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Wei Wuxian despairs. He knows exactly five and a half recipes. Scrambled Eggs, hotcakes, porridge, plain rice, instant noodles, and half the recipe of his sister's lotus root and pork rib soup. He was always forgetting the second half. Or losing it.
He really hasn't worried about it in like… Three years? Maybe four…? He hasn't really cared since Lan Zhan and he started living together as roommates. And, yep, Wei Ying will insist they're only roommates no matter how much his Jiejie teases him about living with his high-school crush and how many times Jiang Cheng gags jokingly when the subject arises. They don't need to know that Lan Zhan is still his crush and best friend. They probably know, though…
The thing is! He hasn't worried about cooking since he started living with Lan Wangji, because Lan Zhan is perfect! And he always cooks for both of them. They even have a deal. Lan Zhan cooks and Wei Ying washes the dishes. It's perfect! Wei Ying has been keeping regular eating schedules thanks to this. He’s eating healthy things, too. Lettuce and tofu and those kinds of things. And Lan Zhan doesn’t need to worry about cleaning up. Again, perfect!
At least that's what Wei Ying had been telling himself until last weekend.
In his defence, Lan Zhan should be the one who has a better immune system between the two of them. He eats better, has a regular sleep schedule, meditates, does yoga, doesn’t eat junk food between his meals… And, most importantly, he is from Gusu. It gets freaking cold in winter over there. Wei Ying knows that too well. He’s gone exactly ten times in winter. He dreads the season because he hasn’t learned how to tell Lan Zhan that, no, he doesn’t want to freeze his ass while his uncle glares at him for being the unruly bad influence he is. At least Lan Xichen seems to like him… and Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng are there to be glared at along with him as Xichen's boyfriends.
Anyway! Lan Zhan should be used to cold weather! He shouldn't be getting sick so easily. Wei Ying should've been the one to get that bad flu. He has to admit, though, Lan Zhan's red flushed cheeks are too cute and he's gotten distracted more than once by them. That doesn't mean he enjoys his crush, best friend, roommate, and almost something, suffering from the flu.
It started on Friday. Lan Zhan had become half a zombie overnight. Red cheeks and eyes, sore body, temperature, clogged nose… the whole package. Wei Ying had insisted he had to rest and not get out of bed unless he was going to the bathroom or watching movies with him on the sofa. He would look after and take care of him; he convinced Lan Zhan that that was the least Wei Ying could do to repay him for all the time Lan Zhan had been taking care of him. He, of course, never mentioned he'd be living his high school fantasy of taking care of his sick crush, and… UGH… Wei Ying sometimes cringed at himself when he thought about that.
That first day Wei Ying definitely didn't despair. They still had some meals Lan Zhan had prepared last week, so he just reheated that for lunch and bought some takeout from their favourite ramen place and called it a day. Saturday was kind of okay, too. He made scrambled eggs for breakfast, way too much porridge for lunch and hotcakes for dinner. Sunday had him panicking a bit. He reheated the porridge for breakfast, made lotus root and pork rib soup after miraculously finding the second half of the recipe. He reheated more porridge for dinner.
Lan Zhan hadn't said a word even with the repeated meals. He'd just eaten and thanked Wei Wuxian.
Today Wei Ying had made hotcakes again. For breakfast, this time. He was glad, oh, he was SO GLAD their students were on vacation… He'd be going even crazier if he had to teach and prepare everything for his classes and cook, and clean, and… Lan Zhan hadn't said a word, but he stared at Wei Ying for a solid three minutes before he understood that they were seriously having hotcakes again and started eating.
"Jiejieeeeeeeeee!"
Jiang Yanli bursts into giggles from the other side of the screen. Little Jin Ling sighs dramatically in the background.
"Jiujiu!! You're being silly… again!"
Who's Wei Ying to scold this child? He himself (and Jiang Cheng) taught him to be this dramatic. He can only break character to laugh out loud in the kitchen, forgetting for a second that Lan Zhan's finally managed to fall asleep.
"Jiejieee! You need to help meeeee! Pleeeeeaaseeeeeeee! Lan Zhan will probably evict me from his- the kitchen!"
Yanli can't help but keep giggling as she listens to Wei Ying. Living apart has only made her love for her brothers grow exponentially. She listens to him and scolds him whenever a swear word escapes his lips in Jing Ling's presence.
"I've just the recipe for you, A–Ying. You'll have to go shopping, though."
Wei Ying's phone buzzes with a message.
"I just sent you the recipe. Check the ingredients, you may already have some of them."
Wei Ying does. There are a few he's missing. He groans.
"Jiejie! It'll be a pain in the-" Jiang Yanli lifts an eyebrow. He clears his throat. "I mean, a pain! It'll be a pain to find these things!"
"Jiujiuuuu!!! A pain in whereeeee!?"
"A-Ling! It's just a pain! A general pain! No specific place at all, dear nephew of mine!"
Yanli can't help but shake her head and laugh at their antics.
After checking on Lan Zhan, leaving a glass of water by his night stand, and taking a trip to the supermarket, Wei Ying places the ingredients on the counter and calls Yanli once more.
"Now, A-Ying, I'll be doing it with you, so it won't be that difficult. First get ready to make the salsa."
"Um… Jiejie, Lan Zhan doesn't eat any spicy–"
"Yeah, I know, nothing spicy. It's one of the several Lan Zhan trivia facts you've drilled into our brains along the years. Don't worry, he'll enjoy this."
The first part goes along easily. Cook some chicken, make a simple salsa while the chicken cooks, take out the chicken… It's when they get to roasting the poblano peppers that Wei Ying and Jin Ling regret their decisions.
Jin Ling had been insisting on helping with everything, but as most of it involved fire, Yanli hadn't let him. Now, with the chicken cooked, Yanli gave him a chunk to shred, knowing he'd take quite some time completing the chore. Once Wei Ying finishes shredding his own chicken, Yanli starts showing him how to roast the poblano peppers and rub off the charred skin. So far, so good. Yanli's kitchen is well aired, and not much smoke accumulates. Jin Ling coughs and his eyes water, anyway.
"Ah-Ling, you can leave for a bit, if you want, love."
"No!" Jin Ling's little face scrunches up. "I'm gonna help!"
Wei Ying coos and melts and thinks the kid might be just overreacting to the bit of smoke he sees. Yanli starts having a bit of problems, too, but she continues. Wei Ying brushes it off, not thinking much of it. It's when he starts doing it himself that he sees all his mistakes. There's no problem with the first one. The smoke makes his throat itch, yes, but nothing much. By the third, he's choking on the smoke. There's so much of it, that even Lan Zhan, in his closed room, starts coughing.
"Wei Ying…"
"Ah…! Lan Zhan! You're not allowed into the kitchen!"
Wei Ying hears Lan Zhan huff, then how he pads slowly through the apartment and opens the windows.
"Hi, Ah-Zhan!"
Yanli shouts from Wei Ying's phone, and Wei Ying shouts it again so Lan Zhan can hear from out of the kitchen.
"Lan Zhan, Jiejie says hi! Yanli-jie, not Wen Qing!"
Lan Zhan comes into the kitchen.
"Good afternoon, Jiang Yanli. Lovely to see you."
"So polite Ah-Zhan!"
Jin Ling beams when Lan Wangji's face appears on the screen. Wei Ying shudders at the sight and prays to all existing gods that his dear spoiled gremlin of a nephew doesn't–
"Hi, Lan-Er-Jiujiu! Are you married to my Wei-Jiujiu yet?"
Wei Ying blushes and groans.
"Ah-Ling!"
Yanli bursts out laughing. Lan Zhan has the decency of not commenting anything on it and just greeting the child.
"Hi, Ah-Ling. No, we're not married, were just-" he stutters. It's almost imperceptible, but Wei Ying would be damned if he didn't hear it after years of knowing him. "Just friends."
They let it go. Lan Zhan stays to supervise Wei Ying's cooking. He takes over after a while, though, when Wei Ying screeches as the oil jumps while he fries the first tortilla. On the other side of the screen, Jin Ling makes fun of Wei Ying, until oil jumps in front of him, too. Both uncle and nephew end up relegated to assembling the pastel azteca with the fried tortillas.
A few minutes later, after they finish the dish and put it in the oven, they end the video call and Lan Wangji goes to sleep on the couch. Wei YIng can't help but stare at him in a daze. He seems to be doing better now, his temperature seems to be gone, doesn't seem to be aching much, and his breathing sounds okay. He wakes up when the timer for the food goes off.
Wei Ying tenses and fidgets, waiting for Lan Zhan's reaction to the dish. Lan Zhan hums in appreciation and eats some more.
"Wei Ying, I love you too much to say anything against your repetitive cooking, but I'm glad you asked Jiang Yanli for help."
Wei Ying freezes and sputters. His face burns.
"Wai-! Lan Zhan! You-! AH! You said you love me-!?
Lan Wangji is glad Wei Ying didn't catch up on him hating his knowing only five recipes. Six, if he counts this one. He makes a mental note to start teaching him how to cook.