: You really like this place, huh?

Millie: I love this place! My parents would bring me and my siblings here when they could swing it. Money-wise.

[Moxxie looks over to see a worker wheeling a wheelbarrow piled to the brim with money into a nearby giftshop. The two approach the window, where novelty cups and stuffed apples are for sale. The cups appear to cost at least 29 souls per.]

Moxxie: Yeaaaah. The prices do seem rather criminal. I mean, that much for a novelty cup that you use one time?

Millie: 'Cause, it's Loo Loo Land!

[Blitzo walks up, having loaded up on merch, including a novelty cup, as well as a hat with attached can holders and straws.]

Blitzo: *nudges Moxxie with cup* Listen to your hoe, Mox.

[Blitzo takes a swig from his novelty cup.]

Blitzo: How 'bout I take the first watch while you two have a little *takes off sunglasses and winks* fun?

Millie: OOOOOH! We gotta do my favorite ride!

Moxxie: Oh, yeah? Wh- which one?

[Cut to a shot of a lone imp riding a roller coaster named "The Lawsuit" that suddenly plunges off a sheer 90-degree drop at incredible speed while also on fire and with its rider hanging on for dear life. The coaster violently plunges into a tunnel in the ground.]

Moxxie: *terrified* Oh, crumbs!

[Cut to Moxxie vomiting into a trash can after having left the ride. A vomit-covered family walks by in the background, glaring disapprovingly at Moxxie. A massive dragon-like creature from the nearby petting zoo looms overhead, also glaring at Moxxie.]

 

"No, yeah, that's the appropriate reaction." Sallie May said. "I mean, one of our brothers also had the same aftermath when we first came to the park."

"Oh, I remember that." Millie chimed in. "Let's just say we had to make a lot of apologies to families that day." She then turned to her husband to say, "Mox, I'm sorry for being so... aggressive with my excitedness. Can you forgive me?" Thankfully, Moxxie was the forgiving type of man, as he gave his wife a kiss on the cheek, which was all the confirmation she needed.

 

[In another part of the park, Stolas and Octavia walk along the path, as Blitzo takes up positions all around them with his rifle, on the lookout for any danger. A group of imps creep up behind the booths, ropes, knives, and pitchforks at the ready. They quickly scatter as Blitzo looks in their direction.]

 

Paying attention to the booths in the background, Alastor noticed a particular one that caught his eye. "Hmm, if my eyes do not deceive me, I believe I spot a carnival game that focuses on killing angels." He then pointed towards a booth on screen that said 'Stop That Soul' where you had to shoot cardboard cut-outs of angels. Everyone else noticed it, but he was curious to see the reaction from the seraphim that was currently sitting with them.

"You know, I would normally be upset at the sight of an image that involved killing angels, but after finding out about the exterminations a month ago, I'm not too surprised that something like this would be set up." That was not the reaction Alastor was expecting at all. He didn't know what he was expecting, but he certainly didn't expect her to be so calm about it. He was going to huff in annoyance, but stopped when he realized there was no point to it, so he just returned his attention to the show.

 

Stolas: *strokes Blitzo's horn* You know, it's quite thrilling to see you on the job, Blitzy.

Blitzo: Save it, bitch. I'm working.

Octavia: You both need to get a room.

Blitzo: Hey, I am not a day-hooker!

[A woman walking nearby with her baby glares at Blitzo before continuing on in a huff.]

Blitzo: What? I just said I'm not one, prude! *Flips her off*

Stolas: *gasps* Oh! Look, Via!

[Stolas points excitedly at the circus tent. A demon mother is struggling to pull her crying son into the tent.]

Stolas: You used to cry such tears of joy at this show!

Octavia: *panicked* Oh, no...

[Cut to a flashback to Octavia as a young girl, as she is pushed against the stage by an excited crowd of imp children, as Robo Fizz sparks and cackles maniacally leering over Octavia, who soon breaks into tears. A younger Blitzo is seen in the background tending to a food cart, dressed and painted as a clown, scowling.]

[Cut back to the present.]

Blitzo & Octavia: I hate that fucking clown.

 

By this point, everyone was starting to get the impression that Mammon did not give a shit about whether the kids attending the theme park were gonna be having nightmares or not, but that didn't mean they still weren't terrified. However, Blitzo & Via looked at each other again in bewilderment for the second time during this episode, as they did not expect to see each other say the same thing twice in the same episode. 'Maybe we're not so different from each other after all.' Via thought to herself happily.

"Yikes, I knew kids didn't like the robotic me that they had at the theme park, but holy shit! I would've never signed on to his bullshit if I knew kids were going to be traumatized!" Fizz exclaimed after seeing little Via's reaction to his robotic self.

"Yeah, those don't look like tears of joy to me." Angel Dust added. "Those look like cries for help that are saying 'Get me the fuck out of this nightmare!'"

Stolas looked ashamed that he never properly noticed his daughter's reaction to the animatronic. He turned to face her & said, "Via, I'm so sorry for never noticing your reaction to that Robo Fizz. If I had noticed sooner, I would've taken you out of there immediately. I hope you can forgive me."

She immediately pulled him in for a hug as acceptance for his apology. "It's okay dad. You already know I don't like going there, so it's fine. But I still appreciate your honesty." Stolas fully embraced her as they smiled at each other lovingly.

"I'd also like to cut in & say I'm sorry too Octavia, for how my robotic self scared you." Fizz added, with Ozzie giving him moral support. "I hope it doesn't change your perception of me."

Via laughed at how shy he sounded & replied with, "It's okay Fizz. I always knew it wasn't the real you, and when I did see the real you back then, I never thought you looked scary. I always thought you were funny. So it's alright Fizz. I like you just well enough." The reply was enough to make the jester smile lovingly at the Owlet.

"I'm sorry, but are we not gonna talk about the fact that my dad used to work at Loo Loo Land?" Loona cut in, asking a similar question going on in everybody's minds. They all turned their heads to face him, which made Blitzo feel uncomfortable about all the eyes that were laid on him.

"Okay, yes, I used to work at Loo Loo Land, but only because I was desperate for money at the time & was willing to do anything to get a paycheck, alright? I never liked working there, and I never will!" That got everyone to put their questions on pause & direct their attention back to the screen. They could tell from his tone that he did not want to be pushed further into a topic he was uncomfortable with, so they dropped it.

 

[Pan to Stolas, who has been captured and hoisted aloft by the crew of imps from earlier. Stolas' arms are bound and his head is covered by a cloth sack, and the imps are pointing various weapons at him. One has stolen Stolas' wallet.]

Stolas: *unconcerned* Oh, Blitzy~ I need my bodyguard, please!

[One imp jumps, to try and skewer Stolas with a pitchfork. Blitzo quickly brings his rifle to bear, shooting the imp in the torso, splattering Stolas's head with blood. The other imps quickly scatter.]

[Octavia enters the big top and finds a seat. Blitzo carries Stolas in, head still covered in the blood-soaked sack, sets him down, and walks off to take position. Stolas makes no move to remove the sack, until Octavia annoyedly rips it off her father's head.]

Robo Fizz: *glitching and sparking* Hey-hey-hey-hey-heyyyy, Implings! It's me, the Robotic Fizzarolli! Shipped from Big Ozzie's factory to bring you a wonderful show celebrating Loo Loo Land, spelled with Os, to avoid lawsuits! H-H-H-H-H-Hit it!

 

"Hey, wait a second, could you pause this real quick?" Angel asked Ian, to which he complied & paused the episode. Angel then took a minute or two to look real closely at the robotic Fizzarolli that was on screen. He then came to a sudden realization. "Yeah, yeah! I knew I recognized you before! My boss Valentino has one of your Fizzies. I think if I remember correctly, it was the Valentine's day model that he got, which let me tell you, it does not do your looks justice. You look SO much more handsome than that cheap animatronic!"

"Well, thank you very much for the compliment, and I 100% agree! Those robots are much uglier than me! I'm way more handsome than they'll ever be! Though, quick question: What does your boss do with his Robo Fizz?"

"He basically uses them as his servant, and he named them Kitty. He doesn't have them do anything sexual, surprisingly."

"Also, by the way, a really annoying song is about to come on, so if you want to plug in your earbuds, you have my permission to do so." Ian said while cutting in Angel & Fizz's conversation. Everyone immediately put in their earbuds as they did not want to hear what kind of obnoxious song was about to play.

 

[Stage lights turn on and point at Robo Fizz as he begins to dance and sing a song of the same name as the park.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land! ♫

[The curtains open to reveal Robo Fizz's band, FizzaRolli 'n Friends, composed of various hideously decrepit animatronics, including Big Woobly on guitar.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ Everybody sing along with the Loo Loo band ♫

[Robo Fizz goes around pointing and gesturing at various demons in the audience. Stolas looks excited when Robo Fizz gets to him, but this is short-lived as Blitzo pops up and points his rifle at Robo Fizz, who dashes back to the stage.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ Ev'ry boy, ev'ry girl, ev'ry woman, ev'ry man loves Loo Loo Laaand! ♫

[Platforms in the stage rise up in time with the music.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land! ♫

♫ Everything is beautiful at Loo Loo Land ♫

♫ Ugly children holdin' hands in Loo Loo Laaand! ♫

[Robo Fizz grabs various Imp children out of the audience and wraps them up in a big hug, before jumping up and tossing them away. Most of the children slam into the bleachers, while one soars behind them.]

 

"Oof, I hope those kids are okay. That animatronic should not be treating kids like that!" Emily commented, not at all hearing the music.

"Agreed. I'm glad this place went to shit when it did." Fizz added.

 

Robo Fizz: ♫ Everybody's friendly, ♫

[Robo Fizz hugs Big Woobly so hard that its neck breaks a bit more than it already had been.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ And nobody is mean ♫

[Robo Fizz dashes over to the two-headed, banjo-playing bear animatronic and slaps it in the back. The animatronic then squirts a stream of oil from its bigger head at the face of an Imp in the bleachers attempting to drown out the song with music from his phone.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ No copyright infringement's ever seeen ♫

[Robo Fizz dumps a gasoline canister onto a large stack of cease-and-desist papers, lights a match, and throws the match and the canister at the stack, setting the whole thing ablaze.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ I have a dream... ♫

Backup Singer: ♫ (He has a dream) ♫

Robo Fizz: ♫ I'm here to tell... ♫

Backup Singer: ♫ (He's here to tell) ♫

Robo Fizz: ♫ About a magical, fantastic place called Loo Loo Laaaaand! ♫

 

"Hey, he stole my song! He was just singing my song there, and he stole it!! GRRRRR!!!" Charlie yelled as she pulled out her earbuds, while fuming & blazing like a volcano. She couldn't believe her uncle had the nerve to steal her song without even asking. This pissed her off to no end. "I'm going to have a talk with Uncle Mammon about this shit when we get back, because he does not have MY permission to use MY SONG!!" Vaggie & Blitzo tried their best at calming her down, but it was taking longer than they wanted it to.

"You better give him a piece of your mind when you confront him!" Bee added.

"Oh, I will."

 

[Octavia is sitting and absorbing the musical with disgusted boredom. Outside, Moxxie and Millie walk along a row of game booths, when they are addressed by one of the vendors. Millie gleefully yanks Moxxie over towards the booth.]

Carnie Imp: Hello, hello! Step right up and win a thing!

Millie: *gasps excitedly* Oh, look, Moxxie! A THING!

[The "thing" in question is some sort of purple stuffed penguin creature with Imp horns, wearing pink overalls. The stuffed animal is labeled with a tag that says "THING?"]

Moxxie: Oh, you like that thing?

Millie: YEEEEESSS! I don't really know what that thing is but I want that thing!

Moxxie: *smugly* Ahhh... Finally, some-thing I can handle.

 

"Oh my god Moxxie, that was terrible!" Ian commented smugly towards the smaller imp. "Please tell me you're telling those lame-ass dad jokes to your kids too?"

"Oh, fuck you!"

"Nah, I'm an Aromantic Ace. I'm not interested in fucking." Moxxie was starting to get a little pissed off at his smug-ass attitude, but thankfully his wife was there to make him relax.

 

[Moxxie takes out some money and hands it to the carnie.]

Moxxie: Okay! One game, puh-lease!

[The carnie Imp rolls his eyes and uses his tail to hand Moxxie a pistol with a cork projectile in the muzzle. Moxxie does not even line up the shot, instead looking to his wife as he effortlessly hits the target right in the bullseye. Unbeknownst to Moxxie, the target barely moves. He makes a "ricochet" noise with his mouth and blows the black powder smoke clear of the gun, pleased with his marksmanship.]

Carnie Demon: Ohhhh! Strike one, little man!

Moxxie: But, I hit it!

Carnie Imp: Hmmm, I don't know what to tell ya, buddy. The target, see? It didn't go down. So, yeah...! No go, bro.

[Moxxie growls in anger, and fishes another bill out of his pocket. He grabs the pistol and fires another cork, hitting the target dead-center. The target does not budge. Moxxie slaps the pistol in annoyance.]

Moxxie: The Heaven's wrong with this thing?!

 

"You do realize you're in the Greed Ring, right?" Barbie asked. "Of course the games are gonna be rigged!"

"Oh, that's why." Emily whispered to herself. She didn't understand the rules of the game & why it wasn't working, but now it made more sense. Of course the games would be rigged. If you're living in the Greed Ring, you might do whatever it takes to get money.

"Well, for your information, Miss Wire, even though I grew up in Greed, my father nor mother never took me to a Carnival, so I never had the previous experience." Moxxie retorted to Barbie as fancy-pantsy as he possibly could've. She was about to make a counter, but the words died in her mouth as soon as she thought of them, so she just slumped in her chair with a huff & redirected her attention to the show.

 

Carnie Imp: Oh, man. A real shame, I tell ya. [mockingly cries]

[Moxxie hisses in anger as he slaps another bill on the counter.]

Moxxie: Another!

[Cut back to the Robo Fizz show. Stolas is gleefully clapping to the music, while Octavia has thrown her head back in torment, banging her fist on the seat next to her.]

Robo Fizz & Backup Singer: ♫ --body sing along with the Loo Loo band! Ev'ry boy, ev'ry girl, ev'ry woman, ev'ry man loves Loo Loo Laaaaaaand! ♫

[The show ends with a small pyrotechnic display as Robo Fizz cackles maniacally. The bear animatronic faceplants onto the stage and falls to pieces. Stolas claps and cheers even harder.]

Stolas: Ah hohohoho ho ho ho ho ho, how delightful!

 

"How can you enjoy that crap?" Blitzo asks his fiance. It seems everyone else was thinking the same thing.

"Well, I'm very easy to please in every way imaginable, so don't blame me for being a man child at heart."

"... Fair enough."

 

[Behind Stolas, an imp armed with a kris dagger rises from beneath the seats ready to stab Stolas, but the top of his head is quickly blown apart by a shot from Blitzo, who has taken up a position in the gallery behind the back row of seats while Imps scream in absolute fear and run away.]

Stolas: *flirtatiously* Oh, my! What aim you have, Blitzy.

Octavia: *furious* Ugh! I can't do this anymore!

Stolas: *concerned* Wait- Uh-... Octavia!

[Octavia storms off, with Stolas following behind as Blitzo cycles his rifle, and prepares to give chase after his charges.]

 

"So, quick question: Did you put this trip together just to have an excuse to see Blitzo again?" Vaggie asked.

Stolas was initially hesitant to answer the question, but decided there was no reason to hide the obvious. "... Yes, it was just an excuse to see him outside of our arrangement, and I heavily regret bringing Octavia with me. I did not need to embarrass her the way I did, and I feel so ashamed." He started hanging his head in shame, which made Vaggie feel a little guilty for asking in the first place.

Thankfully, Octavia once again came to the rescue, as she hugged her dad while saying, "Dad, you've already made up for it, and I like Blitzo. I don't mind you spending time with him. Just make sure to spend an equal amount of time with me, okay?" He sat up to embrace her hug with a sad smile, knowing she was right & that he needed to make it up to her. At least she likes Blitzo enough to where she doesn't feel embarrassed by him.

 

Robo Fizz: Mua ha ha ha ha hoho-oh! Is that Blitzo [pronounced as spelled] my sensors spot up the-e-e-ere? I bet the kiddies are still running away from you, huh? [laughs]

Blitzo: The 'o' is silent now!

Robo Fizz: A-A-Awwwww, just like your audience always was when you to-told your lazy jokes here! [laughs]

[Blitzo removes his visors and throws them on the ground as he continues his argument with Robo Fizz.]

Blitzo: Bitch, I make more money killing people than you do being a cheap-ass robo ripoff of an overrated sellout JESTER!

 

"Uh, you two wanna explain the beef that's goin' on here mate?" Cherri asked.

"Well, to make a long story short, we had a fight over a life-changing accident from a long time ago, we hated each other's guts, but we eventually made up & became friends again. This happened before we reconciled." Fizz explained. "Though I will admit, I don't remember the robots being this harsh."

"Well, I'm not able to add to that, because Val's Robo Fizz is completely silent." Angel said.

"Well, remember Fizz, I used to work there for a couple years, so maybe it's just that it remembers me in his robotic brain or something." Blitzo retorted.

"That makes sense."

 

Robo Fizz: *glitching* Oohoohoo! Someone's salty! Real or not, though, people lo-o-ove me! Does anybody love you... *low demonic voice* BLITZ-0?

Blitzo: No. But, I'm really good with guns now. Dance, bitch!

[Blitzo slams a new magazine into his rifle, switches it to full-auto and opens up on Robo Fizz, who cartwheels out of the way of the incoming rounds. Robo Fizz rapidly spins like a wheel rolling up the stair to where Blitzo is. He coils himself around Blitzo like a snake, before using his own momentum to launch Blitzo through the top of the tent.]

Blitzo: Ohhhh, FUCK MEEEEEEE...!

 

Some of Blitzo's friends & family, including some of the Hazbin cast, were a bit worried when he said that nobody loved him, but they didn't know if he said that because of the heat-in-the-moment, or because he actually felt that way. Either way, Stolas & Loona were going to confront him about it at some point.

 

[Outside, Wally Wackford rolls a cart of lit torches in by the tent.]

Wally: Torches, I say, I say! Get your inconvenient torches here!

[Blitzo lands on the cart, scattering the torches everywhere, which light the big top on fire.]

Wally: Owww! I say, OWWWW!

 

"Oooohhh, so that's how the fire started." Fizz said. "Can't say I'm surprised that that was the way it happened."

"Wait, you're the one that burned down that shithole?" Lucifer asked Blitzo in realization. "Scratch that: You & Octavia are now my new best friends for showing that greedy son of a bitch who's boss!"

"Thanks, Luci." Blitzo replied shyly.

 

[The green fire very rapidly spreads to all corners of the park. Burning and melting animatronics flee the tent as Robo Fizz cackles and spins his head with demonic glee at the destruction. Elsewhere, the carnie Imp at the shooting gallery holds 600 souls of Moxxie's money, with Moxxie himself glaring at him with seething anger.]

Carnie Imp: Wow! Man, you're really starting to make this sad. Y'know, if you suck, you suck! Guess you won't win your honey here a prize...

 

"Jeez Louise, you're so stupid." Barbie muttered.

"HEY!! Watch what you say about my husband!" Millie yelled in response. "Trust me when I say you don't want to mess with me or my family." Barbie was going to scoff at her response, until she saw Sallie May signaling her to not do such a thing, so she grunted in annoyance & slumped back into her seat.

 

Millie: Let me try!

[Millie grabs the pistol and fires a cork at a target, which misses wildly. The carnie Imp grins mischievously, and presses a foot pedal in the booth, which causes a target to fall down.]

Carnie Imp: Ohhhh, look at that! Lucky shot, baby.

Moxxie: Are you kidding me?! You- you- you charlatan!

Carnie Imp: Hey, uh, get lost, pipsqueak. I'm talkin' to the lady~

 

"How did you not notice he was trying to seduce your wife?" Verosika asked Moxxie, but it was Millie who answered for him.

"Hey, we were both oblivious in the moment because I wanted that 'Thing?', so don't blame us for not being aware when we were focused on something else fun." Very couldn't argue with that. There had been times back when she dated Blitzo where the exact same thing happened, so she knew the feeling.

 

[The carnie Imp leans toward Millie and makes a seductive purring sound at her. Millie immediately recoils in disgust. In the background, Blitzo and Robo Fizz continue to do battle against each other as the fires spread. Blitzo is thrown up into the air by Robo Fizz and comes down through the roof of the shooting gallery, crushing the carnie Imp under him.]

Carnie Imp: OWWWW! Oof! Auuugh!

Moxxie: *surprised* Sir?!

Blitzo: *dazed* Ohhhh... Hey, guys! You should probably go, uh, make sure Stolas is okay. I've... got some unfinished business to take care of.

[Blitzo draws his flintlock pistol, cocks it, and fires at the now burning Robo Fizz. The impact of the bullet spins Robo Fizz's head around, but when he spins his head back, he is revealed to be unharmed by the shot, having caught the bullet in his teeth. He then spits the bullet out.]

Blitzo: Oh, what a mouth!

 

When they saw Blitzo, both on-screen & in the audience, grimace at what he said, there was howling laughter coming from all sides of the row of seats. Blitzo started feeling embarrassed that he had to run his big fat mouth like that in the past & now had everyone hear what he said, so he shrank in his seat to try & make himself not visible.

 

[Blitzo immediately grimaces when he realizes what he just said. Robo Fizz coils himself up into his rolling form again, charging straight at Blitzo. He leaps out of the way as his enemy hit the booth, destroying it in a large explosion. Several pieces of shrapnel and burning prizes shoot in all direction, as the camera follows the severed heads of three of the "things" Moxxie attempted to win. The piece of stuffed animal strikes a young Imp boy in the head, knocking him unconscious the second a photographer takes a picture of the Imp family.]

Father: Goddammit, Nathan! You ruined another bloody photo! Why were you even born?!

 

"Dad's, am I right?" Angel commented, referring to Stolas, Blitzo, & Moxxie, who all nodded in agreement that there were just some really bitchy fathers in Hell.

 

[Elsewhere, Stolas is still running after his daughter.]

Stolas: Octavia?

Octavia: (off-screen) Just leave me alone!

Stolas: Octavia!

[Octavia runs into a building called the "Fun House." Inside, Stolas is confronted with a a surreal room of eyes, tubes, spikes, mirrors, and disembodied hands. He goes further into the room, looking around for where his daughter could have gone. A shadow appears behind Stolas, as a random Imp jumps upon his back.]

Stolas: *annoyed* Umm, I think I'm supposed to be bodyguarded right now!

 

"See, see?! Even his fun house is a direct rip-off of mine! That man has no fucking shame & I hate him for it!!" Lucifer yelled in annoyance.

 

[The Imp covers Stolas' mouth with his shirt sleeve, but is suddenly shot in the head and falls to the ground. Moxxie and Millie appear in the entryway, Millie having just shot the Imp with a pistol.]

Stolas: *wipes imp blood off of sleeve, annoyed* Ugh, that's better. Where is Blitzy? He's my knight in shining armor, not you littler ones.

Millie: He's, uhhhh... busy.

Moxxie: Being a fool.

Stolas: What kind of fool?

Moxxie: The "everything is now on fire" kind.

[Disinterested, Stolas leaves the imps, effortlessly dodging between two swinging pendulums, and heads down a tunnel into an adjoining room. There, he sees Octavia riding in circles in apple-themed rail cars, crying.]

Stolas: Octavia...

[Stolas discards the Loo Loo Land hat, which in response to his emotional state has gone from a goofy grin to a sad frown.]

 

Stolas & Via were starting to look visibly worried. "Oh no. Please don't tell me our private emotional shit is gonna be shown." The teenage Owlet said in embarrassment as she shrunk in her seat.

"I apologize for what is about to be shown, I really am, but I cannot control what is chosen to be shown in each episode." Ian said in response to her distress.

"Not to take away from the emotional shit or anything, but is it just me, or did the hat change its expression from happy to sad?" Husk asked in curiosity. Many of the other audience members (Outside of the ones comforting the Owls) also looked in a similar manner towards Husk. They didn't know if it was just an 'Animation' thing or if the hat had sentience like Sir Pentious' hat or whatever, but it was certainly strange to see.

 

Stolas: I take it you are... not having fun.

Octavia: *crying* I didn't even want to come here!

Stolas: I'm sorry, sweetie. I... I thought you loved it here.

Octavia: *sniffling* When I was a kid and my parents didn't hate each other... and my dad didn't flirt with some... weird red dickhead the entire time.

Stolas: I'm sorry, Via. I'm sorry for... everything... happening right now. I know it's... a lot. I, uh-- I should have listened.

Octavia: *crying* I just want to go home... but home doesn't even feel like home anymore... You ruined it.

Stolas: You need to understand... your mother and I... I just-... I felt-... She's always been... I haven't been- Ha-... We weren't in... I'm sorry, I- I- I don't have the words.

Octavia: *crying* Are you gonna run off with him? And leave me behind? Go away where... I can't find you?

Stolas: *emphatically* What? No! No, no, never. I'd never do that. Never. I think it's time to leave this place. You were right. You are too old for it, anyway.

[Stolas carries Octavia out of the Fun House, as an imp grins maniacally in the space above the drop-ceiling, looking down on Stolas. The imp drops down and flicks open a switchblade. Stolas immediately turns around, eyes glowing brightly. The Imp immediately turns to stone and is knocked over by a pendulum. Outside, the park has been reduced to pandemonium as dusk falls. Millie attempts to shoot at Robo Fizz, who rolls around wildly. The robot is caught by the draconic creature from before, and swallowed whole, as Moxxie rides on its back. Stolas and Octavia leave the park gates.]

 

When Stolas turned the imp to stone, Blitzo looked at him in bewilderment while asking, "You could've done that Medusa shit the whole fucking time?! Why the hell did you need bodyguards then?!"

"Well, do you think I would want to do that all day when I was also wanting to spend the day with my daughter?" Blitzo couldn't counter that statement. All he could say to that was "Touche".

"Damn, now I regret not coming with you guys. If I had known that you were riding a dragon, ready to gobble up that annoying-ass robot, I so would've tagged along!" Loona commented when she saw the fight in the background.

"Yeah, that would've been fucking righteous to witness!" Cherri added.

"How the hell did it get to that point?" Sallie May asked.

"I... Actually don't remember. So much happened during that fight, I completely forgot how it ended up like that!" Blitzo answered honestly.

 

Stolas: So, what would you like to do now?

Octavia: Oh, can we go to Stylish Occult? They sell weird taxidermy there.

Stolas: *reluctantly* Hmmm, okayyyyy...

Octavia: *chuckles* Thanks, dad. You're okay, sometimes.

Stolas: Thank you, Via. Thank you.

[A massive explosion rocks the park, sending the employees of I.M.P. hurtling through the air, smoking and screaming. All three land in front of Stolas and Octavia.]

Moxxie: Way to ruin another good thing, sir!

Blitzo: Worth it! That slutty toy clown had. It. Comin'!

[Moxxie and Blitzo fall unconscious. A stray Quieve grabs Millie by the hair and drags her offscreen.]

 

When the episode ended, everyone thought it was... interesting to say the least. "Well, that was certainly an experience." Charlie said.

"Yeah, it certainly was." Verosika added.

"Hey Via, did you know that Stylish Occult exists in my world too?" Ian said to Octavia, which made everyone's heads turn to his direction.

"It does?!" Via & Loona exclaimed in unison.

"Yeah, it does! It's an online only store that sells clothing & other merchandise based on Blitzo's show, Helluva Boss, and you guys have your own merch there too!" He then proceeded to show off a Loona themed sweatshirt that he was wearing for a brief moment. "I have this because you're one of my favorites, Loona, as you're very snarky, badass, pretty, & very funny." Loona blushed at his unexpected compliment, but was also blushing because she didn't know that Stylish Occult (In his world at least) made merchandise of her. She really didn't know how to react to that, but she gave a shy thanks in return. "In fact, how would you guys feel about wearing shirts or hoodies with your face on them, directly from Stylish Occult, for this next episode? I'll put you guys back in your regular clothing when it's over."

Everyone suddenly turned beet red at the thought of wearing clothes that had their face on them, but they couldn't refuse such an interesting offer. They all nodded very fast, and with a snap of his fingers, he dressed them all up in shirts or hoodies with their own faces on them. Cherri, Loona, Via, Verosika, & Angel Dust were wearing hoodies, while the rest of them were wearing T-shirts. "I gotta admit, it's fucking weird wearing something with your own fucking face on it." Blitzo commented.

"You can say that again." Charlie added.

"Well, now that that's done with, let's move on to the next episode of Blitzo's show, with Spring Broken!" Ian announced.