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Dating Stephen.
Tony rolls the idea around in his head a bit. Okay, more than a bit. Maybe every second he hasn’t been busy since he spoke to Scott. Somehow, it hadn’t made that evening with Stephen awkward at all, which surprises Tony, and also adds another element to his ponderings.
Dating Pepper had been a lot of work. He loved her, and it had been worth the work, but it had never felt easy. Being around Stephen is frequently easy. Tony could truthfully say it’s easy more often than not, even taking into account their lessons in Infinity Stones and soul magic. Their minds work in startlingly similar ways, if on different tracks, and somehow Tony has more in common with a neurosurgeon-turned-wizard than with the woman who took over his company.
It’s the easiness that makes Tony uncertain if he should go for it. It almost feels too easy.
Soul has been remarkably quiet about the whole thing, given its opinions on Pepper, but that thought draws a burst of exasperation.
Okay, let’s hear it, Tony thinks, because if Soul is going to weigh in eventually, he’d rather it be sooner rather than later.
Suffering is not required to make something meaningful, Soul says.
Tony’s jaw actually drops. That’s not what he expected at all.
Souls are marked as deeply by unalloyed joy as they are by unalloyed pain, Soul goes on. If you wish to make a connection with another soul, you do not have to earn it. Such connections are natural and necessary. I chose you for my bearer because you have many connections, and those most important to you are deep. If you intend to cut yourself off from others because you are my bearer, you defeat the point entirely.
What if I’m only feeling this way about Stephen because I’m your bearer? Tony asks.
Soul’s exasperation only grows. What if Rhodey is only your friend because you met at MIT? What if you only dated Pepper because she was there for you after your kidnapping? Circumstances influence your relationships because that’s the way relationships work.
Emotions are your thing, though, Tony points out. And you have been sharing Stephen’s with me.
And you have always been aware of which emotions are yours and which are not, Soul counters. It’s no different than enjoying being around Rhodey because you know he likes you.
Which is a fair point. Although… I’ve been feeling Stephen’s emotions, Tony thinks. Shouldn’t I know if he’s interested in me romantically? The burst of incredulity from Soul actually makes Tony wince. I take it I missed something?
I share Stephen’s love for you constantly, Soul says. It is the most dominant emotion he experiences when you are present!
Stephen’s dominant emotion about me is warmth! Tony protests.
Yes!
…that’s love?
Soul’s affirmation is wordless.
But it’s so quiet, Tony thinks.
Stephen has had millions of years to get past the ‘fireworks’ stage, Soul says, borrowing from his conversation with Scott.
Millions of years. Stephen had said he’d seen many possible relationships for himself. Somehow, it hadn’t occurred to Tony that any of them would have been with him.
Millions of years, and Stephen still loves him.
How is Tony supposed to live up to that?
Soul actually groans.