Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It takes a while for Glitch to come into consciousness.

It takes even more to remember the entirety of what happened.

Shattered glass lay across the floor, the metallic scent of blood heavily potent in the air. 

He can’t fight back. Fuck.

Glitch chokes, a mixture of bile and blood rising up to his throat—

“Should’ve expected this,” was the distant grunt.

The world swerves, his stomach lurches at the abrupt acceleration, and his back hits the wall harshly.

Crack.

His head is pounding.

All he receives is a muttered apology before a shot rings through the air.

“A pitiful end for a young one.” A voice croons, and Glitch snaps his head around, the phantom pain striking him in his belly. 

He wheezes a breath. “What—”

“You were never meant to die this way.” Something cold carves through his hair, and Glitch shudders at the NOT very pleasant feeling that ran down his spine.

“I’m well aware you have always imagined meeting your end by your own hand—if not at the very least, on your own terms.” 

Glitch tenses. 

Who the FUCK is this rando— where even is he?? He can feel something obscuring his vision, and some voice in the back of his mind, tells him it’s better this way.

“No matter, we’re moving to much more important matters—” What could be apparently more important other than him Dying??? “I want you to spin a wheel.”

…

A wheel.

Damn.

Priorities.

If this is the afterlife, limbo, whatever, it sucks. He remembers one of the OCs two of his friends made, some God in the underworld that flips a coin on where the other souls are going to end up.

Except here, it’s spinning a fucking wheel. 

“I can’t see shit.” Glitch huffs. His voice seems a lot hoarse. Maybe that’s because he was hurling curses not too long ago, if his time is correct.

Probably not, though.

A picker wheel materializes in front of him.  

Oh. Well there it is. It looks horrendous.

He can’t turn his head around, though..whatever. He’s here for the wheel, right? Right. What fucking afterlife or limbo has you spin a damn wheel???

Nonetheless, he lifts his arm and swings. Now that Glitch is peering closer, he can see..

“Dude are these fucking popular medias or something??” Glitch isn’t really sure what to call them. (Fandoms? Uh. Yeah, sure.) But what he’s sure of is that there’s Blocktales, PRESSURE, Forsaken, PHIGHTING! and…that’s about it, actually.

If he thinks harder, (not that he needs to) those are roblox games. All of them are entirely just roblox games. What kind of limbo is this bruh.

“Bro. Are you— seriously? Roblox games?” Glitch stares at the still-spinning wheel with incredulity. If he could, he would stare at the other weirdo beside him.

“Is that not the game you so frequently indulge in?” Is the answer he receives.

“I mean—” He doesn’t play it often. Hell he doesn’t play Forsaken, nor Phighting. Actually– maybe a bit of Phighting before he got embarrassed as fuck, but still not as much. Still, he has played Roblox pretty recently. And frequently, unlike Minecraft.

Minecraft’s just rotting on his laptop. He got a bit bored.

“I guess so,” he concedes, and continues to stare at the wheel, having reduced its pace and…

It lands on Phighting.

Glitch isn’t given another moment to speak, because the other guy near him cuts in before he could say a word. “Excellent. Now then, I want you to make a choice, A..or B?”

“Is this like, something that would heavily impact me and probably cost my life?” Pardon Glitch for being paranoid— nevermind don’t fucking pardon him, he just died and one of those options are probably him selling his fucking soul or getting an icecream dumped right on his head and having it stick forever as some characteristic trait.

“Goodness, no, do you really believe I could be so cruel?” 

Glitch does not deign them with an answer.

They sit in silence for a while before a loud clap! resounds the whole place— which should be impossible because- yeah Glitch doesn’t know, it just gives off that vibe.

“Enough delay, get on with your answer.” They urge.

He gives a brief hum, doing the whole ‘inny-meeny-miny-mo’ ritual under his breath. “Uh, A, then.” He sure hopes this doesn’t cost like, a damn organ, or probably his entire rights and free will and possibly his soul. 

“Ooh? Oh, splendid!” Glitch is not too sure about that. “Lastly, is there anything, an ability or whatnot, you would want to accompany you?”

Maybe fucking therapy, or his damn family. Like his pre. Or his Ate/Kuya (Big sister/Big brother), whatever gender they go by right at this moment. He’s pretty sure his Ading would be fucking unpleasant (affectionate) here. (But he very much wants the guy’s company.)

Oh, yeah, right, he’s supposed to answer. “Like. Ugh, fuck I dunno, do I have a limit on how many I get to um, get?”

“I’ll be so generous and put the maximum of two.”

“What the hell,” Glitch groans, moving his hand to slap his face. Oh, he can move his hand! But he can’t turn his head. Whatever, okay, speedrun. He’s already thought this out! (He did not.)

He requests for regeneration, (and for it to NOT be slow as shit, of course.) and the good ol’ ability to make runes and/or seals. Glitch was mostly thinking of seals. Oh and that he doesn’t need to buy the weird ink stuff you totally need to use for making seals or runes, like in fiction. Some fiction. He’s gonna have it himself, like some sort of unlimited item!

Blah blah blah. All the good stuff.

“Is that all?” 

Glitch squints at the wheel, because he can’t squint anywhere else. “Unless you have some random surprise for me, no.” He pauses. “Hey, what am I supposed to call you?”

There’s an amused lilt to the other guy’s voice when they answer, “I go by any name. You may call me however you wish.” 

Glitch stares at the wheel.

“Aurafarmer, but like—” Sort of like [AURAFARMER]. Because that’s literally the vibe this guy gives. 

“Ah, some things don’t change, do they?” [AURAFARMER] croons, and Glitch feels another cold hand comb through his hair. 

The fuck does that mean?

The hand-thing (because now that Glitch focuses more onto it, it feels weirdly not hand-y. Eugh. Wait, he did kinda realize that earlier.) on his head halts, “No more dilly-dallying, off you go~” 

“Huh, wai—” 

He isn’t given time to continue his sentence, as the next thing he feels is the harsh wind biting his skin, gravity pulling him down and he’s falling he’s falling—

Glitch jolts awake in some stinky ahh alleyway.

Ugh. He feels..weird. And wrong! And way smaller— is he a child? A baby? Fetus? No way.

He snaps his head to inspect his lower body, gawking at what he discovers. 

Lo and behold, he is a fucking cat. Fuckass [AURAFARMER] what the hell. When he made those reader as an animal fics, that wasn't a sign he should turn into one!

..okay maybe he should be happier about this, probably, but he’s not. Glitch is a cat and he’s..

It feels a bit disabling. 

And unfamiliar. And— he doesn’t know. Glitch shifts to stand on four limbs, stumbling just for a bit. He’s not supposed to be this small. And with..fur. Nor are his legs supposed to be like this. And it’s wrong, at least being a demon would be easier because he’d feel a lot more normal despite being glaringly bald and—

It’s okay! It’ll take a while to get used to this. Besides, who’s gonna fault a cat for looking like it’s not used to its body? For all they know, he could be freshly coming from a…fight. Or something.

He sighs, and something sways gently behind him, brushing against his hind legs. 

Glitch flinches, body swiveling to look behind him.

Nothing.

He scrunches up his snout, and— oh, was that his tail? 

Glitch turns his head over his shoulder, and proceeds to chase his tail for a whole three minutes. Yeah, he did attempt to catch it.

At some point, he stops whatever he was doing abruptly, and does a little self-evaluation.

What the fuck am I doing, he thinks to himself. What he should be doing is finding something to eat! And drink! What the hell is he doing trying to catch his tail????

What is he, a cat? Lmao. Loool.

..yes. Yes, he is.

Glitch huffs, and pads towards outside, anywhere but this stinky shady ahh alleyway. From what he can see, it’s probably Crossroads. He doesn’t know what all the other factions look like, and he didn’t really bother memorizing the names of the maps. 

Probably a mistake.

But he’s a cat, bruh. He’s not sure what that makes a counter-argument of, but still. Cat. 

All he knows is that Blackrock is like Russia, snowy as shit and uhhhh. Something about it being technologically advanced. And that one pink twink is a scientist there.

Subspace? Ah, and Hydralaser. No, Hyperlaser. 

Bruh it’s gears. He knows gears.

Not Zuka, though, the fuck is that. He’s named B. Zuka right?

Beezuka. Oh…Bazooka? Nevermind, maybe he should’ve wished for a laptop, kind of like that one Phighting fanfic he’s bingeread before. And tons of others. Always them damn laptops, chat.

Alas, he has no ties to his previous life.

…nevermind, wow, that’s a lot to unpack, and he does not want to do that right now. Glitch’s already done enough thinkering today, he needs to eat.

Maybe snatch some snacks and store ‘em. Good thing to test his really-nearby-future storage seals on, no? 

Alright. Time to kiss some ass for some food, then. 

Chapter Text

Glitch did not kiss ass, because he would never kiss literal ass. That was an exaggeration. 

What he did, however, was get pets. And food. Snacks, even. So now he’s extremely satisfied with this very purr-ductive day. Hehe.

Hell, he’s curled up against some guy in some cafe, purring on their lap as they run their fingers (claws) over his back.

Did he ever expect being pet to be so fucking good? No. Will he trade this for anything else? Uhhh. No. Though that remains to be seen. 

He probably needs to try catnip. Isn’t that like weed, but for cats or something? He wouldn’t know. 

The hand returns, this time giving him a little scratch behind the ears— ooh. Oh. Oh. 

It’s better than drugs, Jeremy.

Fuck weed. Maybe there are ups to being a cat, after all. No, there are definitely ups to being a cat, he gets to be lazy as fuck. 

(Which is bad, he thinks. But other cats probably don’t think that way. But then again again, other cats are not exactly like Glitch, as far as he knows! So is the comparison fair..????) 

But maybe those upsides would ACTUALLY matter if he wasn’t dea—

Another glide of fingers down his back has him Lost In Paradise (insert JJK intro) once again, burying himself further into bliss. Glitch mews, just as another hand scratches below his chin. God this is so embarrassing, some inner part of him murmurs but he quickly shoves it away because fuck that, being pet is actually a damn gift he could never had gotten as a human.

Without seeming like a weird guy, anyway.

And that’s completely understandable, okay! He’s not blaming anyone. 

A finger boops his nose, and Glitch flicks his eyes towards the demon keeping him in their lap. They smile, and boop the space between his eyes. 

“Boop.” They boop him again, before suspending their finger in the air. Glitch baps it with his palm— paw. 

Also, holy fuck, what the hell is that voice octave default. It’s so..

“Boop. Boop. Boop.”

Damn, that’s deep.

Sanaol. (I wish all.)

Glitch baps the demon thrice just as they had booped him, and they’ve continued this on until they had to leave. Right after they had finished their drink.

They, as in singular and not plural,  because apparently, Glitch could not come with. Something about their roommate.

Bruh, Glitch thinks and mournfully watches as the stranger leaves. He hops down the chair, pads over to the entrance—

Where the hell did they go???

..ugh. 

Okay, that’s for another day, then.

So! Here’s the thing. Glitch is most definitely not a normal cat— he’s pretty much knew that since he like, got reborn. As a cat. 

Duh.

But the problem (or, well, not-problem) lies within the fact that he can’t piss or shit.

It has been a few days already.

Glitch has not once taken a piss or shit on some unsuspecting place or publicly (which he will never do, he has some dignity left). Which cats normally do.

And he has not been a normal cat.

For over three days.

Even when he has eaten large amounts of food. Which really begs the question— how much can he eat in that practical-void of a stomach of his? 

This is why he’s at his seventh bench at that day, getting fed a loaf of bread. 

So far, fourteen people have fed him. The other seven inphernals fed him in the weird alleyways. (Glitch sure hopes he gets a weird resistence towards poison, even if poisoning a cat is not uncommon. Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t happen, though.) Aaand he’s gotten cooed at and petted countless times! 

Life is good, Glitch thinks as he hops right down the bench, circling the inphernal’s legs before leaving.

He’s slowly getting used to this sort of body. Better be acquainted first than anything, right? And woah, he’s agile and flexible. 

He can make big ass fucking jumps. Big for his size. Cats are such olympics. Or— well, most.

But yeah!

Life is good—

—Is what he would say before reality (unfortunately) punches him square on the face and reels him back in and he’s left wondering where the fuck he’s going to have his Sleeping Spot.

Okay. 

So. 

Another thing. 

Glitch has not slept. At all. Sue him, but it was experimental, and as it turns out— he can only keep himself upright for a few days until he feels the wear of fatigue being dumped on him like a pile of unwelcomed trashbags.

He prooobably should’ve actually found a place in advance just in case the sleepiness ever hits. 

But Glitch didn’t, so lo and behold, the consequences of his actions. Or lack thereof.

It’s okay because no one’s gonna fault a lil’ kibby just for this. 

And anyway.

…doesn’t he have a whole seal thing going on? Can’t he like, create something that gives him energy? Wow, caffeine in the form of fucking seals.

But he doesn’t wanna do that right now. Ugh, okay, maybe he should test his abilities the next day. For now, juuuust a simple teleportation seal.

Glitch looks around. His eyes land on a dumpster and he huffs. 

Eww…

Glitch leaps on top of the dumpster, peering carefully into the contents.

..eugh. He can practically taste the smell. But that’s pretty fine, because he’s had enough exposure back in his previous life. 

There’s no paper..however, there is a peel of banana.

…

That definitely counts, right??? Kinda like paper. Or something.

Glitch latches onto the discarded peel with his claws, and hops down the dumpster, laying it flat.

Okay.

Um.

What the fuck.

He made a deal that he doesn’t need to buy all that fancy ink shit, right? So, where the everloving hell and earth and the high heavens is the unlimited ink he’s supposed to spawn in??

Ughhh. He wants his ink. His unlimited sealing ink only meant for him.

Ewan ko sayo, [AURAFARMER], (I don’t know with you.) Glitch idly thinks. He’d feel much better if that weirdo left a note on how he could just spawn his unlimited ink.

Glitch clicks his tongue in mild frustration, looking at the banana peel.

Then at the gooey mess at the right side of his paw.

Then at the banana peel.

Hey, hold on— 

Glitch whips his head to the small BATIM looking puddle and jerks backwards. Wait. He pauses, stares at the smear on the ground that’s practically leading to his direction. 

Or more specifically, his right paw.

Glitch slowly drags his gaze to said paw, and lifts his limb to his face.

Oh, oh wow. That sure is the ink, alright. Glitch scrunches his nose, and sighs at the thing staining his damn fur. 

Dawg.

His luscious white fur.

Granted, it’s only one part that it’s stained and not his whole fucking body, but..well. Yeah. 

No more dwelling, then! 

Glitch proceeds to stare at the banana peel for five whole minutes.

Okay, whatever. Bahala na si Batman, (It’s up to Batman.) Glitch thinks as he scribbles on the banana peel, intent of eepy-dark-place practically pouring in waves. Hey, it sounds pretty stupid, but uh. Intent is almost like, all of the magic stuff.

..he should’ve asked to be a psychic instead. Bruh.

Lo and behold, the ink starts to faintly glow and—

The world swerves.

WOAH–

Glitch stumbles, regaining his footing after a few moments. His right paw buzzes faintly.

Um. Well okay. 

Glitch surveys his surroundings. Dude what is this emo looking architecture? Wait, that’s mean. Okay but seriously it feels like he’s in gothic tim—

“Who goes there?” PAKSHET, MAY TAO DITO??? (FUCK SHIT, THERE’S PEOPLE HERE???) 

Glitch freezes. Maybe he should’ve specified a lot more where he wanted to go other than eepy-dark-place. 

He sloooowly turns around, and is met with a Dracula-Batman Looking demon. Their cloak sways from imaginary-winds. Their silhouette reminds him more of Batman, though. Batcula (That shall be his placeholder name, of course!) looks down at him with a cocked head, “Ah. Just a mere feline, then.” Yep. Yeah. Cat. Meow. 

Also, bro, this is like the second person he’s met that has such a nice voice. Batcula should do ASMR. The suuuper chill ones, they’d make actual bank with it.

“How did you reach this place?” Batcula inquires softly, like Glitch can actually provide an informational answer verbally.

He meows.

Batcula stares at him for a second too long before they hum, moving to crouch as Glitch pads closer. “..I see.” They nod, like he said some ancient fucking proverb rather than a meow. “You wish to rest, then?” 

Glitch lets out a quiet ‘mreow’, butting his head against the— holy shit that hand is so cold. What the helly??? Okay then. 

“..hm. This is no place for a small creature like you. But I shall allow it, you will be gone in the morning, anyhow.”

Glitch settles into the lap that’s basically been offered, (laps are perfect beds) and wooow this guy is LITERALLY a living Air Conditioner. Because where the fuck is that cold wind coming from, their buttcheeks? Dawg be fr. 

A hand settles lightly upon Glitch’s back, rubbing soothingly over his spine. “Rest.” that ASMR-voice of Batcula rumbles. 

Glitch’s mind and body practically comply.

He dreams of nice things.

An Glitch is strolling through the beach, feet digging slightly into the sand and causing wet footprints on the way. 

The saltwater clings to his shirt, his hair damp from tripping into the water far too many times by strong tides.

He slows down as he reaches the sand castle he and his brother made, filled with rocks and shells, of course. The sea seems to always knock it down. Glitch huffs, kneeling and placing the rocks Ading (In this case— little brother.) had given to him onto the castle.

“Ate!” (Big sister!) A voice calls out in the distance, and it’s way younger and high-pitched than his brother. Glitch whips his head around to find Gabby running towards him, two dark feathers in her small hands, both different in length. “Look, I found uh– I found two feathers. This one’s bigger!” She raises the longer feather.

“Wooow!” Glitch grins at her, “Where’d you find ‘em?” He cocks his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. 

Gabby blinks, turning around in the opposite direction and pointing. “There. But, um, but actually I found the bigger one first.” She places the longer feather in Glitch’s hand, patting it twice. “Where’s Kuya?” (Big brother.) She inquires after a moment, kneeling on the sand with Glitch. “Is he still in the water?”

Glitch snorts. “Pfft, yeah.” 

“Does Kuya really like swimming?”

Glitch places the feather carefully into the castle, making sure it’s secured. “Mhm. Your Kuya does.”

“Oh, I’m kinda- um, sometimes- most times actually I’m really scared of the ocean.” Gabby fiddles with the feather in her grasp, brushing it over the sand like she’s polishing something. “Do you like swimming too, Ate?”

He hums, reaching over to snatch a few shells and position them on the sand. “Sometimes. Just not too deep, y’know?” Gabby nods, mimicking Glitch’s action and placing a particularly bigger shell near the smaller ones. “Ah, ah— Gab, you put that one way behind.” 

“Oh, okay. Is it ‘cause it looks nicer and— really cleaner?”

“Looks more..orderly.” Glitch pats Gabby’s head with his free hand that’s not stained with sand. 

A yell has him swiveling his head over his shoulder. “HUY ATE, CATCH!”

Glitch wakes up slightly less cold than when he had slept. Something settles in his chest heavily. 

Of course he’d dream about his past life, of couuuurse. Glitch may have a habit of sometimes dwelling on things a lot more than he probably should be- from time to time, but right now? He’s going to push that aside, and find a surface to…

..do all that seal thing.

Batcula said he kinda had to be gone at morning, right? Kinda feels like morning. Or not. Glitch’s not too sure because his body clock might be fucked up by his already-ruined sleep schedule. 

Either way, it feels like morning.

Stepping over a stray banana peel, (who the hell leaves that out?? C’mon Dracula. This does not fit the Emo Quarters of yours.) he begins his search.

Unfortunately, he finds nothing. So Glitch ends up resorting to the chair. Better than the chair than a table, duh. 

He ends up getting out after, except he spawned somewhere in Crossroads with a chair at his side. 

Sorry Batcula po, Glitch unapologetically apologizes and continues his day. The sky seems bright and clear, so maybe his body clock is not completely doomed.