Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1: Not quite a disaster

Dio Brando was standing in front of everyone in the church. More exactly, in front of Jonathan Joestar, who was in a beautiful violet wedding dress. His sharp navy blue horns were covered with a purple veil, which hid his blue eyes and his dark hair curls. His navy blue, as well, demon wings were folded behind his back but quivered with joy. The so-called pope, at Dio’s left side, began to recite lyrics in Latin as Dio noticed his little brother, Giorno, bringing the engagement rings. The tall blond man could also notice the large number of guests at the ceremony at his right side.

But wait!!!!! How did that even happen??? To find out, let's go back in time.

Dio Brando was living as a poor human with his twin: Diego Brando; and his four little brothers: Giorno Brando, Donatello Brando, Rikiello Brando and Ungaro Brando; until Dario Brando, their father, died and Diego got caught by aliens and the rest of his family, along with Dio himself, turned into vampires. It was quite the shock.

Two months eventually passed, Diego returned home after he had escaped the aliens and found himself transformed into a reptilian. He also learned at that moment that his bros were vampires. It was a second shock.

Only one year later, the Brandos started to make quite a lot of money. Dio and Diego being lawyers. Giorno being the Boss of the local mafia and Donatello being a sniper at his order. Rikiello studying to be an aerodynamics engineer. Ungaro being an anonymous (or should we say illegal?) street artist.

Eventually, this day arrived. It was a Friday afternoon.

“Hey, my brothers!” Diego called while he entered the main room of their crappy father's little house. “I found a pretty nice mansion which has been for sale since a little while now! And this one is perfect for us all. I think it’s time for us to get out of this rat hole.

- Well, I was about to say the same.” Donatello said. “Is it the one which is isolated from the city? Giorno and I spotted it too.

- Yeah. We also think it’s a great place.” Giorno replied.

“Well, as long as we move from this shitty place, that's fine with me!” Ungaro exclaimed, throwing his art material in a bag, ready to leave.

“We’re moving?” Rikiello asked when he entered the room in turn, followed by Dio.

“Finally~!” Dio sighed, going to his room. “So I don't need to ask your opinions.

- Wait, what do that mean, Dio?!” His brothers asked.

“I just bought the mansion.” The older said casually. “We’re moving now. The sooner the better.

- Always planning ahead, I see.” Diego joked.

The same evening, the six of them were at the abandoned mansion. The younger, Ungaro asked:

“Can I create my own drug now?

- Oh, hell no!!!” They all stated.

“C’mon! I’m sure there’s a basement made especially for that!

- Just don’t kill us.” Donatello warned as the others only nodded.

Dio and Giorno were already climbing the stairs, already appropriating higher grounds. Diego and Rikiello were about exploring and hoping to find a library or a kitchen. So, as Ungaro went downstairs, Donatello turned around to go check the mansion’s surroundings outside.

Dio settled in the bedroom nearest to the attic. His brothers found it odd that he preferred to settle in the floors closer to the sky, and therefore the sun, instead of preferring the darker rooms like a normal vampire. He had decided to explore the mansion last and alone. So when he heard that Diego had returned to his room and that he knew the others had finished settling in, he left his room and went downstairs. Every places were dusty but other than that the mansion was in good condition. Dio came down the last stairs and he had to admit Ungaro was right. The basement was a pretty good place to do some dangerous stuffs. Without paying much attention, the man touched the wall to his right and his fingers brushed against something metallic.

“Oh, what’s this?” He muttered out loud.

A black portico very similar to a cemetery gate was built into the wall. Badly constructed bricks were stacked behind. The blond ran his hand through the bars and touched the bricks. They were hot, like, really hot, almost burning his vampire flesh before he could heal it.

“What the-!!” He quickly withdrew his hand and grabbed the cold bars instead. A bit mad, he punched one of the bricks. It fell, making a hole. He could hear now fire’s crackles behind the wall. And screams.

He took a step back. Surprised. He then tried to open the lock on the gate. But he broke his nail instead and he decided to push the bricks one by one instead.

There was indeed a path behind the wall. How weird! Did his brothers saw it too? Stupid question. He was the first of his generation to find the place since it was sealed. Dio leaned forward and listened to the noises he could hear more clearly. The fire sounded distant and the screams too. He couldn't see more than a yard, even with his super vampire skills. He swore. His curiosity drove him to explore his discovery. He eventually tore the iron portico from its hinges with little majesty and left it on the ground. He then walked down the dark corridor.

It was getting really hot then suddenly a blinding light. Dio had to say he was amazed. He had arrived to a cliff’s top made of black rock and below was an entire city. A city bigger than whole New York, it seemed to him. The man turned himself around while observing his surrounding. He could feel his own breath and his own blond hair brushing his shoulders: it wasn't a dream. He looked at the time on the watch on his left wrist: it was past nine. He wondered if he should return home but his curiosity was really strong. Instead of walking back, he searched for a path down the cliff and eventually found one among the strange grayish plants.

Dio arrived in a public garden, where a big greenish lake in the middle was surrounded by weeping willows. There was no one except a cat on a bench. The feline had a pink and golden fur and it was looking intensely at the blond vampire. The man tried to ignore it.

“You seem rather lost, my dear sir.” The cat said as Dio walked near its spot. The man flinched and turned to look at it. The animal continued his speech:

“I've never seen you before. Oh? Are you surprised to hear a cat talking? Sorry to have surprised you, then.”

The cat then transformed into a blond haired man in a purple suit and tie. His cat ears and his fluffy combed tail were still noticeable. He asked:

“Better?”

Dio was speechless for a moment before replying:

“Sorry, I was confused. I was wandering around a bit randomly. I didn’t expect to arrive... here.” It wasn’t false. The cat man gave a polite laugh and introduced himself:

“My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm four years old, about thirty three years for a human. My house is in the northeast section of the Underworld, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as a simple salary cat, and I get home every day by 11PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by midnight, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a kitten, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

- … I am Dio Brando. I don’t search for a fight right now. Do not worry. I just want to know where I am. This is what I desire right now.” They stared at each other for a few seconds.

“Hmm… Follow me.” Yoshikage stood up. “I must go home and I know a good place on the road.

- Thank you very much.”

They arrived to a little bakery. They wished each other a good night and the cat man returned home, leaving Dio. The vampire entered the little shop and saw a map on the left wall. He approached it.

Underworld was what some humans would say: Hell. And it was most likely it. Though, there was no humans in pain nor lava on the floor. Monsters lived in society contrary to prejudice and they were civilized. The city had the shape of a hexagon. Its center had an old style, with castles and old manors. The further away from the center, the more modern were the buildings; the further north, the more sophisticated were the houses. The gate which led to the surface was to the northwest of the city but of course no one in Underworld was aware of this. The time at west and east was reversed. When it was night on one side, it was day on the other. But in the middle of Underworld, it was dark all the time. Above the city, there were white crystals on stalactites of dark rocks. From below, it looked like the starry night sky. By the way, Dio had underestimated this city’s size. Underworld was way bigger than New York, yes, but also way bigger than all United States of America.

“Sir, I would ask you to leave, please. We're going to close soon.” The baker called out to Dio. The vampire turned around. The man in front of him was made of stone and clay. On his flourish brown apron, there was a badge that read Tonpetty, certainly his name. The golem continued:

“Are you a vampire? You got lost, right?

- Is it showing that much?” Dio asked, trying to not sound irritated.

“I didn't mean to offend you. If you want, I can help you. If I remember correctly, most vampires live towards the center like demons and mermaids, right?”

The blond didn’t answer and looked up at the map instead.

“Mermaids live at the lake, which is to the west, and demons like the very middle. So, vampires must live to the east.

- …

- I don't mean to sound impolite, but how did you manage to get north all of a sudden? Do you want to move from the center? Is it too loud? Oh sorry. I ask too many questions that may not concern me.

- Hmm… How do I get there?

- Don't vampires have awe-inspiring strength and speed?” Tonpetty looked at him a bit perplexed. Dio exited the bakery, apologizing for staying outside opening hours, without replying anything else.

The vampire had a smile on his face. How lucky he was! Just at the weekend’s start, he bought and moved to a mansion to his liking and found a new world that he liked very very much as well and since he didn't work on weekends, Dio had exactly two days and three nights maximum to visit Underworld, knowing he could repeat his trip every week. It was a perfect schedule.

Chapter 2: Welcome to Underworld

It was not cool to walk, Dio thought. He found it funnier to slide at an impressive speed or to levitate. Dio was enjoying way too much his newly discovered vampire abilities. He just hoped he wouldn't get arrested by the local police because he didn't know the laws of this underground world.

The vampire finally arrived in an enormous place. He knew it was the center because there were countless stone castles. He knew it also because he saw demons walking on the street or flying with their fantastic wings. Obviously, it wasn't just demons. There were other types of monsters such as chimeras, few dragons and some flashy witches. In fact, Dio felt like it was Halloween. It was so unique. He loved it. He took a selfie more than once. After walking a few more meters, a clothing store, a particularly big one, caught his eye. He walked in and was impressed by the tons and tons of clothes that oddly were totally his style. Apparently it was the cutting edge of fashion for vampires and so Dio felt proud to be one of them.

“I'm glad you like it.”

Dio was surprised by the white-haired shop assistant who had just appeared next to him.

“I’m here to help you.

- Um…” Dio stared at them. They were fashionable so he agreed. “Thanks, I suppose guidance wouldn’t be too much of a bother at the moment. So, could you tell me where I can find a unique piece of clothing that could bring out my awesome flamboyance?

- Sure.” The long-haired man in the long-sleeved leotard asked him to wait in the dressing room and they left for the elevator. Dio therefore waited.

Later, after doing hours of shopping, Dio learned the shop assistant’s name. They were Vanilla Ice, another vampire. They had became friends in the meantime.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

The Jo-demon-estars

George Joestar was a well known demon of Greed in Underworld. He was married to Mary Joestar, who was an angel, and they had seven sons and two daughters:

The first son was Jonathan Joestar. His sin was Gluttony and his virtue was Charity.

The second son was Jorge Joestar. His sin was Pride and his virtue was Justice.

The third son was Joseph Joestar. His sin was Lust and his virtue was Temperance.

The first daughter was Jolly Joestar. Her sin was Envy and her virtue was Prudence.

The forth son was Jotaro Joestar. His sin was Wrath and his virtue was Courage.

The fifth son was Josuke Joestar. His sin was Sloth and his virtue was Hope.

The second daughter was Jolyne Joestar. Her sin was Lust and her virtue was Courage.

The sixth son was Johnny Joestar. His sin was Envy and his virtue was Faith.

The last son was Jolion Joestar. His sin was Sloth and his virtue was Temperance.

This was the Joestar family. A well known and respected family in all Underworld.

Jonathan > Navy Blue, Violet Gradient Up, No angel physical traits, big ram horns, enormous demon wings because he is very large

Jorge > Military Green, Navy Blue Gradient left to right, Has a broken physical halo, caracu cow horns, sharp but neatly folded demon wings

Joseph > Dark Red and Gold Glint, No angel physical traits, squiggly asymmetric horns and sharp, fast demon wings

Jolly > Angel Beige Wings and Little White pointy Horns

Jotaro > Black to White Gradient Down and Purple Glint, No angel physical traits, multiple pointy horns, enormous demon wings like his oldest brother

Josuke > Black Angel Wings, Point’s Yellow, and Little Black imp-like Horns

Jolyne > Blue, Green Gradient Up, Has a broken physical halo, her horns grow from her cheekbones and go upward, long demon wings

Johnny > Azure/Sky Blue, looks like a frail angel yet has No angel physical traits, antlers, thin demon wings

Jolion > White and Navy Blue Glint, wings on his head, two pairs on his back, another pair on his hips, he has demon wings but they have some small feathers

Chapter Text

Gio: I like mista&bruno

Dio: c’mon I told u to not get attached to zombies. You’ll be sad, they’re fragile

dude: so you’re the 2^nd child?

Joseph: nope, he is *points jorge*

dude: wanna watch something?

Diego: jurassic park!

Joseph: *sees lisa lisa* niiiice!

Smokey: u know she could be ya mom

joseph: y did ya ruined dis for me. C’mon dude

caesar: *sweating womanizer*

kak: I’m a japanese spirit

joot: ur a yokai

kak: umm yes

joot: *resumes what a kyubi is* + “what’s your favorite type of fried tofu”

kak: wtf, i'm not gonna answer that

gio: now I’m also a joestar

the brandos and the joestars: whaaaaat??!

gio: I sucked jonathan’s

everyone: *turn to see jonathan*

jona: I think he means my blood

kak: damn ur sister looking good

joot: which one?

Kak: ……both

joot: *stares at him with unfathomable fury*

jona&jolion: I didn’t know human were greedy

joot&johnny: not as much as father

jorge&joseph: they got a point

jolyne: sorry I’m more a minecraft fan than a world of warcraft fan

anasui: jolyne…

hermes: yes!

josuke&kak: *loud gamer noises*

giorno&jolyne: u can’t write josuke without uke

josu: I hate u

jona: *swears*

everyone: *loud gasp* who did this to the innocent one?

Jona: hey I’m the older one. I know how to swear. It’s not dramatic.

Everyone: *even more loud gasp*

dio: not so innocent hehe

ungaro: look at dis cigars, they taste drug

dio: oh god…

ungaro: and dis drug tastes | za warudo |

dio: *seems to get shot by an imaginary golden arrow* OH GOD! *flashback from another life*

Reporter: catman researched for murder *shows picture*

dio: oh, I know him … it’s u, isn’t it

kira: …yeah…

polpo: *knows about the gate and plans to escape to the human world*

gio: muda muda

polpo: *dies*

gio: Ungaro, per l'amor di Dio, can you stop tagging police stations? Mamma mia, you’re going to get us all arrested!

ungaro: Oi, Giorno, lighten up, will ya? It’s just a bit of art. Not my fault the coppers don’t appreciate genius.

gio: Ungaro, I swear to God-!

Donatello: I’ve done it! I’ve created a device that can track alien energy signatures! Diego, this could help us find your abductors!

Diego: Not this again…

This ones are written more polished:

Rikiello excitedly shows Ungaro his latest design. “Look! It’s a drone that can outmaneuver any police helicopter!” Ungaro shrugs. “Cool. Can it spray paint?”

Giorno leans back in his chair, twirling a golden lock of hair between his fingers. “Donatello, take care of the traitor. And make it… poetic.” Donatello nods, loading his sniper rifle. Donatello peers through his scope, his voice calm. “Target acquired. Say the word, Boss.” Giorno smirks. “Do it.”

Jolion sighs as his siblings argue. “Can we focus on the food and not my… situation?” Joseph smirks. “Sure, Quad-Balls.”

Jotaro excitedly shows Jolyne a new scroll. “Look! It’s a map to the Yokai realm! Do you think they’ll let me in?” Jolyne pats his head. “Sure, Jotaro. Sure.”

Jolly scribbles in her journal, her little white horns glowing faintly. “What are you writing?” Johnny asks. “Nothing!” she snaps, slamming the journal shut.

Jorge scowls when Joseph brings up mermaids. “Don’t. Just don’t,” he snaps, his navy blue gradient darkening.

“Jonathan,” Dio begins, his voice steady but with a hint of something softer, “you’ve always been the one person who could see through my façade. You’ve challenged me, infuriated me, and somehow, you’ve made me a better man. I don’t deserve you, but I’ll spend eternity trying to.”

Chapter Text

Ship:

DioJona BL

JoCae (Reversable (I mean they switch between top and bottom)) BL

GioMis (Reversable) BL

GioBru BL

JotaKak BL and Otome (since Kak can shapeshift)

OkuJosu BL

AbbaBru BL

GyroJo (Reversable) BL

NaraTrish Otome (On second thought, nuh huh)

JorgeLisa (Canon) Otome

ACDCKarz Bl

WhamJo (Reversable) BL

DiegoHP Otome

GioJona BL

JotaKishi BL (I remember, it’s on a weird way, like attraction/respect but no romance)

MohaPol (Reversable) BL

Diappio BL (selfcest?)

FugoMiki BL (shut it, I like it)

Details:

Johnny never walks or stands. He is always flying or sitting.

The Dio and Diego have a British accent, the others american but Giorno learned Italian and sometimes has a weird Latin accent.

Giorno and Ungaro don’t get along at all.

Dio and Diego are around 21 to 23yo, Giorno 20yo, Donatello 19yo, Rikiello 18yo and Ungaro is 16yo.

Tonpetty, Pucci and Weather are all clay golem. Weather is a Kaolin clay golem more precisely. Santana is a technetium golem, Wham is a pumice golem, ACDC a phosphorus nodules golem and Karz an obsidian golem.

Valentine is in the Underworld for various reasons. He won’t come back to the surface though.

Jolly is a fujoshi and ships her own siblings with different people

Jorge and LisaLisa have a thing but he is embarrassed about it. He also doesn't want his family to find out.

The Zeppeli family is a rival of the Joestar family because they are both greed oriented monsters (dragon treasure gatherer and horder vs. George Joestar demon of greed (aka mammon))

The main romance is Dio x Jonathan if you hadn't notice.

Jotaro is a weeb/nerd for japanese folklore.

Giorno and Dio are the only ones that like going in the Underworld. They told Diego there is a path to hell under their house but he is too scared to go there (he went once). Donatello doesn't care, he'd rather take care of mafia business. Rikiello and Ungaro are not aware of the Underworld.

Polpo lives in the lake where Kira and Dio first mate. He is an octopus (makes sense considering the name of the guy).

Mikitaka is one of Diego's abductor and spies on him (he learnt about the underworld while following him).

Mrs Mary Joestar is dead beacuse she couldn't bear George being a greedy demon (their alliance was not consensual).

Fugo and Ghiaccio are rivals.

Pucci and Weather have the same creator but they are opposite (yin/yang).

Jotaro has the same friend squad than in Stardust Crusaders (Polnareff, Kakyoin, Avdol) and he is friend with Lisa Lisa (more like a mentor to him), Rohan (because he is a yokai) and somewhat Abbachio too (they use to be in the same class).

Bruno is a zombie because of Abbachio, who was searching for the immortality potion and tested them on Bruno until he found the right formula (he then drank it and become immortal).

Narancia knows Stroheim and Fugo because he wants to be less furry and agrees to be tested stuff on.

Hermes and Mista are close neighbors. So basically, Jolyne's squad (Hermes, Foo, Anasui, Weather, Emporio) and Giorno's squad (Mista, Bruno, Leone, Narancia, Trish) hangout together sometimes.

Emporio likes occult stuff so he made a deal with Jolyne to let her and her squad hangout on the surface when they want to and protect him from other monsters in exchange.

Trish is still Diavolo/Doppio's daughter but is human because her mom is a human. She's the only human that lives in the Underworld but she fits in (somehow).

Koichi is a regular guy but he is the target of Josuke and Okyasu's devillish pranks.

Joseph is friend with almost everyone. He at least knows everyone.