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Naruto had personally invited him. Sasuke had given him a tight-lipped smile despite the aching in his heart. How could he refuse his best friend’s request? He had been nothing but trouble and if going to his wedding was the only thing he could do for Naruto, then so be it.
Naruto smiled so brightly. Sasuke told him he would be there. He had gone back early that night, excusing himself which thankfully didn’t spark any curiosity from the others. Not that his presence made any difference, anywayーno one would bat an eye if he wasn’t with Naruto. He understood very well that it would need some time to gain their trust back.
“Get home safely, Sasuke.”
He opened the door to a dark room and walked over to the bed without even bothering to switch the light on even though nobody was there to see him cry. He laid down, crying quietly at first but then he felt the weight in his chest get heavier as he choked back his sobs. It was getting harder to breathe around the painful lump in his throat.
Sasuke ended up crying himself to sleep.
-
“Do you think you can help me do a taste test for the wedding food?”
Sasuke turned his head and leveled an unimpressed stare at Naruto. “Why would I do that?”
“C’mon, Sasuke! Everyone is preoccupied with their mission.”
“What makes you think I have the free time?” Sasuke folded his arms in front of his chest.
“Well, unless you want to go for another round of sparring…”
Sasuke scoffed. He would rather do a hundred sparring sessions with Naruto. He didn’t say that, though. “Fine.”
“For real?”
“If you pick ramen, I will kill you.”
“Am I not supposed to?”
“Naruto, it’s your wedding.”
Sasuke pinched the space between his eyebrows. He did agree to help him so he had no choice but to do it even if it meant he had to make sure Naruto didn’t do anything stupid.
They went to meet the coordinator from the catering company that evening. Sasuke had no idea why he was doing all of thisーmaybe he wanted to cherish the remaining days he could be close to Naruto.
“You are my closest friend.” The words rang clearly inside Sasuke's head.
“What does it mean, anyway?”
Sasuke knew exactly what it meant but it hurt too much to admit. The regret of years and years of pushing Naruto away was eating him alive but he knew there was nothing he could do. He was too lateーor he had no chance to begin with. Either way, he always came out as the loser.
If Naruto thought Sasuke was the right person to take care of the guest list, he was awfully wrong and yet here he was, sitting on the edge of Naruto’s bed, reading rows and rows of unfamiliar names. Naruto wished to have an intimate wedding where it was just their closest friends but considering his circumstances, of course it was impossible. At least not entirely.
Sasuke’s breath hitched when he felt Naruto’s presence hovering so close above him. It didn’t take a genius to tell from the soft smell of shampoo and warm air around him that his best friend just finished showering. A droplet fell onto the paper, smudging the excess lines Sasuke had drawn across several names he deemed unimportant. He frowned.
“Dry your hair properly, idiot.”
Naruto leaned closer, either to inspect the list closely or to piss Sasuke off. “Give me that.”
Sasuke snatched the towel from Naruto’s hand and pushed him down to sit on the floor which then made Sasuke belatedly notice that his best friend was half-naked. He cleared his throat and proceeded to towel Naruto’s hair dry with the small towel without saying anything.
“Is it hot? You can take a shower too if you want.”
Sasuke looked at Naruto incredulously.
“Your face is so red.”
Sasuke very obviously did not need Naruto to point that out. He was too focused not to stutter that he didn’t say anything in reply and just let out a defeated sigh. “It is hot and yes, let me borrow your shower.”
-
Sasuke was stressed. Kakashi had been giving him tasks non-stop. It kept him busy the whole day and it had been going on for nearly a week now. In the back of his mind, he was aware that the day he was dreading the most was coming but he was too exhausted to sit with his feelings.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m just really tired.”
Of all people, Naruto just had to be the one who found him. He was slumped against a big tree after Kakashi made him do a survey around the village, to get familiar with the villagers, as if Sasuke wasn’t born and raised there. Sasuke looked up from his water flask at Naruto who was fidgeting.
“Spill it.”
Naruto’s hand went up to rub the back of his head. “Can you help me pick the suit?”
Sasuke recognized that sheepish grin, yet unlike how it had always been, it made his blood boil. He could feel the anger building inside him.
“What?”
“Can you help-”
“I heard you the first time.”
“Yeah. So? Will you help?”
“I don’t want to help you.”
Naruto’s face turned serious. Sasuke knew he was just mirroring the expression he had on his own face. He put away the flask and stood up, tired of looking up at Naruto--tired of thinking he’s an insignificant presence in Naruto’s life.
“Why?” There was confusion on Naruto’s face.
“Are you really asking me why?”
“Of course! I want to know why you suddenly refuse now when you’ve been helping me all this-”
“Exactly! I’ve been taking care of the preparation for your wedding, Naruto!”
“But you agreed to help!”
Sasuke was overcome with anger he hadn’t felt in a while. He balled a fist to try to suppress it. “When did I?”
Naruto looked at him in disbelief. “I’m sorry for making you do all that, Sasuke.”
It was not what he expected but Sasuke didn’t know what kind of thing he expected Naruto would say. He certainly didn’t expect Naruto to look so sad. It felt so wrong. Naruto should have been angry at him, yelled at him and punched him and that way, Sasuke could fight back. Just like how it had always been.
He shouldn’t have turned around and walked away.
-
Sasuke didn’t remember when he had fallen asleep but when he awoke, it was 3 am in the morning. His eyes were still damp and his throat was aching so bad. Maybe it was the fatigue catching up to him, his body felt sore all over. There was a foreboding sense of dread when he realized he had a fight with Naruto.
No, he started a fight with Naruto.
It was a stress-fueled anger and it was stupid. Why couldn’t he just be happy for his best friend? But Sasuke knew best that he couldn’t. He was done lying to himself. He laid on his back, staring at the ceiling, wondering when it all started. Was Naruto done with him now?
Consequently, Naruto kind of avoided him. Whenever Sasuke came up to him, he seemed to always be preoccupied. Which was not weird at all since it was his wedding tomorrow. It also looked like the preparation was complete and there was no need for Sasuke to linger around.
He wished the neverending tasks from Kakashi were the only thing he could think about right now.
Sasuke watched everything from afar, leaning against a tree large enough to hide him. He didn’t know if his legs could support him. His whole body was shaking from trying to hold the tears. Somewhere between the end of the ceremony and the first person giving the two people at the altar a blessing, Sasuke broke down.
Naruto and Hinata looked dashing in the traditional wedding attire. They’ve never looked so happy, he thought. A bitter smile carved his face and Sasuke couldn’t help but wonder. What if he had accepted Naruto a long time ago? Would things turn out differently? What if he had realized his feelings sooner? What if he had told Naruto his feelings? Would it be him standing there by his side?
“You are my closest friend.”
But too bad, Sasuke had to ruin that too.
-
“...suke? Hey!”
“Hey, Sasuke! Wake up!”
“SASUKE!”
Sasuke’s eyes flew open. He was gasping for air, sweating and there were tears in his eyes. Naruto scrambled to pull him into a hug and rubbed his back until he stopped sobbing.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Sssh…”
Naruto could feel Sasuke clutching his arms tighter, his whole body shaking. “Naruto…”
“I’m here…”
Naruto waited until Sasuke calmed down and his crying had subdued, all while rubbing his back gently and whispering softly to him. “It’s okay, Sasuke. I’m here.”
“What the fuck was even that.” came Sasuke’s small voice after a while.
Naruto put him at an arm's length, examining his face. Sasuke still looked stressed and shaken up but he had calmed down significantly. “Hm? What was what?”
“It was a really weird dream.”
“Hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.” Naruto reached out to cup one side of Sasuke’s face.
Sasuke leaned into the touch, visibly relaxing. “No, it was weird. It was like an entirely different world. There were some people that I knew and…”
Naruto rubbed his thumb against Sasuke’s cheek. “And?”
“And you married someone-” he paused to take a deep breath. “...that girl who had a crush on you in school.”
Naruto laughed, amused. “Come on, you know I was already crazy for you back in school.”
Sasuke glared, a stray tear rolled down his cheek. Naruto wiped it away and along with it, his worries. “I knew that.”
Naruto smiled, humming in satisfaction.
“And I know it was just a dream but the pain felt so real.”
“Awww,” Naruto cooed. “Is that your way of saying you’re crazy for me too, Sasuke- Ouch!”
Naruto couldn’t believe Sasuke just bit his finger but at least his boyfriend was back to his own self. He pulled Sasuke close and bit his nose. “I can bite you too, you know.”
Sasuke laughed and circled his arms around Naruto’s neck. “Idiot.”